Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake: The Series!
by iamconstantine
Summary: The gender-swapped version of the series. ALL OF THIS IS COPYRIGHTED! I OWN NOTHING!
1. Slumber Party Panic

CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE:

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried.

**Lord Monochromicorn**—Prince Gumball's loyal companion and Cake's boyfriend. He is completely black with a long, gray mane, entirely different from Lady Rainicorn's multicolor scheme. He is more horse-like compared to Lady Rainicorn, although he still has a horn. He can also open black holes and fly. He speaks in Morse code, much like how Rainicorn speaks Korean. He can also neigh, despite him speaking in Morse. Lady Ranicorn has said that she flies by using light and "dancing" on it. However, Monochromicorn is black, which would mean he would absorb light. Lord Monochromicorn resembles a horse and a moonbow, a rainbow seen at night.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Tree-Trunks**—the male version of Tree Trunks is seen with a gray mustache and a green, see-through visor. He also has a few wrinkles on his trunk. This may imply that he is also old, like his female counterpart. He also wears a bright blue ribbon on his tail. He has thicker eyebrows than Tree Trunks.

**Mrs. Creampuff**—She is a female creampuff who used to date Prince Gumball. She looks like a cream puff, hence her name. She has chocolate on the top of her head. He also wears a flowery hat, and, like a cream puff, he may also be filled with cream or ice cream.

**Starchie**—A female malt ball who is a resident of the Candy Kingdom. She's a chocolate malt-ball with a pink hat, boots, and brown hair. She also has the same mustache as Starchy.

**Mrs. Cupcake**—she is a burly female cupcake and a resident in the Candy Kingdom. She appears to look exactly like Mr. Cupcake, but without his mustache and does not have a pink nose. It is revealed that in Slumber Party Panic, she is strawberry-flavored.

**Mandy**—she is a piñata who appears to live on the ceiling of the Grand Hall. She looked like Manifred, although she is neon green and hot pink and has eyelashes.

SLUMBER PARTY PANIC

"Yeah, you think you're way up there, but I can get you!" Cake called, growing 10 times larger to catch up to Lord Monochromicorn in the purplish sky. He neighed in reply.

Down below, in an old cemetery, Fionna and Prince Gumball were standing in front of a stone table. They both wore goggles, although Prince Gumball was wearing a lab coat as well.

"Just three more drops of explosive ears…" Prince Gumball said slowly, carefully dripping the liquid into the glass container.

A puff of smoke erupted in the shape of a skull. The liquid sparked a dark turquoise color. "Ooh!" Prince Gumball and Fionna said in unison.

"Hey Prince Gumball," Fionna said as Prince Gumball scribbled down something in his notepad, "When we bring the dead back to life, will they be filled with worms?"

"No," Prince Gumball said. "If my Decorpserum works, they should be as young and healthy as you are."

Fionna pounded her chest like an ape.

"Hand me that platter, tough girl," Prince Gumball laughed.

Fionna lifted the platter, revealing a pile of dirty garbage. "Old Mrs. Creampuff?"

Prince Gumball chuckled. "We used to date."

He injected the garbage with the serum. It oozed with the liquid.

The garbage glowed a puke green color. "Something's happening!"

Prince Gumball and Fionna crossed their fingers. "Come on…" "Come on…"

The garbage sprouted stubby arms and legs a hole appeared in its face as a mouth. It groaned.

"ALGEBRAIC!" Fionna cheered.

"Wait…something's wrong…"

"_SUGAR!" _The garbage moaned.

The liquid oozed out of every hole in its body. Prince Gumball and Fionna flinched.

The garbage jumped into the largest container, turning the blue liquid green. The container shattered into a million pieces, and all the liquid landed on the graves.

One by one, grubby, dirty hand erupted from the ground. Deceased candy people came out, moaning.

"Hey, look! The Decorpserum is working!" Fionna said.

"No! This is wrong!" Prince Gumball exclaimed. He looked at a female-looking heart that read, BE MINE. "They're still dead! The Decorpserum serum! It's incomplete!"

The heart growled at him and rasped, _"Must. Eat. Sugar."_

Fionna stuffed it down into the hole it crawled out of. "You're grounded!"

"This is really bad," Prince Gumball said worriedly. "They'll be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!"

"Why?"

"Because, the Candy People are made of sugar, ya ding-dong!"

Mrs. Creampuff crawled on him, making him yelp. _"Give me some sugar, baby."_

"Chew on _this!_" Fionna cried, kicking Mrs. Creampuff in the face.

Prince Gumball chuckled. "Good one, Fionna." He ushered for Fionna to go to the gate of the cemetery. "Quickly! To the kingdom!"

As they ran out, Fionna kicked a caramel-person in the face, yelling, "Get a life!"

Later, as the sky grew dark, everything was silent. The two 50-foot gumball-like statues sat on either side of the castle, blowing bubbles out of a ring. The 50-foot-tall cotton-candy tree that grew on the top of the castle rustled. The ice cream cones, frosting, and sprinkles adorning the castle stayed still. The chocolate rivers flowing down the castle's sides rushed calmly. Everything was silent—

DONG! DONG! DONG!

Out of the blue, a giant bell chimed.

Prince Gumball stood in one of the towers of the castle, ringing the bell. "ALL CITIZENS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM! REPORT TO THE PALACE! **IMMEDIATELY**!"

Murmuring curiously, all the Candy People walked to the castle.

"Whoa!" Cake yelped, and she and Lord Monochromicorn dashed to the castle.

Prince Gumball looked at the citizens, then at the approaching zombies. "Hurry, citizens…"

Later, at the entrance, Fionna was guiding everyone in. "Alright! You heard the prince! Everyone in! All right, no pushing! Come on!"

"What's up?" Cake asked Fionna as he and Lord Monochromicorn came in.

"The prince will explain everything. Tree-Trunks! Get those hot biscuits in her, dude!"

"Oh, I hope everything's okay…" Tree-Trunks came in, carrying a basket of hot biscuits.

Prince Gumball and Fionna shut the doors. "Did we get everyone?" Fionna asked.

"All present and accounted for," A talking female piñata said.

"Thanks, Mandy," Fionna said.

"You're welcome."

"Citizens," Prince Gumball said, "We assemble here in the castle for a momentous announcement! Tonight, we are all going to have…a slumber party!"

"WHAT?!" Fionna exclaimed.

All the Candy People cheered. Lord Monochromicorn neighed, and Cake gave a thumbs-up.

"Wait," Fionna said, "What about the zom—"

Prince Gumball slapped a hand over her mouth. "Go ahead and start partying!"

"Buth Gumballb," Fionna muffled under Prince Gumball's hand, "Tha undread!"

Prince Gumball slapped his over hand over her mouth. Grabbing her, he called, "We'll be right back, everyone!" and ran into an empty room.

"Fionna," Prince Gumball said in the empty room, "The Candy People can't know about the zombies!"

"WHA?" Fionna cried.

"If they knew, they would flip out!" Prince Gumball explained.

"What do you mean, 'flip out'?" Fionna asked.

"I mean, they would flip. _OUT._"

_Starchie walked into the cemetery, calling, "Prince? It's me, Starchie the gravedigger. I brought you a larger corpse shovel."_

_No response._

"_Oh Prince? Well, I'll just wait for you here, then. At the mausoleum. With my back turned. And my defenses lowered."_

_A zombie crawled out of the mausoleum. Starchie turned curiously around, her eyes wide._

"_Sugar…" The zombie groaned._

_Starchie screamed. And screamed. And screamed._

_She exploded._

"CANDY PEOPLE EXPLODE WHEN THEY GET SCARED?!" Fionna exclaimed.

"Not letting the Candy People know about the zombies is so important that you need to promise." Prince Gumball waved his arms dramatically. "_Royal _Promise. Not to let anyone know about the zombies. _Ever._"

"Okay, sure."

"No, Fionna. You have to _Royal _Promise."

"Yes," Fionna knelt down, a hand on her heart, "I Royal Promise."

"I'm going to go to my lab and finish the Decorpserum," Prince Gumball said, "You keep the Candy People distracted and ignorant. Can you do that?"

"Yes, your highness."

"Good. Don't tell anyone about the zombies." Prince Gumball turned to the door. "Never ever."

"Oh, wait," Fionna called as the door closed, "Can I at least tell Cake?"

"Tell me about what, girl?" Cake asked as she opened the door.

"You know, about the outbreak of zom—" She slapped a hand to her mouth.

Cake chuckled. "Alright, what's going on?"

Fionna nervously laughed. "Nothing. Nothing at all, gal-pal!"

"Hey, I think you and Gumball are up to something," Cake said skeptically.

"What? No! No way!" Fionna lied.

"Ya'll _are _up to something!" Cake beamed. "Is it some sort of prank? Can I get in on it?"

"Who wants to play Truth or Dare?" Fionna said nervously, running away.

Cake tapped her chin with her eyes narrowed.

"Okay," Fionna said to the ring of Candy People as Cake sat down, "Cocobarry, you dare someone to tell a deep truth or a saucy dare."

"Mrs. Cupcake," Cocobarry said, "Suce or Dare?"

"Dare," Mrs. Cupcake said.

"I dare you to take off zour icing."

The crowd all replied, "Ooooooooooooooooooh!"

"Hey seriously, girl," Cake nudged Fionna, "I'm your sister. Sisters are supposed to tell their sisters everything all the time. What are you and Gumball up to? Is everything all right?"

"Yep! Fine! Everything's great! Except for that. Whoa."

She looked at Mrs. Cupcake, who had taken off her icing, revealing a brown top.

There were murmurs from the crowd, "Wow." "She did it." "I didn't know she was strawberry."

"Cake," Mrs. Cupcake said in a Peruvian accent, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Would you prefer chocolate or fudge?"

"I can't eat chocolate or fudge because I'm a cat and they'd probably kill me, but…probably…neither! Fionna! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare! Ha-ha!" Fionna answered.

"I dare you…to tell me the truth about what's going on in your mind! What were you and Gumball talking about when you were alone together?" Cake dared her, her hands on her hips.

The crowd gave an exaggerated _"Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!_"

"Um…uh…" Fionna thought nervously. "The truth is…"

He imagined Prince Gumball scolding her, _You promised you wouldn't flippin' tell __anyone__! You're so cute, Fionna…_

"Uh…the truth is…I'd rather play Dodge-Shoe!"

She took off one of her black shoes and threw it at Cake.

"I'm not playing Dodge-Shoe until you stop dodging my questions!" Cake told her. She sniffed the shoe skeptically. "Hey…Old Mrs. Creampuff? Isn't she dead?"

"Give me my shoe back!" Fionna groped for it, but Cake moved it out of her reach, "Dodge-Shoe was a bad idea!"

"Look, girl, tell me what's going on! You are acting crazier than a cannibal! You're making my tail frizz out every time you…"

Fionna didn't hear the rest. She looked past Cake through the window, at the approaching zombies.

_Oh goodness! _Fionna thought desperately _The Prince hasn't finished the equation! And the zombies are here!_

She put her back to the window so that Cake couldn't see the zombies. "The truth is, he wanted the party to be super-fun, and if I _did_ have something to tell you, then I would, in a second, and it would make my life easier, unless there was something was stopping me, like a promise, but there isn't, so I won't, so it's cool!"

She saw a zombie come to the window. She closed it hurriedly, as Cake replied, _"What? _You lost me."

"Uh…Hey, you know what time it is?"

"Adventure time?" Cake shrugged.

"No! it's time for Bloody Jerry! You're first!"

"Really?" Cake asked as Fionna pushed her away from the window.

"Lord Monochromicorn! Get into the bathroom with Cake!"

Lord Monochromicorn tapped the floor twice and stomped once and circled his foot to say, _Coming! _(I can't really speak Morse Code. I'm just making it up.)

"Okay, okay," Cake said as Fionna closed the door, "But when Jerry comes, I'm coming out to make you spill your beans, Fionna!"

"I can't hear you! Jerry's making too much noise!" Fionna called, opening the window to look at the approaching undead.

All the zombies grew nearer to the castle, moaning, _"SUGAR!" _

A couple of zombies started banging on the door to the castle. A female malt-ball who was sitting on the front stairs heard it. "Um…Does anyone else hear that?"

"What? Hear what? I don't hear anything!" Fionna lied nervously.

But all the Candy People murmured curiously as the banging continued.

"I'm hearing a noise I don't understand…" The female malt-ball whimpered. She began to shiver, "And it makes me scared!"

"What? No, Chelsea!" Fionna told the malt-ball, "What noise?" She turned on the boom box sitting next to Chelsea. "You mean this noise?"

And once the music started, Chelsea was immediately running to the dance floor to dance. Soon, the Candy People completely forgot about the banging noise and started dancing to the music as colorful lights began to flash.

"Yeah! Dance!" Fionna encouraged them. "Go! Don't stop—Gasp!"

Coming through the far wall's door was a popsicle zombie, moaning, _"Sugar…"_

Fionna, taking immediate action, ran through the crowd, grabbed a long wooden bench, and ran for the door.

"What iz thiz game hou are playing now, Fionna?" Cocobarry asked her.

Fionna pressed the bench against the door and, looking at Cocobarry as she hammered it to the door, replied, "Uh…It's…Block-O-Do! The game of barricading! Come on, block all the entrances and windows!"

The Candy People cheered at the thought of the "game." Everyone ran around the Grand Hall, grabbing furniture and hammering it to the windows and doors, blocking out the zombies.

"Alright," Fionna thought aloud, "This is not a _permanent _solution. Think, Fionna, how can you keep from everyone from finding out…?"

"Find out about what, Fionna?" Mandy asked her from the ceiling.

"Mandy, the talking piñata, you're convenient appearance gives me a great idea!" Fionna realized. She ripped a leg off the bench, "Everyone, new game! Everyone grab a stick! Let's mash some piñatas!"

"_What?!"_

"Not you, Mandy."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"Now," Fionna took some strips off of a paper-Mache-looking animal. "Everyone put on some blindfolds!"

The Candy People, blindfolded and sticks in hand, cheered. Fionna got into the center of the crowd. "OK, everyone, get together!"

The Candy People huddled into a large group.

"I'm hanging the piñatas!" Fionna said as the zombies began to break through the blockings. "They're all around you!"

And just as all the zombies broke through, Fionna cried, _"Smash the piñatas!"_

The Candy People ran around, cheering, hitting the zombies with their sticks successfully. Fionna, being the only one who new what was going on, kicked, punched, and stabbed multiple zombies. The Candy People were hitting the zombies madly by now.

"Yeah! You guys are on fire!" Fionna told them.

Cocobarry stabbed a zombie, and a fountain of sugar and candy spilled out. He began eating it (almost cannibalistically.)

Soon, all the zombies were out cold and all the Candy People were eating the sugary treats that had come from them.

"WE DID IT!" Fionna cheered in triumph. "My stupid plan worked!"

"Bye, Jerry," Cake said to a bloody, deformed man seconds before he disappeared as she stepped out of the closet with Lord Monochromicorn.

When she saw everyone eating sugary candy and the brittle zombies everywhere, she gasped and ran up to Fionna. "WHAT THE NUTS HAPPENED HERE?!"

"Oh, we killed all the zombies Prince Gumball and I raised from the dead," Fionna said casually.

"Really?" Cake asked.

Everything froze. The Candy People stood still, unblinking with their hands still full of treats. Cake stood unblinking, still having a shocked expression on her face. Fionna was the only one in the room moving.

"Cake?" Fionna asked, waving her hand in front of her friend's face. "Cake? What's going on?"

At that moment, Prince Gumball walked into the room with a vial in his hand.

"Wha—?" He looked around at the frozen setting, "_Fionna, did you break your royal promise?!"_

"Yeah," Fionna said, flustered, "But—I mean—all the zombies are dead! The Candy People won't freak out! What's the big deal?"

"This is really, really bad, Fionna!" Prince Gumball told her. "You can't break Royal Promises! Never ever, no matter what, forever!"

At that moment, everything shook madly. The walls cracked and the floors shook, but everyone stood frozen.

"The guardians of the Royal Promises are coming for us…" Prince Gumball whispered hoarsely.

A enormous hand broke through the ceiling and scooped the two of them up. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The hand's owner turned out to be one of the gumball-machine-like statues that sat on either side of the castle.

"Fionna the human," It said in a robotic female voice, "You have broken a Royal Promise. For which the penalty is…trial by fire."

The other statue erupted flames from its mouth.

"That's stupid." Fionna said.

"WAIT!" Prince Gumball told them. "She's my friend! Isn't there another option?!"

"Yes," The first stature said, "Because you care for the promise-breaker, we will give her a less hot trial. You must now answer…"

"Math questions!" The second statue said.

"Mathematical!" Fionna said.

"Fionna, you're terrible at Math!" Prince Gumball told her.

She sighed.

"Now," The first statue said, "Solve this!"

The second statue made a hologram with its eyes, reading:

_8V=G7DJUFN+R73(T)NFD64JG9+GHF98HTW948TH9GS8%FIUNTG94584Y{F85}UTRH485YU49RTGH I9485U9486U346E8TU98UT596U0596U5=?_

"Uh…" Fionna gawked.

"Oh, wait," The statue shut down the hologram. "I thought of a better one."

It put up another one, reading, _4+4_

"Yes, four plus four!" The first statue agreed. "Solve it or die."

"Uh…" Fionna thought. "Eight?"

The statues laughed, then froze. "Oh. Correct."

Time sped up the second statue leapt back into its place, picked up its bubble wand, and froze. The color came back to everything. The chocolate fountains began running again.

"What's happening, Prince Gumball?" Fionna asked him as things started to shake roughly again.

"You defeated the Royal Promise! The guardians are resetting!"

The first statue dropped them and went back into its place. Just as they were falling, Prince Gumball and Fionna vanished.

Prince Gumball and Fionna appeared in the lab.

"Slam-a-cow!" Fionna cheered, "That was tops! I was all, _eight_!"

"Eight…eight…" Prince Gumball beamed with realization, "That's it! The answer was so simple, I was too smart to see it!"

"You're welcome."

"Eight is the last number I need for the Decorpserum!" Prince Gumball told her, drawing an 8 at the end of an equation on a blackboard.

Later, Prince Gumball put a little drop of an orange liquid on a zombie. It glowed, then it became a live, healthy, apple Candy Person.

Prince Gumball and Fionna went around the room, bringing the zombies back to (healthier) life.

"This is messed up," Cake said, "But sweet!"

Lord Monochromicorn neighed in agreement.

All over the Grand Hall, Candy People went to go see their previously-dead relatives.

"Uncle Chewy!"

"Grandma!"

"All my dead relatives!"

"Starchie!" Cake said, greeting the malt ball.

"Morning!" She said.

"Girl," Cake told Fionna, "You broke a Royal Promise? You crazy! All you had to say is that it was a royal secret! I would understand!"

Prince Gumball walked up to Fionna as Cake walked away and said, "I hope you grasp the full consequences of breaking promises."

"Flip yeah! If I break a Royal Promise, I get to fight zombies, solve Math problems, and—and—"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Prince Gumball told her.

"_And reverse death itself."_

"You really are adorable," Prince Gumball told her, "But keep your promises, okay?"

"I will, Prince," Fionna told him.

She looked down to see Starchie chewing on her leg.

"Starchie, you're not a zombie," Fionna told her, plucking her off of her leg.

"I can't help it. Flesh is delicious."

"You're delicious?"

"Don't squeeze me, I'll burp! *BURP*"

**FACTS ABOUT THIS EPISODE:**

· It is revealed in this episode that Lord Monochromicorn speaks in Morse code.

· One of the ingredients in Prince Gumball's formula is "explosive ears".

· Princess Bubblegum's laboratory has a miniature version of one of the Guardians of the Royal Promises.

· It appears as if Mandy was not blindfolded during the 'piñata smashing' and saw the entire zombie situation, so she knew about it. Fionna completely overlooks this. However, it should be noted that Mandy is not a Candy Person, and thus is not prone to flipping out.

· When the first candy zombie tries to bite Prince Gumball, it says "Give me some sugar, baby," quoting Bruce Campbell's character from Army of Darkness.

· Prince Gumball said that the serum was going to turn the undead young and healthy, but some of them stay elderly.

· A zombie Fionna can be seen in this episode. It is not known how it got there, and it is not mentioned.


	2. Trouble in Lumpy Space

In the last chapter, you may have notices some typing errors. 1: In the sentence, _she looked at Mrs. Cupcake, who had taken off her icing, revealing a brown top, _it was supposed to say PINK top, because she was strawberry. And in the facts where it says, _Princess Bubblegum's laboratory has a miniature version of one of the Guardians of the Royal Promises, _It was supposed to say PRINCE GUMBALL'S since Princess Bubblegum wasn't even in the episode. I am so sorry. T-T

**CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE:**

**Fionna—**is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**Cake—**Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Prince Gumball: **An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. In this episode, hh wears a formal white suit with light purple buttons. He also wears a light purple undershirt and adark purple tie. He wears light purple socks and dark purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

**Lumpy Space Prince**—is a gender-bender of LSP and the prince of Lumpy Space. Lumpy Space Prince is identical to Lumpy Space Princess only with a mustache and a darker shade of colors. He is most likely 15 years old.

**Lumpy Space Dad**—LSP's father and the king of Lumpy Space. He is conjoined with his wife for an unknown reason. He has brown hair around the top of his bald head. He also wears glasses and a tie.

**Lumpy Space Mom**—LSP's mother and the queen of Lumpy Space. She is conjoined with her husband for an unknown reason. She has short black hair in a bun and wears glasses.

**Mel**—LSP's best friend and a resident of Lumpy Space. His female counterpart is Melissa. He is slightly bulky and is a light shade of violet. He has some bangs coming over his eyes.

**Brittany—**LSP's ex-girlfriend and a resident of Lumpy Space. She is the same color as her male counterpart, Brad. She wears white jeans and a red tank top. She has a mass of lumps down her back for her hair.

**Gladys**—A resident of Lumpy Space and one of the three Lumpy Space 'Smooth posers'. She is a dark shade of teal. She wears horn-rimmed glasses. Her face is dotted with freckles. Unlike Margie and Lindy, her Smooth-form is unknown.

**Lindy—**A resident of Lumpy Space and one of the three Lumpy Space 'Smooth posers'. In her Lumpy form, she is a light shade of blue and wears a purple burette. She has a curly mass of lumps for her hair. In her Smooth-form, she is a light shade of pink and has more of a figure like Fionna. She has freckles on her face. She wears the same burette and has long, curly yellow-brown hair. She wears blue overalls with green straps over a purple sweater. She also wears brown cowboy boots.

**Margie**—A resident of Lumpy Space and one of the three Lumpy Space 'Smooth posers'. In her Lumpy form, she is a light color of fuchsia. She has short blond hair and freckles. In her Smooth-form, she is the same color and has the same freckles, although her hair is waist-length. She wears a long green sweater like a dress and wears boots. She also has a green scarf around her neck.

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. ALL OF THE CHARACTERS AND THE PLOT ARE COPYRIGHTED.

Nightmare in Lumpy Space

Fionna jumped in the air again, trying not to spill her coffee. Cake followed her, trying to get her coffee back in her cup. Lumpy Space Prince simply bounced around.

"Cheers, LSP," Prince Gumball told him, bouncing next to him.

They were all bouncing on GIGANTIC gumdrops, holding cups in hand, trying not to let their coffee spill.

"Prince Gumball, this party stinks in a big way," Fionna told him, bouncing madly, "But thanks for the invite."

"Oh, don't worry, Fionna," Prince Gumball told her, "The Gumdrop Coffee Ceremony takes years to master."

"Prince," Fionna told him, "I think I just now mastered it!"

Her coffee came out of her cup and splashed in her face.

"Once more bounce…" She told herself, "Hold on…"

She landed face-down on the ground. "Coffee's hard. Huh, Cake?"

Cake fell next to her. "Yes."

"What?" LSP said, "No way. It's super easy."

"LSP, you're faking!" Fionna told her. "You're floating, not bouncing!"

"Fine; I'll prove it." LSP said.

The star on top of his head went gray. He fell down multiple gumdrops. "Oh! Ow! Oh snap!" He fell to the ground, and his teeth sank into Cake's ankle.

Cake yelped.

"Oh, sorry, I difn't mean to bifth your legh," LSP muffled through his teeth.

"_You're still biting me!"_

"Right, sorry." LSP put his star back on and got off.

"Cake," Fionna exclaimed. "You're leg!" She pointed at Cake's leg, which was growing a strange lump.

"This is…new…" Cake said. "Nothing ominous, though: just a bump."

"No. That's no bump." LSP said, "That's the early stage of the Lumps."

"Is it serious?" Fionna asked worriedly.

"It just means she's turning into a Lumpy Space gal. On account of my bite," He pointed at his pointy teeth. "It's kind of, you know, the whole werewolf thing." He growled like a wolf.

"_Oh no," _Fionna said.

"What, you think I'm going to get all Lumpy like him?" Cake asked her. "Get out of here."

Out of the blue, her arm began to swell and turn lumpy. Her leg turned bumpy. "Fionna, I think I'm freaking out!"

"Hang on!" Fionna said. "I…I'll sock the Lumpiness out of ya!"

A cup shattered between them.

"Hey now," Prince Gumball came bouncing down to them, "Royal intervention." He turned to LSP and said, "Surely there must be some cure to the Lumps."

"Yeah; there's an Antidote." LSP said, "But you have to go all the way to Lumpy Space to get it. And Cake has to use it by sunset."

"What happens if she doesn't take the Antidote by sunset?" Prince Gumball asked him.

"She'll be Lumpy, like, _forever_." LSP said dramatically.

"LSP, please," Fionna begged, "Can you tell us how to get to Lumpy Space?"

"Yeah," LSP said, "There's a portal nearby. I can show you. Whatever."

"_Take us now! Take us now!"_ Fionna and Cake told him, pushing him away to the cotton-candy forest.

Just as Prince Gumball was going to come along, his stomach growled. "I should not have drunken that much coffee." He ran away.

"Don't tell anyone about this portal or whatever," LSP told Fionna and Cake. "It's kind of a secret."

* * *

><p>LSP stopped. Fionna and Cake looked around; there was nothing but cotton-candy trees, rocks, a toadstool, and a bird sitting next to it.<p>

"Where is it?" Fionna asked LSP.

"The portal's that bird and mushroom," LSP said, pointing at the bird and toadstool.

The bird hopped on the toadstool and chirped, "Password, please."

"WHATEVER! IT'S 2012!" LSP yelled.

"Good day, your highness," The bird chirped, "Is your mother okay with you entering Lumpy Space with two Non-Lumpers?"

"Just say yes!" Fionna told LSP. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Whatever," LSP told the bird, "Fine."

The bird opened its beak. It shot out a ridiculously long pink tongue and swallowed the three of them whole.

Fionna screamed as she was pulled through a green and blue tunnel, pulled by the tongue.

She finally came out and hit a purple cloud.

She looked around. "Whoa."

Lumpy Space was made of up purple, cloud-like, lumpy fragments of land floating ominously in a purplish starry sky. A few purple comets came every now and then. Trees were scattered on the land fragments, lumpy and blue.

"Lumpy Space," Fionna turned to LSP, "So…where's the Antidote?"

"Hold it," LSP said, "First, you should check out my house. It's kind of lame, but way less lame than like, your house."

He gestured to a lumpy purple 3-story house with purple roofs and countless windows and a long pipe was coming from one side, erupting smoke.

"Can you skip to the part where you tell us where the antidote is?" Cake asked him, dragging her lumpy arm and leg.

"It's up there, at Kissing Peak," LSP told her, pointing to a pinkish hill not too far away that had a single red tree.

"It's so close!" Fionna said, running towards the hill. "We can get there in no…time…"

As she ran closer, it was revealed that there was actually a mile-long gap from Kissing Peak from where they stood.

"Aw, WHAT?" Fionna yelled. "It's like a million-mile fall into space!" She pointed down below at the starry purple abyss.

"Yeah," LSP said, "You have to travel by car in my world, or you'll fall into the Lumpy abyss."

"SON!"

LSP turned around to see a plump Lumpy Space woman, driving to the house in a lumpy yellow car. "You brought Smooth People into our domain?"

"I have to, Mom!" LSP told her, "I'm trying to help them! So don't lumping yell at me!"

"What did you say?"

LSP mother turned around to reveal a Lumpy man growing out of her back, which was LSP's father. "What did you just say?"

"I said LUMP OFF, DAD!" LSP yelled. "LUMP OFF!"

He breathed heavily. Fionna approached him. "Uh…"

"WHAT?"

"Vroom-vroom…?"

"Oh yeah," LSP turned to his parents, "I need to borrow the car."

"That is the last time you talk to your father like that!" LSP's mother said, going into the house with his father. "You are hereby BANNED from using the royal car!"

"Shucks! I lumping hate them!" LSP yelled. He turned to Fionna, "I'm really, really sorry, Fionna, but I can't help you. My parents are horrible idiots."

"Don't you know anyone _else_ with a car?" Fionna asked.

"My friend Mel has a car," LSP said, "But he's dating my ex-girlfriend, Brittany."

"Call—him—_now_." Fionna said drastically.

LSP took out a blue phone and ordered, _"Call Mel12._"

Somewhere else, a bulky purple Lumpy Space guy was sitting in a red car when his green phone rang. He answered it, "Hello?"

"Hey Mel, what's up?" LSP asked, and there was immediate chatter on the other end.

"What'd he say?" Fionna asked quickly.

"I'm asking him, jeez," LSP whispered back. "Mel, just listen!"

"_Have you forgotten what tonight is?"_

"Mel, I'm trying to help out some friends!"

"_Tonight is the weekly Homeproming Dance!"_

LSP froze, "Oh Glob. I forgot."

"What'd he say?" Fionna asked worriedly.

"Tonight is the weekly Homeproming Dance," LSP told her. _"Mel, if we don't have dates again, Johnny is going to beat us up again for sure—!"_

"LSP, we don't have time for this." Fionna said calmly. "Ask for the _ride_, LSP!"

But he kept on talking frantically. Fionna took the phone away.

"Wha—?" LSP said.

"_Mel,"_ Fionna tried to imitate LSP while the real LSP tried to get his phone back from her, _"I need you to drive us to Kissing Peak so we can invite some hot girls over there."_

"LSP, you rock, man," Mel said, "Be there in a sec."

"_Bye," _Fionna said.

LSP took his phone back and scoffed.

"Sorry," Fionna said, "But Cake's Lumpiness is worsening."

"Actually, I think I'm fighting it back with sheer willpower."

Her eye swelled.

"Oh my."

She stuffed it back in.

"Yeah, whatever," LSP said, "Just don't mess with my phone again."

"Hi!" Mel called, driving into the driveway in his red car, accidently hitting Fionna.

"Okay, let's go! Let's go!" Fionna shook it off and hopped into the back seat with Cake.

* * *

><p>2 minutes into the ride, LSP turned on the radio and put on some mangaanime song.

"Aw, girl," Cake said, "This music ducks, right?"

She suddenly shook and said, "Aw. I love this song. We should totally TP Ashley's house."

She turned back to normal as Fionna gawked. "Gracious! That was terrible! Fionna, if you can't save me from the Lumps, if I _do_ turn," she gestured to LSP and Mel, "If I become Lumpy like them, I want you to—"

Fionna pulled her into a hug. "It's not going to come to that! But if it does, I'll bury you under the nicest, shadiest tree—!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cake jumped back. "I'm saying _if _I go totally Lumpy, then I want you to get used to Lumpy Cake!" She narrowed her eyes. "What did you think I was saying?"

"Oh, um…" Fionna stuttered. "Uh…CAN'T THIS CAR GO ANY FASTER?"

"We're already here," Mel said, _"Hi, Fionna…_"

"We've been here for like, 5 minutes," LSP said.

"Finally," Fionna jumped out of the car, "Huh?"

They had pulled up to a greenish, lumpy house with two stories and a green car in the garage. "This doesn't like Kissing Peak," Fionna told Mel.

"This is Brittany's house," Mel said. He turned angry. "_You _wanted a ride to Kissing Peak?" He lifted Fionna off the ground, "You think _I _want to kiss _you?_"

"Uh…"

"Well, maybe I do, but…wait! I have a girlfriend, Fionna!" He threw Fionna behind his back, and she hit the car.

"LSP, we've got to hurry!" Fionna gestured to Cake, whose forehead was swelling. "Cake's running out of time!"

"Hey," LSP said, "This is hard for me, too. I mean, I used to eat tacos with Brittany. So there's going to be a lot of romantic tension on this ride."

"Hey," Brittany greeted when she came out. "You miss me, LSP?"

"Scoot over, Fionna," LSP frowned, "I'm going to sit in the back."

* * *

><p>"This is it," LSP said when the car finally came to Kissing Peak.<p>

"Let's go," Fionna said as she and Cake hopped out of the car.

"Watch yourself, Fionna," LSP told her dramatically, "The gals who use the Antidote up her are notorious for being _Smooth posers._"

"What does _that _mean?"

"It just means what it means," LSP said. "Hurry up and get the Antidote so we can get out of here."

"Thanks, LSP," Fionna told him before beginning to run to the hill with Cake.

"Bumps," LSP called to them, pointing at his head.

"Uh…Bumps, yeah, bumps…" Cake and Finn said awkwardly.

Cake's other arm swelled. "Aw, dang!"

Fionna grabbed Cake and ran up the hill. At the top, there were two Lumpy Space girls and one Smooth girl sitting on a pearly ball.

"Hey gals," Fionna greeted them, "Looking Smooth."

"Really?" One Lumpy Space girl, Gladys, said. "You think we're Smooth?"

"Well, mostly you in the center, but yeah," Fionna shrugged.

"Why are you sucking up to us?" The one Smooth girl, Margie, asked.

"My best friend needs an Antidote for Lumpiness," Fionna gestured to Cake.

"Lumpiness stinks," The other Lumpy girl, Lindy, agreed. She turned to Margie. "Hey Margie, times up."

She pushed Margie off the pearly white ball she was sitting on and sat on it herself, turning her into a Smooth person. Margie turned into a Lumpy Person.

"So the Antidote is in that orb you're sitting on?" Fionna questioned.

"This orb _is_ the Antidote, bra." Lindy said.

"Can my friend borrow it?"

"Sure, as long as you give it right back."

She stood and gave Fionna the orb. "Slam-a-cow! Thanks, gals!"

"Are you guys ready or what?" LSP asked, coming to the top of the hill.

Lindy took the Antidote back from Fionna. "Is this another 'friend' of yours?"

"What do you care?" LSP asked, "Just give her the Antidote already. And stop being such a poser."

"Sorry, bra," Margie apologized as she and the other two walked away with the Antidote. "We changed our minds."

"Why did you have to say all those rude things to them?" Fionna asked LSP angrily.

"What?" LSP shrugged, "I was helping you."

"Thanks a lot!" Fionna yelled, "They were about to give us the Antidote!"

"You're welcome a lot."

"You insulted them! And they got mad! And now Cake's going to be Lumpy forever!" Fionna yelled. Cake looked down, surprised to see she was beginning to float.

"THIS IS YOUR _ENTIRE_ FAULT!" Fionna yelled at LSP.

"Well, now I know how you really feel," LSP said. "I was just trying to help or whatever." He began to tear up. "No. No, not whatever! I know I mess things up sometimes, but I'm really trying!" Fionna blushed scarlet and looked feebly at the ground. "And you're supposed to be my friend! Not like the fake ones I have here! So do what you want! I'm going to Homeproming!"

He turned to Cake and asked, "Are you coming or not, Lumpy Cake?"

"No," Cake said, "Because no matter how messed-up and Lumpy I get, this gal never turns her back on me." Fionna beamed.

Suddenly, Cake twisted and bubbled until she was a Lumpy Space person. Fionna gawked when she said, "Aw yeah. Right behind ya. I just got to turn my back on this loser."

"CAKE!" Fionna called to her. "It's almost sunset!"

She watched as Lumpy Cake hopped into Mel's car and sped away as the sun glowed orange.

"Cake…" Fionna whimpered. "Didn't….save her…I…" Her face twisted and she cried out in rage. She began tearing at the ground, screaming, _"I'LL KILL YOU, LUMPY SPACE!"_

"Chill out, bra."

"Huh?" Fionna turned around to see Gladys, Margie, and Lindy smiling at her. "I thought you guys left."

"We were drawn back by your furious wail," Margie said, "We dig your directionless fury."

"Um…thanks."

"Respect," Margie threw the pearly orb Antidote to her, "Here, take it. Win your guy back."

"Yeah, there's no guy," Fionna smiled weakly, "But there is still time to save Cake! Do you guys know where Homeproming is?"

"Homeproming takes place way down on that Land-Lump." Margie said, pointing to a large dome sitting on a fragment of land at least a mile below them.

"Awesome," Fionna said, "Do any of ya'll have wheels?"

"No," Margie said, "We were all ditched her, just like you."

"Well, do you think I could make it to that Land-Lump if I jump off this cliff?"

"Are you kidding?" Margie exclaimed. "A Smoothie like you would plummet right into the eternal void."

"What if I was Lumpy?" Fionna asked, not taking her eyes off of the Homeproming. "Could I float there?"

"No, no!" Lindy told her. "It's too dangerous!"

"I'd say there was a fifty-fifty chance of you making it," Gladys retorted.

"That's good enough for me," Fionna said, "Now bite me!"

"Are you crazy?" "No way!" "Not happening!" They all retorted.

Fionna didn't take no for an answer. She forced Gladys's jaw to clamp down on her arm, Margie's teeth to pierce her leg, and Lindy's incisors to stab her neck.

"Yes!" Fionna smiled weakly, watching her arm swell and turn lumpy. "I can feel the Lumpifacation process!" Her leg and stomach swelled.

"I'm starting to float!" She said, levitating a few feet from the ground.

"Don't jump, gal!" Lindy pleaded.

"I have to," Fionna told her, "For my buddy."

With a yell, she leaped off of the cliff and down to the Land-Lump, with Gladys saying, "Wow. She's insane."

* * *

><p>Fionna broke through the roof of the Homeproming dome and stopped a foot above the floor. "Made it." All around her, there were green and blue decorations and Lumpy People dancing. A balloon-arch was hanging above the entrance.<p>

"There she is!" Fionna spotted Lumpy Cake.

"Yeah, Homeproming, yeah, cool," Lumpy Cake said.

Fionna floated over, saying, "Cake! I'm mostly Lumpy now! And I totally think you need to sit on this sphere!"

"No!" Lumpy Cake refused, dodging the Antidote-orb as Fionna pushed it to her. Fionna tried over and over to make her sit on it, but Lumpy Cake kept dodging it.

"No!" Lumpy Cake said finally, slapping the Antidote-orb out of Fionna's hand.

"Please, Cake," Fionna pleaded, "You're my best friend. Just sit on this sphere!"

"Sha, I remember you." Lumpy Cake scoffed. "You're just a Smoothie-Wanna-Be, Lumpy-Poser."

"Sit on it!" Fionna told her, pushing her to the Antidote-orb, "Before I turn completely Lumpy!"

"No!"

"Oh no," Fionna gasped, "I can feel the Lumpiness about to consume me…!"

Suddenly, she twisted and bubbled and turned into a Lumpy Space girl. "Oh yeah. Being Lumpy is the best."

"Hey, stop talking to yourself, dumb-o," Lumpy Cake scoffed at her, floating away. "Take your ball and get out of here."

"Fine," Lumpy Fionna said, "I don't want you to have it, anyway."

"So I can't have it now, eh?" Lumpy Cake snarled.

"That's right. It's mine."

Lumpy Cake glared. She reached for the orb. "Give me that ball!"

"No!" Lumpy Fionna tried to pull it from her reach. "You can't have it!"

"Give me it!" Lumpy Cake pulled it harder.

"No!"

"I want it! Give it to me!"

"You want it that bad?" Lumpy Fionna tossed it over her head. "Get it, then!"

Lumpy Cake accidently fell backwards and landed on the Antidote, changing her back to normal. "I'm not Lumpy anymore! Oh no…"

"Fionna, girl," She ran up to Lumpy Fionna. She held out the Antidote to her. "You've got to sit on this!"

"No!" Lumpy Fionna ran/floated away from her. Cake ran after her.

"You can't make me, Smooth—oof!"

She ran into a burly Lumpy Space guy. She fell backwards, and her world went black.

* * *

><p>"<em>Fionna. Hey, Fionna. Girl, are you okay?"<em>

Fionna narrowed her eyes, seeing Cake, no longer Lumpy, staring at her worriedly. "Huh?" It took her a minute to realize that she was no longer Lumpy, but Smooth.

"Hey girl," Cake said, "We made it."

"What am I sitting on?" Fionna stood, seeing that she was sitting on the Antidote. "The Antidote! Just in the nick of time, too!"

She walked up to LSP. "I'm sorry for blowing up at you, LSP. I didn't mean it. I was just really stressed out."

"It's fine," LSP said, "You can make it up to me by sharing this last dance with me."

"Sounds good to me," Fionna turned to Cake, "What do you say, Cake?"

"That sounds, like, totally lame."

Everyone at Homeproming gasped.

"I'm just kidding. Let's dance!"

**FACTS ABOUT THIS EPISODE:**

· The 1st time Cake is seriously injured.


	3. Prisoners of Love

Hi! It's me, Moonstar, with yet another episode! I just started a couple of days ago, and I have 2 reviews, 1 private message, over a hundred visitors, and over three hundred hits! Love you guys! 3

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! ALL OF THIS IS COPYRIGHTED TO PENDLETON WARD AND CARTOON NETWORK, AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO MADE THE SERIES!

**CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE:**

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

The Ice Queen—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Lumpy Space Prince—is a gender-bender of LSP. Lumpy Space Prince is identical to Lumpy Space Princess only with a mustache and a darker shade of colors. He is most likely 15 years old.

Emerald Prince—is the prince of the Emerald Kingdom and one of the Ice Queen's targets. He is one of the few characters in the series to have a nose. He has light green skin. He wears a green coat with emerald buttons and dark green pants with light green shoes. He has a large emerald coming out of his head. His hair is dark green.

Ghost Princess—is the prince of the Ghost Kingdom/Graveyard. He has blue translucent skin and has a blue gem on his hovering crown. He is covered in a shaggy sheet like traditional ghosts.

Corndog Prince—is the prince of the Hot Dog Kingdom. He is Hot Dog Princess's gender-swap character. He is long with a golden-brown outside (probably bread), and has long ears like a cocker spaniel.

Raggedy Prince—is a prince of an unknown kingdom. He is made out of a worn-out material and resembles a tattered sock. His mouth is sown together, but is loose enough for speech. His right eye is a brown button, and his left eye is a small hole. Like Raggedy Princess, he has no arms. His left leg is covered with a black sock, and his right leg seems to be in a black stocking. He has light brown hair that stops just shy of his shoulders. He has a shard of glass on his head for a crown.

Slime Prince—is the prince of the Slime Kingdom. He resembles a blob of yellowish slime. He wears a crown much like Prince Gumball's. He also has two small stubs for arms, which may disappear when not being used.

Wildberry Prince—is the prince of the Wildberry Kingdom. He resembles a light blue blackberry. He has a green stem coming out of his head.

This episode is dedicated to DarkDreamer666, Daniel Lord, Bigslayerguyman, MissCharlotteAwesome, BetaGod8181, and CMR Rosa for sending me positive comments on my stories and being good friends!

**PRISONERS OF LOVE:**

Fionna and Cake laughed as they sledded down the snow of the Ice Kingdom, with their 'sled' being a rolling office chair.

They sped off one hill so quickly; they accidentally knocked the head off of a snow giantess, a female giant. It picked up a gigantic pile of snow and put it on as its new head (which was now more puppy-like.)

They flew in midair and crashed into the snow below, still laughing madly. Fiona fell on her back, while Cake crashed face-first into the snow.

"Oh no; our sled's broken," Fionna said, looking at their chair-sled, which was now broken in half. She began to bunch up some snow. "Hey! Let's build one out of snow!"

Cake began to enlarge in the snow, in which made Fionna back away asking, "What are you doing?"

"Sleds are for pansies," Cake replied. She crouched down. "Just get on my back."

"Okay!" Fionna hopped onto her best friend's back.

They glided down the snowy hill, past icy trees, and over an ice lord.

"Switch," Cake said after a while, beginning to shrink down to normal-size.

She and Fionna switched in midair, in which now Fionna was going down the hill and Cake was riding on her back.

They glided over more hills, rocks, and lords and giants, laughing all the way.

"_Switch! Switch!" _Fionna muffled when her body began to freeze an icy blue color.

Cake lifted up her friend and switched places with her again.

They ran past a few skulls, then they sped past a colony of penguins, in which they picked up a few. ("Penguins!")

They sped into an icy tunnel, dodging various spikes and stones, their laughter echoing off the walls.

They finally popped out of the other end, and the penguins wobbled away.

Fionna and Cake cheered as they flew in midair. "WAHOO!" "I'M A FLYING CAT!"

Meanwhile, just as the Ice Queen was shoveling some snow into a wheelbarrow, Cake and Fionna landed right in front of her, showering her in snow and making an enormous ditch in the ground.

"Mathematical!" Fionna muffled in the snow.

"_WHAT?" _Ice Queen yelled furiously, walking over to the ditch. "Who _dares _enter the Ice Kingdom?"

"Aw…" Fionna pouted. "Ice Queen's here."

"And do you know _why _I'm here?" Ice Queen shrieked. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT 'ICE QUEEN'_ MEANS_?"

"Yeah, I know what 'Ice Queen' means," Cake said, "A big wuss."

"_Oh!"_ Fionna high-fived Cake, "Holy cow!"

"It means I'm Queen of Ice!" Ice Queen told them. "This is my domain! And you're violating Ice-World law: _trespassing!_"

"Come on, sister," Cake rolled her eyes, "We're just trying to beat the heat!"

"Yeah," Fionna said, "There's a giant sleepy lava man in our front yard, and he is _so _hot!"

"Mm-Hm," Cake nudged her knowingly.

"No, no; I don't mean like he _looks _hot."

"No, you _do _mean he looks hot!"

"No! I mean—"

"_I DON'T CARE!" _Ice Queen yelled, "This is _my _kingdom! You guys can't just run about on my land, willy-nilly, I've got rules here!"

"Why don't you just try being cool?" Fionna asked her as she and Cake bult a very small snowman.

"_WHAT?" _Ice Queen shrieked, "I am the—I am the queen of c-c-coo—THAT'S IT!"

She lifted up her arms, and the snow twisted and molded into many snow-beings (which were kind of lame, actually.) She chanted, _"Rise, creatures of snow! And go, beat up Fionna and Cake!"_

"Uh-oh," Cake said as the snow-beings closed in on them.

Fionna scoffed at her friend. She ran from snow-being to snow-being, kicking them in the guts and punching off their heads and killing them as if it were as easy as breathing oxygen.

"WOO! GO FIONNA!" Cake cheered her on.

She felt a little bumping motion on her leg. She looked down to see a mouse-sized snow-being punching at her leg (which was really cute.) She picked it up and balled it into a snowball. She threw it at one snow-being, hitting it in the eyes. The snow being shrieked and thrashed about, taking the heads off of two other snow-beings. One of the dead snow-beings fell on another, crushing it.

Fionna and Cake cheered. "YEAH! AWESOME!" "THAT WAS GREAT!"

Ice Queen growled. "You guys are going to get it…!"

"Right, whatever," Cake and Fionna said together.

Ice Queen froze them in a block of ice.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen slugged up the icy path to her castle, breathing heavily and pushing Fionna and Cake, who were still frozen, in the wheelbarrow.<p>

She pulled to a stop at the top. "Ugh! I need a magic _back!_" she reached into her dress and pulled out a plastic bag of trail mix, with raisins, almonds, N&Ns, nuts, and chips, "Mm…trail mix…Ooh!" She picked up a chip, "You're a good chip!" She tossed it in her mouth. She put the bag back in her dress, wiped her forehead, and began pushing the wheelbarrow again. "Oh man…"

"I'm back home!" She called to a prison cell that was storing in some princes. There was the Emerald Prince, Wildberry Prince, Ghost Prince, Slime Prince, Raggedy Prince, Corndog Prince, and even LSP.

The princes murmured in fear. "Oh no." "She's back."

"Now, now," Ice Queen said, unlocking the cell, "I brought you a baby and a kitty!"

She threw the block of ice imprisoning Fionna and Cake and threw it into the cell. The block of ice shattered into a million pieces and Fionna and Cake fell on the floor.

"Fionna! Are you okay?" Wildberry Prince asked her worriedly.

"Huh?" Fionna looked around. "Wildberry Prince? Corndog Prince? What's going on?"

"We're all prisoners," Slime Prince answered sadly.

"Ice Queen!" Fionna snarled at her.

"What?"

"Why are you keeping these guys prisoners, ya idiot?" Fionna demanded.

"You don't understand!" Ice Queen said, "I collect princes because I want to marry one."

"Well why'd you capture six of them if you only want to marry one?" Cake said, sitting between Slime Prince and Corndog Prince.

"I'm collecting them all first to make sure I'm making the right choice," Ice Queen answered, "You're both too young to understand, but marriage is a serious thing and lasts forever. You can't just rush into it, ya know?"

"Ice Queen," Fionna told her, "Don't do this. Just let the guys go. They don't want to be here!"

"Of course they do!" Ice Queen said. "I would have killed them already if they didn't want to be here. Right guys?" She zapped her fingers for a warning.

The princes nodded feebly.

"Don't worry, princes," Fionna told the princes, "I pledge that Cake and I will protect each and every one of you. And furthermore, I'll make sure you're happily married to whatever sweet thing ya'll want to be married to!"

"Yay," Slime Prince said.

The Ice Queen growled.

"Rad," Fionna said. She took off her backpack and reached into it, "All I need is something to spear the Ice Queen with." She rummaged around. "Binoculars, toothbrush, rope, sweater…trail mix…my flute!" She took out a poor wooden flute that was taped together. She played a short melody on it and threw it at the Ice Queen.

It broke to pieces before it even hit her.

"_My flute!"_

"Aw, nuts, girl," Cake said, "You broke it when you tried picking the lock to that sad ogress's heart."

"Darn it!"

Ice Queen laughed hysterically and did a funny dance. "Nice try, girl. Princes, did you see? Did you see Fionna _fail_?"

"Don't worry, Fionna," Cake told her friend, "I'll get us out of here, with…_key hand_!" She molded her hand into a key-shape.

"Oh no you won't," Ice Queen said and Shot a beam at her.

Fionna and the princes jumped out of the way. The beam hit Cake, freezing her in a bloke of ice with only her head poking out.

"_CAKE!"_

"I…I'm okay…" Cake muffled from inside the block of ice.

"ICE QUEEN!" Fionna turned scarlet in the face, "YOU NEED TO EITHER SET US FREE, OR COME IN HERE AND FIGHT ME! BECAUSE OTHERWISE, I'M GOING TO FLIP _OUT!_"

She punched, kicked, and thrashed at Ice Queen through the bars.

"Ooh, are you trying to hit me?" Ice Queen said tautly, "Well, excuse me, because I have to go potty in the bathroom."

"_ICE QUEEN!" _Fionna wailed at her as she left.

"Fionna!"

"Huh?" Fionna turned around calmly, "Cake! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, girl," Cake told her in the ice block, "Calm down and tend to the princes."

"Oh my Glob," Fionna said, "I'm sorry, princes."

She walked up to Slime Prince. "Slime Prince! Are you alright?"

"She's held us here for weeks," He said sadly as Hot Dog Prince lied down and Emerald Prince drew a tally-mark on the wall, "Questioning us about our favorite sports and behavior. We tried to tell her as little as possible."

"I understand," Fionna whispered solemnly. "And Lumpy Space Prince, how do you fair?"

"I'm bored," He said. "And I'm not having any fun."

"_WHAT?"_

They turned around to see that Ice Queen had come bad, looking depressed.

"Not having any fun?" She held up a childish book. "Last night I read you the story of _Baby Whatsit and the Tuttle Prince_!"

"That wasn't fun," LSP said. "That was lame."

"Other princes, do you feel the same way?"

The other princes murmured in agreement.

"Well here, I'll show you," Ice Queen said. "We'll have some fun. Fun is my middle name."

She walked over to a record scratcher and played a short tune on it. Then she pushed the record scratcher in front of the bars. "Here, Wildberry Prince, I need you to play this."

"I don't know how," Wildberry Prince said shyly.

"Well come here, I'll teach you," Ice Queen beckoned him over. "Put your hands through the bars." He did so. "Adda prince, and…" She took his hands and pushed them along the scratcher.

"I don't think I can…" Wildberry Prince said.

"Just play it like I showed you."

"Leave him alone, Ice Queen!" Fionna yelled.

"_PLAY IT OR I'LL SQUISH YOU INTO JUICE!" _Ice Queen shrieked at Wildberry Prince, igniting her hands.

"Oh dear…" Wildberry Prince played feebly on the scratcher through the bars.

"Yeah! Keep playing it!" Ice Queen told him. She put some more instruments through the cell. "Now everyone pick up an instrument and play it. This is going to be so fun!"

She walked over to a red electric guitar and picked it up.

Fionna growled as she began to play randomly. Fionna looked at the princes as they played awkwardly with their instruments. She looked at Wildberry Prince, who was playing feebly on the record scratcher. She thought hard.

"What are you thinking, Fionna?" Cake asked her through the block of ice.

"I've almost devised a plan," Fionna answered, "I'm going to let her drop while I finalize the details in my mind."

"Sweet."

Ice Queen played faster and randomly until she was at lightning speed. The electric guitar exploded. She laughed more, sweating like crazy. "Ooh, that was FUN!"

Fionna thought one more moment, and her face lit with realization. "It WAS fun," She told Ice Queen, "Hey, you should go get some more fun stuff!"

"You're right! " Ice Queen beamed. "Good idea, Fionna!"

"Good idea indeed," Fionna said slowly, smirking.

Ice Queen walked out of the room, muttering, "I hope they think I'm fun…"

Fionna's face turned serious and she turned to the others. "Alright, I've got a plan on how to get out of here. First, everyone needs to be dancing and laughing and saying fun things like, 'Whoopee!' 'Kay? And when the Ice Queen comes back, everyone play it up, like we want her to come into the cell and party with us. And when she walks inside, WAM! I'm going to beat the tar out of her with these," She held up her fists. "While you guys take care of Cake. Is everyone onboard with this?"

The princes murmured in agreement and nodded.

"Sweet!" Cake said again through the ice, "Nice plan, girl!"

"I think if everyone's saying 'whoopee', then the plan won't work, because she'll know we're faking it," LSP interrupted.

"Good point, LSP," Fionna snapped her fingers.

"I'm going to say something fun," LSP said, "Like, 'Oh yeah, I'm having a fun time! Oh my Glob, probably the best time I've ever had in my entire life!'"

"Make way for the Fin Tray," Ice Queen said, bringing in a tray of figurines, straws, and rubber balls. She heard commotion going on in the cell. "Whoa! What's happening?"

Everyone in the cell was dancing and laughing and talking (except for Cake, who was smiling widely) and LSP replied, "This is probably the best time I've ever had in my entire life!"

"Best fun in the world!" "So good!" Cake and Fionna agreed.

"What is this?" Ice Queen questioned.

"We're having fun!" Fionna answered, beaming and continuing to dance.

Ice Queen sniffed sadly. "Because I left the room?"

"Because they like it here!" Cake told her. "Because they like you! Because you're a really fun girl!"

"I don't get this…" Ice Queen said, furrowing her brows curiously.

"_She's not buying it," _Fionna whispered to the others. _"Dance harder!"_

They laughed, danced, and talked much faster than before.

"Come on in here and party!" LSP told Ice Queen, winking.

"Want to dance with us, Ice Queen?" Fionna plastered on a smile. "Come on!"

"Really?" Ice Queen smiled in disbelief. "You want to dance with _me_?"

They all cheered and nodded.

"_Wow!" _Ice Queen beamed and dropped the tray, "Okay!"

She opened the door to the cell, saying, "Yes! Whoopee!"

Fionna kicked her across the face as the others ran for the exit, dragging along Cake.

"What? NO! DON'T LEAVE!" Ice Queen cried, zapping a beam at Emerald Prince. He dodged it, and it froze the door to the cell. "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

Fionna gave her a slap on the face.

"Why are you doing this?" Ice Queen yelled at her. "Everyone finally warming up to me!"

"No!" Fionna told her. "That is _not_ the case! You are NUTS, girl! And I don't know _how _to help you! Probably because I'm just a simple gal! But maybe you should talk t someone with more life experience, like Cake!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fionna, what are you doing?" Cake told her as the princes chipped off chunks of ice form the block that was imprisoning her. "Don't dump the Ice Queen on me!"

"But you've got to get it in you're head, girl!" Fionna went on. "Putting princes in jail is _wrong_!"

Ice Queen yelled in fury and pushed her off. "FIONNA! YOU JUST RUINED MY CHANCES WITH FIVE OR SIX POTENTIAL HUSBANDS! FOR THAT, YOU WILL—!"

Fionna punched her stomach. "Ooh!" Ice Queen groaned. "Oh, my hernia!"

Fionna kicked her across the face, sending her into the bars of the cell. Her tiara fell off, and her world went black.

_**Why do people not like me? **__Ice Queen thought, soaring through the golden tunnel. __**Is it because I'm a magic-user? Or, is my hair TOO shaggy? *sighs* I try so hard to be a good wife for guys. What's wrong with me?**_

_She was almost blinded by a golden light. She looked ahead and saw the Cosmic Hawk._

_He cawed, "You're a sociopath."_

"_Who are you?" Ice Queen demanded she grinned. "I know! You're probably a BIIIIIIG nerd! Ha-ha! Why don't you try being COOL, like me?"_

_Laughing hysterically, she soared around the Cosmic Hawk. "Oh, this space-dust is so ticklish."_

"Huh? What happened?" She woke up to see a small group of penguins patting her. "Princes?" They were all alone in her room. She cried in fury.

* * *

><p>The princes, Cake, and Fionna cheered as they all rode of Cake's humongous back through the Ice Kingdom under the starry sky.<p>

"Thanks you fore saving us, Fionna," Slime Prince told her.

"You're welcome, Slime Prince," Fionna smiled, picking him up.

"You remember when you vowed to marry us to the thing of our choosing?" Slime Prince blushed.

"Yes…?" Fionna furrowed her brows.

"Well," Slime Prince said, "I'd like to marry you."

Cake and the princes all gave an exaggerated, _"!"_

"Oh…" Fionna stuttered. "Uh…about that…_Cake, help me_!"

"Oh. Uh…" Cake said. "Slime Prince, you shouldn't marry Fionna. She pukes constantly. All the time."

"_Ewwww…" _The princes chorused.

"Oh, gross!" Slime Prince said, "Put me down! _Put me down!_"

"I'm sorry." Fionna set him down, laughing nervously. _"Cake…_" She growled.

Cake laughed.

**TRIVIA:**

· At one point, Cake and Ice Queen say that there are six princesses, when there are actually seven. This may be because Ghost Prince might be invisible.

· The Slug is seen waving next to Slime Prince when he says "Yay".

· While in the original episode, the Ice King forces Wildberry Princess to play a keyboard, but the Ice Queen forces Wildberry Prince to play a record scratcher.

· In the original episode, the Ice King plays the drums, but the Ice Queen plays a red electric guitar.


	4. TreeTrunks!

'Sup, ya'll!

This is Moonstar coming at you with another episode of Fionna and Cake, featuring the first appearance of Tree Trunks! I have noticed that there are about 3 other people who have started making their own gender-bent series. This saddens me, but I won't say anything about it! XD! ALL OF IT IS COPYRIGHTED!

CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE:

Tree-Trunks—the male version of Tree Trunks is seen with a gray mustache and a green, see-through visor. He also has a few wrinkles on his trunk. This may imply that he is also old, like his female counterpart. He also wears a bright blue ribbon on his tail. He has thicker eyebrows than Tree Trunks. Like how Tree Trunks loves apples, he loves peaches. He is kind-hearted.

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Wall of Flesh—The Wall of flesh is a gooey substance that can form itself into a wall. It has two eyes. One is next to its mouth, while the other is on the part of the creature that is on the ground. It also has one mouth. It is peach colored.

Diamond Guardian—the diamond guardian is a person made out of diamonds and can shape into any person or thing. It guards the Golden Diamond Peach.

Diamond lizard—is a monstrous creature that lives in the Wicked Evil Jungle. It has transparent blue skin that allows anyone to look at its organs and insides. Its weak spot is in its brain and hitting it will instantly kill the beast.

Evil Vine Beings—are creatures made of vines that live in the Wicked Evil Jungle. They are all made of dark green vines tangled together in the form of a body with eyes and mouths coming out.

Undead bees—are a type of bug/creature that live in the Wicked Evil Jungle. Although they appear evil, they are actually kind-hearted and harmless. They appear as black-and-white skeleton bees with stringy wings.

**TREE-TRUNKS**

A small, blue caterpillar crawled up to a large plump peach and opened its mouth wide**―**

A ruby sword split the peach in two. The caterpillar screamed.

Cake and Fionna cheered, waving their swords around, standing in front of two piles of peaches, one with freshly-picked ones and another with cut ones.

"Oh, girls and their swords," Tree-Trunks sighed from inside his hose. "You girls, stop horsing around with my peaches!"

"Aw, Tree-Trunks…" Fionna and Cake pouted.

"Now, come on over!" Tree-Trunks told them, "I baked ya'll a peach cobbler!"

Fionna and Cake cheered.

"I'm going to eat it all before you even _get _there!" Fionna told Cake, running to Tree-Trunks' house.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _Cake cried.

"Peach cobbler!" Fionna cheered, coming into the house as Tree-Trunks set the cobbler on the table.

"Don't let her eat all of it!" Cake whined, trying to get past her.

Tree-Trunks chuckled. "You girls behave yourselves and sit down."

A small fly landed on the cobbler.

Tree-Trunks gasped. "Shoo, fly! Get off my cobbler! A fly landed on my cobbler. That's no good."

He walked over to a trash bin and tossed the cobbler in it. "Good riddens."

"Why are you throwing the cobbler away?!" Fionna cried.

A swarm of flies landed on the dirty cobbler. Cake and Fionna screwed their faces in disgust.

"Flies wanted it, _they can have it._" Tree-Trunks said dramatically.

Cheerfully, he walked over to the oven and said, "Anyways, don't ya'll worry, because a new cobbler's coming in the wag of a bunny's tail."

"New cobbler?!" Fionna and Cake exclaimed. They cheered and sat down at the small table.

"Here you are," Tree-Trunks said, setting the cobbler down on the table.

"_Whoa." _Fionna gawked at the sight of the cobbler.

"Come on," Tree-Trunks said, "Dig in."

Cake and Fionna took two pieces of the cobbler and stuffed it in their mouths.

"What 'cha think?" Tree-Trunks smiled.

"Besth peath cobber ever!" Cake said through her stuffed face as Fionna took another piece.

"Oh Cake," Tree-Trunks sighed, "Thank you. But that isn't the best peach cobbler."

"What are you talking about, Tree-Trunks?" Fionna asked, taking another piece. "What can be better than your peach cobbler?"

"You ate all the cobbler…" Cake sighed, looking into the empty pan. She began to lick away the remains.

"Fionna," Tree-Trunks said slowly, "What would you do if you could do anything?"

"Anything?" Fionna repeated. "Well, I'd catch a comet and ride it into space to fight aliens!"

"I'd carve my face into the sun so the sun would like my face," Cake said.

"What would you do, Tree-Trunks?" Fionna asked him.

"I would go pick…_a peach._"

There was a small silence.

"…"

"…Lame." Fionna said.

Cake slapped her arm.

"I'm sorry," Fionna said quickly, "I-I mean, it's just that you pick peaches every day!"

"This peach ain't like the kind of peaches I pick," Tree-Trunks said dramatically. "They say it's the _peach _of _peaches._"Cake took a sip of coffee. "The rarest kind of all. Legends call it _The Golden Diamond Peach._"

Cake spat her drink in Fionna's face. "THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!"

"Where is it?!" Fionna demanded.

"I heard that it grows in the deepest end in the Wicked Evil Jungle."

Fionna whooped. "Tree-Trunks, you've _got _to go pick that peach!"

"Yeah!" Cake agreed.

"What, _me_?" Tree-Trunks exclaimed. "Oh no, I'm just a little elephant. I'm not cut out for adventuring."

"Tree-Trunks!" Fionna cried. "This is your _dream! _Think about eating that peach _with your own mouth!_"

"Or your trunk!" Cake agreed.

"Imagine the _flavor._"

"And your satisfied face!"

"Really?" Tree-Trunks smiled. "You think I can handle the Wicked Evil Jungle?"

"Yeah!" Fionna said, "And we'll help you!"

"We love you, Tree-Trunks!" Cake gave him a small hug.

"OK, I'll do it." Tree-Trunks said. "Call me, Adventurer Tree-Trunks!"

"I love being so high up!" Tree-Trunks said, riding on Fionna's shoulders through the Wicked Evil Jungle.

"I can take you even higher on my shoulders, Tree-Trunks!" Cake said, demonstrating by stretching taller than Fionna.

"_No, Cake," _Fionna told her, _"He has a weak heart."_

"Oh, yeah."

They walked on for another minute until Fionna and Cake came to a stop. They looked down at the sticky, gum-like flesh-colored stuff they were standing in.

"Ew," Fionna said, "Why is the ground all squishy?"

"Whatever it is, I'm liking it," Cake said, sitting down in the stuff.

"I wanna try!" Tree-Trunks said.

"Okay," Fionna took him off of her head, "I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want."

Tree-Trunks laughed. "It's like some kind of cookie dough."

A large green eye came out of the stuff. It growled.

Tree-Trunks turned around. "Oh. Hello."

"Huh?" Fionna and Cake turned around. "Uh, Tree-Trunks, stay away from that."

They both turned around and yelped when they saw that the stuff has formed a wall over them, with sprouting arms and eyes.

One arm punched them in their stomachs and sent them collapsing to the ground.

"You're going to get it, wall of…sticky…whatever-you-are!" Fionna said, punching and kicking the wall to no avail.

"An eye," Tree-Trunks said. He looked at a pair of pointy teeth. "And a mouth! Well, I think I got the perfect them for him-or-her." He reached into his basket. "Stickers!"

The wall stared at him wildly.

"Be careful, Tree-Trunks!" Fionna told him, "This wall is evil!"

"Here's a princess sticker," Tree-Trunks said, posting the brunette sticker onto the monster. "And here's a scratch-and-sniff sticker, smells just like a cucumber! Oh! And this one's a holographic duck one! Only it has a beaver tail…Hm…"

The wall grabbed him. "Oh, what are you doing?"

Fionna turned around and gasped. "Huh? TREE-TRUNKS!"

The monster opened its car-sized mouth.

Fionna withdrew her ruby sword. She ran to the wall, jumped, and sliced off the arm that was holding Tree-Trunks.

The wall screeched and took captivity in a tree. "You'd better stay in that tree!"

"Tree-Trunks," Fionna turned to the elephant, "Were you putting _stickers _on that evil monsters?"

"Yes." Tree-Trunks said. "I thought it needed some tender love and affection."

A bony, bee-like bug came up to him. "Ooh! What a pretty bumble bee!"

"Tree-Trunks?" Fionna called out to him as he followed the bee. She slapped her forehead. "Cake, I just realized that Tree-Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through that Wicked Evil Jungle."

"Ah, he'll be fine." Cake told her. "Everything's fine."

"But the monsters!"

"It's fine, it's fine!"

"Are you sure? Cos he has zero adventurer training!"

"Yeahyeahyeahit'sfinehe'llbefineit'sfineit'sfineit 'sfine!"

"Maybe it is fine," Fionna chuckled. She turned around. "Tree-Trunks? TRE-TRUNKS!"

As Cake and Fionna continued to call their friend's name, Tree-Trunks was following the bee deeper into the forest. Some vine-covered trees he walked past started to shake. The vines slithered off and began to form various, monstrous beings. They followed him.

"We've got to find him, Cake!" Fionna told Cake.

Cake hopped onto her back and Fionna began to run deeper into the jungle, both of them calling his name. "TREE-TRUNKS!" "TREE-TRUNKS!"

"And here's your mug, and here's my mug," Tree-Trunks said, setting out a small picnic.

"TREE-TRUNKS?!" Fionna and Cake called. "GASP!"

They saw the vine-beings closing in on him.

"And here's your biscuit," Tree-Trunks said, handing one of the vine-beings a biscuit.

It slapped it down.

"Oops, you dropped it!"

"TREE-TRUNKS!" Fionna cried. _"RUN!"_

"Oh, hey Fionna." Tree-Trunks said.

The vine-beings turned to Fionna and Cake angrily.

Cake jumped off of her friend's back and Fionna drew her sword again, saying, "Time to call your daddies, evil vine-people!" She ran with her sword up high.

Fionna sliced one vine person down the middle. Cake cut one in half by using her legs like scissors. Fionna took on two more, cutting their heads off.

"Patience, now," Tree-Trunks told the vine-people as they closed in on him, "There's enough coffee for everyone."

Fionna pushed her way through the vine-people and grabbed onto Tree-Trunks, crying, "NO!"

"Oh, what a nice hug," Tree-Trunks said as the vine people scratched Fionna's face twice.

"I'm not hugging you! OW!" Fionna told him as they continued to scratch and punch her. "I'm trying to-OUCH-SAVE YOUR LIFE! THERE'S TOO MANY!"

"Fionna?" Cake said. She crushed another vine-person angrily.

Cake pushed through the crowd. She put Tree-Trunks and Fionna under her and swelled up, sending the vine-people flying.

Cake rolled through the trees and opened like a blanket, setting Fionna and Tree-Trunks free.

"Oh Fionna," Tree-Trunks said, "That tea party was crummier that a day-old cookie."

Fionna groaned in pain. Her eyes was swollen and purple, her face was badly cut, and her cheek was puffy. "Tree-Trunks, I'm all jacked up because of you! Look at my jacked-up face!"

"Are mad at me?" Tree-Trunks asked, his eyes shining with tears.

"No," Fionna sighed, "I'm not mad at you. You're too super-cute for me to be mad at you." She picked him up and hugged him. "And you're a top-notch adventurer. Now, let's go find and eat the life out of that Golden Diamond Peach together."

Out of nowhere, a lizard-like monster with shiny eyes and transparent blue skin came out of the trees.

"DANG IT!" Fionna said.

"You go fight," Cake said, taking Tree-Trunks from her friend's arms. "I'mm keep Tree-Trunks out of trouble."

"Awesome." Fionna drew her sword once again and charged to the lizard.

"Uh, Cake," Tree-Trunks said, "I think Fionna's getting jacked-up again…"

"Yeah. Fionna can handle it. She's 13."

"I think I know a way to help her out."

"Uh…You should stay here, Tree-Trunks."

"But Fionna said I was a top-notch adventurer!" Tree-Trunks said promptly. "And y adventurous instincts are telling me to trick that lizard with my charms and intelligence."

"Uh, no way!"

The lizard suddenly stopped fighting as Fionna drew up on it. She stopped.

She looked to the front of the lizard to see that Tree-Trunks had se up a game of chess.

"Huh? What are you doing here Tree-Trunks?" Fionna asked. The lizard's tail swatted her.

"I'm helping you beat this man with my intelligence." Tree-Trunks answered, moving his king.

"It's not a man!" Fionna said, trying to cut away the vine-like things that were sprouting from the lizard and were swatting at her. "IT'S A LIZARD, MONSTER, RUBY-BRAINED THING!"

"Even monster lizards get lonely, Fionna."

"CAKE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH HIM!"

"Sorry. He overpowered me." Cake said, her face stuffed with peach cobbler.

"GET HIM OUT OF HERE!"

"Huh?" Cake turned around. "Uh-oh."

She ran up to the monster and kept it's mouth shut as it wriggled and squirmed, knocking over the chess game. "FIONNA! KILL IT!"

"I can't find it's magic-diamond weak spot…" Fionna said.

She saw a green diamond shining through the lizard's transparent skin, exactly where it's brain would be. "Oh! There it is!"

She struck her sword in the diamond, and the lizard disappearing into thin air.

"I did it!" Tree-Trunks said, "I helped! I'm the smartest adventurer in the world!"

"Tree-Trunks!" Fionna said, "You're _not_ an adventurer! You nearly got yourself killed _again! _DO YOU WANT TO DIE, TREE-TRUNKS?! IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK ADVENTURERS DO?! _DIE AND MAKE ALL THEIR FRIENDS FEEL TERRIBLE THAT THEY COULDN'T SAVE YOU?!"_

Tree-Trunks' eyes began to overflow with tears.

"Whoa, girl," Cake said to Fionna, frowning.

"I-I'm going home now," Tree-Trunks whimpered, walking away.

"Tree-Trunks…" Fionna sighed. "TREE-TRUNKS!"

"Don't follow me!"

"Oh, Fionna," Tree-Trunks sighed, walking through the jungle. "You shouldn't yell at people who just want to help you."

He gasped.

"Man," Fionna sighed as Cake balanced her ruby sword on her muzzle. "I was only yelling at him because I care about his safety."

"That's what happens when you care too much, girl," Cake replied.

They heard Tree-Trunks yelp.

"Tree-Trunks!" Fionna and Cake said, following the voice. They gasped.

"Fionna," Tree-Trunks said, "I found the Golden Diamond Peach!"

He was standing in front of a diamond tree with ruby sparkles dotting it. It was no wonder how the Golden Diamond Peach got its name: The peach had the texture of a diamond, but was as shiny and beautiful as gold.

Fionna and Cake cheered and ran up to Tree-Trunks. "Yeah!" "Wahoo!"

"Tree-Trunks," Fionna said sadly, "I'm a huge butt-girl for getting mad at you. I'm a huge fart. I was only upset because I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"That precious, Fionna," Tree-Trunks said, "And I'll accept your apology if you let me kiss your cheek."

"Uh…" Fionna flushed red. "I-I don't know, I…"

"Whoa, girl," Cake said, "Let him kiss your cheek. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"_Whoa, girl. Let him kiss your cheek."_

Fionna and Cake turned to see two conjoined diamond-clones of themselves staggering towards them.

"_I don't know." _The diamond Fionna said in a watery voice.

"A diamond guardian!" Fionna said. "Tree-Trunks, _stay out _of the monster battle this time. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Alright," Tree-Trunks said sadly, "I promise I will."

"Radical." Fionna said. She turned to the diamond guardian. "Back off, you!"

"_Back off, you!" _The Diamond Fionna said.

"Stop copying me!" Fionna yelled, running towards it with a fist.

"_Stop copying me!" _Diamond Fiona yelled, running toward her with a fist.

Their fists collided with a THUNK.

Fionna whimpered. She drew back her hand, which was pulsing red with pain. "OW!"

"Fionna!" Cake said.

She stretched towards the guardian angrily. Crystal Cake copied, and their heads collided.

"Ow…" Cake whimpered, rubbing her head.

"It's copying everything we do!" Fionna said.

Tree-Trunks was playing with some toadstools when the same bony bee as before came up to her, playing a tiny saxophone. "Hey! It's my bumble bee friend! That's precious!" He began to lightly dance to the music the bee played. Soon, other bees came playing more instruments.

Fionna and Cake watched as the bees buzzed around her, playing musical devices.

"Woo!" Cake said, "Shake it, Tree-Trunks!"

"_Woo!" _Diamond Cake said, _"Shake it, Tree-Trunks!"_

The guardian turned into Diamond Tree-Trunks, dancing as Diamond bees swarmed around her.

"Jam-clam!" Fionna cheered. "Let's beat it up while it's copying Tree-Trunks!"

But as they ran to Diamond Tree-Trunks, Diamond Fionna and Cake sprang out of her and punched them away.

"Dang," Cake said, "This is barf, Fionna."

Fionna looked at the real dancing Tree-Trunks, then at Diamond Fionna, Cake, and Tree-Trunks. "Oh man. I'm a total moron. We got to fight this one Tree-Trunks style."

"With our wit and intelligence?"

"Yup."

Fionna sat on Cake as the Diamond guardian copied their every move. The real Cake grabbed Tree-Trunks and stretched to the Golden Diamond Peach, and Diamond Cake followed.

"Hey, Diamond Guardian!" Fionna said to it, "Are you okay with Tree-Trunks taking a bite of that peach?"

"I'm okay with it," Cake said.

"_I'm okay with it."_

"And I'm stupid."

"_And I'm stupid."_

"You heard the guardian, T.T.," Cake told Tree-Trunks, stretching him to the peach. "Eat that peach!"

"Okay!"

He took a bit, juicy bite out of it.

"Woo!" Fionna said. "How does it taste, Tree-Trunks?"

"Yeah, how is it?" Cake asked eagerly.

Tree-Trunks froze.

He exploded.

Fionna gaped. She looked at Cake, who gaped at her. They both looked at the diamond guardian, who gawked back at them.

FACTS:

· When Cake stares at the camera, her eyes are wider than usual.

· At the beginning, Cake is shown to have an iron-gray sword with a strip of gold running along the middle and an eye on the handle.

· This is the first episode to be named after a character.

· In the original episode, the three of them go after the Crystal Gem Apple, but in this, they go after the Golden Diamond Peach.

· In the original episode, they go into the Evil Dark Forest, but in this, they enter the Wicked Evil Jungle.

Please leave a review! (Especially you, DarkDreamer!) XD


	5. The Enchiridion!

Sup, ya'll!

This is Moonstar coming at you with another episode of Fionna and Cake! I hope ya'll like it!

CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE:

Prince Gumball: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Ki—is the keeper to the gate of Pt. Stagent. She is very short and slightly tubby with yellow skin. She wears a cardinal-colored gown and small key-shaped necklace. She also wears a key-shaped hat on her head. For her pajamas, she wears a long black cloak and a hood.

Womanish-Woman the Werecat—is a female Werecat and keeper of the legendary Enchiridion. Although she would be expected to be evil and selfish, she is actually kind and energetic. She is also Ki's best friend. She has dark plum fur and a long lavender-colored braid running down her back. Her ears are studded with piercings. She also has a tail that is studded with metal clippings. She has short, sharp claws and fuchsia-colored eyes. She wears a furry bronze shirt and a short, furry, ochre-colored skirt. She also wears a leather lion-colored belt around her waist with a silver dagger and studs of metal along it. She wears knee-high leather sienna-colored boots with metal studs along the sides and her nails sticking out of them.

The Enchiridion

"Candy party!" Fionna cheered, dancing with practically all of the other Candy citizens in the Candy Kingdom alongside Cake.

"Cake," Fionna said over the bouncy music, "This party is SO awesome!"

"I know, girl, I know!" Cake agreed, wiggling her arms and dancing.

"So Fionna," A pink gumdrop boy said to Fionna.

"Oh my goodness," His blue gumdrop friend gasped, "I can't believe you just said that!"

"Ok, ok…" Cinnamon Bun said slowly. "I'm going to do it. Okay, okay. Everyone!" Everyone stopped dancing to watch her. "Watch! I'm going to do a flip!"

She attempted one, but only fell backwards and hit a tower. Everyone laughed, unaware that the crack that had formed in the wall was crawling up the tower.

Prince Gumball, who was dancing above the people in the tower, began to scream as the crack came to the top of the tower, causing it to crumble.

"PRINCE GUMBALL'S IN TROUBLE!" Fionna yelled, catching sight of Prince Gumball as he fell.

She ran through the people, knocking into a donut, and caused everyone to become aware of Prince Gumball, too.

Fionna leapt into the air and caught him just a few feet above the ground.

There was a panicked murmur in the gigantic crowd of the citizens.

"Please," Prince Gumball told them, adjusting his crown, "Calm yourselves, people! I am safe!"

Everyone sighed in relief.

"Thanks a lot, Fionna," Prince Gumball said, patting Fionna on the head. "You truly are my hero this day."

"Cool."

"Hero…" Prince Gumball thought. "Hm…He-ro…Hey, I just thought of something!" He got up from the ground and walked away.

"Uh…" Fionna said, "What'd you think of?"

"I'll show you, come on." Prince Gumball said, stopping in front of a castle wall. "We'll go through my secret entrance. All right, everyone, turn around."

No one did.

"Well, turn around!" Prince Gumball said, "This entrance is _secret_!"

"Oh." Everyone chorused, turning around.

Prince Gumball took a large brick out of the wall. "Hurry, Fionna!" He stepped through the hole in the wall.

"No way!" Fionna said, hopping in and putting the block back in place.

* * *

><p>"Here it is," Prince Gumball told Fionna at the top of the tower, "Check it out." He brought out a blue orb from a chest.<p>

"A magical globe?"

"No, Fionna, it's what you can SEE through the globe," Prince Gumball said, handing her the orb as it showed a picture of a solid gold book.

"Golly!"

Prince Gumball chuckled. "Look. See this book?"

"Yeah, I see it!"

"It's called the Enchiridion. It's a book made only for heroes whose hearts are righteous."

"Shmow-Zow!"

"The book lies at the top of Pt. Stagent guarder by a Womanly Werecat. It's waiting for a truly righteous hero to claim it!"

"Do you think I got the goods for this, Gumball?" Fionna asked, pounding the floor eagerly. "Cos I am _into—this—stuff_!"

"Yeah, I know!" Prince Gumball said. "And yes I do!"

"THEN OFF I GO!" Fionna yelled, leaping out of the window.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" She screamed as she fell from the tower.

"Huh?" Cake turned around from Lord Monochromicorn. She got on all fours and stretched just in time to get Fionna on her back.

"Thanks, gal," Fionna said.

"Farewell, Fionna the Human Girl!" Prince Gumball said.

"Goodbye, Prince Gumball!" Fionna called. She looked at Cake. "You know what time it is?"

"ADVENTURE TIME?" Cake said, fist-bumping her.

"Yeah, girl!"

* * *

><p>"Greetings, young heroes-to-be," A small woman in blue robes and a key-shaped hat greeted them at the gate of Pt. Stagent, "This is the gate of Pt. Stagent, its purpose is twofold: to protect the Enchiridion and to test the hearts of those who seek to possess it. Many noble travelers have attempted to enter it and face the brooding trials behind these walls, but no one has come out alive OR dead! Only the truest and most worthy heroes can get the Enchiridion and walk out of these doors again! If it is you, friends, and I cannot say I am certain, but you are very welcome to try! But first, you must pass my riddle! My name is Ki, because I am the key to this door! But all is not as it appears, you see, but some cannot see at all! Perhaps the key is in you, child, but you can only use your mind here. The door is magically sealed—"<p>

Fionna picked her up and stuck her in the lock.

"You have unlocked the riddle to the door!" Ki said as the gigantic door swung open. "Brilliantly done!"

Cake and Fionna high-fived.

"Please," Ki said, "Reveal to me how you unveiled my clue."

"I just thought you looked cute stuck in that lock." Fionna said, setting her down and walking through the door with Cake.

"Oh yes. That's how most people get in…" Ki said to herself.

"Bye!" Fionna called, walking down the path.

"You have passed the first trail, young heroes!" Ki called to them. "But prepare yourselves." She said softly, "For there are many trials ahead of you! _And each trial is more torturous than the last…_"

* * *

><p>As they continued down the dirt path, Cake held up her ear to the air. "The Enchiridion is…That way."<p>

"What?" Fionna said. "Girl, you can't hear the book! Especially not from here!"

"It's in the castle on top of the mountain point." Cake said promptly. She held up her ear again. "…In a room. Wish you had cat-ears like mine, eh?"

"AH! HELP!" Someone screamed.

"This way," Fionna said, running through the trees.

"What about the book?" Cake called, running after her.

"It can wait! Someone needs our help!"

They came to a clearing. They hopped over one last large log, and Fionna landed on her face.

"Hey, Fionna, are you alright?" Cake asked her, holding Fionna's head, "Did you get brain damage?"

"I'm fine! Keep going! We have to hurry!"

They stopped when they saw three pixies, screaming in a pot of fiery lava.

"I got 'cha," Fionna told them calmly, scooping them up.

"Thank you for saving us," A red pixie said sweetly. They all flew out of her arms. "NOW WE CAN DESTROY THIS OLD GUY!"

They flew over to an old guy tied to a tree.

"La, la, la…" The man said.

"What?" Fionna exclaimed.

The pixies threw lightning bolts at the man, and he exploded with a POP!

"Every time you say 'what?', we'll destroy an old guy!" The red one said again.

"_What?"_ Fionna yelled.

"What a wonderful day…" Another old man said.

POP!

"Every time you say 'no', we'll destroy an old guy!"

"No—!"

POP! POP! POP!

"_Please_—!"

POP!

"Don't destroy—"

POP!

"Any more—"

POP!

"Old men."

"Every time you look sad, we'll destroy a big old guy," The red pixie said again.

"Hello." A rather large old man said.

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

Fionna ran away.

"Hey, girls," The red pixie said. "Every time she's a wuss, let's destroy an old guy!"

They all snorted with laughter.

Cake watched as Fionna ran off. She turned to the pixies angrily, "Hey, back off, you evil pixies! That gal just saved you! You should thank her, not destroy old men! Do you even know what I'm talking about? Say thank you!"

The pixies stared at her.

"_Say—thank—you."_

"Kill her!" The red pixie said, and the yellow one shot a laser at Cake.

Cake dodged it and grabbed them all in her hands. She put them back into the lava. "Get back in there!"

She walked away from them as they cried angrily.

* * *

><p>"Hey Fionna," Cake walked up to her friend, who was sitting on a rock sadly on the shore of a river. "You okay?"<p>

"No way, gal. Those old guys were destroyed because of me," Fionna said. "I'm not righteous. I'm wrongteous. Stupideous." She skidded a rock along the water.

"Aw, don't let those pixies and their illusions get you down," Cake told her. "They're just pixies and illusions."

"Illusions?"

"Yeah, gal," Cake said, "Think: Why would some old guys be hanging around Pt. Stagent?"

"I dunno," Fionna shrugged, "Maybe they were lost?"

"Naw," Cake said, "This mountain is specially designed to mess you up. To mess with your head. None of this is real! It's all just trials to test your heroic attributes!"

Fionna thought about it and smiled.

"Now let's go get that book," Cake told her.

"Yeah," Fionna agreed, "You're the smartest cat I know, Cake!"

Cake laughed.

A giant mouth swooped down and swallowed her whole.

"CAKE?" Fionna exclaimed. "CAKE!"

She looked up to see that her friend had been eaten by a giantess standing forty feet tall.

"You cannot pass!" The giantess told her in a booming voice.

"GIVE ME BACK MY FRIEND!" Fionna yelled.

"No!" The giantess said.

Cake popped out of her nose. "DON'T WORRY, FIO! I CAN GET OUT!"

The giantess growled and stuffed her back in.

"LET HER GO!" Fionna yelled. "OR I'LL…" She ran over to the giantess's foot and began to punch at it. "I'LL PUNCH YOUR FOOT!"

The giantess gave a booming laugh. "It is impossible for you to hurt me!"

Cake popped out of the giantess's ear and laughed. "IT'S OKAY! I FOUND ANOTHER WAY—!"

The giantess stuffed her back in again.

Fionna began to climb up the giantess's hairy leg. "I'M COMING, GAL!"

The giantess gave a loud, long belch. "I think your cat finally landed in my stomach! Huh?" She looked around. "Hey! Where'd you go?"

Fionna reached into the giantess's back pocket and took out a giant wallet. "I GOT YOUR WALLET, YA IDIOT!" She took out a giant one-dollar bill and jumped off, using it as a glider through the air.

"NO!" The giantess screamed. "MY BIG MONEY!" She began to chase Fionna desperately. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY FRIEND!" Fionna yelled.

"BUT I KILLED HER ALREADY!" The giantess yelled.

Tears streamed down Fionna's face like waterfalls. _"Fine. Ill give you your dollar."_

She span around and flew towards the giantess in rage. _"HERE'S YOUR DOLLAR!"_

She kicked the giantess roughly in the stomach.

The giantess gave a wheeze in surprise and fell backward. Cake was spat out of the giantess's mouth and went flying through the air.

"CAKE!" Fionna flew over to her friend with the dollar and Cake wrapped her arms around her. "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Stomachs are weird." Cake said.

Fionna flew them all the way to the castle on top of Pt. Stagent.

"Girl," Cake cheered, "You just flew us all the way to the top of Pt. Stagent!"

The giantess sobbed in despair. "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR STEALING MY DOLLAR!"

"Just a minute, Cake," Fionna folded the dollar into a gigantic paper airplane and flew it to the giantess. She caught it and cheered.

"You know what that was?" Cake asked Fionna. "That was righteous."

Fionna blushed. "Thanks, Cake. Now hear out that book for me."

"You got it!" Cake said. Fionna picked her up and held her up high as Cake held up her ear.

* * *

><p>Fiona opened another door in the castle, still clutching Cake. "WHOA!"<p>

There was a gigantic hallway, with torches lighting the walls and spiked sticking out of the ceiling. There was a black carpet with a skull running down the middle, and the walls and floor were made out of stone.

"COOL!" Cake exclaimed.

"_Congratulations, Fionna the Human."_

A thick cloud of dark purple smoke erupted in the middle of the hall. A dark, cloaked figure stepped out, stretching bony, deadly hands toward them.

"_You must be truly righteous to have made it this far." _The figure said in a hollow voice.

"Thank you."

"_Now, enter my Brain World, and I will show you some aspect of yourself that you are not entirely aware of._

The hall swirled and blurred around Fionna until the room became pitch black.

"_Where…am I?" Fionna asked, looking around the environment._

"_For your final trial," The hollow voice said, "You must slay this beast!"_

_A large beast landed in front of Fionna. It looked somewhat like a gigantic kidney with organs wrapped around it and a bony hand sticking out._

"_Why?" Fionna asked. "Is it an evil beast?"_

"_Yes! It is completely evil! Will you slay it?"_

"_Shoot yeah! I'll slay anything that's evil! That's my deal."_

_The beast threw its arm at Fionna. She took its bony arm and flipped it entirely over. She jumped onto it and began to punch and kick it. It exploded._

"_Yes!" The hollow voice said. "You've done well, hero."_

"_Thank you."_

"_Now, as one last, LAST trial, slay this worm!"_

_A small worm appeared on the floor. Fionna knelt to pet it with her finger. "Is it evil?"_

"_No! But…it's not evil, either…it's…uh…neutral…will you slay it?"_

_Fionna raised a fist, but couldn't kill the worm._

"_NO!" She yelled, jumping away from the worm. _

"_If you want the hero's Enchiridion, than slay the flippin' worm!" The voice commanded._

"_Never…" Fionna said. "Never…!"_

"_NEVER!"_

The hall appeared around her again. She ran up to the cloaked figure and punched it in the gut, making it disappear in a cloud of smoke.

A door at the end of the hall opened, pouring sunlight into the hall. A person walked into the hall, dressed in a long black cloak.

"Congratulations, Fionna the Human. Now, you have truly reached the end of—"

"NEVER!"

Fionna punched the small person in the gut.

She jumped when she saw who it was. "Oh, no! Ki, I'm so sorry, I—why are you wearing that little reaper costume?"

"These are my pajamas," Ki groaned, "I was getting ready for bed."

"Fionna! Cake! You made it!"

Fionna looked up to see a deep purple Werecat run up to them.

"Are you another trial?" Fionna asked as Cake walked up behind her.

"Trail? Oh, no! I'm Womanish-Woman, the Werecat!"

Fionna gasped. "The Womanly Werecat from Prince Gumball's story!"

Womanish-Woman laughed out loud.

"So…" Fionna said, "Can I check out the Enchiridion now? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"Yeah, come on, let's go check it out!" Womanish-Woman said, leading them out the door, cheering.

"We've been watching you guys on our magical-viewing sphere," Womanish-Woman said as they approached a picnic table seating a few of the old men from before. "Take a seat, gals, have some juice. There's orange and cranberry and Ki made pasta!"

Ki demonstrated by bringing out a bowl of steamy pasta.

"And," Womanish-Woman said, "Okay, Fionna, are you ready?"

She slowly brought out the Enchiridion.

"THE ENCHIRIDION!" Fiona gasped.

"You deserve it, Fionna," Womanish-Woman said, handing it over to her.

"Really?" Fionna gasped, taking it.

"Yeah," Womanish-Woman said. "You're the greatest of heart and most righteous person I've seen here! Tenderness, ingenuity, bravery, gut-kicking ability, and when you took that giantess's dollar—oh man! Ki nearly fainted!"

"It's true!" Ki laughed.

Fionna stared at the book in awe. The Enchiridion was solid gold with a silver dagger in the center of the cover. Around the circle, there were six different jewels: An amber, an emerald, a sapphire, a ruby, a diamond, and an amethyst—

"Hey, crack open that book and read something for fun's sake!" Cake told Fionna, taking a sip of cranberry juice.

"Oh yeah!" Fionna said, opening the book. "Whoa! _How to Kiss Princes_?"

She blushed and laughed nervously, closing the book.

"Whoa! What'd you just read…?" Cake asked her slyly, nudging her side.

"_Yeah, what does it say, Fionna?" _Prince Gumball demanded over the sphere, _"Womanish-Woman won't tell me."_

"Hey, don't tell her, Fionna," Womanish-Woman whispered to her.

"It doesn't say anything, Prince," Fionna blushed.

"_Womanish-Woman,"_ Prince Gumball said.

Everyone laughed.

FACTS ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

· After Finn has defeated the demon, he becomes enraged and his nose can be seen for the first time.

· On the actual Enchiridion book, the numbers 8.13.21. Can be seen written on the back while Finn is reading it.

· When Womanish-Woman was laughing and cheering, her tail was frizzing out, similar to Cake.

GENDER-SWAPPED FACTS

· Like how Jake can smell things from miles away, Cake can hear things from miles away.

· While in the original episode, the giant ogre barfed Jake out, but in the gender-swapped episode, Cake was simply coughed out.

· Finn and Jake went to Mt. Cragdoor in the original episode, but in the gender-swapped episode, Fionna and Cake go to Pt. Stagent.


	6. The Bouncer

Sup, ya'll!

This is Moonstar coming at you with one of my favorite episodes! Please R&R!

CHARACTERS:

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

The Bouncers—are type of creatures that live in the Land of Aaa. The Baby Bouncer is ball-shaped and the color pine green with celeste-colored arms and legs that can appear and disappear. She also has multiple holes all over her body. When moving, The Baby Bouncer will make her legs and arms disappear and will roll around like a ball. The Baby Bouncer also has siblings, though with unknown genders, there colors are amaranth, crimson, amber, burgundy, olive, lime green, and orchid. The biggest of them all is the Father Bouncer, who is about the height of a house. Although he has the same shape and holes as the Baby Bouncers, he has multiple colored parts such as an apricot-colored arm and a coral-colored leg.

THE BOUNCER

Fionna and Cake walked away from the burning castle and seemed not to notice the agonizing screams coming from it. They walked on, carrying cantaloupes, licorice, and other things.

"_Baby," _Fionna sang in an auto-tuned voice.

"Ooh!" Cake said.

"_I know what you need."_

"What's that?"

"_You need some little baby socks. _

_For your little baby feet!"_

Cake cheered as Fionna span around.

"_Baby,"_

"Yeah?"

"_I know what you crave."_

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"_You want to party all day and all night long,_

_Well Baby, behave!"_

"Hey, how can you sing like that, girl?" Cake asked.

"You remember when I swallowed that little TV?"

"…Oh yeah."

They came to a small brick house. They set down the 2 cantaloupes, a long string of licorice, 4 malt balls, a rather large peach, and a papaya.

"Ok, Stacy," Fionna told a cantaloupe, "You and your family are safe. Again."

"Seriously, Stace," Cake said, "For a cantaloupe, you get into trouble much more often than you should."

* * *

><p>Later, as Cake and Fionna went past a large cake-like tree trunk, Cake was whistling the song, and Fionna occasionally hummed to the beat.<p>

A small, round-shaped creature bounced from behind a tree trunk and stared at Cake a moment before beginning to whistle the song. It was a strange bluish pink color and had many holes around its body.

It bounced up behind Cake and jumped on her head, causing Cake to jump at the whistling object.

"Wha—?" Fionna exclaimed, turning to the creature. "SHMOW-ZOW!" She exclaimed and the creature hopped onto the ground and sprouted arms and legs out of four of its many holes, waving them to its whistling. "Look at that!"

"That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen," Cake swooned. "And it likes your Baby song! Sing some more of it, girl!"

"Okay," Fionna said,

"_Baby,_

_You're looking so good!" _

The creature began to bounce around to the music.

"_It looks like you might_

_Want some baby food."_

"Keep going, Fi!" Cake cheered, watching the creature dance.

"_Baby, _

_You're looking so fine!_

_You look like you might_

_Just start cryin'."_

Cake and Fionna laughed and collapsed onto the ground next to the creature.

"This girl is a pal for life!" Fionna said, picking up the creature. "She looks like a really bouncy ball."

"I know why she's bouncy!" Cake said, bobbing up and down, "She just has a sugar craze!"

The creature jumped from Fionna's arms and began to bounce.

Fionna laughed. "She's a Bouncer! She's the best thing ever! Let's take the Bouncer to our house! Let's stick her by our beds—"

"—And wake up to a little dancing thing every morning!" Cake and Fionna said in unison.

The three of them ran down the hill, with Fionna singing and Cake throwing in every now and then.

"_I gotta tuck you in, Babe,_

_I gotta sing sweet melodies about babies, yeah!"_

"Little baby feet!"

"Welcome to your new home!" Fionna told the Bouncer, climbing up the ladder to the Tree-House. "Feast your eyes on everything!"

The Bouncer gave a long whistle, looking around the room.

"Nice, eh?" Fionna asked the Bouncer, who gave a whistle of agreement.

Fionna took out a small hairbrush and split it down the middle.

"What are you doing?" Cake asked her.

"I'm splitting my hairbrush in half so the Bouncer can use a half." Fionna answered, giving the Bouncer a half of the hairbrush. "Here you go. This is for your hair. Like this." She took her half of the brush and ran it over her small piece of hair three times.

The bouncer took her half of the brush and rubbed it all around her head.

"Yeah, you got it!" Fionna told her.

"Enough hygiene," Cake said, putting a record disc into a player, "Let's dance!"

The moment the music started, the Bouncer began to dance crazily to it.

"Yeah, hairbrush-dance," Fionna cheered. "Cool!"

The Bouncer hopped onto her head and flailed her legs madly. Fionna and Cake copied her.

Next, the Bouncer put her arms under her legs and bounced around with Fionna and Cake following suit.

They ran around in a circle, touching each others' backs. They waved around their arms madly. They danced like crazy at one point.

Then things got a bit insane. Fionna pounded on the floor. Cake flipped over the table. Fionna pushed the fridge down. They ran around the room, knocking over and destroying the furniture.

* * *

><p>Later, as the sun set and the moon came up and the clouds were replaced with stars, the Tree-House was practically trashed. The furniture was spread around everywhere and everything was torn up.<p>

"Dance…woo-hoo…yay…" Fionna said tiredly, leaning on a wall for support as her eyelids became heavy. She jumped up. "I'm not tired! How about you, Cake?"

She looked over at Cake, who was sprawled fast asleep on the floor.

"Maybe we should go upstairs," Fionna said, picking the Bouncer up onto her back and climbing the ladder up to the next story.

"You can have the comfiest spot on the bed," Fionna told the Bouncer, setting her onto Fionna's bed of animal skins and furs. "Goodnight." She gave a small whistle.

The Bouncer whistled back.

Fionna blew out the candle next to the bed and laid down on the bottom half of the bed.

* * *

><p>"Morning, Cake!" Fionna chirped, climbing down the ladder.<p>

"Morning," Cake yawned, taking a long gulp of coffee. Obviously, she stayed awake most of the night putting the furniture back in place and repairing everything.

"Are you ready to get down?" Fionna asked. She exclaimed in her auto-tuned voice, _"Let's get this party started!"_

"Yeah, okay," Cake chuckled, taking another sip of coffee.

Fionna looked around. "Where's the Bouncer?"

"Over there."

Cake nodded to the Bouncer, who was sprawled across the sofa. She looked more pale now, and a bit sick.

"Hey gal," Fionna beamed, shaking her slightly, "You ready to cut loose? Rise and shine, little bud. Let's do this thing!" She gave a small whistle.

The Bouncer tried to whistle back, but really only suppressed a moan.

"Slam-a-cow, that gal looks jack," Cake said worriedly.

"What do you mean?" Fionna asked.

The Bouncer fell to the floor.

"Well, look at her!" Cake said, "She's all limp and weird."

"Uh…She just probably needs some breakfast after a long night of extraordinary bouncing," Fionna said. "Hey! Let's blend everything we find in the kitchen together and make the Bouncer drink it! That'll wake her up! And then we can get _dooooown_!"

The Bouncer groaned in disgust.

"She doesn't want to drink that goop, girl!" Cake told her.

"Then let's just give her some…red whatever-thingies…" Fionna said, taking a red whatever-thingy out of her backpack.

"You mean strawberries?"

"Yeah, whatever," Fionna said, popping one into her mouth.

She held one out for the Bouncer. She slurped it up and swallowed it.

"I think she likes it!"

The Bouncer gave a honking noise and began to waver.

"That doesn't sound good…!" Cake said worriedly.

Suddenly, the Bouncer sprang arms from every hole in her body and began to waver madly, flashing different colors. Fionna and Cake yelped.

The Bouncer turned back to normal, but still continued to honk.

"Uh…" Fionna said, wide-eyed.

"You…you think we fed the wrong hole?" Cake said, looking at one of the Bouncer's holes, which was softly spraying a turquoise liquid.

"Nah…" Fionna said, "She just doesn't like red whatever-thingies. What we need to do is figure out what she _does _like to eat."

* * *

><p>Later, the three of them were sitting at the kitchen table, with Fionna drawing in a notebook.<p>

"Here, Bouncer," Fionna said, drawing poorly-drawn pictures in the book. Cake colored them in. "Point to what kind of food you like. Me, a pear, this looks like cheese, I think…a corn-dog…Stacy the cantaloupe…"

Fionna held up the notebook to the Bouncer. The Bouncer sprouted an arm and moved it towards the paper.

"Look!" Fionna exclaimed, "She likes it!"

She gasped as the Bouncer ripped off all of the pictures and stuffed them into her mouth.

"Wow!"

"No way," Cake said.

"Her favorite food is drawings!" Fionna said. She began to draw in the notebook again as Cake picked up the Bouncer.

"Holy fig, that's awesome!" Cake exclaimed. "What food are you drawing now?"

"I'm drawing a picture of you…" Fionna said, drawing a poorly-drawn picture of Cake.

"_Don't feed it me!" _Cake yelled.

Fionna laughed as she drew Cake saying, _I'M AN IDIOT, _and held it up to the Bouncer. "Eat her up, Bouncer!"

The Bouncer moved her mouth to the picture, but only managed to get it off the paper before Cake pulled her away.

"No!" Cake said, trying to wave the picture away. She ran around the room, trying to outrun the picture.

"Alright, alright," Fionna said, grabbing the picture when Cake got to the point to cowering on the floor. "I got it, calm down."

Cake let go of the Bouncer, and the Bouncer crawled off.

"I'll eat it!" Fionna said, moving the picture to her mouth.

"FIONNA!" Cake yelled, grabbing the picture away from her. "You eating it is just as bad as the Bouncer eating it!"

"Well, are you going to eat it yourself, toughie?"

"Yes. If that is what must be done."

Cake sadly stuffed the picture into her mouth and swallowed it.

Fionna put her arm on Cake's shoulder as Cake said sadly, "I taste awesome."

They laughed.

"Okay, alright," Fionna said, "Let's get back to some bouncing!"

"I'll get the tunes!" Cake said, running over to the record player and popping in a disc.

The Bouncer gave a soft moan.

"Like this!" Fionna said, dancing along with Cake to the music. "Yeah! Come on Bouncer!"

"Yeah! Go crazy!" Cake said. "Go mentally crazy!"

The Bouncer gave a sad groan. Suddenly, a waterfall of turquoise liquid erupted from the top of its head. Turning slightly paler, it collapsed to the ground.

"Whoa!" Cake exclaimed, turning off the player. Fionna turned around and gasped.

"Bouncer?" Fionna exclaimed, picking her up and placing her on her feet as she continued to spray the turquoise liquid.

"Ew," Cake said, "What the mess? What's wrong with her?"

"There's nothing _wrong _with her!" Fionna said nervously. "We just have to plug up her holes!"

She stuffed her finger into the hole spraying the liquid. "See? Are you ready to dance now, Bouncer?"

The Bouncer erupted the liquid from another hole, spraying Cake in the face.

"Oh, snap…" Cake said in disgust, and put her finger into the hole.

"Quick!" Fionna said, stuffing her finger into another spraying her. "We have to stuff these holes!"

Cake ran off.

"Cake, hurry!" Fionna called as another hole began to spray her.

"All I can find is your bouncy-ball collection!" Cake called.

"What about your glove collection?"

"Aw, they're in mint condition."

"_Cake!"_

"Alright, coming!" Cake said, running back into the room with an armload of gloves and bouncy-balls.

They began to stuff the holes with the balls and gloves.

"One…more…glove…" Cake said, stuffing it in.

The Bouncer now looked like a pale ball stuffed with gloves and balls, drenched in a turquoise liquid.

"She looks terrible. Fionna, I know you don't want to do this, but I think we should cut our losses and bring this gal back where we found her."

"We can't just abandon her!" Fionna told Cake. "Look at her, Cake! She needs us now more than ever!" She picked the Bouncer up. "We just need to take care of you better, right little gal?"

The Bouncer exploded.

The room was splattered with turquoise liquid.

"_BOUNCER!"_

The Bouncer was splattered across the room. It was like she was a big wad of gum, sticking to every surface possible.

"Wha—? WHA—?"

"Fionna. Okay."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Our pet exploded."

"!"

"Maybe we could…scrape her up and…ugh…"

"Oh holey-moley," Fionna exclaimed, picking up the Bouncer's head as it sagged to the floor. "Don't worry! We'll fix you!" She whistled desperately.

The Bouncer spluttered.

"Let's gather her up, Cake!" Fionna told her, carrying the Bouncer's head along with her as she went around the room, collecting the saggy body parts, "She's all over the place! Even between the floorboards!"

"And in the cupboards!"

"And in the slippers!"

"Yeesh," Cake moaned, "Where does she even end?"

She turned around to see the Bouncer's lower half jammed into the record player. She made a leap for it, but it ran from her.

"Come on," Fionna said, carrying armfuls of the Bouncer. "Let's put her back together."

"Okay!"

"Squeeze real hard! She's slipping!"

They pressed the Bouncer's saggy body together as tightly as they could, as if trying to crush it in a hug.

"Well," Cake said, looking at the Bouncer, who now looked like a very deformed football. "At least she's all in one piece. Uh…do you think she's…dead?"

"NO!" Fionna yelled. "I won't let you die, pal-gal!" Fionna scooped up the Bouncer. "Not this time!"

She began to press her lips to the Bouncer's multiple holes, as if trying to perform CPR. Eventually, she was just kissing the Bouncer's cheek.

"Fionna, stop it, what are you doing?"

"I'm kissing her, what do you think? It's all I can think to do."

"Just put her down."

Fionna sadly set the Bouncer down. She pursed her lips like she was kissing someone.

She began to kiss the floor, leaving multicolored kiss marks.

"_She's kissing colors with her dying breath." _Fionna said sadly.

The Bouncer made a last kiss mark on the floor, leaving a large picture.

"I think she's trying to tell us something," Cake said, "Fionna, this looks like her father!" She pointed to a Bouncer-like creature with multiple colors all around its body.

The Bouncer whistled sadly and tried to hug the picture (which was pretty much impossible to do.)

"We took this child away from its father, Cake! _We're kidnappers AND murderers! I JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN AND DANCE!"_

"Look, chill out, okay?" Cake told her. "We can fix this. Look." She pointed to a small house in the picture. "Her dad looks like he lives near Stacy's house. Where we found the Bouncer. If we get her back there, he'll be able to fix her up!"

"Then there's no time to spare!" Fionna said, scooping up the Bouncer.

* * *

><p>Cake and Fionna walked into the cave-like tree stump they had passed earlier.<p>

"Just hold on a little longer…" Fionna told the frail, moaning Bouncer in her arms.

There was a strange noise.

"Did you hear that?" Cake said. "Whistling!"

* * *

><p>Cake and Fionna looked deeper into the cave.<p>

"SLAM-A-COW! IT'S THE DADA!"

There was a large pool in the middle of the room. Inside it was the multicolored Bouncer from the painting surrounded by many smaller Bouncers. They were all bathing in a familiar turquoise liquid, whistling happily.

The Bouncer spluttered hopefully.

"Look!" Cake said, "The little gal wants to go home!"

"Well, this is it," Fionna smiled weakly, softly pushing the Bouncer over to the pool.

"Be well," Cake said as the Bouncer limped to the pool.

The Father Bouncer sniffed the Bouncer curiously.

He shrieked, turning rather spiky and flashing multiple colors at the Bouncer.

"Hey!" Fionna yelled angrily, running to the pool.

"Stop that!" She yelled, scooping up the Bouncer and kicking the Father Bouncer away.

"I don't understand," Fionna told Cake woefully as they hid behind some trees. "That crazy Dada almost killed her."

"She feels cold," Cake said, touching the Bouncer sorrowfully.

"What are we supposed to do now, Cake?" Fionna asked her. "We can't bring her home. Or she'll…she'll…"

She stared sadly at the Bouncer.

"DANG IT!" She yelled in rage. "WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE HER? I LOVE HER! YOU LOVE HER! _IT'S NOT FAIR!_"

"Fionna!" Cake called out to her as Fionna ran, yelling in rage to the pool.

Fionna ran up to the Father Bouncer, who shrieked louder and went bizarre.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!" Fionna cried in rage.

Cake looked at all the other Bouncers, who were staring worriedly at their father as they bathed in the turquoise liquid.

Cake sniffed her arm. "Oh, dang!"

"SHE'S YOURS, ISN'T SHE?" Fionna yelled at the Father Bouncer.

The Father Bouncer swung at her. She leapt onto his arm, then onto his head, not daring to drop the Bouncer. "DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN CHILD?"

"Fionna!"

Cake stretched her arms around her sister and brought her down next to her.

"I figured it out, Fi!" Cake told her. "It's the juice!" She pointed to the other Bouncers as they bathed in the turquoise liquid. "The Bouncer needs to smell like her daddy's juice. That's how wild animals know what's going on. And this gal's all dried out. We got to toss her in the soup, sister."

"Alright." Fionna said. "I loved you, Bouncer. I hope you know what." She gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

She threw her at the Father Bouncer, yelling, "WORD TO YOUR FATHER!"

The Bouncer landed with a splash in the turquoise liquid.

The Bouncer came out of the liquid, fully colored and lively.

The Father Bouncer sniffed her.

Immediately, he calmed down and picked his daughter up. They all whistled.

"Aw…" Fionna and Cake chorused.

"I'll never kidnap again."

"You said it, Fi. That was a nightmare."

FACTS:

· This episode is the debut of Fionna's Auto-Tune voice.

· It is revealed that Fionna had swallowed a small TV before.

· Fionna called strawberries 'red whatever-thingies.'

Please R&R! 3


	7. Rochelle the Heart Girl

Sup, ya'll!

This is Moonstar again with another episode of Fionna and Cake. I hope I'm posting these chapters very constantly. I plan on making one once every week.

**CHARACTERS**

Prince Gumball: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

The Ice Queen—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Rochelle—is the Ice Queen's heart. She began a romantic relationship with Prince Gumball, making Fionna jealous although she denies it. She is over 1,000 years old. She is Fionna's height and has scarlet hair going to her waist. She also has orange skin. She has one of the most detailed faces in the series. She has vermillion eyes with irises. She also has lips with a Cupid's bow and has a button nose. She wears a knee-length folly dress with an electric crimson heart on the chest and chestnut lace at the skirt. She wears strappy lust sandals and wears a burgundy bracelet. It is unknown how she managed to sprout arms and legs.

Rochelle the Heart Girl

Ice Queen soared through the clouds, laughing madly while clutching Prince Gumball under her arm.

"HEY, BLOCKHEAD!"

Ice Queen looked down to see Fionna and Cake running on the grassy hills below her, trying to keep up with them. They eventually reached the place where the Ice Kingdom started, so thegrass became snow.

"LET GO OF PRINCE GUMBALL!" Fionna yelled at her.

"Foolish interlopers," Ice Queen hissed, landing on top of a hill of snow. She shot an ice beam at them.

Fionna dodged it by ducking. She grabbed a wad of snow and packed it together before throwing it at Ice Queen.

It hit her in the face as she was laughing.

"MY IRISES!" Ice Queen shrieked, wiping at her eyes madly.

Cake stretched over to Prince Gumball and removed him from Ice Queen. She molded her stomach so that it looked just like Prince Gumball, with her head where her back would have been. Prince Gumball chuckled.

"HEY, ICE QUEEN!" Fionna yelled once Ice Queen had cleared her eyes. "I BET YOU'LL NEVER KISS THE PRINCE!"

"I WILL KISS HIM! _I WILL_!" Ice Queen told her. She turned to Cake-Stomach-Prince-Gumball. "Hold still." She gave 'him' a big wet kiss on the cheek.

Fionna laughed out loud. "You just kissed Cake's gut!"

"What?" Ice Queen exclaimed.

Cake stretched back to her normal state.

The Ice Queen shrieked in disgust and threw her at Fionna, who caught her.

Fionna, Cake, and Prince Gumball laughed out loud.

"The hour is yours," Ice Queen said, beginning to flap her eyebrows to fly, "But the day shall be mine. Just like you, Prince! MINE!"

"What a stub," Prince Gumball said, watching her fly away. "Thanks for saving the day _yet again_, girls."

"You're welcome, Prince," Fionna told him.

Prince Gumball pulled her into a hug. Fionna flushed a dark scarlet color. She looked at Cake, who gave her an encouraging thumbs-up.

"I'm going to throw you gals a party," Prince Gumball pulled away from her. "Meet at the Candy Kingdom. Tonight!"

PARTY TIME!

* * *

><p>"Is that paper dragon for Prince Gumball?" Cake asked Fionna as they made their way through the forest to the Candy Kingdom.<p>

"I just thought I'd bring him a gift," Fionna replied, "In return for throwing us this party."

Cake chuckled. "I bet you wish you were my gut."

"What?"

"I bet you wish you were my gut so the prince—no. Wait. I bet you wish you were the Ice Queen and the prince was my gut."

"_What?"_

"Hmm…oh! I bet you wish Gumball would kiss too! Like the Ice Queen and my gut!"

"That's ridiculous!" Fionna told Cake as Cake laughed out loud.

Fionna imagined Prince Gumball giving her a kiss on the cheek and blushed madly.

Realizing what she was thinking, Fionna shook her head.

Laughing crazily, Cake ran ahead to the Candy Kingdom gates.

"What so funny?" Fionna called after her.

* * *

><p>"Hey, everybody," Peppermint Maid called to everyone as she opened the doors to the Grand Hall, "Fionna and Cake are here!"<p>

"Who's ready to party?" Cake whooped.

But everyone had their attention on something going on, and they didn't even notice them.

Fionna and Cake exchanged glances.

Fionna walked up to Wildberry Prince and asked, "What's everyone laughing at?"

Wildberry Prince shushed her.

"Stand back, everyone," A tall girl with red hair and a very realistic face told everyone, stepping on Lumpy Space Prince's back. "This style of massage is called 'Best Friend Massage."

"Oh my Glob," LSP said.

"It can only be done for best friends. It's completely consensual."

"Oh holy cow."

"Relax yourself now, Lumpy Space Prince."

The redhead girl flipped backwards on LSP's back entirely. Everyone cheered.

"I feel so great!" LSP said.

"Who is that gal?" Fionna asked Cake. Cake shrugged.

Some trumpets sounded off.

Prince Gumball came into the room, riding on Peppermint Maid through some gold doors, "Greetings, partygoers. I'm glad you could all make it."

"Prince Gumball!" Fionna beamed.

The redhead girl blushed fiercely.

"Prince," Fionna said, taking out her paper dragon, "I just wanted to thank you for—"

"Oh my Glob," LSP interrupted her, "PG, you have got to check out this super-cute girl!"

Fionna watched as LSP dragged Prince Gumball away.

"This is," LSP said, walking up to the redhead girl. "Oh my Glob, I don't even know your name."

"Rochelle," The girl replied, "Rochelle at your service." She bowed to Prince Gumball. "I've been waiting ALL evening to meet you, Prince."

Fionna looked down at her paper dragon and stuffed it into her pocket.

"I've heard you appreciate ancient technology," Rochelle went on, "Have you ever used a Geobarbic laser to align the Hydrographic rift in the Yordiale porbation?"

"Why, no, I haven't!" Prince Gumball said.

Music began to play and the lights began to throb. Everyone cheered and ran to the dance floor.

"Want to continue this conversation on the dance floor?" Prince Gumball asked Rochelle.

"It would be my pleasure, Prince," Rochelle said, taking Prince Gumball's hand.

"Why didn't the prince invite _me_ to dance?" Fionna asked herself.

"If you want to dance, just dance," Cake told her.

"But now he's dancing with _her_! I feel…_weird_."

"Sound like you're dealing with some new emotions you don't understand," Cake said smugly, "Like jealousy."

"BLARG!"

"Look, girl, just go out there and get down!" Cake grabbed her by the shirt and pushed her to the dance floor.

"—is completely independent of the Horigonic stimulation," Rochelle was telling Prince Gumball as he span her around.

"Wow," Prince Gumball said, "That would mean that the Gerobarbic horgions would fluctuate with the Joronic nanosphere."

"Correct."

Fionna stopped dancing and groaned.

"They're talking about science!" Fionna told Cake at the bar, while Cake sipped some blueberry juice. "I can't compete with that!"

"Do the Science-Dance! Remember it? It was sort of like this." She squared her arms and legs into funny shapes.

"You think that will work?"

"Yeah, probably; do it, girl, you're a pro!" She pushed Fionna to the dance floor again.

Fionna began to square her arms and legs into strange shapes a little way from Rochelle and Prince Gumball, chanting, "Science-dance, Science-dance."

She walked closer to Rochelle and Prince Gumball, making them both stop talking and stare at her.

"Hey! Hey, Prince! You wanna spend some time with me?" Fionna called over the music, still Science-Dancing.

"Excuse me, Prince," Rochelle said with a small bow and walked away.

"Oh. Uh, okay." Prince Gumball said. "Fionna, what the pickle? I was learning about hanzoids."

"I'm…into hanzoids. They're the best!"

"Hanzoids kill hundreds of thousands of glutonods a year."

"Oh, no, not the glutonods!"

"Glutonods produce Frozotoxin!"

"…"

"…Frozotoxin kills hanzoids!"

"So are hanzoids…good things?"

"You're totally jealous of Rochelle," Prince Gumball said smugly.

"No, I'm not!" Fionna retorted. "I just don't like the way she talks to you! It makes me feel weird."

"That's jealousy, sugah."

"I'm not jealous! _I'M WEIRD_!"

Everyone stopped dancing and stared at Fionna, whose scream had echoed through the Grand Hall.

"Meow!" Cake exclaimed, grabbing her head. "This is going _bad_."

"Hey, Fionna," She said, walking up to her and grabbing her arm, "Come help me slay these sugar monsters at the bar! It can't wait!"

"Sheesh, what happened out there?" Cake asked Fionna once they were out of earshot.

"I-I don't know! I was trying to warn him, but…but he twisted my words around!"

"Yeah. Men are twisty. Gumball's super smart, too."

"I know! And I can't shake off this weird feeling about Rochelle! I think she's…_a villain_."

"Why? Is it because her face is all moldy and dramatic?"

"No! I just feel it in my gut! She's up to something sinister."

"What you're feeling is romantic rivalry."

"I'll prove she's a villain!"

"How?"

"Stakeout."

* * *

><p>Later, as the Candy People filed out of the castle one by one, Cake and Fionna were sitting on one of the castle towers, with Fionna having a pair of binoculars.<p>

"There she is!"

She looked over at Rochelle and Prince Gumball, who were having a conversation on the stairway. "They're talking!"

"Let me see!" Cake took the binoculars. "I can read their lips:

**Hey, redhead. You should jump in front of a bus.**

_You sort of look like a big pink peach._"

"Get serious, Cake!" Fionna took the binoculars back. "This is life and death!"

"Is it? Don't get me wrong, I like stakeouts and stuff, but what is she's not a villain? What if she just looks wicked? Some people look wicked and are super nice."

"I got to trust my gut."

Cake looked at her gut.

"She's on the move," Fionna said, stuffing her binoculars into her backpack. "Let's roll!"

Cake let her hop onto her back and started to stretch across the kingdom by grabbing her hands onto buildings and such, almost like Spider-Man. Finally, they hopped onto one of the Royal Promise Keepers' head.

"I see her," Fionna observed through the binoculars, "She's holding rope and going into the trash. She's smashing bottles! _And pretending to stab someone!_"

"So…she's recycling?" Cake asked, rubbing her gut. "Or what?"

"I think you're gut's a little naïve, Cake," Fionna replied. "Holy molly! She's…she's with the Ice Queen! They're shouting something! Rochelle is tossing her in the dumpster! And running away!"

"So I was right!" Cake cheered. "She is a good gal! Who's just cursed to look suspicious! You and me, gut, together forever." Cake rubbed her stomach lovingly. "_Solving crimes with bug love rhymes."_

"No way! This means she's a _super villain! _More powerful than lesser villains like the Ice Queen!"

"_Your gut says she's evil," _Cake sang, _"My gut says she's good. Why not put our guts together and end this funky feud?"_

"Then it's settled," Fionna said. "We'll approach Rochelle together and prove she's evil."

"Or good."

* * *

><p>Rochelle cautiously walked through the moonlit streets of the Candy Kingdom, grasping her rope and clutching the broken bottle.<p>

She bumped into someone.

"So what are you doing, Rochelle?" Fionna demanded. "Are you evil?"

"Or nice, with an evil face?" Cake asked.

"That's none of your business!" Rochelle hissed.

"The safety of Prince Gumball _is _my business!" Fionna told her.

"Yeah, we just want to know if you're evil or not." Cake shrugged.

"Oh yeah?" Rochelle asked.

"Yeah." Fionna said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Cake said. _"Yes."_

"Just stay away from Prince Gumball with all that stuff." Fionna told Rochelle.

"My plan is nearly complete. There is no way you can stop me."

"I could stop you if I wanted."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh _YEAH?"_

"YEAH!"

Fionna gave Rochelle a hard punch to the nose, sending Rochelle stumbling backwards.

"What's going on here?"

Fionna looked up to see Prince Gumball, walking towards them while staring at the groaning Rochelle.

"PRINCE?"

"Rochelle?" Prince Gumball bent next to her.

"Yes." Rochelle wheezed. "I'm alright, Prince."

"Fionna!" Prince Gumball exclaimed. "Why'd you do it?"

"He was going to hurt you with those ropes and bottles!"

"They were for a Geobarbic laser!"

"It's not all her fault, Prince," Rochelle told him, "I might have looked a little threatening."

"Fionna, you shouldn't punch brainiacs! You know how fragile they are! You've got to stop this jealousy business!"

"But—!"

"Come on, Rochelle," Prince Gumball helped the wounded Rochelle up and walked away with her. "I'll patch you up."

"He hates me now," Fionna said quietly. "You were totally right about Rochelle."

"No, Fionna. You were not wrong."

Fionna and Cake turned to see the Ice Queen, pale and shaken up, stumble out of the alley. She looked a couple shades paler than before, her dress was torn and scratched, and her hair was scraggly and messed up. But what was most disturbing was the facr that there was a wide, gaping black hole in her chest.

"She…is…evil…"

She collapsed to the ground.

"Ice Queen! What do you know about Rochelle?" Fionna demanded. "Tell me or I'll do something!"

"Hold up, Fi!" Cake held her sister back. "The Ice Queen looks a little damaged."

"I don't care. I only care about Rochelle."

"But…my innervated condition has _everything _to do with her…" Ice Queen wheezed.

"_I was trying to make a potion that would give me total control over Prince Gumball's heart."_

_The Ice Queen added one last drop of the scarlet liquid into the goblet. It smoked, and a liquid-like pink heart came out of the goblet, floating as if gravity was extinct. The Ice Queens smiled wickedly._

"_But I messed it all up."_

_The heart suddenly turned black. The Ice Queen gasped and shielded herself from the blast._

"_And lost control of mine."_

_The Ice Queen, unconscious and spread on the floor, groaned. A small, stubby red hand shot out of her chest. Soon, her heart (with arms and legs) was pulling itself out of her chest. The heart leaped onto the floor and grew and molded until it was Rochelle, with her heart-shaped face and long red hair. Cackling, she ran to the window._

"_She planned to take out Gumball's heart and make it her husband."_

_The Ice Queen, still a bit dizzy, reached out for Rochelle desperately. Rochelle blew a raspberry at her and leapt out the window. _

"_Without my heart, I grew weak."_

_The Ice Queen looked at the black hole in her chest and groaned._

"_But I made my way to the Candy Kingdom to find her."_

_The Ice Queen stumbled through the sunlit forest to the Candy Kingdom desperately. _

"_In an alleyway, I begged her to return to me and leave the prince alone."_

_The Ice Queen begged Rochelle in the alleyway to return to her and leave Prince Gumball alone._

"But then she threw me into a dumpster and left me for dead." The Ice Queen finished with a gasp. She reached out a hand to Fionna weakly. "Stop…Rochelle…"

Fionna slapped her hand away and turned to Cake. "Come on, Cake! We got to save the Prince!"

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake burst through the doors of the Main Hall where the thrones stood.<p>

"Prince Gumball! _Gasp!_"

Prince Gumball was sitting on his throne, bound in ropes and struggling to break free. Rochelle was standing next to him, dangerously holding a broken bottle with a wicked smile.

"_Fionna!" _Prince Gumball cried. _"Cake!"_

"You were right all along, Fionna," Rochelle said with the same wicked smile, "Now I'm going to rip out Prince Gumball's heart _and make out with it._"

"Not if I can help it!" Fionna exclaimed.

She and Cake leapt for Rochelle, but Rochelle quickly leapt out of the way and ran across the room.

The three of them ran into another room. After a chorus of 'Whoa!', a strange noise and a few screams, Rochelle ran back out of the room.

Just as Fionna and Cake drew in on her, Rochelle brought her bottle closer to Prince Gumball's face. _"One step closer, and I'll remove his heart!"_

"Fionna!" Prince Gumball said. "I feel like a complete moron for doubting you! She was just so engaging! Though her knowledge on hanzoids is actually pretty weak…"

"Shut your mouth, Prince," Rochelle warned him, bringing the bottle closer.

Cake stretched her ear over to Rochelle and punched her away from the prince. She fell to the floor.

"I WILL SMOOCH THAT HEART!" Rochelle screeched. "IT WILL BE MY HUSBAND!"

"Why don't you marry someone your own size?" Fionna yelled in anger. "LIKE MY FOOT!"

She leaped from Cake's back and brought her face down on Rochelle's face. Rochelle yelped and stumbled back, clutching her nose.

"AND MY FISTS!"

Fionna brought her fists to Rochelle's stomach and face, giving her a black eye and knocking the air out of her.

"Stop it!"

Fionna turned around to see the Ice Queen crawling through the door with a weak smile. She looked even more pale, and her hair was as messier than ever. Her dress was the same, though the gaping hole in her chest looked even deeper.

"That's my heart you're beating up," Ice Queen moaned.

"Ice Queen," Fionna stepped back from Rochelle.

Ice Queen crawled over to the disorientated, groaning Rochelle.

Fionna turned to Cake. "Should we…let her take her heart back? She is…villainous."

"I don't want to watch an old woman die on Prince Gumball's carpet, girl."

"Oh yeah…" Ice Queen said, grabbing Rochelle's arm as she tried to wriggle away. "Come to mommy…" She began to press down on Rochelle's heart so that she was strangely began to shrink. "There you go…"

Rochelle's long red hair shrunk back into her head until she was bald. Her arms and legs withered away, and her entire body began to deplete until she was a large, misshapen heart.

The Ice Queen stuffed her into the hole in her chest.

The Ice Queen's flesh began to take over the hole, and Rochelle whispered, _"See…you…later…"_

"I feel…_WONDERFUL!" _The Ice Queen cried. Her color returned to her skin so that she was the same blue color. Her messy hair smoothed out, and the tears in her dress disappeared. "And now that I've saved the prince, he'll marry me and live in my dungeon every day!"

"No he won't!" Fionna yelled, taking the last of the ropes off of Prince Gumball with Cake.

"Yeah, no I won't!" Prince Gumball agreed, standing up.

"Yes you _WILL!_" The Ice Queen shrieked, her hands glowing with her ice powers.

Fionna kicked her in the face, sending her back.

"Maybe not today," Ice Queen said, flapping her eyebrows and soaring away. "Maybe not tomorrow. But someday—!"

She hit her head on the roof, mumbling, she flew out of the window.

* * *

><p>"Thanks again for saving me. <em>Again.<em>" Prince Gumball told Fionna, putting some more pasta on his fork and putting it into his mouth.

"Don't mention it," Fionna said through a mouthful of pasta.

"Now that Rochelle's gone, you don't have to be jealous of anyone anymore." Prince Gumball smirked.

"I never get jealous," Fionna retorted, putting her chin on her hand and playing with he pasta.

"Kiss me, Fionna."

Fionna froze and blushed scarlet all over.

"I mean—a-hem—_kiss me, Fionna._"

Fionna turned to her left to see that Prince Gumball was upside down in his seat, with a mask of Cake on his stomach.

"Am I doing it right, Cake?" Prince Gumball whispered to Cake. Cake laughed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fionna cried.

Facts:

· When Prince Gumball, Fionna, and Cake are eating pasta in the dining room, their chairs resemble pop tarts.

· When Princess Bubblegum explains the cycle of the hanzoids, glutonods, and the Frozotoxin, it represents rock, paper, scissors where hanzoids beat glutonods, hanzoids beat Frozotoxin, and Frozotoxin beats hanzoids.

R&R!


	8. Business Time

Sup, ya'll!

This is Moonstar. Again. For the eighth time.

Well, here's the eighth episode. Please review it. Please. 0-0

CHARACTERS

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**The Businesswomen—**are a group of women hired by Fionna and Cake. They were found in an iceberg, so their age is unknown. The names of them are Avery, Amanda, Audrey, and Arietta. They all wear gray pencil skirts with a gray jacket, a white blouse, black boots, and black ties. The only differences are their hairstyles and hair color: Avery has chestnut hair going down to her waist; Audrey has russet hair tied back into a bun; Amanda has auburn hair in a high ponytail; Arietta has sepia short-cut and curly.

Corndog Prince—is the prince of the Hot Dog Kingdom. He is Hot Dog Princess's gender-swap character. He is long with a golden-brown outside (probably bread), and has long ears like a cocker spaniel.

BUSINESSTIME

Fionna lit her flamethrower once more and charged it at the iceberg. It melted in a matter of seconds.

"I found another tricycle and more computers!" Fionna called to cake, looking at the iceberg's contents. "What do you got?"

"I keep finding weird shoes!" Cake called, gesturing to the pile of oddly-shaped shoes before her.

She charged her flamethrower at an iceberg behind her, revealing more oddly shaped shoes.

"What the flip? And they're all righties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot."

"Keep it together, cat cakes." Fionna told her. "I think we have enough scrap to finish our gauntlet-dock—a dock that is also a gauntlet!"

She gestured over to the gauntlet-dock. It wasn't quite done, only with the wooden walkway and a few spiky balls and a chainsaw.

"Building this gauntlet-dock is hard, Fi." Cake moaned. "Hard work stinks."

"Don't be lazy, Cake," Fionna told her.

They heard a strange bubbling noise behind them. They turned around to see the biggest iceberg they had ever seen floating towards them.

"Incoming iceberg," Cake called.

"Whoa!" Fionna gaped. "That one's huge!"

"I got dibs! I hot it's not shoes!"

Cake ran over to the iceberg and noticed some weird figures inside it. She ran a hand across the icy surface to reveal—

"_Whoa! _It's a gal!"

"Creepy," Fionna walked around the iceberg, looking through the frozen outside. "It's a bunch of gals."

"You know what they remind me of? Well-dresses cucumbers."

"Stand back, Cake," Fionna told her, setting up her flamethrower. "I'm going to melt them out of there—full charge!" She flared her flamethrower, causing it to burst out flames.

"Whoa!" Cake grabbed it away from her. "Don't roast them, Fi! You got to _flambé_." She lightly waved the flamethrower across the iceberg, flambéing it halfway, "Viola!"

"Hey, can you hear me?" Fionna asked the frozen women. "Hello?"

Cake knocked on the head of a woman with shoulder-length brown hair. "I don't think they made it."

"Hey, this one's got some kind of pack." Fionna pointed to a woman with long black hair clutching a suitcase. Fionna reached for the suitcase, but suddenly, the woman sprang to life and clutched Fionna's throat.

Fionna screamed.

The woman moaned, "I…remember…business…"

"LET GO LET GO LET GO!" Fionna screamed, running away from the woman.

The woman wrenched her suitcase out of the iceberg. The other business women sprang to life as well and soon, they were all alive and breathing, clutching phones or suitcases.

"We are businesswomen." The long-haired brunette said.

"Oh." Fionna said. She and Cake took off their flamethrowers. "Well, I'm Fionna, and this is Cake."

"What kind of business do you do?" Cake asked them.

"Been frozen…so long…I…" The long-haired brunette groaned in pain with the others, "can't…remember…oh! Are you looking for business help?"

The other women smiled hopefully. "We love work for you."

"Nah," Fionna shook her head no. "Adventurers don't need help—"

"Yes!" Cake ignored her sister. "Help us fix that dock!"

"Do-ck?" The women were confused.

"Right over there," Cake gestured over to the gauntlet-dock.

"Yes…" The women murmured. "This do-ck could be more…efficient…"

"No, wait!"

The businesswomen jumped in fear.

"Cake," Fionna told her, "This dock is _our _fun cookie! _We _should be the ones to bake it!"

"But they're begging for it, Fi! Just look at them!"

The businesswomen all blushed and giggled.

"Fi, these poor souls are lost without jobs! We can't ignore their plight!"

"Uh…"

"GO ON, GALS, FIX IT UP!"

The businesswomen all screamed with delight and ran to the gauntlet-dock.

"Well…they do seem really happy to do it…" Fionna said, watching the businesswomen work.

"Of course, girl! They said they _love work for you!_"

"We finished!"

"WHOA!" Fionna gawked at the dock. There was fire, a giant pair of scissors, twenty axes, and more. It was a dream come true.

"Told you so," Cake said.

"Come on! Let's try it out!" Fionna and Cake ran to the dock.

First, they had to jump over an avalanche of logs (Fionna got hit.) Then, they ran over a blade and under a swinging ax. Then they had to quickly dash through the pair of scissors. They were then launched into the air by a spring pad. They came to a beheading blade. Cake ran through it, while Fionna broke through the wood. They caught hold of a swinging Morningstar and swung off of it and finally jumped through a fiery hoop into the water.

They resurfaced, bruised, scratched, and a bit bloodied (though very happy.)

"See?" Cake breathed heavily. "If we hire them full-time, they'll be back in business, and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff! Everyone wins!"

"Maybe you're right!"

"YOU HEAR THAT, GIRLS? MAYBE I'M RIGHT!"

"Really?" The long-haired brunette smiled. "Job with adventurers?"

"Yeah!"

The businesswomen cheered.

And so, the businesswomen were hired. They shined the weapons, ironed the clothes, and shined the shoes happily and gratefully.

"It feels weird doing nothing," Fionna told Cake as Cake played _Conquest Pros _on BMA.

"Relax, Fi, this is your day off."

"_Help! Somebody help!"_

"Someone's in trouble!" Fionna yelped. "Get your ax! I'll get my sword!"

Fionna stopped short of running when she saw the businesswomen in front of her.

"Adventure pack. Ready for you." The long-haired brunette said, handing Fionna her backpack and sword. Fionna and Cake decided to name her Avery.

"Thanks!"

Fionna and Cake ran down the grassy hill, sword in hand and hearts pumping.

"I have to say, Cake, my sword is totally shiny!" Fionna told her sister, raising her ruby sword so that it gleamed in the sun, "And stinkin' sharp!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Even my shoes feel different! Not only are they clean, I feel cooler, faster, and more…adequate!"

"Cool!"

The businesswomen ran behind them, frantically taking notes.

"_Help!" _Corndog Prince cried, running around in his pen away from the flying battle triangles swarming over him.

"Don't worry, Corndog Prince! Cake and I will fend off these battle triangles!"

Avery, the short-haired brunette Audrey, the pony tailed brunette Arietta, and the bun-tied brunette Amanda wrote down notes furiously, drinking coffee and chewing on donuts.

And so Fionna and cake fended off the battle cubes, slashing swords and kicking away lightning bolts.

2 HOURS LATER…

Fionna and Cake were tired. The battle triangles kept going on no matter what. Their limbs felt weak. Corndog Prince had fallen asleep.

"I'm getting tired…" Fionna yawned, numbly slapping away the lightning bolts.

"Me too…" Cake said weakly, sweating like crazy. "These triangles are flipping resilient." She turned around to the business women and called, "Hey, business girls!"

The businesswomen all jumped.

"Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath," Cake told them.

"Cake! They don't know how to fight!"

The businesswomen ran to the battle triangles, with armor and weapons, whooping battle cried.

Fionna sat next to Cake, watching the businesswomen fend off the battle triangles.

Amanda ran up to them with a tray of water bottles and apple slices. "Water and apple slices help re-hydrate."

Fionna gulped down some water as Cake chewed on an apple.

"These gals are great, right?" Cake asked Fionna as Fionna poured the rest of the water all over her face.

"I've got to admit—they are helping," Fionna smiled. "Oh! I think I've figured out how to get the battle cubes!"

"That's because you've had time to rest your bod and refresh your brain."

Fionna and Cake did some stretches before running back to the battle triangles.

"Ok! We'll take it from here!"

"Yeah! Good work!"

The business women saluted and walked off.

"Grab all the cubes together!" Fionna yelled to Cake.

Cake stretched larger. She clasped all the triangles into her palms.

Fionna climbed up her sister's body and ran into her palms. "Okay!"

Cake opened her hands, revealing all the battle triangles tied together. Cake threw the triangles miles away.

"Wake up, Corndog Prince."

The Corndog Prince shook his head lazily, and opened his eyes to see Fionna holding the gate of the pen open. "You're free now."

"Oh, thank you, Fionna and Cake!" Corndog Prince cheered. He walked closer to Fionna, "Especially you, Fionna."

He puckered his lips together. Fionna blushes a rosy color and edged away.

"He smells like moldy bread," Fionna whispered to Cake. Cake chuckled.

Audrey noticed that Fionna was uncomfortable. She squeezed herself between Fionna and Corndog Prince, allowing him to kiss her cheek.

Corndog Prince blushed and walked away.

"I take one for team," Audrey whispered to Fionna, beaming.

"This—is—awesome!" Fionna cheered. "You get a promotion, Audrey!"

Audrey cheered and clapped excitedly.

The other businesswomen kissed Corndog Prince over and over.

"Dang it," Cake sulked as BMA rang a losing song, "Died again!"

"My turn," Fionna took the joystick from the cat and began to play the game.

Cake got off the couch to check on the businesswomen. They had set up all of the computers from the gauntlet-dock and had made some sort of tracking device.

"What's this?" Cake asked Arietta, who was wearing a pair of heavy goggles.

"Hero-vision monitor," Arietta answered. "We use satellite to use world problems."

"Wow. Is anything going on?" Cake asked her, taking a tub of strawberry sherbet out of the freezer.

"Just small things. You seemed stressed for big things.

"Cool."

"What are they doing?" Fionna asked Cake, not taking her eyes off of the screen.

"Taking care of business," Cake replied, molding her hand into a spoon and eating a spoonful of sherbet.

"Cake, hit me." Fionna said, furiously moving the joystick. Cake threw her a spoonful of sherbet.

3 hours later…

Fionna and Cake were still sitting on the couch, surrounded by a mountain of strawberry sherbet tubs, their stomachs majorly distended.

"YEAH!" Cake cheered as the game flashed WINNER!

"We beat Conquest Pros!" Fionna whooped, standing up and dancing with Cake.

"HOLY MOLY!"

"W'RE CONQUEST PROFFESIONALS!"

They froze and breathed heavily from moving so much. They collapsed back onto the couch.

"I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding." Fionna sighed.

"Yeah. Your guts so huge and moldable." Cake grabbed her sister's gut.

"Hey!"

"Just a second."

Cake molded her sister's gut so that it was in the shape of Ice Queen.

"_I'm the Ice Queen. And I'll never find a husband because I'm such a dork."_

Fionna laughed. "Let me try!" She grabbed her gut and began to mold it until it was Prince Gumball.

"_I'm Prince Gumball. I'm a dork because I like science. I also have a really annoying voice that Fionna thinks is __attractive__!"_

"Ha-ha! That's a—wait. What'd you say?"

"_Ah! Help me!"_

Fionna turned around to see LSP on a monitor being chased by a giant female monster.

"_Leave me alone! I only said you were ugly, which is totally true! Somebody help me!"_

"Fi, I am NOT in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Prince." Cake sighed.

"HEY, BUSINESSWOMEN!" Fionna called.

The businesswomen rushed over.

"What do you guys think?"

"Just one monster." Amanda shrugged. "We do."

"Alright!" Cake cheered as the businesswomen headed out. "We'll wait here."

Cake and Fionna collapsed on the couch again. "I wonder what the adventures will be like when it's time for us to go out there."

"I'm too tired to imagine stuff. But I bet you're right."

Fionna and Cake grabbed two more strawberry sherbets and toasted, "To be great adventurers!"

2 hours later

Fionna and Cake moaned half-asleep, their faces covered in strawberry sherbet and the quarts empty.

"Oh glob…" Fionna groaned as she fell off the couch.

"_Help me!"_

"Wha? Cake, did you hear that?"

"Yeah. Let the businesswomen handle it." Cake yawned.

"_Help! Ah!"_

"I heard it again!"

"Businesswomen, Fi!"

Fionna stumbled over to the window. She gasped.

The businesswomen were in some kind of humongous machine. The top of the machine was shaped like Fionna's hat with the bunny ears and the businesswomen were in the face. The machine had three legs and no arms. A long red tube was running down the side. Small dust bunnies were running around, trying to get away from the pipe as it sucked them up. There was a large pouch on the right side of the machine where all the dust bunnies were stored. The businesswomen cheered.

"_Cake! We messed up! The businesswomen have gone made crazy, girl!"_

"Fionna, just let the businesswomen handle it."

"_THE BUSINESSWOMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, YOU LAZY PLUGHOLE!"_

"Huh?"

"GIRLS!" Fionna screamed out the window. "Girls, stop it!" She leapt from the window to the lower tree top an landed on the ground.

"Stop it, girls!"

"Stop what, Boss?" Avery asked over the intercom of the machine.

"Stop jacking up to dist bunnies!"

"We're being heroes. Like you, Boss. We're protecting them: putting them in our care-sack so they can't be hurt."

"It's the most efficient way to save people," Arietta said.

"But you're making them unhappy!"

"Irrelevant!" Audrey said, "They're in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority."

"I am your boss!" Fionna yelled. "And you gals are all _fired!"_

The businesswomen all looked at each other. "Fi-red?"

They cried out in rage and went red with anger. They began picking up dust bunnies more madly. They stepped on one, crushing it.

"NO!" Fionna cried. "All right, businesswomen! I'm going to take you all down! Fionna Style!"

She ran over to the machine's leg, pried it from the ground and pulled out the limping dust bunny.

The machine sucked her into the tube.

Fionna landed with a wheeze onto the pile of dust bunnies. She ran to the edge of it and yelled, "I'm kicking your care-sack, ya idiots!"

"Fionna?" Cake slugged over to the window to see what was going on. "Oh dang…I'm coming, Fi-Fi!"

She jumped out of the window and landed with a splat on the ground. She was like a gigantic pancake by this time.

"I'm so fat, Fi, I don't know what to do!"

"That's it!" Fionna gasped. "Cake! Demoralize them!"

"What? Why?"

"Just do it, Cake! I have a legit plan!"

"Okay. Alright. Hey, businesswomen! You guys are horrible at business!"

The businesswomen cried in rage again. They pointed the tube at Cake and began to suck her up.

"They're sucking me up, Fi!"

"Now eat that sherbet some more to become fatter while also using your stretchy powers to become huge!"

"Okay!"

Cake dug her face into the sherbet quart while growing in size rapidly. Soon, she was blocking up the entire tube.

"This bombs."

"Yes! Keep going! You're breaking apart their robot!"

The robot shuddered and smoked. The businesswomen screamed.

The robot burst into a million pieces, sending Fionna, Cake, the businesswomen, and the dust bunnies flying into the clouds.

"I'm going to kill you, Not-Boss!" Amanda screamed, clawing at Fionna.

"Wait, Amanda, wait! I want to rehire you guys!"

"_Rehire?" _Avery cried excitedly as they began to fall back down. "Really?"

They all cheered and joined hands, falling through the clouds with Cake falling behind them.

The fat Cake, the distended Fionna, and the cheering dust bunnies all waved goodbye to the businesswomen as they floated away on the ocean, once again frozen in a giant iceberg.

"So wait," Cake said, "What'd you hire them to do?"

"I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get out of here."

"I'm going to miss them. And I'm going to miss my gut." Cake shrunk down to her normal, furry-tailed shape.

"I'm going to miss my gut, too."

Fionna sucked in her stomach, but her gut did not disappear. "Crud."

THE END

FACTS

· When Fionna and Cake are playing a game on BMA, the character resembles Link from the Legend of Zelda series.

· In this episode, Fionna and Cake eat about 56 quarts of sherbet.

· This is BMA's debut, though she does not speak.

R&R! :p

Yours till the gum drops,

MOONSTAR


	9. My Two Favorite People

How come no one will review my stories? I mean I only have 8 right now. Sheesh, people.

CHARACTERS:

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Lord Monochromicorn**—Prince Gumball's loyal companion and Cake's boyfriend. He is completely black with a long, gray mane, entirely different from Lady Rainicorn's multicolor scheme. He is more horse-like compared to Lady Rainicorn, although he still has a horn. He can also open black holes and fly. He speaks in Morse code, much like how Rainicorn speaks Korean. He can also neigh, despite him speaking in Morse. Lady Ranicorn has said that she flies by using light and "dancing" on it. However, Monochromicorn is black, which would mean he would absorb light. Lord Monochromicorn resembles a horse and a moonbow, a rainbow seen at night.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Tyler—is one of Cake's friends (possibly an enemy now) and Fionna's enemy. Though she was confused to be a boy, she is a girl. She wears a red turtleneck sweater and long denim jeans with sandals. She has teal eyes and a nose, as well as single earing on her left ear.

MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE

"Come here, ya smelly old mutt!" Cake yelled, running after Chemistry Dog while swinging around her Morningstar-shaped hand.

Chemistry Dog took out a green chemical from her pocket and threw it at Cake, engulfing her in a cloud of smoke. Once she emerged, she yelped when she saw that she had been transformed into a coffee-colored bumble bee. Chemistry Dog chased after her as she flew quickly away.

"Fifi, help me!"

"Don't worry!" Fionna replied, slashing away Land Whale's iron flipper from her leg. "Her charms never last long!" She kicked Land Whale in the face, sending her stumbling backwards, and slammed her ruby sword into Chemistry Dog's face, making her disorientated.

"Who are this hubs? This is the best fight I've seen in a long time!"

"Yeah. I can't believe you've never met them. They come every day at three o'clock sharp."

Cake was engulfed in the cloud of smoke once again and returned back to her fluffy-tailed-cat form. "I guess I meet Lord Monochromicorn at three o'clock sharp. Oh flipping fur faeries, I'm late!" She ran off to her yellow bike.

"You should really stay, Cake. Every day at four, I cut off Land Whale's iron flipper, and it grows back twice as big the next day!"

"Aw, that sounds great, Fi," Cake sighed, picking up a nearby purple plum from a tree and putting it gingerly into the bike's basket. "I really do want to stay and fight these creeps, but I also want to hang out with my boyfriend."

"Boo."

"I should be going," Cake sighed disappointedly, and peddled down the grassy hill. "I'll see you later, Fifi!"

"Later, Cupcake!" Fionna called back, and jumped back onto Land Whale's head, brandishing her ruby sword.

Cake took one last sad look at her sister as she dodged Chemistry Dog's Slow-Mo charm and punched her in the face. She gave a despaired groan.

* * *

><p>Later, Cake arrived at Lord Monochromicorn's house, which was more like a black observatory-dome, and ran inside to the roof, where she found him sitting there, watching the sun set. "Sorry! Fifi and I were battling this weird Land Whale and Chemistry Dog. Anyway, I'm here now, Mo-Chro. I and brought you half a plum!" She took the plum out of her fur and peeled it with her claws. She split it in half and gave one half of it to Lord Monochromicorn.<p>

Lord Monochromicorn hit the surface of the dome four times and scraped it once.

He shot a pearly beam from his horn and aimed it at a tree. The tree's green leaves turned to its anti-color, neon pink, while the brownish bark became a medium-teal color. Lord Monochromicorn had the power to turn anything's color into its opposite color.

"Do something with the river!" Cake said, pointing down to the small stream below.

Lord Monochromicorn aimed at the dark blue waters of the stream, turning it bright yellow.

Cake laughed. "That's really nice."

Lord Monochromicorn yawned. He patted the ground three times.

"Hit the hay?" Cake yelped. "But we were going to play our dulcimers!"

Lord Monochromicorn patted the ground and kissed her forehead.

Cake sighed. "Yeah; I should have come earlier."

With a farewell, Lord Monochromicorn descended inside.

Cake sighed once again. "Goodnight."

* * *

><p>Cake peddled her way home with a weak heart and cold dulcimer. As she began riding through the small canopy of trees, a small pink worm with a bowtie came out of her dulcimer. "Hey, Cake."<p>

"Oh. Hi, Sheldon."

"Why are you looking so gloomy today, eh?"

Cake huffed.

"No response, huh? Guess you're good." He descended back into his home.

"I'm fed up, Sheldon!"

"Huh?"

"Whenever I hang out with Lord Monochromicorn—whoa!" She paused to steady her bike. "I miss out on fun time with Fionna—ah!—and then when I hang out with Fionna, I miss out on Lord Monochromicorn! _AH!_"

With a final swerve, Cake collided with a oak tree, her head stuck into its trunk and her bike upside down.

"Hey Cake," Sheldon said, crawling out of the dulcimer. "Why don't you just hang out with them at the same time?"

"And then I won't miss anything!" Cake's muffled voice said form inside the tree. She pulled her head out, revealing a freaked-out chipmunk clinging fearfully to her head. "Thanks, Sheldon!"

* * *

><p>The next day, Cake invited Lord Monochromicorn and Fionna to the Evil Elves vs. the Tedious Trolls Combat Brawl with front-row seats. The Brawl was where there were two teams, with 30 players each, and the teams could either use weapons, magic, or hand-to-hand combat to take out the other team until there was only one standing.<p>

"This is great." Cake sighed as one of the Trolls pummeled an Elf. "This is great, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Fionna agreed. She had bought a Evil Elves T-shirt for the match that cost 15 dollops.

"Isn't it?" Cake asked Lord Monochromicorn.

Lord Monochromicorn patted the ground four times and scraped it once as the Elves managed to take out a Troll with a Knock-Out Charm.

Cake laughed.

"What? What did he say?" Fionna asked excitedly.

"He said he also thinks it's great."

"Oh."

"Yup."

So far, the Elves had 25 players and the Trolls had 23 players due to one of the Elves' charms knocking out two Trolls.

Cake decided to break the ice. "Hey! Did you guys know that ya'll are the funniest people I know?"

"We are?"

"Yeah. Do you guys have a joke?"

"I have a joke!" Fionna said excitedly. "Ok! So what do you get when you cross a giant with a mouse?"

Lord Monochromicorn patted the ground five times and scraped it once.

"Did he guess?"

Cake hesitated. "Uh…no…he did not…he didn't…"

There was an awkward silence as the Trolls took out another Elf with a battle ax.

Lord Monochromicorn hit the ground two times, patted it once, and scraped it three times.

Cake laughed out loud and nearly fell out of the bleachers.

"What's the joke?" Fionna asked when the game came to 20-16, with the Elves in the lead.

"The joke…doesn't translate very well…"

"Uh…Cake…" Fionna looked at the ground. "I'm all about the Elves and Trolls and Brawls and stuff…but I think I'm going to leave…"

"NO!" Cake grabbed her sister as she attempted to stand. "Don't leave! If only there were some way you guys could talk to each other directly…oh! Fionna! There's a Universal Translator Device at the bottom of Quaker Trench."

"_The trench guarded by Trench demons?"_

"Yeah. I can't remember why I threw it in there. Let's go and get it!"

"Whoa! Cake!" Fionna pulled her sister into a whispering range. "No offense, but has Mo-Chro ever gone adventuring?"

"Trust me, Fifi, he's the bomb!"

* * *

><p>After watching the Elves beat the Trolls, Cake, Lord Monochromicorn, and Fionna all ran to Quaker Trench, with Fionna riding on Cake's back.<p>

They pulled to a stop in front of Quaker Trench. Quaker Trench went miles into the earth with color-changing crystallites that grew on the sides all the way down. What lay deeper was unknown

Lord Monochromicorn zapped Fionna and Cake with another beam, making them change color with the crystallites.

"Trench camouflage!"

They all leaped into the Trench. They fell about 20 feet, and then hit a patch of soft mushrooms that grew ten feet high and were a strange Celeste color.

Fionna yelped and pointed to a nearby riot of Trench demons snarling at them, their spiky swords brandished.

Fionna leapt from mushroom to mushroom, kicking, punching, and defeating the demons with her fists and kicks deeper and deeper into the trench.

Cake grabbed a handful of demons and crushed them in her paws. Lord Monochromicorn fended them off with his horn.

Fionna spotted the Universal Translator on a nearby mushroom and leapt for it. She grasped the cold metal between her fingers.

She signaled to Cake and Lord Monochromicorn, who hardly had enough time to give her thumbs-ups before the Trench began to shake.

An entire swarm of Trench demons formed around Fionna, their swords brandished and fiery. Fionna yelped.

Lord Monochromicorn swooped next to her and shot all the demons away with his horn. They disintegrated. He grabbed Fionna and flew to the top of the Trench with Cake following after them.

"Wahoo!" Fionna cheered, leaping off Lord Monochromicorn. "Mo-Chro, you are incredible! You should adventure with us all the time!"

Cake smugly chuckled. "Cake, you sly fox, you."

Lord Monochromicorn patted the ground three times.

"Uh…what?"

"Here's the Translator!" Cake took out the device and wrapped it around Lord Monochromicorn's neck. She flicked it on. "The voice options are: Old Lady, Weird, or…Foreign?" She turned it to Foreign mode. "Try saying something, Lordy!"

"しましょうмне spune మీరు κορίτσια 1 история."

Cake couldn't even understand a single word. She switched it to Old Lady mode.

"And then, I destroyed the space craft." Lord Monochromicorn said in a grandmotherly voice that made him sound a girly. "That alien went bonkers!"

Fionna laughed. "I like this voice."

Cake switched it to Weird in a last ditch effort.

"Corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn _corn _corn corn corn corn."

She switched it back to Old Lady.

"And that's the end of my story."

Cake sighed. "Well, at least we can understand her. I mean him! I mean you, Mo-Chro."

"Come on, I'll give you two a ride home." Lord Monochromicorn said in his elderly woman voice.

Fionna laughed. "Alright, Grammy!" She climbed onto his back.

"Come on, Cream-Cake." Lord Monochromicorn said. "Hop on my back."

Cake groaned. "_Now _I remember why I filed that Translator…"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Grammy," Fionna said to Lord Monochromicorn as they soared over Evermore Jungle, "How can you fly without wings?"<p>

"Well, light travels from the sun. It bounces off of the earth, allowing us to see color."

Cake, who was grabbing onto Lord Monochromicorn's tail, was clinging onto dear life. "Whoa!"

"My body can intercept that light and absorb it."

"Mo-Chro! It's getting kind of wild back here!"

Fionna laughed once more. "Whoa! That Jungle Witch is giving away free Sorcerer Spheres!"

"Want to try and get some, Fionna?"

"FLIP YEAH!"

Lord Monochromicorn dived straight down, causing Cake to let go and fall. "LORDY! FIONNA!"

She stretched out into a parachute and landed in a river. She sputtered from the water and called, "LORDY! FIFI?"

She stretched her legs above the trees. "ARE YA'LL AROUND HERE? Dang it!"

She heard laughs in the distance. She turned around to see fireworks and explosions going off in awe.

"This is wicked!" Fionna yelled, levitating another Sorcerer Sphere as it whistled and sparked.

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Cake broke through the trees, scaring the living daylights out of the Jungle Witch and the children, causing them to yelp and run away.

"Wha-? You didn't come with us?" Fionna exclaimed.

"I thought were with us the whole time!" Lord Monochromicorn said in his lady voice.

"NO! I fell off! I was calling for you guys!"

"Oh, Honey Cakes," Lord Monochromicorn nudged his girlfriend apologetically. "We probably couldn't hear you because of the wind."

"Hey, Cake, check it out!" Fionna took out a small sack of multicolored spheres. "Check out these Sorcerer Spheres!" She took out an orange one, and it burst into flames.

"That's awesome!" Cake said in awe. "How many did you get?"

"I lost count after 24. Mo-Chro got some, too."

Cake turned to see Lord Monochrimicorn with another sack of Sorcerer Spheres. "Oh. Good for you guys."

"Hey, Cake, you want some of mine? I got so many!"

"Yeah, thanks, Fifi! You're the best!"

Fionna reached into the sack and took out a yellow Sphere and attempted to give it to Cake, but found that it wouldn't let go of her hand, as if glued to it. "Oh. Wait. I can't let them go. They must be charmed. Still pretty cool, though." She twirled around the yellow Sphere as it sparked and shined.

"Yeah. They're great, Fifi." Cake said sadly.

* * *

><p>Later, after the moon came out, Fionna and Lord Monochromicorn were in the Tree-House living room, playing <em>Super Smash Bros. <em>on BMA (LOL, love that game XD!) Cake sat on the couch, sipping out of here flowery coffee mug.

"I will DESTROY you, Lord Monochromicorn!" Fionna yelled, making her short mustached man kick Lord Monochromicorn multiple times.

"Good for you, Fionna." He replied, making his small, pink character punch her away.

"AWESOME! Power-up!"

"Hey, Lordy," Cake cut in. "Do you want to go play our dulcimers?"

"Oh, uh, I would, Babycakes, but I'm in the middle of this game."

"Oh. Okay. Hey, Fifi, after this next round, do you want to go on an adventure?"

"Me and Lord Monochromicorn are going to see the Warlocks in concert. Mo-Chro got us backstage passes. You should come with us."

Cake huffed. She groaned in despair. She groaned in jealousy. She groaned in disappointment. She groaned in—

"Cake! Stop groaning! You're messing me up!"

Cake groaned in sadness.

"Cake! What's wrong with you?"

"Nunya."

"Dang it!" Fionna said when she lost. "Lord Monochrimicorn, you're too good at this! Hey! The Warlocks are playing in 15 minutes! Cake, are you coming?"

"No."

"What? I thought you wanted to spend more time with me and Mo-Chro together."

"I do."

"Then come on!"

"No! You guys go on!"

"Uh…"

Cake groaned once more.

"We're going to go to the concert. You should meet us there. And stop being so weird."

And with that, she and Lord Monochromicorn left, leaving Cake in the Tree-House.

* * *

><p>Some time later, Cake groaned once again as she lay sprawled on the couch despratley.<p>

She looked at the clock. 7:00 am.

"They should be back by now!"

She grabbed her cell phone and dialed 7574566-48579348657-73459437653.

"_Hello?"_

"Uh…yes…hello…" Cake said slowly, realizing she was talking to Wizza, the lead singer of the Warlocks as she twidled with the headphone's cord. "I'm looking for Fionna the Human and Lord Monochromicorn? Hello?"

"_Yeah. They left a couple of hours ago."_

"A couple of hours ago?"

* * *

><p>Cake peddled furiously down the path, through the forest, and over the hill to Lord Monochromicorn's place. She stopped at the top of the hill, glanced at the tree engraved LM+C, and looked at the roof of the Observatory.<p>

Fionna and Lord Monochromicorn were on the roof, laughing madly. Lord Monochromicorn zapped a bright green tree and turned it pink.

"Yeah! Now zap that!" Fionna pointed to a scarlet rosebush. It turned turquoise. "Now that!" A orange tree turned right teal.

Cake gawked.

"Wow, Mo-Chro! Hanging out with you is the best!" Fionna pulled the Monochromicorn into a hug.

"I like you too, Fionna."

Cake fell to her knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! _My boyfriend! With my __best__ friend!"_

She angrily picked up her cell phone. "Well, two can play at that game, sugar cube."

She began skipping through the contacts. "Let's see…Diana, Tonya, Jade, Daisy, Regina, Patty, Gretchen, Lindy, Laura, Danielle, Beatrice, May Q., May J., Amy, Jamie, Mrs. Watterson, Mrs. Jolly, Penny The Princess, Captain Obvious, The Flying Grapefruits, gasp! _Tyler. _Perfect! Muahahaaha!"

* * *

><p>Later, as Fionna and Lord Monochromicorn were watching the sunset Fionna said, "I wish Cake were here. Hey. Do you hear that?"<p>

They put up their ears to hear a soft, distant melody from the distance.

"Yeah, louder!" Cake whispered to Tyler as they sat near the water reeds. They played their dulcimers louder than before.

Lord Monochromicorn and Fionna came through the reeds and saw them.

Lord Monochromicorn gasped in his elderly lady voice. "C-Cake? _What are you doing?_"

"Oh, hey," Cake said as if she had not noticed them. "I'm just sharing a tender moment with my handsome friend, Tyler."

"Stop! You're making Mo-Chro jealous!" Fionna yelled, petting a dumbstruck Lord Monochromicorn.

"Well, I'm trying to make you both jealous!"

"Why would I be jealous of Tyler?" Fionna asked as Lord Monochromicorn's dumbstruck mood became angry.

"Because Tyler's a _girl_!"

Tyler span around, revealing a girly face and blue eyes, apart from her boyish haircut. "Ha-ha-ha! Cake's my best friend now! _Forever!_"

Fionna gasped in total betrayal.

She clenched her fist as her face went red with anger.

She pounced on Tyler, sending them into the river. Tyler pulled out a dagger and thrust it at Fionna, but she quickly dodged it and struck Tyler across the face. "YA JUVENILE IDIOT!" She grabbed Tyler in a head lock.

"Cake," Lord Monochromicorn said in his elderly woman's voice, "What's going on with you?"

Cake looked at him sadly and sighed. "I guess I'm jealous of how much you and Fionna like each other."

"But you said you WANTED us to like each other!"

"I know!" Cake said in disgust of herself.

"GET OUT OF MY LIFE, TYLER!" Fionna said, socking Tyler in the gut.

"NO!" Tyler kicked her off. "CAKE WILL BE MINE!"

"I'm sorry I'm an idiot, sugar," Cake said to Lord Monochromicorn. "Do you forgive me?"

"Oh, sweet pea, I love you _because _you're an idiot! You make me feel like a genius!" Lord Monochromicorn said in his elderly woman voice, embracing his girlfriend.

"You make me feel like I'm hugging my grandma," Cake said. "Time to get rid of this junk!" She took off the Translator and tosed it into the river.

Lord Monochromicorn patted the ground once and scraped it three times.

"Yeah. Way better."

"BEAT IT TYLER!" Fionna screeched after the boyish girl. "GET OUTTA HERE!"

"YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!" Tyler yelled. "I _WILL_ BE CAKE'S BEST FRIEND!"

Fionna spat at her. Tyler yelped and ran off.

"Sorry I was an idiot," Cake said to Fionna. "Do you forgive me?"

"Shut up, Cake, I don't want to hear any touchy crud."

She put herself between Cake and Lord Monochromicorn and pulled them into a hug.

"Let's never be stupid again."

"Wait! Let's always be stupid! Forever!"

FACTS

1. When Lord Monochromicorn and Fionna were playing _Super Smash Bros, _Fionna was Mario and Lord Monochromicorn was Kirby.

2. The concert seems to go on for 12 hours.

* * *

><p>A special little someone told me I needed to be a bit more creative and to let my imaginative juices flow. So, here it is. I'm sorry if this episode's a little late. There have been a lot of bad storms here, so it's hard to get power and internet. :P<p>

Yours till the web links,

MOONSTAR


	10. Memories of Pond Jungle

Well, I have 10 reviews right now. So that's good.

CHARACTERS:

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Roughhousing women—are a group of fight-loving women who live in Roughhouse Village. They all have individual characteristics, but they all have orange skin and long, shaggy hair. They wear pelt clothes, such as bearskin tops and deerskin skirts. Some of them wear horned or antlered hats.

(Female) Cliff—is a living cliff who lives right in front of Roughhouse Village. She is very fragile and hates violence and cares deeply about others' well-being. She cries boulders out of her eyes, which can cause problems. She also lives in front of the Male Mountain, who enjoys staring at her 'beautiful' back. She has large, car-sized hollow holes for eyes, a plateau for a nose, and a very large hollow line for a mouth. She is a dusty orange color.

**MEMORIES OF POND JUNGLE  
><strong>

Fionna grabbed the roughhousing woman by her shoulders and pushed with all her might. The woman laughed and flung her head around, and Fionna landed on a table. She pounced at the woman and locked her arms around her neck.

"You're not too bad for a human!" The woman said, grabbing her by the legs and throwing her off.

"Not too bad?" Fionna scoffed, skidding on the dusty ground. "Puh-_lease! _I-"

She heard a loud, sobbing sound in the distance. She suddenly lost her competitive size and put her ear up to the wind. The woman charged at her like a bull, but Fionna jumped out of the way. "Cake! Do you hear that?"

"What?" Cake called, the metallic bunny-bear machine bucking and kicking. It lurched forward sharply. Cake flew through the air. Fionna reached out and caught her. "I think somebody's crying."

The woman lunged at her, grabbing her by the waist. Angrily, Fionna grabbed the horns on her hat and threw her over her head. "Knock it off! This is serious!" She ran off, jumping over a table.

"Come back!" The woman yelled angrily. "Wuss!"

The other woman gave a chorused _Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh._

Fionna froze at the gate of the small village. Slowly, she turned to face them. "_What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?"_

"You heard me! _Wuss_!"

Fionna jumped onto a table and landed cat-like, splattering the mugs of slug slime-juice. "Listen up, ya cold-hearted barbarians! Someone out there is crying, and I am NOT going to ignore them!"

"Oh, here it comes." Cake smiled. _"Lay it down, Fifi!"_

"A long time ago, I was playing near a pond in the jungle."

_The small, pudgy baby Fionna giggled, rolling her little toy truck along the grass. She was unaware that she was sitting directly in front of a small pond of water and fish._

"_And then, I fell backwards and landed right in the pond."_

_Baby Fionna stood on her feet. She stumbled, unbalanced, and landed with a SPLASH in the pond._

"_I cried for a day, but no one came to help me."_

_Baby Fionna cried and shrieked, stuck in the shallow pond. A father beetle and his daughter were walking by. The daughter pointed at Baby Fionna, but her father shook his head and led them on, walking._

"_That day, I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem!"_

"And that's why I need to go!" Fionna finished. Stiffly, she stepped off of the table and ran out of the village.

The roughhousing woman began to clap. The other roughhousing women joined in, cheering. "Yeah!" "Woo!" "Go Fionna!"

"She still cries when she comes near a pond," Cake said to them, "Thanks for understanding. Wait up, Fifi!"

Cake ran out of the village and caught up to Fionna, who was standing at the foot of a cliff that was slightly slanted. Large orange boulders were rolling down the side of the cliff, rumbling loudly.

"Someone must be stuck in the avalanche!" She told Cake. "Let's go!"

Cake wrapped her arms around Fionna's waist and bounded up the cliff, dodging the boulders quickly. They came to a plateau, and they stepped onto the dry, dusty orange earth.

"So…who was crying?"

"I am!"

Fionna looked up to see two blinking, large, hollow holes in the side of the cliff in the shape of almond-shaped eyes. Apparently, they were standing on the nose of the Cliff. "Holy cheese! Oh, what's wrong, big gal?" She kneeled and started stroking the surface of the Cliff's nose compassionately. "Are you crying boulders?"

"Yes," The Cliff answered, a few small rocks still dripping out of her eyes, "I have been forced to watch roughhousing women for centuries."

Fionna looked down from the Cliff and saw the village, about the size of a soccer ball from where she was standing. "Oh! I get it! You're feeling left out and want to roughhouse, too! I'll take you on!" She began pounding and kicking the nose of the Cliff. "Back me up, Cake!"

"Yeah! Go, Fifi! Hit her with a rock! And then hit her with another rock!"

"Please," The Cliff begged, "No roughhousing! It makes…me…s-so…SAD!"

The Cliff's eyes filled with large boulders and exploded, causing a massive avalanche.

Cake stretched herself protectively over Fionna, guarding her from the rocks that were falling. "Why?" Fionna asked.

"Because it's so…barbaric!"

"But…roughhousing…uh…makes you stronger and…uh…gives you an adrenaline push!"

"NO! It's raunchy and disgusting! All those women and their horribly fantastic bodies!"

"Whoa," Cake said, folding her arms, "This gal has problems."

Fionna gasped at another memory.

"_Look, dada!" The daughter fly said, pointing at Baby Fionna as she withered and cried in the pond. _

"_Don't look, sweetie," The father fly said, covering her eyes. "That girl has problems!"_

"I'll help you, Cliff!"

"WHAT?!" Cake yelled in disbelief.

"I'll stop those roughhouses from being so rough!"

"Really?" The Cliff sniffed with a sad smile, "You would really help me?"

"Yes ma'am! I'm Fionna the Human, and I am going to help you!"

"Fifi, we're not going to shut down roughhousing entirely, are we?" Cake asked.

"No…but I'll think of something. I'll figure this out, Cliff Woman!"

Cake wrapped her arms around her sister and jumped off of the plateau as a parachute.

Fionna and Cake walked back into the village, greeted by the warrior cries and grunts of the roughhousing women pummeling each other again.

"Ah! Fionna!" The roughhousing woman said, throwing her fighting partner over her head. "Ready to get crushed?"

"Uh…no…but…uh…can you guys…stop…roughhousing?"

"_WHAT?!" _Everyone chorused in shock.

"Wha-?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, FIONNA?!" The roughhousing woman exclaimed.

"Could you just…tone it down a bit?"

"Fionna. I'm sure this has something to do with your pond incident. And I can respect that. BUT HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY _STOP _ROUGHHOUSING?!"

Fionna didn't know what to say. Looking around, she spotted a small white mouse and a white rabbit.

"I've got a legit plan!"

"This'll soften your pounding for smoother knock-outs," Fionna told the roughhousing woman, tying three rabbits to her right fist. "Like punching a pillow!"

The roughhousing softly punched the woman next to her. The woman responded by nudging her with her mouse-covered fists.

The roughhousing woman laughed as a woman head-butted her with a puppy on her head.

A woman giggled as she kicked another woman, her knees and feet covered in small ducks.

"What do you think?" Fionna asked the Cliff. "All fixed, right?"

"NO! THAT WAS TERRIBLE! NOW THEY'RE PUNCHING _ANIMALS! _IT IS ABUSING AND IN NO WAY A GOOD SOLUTION!"

"I-I'm sorry," Fionna said, bowing her head in shame, "I-"

"Well, you should be! It's not fair to those animals and it's not fair to me! I might just start to cry again, YOU KNOW?!" Large rocks began to spill out of the Cliff's eyes.

"Oh, give me a break," Cake groaned.

"Come on, Cupcake," Fionna pleaded, "I have to try again."

"But this gal seems like a real wacko, you know? You don't want to get stuck in her problems."

"Yes, I do. That's what I vowed, Cupcake! To help anyone in need! No matter how small the problem…"

The loud _SPLASH _echoed in her ears. "We have to try, sister."

"Whatever you say. Sister."

"Hey, girls," Fionna said to the roughhousing women, "It's me again."

They didn't hear her over the caws and whimpers of the animals.

"Uh…hello?"

_RAWR!_

"Uh…please stop a second."

_BAAA!_

"Women? Girls? Please? I have more to ask of you!"

_OOH-OOH-AH-AH!_

"Excuse me?" Fionna tapped on the shoulder of a roughhousing woman.

"Did you just TAP me?" The woman exclaimed. "I'M GOING TO TAP YOU!"

She tapped Fionna on the head.

"Whoa."

She tapped Fionna on the head again.

"This is great!"

She turned to another woman and tapped her on the nose.

"DID YOU JUST TAP ME?"

"Yeah!"

"I'LL TAP YOU BACK!"

She tapped the other woman on the nose. "WHOA. This is great!"

"Legit!" Fionna said.

She ran from roughhousing woman to roughhousing woman, tapping them on their hips, shoulders, and faces.

"Fionna!" The roughhousing woman called, being tapped on by about three other women. "You're doing A-okay today!"

"Maybe you can solve other people's problems," Cake told Fionna, being tapped on by deer, bunnies, butterflies, and ducklings.

"Thanks, Cupcake. I'm going to go tell the Cliff."

"Okay." Cake yawned. "I'm gonna…stay here…"

She fell asleep.

The Cliff laughed in triumph.

"So, it's all cool?" Fionna asked.

"Yes! Thank you, Fionna the Human!"

"So the Cliff is tots okay with it." Fionna told Cake, taking another swig of butterfly milk. "S'all good."

"Great job, Fifi," Cake said as a kitten continued to tap her shoulder. "The women are going crazy over the tapping! They're tapping each other until they're bruised."

Fionna frowned and look around. Everyone was covered with purple and blue bruises, apparently by the tapping. Even the little animals :'(

"That look kind of…jacked up…"

"Hey, Fionna!"

Fionna turned around to see the roughhousing woman, black and blue with bruises. "As you can see, the tapping got a bit…out of hand."

A woman tapped her on the neck. The roughhousing woman slapped her hand away. "NO! We are DONE with the tapping! We're going back to roughhousing."

"No!" Fionna pleaded. "The Cliff doesn't want you guys roughhousing!"

"Well, we don't like NOT roughhousing. Are you seeing the problem?"

"Uh…I know! Why don't we move the Cliff AWAY from the village, so she can't see you guys?"

"That sounds legit, Fionna!"

"WHAT DO YOU SAY, CLIFF?!"

"That's fine," The Cliff said, "As long as you guys promise to stop roughhousing afterwards."

"That Cliff can talk?" The roughhousing woman said.

"Just promise her anything. She'll believe you."

"SURE! WE'LL STOP!"

"Okay!" The Cliff beamed. "Move me the math away, now!"

"Now all I need is some sort of hovercraft…" Fionna thought.

"NO! OVER HERE!"

Everyone craned their necks to see the other side of the canyon, which was a male, apparently divided from the other Cliff by a canyon.

"DON'T TURN HERE AROUND! I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE HER BEAUTIFUL BACK ANYMORE! IT'S GORGEOUS!"

"What?" The Female Cliff smiled. "Really?"

"Huh?" Fionna gawked. "Uh…okay…maybe we can-"

"Excuse me?"

Fionna looked down to see some dandelion sprites frowning sadly. "We need your help. We want to dance, but there is no music."

"Uh…hold up…" Fionna said. "I'll help you guys in a minute, okay?"

"Hey, quite down!"

Fionna looked up to see an elderly woman grumpily frowning. "I want some quiet so I can sleep!"

"Uh-"

"I need to be pollinated!"

"HUH?!" Fionna span around to see a fuzzy pink fur ball standing in front of an electric fan.

"I need to be pollinated to have my children!" The fur ball said…but it was a guy.

"Everyone, please!" Fionna pleaded. "One problem at a time."

There was a loud growling noise.

"My back itches and I can't scratch it!" A giant serpent snarled.

"This weather's too cold!" A snowman complained.

"Daddy! Get the flies away from my daddy!" A group of fish cried as a swarm of flies swarmed their dead father's corpse.

"That guy took out triangle."

"They took my pear!"

"WE WANNA ROUGHHOUSE! WE WANNA ROUGHHOUSE!"

"I'M A MERMAID!"

"_WHAT'S HAPPENING?!_"

Fionna screamed. _"EVERYONE WANTS DIFFERENT THINGS! AND SOME OF THEM ARE WHAT OTHERS __**DON'T**__ WANT!"_

"Fifi. Calm down." Cake grabbed her sister's head in her paws. "So this gal wants this, and that guy wants that. But Fifi, what do _you _want?"

The question sank in Fionna's minds. _What. Do. You. Want?_

_Julia the Cat, Cake's white-haired mother, walked up to Baby Fionna as she cried in the pond, shrieking and sobbing._

"_What do you want, baby girl? Why are you crying?" She asked, picking up the squirming Baby Fionna out of the water. Julia turned to her husband, Michael, a coffee-colored cat. "Michael, this baby won't tell me what it want, it won't stop crying, and it's wet."_

"_Give her here, Julia." Michael took Baby Fionna in his arms. "All this babe needs is some love and hugs." He squeezed Fionna, making him soaking wet. Fionna giggled. "See? Now she's happy."_

"_Michael, you just hugged a pond baby. So don't expect no tender love from me until we give you a good long bath."_

_Baby Fionna giggled again._

Fionna closed her eyes at the memory. "Cake. All I want is to help everyone."

Cake chuckled. "That's cheddar-cheesy, but whatever. Let's do it!"

"Are you ready, dandelions?" Fionna called.

"Ready!" They called.

"Ready, giant serpent?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Ready, Female Cliff?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!…I'm ready.'

"GO!"

The roughhousing women began to roughhouse, making the strings attached to their arms and legs move like puppet strings. The strings were attached to some flyswatters, swatting the flies away from the father fish's corpse. The flies swarmed into the ears of the elderly woman. The woman smugly threw some rocks at two small seesaws, which launched the pear and circle back to the toad and cube people. This all made a sort of musical sound, which the dandelions danced to. Their pollen landed on the pink fur ball, and smaller, scratchy fur balls appeared next to him. The giant serpent scratched her back on them. The serpent breathed out fire, making the weather warmer for the snowman (but melting her.) Finally, the steam coming from the snow shielded the view of the Female Cliff.

"I can't see anything! Is anyone roughhousing?"

"No."

"Radical."

"And I can still see this GORGEOUS back!" The Male Cliff beamed, staring at the Female Cliff's stream-covered, flowery back.

"Thank you, Fionna! You really helped everybody!"

Everyone cheered and clapped.

"Yeah!"

"Go Fionna!"

"Wahoo!"

"…I'm still a vampire."

The roughhousing women lifted Fionna onto their shoulders, cheering.

"STOP!"

Everyone froze and looked over at a frowning Cake. "I still have a problem!"

"What is it, Cupcake?" Fionna asked, stills smiling.

"This whale fell in love with me."

Fionna looked over at a small killer whale, which was nudging Cake's back affectionately. "Cupcake, that's the opposite of a problem!"

And so, they spent the rest of the day riding on the back of the killer whale through Lake Hubba-Grub.

TRIVIA

· There is no trivia for this episode. :/

This isn't exactly my favorite episode.

Yours till the jack rabbits,

MOONSTAR


	11. Witch

Well, here's episode 11 for ya'll.

CHARACTERS:

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**BUFETTE**-is a group of leeches living inside of a tree grog and the master of the temple. The leeches are silvery-white and have small white witch hats. The tree frog BUFETTE is a neon green color with a pale green stomach, vocal sac, and finger webs. She is covered with star-shaped red spots on her elbows, forearms, and knees. She wears a scarlet cloak with a large Final Star and also wears a scarlet witch hat.

**WITCH**

Fionna and Cake walked down the grassy hill, with Fionna having a thoughtful look on her face as she stared up at the sky.

"Hey, Cupcake?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever wondered what a serpent's kidney looks like?"

"Of course, girl."

"Have you ever wondered what a serpent's kidney _tastes _like?"

"_Hey…"_

Fionna looked up to see a cloaked female skeleton with leering red eyes staring at her.

"_You want some…special powers…? Special powers for absolutely free…?"_

"FLIP YES!"

"Wait, Fifi!" Cake held her sister back. "Don't get too bouncy! Just look at this lady. Lifeless, dark, shadowed red eyes. The foul reek of decay. Do you know what that means?"

"…She's evil, I guess."

"Well, evil, sure, but mostly, she's unattractive. And unattractive peoples are desperate. Hackle with her! Bump her up a bit!"

"Hey!" Fionna yelled at the Skeleton. "I wants more than special powers! What else do ya have, Skelly?"

The Skeleton sighed. _"All right…special powers and…uh…" _She reached into her cloak and a snapping sound went off. _"This weird keychain…" _She held up a keychain with a dusty rib attached to it.

"_Oh, oh, OH!"_

"Play it swag, Fifi."

"Oh. A-hem, _I gradually accept your offer, weird Skeleton."_

The Skeleton shrieked with laughter. _"YES! The deal has been engaged!" _Gray clouds thundered behind her. _"You may pick up your powers right through this passage."_

A fiery gate appeared beside her, flaming with licking flames with a pitch black, spiky cart with two seats waiting.

"_Please keep your seatbelts fastened at all times. Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle unless you want them severed off of your bodies." _The Skeleton advised Fionna and Cake as they excitedly hopped into the cart. _"Have a safe trip."_

The cart sped into the gate in a trail of flames.

The cart came out of the other gate a few minutes later. _"Please wait until your vehicle has come to a complete stop."_

Fionna and Cake waited until the cart stopped with a small squeak. _"Thank you for riding with us this evening. Have a nice day."_

Fionna and Cake ripped off their seatbelts and jumped out of the cart just as the cart and gate disappeared into smoke.

Fionna looked up in awe at the building they were standing before. The building was three stories high, with starry shingles on the roofs and blackish-purple walls. There was a giant, glowing, pearly orb sitting on top that flashed different colors in the sunlight. "This place looks FLIPPING MAGICAL! Do you think this is where we get the powers?"

"Yes…"

They both jumped and looked at the door. There was a giant eye-shaped hole in the front, in wish a glowing red eye was staring at them.

The person behind the door stepped out, revealing it to be a giant female tree frog wearing a deep red cloak with a giant star on the front, along with a matching red hat.

"Free powers for all," She croaked. "Do you want some?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Are you the gal we're looking for?"

"You young heroines seek BUFETTE, the witch."

"So…where is she?"

"She is here." The tree frog pointed to herself.

"Uh…"

"She's here," Cake said, "But she's not you?"

"Correct."

"Fifi, we should beat this wacko up until she starts making sense." Cake clenched a fist.

The tree frog whimpered. She puffed out her neck, and a small group of silvery white tadpoles/leeches appeared in her neck. "_WE _are BUFETTE."

"Oh…" Fionna and Cake said.

"So _(so,)_ you wish to be inducted _(wish to be inducted) _and be plagued to the ancient order of _(ancient order of)—"_

"DANG IT, LINDA!" The leeches turned on another. "We've told you before: if we don't speak at the same time, NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND US!"

"Sorry…golly…"

"So. You want free witch powers? Powers like…THESE!"

'BUFETTE' held up her arms, unleashing blazing fireworks and smoking green flames.

"Yes!" "Please!" "We want them!" "Oh yeah!" "I can't wait!"

"Then follow us…" BUFETTE echoed, ushering them inside.

Fionna and Cake ran inside.

Fionna and Cake practically gawked as BUFETTE said, "Behold! The Grand Hall of Witchery!"

The room was very wide and in a circular shape. The floor was polished wood that shined different colors. The walls were a dull but enchanting purple color peppered with windows. Above, all the light was coming from the gigantic glowing orb, which was still flashing colors. Around the room, frogs, toads, lizards, and iguanas were flying around the room, sparking spells and casting charms. Everyone was wearing dark red cloaks dotted with sequined stars. Unlike BUFETTE, no one wore hats.

"This is where young amateurs train to become professional witches! But I am not sure if you are ready for the responsibility that comes with it all."

"I'm responsible!" Fionna chimed.

"Me too!" Cake agreed.

"That's a lie."

"It is a lie. And I take full responsibility for it!"

"Very responsible, indeed," BUFETTE agreed. "I now bestow you both…WITCHES' CLOAKS!"

She snapped her fingers, and two spotless deep red cloaks appeared next to her.

"Whoa!" Fionna and Cake beamed.

They held up their arms, and the cloaks draped themselves around them.

"Hey! This is a dress!" Fionna exclaimed. If there was one of the many things Fionna hated, it was dresses.

"Yeah." Cake smiled, her cloak sagging off of her ankles. "But I am loving it! It's like…gossamer…"

Fionna took the ends of her cloak and stuffed them into the hem of her skirt. "There! No way am I wearing a dress!"

"Fine, fine," BUFETTE said, "Now, for every power that you master, you will receive a star like these," She tapped on her cloak, and stars appeared at every finger touch. She pointed at the biggest star. "This Final Star deems you a perfect witch!"

Cake and Fionna gasped in awe. "Hear me out, Cupcake," Fionna told her, "I shall have that Final Star! Where do we start?"

"Level One: Lintamancy." BUFFETTE answered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah! Yeah! Lintamancy! Whatever that is! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"To receive this power," BUFETTE said, "You must first…EAT THESE DUSTERS!" She snapped her fingers, and two feather dusters appeared.

Fionna and Cake held up their hands, and the dusters flew into their palms.

"All right!" Fionna whooped. She bit into the feather duster, but only coughed up a cloud of dust and feather. "This is disgusting! I can't eat this!"

"Sure you can!" Cake said. "Just do what I do!" Cake grew ten times bigger, stuck the feather duster on her tongue, and swallowed it whole.

A sequined star appeared on her cloak. "Whoa!"

"Awesome!" Fionna exclaimed. "You got a star!"

Cake held up her hands. "Observe my powers!"

"Wait, Cupcake!" Fionna said. "Don't do it until I've finished my duster!"

Cake waited patiently as Fionna chewed on a piece of wood sourly.

"One…last…bite…" Fionna whimpered. She stuck the last feather into her mouth and swallowed.

A star appeared on her cloak.

"Way to go, Fifi," Cake cheered.

"We're Lintamencers!" Fionna whooped.

She held out her hands and focused, but nothing happened. "Nothing's happening! This is a rip-off!"

"BUFETTE!" Fionna called, running up to the female tree frog. "You tricked! These stupid witch powers don't even work!"

"Calm yourself, girl."

BUFETTE slapped her in the face.

"You are being hysterical. Do you not see that you are indeed doing Lintamancy? Observe…"

She plucked a piece of lint off of Fionna's cloak.

"What exactly am I doing?"

"Mastery over all lint motes. You can also read their emotions. For instance, this lint mote is having emotional problems with her son."

"That's…sort of cool…" Cake said.

"SORT OF COOL?" Fionna exclaimed. "THIS IS AWESOME!"

"Testify, Fifi, testify!"

"Are you ready for more magic?" BUFETTE asked.

"We get MORE?"

"So much more. Like Level 2: The Power of _Clonapsy_."

She snapped her fingers, and black blindfolds appeared on Fionna and Cake's faces.

"You can't see through those, right?"

"No."

"To gain this power, you must place your hands into this bowl." A silver bowl appeared in her hands.

"What bowl?" Cake lifted up her blindfold.

"NO! COVER YOUR EYES!"

"Fine…sheesh…"

"Now, place your hands into this bowl…_of intestines_."

"_INTESTINES?" _Fionna yelped.

"Don't worry, Fifi," Cake said, "They're just noodles."

"NO! They're intestines."

Fionna and Cake put their hands into the bowl, and groaned in disgust at the slimy, slithery feel on their fingertips.

"Well done. You have groped the intestines fearlessly. For that, you receive the power of Clonapsy."

Fionna and Cake took off their blindfolds just in time to see two more stars appear on their cloaks.

"Yeah!" Fionna cheered. "Clonapsy!"

Muttering _"Clone tone drone cone," _Fionna grabbed at her skin and, as if pulling off a skin or a cloak, she pulled off her skin and plopped it onto the floor. The skin-cloak wavered until it rose to its feet, until it was as if Fionna was standing in front of a mirror.

They both whooped. "High-five!" The real Fionna cheered.

She attempted to slap her clone's hand, but her hand went right through.

The clone Fionna glared. "No touchies."

Fionna chuckled as her clone disappeared into thin air.

"Witch powers are so cool, Cupcake!" Fionna cheered. "I WANT ALL THE STAR BADGES!"

**LEVEL 3**

Fionna and Cake balanced the three books on their heads. They took them off, and two more stars appeared on their cloaks. Fionna pointed her hands at Cake, and her white fur turned pale green. Cake laughed at turned her coffee-color spots maroon.

**LEVEL 8**

Fionna and Cake span the spinning tops for a solid minutes. Two more stars appeared on their cloaks. They rose their fingers to their mouths, and hot chocolate shot out of their fingertips down their throats.

**LEVEL 9**

Fionna flipped a ruler. A star appeared on her cloak, and she changed her hand into solid steel.

**LEVEL 11**

Cake stuffed three eggs into her mouth. A star appeared on her cloak, and her fur sparkled like diamonds (or like Edward Cullen's skin XD)

**LEVEL 13**

Fionna and Cake balanced themselves one-footed on stools, with three rocks on their heads. Two more stars appeared, and their eyes turned into fire.

**LEVEL 15**

They juggled daggers, and they received bat wings.

**LEVEL 27**

They stood on flaming coals, and their skin turned to gold.

**LEVEL 37**

They shot seven basketballs into hoops in a row, and their hands shot out sparks.

* * *

><p>Soon enough (actually, a good 32 hours later,) Fionna and Cake's cloaks were covered with stars from inch to inch. There were blank spots on the front for the Final Star.<p>

"All we need now is the Final Star!" Fionna said so excitedly, that she felt like doing a touchdown dance. "Are you ready to complete the set, Cupcake?"

Cake shook her head. "Nope."

"_**WHAT? HOW COME YOU WANT TO STOP NOW?"**_

"I've got everything I need." Cake shrugged. "I have a limitless supply of hot chocolate." She morphed her hand into a cup and shot hot chocolate into it with her other hand. "I have a captivating new fur style." She gestured at her pale-green-and-maroon-colored fur. "And I just learned the best charm of all."

"What?"

Cake pointed at herself. _"Sleep deep sheep."_

She fainted into a deep sleep.

"What a party-pooper." Fionna said sourly.

"BUFETTE!" Fionna called. "I'm ready to get my Final Star!"

"To tell the truth, the Final Star is not free."

"_What? _You can't do this to me, BUFETTE! I haves no money!"

"No. No money. For the Final Star, you must take the Pledge of Ultimate Responsibility."

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure? Perhaps you do not grasp-"

"I'm ready."

"There may be a few complications that you do not-"

"JUST LET ME TAKE THAT PLEDGE!"

"My gracious, I have never met anyone so irresponsibly responsible. Alright-y, then. To take the Pledge, you must…GRASP MY HAND." She held out her slimy, sticky hand.

"That's it?" Fionna beamed. "Easy-cheesy!"

Fionna grasped BUFETTE's hand.

At first, she felt as if something like a dream had swallowed her whole.

And then, nothing but blackness.

* * *

><p>Fionna woke up groggily. She looked down, and she saw a large, shiny, sparkling star at the center of her cloak.<p>

"My Final Star!" She cried. "YES!"

It took her a moment to realize that she was standing at least twenty feet above the floor. She looked up, and she was surrounded by three elderly women, wearing cloaks with Final Stars on the front. They were all pointing at a glowing pearly sphere, with beams of light shooting out of their palms.

"Where am I?"

"A-hem." Fionna looked down to see BUFETTE standing below, observing her. "Direct your vision to the Observing Orb."

Fionna looked into the orb. There was an image of the temple, and a fiery, GIGANTIC asteroid was floating not too far away. "Is that an asteroid heading for this very temple?"

"Yes. It has been heading for this temple for over 1,000 years. Only the power of Master Witches can keep it away. Quickly, put your power into the Orb."

"Alright." Fionna focused her power into the Orb. A beam of light shot into the Orb, and Fionna was shot back by the force, but she was able to control it. "Okay…I got it…"

"Good. Now I will relieve Sister Jessica from her pledge." She snapped her fingers.

"It's about time," A woman with pale green skin moaned.

She disappeared and reappeared next to BUFETTE.

"And you will take her place for the rest of your natural life."

"Great. Wait. _WHAT_?"

"This is what you signed up for when you took the Pledge."

"That's what all the witch training was about?" Fionna shouted angrily, and ripped her powers from the Orb. "YOU LIED TO ME!"

"Young witch!"

Fionna turned around to the Orb to see that the asteroid began to accelerate. "The asteroid approaches!" Another woman shrieked.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Fionna focused her powers back into the Orb, and the asteroid flew back.

"Of course I tricked you," BUFETTE shrugged. "Who else would volunteer? BUFETTE out."

And with that, she picked up Sister Jessica and left the room.

"This reeks," Fionna said. "Elderly women, isn't there another way?"

"Nope. This is how Mother Nature wanted it."

"Forget Mother Nature!" Fionna yelled. She ripped her powers away from the Orb and jumped off of the platform she was standing on, landing catlike on the floor.

"You fool!" An elderly Sister cried. "You're sending us into disaster!"

"YOUTHFUL POWERS FOREVER!" Fionna cried, running out the door.

When she got outside, the asteroid was about the size of a baseball in the sky. The sky, in fact, was beginning to turn a light scarlet color. The clouds were turning blackish, and her clothes were turning red in the light.

"HEY!"

Fionna looked ahead to see Jessica stepping into a coffin, with Jessica looking on.

"Are you insane in the brain? Get back onto the platform! You'll kill us all!"

Fionna searched her mind. She then quickly pointed at BUFETTE and shouted, "SLEEP DEEP SHEEP!"

BUFETTE fainted.

Fionna ran up the walls of the temple like a spider and stood up on the shingle roof, staring at the asteroid.

She lifted up a fist and cried, "WITCH POWERS ACTIVATE!"

Nothing happened.

"Maybe my footing's off?" She moved her foot, and her fist glowed. "There we go!"

Focusing all of her power, she pointed to her eyes and cried, "TIGER TIGGER TIMER!", and her eyes went as green as a tiger's. She held up her hand, cried, "BEAR HAIR MARE!", and her hand went clawed and furry brown. She held up her other arm, yelled, "STEEL KILL HEAL!", and her hand turned into solid steel. She lifted up her feet, yelled, "SPARK ARK DARK!", and her feet sparked like a firework. She hunched forward, called, "WINGS KINGS RINGS!", and bat-like wings shot out of her back. "AND FINALLY, ALL THE OTHER POWERS I DON'T KNOW BY NAME!"

She flew into the scarlet sky. "With all of my powers combined, I can move the entire temple out of the way of the asteroid!"

She shot all of her powers at the temple, and with all of her strength, she tried to move the temple, but it only tilted to the right.

As she did so, Cake slid across the floor of the temple, and fell out of a window, landing onto the dirt.

"I need some help," she panted. She looked down, and saw Cake sleeping on the dirt. "Cake! AWAKE BAKE SAKE!"

A small beam shot towards Cake, and Cake shot up a hand, muttering, "REFLECT RESPECT UPSET.", and the beam hit a rock.

The rock sprang to life. "Oh. I'm alive." She looked up at the asteroid. "Huh? AH! I'M GOING TO DIE!"

Fionna moaned. "Great. My youthful idea with kill everyone."

"It was your idea."

Fionna span around to see the other Sisters standing around her, with bear paws, tiger eyes, steel arms, sparking feet, and bat wings.

"Elderly witches!" Fionna smiled. "You came to help me protect the village!"

"No. we just came up here so that we wouldn't get killed by that asteroid."

"Oh. Uh…can you help me out since you're here already, then?"

"Sure."

They all focused their powers onto the temple. They mustered all of their strength and pulled the temple towards them. The temple rose from the ground, and the asteroid filled its place.

There was a blinding light, and Fionna could practically feel her witch powers being ripped from her body along with her cloak, leaving her back in her skirt, shirt, and shoes.

Cake felt the blast and returned to her normal white-and-coffee-color and blew her into the air. "WHAT THE FUR?"

Suddenly, the sky turned back to normal, a cloudy blue. Everything looked parch, the ground a sandy white.

Fionna and the Sister witches landed face-down on the ground, somewhat burned but perfectly fine.

"Thank you, Sisters," Fionna smiled. "We saved the temple! And we managed to save a few of your twilight years!"

"You should be thanking me."

Everyone turned sharply to see BUFETTE walking towards them.

"For this was my plan all these 1,476 years."

"No way!" Fionna yelled. "Your idea was to take some old women and make them stay here to keep the asteroid at bay."

BUFETTE hung her head. "You're right. No more free powers. I now renounce all magic." She flopped down and wailed, _"MY LIFE IS OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"_

"Jeez, calm down, lady. You don't have to quit your job."

"Sniff…I don't?"

"No. Just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours."

"Oh. Okay. Good idea. Glad I thought of it."

* * *

><p>Afterwards, as Fionna and Cake were walking home, they ran into the Skeleton again.<p>

"_Hey…weirdoes…want a free serpent kidney?"_

"FLIP YES!"

* * *

><p>FACTS:<p>

Fionna and Cake lost their powers in the explosion. The explosion tore off their cloaks, which contained their powers.

Next episode will be EVICTED! So excited! XD

R&R!

Yours till the sun shines,

MOONSTAR


	12. Evicted

And now...the episode you've all been waiting for...EVICTED! XD

_Tital Card_

_Fionna and Cake are clutching each other in the snowy, bitter enviroment. Behind them, a hand is rising from the snow._

(I'me gonna start describing the title cards)

CHARACTERS

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**Marshall Lee**—a 1,000+ year old vampire and a residence of Aaa. He is Fionna's friend and Cake's frenemy. He is a major daredevil and loves rock n roll. He has pointy ears and pale skin. He has short black hair and a permanent bite mark on his neck. He wears a red-and-black shirt, jeans, and brown-white sneakers.

_**EVICTED**_

The rain poured down hard on the Land of Aaa, especially on the legendary Treehouse. The Treehouse smelled of cinnimon, apples, vanilla, and chocolate because of the hundreds of thousands of candles set up all around the furniture, walls, and floors, illuminatin everything with a flaming orange light. It was very chilly tonight. The well-known Human girl Fionna and her companion Cake were upstairs. Cake was sitting on the floor, a raspberry donut clutched in one hand, while Fionna sat in her bed, wearing her favorite scarlet footsie pajamas as she clutched her animal-hide blankets shakily.

"And as the wife awaited her carriage to survival..." Cake slammed her furry paw onto the donut, making the scarlet red filling squirt out like a bomb. "The vampire smashed her skull! JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT!"

_"No. Way."_

"Yes, way!" Cake grabbed the soaking donut and walked over to the human girl, drawing the donut closer to the girl's face. "And then, the vampire drank their vaporized blood mist. OOGAOOGAOOGA!" Cake wiggled the donut around, splattering Fionna in raspberry juice.

"Cake," Fionna glowered as the cat stuck the donut into her mouth. "Is all this that you're saying real? Or are you trying to just mess me up? Be truths!"

"Oh, it's truth, Fifi," Cake smiled wryly as she picked up her strawberry-scented candle. "Heard from a reliable source."

_"Reliable?! _Butternuts..."

"Yeah. Some _survivors _say vampires haunted this very tree."

_"THIS _tree?"

"Gooooooooooooooooooooooood niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiight..." Cake crooned, descending down the stairs.

Fionna rolled her eyes as she continued to hear Cake croon all the way downstairs. "Cake!"

"Ooooooooooooooooooo..."

"You're full of it, Cake!"

_"Oogaoo..."_

As Cake's voice died away, Fionna looked uneasily around the Treehouse. It had always creaked at night, but now it seemed a bit more eerie and creepy. She thought she saw a shadow flicker at her right, but when she looked, nothing was there.

With an uneasy groan, Fionna pulled her deep green sleeping bag hood over her head and rested herself into her animal hides and pillows. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but a strange _glub-blub-glub _sound awakened her again.

She looked down at her feet, and a small glow-worm was crawling at her feet, making small _glub-blub-glub _sounds with each movement. It spotted Fionna, and made a strange _bubabubabubabuba _sound.

Fionna angrily grabbed her _Adventures Through the Ages _book and threw it at the glow-worm. "NO WORMS ON THE BED!"

With a heavy sigh, she rested her head back on the pillow, but was awakened (again -_-) by a new sound: a strange _tap-tap-tap _noise on the window.

She looked up and saw that it was nothing but a dead tree branch, shaking in the wind. But when she looked down, she saw a rather odd shape in the corner.

"Huh?"

Lightning flashed in the distance, and she saw the shape hiss at her with sunken red eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!"

"CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!"

Cake span around from her cup of tea to see her human sister pratically flying down the stairs, her face flushed.

"Cake! I saw someone outside the window! I think it's the vampire! I think we're unprepared, so-"

"Relax, Fifi. I made that story up. I was trying to scare you."

"But you said you heard it from a reliable source!"

"I made that up, too. I was trying to scare you. And it worked!"

Just as she laughed, the window flew open, letting in a cold blow of wind and blowing out all the candles. Cake fell back, shrieking. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"No one's there." Fionna shut the window. Cake sighed in relief.

Fionna smirked as she helped the cat to her feet. "It was just the wind. Scaredy-cat."

"I am not a scaredy-cat!" Cake prompted. "I was just singing. I was singing my Scream Song. AAAAAAOOOOOHAAAAAIIIIIIIIIOO OHHHHHHHOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHOOOII II."

"You're a total wuss, girl."

_hissssssssssssssssssssssss_

Fionns froze dead. "Cake."

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear that?"

"That sort of hissing sound?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah...I heard it..."

_hissssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssss_

Fionna saw someone/something flicker in the corner of the ceiling.

She grabbed a flashlight and shone it over to the corner.

A pair of glowing red eyes hissed at her.

Fionna and Cake yelped with surprise and stumbled onto the couch.

A (handsome ;]) teenage boy with jet-black hair and ghostly pale skin casually sat between them. "What's up? I'm Marshall Lee, The Vampire King."

Fionna bit back a scream. "A-are you going t-to smash my skull a-and drink my b-blood mist?"

"P-please don't suck our blood," Cake whimpered.

Marshall Lee threw his head back and laughed. "Calm down, dolls, I don't do that."

He snapped his fingers and all the candles in the room flickered back on immediatly.

"So...You don't suck blood?" Fionna asked.

"Sometimes I do. But I don't like the blood. I just like the color red."

"Wowzers!"

Marshall Lee took out a large cherry from his shirt pocket and stuck it to his fangs. Immediatly, the cherry's red color turned a snowy white.

Marshall Lee sighed with pleasure and stuck the colorless cherry into Fionna's mouth. Fionna was surprised to find that the flavor had stayed.

Marshall Lee laughed again and flew-literally _flew_-to the corner of the room and took out a gray duffel bag from under a blanket. He let out a yawn. "I'm exhausted! I've been traveling all over the Land of Aaa." He opened his bag. "And I've seen stuff that'd make you say 'like what?'"

"Like what?"

"Well, let's see...I've found a crowd of dolphin beasts."

_Marshall Lee laughed as he rode on the backs of the dolphin beast's scaly backs, and prodded them farther with his whip._

"I've gone to the fire kingdom."

_Marshall Lee laughed in triumph as the townspeople chased him down the fiery road, no match for his jet-like-speed._

Fionna gasped in awe.

"Oh! And check these out!"

He returned to the couch. Fionna looked at his palms. "Almonds?"

"Oh, these aren't just ORDINARY almonds."

He closed his palm into a fist an reopened it. There, standing in his palm, were little, colorful, adorable animals, such as pink elephants and blue puppies.

A bright green monkey shrieked and flew up Fionna's outstretched arm, crawling onto her bunny-like ear.

The rest of the animals crawled up and down Marshall Lee's arms. Finally, Marshall Lee put them on the floor to run about.

"You're awesome," Fionna chuckled, plucking the monkey off of her ear.

Cake gave a nervous cough. "Thanks...for not eating us..."

"You girls are pretty cool, too." Marshall Lee tilted his head back into a yawn. "As you can imagine, I'm really tired. You girls had better get going."

Fionna's smile turned into a confused frown. "Huh?"

Marshall Lee frowned. "Look."

He flicked his hand at a _Home is Where the Heart is _sign. It tilted, and you could see a _ML _sketched into the tree bark.

"ML. For Marshall Lee."

Cake groaned. "Oh, dang."

"I carved it into this tree years ago. I lived here long before you guys did."

And with that, He grabbed them both around the shoulders and flew out the window, into the cold, bitter rain and sloshed onto the muddy ground.

"But really, thanks for keeping the place warm for me."

Fionna watched with shock and confusion as he flew back into the Treehouse, closing the window shut.

"Let's go, Fifi," Cake whimpered.

Fionna pounded on the door of the Treehouse. "He can't kick us out of our house! HEY! VAMPY DUDE! GET DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME!"

Cake grabbed her sister by the shoulders. "He is a vampire, girl!"

There was sloshy thud, and Fionna looked down to see her backpack and a soaking wet pillow. She looked up at the window and saw Marshall Lee teasingly sucking the filling out of a raspberry donut.

Marshall Lee flicked the empty donut shell at Fionna's face, laughed, and flew back into the Treehouse.

Fionna growled. "I. Am. Going. To. KILL. Him."

"Fifi, from all the stories I've heard-made up and true-vampires WILL kill you. No questions."

She looked back at Marshall Lee as he hissed at them tauntingly through the window.

"But what about our home?"

"A. VAMPIRE. TOOK. IT." Cake said slowly, as if trying to tell it to a toddler. "We should go house-hunting! It's fun!"

"But I like our home."

"Fifi, house-hunting is AWESOME!" Cake told her, stretching over her to keep her from the bitter rain.

"Really?"

"Yes! Believe me!"

"Maybe you do know what you're talking about."

"Bleeblopdueoughroghrg."

"Ah, stop it, Cupcake," Fionna smiled as she grabbed her pillow and backpack.

"Great! Things are about to get going our way!"

And, as if on cue, the sun peeked through the gray clouds, covering them with warmth. "See? What'd I tell ya?"

_So Fionna and Cake_

_Set out to find a new home_

_It's gonna be tough_

_For a girl and her cat_

_On their own_

Fionna nervously knocked on the door of the green stone house as Cake waited at her feet. The door opened, revealing an angry ogre. The ogre swatted at them with its beefy hand. Cake grabbed Fionna by her waist and took off like a bullet.

_Hey, a little house!_

_Fionna stuck her foot in._

_Well, that's not a real good idea, girl,_

_Cos now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Fi!_

Fionna spotted a small house up in a tree. She pointed it out to Cake, and Cake stretched her onto the limbs. Fionna stuck her foot into the house. A furious blue jay came out, pecking at clawing at them until they fell out of the tree.

_And now they're chillin_

_On the side of a hill_

_Thinking living in the ground_

_Would be totally thrillin'_

Fionna and Cake rested on the side of the hill, thinking of where to search next. Fionna looked up and noticed a burrow in the ground. She hudged Cake, and they walked to the burrow to check it out.

_Unless they find_

_Something out of hand_

_Like a mean little rabbit_

_And her handsome husband_

Fionna and Cake stuck their heads into the burrow to see that it was furnished with small chairs and tables and beds. A small rabbit couple spotted them and jumped. The female rabbit growled at them and beared her teeth. She leapt at them, and Fionna and Cake ran away screaming.

_A beehive_

_Oh noooo_

_Don't stick your foot in there, Cake!_

_You tried it before _

_And now that bee_

_Is filled with nothing but hate._

Fionna and Cake came across a beehive in a tree. Cake stuck her foot in it, only for an angry female bee to come out, shooting dagger-like-stingers at them. Fionna and Cake fell out of the tree in fright.

_Big shell_

_Go inside_

_Look around_

_It seems alright_

As Fionna and Cake entered the desert area of Aaa, Fionna spotted a large, deserted crab's shell. She and Cake entered it and looked around at the moist walls and damp ground. They shrugged and sat down.

_A dog jumps out, ah!_

_It's a bear!_

_Throwing down spells_

_for its beautiful hair_

Suddenly, a large dog jumped out at them. Cake screamed, grabbed Fionna by the waist, and ran out of the shell. The dog took off its skin, revealing it to be a bear. The bear threw down a Sphere-O'-Power, and its scraggly, patchy hair turned silky soft.

_You know you should have stayed_

_And fought that intriguing vampire guy_

_But Cake was feeling terrified_

_She was super scared_

_Of his vampire bite_

_Which is understandable_

_Because vampires are really powerful_

_They're un-rea-son-a-ble_

_And burnt out on dealing with mortals._

Fionna and Cake, exhausted, came up to a large tree at least as wide as a bus. They put down their stuff, Cake her dulcimer and Fionna her backpack and pillow. They walked around, picking up logs and sticks and stones. They set them all around the tree until they had a poor excuse of a home. They sat down miserably on the dirt.

Suddenly, the tree shuddered. Fionna and Cake looked up to see that they were leaning against a tree cyclopse. They grabbed their stuff and ran off, screaming, until they fell into a river.

Later, Fionna sighed heavily. She looked at Cake, who looked depressed and disappointed, as if her plan had failed. They were walking along the sub-fields of Aaa, and they were both exhausted.

_Oh Marshall Lee,_

_Why are you so mean?_

_**I'm not mean,**_

_**I'm a thousand years old**_

_**And I just lost track of my moral code**_

_Oh Marshall Lee,_

_Can't you see these gals are in pain?_

_**No, I can't**_

_**I'm invested in this very cool video game.**_

Eventually, Fionna and Cake reached the Ice Kingdom, shivering to the bone. They heard a screech and turned around to see the Ice Queen snarling at them from her castle. She shot ice beams at them. Fionna hopped onto Cak'es back, and Cake sped off.

_So there go our girls_

_Walking on the icy ground_

_Heading toward their destiny_

_I'm sure they'll figure something out._

Finally, they reached the edge of the Ice Kingdom and came to Icy Snow Lake. Cake threw Fionna to an iceberg, quickly following her behind. Just as Ice Queen shot another beam at them, Cake ripped the iceberg from the shore, sailing them away.

"This is wacko!" Fionna yelled, burrying her face in her pillow. "I want to go back to my old home!" She felt furry things lock around her like a blanket, and looked up to see that Cake had wrapped her ear around her.

Cake told her, "Fifi, let me tell you a little something about home." She reached into Fionna's backpaxk and pulled out her dulcimer. She strung a few notes and sang,

_"Home isn't a place_

_Let me give you a clue_

_Home is a place_

_Where people care about you."_

"I don't want a lecture, Cupcake!" Fionna yelled at her angrily. She took the cat's ear and wrapped it tighter around her. "I want to go home."

_"But home is where your heart is, girl_

_And where is your heart?_

_When it's right in there inside you_

_And I'm sitting right here beside you!"_

Fionna looked at her sister as if she had grown to heads.

"With your guardian stars to guide you from above," Cake finished dramatically, using her dulcimer-stick to point at the starry sky above them. Fionna looked up just in time to see a shooting star crash into a planet, causing it to faint.

Fionna couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I guess I'd rather be here...wrapped in your ear...than in a big awesome house...all by my...souce."

"I'd rather bed dancing with some hotties!"

"Oh, shut up, Cupcake!"

Fionna noticed that everything became pitch black. She frowned and looked up to see a thick canopy so dense that she could no longer see the sky. She sniffed the air, and cringed at the moldy, marshy scent. She tried to look around, but all she could see was yucky brown moldy gunk.

"This place looks jank, Fifi." Cake groaned.

"And abandoned," Fionna said. Her voice echoed off into the distance.

Suddenly, the brownish mold flew off of everything, revealing them to be bat-like puffballs. Cake yelped and shielded Fionna from the swarm of puffballs as they flew past, leaving her scratched and covered in small balls of puff.

Fionna opened her eyes as Cake removed herself from her. "Whoa, sistah!"

They were standing in the middle of a cave-like swamp. The water was a deep emerald green, but was actually pretty clean. All around them, there were thick, mossy trees that created the canopy above their heads. Vines were everywhere, like streamers at a party. There were stones everywhere so flat you could walk on them.

Fionna looked around more intently. You could clearly walk on the ground and stones surrounding them. It would be an awesome place to live, and it'd be radical to have a river just out the door.

Fionna turned to Cake. "You wanna-?"

"YES."

_So they cleaned up the swamp_

_And build a house inside the swamp._

Fionna crossed her arms smugly at the new home for her and the cat. They had found a particularry large, flat boulder to build the new home. They had swept away all the mold and swampy-stuff, and Fionna picked up a lot of sticks and gathered layers of verious molds to make a teepee. They hung up white and green lanterns all around the trees and had made a large fire pit in the center. They set up logs and stones aorund the pit for seats. Fionna had fished for some fish to eat (actually, she just found some dead fish by the rocks) and had them toasting above the fire. Afterwards, as Cake played her dulcimer, Fionna had taken some long sticks and had sharpened the ends to make spears.

"So what do you think?" Cake asked her sister.

"I like our new home. What do you want to do now?"

"Let's throw a house-warming party!"

Later, the swamp was loud with music and laughter. They had invited some candy people, some roughhousing women, and a few of Cake's animal friends. Cake was playing a bouncy tune on her dulcimer and mostly everyone else was dancing. Others were talking to each other or eating refreshments (dead fish and sanitized water) which Fionna had prepared.

"This is it, Cupcake," Fionna sighed, dancing to the melodic tune. "I feel good. I feel...like we really did something good, ya know?"

"Yeah, girl."

Fionna sighed happily.

_"Hey."_

Fionna screamed and turned around to see Marshall Lee smirking at her, arms crossed, levitating off the ground. Her insides went cold.

Everyone in the swamp gasped. Cake nearly dropped her dulcimer. "He's back!" She gasped, her tail frizzing out.

"Pretty awesome party you have going on," Marshall Lee mused, bobbing his head to the nonexistent music.

"W-what do you want, Marshal Lee?" Fionna demanded, mustering up all of her courage.

"Just thought I'd show you something," He smirked wider.

He flew over to a nearby tree and brushed back the mold to show _ML _carved into the bark. "This swamp belongs to me!"

_"What?!" _Fionna cried.

Cake groaned. "_Dang it..."_

Marshall Lee snapped his fingers, and a bloodred electric guitar that sort of resembled an ax appeared in his hand. "Thanks for fixing up the place for me."

"You can't take our homage TWICE."

_"Yes I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan," _Marshall Lee sang (he sings so well XD), playing an acid rock tune on his electric guitar. Some people cheered and began to dance.

Fionna choked back the cry of rage in her throat. _**"IT'S VAMPIRE FIGHTING TIME!" **_She lunged at Marshall Lee, but Cake wrapped her arms around her waist lick a straitjacket. "Fifi, no! Vampires drink your bloodmist, remember?!"

"But he's taking our home! AGAIN!" Fionna struglled against her sister's bonds, but it was useless.

"Home is where your heart is! Bleeblopdueoughroghrg, remember?!"

Fionna relaxed, but kept her eyes narrow. "Ok. Yeah." Her sister set her down gently.

"Alright, Marshall Lee, I'll let you keep this swamp," Fionna snarled. "But only because Cake's my home, and she's better than any of your homes combined!"

Marshall Lee grinned and flew over to them. "You're right. _I guess I'll have to take her, too."_

_"WHAT?!"_

Suddenly, he picked up Cake and flashed his fang.

"FIFI, HE'S A MADMAN!" Cake shrieked, wiggling and squirming, but Marshall Lee's claws only dug deeper into her fur.

"I'll bite her a bit," Marshall Lee hissed, tauntingly bringing his fangs closer to Cake's neck. "Maybe drink her bloodmist."

"FIFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !" Cake screeched in terror.

_"LET GO OF CAKE!" _Fionna cried, voice roaring and her eyes ablaze.

Marshall Lee narrowed his eyes and hissed. "Make. Me."

Angrily, Fionna punched Marshall Lee's arms and caught Cake. "Are you okay, Cupcake?"

_"Don'tlethimdrinkmybloodmistdon'tlethimdrinkmybloodmistdon'tlethimdrinkmybloodmist..."_

Marshall Lee let out a piercing howl. "No. One. Makes. Me. LET. GO. _OF. __**CAKE!"**_

Suddenly, his clothes ripped into shreds. His moonlight-pale skin ripped with gray fur. His fingers sharpened into claws. His eyes turned red, and his fangs grew at least half a foot longer. He grew and grew taller and taller. Cake hid behind a boggling Fionna. Eventually, he was a monstorous bat towering over them.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Fionna cried humbly as Cake shook like an earthquake.

Fionna leapt at Marshall Lee's foot, but he plucked her off of the ground. "Pathetic." He flung her into the marshy water.

She resurfaced, sputtering for air. "YOU'RE PATHETIC!" She spat at him.

She swam to the shores of the water. "Get ready for an uppercut, ya baboon!" She leapt like a cat at Marshall Lee, but he merely chuckled and slapped her as she flew back, leaving her cheek red. "Make me!"

Fionna tried to get to her feet, but Marshall Lee merely grabbed her by the head and flung her into the vines of the trees. He laughed.

Cake, who had been hiding, peeked out of the mossy teepee. She saw Fionna groaning as Marshall Lee towered over her. "I've got to help my sister!"

"You're blood is mine!" Marshall Lee snarled, picking up Fionna but the waist.

"LPEOTGKEPRIGHRIOGHRTTHBTIUNH RTHKNROGJNHGOJGNJNHOHNRFOHJF NFGO!"

He jumped and turned to see Cake, arms flailing and waving, screeching like a banshee. She sunk her claws into Marshall Lee' furry face. Marshall Lee howled and plucked her off of his face. Cake stretched out her arms, her claws bear, just as Marshall Lee stuck his fangs into her throat.

"Dang it."

Cake's fur turned an ashy gray. Her skin shriveled like a raisin. Marshall Lee flung her to the ground. She landed with a _plop _in an heap on the ground.

Anger churned in Fionna like a raging fire. Her blood pounded like a cannon, her veins popped out, her knuckles turned white, her eyes blazed, and her skin turned scarlet.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

With a battle cry, she pounced at Marshall Lee. Again, he caught her in his fist. This time, however, Fionna took her white knuckles and sent them into his eye.

"Ow!" He placed his furry claw over his eye. "That...actually hurt, Fionna."

Then, his fur shrunk back into his skin, his fangs shrinked, and his claws decreased. He was soon in his normal-vampire form again.

Fionna closed her eyes, expecting a punch or a kick. Instead, Marshall kissed her on the cheek. She blushed scarlet. "Why didn't you just kill me?"

"That was fun!" He said cheerfully. "That was the best fight in years! Thanks, Fionna."

"Fifif!"

Fionna jumped and turned around to see Cake, coffee-and-white and smiling, run over to her to give her a hug. "Cake?! Aren't you dead?"

"Naw," Cake chuckled, "Before he bit me I used my powers to put all my blood and insides into my thumb. See?" She held up her thumb, which began to bloat and turn red as her torso shriveled and turned gray.

"You girls are pretty hardcore," Marshall Lee chuckled, picking up his electric guitar again. "I respect that."

Fionna picked up Cake and hugged her tightly as she stuttered, "S-so does that mean we c-can have our Treehouse back?"

"Sure." Marshall Lee hissed evilly, his eyes scarlet. "_As a gift from me_."

Fionna grabbed Cake and ran out of the swamp like a bullet and into the night. Marshall Lee laughed.

Fionna and Cake ran all the way from the swamp to their Treehouse. The human girl and the cat laughed out loud as they ran into their Treehouse. Fionna sighed and took a deep breath, inhaling the piney scent. "It feels good to be home."

She opened her eyes again and frowned at Cake, who was making a 0o0 face. She looked up and saw hundreds of glow-worms all over the furniture and walls. They spotted the two girls and their tails glowed bright as they made the strange sound. _Bubabubabubabubabubabubabuba bubabubabubauba_

"Did you guys get on the bed?!" Fionna said in a warning tone.

The girls heard an odd _boobuboobuboobuboobuboobu _sound. They heard the stairs creak as someone/something came down. A glow-worm the size of a car came down the stairs, a small blue crown on her head and her lantern-sized light blazing.

"Oh, hey, girls," the queen-glow-worm said, "Come over here. Hug me."

Fionna and Cake glanced at each other with _O_o _faces.

The Glow-Worm Queen shot a transparent blue beam at the girls. Immediatly, the girls' eyes went blank and they froze. Like zombies, or mummies, they stumbled over to the Glow-Worm Queen and pulled her into a hug.

"Yes...hug me..."

THE END...?

This is the first appearence of Marshall Lee XD

Even though Marceline lives in a cave, Marshall Lee lives in a swamp.

The lyrics in the song changed from "fought that _sexy vampire lady_" to "fought that _intriguing vampire guy."_

I've been waiting FOREVER to write/type this episode. Please Read and Review XD

Yours tille the road kills,

Moonstar


	13. City of Thieves

Here's episode 13. Thanx for the reviews for Evicted! :)

CHARACTERS

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Penn-is a little boy whom Fionna and Cake assist in the City of Thieves. He is shown to be adorable and friendly. Penn is short, with skinny arms and legs, as well with dirty red hair. Penn has various bruises, scrapes, and dirt smudges on hid chubby, round face, which may be the mark of a thief. He is short and is almost as tall as Cake. He wears tattered and torn clothes. He looks as if he is poor but has many stolen treasures; this probably helps when tricking others.

Episode 13: The City of Thieves

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake stood huddled together, pressed against the wall. Fionna was clutching a bow and arrow as the shadows dawned nearer._

"Fifi, you are TOO slow!" Cake called to Fionna over her shoulder, walking over the tree tops of the forest. It was a good day, about 74 degrees, a bit cloudy for the sky. "Speed up them flanks, girl!"

"I'm...not used...to running...on all fours!" Fionna gasped, setting her arms forward again. She had long wooden stilts attached to her hands and feet, walking like Cake over the treetops. Fionna and Cake had made a bet. Fionna had lost.

"Are you ready to admit it's harder than it looks?" Cake smirked smugly.

"I'll never admit anything to you." Fionna smirked wryly. She looked up to say something else to Cake, but the cat was nowhere. She began to freak out. "Cake? Where are you?"

Cake snickered as she stepped out of the clump of bushes. She extended her leg out, and Fionna's wooden stilt stumbled on it. Fionna yelped as she flew forward, crashing through the leaves and branches (slightly scratching herself) and landed with a "Ow!" On the grass.

"Okay..." Fionna huffed as she lay on her back on the ground, her stilts snapped in half. "I-It's harder than it looks."

"Actually, you did pretty good." Cake said simply, nudging Fionna in the ribs. Unfortunately, she hit a bruised spot on Fionna's ribcage, and Fionna grabbed her side in pain. Cake was about to apologize, but then looked past Fionna. "Fifi, look!"

Fionna turned around. The forest ended before her, the blue-green trees parting. Past the trees, the ground became dry and cracked, like a desert. About 300 feet away, there was a mile-high hump on the ground. At first, Fionna thought it was a large heap of cracked earth, until she saw the strange design on the heap. She looked around the bottom of the heap. At the end, there was a half-mile long tube made of dust bones. At the back and front, there were 500-feet-wide, cone-shaped things, also made of dusty bones. She looked at front, and, as expected, there was a 900-foot-high skull at the end, the eye sockets whistling and the remains of ears on the top. It was the dusty shells and bones of an armadillo. There was a small path in the cracked earth leading from the forest to the bones. Fionna noticed that the shell had a staircase engraved onto it. At the very top, there was what appeared to be a small city.

"It looks like a giant...dead..." Cake frowned. "...rat..."

Fionna furrowed her eyebrows. "It looks like a city of-"

"THIEVES!"

Fionna screamed and toppled over.

The tree that was once next to her was gone. Instead, there was now an elderly old man with sunken blue eyes and sharp teeth. He was only a bit taller than Fionna, and he had a very long nose. He was wearing a brownish-grayish cloak. Fionna realized why she hadn't noticed him. The cloak looked exactly like tree bark.

"It's the City of Thieves!" The...Hobo rasped. He pointed a warning finger, long and crooked, at Fionna. "Be warned, girl! All those who enter the City are destined to become thieves themselves!" He broke into a crazy laughter, cracked and, well, scary. "Even you!"

"I will NEVER become a thief, ya weirdo!" Fionna yelled angrily, springing to her feet. She smiled wryly. "I'm a pretty good gal."

"Get your glasses on, Grandpa," Cake agreed, crossing her arms. "This girl is pure. In fact, she's about to help out that little crying kid."

Fionna furrowed her eyebrows, confused. What crying kid? Then she heard it: despaired sobs. She looked out onto the dusty horizon and saw a small little boy, even shorter than Cake, crying into his hands. His skin was covered in dirt and dust. Out of his hood, Fionna saw red-orange hair.

"Oh, whoa!" Fionna gasped, grabbing Cake's hand and running down the path.

"BE WARNED!"

_"Shut up!"_

"Hey, little boy," Fionna said comfortingly, touching the boy's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

The boy jumped at her touch. Fionna drew her hand back, her mouth slightly parted.

The boy stumbled back, landing on his back into the dirt. "Please! Don't steal anything from me!"

"Whoa! We won't do that!" Fionna said, tapping Cake on the head. "We're heroines."

"Yeah!" Cake said. She took her stomach, forming it into a small smiley face. "We wanna turn your frown-" She twisted the face around. "-All the way around!" Unfortunately, the turning of the face made it look like Cake wanted to snap his neck.

The boy yelped and sobbed louder.

"Cupcake!" Fionna hissed at her sister, nudging her with her elbow.

"Okay," Cake grumbled, turning around. "I'ma going to face the other way, but I'm going to keep doing it."

Fionna knelt next to the boy. "So, what's wrong?"

"Oh, it was terrible!" The boy gasped. Fionna hadn't noticed before, but she noticed he had a small bruise on his cheek. "I was trying to sell some home-made biscuits, when these two thieves came up and took my whole basket!" He pointed at the armadillo. "Then they ran into the City."

"The City?" Fionna inquired.

For the second time, the Hobo sprang up and screamed "OF THIEVES!", making both Fionna and Cake topple over.

Cake groaned. "Give me a break."

"Heed my warning, girl," The Hobo smiled hauntingly. "Enter the city, and you'll come out a thief."

"Never!" Fionna said sternly. She lifted the boy off of the ground and set him onto her shoulders. He was surprisingly light. "I'll get these boy's bicuits back!"

"My name's Penn."

"I'll get Penn's biscuits back! I'll come out of that city as pure as the falling snow! Let's go, Cake!" Fionna yelled, running down the dusty path.

"Yeah!" Cake whooped. "We're gonna purify that City!"

* * *

><p>As Fionna neared the City, she found that the City wasn't on top of the armadillo, it was INSIDE it. She ran through the opening, and the blazing sun turned to a cool air. The sky had been replaced with a brown flourish. The City was made out of oddly shaped buildings-circles, triangles, ovals, squares, you name it. She heard some cries around her.<p>

Fionna turned to Cake. "This place is so cool!"

Then, there was a yelp. Fionna turned to her left to see a short-haired girl run by a purple-haired woman, snatching the woman's bracelet. "MY BRACELET!"

Fionna and Cake gasped. Fionna's anger popped through her surface, and she yelled, "STOP, THIEF!"

The girl ran away. The woman cried out in rage and ran by a skull-father and his daughter. The woman grabbed the skull-girl, and the father screamed.

"STOP!" Fionna yelled.

The skull-girl put her hand into the woman's mouth and took out a golden object. The woman yelped. "MY TOOTH!" The skull-girl ran away.

"Stop!" Fionna said desperately. "Don't steal!"

The skull-girl ran into a frog-like woman. The woman took the tooth, opened her mouth to reveal a gap in her teeth, and placed the tooth inside.

"Mrs. Frog! Don't steal!"

"Fionna," Penn said sternly, taking Fionna's face in his hands, "It's hopeless to stop them! Everyone steals here! It's RE-DONK-ULOUS!"

"PENN!" Fionna grabbed him off of her shoulders, shaking him back and forth. "DON'T say that!"

"Re-donk-ulous?"

"No. About it being hopeless. I will find who took your biscuits. And when I do find them, I will beat my purity INTO THEM."

"Yeah!" Cake whooped. "Then I'm going to beat it out of them! And beat it back in! TWICE AS HARD!"

"We can beat these thieves while we're searching for Penn's biscuits!" Fionna agreed, and grabbed Cake's hand, flying away.

"Hey, frog-face!" Fionna yelled, running full-speed at Mrs. Frog. "I'm going to beat your face! Also, have you seen this boy's biscuit basket?"

"You're going down to the ground, froggie!" Cake agreed.

Mrs. Frog literally flew into the air. Her boots burst into flames, and she dashed above their heads.

"Whoa." Cake gawked. "I want rocket-boots!"

Mrs. Frog landed on her feet on one of the roofs. Out of flipping NOWHERE, a burly woman with pale blond hair lunged for her. She grabbed the tooth out of her mouth and flew away.

"Come back, Flying Woman!" Fionna called, riding on Cake's back with Penn. Cake kicked her paw in Mrs. Frog's face.

The Flying Woman landed on the ground. A two-headed woman with long legs sprang at her, taking the pouch on her belt.

"My pixie dust!" The Flying Woman yelled.

"HEY! MY BASKET!" Penn suddenly cried out, pointing at the Two-Headed Woman as she flew away. Fionna noticed that a basket full of biscuits was around one head's neck. "THAT'S MY BASKET!"

"Don't worry, Penn," Fionna assured him. "I'll get it right after I deal with this gal." She turned to the Flying Woman. "STEALING IS WRONG, DODO!"

The Flying Woman paused before dropping the golden tooth ashamedly.

Penn laughed. "This is fun, Fionna!" Fionna chuckled as Cake jumped after the Two-Headed Woman.

A Witch pounced at them. With her wand, she cut the basket-holding head off of the Two-Headed Woman.

"My sis!" The remaining head cried.

"My bod!" The one cried as she was carried away in the basket.

The Witch landed on a roof. There was a crash, and a very muscular man landed on the roof ahead of her. "I'm going to steal your basket, Witch!"

The Witch quickly muttered, "LAWN YAWN GONE" and disappeared, leaving the basket behind, the head still inside.

The Muscle Man grabbed the basket and dumped out the head, leaving the biscuits. A Ninja Woman leaped from behind her and grabbed the basket. She also grabbed the tattoo (?) off of the man's arm. "HEY! MY TATTOO!"

The Ninja Woman landed on the ground and stuck the tattoo on her arm. The bush next to her sprang into a Bush Woman, who took off her ninja-uniform, leaving her in a white tank top and shorts. "My jammies!" The Bush Woman also grabbed her tattoo and basket, and ran away. "MY TATTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Cake punched the Ninja-Woman away.

"Follow that Bush-Woman!" Fionna screamed, and Cake ran after the Bush-Woman as she darted behind the corner.

"I will smite thee, Bush-Woman!" Fionna yelled.

"Hey! You stole that basket from me!" The Bush-Woman yelled at a female Troll.

"No I didn't," The Troll said, hiding the basket behind her back.

A Goblin-Woman snatched the basket from her hands. "Hey! Give that back! I stole it first! I'll use my dagger on you!"

She reached for her dagger, and found it wasn't there. She span around to see the Bush-Woman running away, the dagger in hand.

"Hey!" Fionna ran up to the Goblin-Woman. "Time to enter the purification-chamber, sistah!"

An elderly man ran up to the Goblin-Woman and took the basket. "Hey!" Fionna yelled.

A hag took the basket away from the Goblin-Woman. A teenage boy took it from her. A goofy woman took it from him. A buck-toothed boy took it from her. An elderly salesman took it from her and disappeared.

Fionna cried out in anger, setting Penn down. "HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT BASKET IF EVERYONE KEEPS STEALING IT?" She slammed her fists into the ground.

"Hey, we can just steal another basket from that gal." Cake said. Fionna turned around to see a stand called _Gloves&Galore, _flourished with baskets, biscuits, and fancy gloves. "She has a lot of biscuits and baskets! And gloves. I'd especially like to steal some of them gloves."

"No, Cupcake! We can't steal! We have to stay pure!"

"Okay..."

"I have an idea!" Penn piped up. "My Dad used to tell me of a Queen of Thieves who lives at the center of the city. Everything that gets stolen from little boys gets taken to his tower. Maybe my basket is in her treasure chest."

"That's a good idea, Penn!"

"There's only one problem though. The tower is surrounded by a magical barrier, which magically keeps thieves out."

"Have you forgotten? We aren't thieves! WE'RE PURE! Right, Cupcake?" She turned around for an agreement, but Cake was gone. "Cupcake?"

She looked around until she saw Cake sneaking up to the stand, reaching for some gloves. "CUPCAKE!"

Suddenly, a woman-in-charge sprung up and swatted Cake away.

"Cupcake! What are you doing?" Fionna yelled, helping Cake up to her feet.

"It's the City..." Cake groaned. "It's getting to me..." She grabbed Fionna by her shirt. "HELP ME, FIFI!"

Fionna hugged her sister tightly. "I'm here for you, Cupcake."

"Thank you, Fifi."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

With a cry, Cake lunged for the pair of long white gloves again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fionna pounced onto Cake, pulling her from the gloves.

Fionna wrestled Cake to the ground. Cake squirmed and twisted, but eventually, Fionna pinned her down. "You...will...not...become...a...thief!"

She finally let go of Cake, wiping the sweat off of her brow.

Cake looked down at her knuckles. Small jungle-bells were attached to them, jingling with her every movement. "What are these?"

"Bells." Fionna huffed. "If you try to steal again, I'll hear you."

"Huh." Cake smirked and wriggled her hands, making the bells chime.

* * *

><p>"The Queen of Thieves' tower is right up here," Penn gasped, climbing up the last few of the thousands of steps before collapsing on the ground.<p>

Fionna stepped up behind him, gasping breathlessly. She looked up at the tower. "WHOA."

The tower stretched forty feet over her. It was made out of differently-colored bricks with a straw roof. There was only one small window at the top. There was a transparent, wavering blanket over the tower, a strange lilac color.

"Are you ready to go, Penn?" Fionna asked him.

"I'm too scared." Penn whimpered. "Can I stay out here?"

"Sure." Fionna turned around and called, "Come on, Cupcake!"

"Coming..." Cake gasped, stepping up to them. Fionna's jaw dropped at the white satin gloves on the cat's paws.

"Cupcake...WHERE did you get those gloves?"

"What?" Cake looked down at her gloved paws. "Oh, no...! I stole! THE CITY! _IT TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME!"_

"Cupcake!" Fionna groaned. "You're a thief now! You can't go in anymore!"

"Pashaw!" Cake snorted. "Yes I can!"

She ran over to the lilac barrier at full-speed. She bounced off of it, like a baseball off of a brick wall.

She looked at Fionna with a sheepish smile. "Oh..."

"It's up to me now," Fionna told Penn.

"You should find my basket at the Queen of Thieves' chest," Penn said, "Good luck, Fionna. Oh yeah." He pointed at the small window at the top of the tower. "The window is the only entrance."

"Alright!" Fionna said, walking towards the barrier, "Wish me luck."

"He already did." Cake said.

"Oh. Right." Fionna walked straight through the barrier. It felt like walking through a waterfall, but she came out dry. She started to climb up the tower.

She climbed and climbed until she reached the window. She stumbled inside the tower. The only thing in the room was a hole in the ground, in which a gray rope was going through. "I have to go all the way back down?"

With a sigh, she stepped onto the floor. The floor growled, and the wooden boards broke. Fionna screamed as she hit floor after floor of wooden boards, getting bruised and scratched. She expected to fall onto the rock-solid ground, but instead sort of bounced like a trampoline. She opened her eyes to see she was in a giant spiderweb.

She looked around the room. The walls were sapphire blue, the floors a silvery white. The floor was covered in gold coins, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, diamonds, glowing crows, and pearled tiaras in mountains. All of the gold and silver glowed in the darkness and spiderwebs. At the far wall of the room was a dusty yet plush red chair with gold torches on either side. A skeleton was sitting on the throne. The skeleton had gloves and molding boots. It also had the remains of long hair with a dirty crown on top.

"S-sorry to trespass," Fionna stuttered, worried that the Queen of Thieves was much like everyone else in the City of Thieves. "I-I just...hello?"

That's when she saw that the Queen was dead. She noticed a glont of something in the Queen's chest. She looked, and a golden chest was in the Queens'...chest.

"The chest!" Fionna smiled, stepping out of the web. "It's IN her chest!"

She walked over to the skeleton and cautiously picked the chest out of the ribcage, careful not to break any remaining bones. "Uh...thanks?"

A rat sprang out of the Queen's eye socket, hissing

Fionna squeaked and flew away.

* * *

><p>"See, if you have too much earwax, you won't be able to hear much," Cake said as Penn laid on her lap.<p>

"I got it, guys!" Fionna said, jumping through the barrier, chest in hand.

"The chest!" Penn ran to Fionna and took the chest. "GIMME THAT!"

"Huh?" Fionna asked as Penn's friendly, shy smile became a wicked grin.

Penn set the chest on the ground and took out a razor-sharp, black dagger with gray speckles.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Cake stepped away cautiously from the knife. "Easy, kid, easy..."

Penn cackled an evil snort as he jiggled the dagger in the chest's lock. He opened the chest and laughed louder at the sapphires, emeralds, pearls, diamonds, rubies, gold, and silver that shined as brightly as the sun.

"What?" Fionna looked over Penn's shoulder. "Is your biscuit basket in all that gold?"

Penn snorted. "Of course it's not! I set you up to steal this chest! I couldn't get past the barrier because I'm a thief!"

"But you're just a cute little boy!"

"AND A THIEF!"

"Well, if this isn't yours, I'm giving it back RIGHT NOW." Fionna shut the chest tight and walked over to the barrier. She expected to walk through it again, but she hit it like a brick wall.

"Huh?" Fionna touched the barrier, the feel like solid cement. She pressed against it, but it made her side hurt. "Why can't I-?"

"You stole something in the City!" Penn grinned evilly. "Now YOU'RE a thief!"

"No." Fionna gasped. She pounded on the barrier, hurting her knuckles. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I BECOME?"

As she bawled, Penn grabbed the fallen chest and flew back down the stairs. "You've become a thief, dumb-dumb!"

Through her hot, bitter tears, Fionna looked at her palms. "My hands. They're filthy. Covered in the blood of crime. I'm a THIEF."

Cake heard an echoing laugh and turned around to see where it came from. Her feet unbalanced, and she fell forward. She looked at the place where she once stood to see the old Hobo, cackling.

"What did I tell you?" The Hobo laughed. "This City will get you no matter how pure you think you are!" He guffawed.

Fionna's lip quivered, and a single tear fell down her dusty cheek.

"I was right!" The Hobo added.

"Hey!" Cake spoke up. "That's enough from you!" She grabbed the Hobo with her gloved paws and through him miles away, the Hobo screaming in rage.

"Fifi?" Cake tried to put a comforting hand on her sister, but Fionna stumbled back.

"Don't touch me! I'm impure! If I'm not fit to be a heroine, I'm not fit to be your friend!"

"Come on, Fifi, keep it together!"

"No, Cake. This is a one-way path down a jacked-up road. I've got to walk it alone."

"I'm not going to leave you alone in the City." Cake said sternly. "You're my sister. Besides, I stole these gloves." She waved her arms slightly, and the gloves shined. "These satiny, glorious gloves. So I'm just as filthy as you, Fifi. We have got to walk this path together."

"Then we shall grasp the criminal air on this evil city and use my new criminal life to seek vengeance on Penn."

"Let's go!" Cake said, and wrapped her arms around Fionna like a cape.

Fionna jumped off of the platform onto a flat roof, slid down a sloped one, and somersaulted into a chimney. She and Cake came out into a stone-walled room with a female troll sleeping in a bed. Fionna grabbed a nearby bow and a quiver and ran out the window. Fionna then pounced into another building and into another. From that one, a ninja shoppe, she grabbed two silver samurai swords and ran out.

A female cow was bathing herself in a warm bath and took out a light blue soap bar. Fionna ran by the window and grabbed the soap. The cow shrieked.

* * *

><p>Penn laughed as he stood in his tent in the corner of the city, observing a large diamond from the chest. He had stolen much more, bows, arrows, quivers, swords, daggers, and even katanas.<p>

He heard a _snap _of a twig.

"Wha-?" He span around but saw no one. "Is someone there?"

Silence.

He paused before grinning again and going back to the diamond.

_"PENN."_

Penn jumped. He took out his wicked dagger, pointing it around for protection.

_"It's me. The heroine whose purity you stole! I am here to act my revenge upon you._"

Something flew by him, brushing his side. Penn yelped and span around to see Fionna, Cake wrapped around her shoulders.

Cake waved at Penn. "Hi, Penn."

"Fionna, please don't punch my lights out!" Penn begged as Fionna began to circle him like a panther. "I'm just a poor, homeless, little boy."

"I trusted you, Penn." Fionna hissed. "You made me STEAL! You took my purity! You RUINED ME!"

"I'm so sorry, Fionna." Penn slowly stepped over to a small bag full of gold. "Let me give you some gems, or gold or...SOME KNIFE IN YOUR NECK!"

He pulled out the dagger again and lunged for Fionna.

"WATCH OUT, FIFI!" Cake said.

She took off her gloves and threw then at Penn's face. Penn became blinded and stumbled over a sack of gold.

"Thanks, Cupcake," Fionna smiled at her sister.

"Of course, Fifi."

"You may have soiled my purity," Fionna growled, towering over the fallen Penn. "But I think you can still come out clean." She took out the blue bar of soap. "Come on, Cake!"

Fionna pinned Penn to the ground. Cake chuckled as she brought in a large bucket of water. She splashed the water on Penn. who screamed and yelled. Fionna scrubbed all over Penn so quickly, the entire tent was soon an entire pool of blue bubbles and water.

Eventually, all of the bubbles died away. Penn stood there, smiling broadly, hair groomed and his bruises disappeared.

"Nice work, Fifi." Cake said.

"He's purified." Fionna beamed.

"I feel so clean." Penn cheered. "Like all of the filth and wrong-doing of the city are gone." He jumped to his feet. "Thanks, F&C. I haven't felt like this since I was young!"

"You're welcome!"

"Fifi, the soap got on us, too!" Cake said. Fionna looked down at her squeaky-clean skin and spotless clothes.

"We're clean!" She cheered. "This good deed we did has purified us once again! WE'RE PURIFACATERS!"

She could practically see and hear the small angels trumpeting a song of victory.

The angels took her swords.

"Fionna, thank you for a second chance for a pure life." Penn smiled.

"Your welcome." Fionna said. "And remember, NO MORE STEALING."

"Never again."

"Well, I guess it's time for us to get the math out of here."

"I'm going to miss you, Fionna!" Penn said, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm going to miss you, too."

"Goodbye!" Penn ran from the tent.

Cake turned back to Fionna and jumped. "Whoa, Fifi! Where is your shirt?"

Fionna frowned and looked down at her white undershirt. "What? !"

TRIVIA

When Fionna, Cake, and Penn enter the City of Thieves, a small piece of cheese can be seen about to be eaten by a mouse to the lower left of the screen, only to have it be stolen by an arm that appears from off-screen, signifying how fast things are stolen in the city before they even enter all the way.

At some point, Penn's basket is stolen by a witch. The witch disappears as the Burly Man draws onto her. The Witch is wearing a cloak similar to Fionna and Cake's in WITCH.

In one corner of the inside of the tent, you can see both a shotgun, and a sub-machine gun.

R&R  
>Yours till the dragon flies,<br>Moonstar


	14. The Wizard's Garden

CHARACTERS:

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**Wizard-**is an evil elderly man who strips Cake of her powers. He has pale skin, wide red eyes, and a long, greasy black beard. He wears a dirty gray cloak with sandals and carries around a silver cane. He may be crazy, because he talks to his plants and twitches when angry.

The Wizard's Garden

**Title Card**

_Fionna tried with all of her might to push Cake into the river as Cake fought back, her dress muddy and torn. The Wizard twitched and laughed._

The female turtle uneasily glanced back at Fionna and Cake as they continued to follow her. The turtle clutched the silver tiara tighter.

"Fifi," Cake whispered, "How much longer are we going to follow this turtle?"

"I just want to see her put on that tiara."

The Turtle ran forward and slipped between the solid gold bars. Fionna looked up at the tall gates. There was no way she was going to get in through them. She looked around for another way in, but everything surrounding the gates was made of thick thorns.

She and Cake both looked through the gates. The tunnel inside was thorny and spiky and covered in bones. At the end of the tunnel, a light glowed. Oh, how they wanted to go to the light!

"Too bad we don't have the key," Fionna grumbled, gesturing to the basketball-sized, gold lock with the tiny keyhole.

"What are you talking about?" Cake pulled at her furry legs. "I got two keys right here."

Fionna laughed and hopped onto her sister's back. Her sister stretched both of them far over the thorny barrier and landed with a _thud _onto the grass.

"WHOA..."

The grass was an emerald green, literally sparkling in the sun. There was a ring of bushes, all forest green, the wood gold and pure. All of the bushes were covered in some kind of candy-from softy rich caramels to pink sugary gum. Butterflies and bees flew from treat to treat, sucking off the sugar and moving onto the next. It looked like a garden for Willy Wonka's factory.

"This place is sweet!" Cake cheered. "Literally."

Fionna walked over to a neon green bush with bronze branches. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at the treat on the bush. "What are these?"

"They look like lollipops." Cake said.

"What if they're POISONOUS lollipops?" Fionna gasped.

Cake tapped her chin and set her ear up against a red, heart-shaped lollipop. "Hmmm..."

"Yeah!" Fionna beamed. "Hear out that poison!"

"Hmmm...hmmmmm..." Cake turned the lollipop this way and that, fixing her ear into different angles. "Wait." She put her hands on her hips and faced Fionna. "I dunno what poison sounds like."

"HEY!"

Fionna and Cake both turned to see an old wizard with a long, greasy, black beard and wearing a gray cloak. He was limping slowly towards them, obviously depending on his silver cane to move. "TURNMAFO!"

One minute, Fionna and Cake were standing next to the lollipop-bush. The next minute, they were standing where the Wizard once stood. Fionna furrowed her eyebrows. She had her turn with magic, and you usually said stuff that rhymed, like "CAKE-SHAKE-LAKE." He said "TURNMAFO!" He was a different kind of Wizard.

"What gives?" Fionna asked.

"You ate one of my lollipops!" The Wizard cried.

"No I didn't, I just listened to it." Cake said confusedly.

The Wizard trembled with rage, shrieking and yelling. Fionna and Cake jumped.

"YOU'RE LYING!" The Wizard yelled. "The stink of dirty cat tongue is everywhere!"

"Holy snail, dude, calm down!" Fionna said.

"Listen, Mr. Wizard-" Cake began.

"I never married!"

"Well, I never ate your lollipop!"

"Y-You're eating one right now!"

"No, I'm not!" Cake looked down at her paw and jumped at the red, heart-shaped lollipop. "Whoa, daddy! That's odd. I don't even remember grabbing this. Oh, well. My subconscious must be hungry, eh? Meh." Cake shrugged and popped the rest of the lollipop into her mouth.

The Wizard trembled with white-hot rage. He held up his cane, which glowed a blood-red. "MAGICO-NOMORCO!"

"Uh-oh."

Fionna yelled at the flash of red that nearly blinded her. The light went away, and she looked down at Cake, who was trapped in a cloud of red smoke. "Cake! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel a little...AH!" Cake yelped when the smoke disappeared. Her once white-and-coffee-colored, furry body was now replaced with a humanoid little girl's from the neck-down. Instead of her coat of fur, Cake was now wearing a frilly pink dress.

The Wizard snickered.

"WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU?" Fionna screamed.

"I stripped her of her magical powers!" The Wizard laughed.

"FOR TAKING ONE OF YOUR BILLIONS OF LOLLIPOPS?"

"Yeah," Cake huffed, "It's not like I killed your wife or any-"

"I. AM. NOT. MARRIED."

"The thing is, you over-reacted." Fionna told him calmly.

"And what is this dress made out of?" Cake said, pulling at the him of her dress with her pudgy fingers. "Cause it keeps riding up!"

"The only way I will give back your powers is if you admit you stole my lollipop and say you're sorry!" The Wizard declared. "AND MEAN IT! Cos I can tell."

"Well, you can forget it!" Cake said. "Because you are KA-RAY-ZEE!" She frowned at turned to Fionna. "Right?"

"Total support, gal." Fionna said solemnly, placing her hand on Cake's pudgy, flabby arm.

The Wizard cried out in frustration and pointed his cane at them. "GOBACKOX FROMOX WHEREOX YOUOX CAMEOX!"

"Now you're just making these up!"

Fionna and Cake disappeared.

Twitching, the Wizard stroked a nearby treat on a bush. "It's okay, my sweet little treat. You're okay." He paused, examining the little treat. "Wait a minute...YOU'RE A COUGH-DROP!"

The cough-drop's form turned into a frilly pink dress.

* * *

><p>"There's got to be a way to get your powers back!" Fionna muttered, pacing around the Treehouse, arms folded. She paused and faced Cake, who was strewn across the couch. "Where did they come from, anyway? Were you born with them? Or DID YOU HAVE A FREAK ACCIDENT?"<p>

"That takes me back." Cake sighed. She frowned deeply and creased her forehead. "Let me just...remember..." She groaned, obviously trying her best. "I was just a kitty...I'm rolling around in a puddle...And...I love it...and..." She gasped and her arms went limp. "And then I got my powers, I guess. Remembering is hard work."

"Then our course is clear!" Fionna said. "We'll roll you in every puddle in Aaa until we find the one that will restore your powers!"

"That's nuts, Fifi. Do you have any idea of how many puddles are in Aaa? Four. Maybe even five."

"Cake, come on!" Fionna coaxed her sister. "Maybe the first puddle we find will be the right one!"

"Nonsense!" Cake smiled. "But I like it!"

"Let's go!" Fionna cried, and leaped out the window.

"Let's do it!" Cake leaped after her.

Fionna landed cat-like on the ground, on her legs, one fist on the ground.

Cake fell face-first next to her.

"Oh my glob!" Fionna gasped.

Cake groaned. "I forgot I don't have magic powers anymore. How do we search for the mud without my powers?"

"We run!" Fionna said, jogging around the cat in a circle. "We run like kids high on sugar!"

Cake frowned as she watched Fionna run down the hill energetically.

"This whole time I thought running was some kind of foot-magic."

She began to slowly jog about 1/100 miles per hour. She began to pant and sweat and soon collapsed by about three feet.

"Running...is...evil..."

"Come on, lazy-pants." Fionna coaxed, kneeling next to the fallen cat.

"Too...hard..."

"...I guess you _could _ride on my pack." Fionna said, leaning backward so that Cake could touch her green backpack.

"I can't reach." Cake moaned, groping for Fionna's backpack but not being able to touch it.

Fionna leaned back so that she almost fell over. Cake wrapped her fat arms around the human girl's neck, and Fionna gasped at the loss of air.

"Are you okay, Fifi?" Cake asked as Fionna began to numbly run.

"You're..._urk..._strangling me a little, is all."

* * *

><p>The two girls eventually reached the desert-lands of Aaa. They came across a river floating with a garbage and junk and trash. Anything you could name was in there, muddy and dusty and grimy.<p>

"Look!" Fionna pointed across the river at a large, foot-deep puddle of water. "A puddle!"

Cake set down on all-fours, as if about to pounce. "I'll stretch into...A BOAT!" She heaved forward with all her might, but only ended up toppling over. She sighed. "I really miss that power of mine."

"We can swim this river easy-peaky sugary-queasy." Fionna smiled, and leaping into the river, paddling across. "Come on, Cake!"

Cake sighed. "That looks exhausting."

_"It is exhausting!"_

Cake looked around until she saw a perfect image of herself sitting on one of the plush chairs in the river, except the image was her former self, fully-furry and tailed.

"What are you?"

_"I am your subconscious!" _The image said.

"Oh. Why are you hear?"

_"I'm here to tell you that what you're feeling inside is true. It is way to hard to cross the river." _Subconscious-Cake said, taking a large green hat out of the trash and walking across the river to Cake. _"It's easier to have a hat. Here."_

Cake chuckled and took the hat. "I'm glad I met you."

Fionna frowned and turned around at the bank of the river. Cake was talking, but no one was there. "Cake! Stop talking to yourself. Swim over already!"

"I can't swim that river, Fifi!" Cake called. "My subconscious says it's too hard! Check out this hat, though!"

Fionna growled and grit her teeth. "Then just wait for me!" she called before plunging deep into the river.

She rose at the bank next to Cake a few minutes later, an armful of junk in her arms.

"What cha workin' on, Fifi?" Cake asked.

The thing Fionna was building looked odd. She had two sturdy, large sticks lined up next to each other. She had a very large, car-sized rubber-band. The two end of the rubber band were tied around the two sticks. There was a small chair standing behind the sticks, and the rubber-band was set against the back of the chair.

Fionna huffed, turned to Cake, and gestured to the chair.

"Oh, you made me a chair?" Cake said, sitting down on the wooden, grimy chair.

Fionna picked the chair off of the ground and walked backward, pulling the chair with her. The rubber-bands seemed to about to snap.

Fionna let go of the chair. The chair shot forward, and Cake flew through the air, screaming.

Cake eventually landed in the puddle. The chair fell in the river.

"Did it work?" Fionna asked, running across the river as Cake rolled in the puddle.

"Yeah! It's working!" Cake beamed. "In fact, you should roll in the puddle with me! Then we can BOTH be magic!"

Fionna gave a whoop of excitement and leaped into the puddle. For the next five minutes, the two girls rolled and splashed in the puddle until the water turned muddy.

Fionna froze. "This isn't working at all."

"This isn't the right puddle." Cake said. "I was just hoping that this would be over and done."

Fionna sighed, trying to hold back her anger. "Okay. Let's go find another puddle."

"Actually," Cake laid down in the muddy water. "I'm feeling a little tired. Can we do this tomorrow?"

"This is stupid!" Fionna groaned. "Just go back to the Wizard to get your powers back!"

"Never! I'd rather be powerless forever than apologize! I'm lazy, but full of pride."

Fionna couldn't hold back her anger anymore. _"YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING! FIRST YOU DON'T RUN, AND NOW YOU JUST WANT TO STAY IN A PUDDLE LIKE A BIG FAT LOG!"_

"Adventuring is too much hard work for a cat without her powers."

"But you're an adventurer!" Fionna pleaded.

"Nah. From now on, I'm just a regular old cat." Cake said, plopping down in the mud. Fionna gawked. "It's ironic, giving my current girl-baby body."

Suddenly, the sun disappeared. Fionna and Cake both frowned and looked up at what was shadowing the sky. There seemed to be a giant, truck-sized ball of trash and grime. The ball exploded, and a figure emerged from it.

"Behold! Gretchen, the dashing merman of the river!" The figure said. The figure seemed to be a large skeleton with sunken white eyes. He had greasy black hair tied into a scraggly ponytail. He was UGLY. And creepy.

Fionna shivered in disgust.

"Which one of you mortal girls wants to mate with all this?" Gretchen asked seductively.

"Oh! Um..." Fionna paused as she looked at the ground. "How do I say 'you're the grossest thing ever!' without offending you?"

It already offended Gretchen. His bony hands burst into red flames, and he hissed like a snake.

"I'll scare him off, Fifi!" Cake said. She knelt down and screeched like a Halloween feline.

Fionna pushed Cake out of the way as Gretchen fired a flaming red fireball at them.

"How do we beat power like that?" Fionna wondered aloud.

"Fifi! I have an idea!"

"What is it?"

"Scratch behind my ear. I can't reach it."

Fionna hissed in anger and frustration. She grabbed a nearby, sharp stick and lunged at Gretchen.

Gretchen spat a blackish-blue goop at Fionna. Fionna fainted and collapsed.

"Fifi?" Cake inquired when she heard Gretchen's evil laughter.

Gretchen took Fionna's unconscious body in his teeth and flew away to a nearby, fifty-foot-tall tree with a eighteen-wheeler-sized nest at the top.

"FIFI! COME ON, FIFI! YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF!" Cake screeched, running on all-fours to the base of the tree.

Gretchen plopped Fionna's body between the three, car-sized eggs.

"Oh, gee wiz!" Cake gasped. "I'M BACK ON THE TEAM!" She attempted to climb up the trunk of the tree, but only ended up sinking to the ground. She tried again, but collapsed on her back. "I'LL SAVE YOU!"

"...C...Cake...?" Fionna muttered as sharp, black beaks began to break through the egg's shell.

Cake panted and sweated by the fifth try. "Hey, Fifi, can you help me to get up there?"

The beaks snapped their razor-sharp teeth, chanting, "Hungry! Hungry!"

"Oh, if only I had my powers back..." Cake moaned.

_The only way I will give back your powers is if-_

"I know!" Cake yelled. "I have to apologize to that Wizard."

As she ran, her subconscious told her, _"It's too hard, Cake. Just wear this jacket instead-"_

Cake slapped her. _"AH!"_

* * *

><p>"Oh, you're doing so well," The Wizard cooed to a new gummy-bear bush as he planted it into the ground. "AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"<p>

"Hey! Wizard!"

The Wizard frowned and turned to the gates to see Cake trying with all her might to squeeze through the bars, her dress covered with sweat stains. "Please! I need my powers! Now! I'm sorry! (Grunt) I am SO sorry I ate your stupid lollipop!"

"Hmmm..." The Wizard paused. "COMOCUS!"

Cake appeared next to him, still trying to heave through the-

"Oh." Cake set her foot down and pleaded, "CAN I PLEASE GET MY POWERS BACK NOW?"

"Hmmm..." The Wizard wryly smirked. "Apology denied."

"What?" Cake gasped. "WHY?"

"Because you took too long. Now you have to apologize while doing a variety of humiliating things."

"What? No way, Jose!"

_"Come on, Cake." _Her Subconscious said. _"You have to do it for Fifi."_

"Who is that?" The Wizard demanded.

"She's my subconscious."

"Oh. Then she has to do it, too."

_"Dang it."_

* * *

><p>Later, as Cake and Subconscious-Cake slow-danced slowly, Cake said, "I, Cake the Cat, while slow-dancing with my Subconscious, with peanut butter in my dress, do humbly apologize-"<p>

"Wait, wait. Start over." The Wizard said, taking out a video camera.

"You're recording this?" Cake exclaimed.

"It's for my website, _._"

"No way!" Cake cried. "I have my dignity!"

"Then guess what, Cool-Cat? You can forget about getting your powers back."

As he left, Cake turned to her Subconscious. "What do we do now?"

Suddenly, Subconscious-Cake coughed groggily and toppled over. _"I'm dyin', Cake."_

"WHAT?"

"She said she's dying." The Wizard said casually, patting his gummy-worm bush. "Let that be a lesson to you, wormies."

"Why are you dying, sis?" Cake asked, taking her Subconscious in her arms.

_"Because I'm the subconscious of your old magical self." _Subconscious-Cake coughed again. _"Goodbye, Cake." _She went limp.

"No." Cake shook her back and forth. "No, no, NO! WHY?" Angrily, she turned to the Wizard. "You killed my Subconscious!"

"..."

"...Oh, who am I kidding?" Cake fell on her knees. "It was me who killed her. Me and my stupid pride." She sobbed hysterically.

"So I've finally broken you." The Wizard grinned.

Cake gasped in sorrow. "Y-yeah...If only (sob) I were a humbler gal...(sob)...my Subconscious would still be alive (sob) and my sister wouldn't be trapped in a merman's nest!"

"YES!" The Wizard cheered. "GLOAAAAAT! Okay. You've learned your lesson. I forgive you." He tapped Cake's head with his cane.

Cake's dress disappeared, and her furry body returned. She brightened and beamed. "My powers!" She rested her hand gratefully on the Wizard's arm. "How can I ever thank-"

She slapped the cane from his hand. "GOTCHER CANE!"

"MY BALANCE!" The Wizard fell over onto the grass.

Cake and Subconscious-Cake, alive and cheerful, both laughed. Cake grabbed a nearby lollipop and popped it into her mouth.

"WAIT!" The Wizard called. "HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON?"

"Nope!" Cake called as she and her Subconscious stretched away.

* * *

><p>Fionna felt something warm drip onto her face. "Huh?"<p>

She opened her eyes groggily.

"HUNGRY! HUNGRY!" The baby mermen cried.

Fionna screamed as they cornered her in the nest.

"WILLA! BILLA! SALLY!" Gretchen cried. "Devour the intruder! Remember to save the heart for desert."

Just as the mermen corned her, and Fionna closed her eyes, someone yelled, "HONEY! I'M HOME!"

"Why don't I give you a big kiss?" Cake asked Gretchen.

"What? Are you talking to me or-"

She stretched her lips into Gretchen's face, and Gretchen was pushed all the way back into the river, shrieking.

"Aw, you guys are so cute!" Cake cooed to the baby mermen. "I could just MAUL YOU TO DEATH!"

The mermen cried and flew from the nest.

"CAKE!" Fionna leapt onto the cat's face, hugging her muzzle. "I never should have doubted you!"

"I'm glad you learned your lesson." Cake chuckled as Fionna climbed onto her head. "In a crunch, there's nothing I wouldn't do for ya!"

"Is that how you got your powers back? By apologizing to the Wizard?"

"Uh...no...I uh...found the right puddle...heh-heh..." O_O;

* * *

><p>The princes all laughed as they watched Cake dancing in the video on the computer. Prince Gumball snickered, LSP guffawed, and Wildberry Prince fell out of his seat.<p>

Lord Monochromicorn hung his head. He scraped his foot on the ground once.

**TRIVIA**

Cake steals the Wizard's lollipop without realizing it, just as she did in the City of Thieves.

This is the first episode where the author used cut scenes from the storyboard.

The Wizard must be a different kind of wizard than the ones in the previous episodes, because he does not say rhyming words.

The River of Junk is shown beneath the ruins of a large freeway ramp, indicating perhaps that a landfill may have been situated nearby from before the Fungi War.

* * *

><p>How do you like it? I got that extra stuff from the storyboard.<p>

Please R&R!

Yours till the starry skies,

MOONSTAR


	15. What is Life?

CHARACTERS:

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

**N.E.P.T.A.-**(short for Never-Ending-Pastry-Throwing-Appliance) is a small robot created by Fionna to prank Cake. She is about 2 years old, and is sort of confused with the new world she has been created to. She is an ash-gray microwave with a rusty silver arm on her right side. She has a small battle-ship-gray can on the top of her with a poorly scribbled face, with wires poring out, intending to be her face, but the gray dials on her left side became her face instead. She has four black wheels on the bottom of her to move. She also has a sort of button on the bottom of her face (which purpose is unknown.) She has a cracked light-bulb on the inside of her.

What is Life?

_Title Card_

_The multiple balloons soared Fionna through the air. Fionna looked thoughtful, almost confused._

Fionna sighed lazily as she played a video game on BMO. It was raining harshly outside, and there were no adventures for the heroine.

There was a plopping sound, and Fionna looked up to see that Cake had just come up the stairs, plopping down a large garbage bag. She was chuckling and giggling like crazy.

"What so funny?" Fionna asked.

"Oh, ya know..." Cake heaved with a giggle, pulling up the garbage bag. "Just carrying this garbage bag...full of honey...upstairs..." She giggled again.

Fionna looked up in confusion. "That's not funny."

Suddenly, Cake lifted the bag above her head and threw it at Fionna with all of her strength. Fionna yelped as the bag burst, covering her in sticky, gooey, amber honey all over her.

Cake laughed hysterically and fell on the floor, clutching her sides.

"I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that coming!" Fionna growled, slapping her hand with frustration, squirting sticky honey from her palm.

"Yeah, I'm a genius." Cake said smugly.

"You have offended my honor, Miss." Fionna said dramatically, leaning across the table to stare at Cake intensely. "And in doing so, you have awakened the pranking demon that sleeps in my soul." She leaned so close that she was practically nose-to-nose with the cat. "The demon is going to prank you..." She jumped up. "SO HAAAAAAAARD!"

"Whatever. I'm going to take a nap." Cake yawned and fell asleep, letting her head fall onto her back while walked upstairs.

"That's right, suckah!" Fionna called. "Nap it up! For when you awake, the pranking demon will be upon you!"

The door squeaked shut.

"What am I going to do?" Fionna asked herself. She began thumping her head against the table. "Nothing's better than throwing a big bag of honey at someone! It's the best prank ever!"

She grabbed a nearby, moldy book. "Maybe this book of pictures can help me!"

She opened the book. "ANSWER ME, BOOK! WHAT'S BETTER THAN HONEY?"

She looked at a unicorn. "A horse..."

A battle ship. "A board-game..."

A pilgrim. "A hobo..."

She randomly flipped through. "A nerd...a turtle...a wedding ring...a bakery..."

She flipped the book back. "Wait! Book, rewind!" She turned back to the picture of a baker putting in a tray of rolls into the oven. "That's it! I'LL THROW RANDOM PASTRIES AT CUPCAKE'S FACE! _FOREVER! _All I have to do is build a never-ending-pastry-thowing-appliance!" She laughed evilly, like a villan about to murder.

* * *

><p>The rain still pounding, Fionna was now in the garage of the Treehouse, digging through box after box, taking out various items for the appliance. She began to sing to herself.<p>

_"I'm gonna build me a pastry throwin' robot_

_That throws never ending PASTRIES_

_On Cake's ugly FA-ACE_

_and she won't know what hit her_

_Cause the pastries are_

_N-N-N-N-NEVER N-N-N-N-NEVER N-N-N-NEVER ENDING._

_It's never ending pastry throwing time!"_

Fionna looked at her new creation. A rusty microwave with a cracked light-bulb with a metal fork on the right side and knobs on the left. She had a soup can with a badly scribbled, feminine face on top of the microwave, wires pouring out of the top. She had taped a small button onto the bottom of it. The last things it had were four small wheels on the bottom.

BRILLIANT!

She waited for the robot to come to life. "Come on!"

"..."

"...come on, dude!" Fionna pushed the button on the robot. "Turn on!"

"..."

"Come on!" Fionna yelped angrily. She kicked the robot, who remained motionless. "I used a lot of metal junk and wires! Why isn't it working?"

She picked up the robot and threw it into the harsh rain, and it landed on its side with a crash.

Fionna breathed heavily. "I'll never make a prank better than Cupcake's bag of honey."

Then, there was a crack of thunder, and a lighting bolt shot out of a sky. It hit the robot with a blinding flash.

The robot yelped.

"HOLY STUFF!" Fionna yelped in awe.

The robot landed on its front. "Ouch!"

"It talked!" Fionna gasped. The rain stopped, he ran over to the robot and picked it up. "Wow cow chow! You're alive!"

"..."

Fionna frowned when the robot did not respond. "I...think you are..."

She turned the robot this way and that. Left, up, down, right-"AH!"

Apparently, due to the lightning, the robot's dials and knobs on its right side had turned itself into a face, with an 'o' shaped mouth, knob-eyes, and small lines for eyelashes.

Fionna smiled. "Hey!"

"My name is N.E.P.T.A." The robot said in a robotic female voice. "The Never-Ending-Pastry-Throwing-Appliance."

"Perfect!" Fionna cheered. "You're exactly the kind of robot I was trying to make!"

"Yes! I am the Never-Ending-Pastry-Throwing-Appliance!"

"I get it, I get it," Fionna chuckled, and set N.E.P.T.A. onto the ground.

"Creator," N.E.P.T.A. said, "I am eager to commence the creation and propulsion of pastries forever. But my throwing appendage is...ugh...malfunctioning."

Fionna frowned at N.E.P.T.A. as she slowly moved her fork-arm, which creaked and fizzled with sparks.

"And my light bulb is cold." N.E.P.T.A. groaned, gesturing to the cracked light bulb in her microwave. "And my wheels do not roll! They only do skids!" She whimpered, trying her best to move, but only ending up buffing the grass. "Creator! You've given me a crippled body and and an insatiable hunger for baking! Why, Creator? Are you punishing me? _Did you create me so you could pity me?"_

Fionna gasped. She stopped N.E.P.T.A. from skidding along the grass. "N.E.P.T.A.! Don't say stuff like that!" She picked the robot off of the ground gingerly. "Look, I know we just met, and you're probably going through some personal stuff right now. But I really like you, N.E.P.T.A. I think you're a cool gal. And I'm not gonna rest until you're working properly and throwing hot pastries at my best friend's face."

"Is that my purpose in my world, Creator?"

Fionna nodded just as the sun peaked out behind the crowd, showering them both in sunlight. "Together, we're going to prank the pants off of Cupcake."

N.E.P.T.A. laughed.

"Now all we need is more lightning power!" Fionna said, and began walking away. She looked up in the horizon, where the Ice Kingdom castle was shining in the sun. "And I think I know just the dumb-hole who we can get some from: The Ice Queen!"

* * *

><p>Later, as a group of balloons floated Fionna and N.E.P.T.A. over the Ice Kingdom, N.E.P.T.A. stated, "What beautiful mountains of sugar!"<p>

"No, N.E.P.T.A.," Fionna told her, "We call that _snow._"

"Snooooooooow?" N.E.P.T.A. said slowly. "What is that massive gray thing called?"

"Hmm?" Fionna looked ahead-

-and smacked right into the icy wall of the Ice Queen's tower.

Wiping the snow off of her face, she asked the balloons, "Did y'all smack me into that wall on purpose?"

"Yeeeeeeeeah!" The balloons laughed and giggled.

"Take notes, N.E.P.T.A.," Fionna instructed the robot. "These guys and gals are top-notch pranksters." She turned to the balloons. "You guys stay out here in case we need a quick escape."

"Yeah!"

"Sure, Fionna!"

"We've got your back!"

Fionna nodded and slipped into the tower's A-shaped window.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I took her wallet."

They all laughed like crazy.

* * *

><p>"Just gonna bust in and sneak out until we find her Lightning-Bolt Stash..." Fionna muttered to herself, slinking across the icy floor of the Ice Queen's tower's main room.<p>

"But Creator," N.E.P.T.A. said, "Isn't breaking and entering wrong?"

"No, gal. We're PRANKING and entering. Which is rad."

She sneaked like a snake across the living room, as quiet as a mouse.

N.E.P.T.A. began to mutter excitedly. "Sneaking...we're sneaking..."

_"Shush, N.E.P.T.A.!"_

"Sneaking..."

_"Shush! N.E.P.T.A., you're gonna get us caught!"_

_"SNEAKING!"_

A light clicked on in the other room, and Fionna froze.

Fionna silently ran across the room to hide. "Oh, Glob!"

Fionna hid behind the snowy sofa. She peeked behind the sofa. Ice Queen was walking into her room, her hair messy, and instead of her normal cobalt dress, she was now wearing a puffy aquamarine robe and slippers.

"Is that you, dearest pie?" Fionna cocked an eyebrow at her words. "How was your day at work?"

Ice Queen turned her voice low and deep. "'Horrible. How could I ever be happy when I'm apart from you, the Ice Queen?'" Ice Queen turned to a snowy gray sea lion with large tusks. "See, Gunta, that's how it would be if I HAD a husband."

"Morp morp morp?"

"What? I dunno...he'd...work in a...bakery or...something...Then he'd give me all the uneaten pastries I want!"

Fionna felt the Ice Queen sit on the sofa she was hiding behind. She stiffened.

"Game time!" Ice Queen said. She took Gunta, set her in front of her, and took out a slim metal plate and set it on Gunta's head.

She turned the disk on, and a robotic score played. The holographic screen came on. A handsome man appeared, sword in hand, in front of a small rabbit.

Ice Queen hit a few buttons. The man swung his sword, but it sliced at the air above the rabbit.

"Oh...come on...kill the rabbit...she's right in front of you!" Ice Queen grunted, clicking the buttons like there was no tomorrow.

"Creator," N.E.P.T.A. whispered loudly, "If we get caught, I want you to know I love you."

"Ssshh!" Fionna shushed her. "You've already told me that! And we're not gonna get caught. We're going to get you working so we can prank Cupcake! She could wake up from her nap at any second."

* * *

><p>Cake rolled around in her bed (which was really a drawer filled with a pillow and blanket.) She moaned. In her sleep, she flailed her arms, "I might wake up at any second!"<p>

...

"Nah. I'm still asleep."

* * *

><p>"Oh no!" Ice Queen shrieked. "That rabbit is firing a Fire Charm at my hottie! NOOO!"<p>

"Quick! While she's distracted!" Fionna whispered to N.E.P.T.A.

She stepped from behind the sofa to behind a stalagmite of ice. She slid from that to a pillar of snow. N.E.P.T.A. giggled.

"Morp?" Gunta inquired.

"THIS GAME CHEATS ANYWAY!" Ice Queen shrieked, lifting the disk off of Gunta's head, allowing Gunta to walk over to the snowy pillar.

Ice Queen attempted to set her disk back down, only for it to shatter on the floor.

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, GUNTA!"

Fionna peeked from behind the snowy pillar, unaware that Gunta flopped closer.

"We're home free, N.E.P.T.A." Fionna whispered excitedly to the robot.

"MORP!"

Fionna jumped a mile high and span around at the snowy gray sea lion.

Ice Queen raised an eyebrow at the sea lion's sudden outburst and walked over. "Stop it, Gunta!"

"MORP! MORP! MORP!"

"You're starting to infuriate me!"

"MOOOOOOORP!"

"WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?"

Fionna started to circle around the pillar, Gunta following her, and Ice Queen following Gunta. Soon, Gunta was only circling the pillar. Gunta looked up and saw that Fionna had climbed all the way up the pillar to the ceiling.

"It's like you're trying to alert me," Ice Queen said slowly, "Warn me...about, I don't know, an intruder? An enemy? Perhaps she's in this very room. Lurking just outside my field of vision."

"MORP!"

"Well, knock it off!"

Fionna chuckled inwardly and hopped from the pillar to a stalactite, causing Gunta to morp more.

"What do we do, Creator?" N.E.P.T.A. asked as Fionna hopped to another stalactite.

Fionna guffawed. "We're gonna prank her, N.E.P.T.A. HARD-CORE."

"You're looking kinda fat, Gunta," Ice Queen said, lifting up Gunta's flippers and flapping them around, "Fat, fat, fat. Mommy's little fatty. You'll never get a Morp date with all that fat, ya know."

Fionna picked an icicle from the ceiling and dropped it down below. Gunta began to flail her flippers and wail loudly.

"Oh, don't cry, Gunta," Ice Queen said, "I'll go with you to Morp." The icicle went down the back of her robe, and she shrieked. "Darn this melting ceiling! Darn my life!"

"MORP!"

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME! HELP ME GET THIS OUT!"

"Creator!" N.E.P.T.A. exclaimed, "You've just shown me the joy of pranking! I can't wait to throw pastries at Cake's face! FOREVER!"

"I'm proud of you, N.E.P.T.A." Fionna smiled. Her hand slipped, and she frowned. Then her foot slipped. and her other foot. "The ceiling really is melting!"

And then, with a soft yelp, she fell, N.E.P.T.A. giggling like it was a fun ride. The floor was also melting, and they were sliding across the room in a matter of time.

Ice Queen span around. "What was that?"

"MORP!"

"Stop telling me that, Gunta! FAT LIES!" Ice Queen shrieked as Fionna and N.E.P.T.A. flew down the hall. "I can destroy you, Gunta! I HAVE THAT ABILITY!"

Fionna slid down the hall and was soon flying down a spiral staircase, which was even more melting, causing her to go faster.

"What's happening, Creator?" N.E.P.T.A. cried.

"I CAN'T STOP SLIDING! _I PRAY THE GLOB OF SAFE TRAILS WILL GLIDE MY SITTIN' CUSHION TO SAFETY!"_

She flew past two Siberian-tiger statues. The statues suddenly blared. "ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!"

Fionna growled. "I PRAY THE GLOB OF TIGER-ALARMS GETS RUN OVER BY A BUS!"

"ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!"

"Huh?" Ice Queen snapped her diary shut. "An intruder? WHERE'S MY GOWN?"

"Maybe a handsome prince is breaking in!" Ice Queen said hopefully, pulling down on the hem of her cobalt gown. "Just like in my poems!"

"Creator!" N.E.P.T.A. said as Fionna glided down the hall. "I think someone is following me!"

Fionna felt the ground rumble. She briefly turned around to see a gigantic Ice-Elephant stampeded down the hall, its icy blue body and razor-sharp tusks flaming. She screamed and ran faster. "Oh Glob, oh Glob, oh Glooooooob!"

"Look, Creator! Lightning!"

"Huh?" Fionna asked, looking ahead at the bolt-shaped metal door ahead of them. "A lightning-shaped door!" Her eyes widened as they sped nearer and nearer to it, her chest tight. "And we're gonna smash right into it! I need to come up with a plan in the next five seconds!"

"Why don't we ask the animal?"

"Oh, yeah!" Fionna said, glancing back at the roaring Ice-Elephant. "Check out my plan, N.E.P.T.A.!"

She turned to the right, in the direction of another pillar. She slid right up the pillar, like a bullet. The Ice-Elephant stampeded right through the meta door, and Fionna landed cat-like on her feet. At the impact of the door, the Ice-Elephant broke to chunks of ice.

"That was a GREAT plan!" N.E.P.T.A. gushed.

"Hm? Nah. That wasn't my plan. My plan was to kick the door down, somehow, and hope the rest would go alright. We got lucky."

She stepped into the room. A furnace was flaming icy flames, white smoke pouring out. Random racks and shelves and machines flashed red, green, blue, yellow, and so on. Chemicals were in small glass tubes on a nearby table, fizzing, bubbling, smoking, and gurgling.

Fionna looked around until she saw a large rack of turquoise lightning bolts in the corner.

"Are those my tickets to the gun-show, Creator?"

"Mhm. You're going to work perfectly. Just like I promised."

Fionna felt the ground shaking violently again, shaking her stomach.

She span around just in time to see an Iceopillar crash into the room, its cobalt eyes the size of cars, its six legs seven feet long. It screeched to a stop, sending the Ice Queen flying and landing on her face.

"Who goes there?" She wiped the frost from her face and looked ahead. "_**FIONNA! **__Why can't you ever be a prince_!"

D:( "? !"

"ICOPILLAR! ATTACK!"

The Icopillar grabbed the Ice Queen's forehead with its pinchers.

"NOT ME! HER!"

"Let's get some lightning and get out of here!" Fionna cried.

She ran for the rack, only for the Icopillar to fire at it with

"Finish her, my semi-loyal pet!" Ice Queen shrieked.

Fionna dodged attack after attack, ducking and sliding and so on. Eventually, N.E.P.T.A. fell out of her backpack.

"AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER!" Ice Queen screeched. She fired a lightning bolt at the robot.

_"N.E.P.T.A.!" _Fionna cried.

She jumped in front of the lightning bolt in an attempt to sacrifice herself, but the bolt dodged her and zapped N.E.P.T.A. anyway.

N.E.P.T.A. screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fionna cried. "Oh. Wait. Yeah. That's what we wanted to happen."

"N.E.P.T.A. is fully functional!" N.E.P.T.A. cheered, rolling around smoothly, shaking her fork-arm around wildly and flashing her light-bulb. She opened her microwave-door and pulled out a piping hot eclair, laughing with excitement.

"YEAH!" Fionna cheered.

Suddenly, the Icopillar grabbed her head with its pinchers, causing her to yelp as it squeezed her tighter, making a sort of cracking noise.

"Crush her!" Ice Queen shrieked. "Crush her like you crushed me!"

"Creator?" N.E.P.T.A. asked worriedly.

"Can you help me out her, N.E.P.T.A.?" Fionna asked, prying the pinchers from her head. "Throw a pastry at it!"

"But my prime directive is to prank Cake!" N.E.P.T.A. said. "Do my robo-eithes allow me to prank-"

"N.E.P.T.A.!" Fionna cried as the Icopillar crushed her waist. "THE PASTRIES!"

"Oh. Right." N.E.P.T.A. said. She fired pastry after pastry at the Icopillar, from a Alexandertorte to a Zlebia.

The Icopillar shrieked as the hot pastries hit its face. It dropped Fionna and fell to the ground with a crash.

"Hey, N.E.P.T.A.," Fionna said, picking up N.E.P.T.A. as the Ice Queen fired at them again. "What was in those pies?"

"Just boisonberries." N.E.P.T.A. smiled wryly. "And...poison...heh heh..."

_N.E.P.T.A.'s acting...different, _Fionna thought.

"Quick, Fionna, jump!" The balloons chorused as Fionna ran to the window.

She jumped for them, only for them to move out of the way. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

The balloons laughed as a few of them floated Fionna back to them. "Aw, you guys got me." Fionna smiled.

The Ice Queen stared after them as they flew away. "Hmmm..."

* * *

><p>"Thanks, you guys," Fionna said as the balloons dropped her off in front of the Treehouse. "Your blood oath is fulfilled." She let go of them, setting them floating up into the air. "Return! To the atmosphere tides from whence you came!"<p>

"Yeah!" "Woo!" "To the mesosphere!" "Finally! We can die!"

"Ready to fulfill your pranking directive, N.E.P.T.A.?" Fionna asked the robot.

"I am troubled, Creator. Troubled by a sudden urge to...KIDNAP PRINCES!"

"N.E.P.T.A." Fionna said slowly, kneeling down. "That's a heavy, unsettling thing to say. Which probably means you're just growing into a complex little woman. BUT PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! We're about to prank Cupcake!" She crept over to the door. "On the count of 3, I open the door and you huck pastries at Cupcake. FOREVER."

"Uh...sure..." N.E.P.T.A. said, unsure.

"One."

"Two."

The door flew open.

"THREE!" Ice Queen shrieked.

"She's come to take revenge!" Fionna cried. "Run, N.E.P.T.A.! RUN!"

N.E.P.T.A. quickly rolled over to hid in a clump of dense bushes, shaking with worry.

Fionna lunged at Ice Queen, fist ready. Ice Queen shot a beam at her, leaving her frozen from the neck down, arm poking through the ice.

"It's not always about you, Fionna." Ice Queen said, walking past her to the dense clump of bushes, kneeling down. "I've come to take my _daughter._"

_"YOUR _daughter?" Fionna cried.

"Come to mama, daughter." N.E.P.T.A. slipped through the bushes. "I won't attack you, unless provoked."

"DAUGHTER? She's not you're daughter! I built her! _If anything, SHE'S __**MY **__DAUGHTER!"_

Ice Queen gave a dismissive "pshaw" and turned back to N.E.P.T.A. "It was my lightning power that activated her true potential."

She created a small lightning bolt with her index finger. N.E.P.T.A. oohed.

"See? She recognizes my potential spark!" Ice Queen smiled at N.E.P.T.A. "It's ok...when you were struck with my lightning, you became infused with my private particles. "SHE BELONGS TO ME!"

"Is this true, Creator?"

"Of course not! You're not evil like her! You're free! Free to do whatever you want! And you WANT to help me prank Cupcake! C'MON!"

"I'm torn!" N.E.P.T.A. said. "I am processing a love for both princes and pranking!"

"Don't worry, daughter!" Ice Queen said, taking N.E.P.T.A. in her arms. "I'll show you the life you deserve!"

She began to spin around, creating a vortex in the air. Fionna took her free arm and grabbed onto the Ice Queen's dress, causing her to spin, too. "NOOO! N.E.P.T.A.!"

"YES!" Ice Queen cheered once they were at their destination.

Fionna looked around. There was only golden specks floating around the green atmosphere. It went on to infinity.

"Now that we're in my Imagination Zone," Ice Queen said to N.E.P.T.A., "Let me tantalize you with THIS! PRINCES!"

Fionna blinked, and practically all of the princes of Aaa was in the Zone. Prince Gumball, LSP, Ghost Prince, Wildberry Prince, Slime Prince. It went on and on.

"They...are all very handsome..." N.E.P.T.A. said slowly, glancing down at Fionna.

"No, N.E.P.T.A." Fionna begged, shaking her head.

"I do feel tantalized, Mama."

"As my daughter, you can have any one of these men. Choose one."

"I do not know which one to choose." N.E.P.T.A. said, looking at all of the princes.

"Whatever you do, DON'T choose muscle prince." Ice Queen said, lifting up her skirt slightly to show N.E.P.T.A. her crushed leg.

N.E.P.T.A. nodded and looked around. The princes began to shower her with compliments.

"Hey, N.E.P.T.A. I've got skills with a sword." "Hey, beautiful." "You're hot."

"I think...I like the lumpy one."

Ice Queen nodded. "Very well."

The Zone flashed.

They were now sitting on a cliff. Below, the grassy plains shook in the wind and the sun began to set. The streams flowed peacefully. N.E.P.T.A. looked over at Ice Queen, who was now holding LSP.

"As my daughter, you can have anything you want! Nothing is too lavish! Nothing is too extravagant for you! You can even use my limited edition Prince Pit!"

He threw LSP over the cliff. Fionna and N.E.P.T.A. looked down as he fell in the large pit full of other princes. Fionna stared with a D:( face.

"If you keep your husbands in a pit, they'll stay warm and feed each other."

"Tell me more, Mama."

"I will, hija." She picked up N.E.P.T.A. "But then you have to do something for me. I want a daughter who can do better than I. One who can succeed where I have failed. You can mate with robot princes!"

"Can I still prank with Fionna after?"

"NO! NO FIONNA! ONLY ME! I'll show you what will happen if you choose Fionna."

A small screen appeared.

_Fionna and Cake were splattering a miserable N.E.P.T.A. with different paints, Fionna with blue and pink, Cake with red and green._

_"PAINTING N.E.P.T.A. TO THE MAX!" _

"Now do you see what I have been trying to protect you from?" Ice Queen asked N.E.P.T.A.

"N.E.P.T.A.-!"

Suddenly, Muscle Prince grabbed the frozen Fionna from behind. Fionna yelped as he drew her nearer to the edge of the cliff.

Then, Muscle Prince threw her at the Ice Queen. Ice Queen shrieked as Fionna punched her in the face, sending her off of the cliff.

The Ice Queen closed her eyes and zapped them back to the Real World.

* * *

><p>"I'm through playing around!" Ice Queen shrieked at N.E.P.T.A. as they appeared in front of the Treehouse once more. "Who do you choose?"<p>

N.E.P.T.A. looked over at Fionna.

"Choose me, N.E.P.T.A. Choose me. Remember the adventure we had to get here!"

N.E.P.T.A. closed her eyes and remembered when Fionna swore to get her working right. How Fionna had failed to sacrifice herself to protect her. How excited she was to prank Cake.

N.E.P.T.A. closed her eyes.

Fionna waited.

Ice Queen waited.

"I...choose..."

"C'mon, N.E.P.T.A..."

"Make the right choice."

"...ICE QUEEN!"

_**"WHAT?"**_

Ice Queen cheered. "I knew you'd make the right choice!"

"N.E.P.T.A.!" Fionna cried. "You've got to be flippin' kidding me!

"She made her choice. Get over it, cry-baby." Ice Queen scoffed.

"I'm not finished." N.E.P.T.A. said sternly. "I choose Ice Queen..."

Ice Queen smiled.

"...to prank. _**HARDCORE!**_"

_**"WHAT?" **_Ice Queen shrieked.

"FRESH-BAKED IRONIC CROISSANT!"

N.E.P.T.A. quickly baked a piping-hot croissant and threw it at Ice Queen. It sizzled on her face.

"MY FACE!" Ice Queen screamed and shrieked, wiping the croissant off of her face. She glared at N.E.P.T.A. and raised her hand. "I BIRTHED YOU AND I CAN UNBIRTH YOU!"

N.E.P.T.A. gasped.

Fionna broke out of the ice and lunged at the Ice Queen. "NEVEEEEEEEEEER!"

Ice Queen was punched hard in the face and passed out. "Oh..."

"Sleep well, Mama." N.E.P.T.A. said quietly. "In your Imagination Zone full of princes."

"You ready to prank Cupcake?" Fionna asked N.E.P.T.A., picking her up.

"Of course. It's why I was created. I love you forever, Creator."

"LET'S GO GET CUPCAKE!"

She took N.E.P.T.A. inside and crept upstairs.

"Cupcake...wake up..."

"Huh?...Oh, hey, Fi-"

_SPLAT!_

_"AAAHHHHH! BEAR CLAW IN THE EYE! I CAN'T SEE! **I'M BLIND**!"_

"CUPCAKE! ARE YOU OKAY? _I'M SORRY! __**I'M SORRY**__!"_

"I'm good. I was just messing with you."

"Oh my Glob, Cupcake, you freaked me out!"

* * *

><p><em>"Shall we kidnap princes now, Mama?" N.E.P.T.A. asked Ice Queen as they eatched the sun go down over the horizon.<em>

_"Let's just stay here a little longer, sweetie."_

_N.E.P.T.A. nodded._

* * *

><p>TRIVIA<p>

As a joke, when Fionna is reading a book to find how to get back at Cake, the pictures and descriptions of what Fionna reads are not matching.

This episode was originally called "Ice Queen and Daughter".

This episode is where Gunta first appears.

This is one of the few times where Cake is absent for most of the episode.

Ice Queen has a room where she keeps a surplus of lightning.

This is the first instance that Fionna and Cake's garage is seen.

In the video game that the Ice Queen is playing, her player somewhat resembles Marth from Fire Emblem.

The balloons cheered "To the mesosphere, finally we can die!" This is incorrect as balloons usually pop in the stratosphere.

Fionna was wrong when she said, "If anything, she's my daughter!" because she was N.E.P.T.A.'s creator but she was not completely related to Fionna, and Ice Queen infused N.E.P.T.A. with her DNA making Ice Queen her real mother.

When Fionna is building N.E.P.T.A., she attaches the robot arm to the upper side. However, when N.E.P.T.A. comes to life, the arm is moved lower to make room for the face.

HAPPY SUMMER!

YOURS TILL THE COTTON CANDY,

MOONSTAR


	16. Sea of Fear

Sea of Fear

CHARACTERS

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake ran up to their rusty, sunken submarine, breathless and panting._

A giant Water Tick ran out from the forest to the beach, panting heavily, her watery surface shaking as he tripped onto the sand. She heard the footsteps approaching and quickly picked himself up from the ground, grabbing the silver Magic Stick off of the ground.

"Come back, thief!" Fionna called, running alongside Cake after the Tick. Cake hissed at the Tick.

A thick stream of rock-hard bubbles shot out of the Water Tick's mouth. Fionna yelped as she jumped from the stream. "Whoa!"

"Stop it!" The Water Tick screeched angrily, her watery surface bubbling with anger. "Stop kicking me! It hurts!"

"You can't just go around stealing Witches' Magic Sticks!" Fionna yelled at her.

"Yeah! You know the penalty for stealing Sticks!" Cake added. "It's kicks!" She smiled at Fionna. "On ticks."

Fionna laughed. "Rhombus, Cupcake."

"Totally rhombus."

They turned around and gasped when they saw the Water Tick wading into the salty water, looking over her shoulder to see if they were following.

"She's getting away into that pond!"

"Fifi, that isn't a pond. It's a sea." Cake corrected her human sister. "Let's go!" She stretched up on her legs and waded into the salty water after the Water Tick.

Fionna froze mid-run. "Sea?"

She watched as the waves crashed in the sea.

_The waves turned red. They growled. __**Angry. **__**Coming for her.**_

The small tide nearly touched Fionna's toes. She screeched and jumped away, shaking with terror.

She looked up at Cake. Cake stood on top of the Water Tick, one arm wrapped around her neck, her legs kicking her neck, her stomach, and face. The Water Tick yelped and screamed in pain. "COME ON, FIFI!"

"I'm coming, Cupcake!" Fionna smiled, sitting down on the sand and pulling off her Mary-Janes and socks. She looked up and froze. "Huh?"

_The waves towered over her. They were mad with rage. __**Bloodred with fury. **_

The waves crashed down, causing the tide to crawl up to Fionna, nearly touching her bare foot. She screamed like a banshee and crawled away on all fours like a terrified cockroach.

Suddenly, Fionna's bunny ears vibrated. Fionna felt her head pound like a boom-box. She groaned and laid back on the sand as the pounding got more aggressive. A cloud of greenish-grey smoke slinked out of her ears, rising into the shape of a (very ugly) feminine face.

"W-Who are you?" Fionna asked.

_"I'm your Fright. Fright of the SEA!" _The 'Fright-Feaster' rasped.

"I'm not afraid of the-"

The waves crashed again.

Fionna screamed.

The Fright-Feaster laughed. _"Wuss."_

"I'm not a wuss! I'm a heroine! Fionna the Heroine!"

_"You're not a heroine. AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!"_

"No!" Fionna jumped up off of the ground. "I'm not afraid of ANYTHING!"

She charged at the sea like a bull.

The waves crashed.

She whimpered and froze.

"Ugh! NO!" Fionna shook her head back and forth. "I have to conquer my fear."

_"Yeah, right."_

"I will conquer my fear!" Fionna told the Fright-Feaster.

The Fright-Feaster scoffed and slinked back into Fionna's ears, causing Fionna to feel dizzy. _"Of course you will. And I live in a five-star apartment that smells like roses! Sarcasm. Buuuurn! Ugh...it smells like banana bread in here..."_

"FIFI!"

Fionna looked up at Cake as the cat ran up to her from the water. "Fifi, did you see me? I was all _HI-YA! _And then I was all _TAKE THIS! _And then-Hey, Fifi, are you okay?"

"Cupcake, I think I'm afraid of the sea."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Is that why you didn't kick the Water Tick with me? I thought it was just because you were out of good kicks."

"Cupcake, this is serious. I need your help to overcome my fear."

"Uh...I don't really want to-"

"CUPCAKE! C'MON!"

"Yeah, okay." Cake smiled. "Hm...where to start...I think we should just take a few steps in the water." She took Fionna's hand in her paw. "You can hold Cackie's hand, if you're scared."

She began to walk towards the water, but Fionna stood her ground like an anchor.

"It's okay, Fifi." Cake walked behind Fifi and crouched down between the human girl's legs. "It's just your feet."

She took Fionna's feet and pushed them one in front of the other. "Boop beep boop beep boop beep..."

"I'm not afraid." Fionna told herself as they came near the water. "Not one bit."

Her bare foot touched the water.

_**"I'M AFRAAAAAAAID!"  
><strong>_

She jumped away from the water and onto Cake's furry head, causing Cake's face to bubble in the water. "CUPCAKE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Cake calmly wrapped her furry arms around her sister and set her down on the dry sand. "Hot jam, you're really afraid of the sea. We should do this another time."

"I want to do this NOW!" Fionna insisted.

"Relax, Fifi, I got a plan we can use in the morning."

Fionna jumped up and ran to the edge of the water. "I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!"

The waves crashed again.

A fraction of a drop of water hit Fionna's face.

Fionna _screamed. _

"I'M AFRAID! _**AFRAAAAID!" **_She fell onto her back, crawling like a crab away from the sea. "Okay. Yeah. In the morning."

* * *

><p>"Fifi. Fifi."<p>

Fionna opened her eyes drowsily and saw Cake sitting on top of her, smiling.

"Mornin' Cupcake."

"Ready for me to help you face your fear?"

"Yeah, gal."

"I can only do this if you ask me."

"I'm asking."

"Then get ready for me Three Step Plan!" Cake said. "Watch your troubles wash away with step...ONE!"

She hit her paws against the 'Treehouse's' walls. Everything fell away, the walls, the wood, the objects. They landed with a splash in the water.

Soon, Fionna and Cake were drifting all alone in the water, floating on the bed.

Fionna nearly screamed her head off.

"See?" Cake interrupted her screeching. "The sea is your friend. And you have friends all around you. Miles and miles of friends."

Fionna tried to wriggle and pull away from her sleeping bag, but found as if she couldn't move. She panted heavily.

"Don't struggle, Fifi." Cake pulled down the hide-blanket of the bed, and Fionna breathed heavier at the ropes bounding her in her sleeping bag. "It's okay. I'll let you out in a minute, but you need to calm down."

Fionna's breathing lightened, but her heart still pounding like a drum.

"Good." Cake smiled. "Ready for Step 2?"

"Yeah," Fionna gasped, "I can do it."

"Okay, Fifi. Step...TWO!"

Cake pulled the ropes away. The bed fell apart, disappearing into the water. Fionna gasped as the ocean nearly touched her through the sleeping bag.

Fionna cried out loudly. _**"IT'S TOUCHING ME!"  
><strong>_

"LET IT HOLD YOU, FIFI! LET IT HOLD YOU LIKE A CHILD!"

"I'm...trying..." Fionna's face reddened as her heavy breathing turned to sputtering.

"Control your breathing."

She inhaled and exhaled quickly.

"Alright, here comes Step 3. Just don't scream."

"What?"

Cake set her paws on Fionna's shoulders. Fionna's eye widened. "Don't scream." Cake said. "Don't scream."

She pushed Fionna's head into the water.

At first, Cake thought she was okay, but then Fionna's scream erupted through the water and Fionna was kicking like a bronco in the sleeping bag.

"YOU GOT IT, FIFI!" Cake called to her.

Fionna tore out of the sleeping bag like an animal, sending Cake flying into the water. Fionna kicked the sleeping bag away and began to swim like a torpedo to Cake. She jumped onto Cake's head, jumping from the water, stepping on Cake's muzzle, eye, and ears. Finally, she pulled on Cake's ears, stretching them 6 feet wide. The wind caught in Cake's ears, and soon, they were flying through the air. They came nearer to a small island, and ten feet from it, Fionna jumped off and Cake fell into the water.

"I'm safe!" Fionna laughed in joy. "How'd I do?"

"I think we should give up."

"What? But I thought we were making progress! I made it all the way to Step 3!"

"Look, Fifi," Cake said, her face bruised, blue, black, and with a black eye, "It's not that I don't want to help you, I just don't want to get beat up anymore." She motioned around her face. "This is my bread and butter, Fifi. I can't have you messing up my bread and butter."

"Please, Cupcake," Fionna pleaded, "Just give me one more chance. I need you to help me, Cupcake!"

"OK, fine!" Cake sighed. "But only if you swear not to hit me anymore!"

"I swear I won't hit you anymore."

"And you have to speak it rhymes. Speak in rhymes all the times."

"I swear. And I have hair."

"Great! And since you want more, it's time for Step 4."

"I thought you said it was a 3-Step-Plan. Ya can."

"I'm not that good at counting."

Cake grew in size and reached behind the island. She pulled out a small, navy blue, rusty submarine. She set it in the water.

* * *

><p>"See, girl?" Cake asked Fionna once they were drifting through the water, handling the controls, "It's so cool...uh...it makes you want to hurl!"<p>

"Yeah! It's really math, you psychopath!" Fionna whimpered, her eyes practically sewn shut.

_"It's more math if you open your eyes, Fifi."_

Fionna opened her eyes. "Whoa." She took in the clear blue water, the underwater buildings, and plants and such.

"See? The sea is beautiful. No need to be afraid of things that are beautiful."

"Hey, this isn't bad! It's actually rad!"

"Hey! A black abyss!" Cake suddenly said. She leaned forward on the steering wheel, and the submarine lurched forward.

Fionna's eyes widened at the abyss. The blackness seemed like...fear...fright...THE FRIGHT-FEASTER.

"TURN AROUND, CUPCAKE, TURN AROUND!"

"Saying 'turn around' twice doesn't count as a r-"

Fionna kicked Cake away from the controls.

"Ow! Fifi, you SWORE you wouldn't-"

_Kick! Punch! Slap!_

"AH! MY BREAD AND BUTTER!"

Fionna tugged, pulled, and pushed at all of the controls. The submarine lurched and span and flipped. Two torpedoes shot from the submarine, hitting a building and causing it to crash down on top of the submarine.

The submarine began to fill with water. Fionna began to hyperventilate.

"It's okay, Fifi," Cake said, now wearing a deep blue diving suit. "This is the perfect way into Step 5." She took out another suit. "Put this on."

Fionna snatched it from Cake's paw and quickly pulled it on.

"Just don't pull the emergency tab." Cake told her.

Fionna pulled on the glass helmet of the suit. She looked down on the tab labeled _EMERGENCY _and pulled it.

"No, Fifi, I said don't-"

Fionna's suit swelled like a balloon. The swelling suit pushed Cake into a metal bar, and her head hit it with a clank. She groaned, her vision turning black, and fell into the water.

The submarine split down the middle, the two halves sinking into the water. Cake sank into the salty abyss.

"Cupcake?" Fionna looked down as she quickly floated to the surface. Cake disappeared into the blackness. "CUPCAAAAAAAAKE!"

She finally surfaced. She flapped around in the water until she felt something metal and wet. She grabbed onto it and realized it was a buoy. She climbed on, pulling off her helmet, panting heavily. "CAKE! CAKE! Cake..."

_"Pathetic."_

Her head pounded again. Smoke erupted from her ears, and the Fright-Feaster formed next to her. _"You can't even overcome your fear, and your friend is about to die! Your pathetic body will never let you rescuse your friend."_

"...You're right." Fionna reached behind the buoy.

_"What are you doing?"_

"If my body won't let me rescue Cupcake, there's only one thing to do." She pulled out a wrench. She brought it to her head roughly. Her vision blurred.

_"Shoot." _Fright-Feaster disappeared back into Fionna's head.

Fionna fell into the water. She drifted through the water, through the blackness, and into the abyss.

* * *

><p>Fionna opened her eyes and gasped at the small krill on her helmet. She propped herself up, and the krill dispersed. She looked around and gasped. "Cupcake!"<p>

She ran over to the unconscious cat. She shook her back and forth. "Wake up!"

Cake groaned and opened her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...wait...Fifi! You did it! You conquered your fear!"

"You're at the bottom of the sea!"

"...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Fionna quickly pulled at the emergency tab.

"We should celebrate on land." Cake chuckled. She grabbed Fionna and pulled her emergency tab, and soon, they were floating to the surface.

They resurfaced, and their helmets snapped open. They swam to the shallow water and walked onto the beach. They plopped down on the sand.

"I'm proud of you, Fifi," Cake panted.

"Thanks, Cupcake. I'm just gonna...relax..."

"Yeah...just relax..."

Fionna's ears smoked.

"Ok, too much relax!" Cake said. "Your head's catching fire! What's up with your ears?"

Fright-Feaster appeared before them. _"You'll never get over your fear of the sea."_

"The flip, girl? I just swam all the way to the bottom!" Fionna yelled.

_"No you didn't, you just SANK to the bottom. Cheater. YOU WILL NEVER BE A HERO!"_

"...She's right. I'll never be a heroine."

Fionna's head pounded again. A smoky limo zoomed out of her ears.

Cake chuckled. "Brain fart."

Three Wise Women floated out of the limo's doors_. __**"No, Fionna."**_The First said. _**"The mark of a great heroine IS her flaw."**_

"_YOU KNOW NOTHING, WISE WOMEN!"_

**"Silence, Fright-Feaster!"** The Second scolded.**"Do ye not remember Scarlett the Great? She defeated the Zombie Army with one blow. But was terrified of small places."**

**"Or Maya the Penultimate Warrior."** The Third said. **"Able to smash the skulls of 70 super-serpents in 10 minutes. But was afraid of large spaces."**

_**"Or Alexandria the Amazing, legendary for her longsword, but afraid of commitment."**_

"Okay," Fionna said, "But why did you wait so long to tell me?"

**"Because our limo driver's flaw is being late."**

"Sorry."

**"Goodbye, Fionna."** The Wise Women climbed back into the limo. **"You truly are the greatest hero of Aaa."**

They disappeared back into Fionna's ears.

"Time for you to go, Fright-Feaster." Fionna glowered.

_"Am I supposed to live in your head for the rest of my life?"_

"Everyone has a flaw. And yours is smelling like my brain."

_"Nice."_

TRIVIA

On the ocean floor are the remains of a city. The remains of forgotten cars, buildings, and even people are most likely further evidence of the Land of Aaa's post-apocalyptic setting. A destroyed tank and sunken aircraft carrier further prove the post-destructive war.

When Fionna sinks to the bottom, small krill appear to be living there, despite Aaa's apocalypse.

After Cake's "three-step plan" Fionna gives Cake two black eyes. But in the next scenes after getting the submarine she doesn't have any black eyes and seems to have miraculously recovered.

The visual projection of the ghost-like entity (Fright-Feaster) that speaks to Fionna is a real mental disorder called Amafufunyana, where patients believe evil ghosts reside within them.

**Please R&R**

**Yours till the sun bursts,**

**MOONSTAR**


	17. When Wedding Bells Thaw

I now have this story on 21 people's favorite list! XD

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

When Wedding Bells Thaw

_Title Card_

_Ice Queen plucks the Prince-figure off of the wedding cake, licking the dropping frosting off of it._

It was a normal day in the Land of Aaa, and Fionna and Cake, the famous heroines, were simply sitting in their Treehouse. Fionna had her hands behind her head, sitting back on the couch, as Cake played her dulcimer in a skippy beat.

Cake looked up at Fionna and stopped playing when she saw Fionna's face: D:I

"Are you okay, Fifi?"

"Yeah, why?" Fionna asked, her face normal, like she had just snapped back to reality.

"You look bored."

"This is just how I look when I listen to music."

"Oh. Good, because I'm about to kick it up a notch." Cake smiled, picking up the sticks to her dulcimer.

"Bring it!" Fionna said, leaning back.

Cake began to play a steady, slow tune. Fionna's music-listening face returned. D:I

There was a knock at the door, and Cake stopped playing as she and Fionna turned around to the wooden door.

"Someone at the door." Fionna walked from the couch to the door. "Who do you think it is?"

"I dunno, girl." Cake shrugged, walking on all fours to the door alongside the human girl. "Could be anyone."

She crouched down. Fionna hopped on her like a step-stool and looked out the glass window of the door. It was obviously a woman, but she couldn't see who.

"I can't quite make it out..."

The woman span around.

"AH!" Fionna screamed, nearly falling off of Cake's back. "IT'S THE ICE QUEEN!"

"THE ICE QUEEN?"

"THE ICE QUEEN!"

Ice Queen rocked on her heels. It was awfully quiet in the Treehouse. She didn't even know if it was the right Treehouse.

"I think this is the right address." She murmured, taking out a piece of paper from her long white hair.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Fionna kicked Ice Queen in the face, toppling her over with a war cry.

"Yeah! Kick her toosh, Fifi!" Cake cried out in encouragement.

Fionna took out her ruby sword. In a new rage, Ice Queen flew from under Fionna's hard foot, her hands glowing with icy power. She fired two sharp icicles at Fionna, who barrel-rolled away.

"EAT MY SWORD, ICE QUEEN!" She cried, her ruby sword held high.

She threw the sword with all her might at the Ice Queen, its ruby material glittering in the sunlight. The Ice Queen held up an icy shield, causing the ruby sword to fall like a torpedo into the grass, half of it in the soil.

The Ice Shield fell from the sky, piercing the ground next to Cake. "AH!"

"YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME, CHILD!" Ice Queen roared.

"BUT I WILL!" Fionna cried, her hands balled into fists. "With...A SWEET KICK!"

She kicked off of the ground, her leg held out for an attack. The Ice Queen, expecting a hard kick, dodged out of the leg's way, only to be punched across the face.

"SIKE!"

Ice Queen brought her hand to Fionna's face, freezing her face in a block of ice. They both fell to the ground next to Cake, the ice surrounding Fionna's head smashing against the ground.

"NOW I CAN KILL YOU!" Ice Queen screeched, her fist raised.

She lowered her fist, realization clear on her face. "Oh. Wait. Wait, wait. Ugh! I'm so stupid! I came here to tell you the good news!"

"What's the good news?" Fionna asked, the acid and confusion mixed in her voice.

"I'm getting married to someone who actually WANTS to marry me!"

Fionna and Cake gasped loudly in shock.

Ice Queen giggled excitedly. "My betrothed is over there. See?"

Fionna and Cake looked over at a red wagon full of penguins and sea lions, along with an elderly but somewhat handsome man with very large eyes.

"Hi, honey!"

"Hey, buttercup!" The Old Guy Prince called back.

"I didn't even kidnap this one!" Ice Queen said. "He fell in love with me! The moment I slipped on his engagement ring!"

She twiddled her noodly fingers, causing Fionna and Cake to cringe.

"Goodbye, honey!" Ice Queen called to Old Guy Prince.

Old Guy Prince waved back as he rode away in the wagon.

"The guys are throwing him a 'bachelor party.'" Ice Queen said, putting air quotes on 'bachelor party.' "Tradition is tradition, I suppose."

"This is wacko-weird, Fifi." Cake whispered to Fionna.

Fionna thought for a moment before looking up. "Hey, Ice Queen, if your married, what about capturing princes?"

"Oh well. I guess no more capturing princes for me."

Fionna broke into a wide grin. "Cupcake, this is great! Fare thee well, Ice Queen." Fionna waved and began to start for the Treehouse again.

"Yeah, good luck with yee and thy creepy wedding." Cake agreed.

"We totally support your decision to stop capturing princes." Fionna finished before closing the wooden door, leaving Ice Queen standing alone.

"I'm happy for her." Fionna told Cake smugly, leaning against the wood of the Treehouse.

There was another knock at the door. Frowning, Fionna opened it to reveal a shy-looking Ice Queen, laughing nervously.

"What is it?" Fionna asked, trying to hide her irritation.

"I sure wish someone would throw me a bachelor party." Ice Queen giggled. "I mean, 'bachelorette party'!"

Fionna and Cake exchanged glances. "But we hate you."

"But I'm desperate!" Ice Queen said, her hands glowing blue. "If you don't throw me a bachelorette party, then I'll never have my last 'hurrah' before buckling down with that battleaxe! It'll take me back to a life of stealing hot princes! DO YOU WANT THAT?"

"No! No, of course not!" Fionna whispered to Cake. "We have to give her a good time or she'll go back to imprisoning princes!" She began to hyperventilate. "I-I can't have that! I-I-!"

"Shh." Cake pressed a furry finger to the girl's lips. "I know. Alright, let's go party, Ice Queen!"

Ice Queen laughed with excitement.

* * *

><p>First, Fionna and Cake took Ice Queen to a Rabbit Tribe's party. They told Ice Queen to have fun while they danced with the Rabbits like crazy, going with the pounding music. Ice Queen was struggling with her 1000+-old body to dance.<p>

"Come on...time to grease the old flour mill...Get the rust from these elbows..."

She looked up at a cute, cerulean male Rabbit with a blue rose on its side, who waved at her with a smile.

Ice Queen giggled and waved back.

Out of the blue, a beefy, burly, scarred, pastel-green female Rabbit with a skull on its side walked up next to the male, being his recent girlfriend. Ice Queen froze as the female Rabbit growled, stalking towards her.

"Uh...What seems to be the problem?" Ice Queen asked nervously.

"YOU WAVED AT MY MAN!" The Rabbit screeched as a few of her 'friends' surrounded the Ice Queen.

"D...Don't...DON'T YELL AT ME!"

Fionna and Cake span around at the crashes and screams in shock.

"I'LL CONGEAL THE MARROW OF YOUR BONES!" Ice Queen shrieked, firing her powers at the Rabbits in a white-hot rage. "AND STUFF YOUR INNARDS WITH SLEET! YOUR SOULS WILL FREEZE AND SPLINTER INTO SHARDS THAT PERFORATE YOUR SKIN!"

Fionna and Cake ran up to Ice Queen, pinning her arms to her side, while Ice Queen froze in shock. Fionna slapped her across the face.

* * *

><p>Next, they took Ice Queen to the Roughhousing Women's village. They sat at the wooden bar, Ice Queen mumbling about the bandage on the side of her face.<p>

"Here ya go." The bartender set down three mugs in front of them. "Three Maple Saps."

Ice Queen looked at the honey-colored liquid of the mug. She looked over at Fionna and Cake, who nodded and gave her thumbs-ups.

Ice Queen smiled and took a sip. She froze at the gluey, sour, tart, groggy taste. She spat out the liquid, splattering the woman next to her.

"What. The. Flip?" The woman growled, her eyes growing red.

Fionna and Cake stared. o_o

"Uh..." Ice Queen fidgeted. "Maple Sap problem?"

The woman hit her hard across the face. She then kicked Ice Queen in the stomach, sending her to the ground. The Ice Queen growled, summoning a whirl of snow. "YOU DARE TO LAY HARM UPON THE PERSON OF ELEMENTAL ICE INCARNATE? I COULD BLIGHT YOU TO YOUR HEART WITH A SINGLE BREATH! I AM THE MASTER OF WIND DESCENDING! _THE QUEEN OF HOARFROST!"_

The woman was blown a mile away, screaming, with the force of the wind. Ice Queen cackled as the woman disappeared into the forest.

Fionna and Cake stalked over to her, pinning her arms to her sides. Fionna slapped her again.

* * *

><p>Lastly, they just decided to go for a leaf-ride down the river. Fionna and Cake hopped onto a boat-sized leaf, floating down the waters, as Ice Queen went who knows where. Fionna and Cake sighed in exasperation.<p>

Water splashed on them. They looked up grumpily to see Ice Queen was splashing water at them, obviously looking for a fight.

"SIMMER DOWN!" Cake called before plopping her head back down on the waxy leaf.

"Hang in there, Cupcake, we're almost through this." Fionna sighed.

"HEYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

They looked up with a start to see Ice Queen standing up on her leaf, a wide grin on her face.

"CANNON...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!"

You don't even WANT to know what happened then.

* * *

><p>"Best bachelorette party EVER!" Ice Queen cheered as they walked through the grassy fields back to the Treehouse.<p>

Giggling, she brought a small snow-puff, a snowy, adorable creature, onto her palm.

Ice Queen giggled.

The snow puff giggled back.

Ice Queen giggled.

The snow puff giggled back.

The Ice Queen tossed the snow-puff over her shoulder. Cake reached out and caught it. "Now I'm gonna get MARRIED!"

Fionna and Cake slinked away as she went on a laughing riot, quiet as a mouse.

"Dumps. Finally, she's gonna be out of our hair." Fionna sighed.

"Double dumps to that, Fifi."

"Bye, Ice Queen! Good luck!" Fionna called back, waving.

"Have fun being married!"

"No more stealing princes!"

Ice Queen froze, frowning. "Wait...no more stealing princes...wow...I didn't realize-"

_**"WHAAAAAAAAAT?"**_

"I...didn't realize I'd have to give up stealing hotties."

"But you said you were fine with it!" Cake screeched.

"I know I said it." Ice Queen sat down with a sigh on the grass. "But you know how when sometimes you say things but you don't really mean it?"

"Wha-? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"I'm just not sure if I wanna get married in such a hurry."

"Such a hurry?" Cake repeated. "You've always been trying to kidnap and marry princes against their will. For a flipping long time."

"I know, I know...But how do I know she's the one? What if she's just after my Devil's Eye or Soul Pouch?" She took out two items from her hair, a red-eyed, blinking necklace and a dusty pouch erupted see-through humanoid beings.

"WE JUST TOOK YOU OUT TO PARTY SO YOU'D FEEL BETTER ABOUT GETTING MARRIED!" Fionna screeched.

"Maybe I'll just go back to stealing lots of guys. It's what I feel _comfortable _doing, ya know? Being free. The wind in my hair. Lots of guys. Kidnapping them."

"Alright, here's a double kick." Fionna snarled, pouncing for the Ice Queen.

"Fifi!" Cake wrapped her arms around Fionna's waist, restraining her. "Cool yourself. We need this crazy chic to get married, remember?"

"Yeah. I remember." Fionna grumbled.

"Watch, let big sis handle this." Cake brushed past her to the Ice Queen, who was sitting on the grass, whimpering. "Hey, Ice Queen, don't be nervous. Marriage is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a psycho like you."

"Why?"

"W-why?"

Fionna watched as the cat re-approached her. "Darn. That girl is good. I need to think. Why...why..." Cake hypervinilated, pulling on her ears, sweating like crazy.

"Uh...Cupcake-"

"Not now!" Cake waved her off. "WHY! WHY!"

"Alright, listen, girl," Fionna told the Ice Queen, "Marriage is awesome because...uh...husbands...lay eggs?"

"Wha-?"

"And he'll dance for you."

"So what? I can lay on eggs of dancing sea lions." She stood up and revealed a little egg, that hatched, revealing a (adorable!) baby sea lion. It stepped away from the eggshells and began to dance, spinning, jumping, and flapping until it span away.

"I don't need a husband for eggs or dances. My mind is made up 80% percent sure. No marriage."

"Well, uh..." Fionna thought for a moment. "...You wanna grow old with somebody, right? Just like these old ducks."

She pointed to a nearby pond, where two wrinkly, elderly ducks were giving each other pecking kisses.

Ice Queen furrowed her eyebrows. "Huh?"

The female duck SWALLOWED the male WHOLE. A minute later, his head poked from her bill, quacking.

Cake's face: O_O

Fionna's face: O_O

Ice Queen's face: :D

"Now I get you gals are trying to tell me!" Ice Queen cheered excitedly. "Marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a prince forever and let him live inside of me." She paused, then burst into hysterical tears. "MARRIAGE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD!"

"Cake, this is bad," Fionna whispered to Cake, who had a wide, plastered smile on, "We gotta tell her that she can't eat her husband!"

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Look how happy she is!"

"THE WEDDING IS BACK ON! 100%!" Ice Queen cheered, doing a sort of jig. She picked up her skirt and skipped quickly away.

Fionna sighed in relief as she left.

"All that's left is that lousy wedding." Cake smiled to Fionna.

"I'M WEDDY FOR THE WEDDING!"

* * *

><p>The next day, the Ice Kingdom was chiming with the sound of wedding bells. Penguins and sea lions were hanging up decorations and so on. Baby Blue ribbons and white roses were everywhere.<p>

"Ya know, even though the Ice Queen is a real jerk, I'm kinda happy for her." Fionna whispered to Cake. She had been required to wear a dress, which she was not happy of. The dress was baby-blue, knee-length, with a large deep blue ribbon around the waist.

"This wedding looks pretty lame, Fifi." Cake grumbled, looking at the decor and ice sculptures. She had to wear a baby-blue ribbon. "Prepare to be bored. OUT OF YOUR MIND."

Fionna chuckled.

"Fionna! Cake! You made it! I'm almost done tying up my husband!"

Fionna and Cake looked up at the altar. Ice Queen had switched from her usual dress to a royal blue dress. The dress had long, tight sleeves and hugged her from the waist down. To her knees down, it went in spirals of blues. She was tying up the Old Guy Prince, who was wearing a blue tux with a black tie.

"Weird." Fionna said. "Your husband is into that?"

"This is a traditional wedding ritual for good luck in the Ice Kingdom! He'll be raised up, and then lowered back down, and when he touches my hair from above, he'll be my king!"

"Well, cool, glad you're happy." Fionna said. "...Being crazy together."

The Ice Queen began to mutter numbers, Fionna supposed another ritual. "4...8...15...16...23...42..."

Fionna looked at the Old Guy Prince and jumped. His eyes were the size of saucers, swirling black and blue.

"His eyes are huge!" Fionna said to Cake. "I'm going to go check them out. Stop scratching your ear. It's gross."

"It wasn't me, Fifi, it was my foot."

"You have ridiculously large eyes, prince," Fionna said to Old Guy Prince, staring at his eyes. "Are you allergic to something?"

"No, Fionna, I was born like this." Old Guy Prince said, his eyes beginning to overflow with penny-sized tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying. My tear sack is broken."

Fionna looked into his eyes, making out a bar-like design with the blackness of his eyes. Beyond the bars, she could see a small figure.

_"HELP ME!"_

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." Old Guy Prince said as Cake approached them.

_"The Ice Queen cursed me! Please set me free! I would rather die than marry the Ice Queen!"_

Fionna and Cake gasped loudly in shock.

"SHE TRICKED ME!" Fionna growled. "I WAS HAPPY FOR THAT TOOT!"

"Look at his ring."

Fionna looked at the Old Guy Prince's ring. It was made of ice, glittering in the light with every movement. She could hear the Ice Queen's words:_ "He fell in love with me! The moment I slipped on his engagement ring!"_

"That's what cursed him!" Fionna took the Old Guy Prince's hand, trying to pull off the ring. "Don't worry, prince, I'll remove this and save your life."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fionna and Cake jumped and span around to the Ice Queen, who was glowing with raging power. "HE'S MINE!"

She fired a beam at them, but they dodged it quickly.

"YOU CURSED HIM!" Fionna screamed. "HE HATES YOU!"

"THAT'S YOUR OPINION!"

"Wait, wait, wait." Cake told them. "You knew he was cursed all along. Which means you KNEW he wasn't trying to steal your devil stuff."

"I dunno. I'm complicated. And spontaneous. That's probably why he wants to marry me."

"You knew you had total control of him!" Cake said. "Why did you make us go on about why marriage is great and junk? You BRAINWASHED him into wanting to marry you! He would never marry you! YOU'RE A NUT-BAR!"

"SILENCE!"

Ice Queen fired an icy beam at their feet. Fionna and Cake looked down to see their feet were frozen where they stood.

"It's time for the lowering ceremony!" Ice Queen said. "Hoist him up!"

Fionna pounded at the ice trapping her feet as the Old Guy Prince was hoisted a good twenty feet above them.

"COMMENCE THE LOWERING!"

The Old Guy Prince began to be lowered very slowly.

Fionna and Cake attacked the ice trapping their feet. Cake took off her bow and used it like an ice pick. Fionna ripped off the hem of her dress to get a better look at her feet. The ice began to crack.

"Nothing can stop me now." Ice Queen sighed.

Suddenly, Fionna was lunging at her. Ice Queen tumbled backwards, sending them both rolling over the side of the icy altar.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Fionna screeched once they were at the bottom.

"BEATING UP THE BRIDE AT HER OWN WEDDING?" Ice Queen kicked Fionna off of her. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH **YOU**?"

Fionna flew back and crashed into the sea lions that were holding the ropes to the Old Guy Prince. Immediately, he began to fall to the icy floor below.

Cake, who was still stuck in the ice, stretched up and caught him quickly.

"I think you dropped something." Ice Queen said to Fionna as she stalked over to her. "Catch!"

She took out a sea lion from behind her back. She threw it over to Fionna, freezing it in midair. Fionna caught the frozen creature before it could shatter on the floor. The weight of the frozen sea lion caused her to sink through the snow of the floor, waist-deep.

Ice Queen fired a beam at Cake, who was still stretched up and holding Old Guy Prince. Cake saw the beam and span around so it wouldn't hit the Prince. However, her body was then frozen in a block of ice.

"CUPCAKE!" Fionna cried.

By this time, the sea lions had grabbed the ropes that was holding up the Prince. Cake began to lose her balance with the ice holding her body. As she began to fall, she plucked the ring from the Prince's finger.

Cake fell down the side of the altar, sliding down the side, until she was right next to Fionna.

"Oh hey."

"Hey."

"Let's try this again." Ice Queen told the sea lions. "LOWER HIM!"

"Oh dang." Cake groaned, her voice muffled in the ice. "What are we gonna do?"

"Cupcake! You got the ring of his finger!"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Now he's not hypnotized, but we're still frozen."

"I got a plan."

"You stinky, lying pig!" Old Guy Prince screamed as he was lowered down, struggling and kicking. "I hate you! Go jump off a cliff!"

"Yes, touch my hair," Ice Queen said, holding up her white mane.

Fionna and Cake waited...

"Almost there..." Ice Queen said when the Prince's finger was just inches from her hair.

"NOW!"

Ice Queen felt a hand touch her hair. "I'M MAAAAAAAAAAARIED!"

Fionna and Cake burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Ice Queen frowned.

"Yeah. You're married to the person who touched your hair." Fionna smiled.

"What's that supposed to-?"

Ice Queen gasped when she saw that CAKE had touched her hair. NOT the Prince.

"You done married a cat!" Fionna said.

"Yeah, I-" Cake froze. "Wait. Wha-? WHY AM I HAPPY?"

* * *

><p>"Now everything's back to normal." Fionna sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Well, almost everything.<p>

"Come on, girls," Ice Queen whined, knocking on the door, "Help me celebrate my divorce."

Fionna and Cake laughed.

**TRIVIA**

When the Ice Queen is murmuring numbers for the wedding, '4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42,', the numbers are from the TV show, _Lost._

When Cake was the touching the Ice Queen's hair she wore the engagement ring but she never lost her own conscience


	18. FreakCity

CHARACTERS

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

Magic Woman-is the main antagonist of the Freaks. She appears as a homeless woman to them before turning them into some body part with her magic powers. She is a humanoid with light spring green skin, curly orange-red hair, and tattered magenta clothes with a matching hat. She also wears mismatched boots, one crimson and the other orange. She has white eyes, like the Ice Queen. She has a mahogany backpack with lawn green and umber straps with a rolled-up tangelo blanket. She has a pouch strapped to her leg. Whilst disguised as a beggar, she covers herself with a tattered old lavender cloak that hides her features. She is one of the few characters with a nose.

Garla-A member of FreakCity and one of the ears of SuperFreak. He is a humanoid. Wendy and Garla resemble Brazil nuts with swirls on their stomachs. His swirl is larger than Wendy's. Garla, as a Freak, looks like a beige ear.

Gorgi-the leader of FreakCity and head of SuperFreak. As a Freak, she resembles an infected thumb with a large purple eye, a mouth, a pale pink skin. Her humanoid form consists of brown clothes similar to Xena the Warrior Princess's, with bright red sneakers and short, choppy black hair. She can shoot lasers from her eyes that can turn anything it touches into flames as well as intensify fires. This may have been what caused Shape Village to catch fire.

Kyle-A member of FreakCity and a leg of SuperFreak. He speaks with a thick British accent and hates Trevor. As a Freak, he is a beige leg. In humanoid form, he has long, tied-back black hair and an eye-patch over his left eye (though as a Freak, he has two eyes) and has a large syringe filled with a bubbly olive fluid, apparently grafted to his right arm. He has a jungle green eye and beige skin. He wears a white tailcoat with red pants and black boots. It is possible his eye-patch is the reason he said, "the eyes, cut her in the eyes" when they had the Magic Woman pinned.

Trevor-a member of FreakCity and the torso of SuperFreak. He hates Kyle. He speaks with a thick Jamaican accent. As a Freak, he is a light blue torso with a face. In his humanoid form, he wears a laser lemon body suit with a cyan triangle at the neck. He has curly blond hair and a circular helmet, as well as light blue skin.

Wendy-a member of FreakCity and one of the ears. As a Freak, he looks like a beige ear. As a humanoid, he resembles a Brazil nut with a swirl on his stomach. His swirl is smaller than Garla's.

Zahra-One of the legs of SuperFreak and a member of FreakCity. Her Freak form is a light pink leg. As a humanoid, she has salmon skin and an amber face. She has short fiery hair. Her clothes consist of a large cloud in the shape of a dress.

SuperFreak: A creature formed but the members of Freak City (Fionna, Garla, Gorgi, Kyle, Trevor, Wendy, Zahra.) Cake joins, wanting to help. Kyle and Zahra are the legs, Trevor the torso, Garla and Wendy are the ears, Gorgi the head, Fionna is a hand, and Cake forms their clothes.

Freak City

_Title Card_

_The one-eyed, female creature looked out from the darkness, hissing loudly_

Fionna and Cake calmly walked out of the forest to the cemetery. It was a normal day, the sky clear, the sun bright, and because of nothing to do, they just decided to talk a calm walk.

"Walking...walking..." Fionna stopped walking and started doing a hambone dance. "Hambone break!"

Cake chuckled as she watched Fionna dance whilst slapping her knees and elbows. Fionna's hands came near here. Cake tensed. "Hey. Get away from me!" Fionna began to lightly slap all over the cat, causing Cake to laugh and giggle and blush from embarrassment.

There was a groan.

Fionna and Cake froze and turned to the voice. A woman was lying on the floor, trembling, raising a shaking hand. She was covering in a black coat, no part of her face or body being seen. "Food. Food for a poor old woman." She began to twitch and shake and flip like she had a major spasm.

"Geez laweez, girl!" Fionna frowned deeply.

The woman twitched again. "So. You got any, kiddo?" She reached out a twitchy, shaking hand. "Food?"

Fionna took off her backpack and dug around in it. "Um...maybe..." She felt something small and circular. "I do." She pulled out the treat. "I've got this blueberry.

_Nuts. _Fionna thought. _I'm flipping all about blueberries. But I'm even more all about...FEEDING HOBOS!_

"Wait Fionna!"

Fionna turned to a frowning Cake. "Maybe helping this starving homeless woman is the wrong thing to do!"

"Why?"

"I dunno...I just said it MAYBE..."

"A heroin always helps someone in need." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And besides. She may be a fairy or something in disguise who will reward us for being nice."

"Whoa, cool!"

Fionna smiled and walked over to the homeless, kneeling down. "Here ya g-"

Suddenly, the woman back-flipped to her flip and snatched the blueberry from her fingers. She popped it in her mouth, licking her fingers. She chewed loudly.

And chewed.

And chewed.

And chewed.

Fionna and Cake waited. :/

"I'm not really a homeless woman." The woman said, her lips smacking. "I'm really a...MAGIC WOMAAAAAAAAN!"

She ripped off her cloak, and beaming, flipped backwards. Her scarlet hair fizzed like a fire. Fireworks, smoke, and everything you can imagine erupted from her fingertips.

Fionna and Cake gasped.

"Whoa!"

"She's magic!"

"And not homeless!"

"I didn't expect this!"

"Pretty math!"

"Algebra!"

The Magic Woman knelt down, whistling. A chipmunk hopped over to her, smiling. Magic Woman muttered under her breath.

Suddenly, the chipmunk's mouth open widely, like a black hole. It can't be described what happened next, so to put it short, it turned inside-out. Its veins and bones replaced its fur and skin.

"Magic!" Magic Woman beamed.

The chipmunk scurried, plopping wetly on the ground.

Cake buried her face into Fionna's shirt, trembling. "Think happy thoughts...cute little bees...little babies...tiny tiny bunnies..."

"What is wrong with you, Magic Woman!" Fionna yelled.

"You gave me that candy. Now, I'll do you a favor in return! A MAGIC FAVOR!"

She pointed at Fionna.

Suddenly, Fionna was engulfed in a cloud of sparking, sparkling purple smoke. The cloud spun around her like a tornado before dissolving.

Fionna twitched and trembled. She lurched forward and backward.

"Fifi!" Cake gasped.

Suddenly, Fionna's body molded and morphed. Soon, she resembled a human hand. Her torso up was on top, and the hand stopped at the wrist. The hand was positioned like a spider, its nails in the ground.

"WHAT?"

"You are now a big hand!" Magic Woman said, like it wasn't obvious enough.

"WHY'D YOU DO THAT?"

"Because a magical life lesson comes to you today!"

"NO! Change me back or give me back my candy!"

"Not until you appreciate what a jerk I am."

Magic Woman clapped her hands. She shot in the air like a rocket in a cloud of blue smoke. She exploded like a firework, the sparks spelling out _"EAT IT."_

"What a nut-job." Cake said, looking as the sparks disappeared.

"_WHAT! THE! FLIP! __**WHAT KIND OF DEAL IS THAT? I HELP SOMEONE AND THEY CHANGE ME INTO A UGLY HAND?"**_

Cake observed her, poking her face. "Actually, you look pretty good."

"GET OFF ME!" Fionna pushed her away. "I CAN'T BE A HEROIN IF I'M A PRETTY HAND!"

"Fionna, maybe you're looking at this gift all wrong. Now that you're giant hand, you can slap evil in the face LIKE A BOSS! You're 100% slap!"

"Cupcake, why are you being so level-headed about this?"

"Don't be a baby, Fifi." Cake stretched her face so that it seemed like a giant plate to Fionna. "Here, slap me."

Fionna glared. ):-( "YOU'RE THE BABY!"

She tried to hit Cake with her giant index finger, but only brushed the cat's face.

"OW! See, Fifi? Let's give your new bod a shot!"

"NO, CUPCAKE! I WANT TO GO FIND THAT MAGIC WOMAN AND GET MY BODY BACK!"

Cake shushed her, stroking her face. "Shhh. Don't scorn a gift. This Woman is trying to teach you a lesson about being a heroin. Come on, be a hand for a little while. It's gonna be awesome!"

"..."

Cake moved Fionna's mouth like a fish. _"Ok, I will. _Awesome, Fifi! You won't regret this!"

* * *

><p>Later, Fionna was propped up on some kind of spring, her hand-body upside down as Cake went on. "Ok, so when the next monster comes, she'll step on that trigger over there which'll spring your body right to the monster's face, girl."<p>

"Cupca-"

"Shhhhh. HERE IT COMES!"

The ground rumbled, a twenty-foot-tall, two-headed female monster dressed in a fur dress came running down the field, growling. Fionna wondered how a monster would randomly show up like that.

Soon enough, the monster stepped on the trigger. Fionna felt herself being slinghot into the air. Soon, her giant palm collided with the monster's rough cheek Fionna fell back to the ground with a thump. She picked herself up and saw that she had left a red glow on the monster's face.

"OUR FACE!" The first head cried. "OUR EVIL FACE!"

"OWWWWWWW!" The second one cried.

Cake ran up to Fionna and picked her off of the ground, running away. "See? You're a great heroine! Let's go set up some more catapaults so we can laugh and be heroines all day!"

"No, Cupcake! Let's find that magician!"

"Fifi, being a slap-master hand is a gift! Don't scorn a gift! I thought I taught you that!"

"HEEEEEEEEELP!"

Cake stopped running and set Fionna down. Down the hill, a small town was in flames, and people were running around, screaming. Smoke filled the sky.

"Town on fire!" Cake gasped. "This looks like a job for Fionna's hand-slapping ability!"

"But...I can't even bend these big fat fingers! I'm worthless!"

"You can do it, Fifi! What'd I teach you?"

"Not to scorn...the gift...of slapping people in the face?"

"You got it! Now go slap that fire out! I'm going to go rescue the babies!" Cake's face suddenly turned dark. _"Only the babies." _She threw Fionna over the hill. "GET YOUR HEROIN ON, FIFI!"

Fionna flew all the way down to the burning village. People with oddly shaped faces were screaming and shrieking. Every building was in flames, smoke poisoning the air.

"Um..." Fionna looked around nervously. She didn't know how to help these people. "Ok...Ok...um...You can save these people, Fionna...Go small...start on a little flame anf go from there..."

She spotted the tiniest flam a foot away. It was the size of a baseball. "I'm taking you down!"

She brought herself into a springing position, her fingers bended. She thrust forward...

...but toppled onto the flame.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Fionna screamed at the burning pain. "CUPCAKE! I'M BURNING! HELP! I CAN'T MOVE!"

The people stopped in their tracks, span around, and ran over to her.

Fionna smiled. "Oh, thank goodness. Please help me. I can't move."

One circle-headed woman furrowed her eyebrows. "What is it?"

A triangle-headed man growled. "IT'S ANOTHER FREAK!"

"I BET IT STARTED THIS FIRE!" A square-headed woman cried.

"WHAT?" Fionna cried. "I DIDN'T START-"

The townspeople glared at her and stalked over to her body. "FREAK! FREAK! THROW HER UNDER THE BRIDGE WITH THE OTHERS!"

They lifted Fionna off of the ground and started to run. They ran right out of the village until they approached a deserted bridge. They heaved Fionna over the edge. Fionna landed with a SPLASH! into the shallow water. She didn't stand.

She watched as the townspeople stormed off. "I'm not a freak..." She sniffed. "I'm a heroin..."

**"FIFI!"**

Fionna stopped sniffing and looked up. Cake was running down the hill, her arms filled with oddly-headed babies. She set them down on the grass before running down into the water, where the water reached her knees. The babies crawled away.

"Cupcake, how'd you find me?" Fionna inquired.

"Oh, I can sense when you're about to cry. It's like a mother/daughter thang."

"I'm not gonna cry! I just FEEL like it!"

"Fifi, keep it together and listen to Mama Cake."

"NO! WE HAVE TO GO FIND THAT MAGIC WOMAN AND ORDER HER TO GIVE ME MY BODY BACK!"

Cake didn't respond. She held up her ear. "What is that sound?" She walked over to the edge of darkness the bottom of the bridge.

"CUPCAKE!"

"It's blocking out your voice."

"CUPCAKE, GET BACK HERE!"

"It's sounds like a fish."

_"Welcome, travelers."_

Cake screamed and turned around.

Fionna and Cake looked at the female. She looked like a chair-sized stub. She had a single, huge purple eye and pale pink skin. "I am Gorgi. Leader of FreakCity. I see one of you has felt the Magic Woman's touch."

"You know that gal?" Fionna asked in shock as Cake pushed her over to Gorgi.

"Enter my domain." Gorgi entered the darkness, the splashing of her in the water following her. "I will tell you what you need to know."

Cake pushed Fionna in after Gorgi. Under the bridge, it was very dark and still wet from the water. Eventually, the ground got higher and the water disappeared. A small fire flickered on the dry ground like a beacon.

Gorgi stared at the fire for a moment. A sort of laser shot from her eye and hit the fire. The fire burned like crazy. Gorgi nodded and turned back to Fionna and Cake.

"We're all cursed ones. All once normal guys and gals who came across the Megic Woman's touch." Gorgi said. Fionna was confused when she said 'we' but then realized there were others under the bridge with them.

"That's Zahra. The leg."

Gorgi gestured to a leg-shaped female with pink skin and a small face. Zahra tried to move but just rolled over.

"Trevor, the torso."

Fionna looked over to a torso-shaped male with light blue skin and a cheeky face. He smiled at them before going back to sleep.

"That's Wendy and Garla." Gorgi's voice turned to a whisper. "They were turned into ears."

They looked over at Wendy and Garla, two ear-shaped males, with small faces who were currently wrestling each other.

"And that's Kyle. He's another leg."

Finally, Gorgi gestured to another leg-shaped person, a male, with light beige skin and blue eyes. He was currently hugging a rusty can.

"Please," Gorgi smiled, "Make yourselves at home! Would you like anything to drink?"

"Do you have any milk?" Cake asked.

"No."

"..."

"...Well...I don't think so...um...I don't know, maybe..." She turned around and hopped away. "I'll go check."

"Hey, Fifi," Cake whispered, "This place is bumming me out. Let's get out of here."

"What? No! These guys might be my only hope! I've gotta find out what they know!"

Gorgi came back, pushing a glass of milk in front of her as she hopped. "Hey, we actually do have milk."

"Listen Gorgi," Fionna said as Cake took the glass, "Thanks for being really cool and all, but I need to find this Magic Woman. What do you know about her?"

"Oh, she can't be caught! She's got mad magic! And we're worthless Freaks, we can't find her. So we've gathered here to wallow in self-pity."

"Woo-hoo! Self party!" Wendy and Garla cheered. Garla knocked into Wendy, and Wendy bit him, and they eventually were in a wild fight.

Gorgi frowned. "...Theirs is the saddest plight of all."

"But don't you even want to try?" Fionna asked.

"No." Kyle and Trevor said together.

"But why not? You're all totally miserable here!"

"It's a living."

"No it's not, Zahra! It's not a living. It's diapers! I don't wanna be a hand!"

The Freaks just shrugged and toppled over into sleep.

Fionna gawked. D:(

"Accept what fate has given you and stay a hand." Cake told her, sitting in a pile of soft, moldy trash filled with rats and flies. "Gorgi, can we live here in this pile of trash and flies forever?"

"Yeah, girl. Trash it up."

Cake sighed. "Awesome." She laid back in the trash, where the rats and flies imediatly swarmed to her. "Here we go."

"Cupcake, stop trashing around!" Fionna groaned. "You're going to make me give into depression!"

"What are you gonna do about it? Probably nothing, right? If you're depressed, you'll do nothing."

"I...maybe I will do nothing. Maybe I'll just lay here." She laid down flat on her palm, like a human hand pressed to a wall. "Lay here and rot like the rest of you. Is that what you want?"

"Yeah! Stay a hand! Stay a hand!"

Fionna sighed and eventually fell into a deep sleep, Cake's words ringing in her ears.

* * *

><p><em>Is this really my new life?<em>

_Is this where my story says 'fin?'_

_Being in this body_

_Seems like a battle _

_That I can not win_

_Maybe I should lay_

_My head down slow_

_And sleep until it's all ova_

_Is this really the end?_

_Of the heroin Fionna?_

* * *

><p><em>"FLIP NO! DARN IT, NO!" <em>Fionna jumped up. _"This isn't how I go! I'm gona kill it. I'm gonna kick life's butt! And win it! To win it! I'm gonna take life's name and spit on it and kick it! Life can just go eat it! Cos this is a woman's game!"_

Fionna stalked over to a sleeping Gorgi. "Get up, Gorgi!"

"Why?"

_"I'm not gonna let you lay here and waste awaaaaay. You better up, Gorgi, or I'll slap you up. Today's the daaaaay,"_

"OK, sheesh, just be cool!"

Fionna slapped Gorgi three feet away. _"I'm not gonna be cool! I'm piping hot!"_

_"Get up, Trevor!"_

_"OW!"_

_"Get up, Kyle!"_

_"Ouch!"_

_"I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU ROT!"_

Cake felt the dim like cease through her eyelids. She opened her eyes to see an annoyed Fionna. "Fionna! You can move your hand-body around! You're embracing your handness!"

_"Cake! Stop telling me to enjoy being a hand and get out of that trash!"_

"I can't take you seriously when you're singing, Fifi."

_**"GET UP!"**_

Fionna slapped Cake towards the others. "OK! OK! OUCH!"

_"All of you shut your yaps! I'll fix you with my slaps!"_

One by one, the Freaks and Cake were slapped out into the water and sunlight. They landed with splashes and yelps.

_"I'm gonna reconstruct y'alls self-worth, brick by emotional brick."_

In the rage, Fionna continued to slap the Freaks around until they were all grouped together, some of them on top, other next to.

"Wait, Fionna, stop!" Gorgi pleaded. "We don't like touching each other."

Fionna ignored her and slapped Wendy and Garla over to them. She stopped at the sight of them. "Wait a second. Kyle, get underneath Trevor."

"No, please! I flippin' hate Trevor!"

"KYLE! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Ok! Ok!" Kyle put himself under Trevor rather uncomfortably.

"Now for me!" Fionna hopped over. "Look at us!"

Zahra and Kyle were both positioned underneath Trevor. Gorgi was on top, between Wendy and Garla, with Fionna off to the side. They looked like a..._SuperFreak._

Cake gasped in awe.

'SuperFreak' looked into the water at their reflection.

"We're like a big, normal person." Gorgi said in awe.

"We're perfect together." Zahra agreed.

"Thank you, Fionna!"

"Thank you!"

"Word!" Fionna beamed. "Now let's go wreck up that Magic Woman! Who's with me?"

"Absolutely!" "Yeah!" "Right on!"

"Let me get in this. I'll be the clothes!" Cake wrapped herself around SuperFreak, tightening them together like tape.

"Food?"

Everyone froze.

"Food for a poor old hag?"

Fionna gasped.

"Food?" The black-clothed feminine figure repeated. "Any food?"

"We've got some milk left over." Gorgi said. "Waaaaait a second!"

The woman ripped off her black cloak.

"Yes! It is I, Magic Woman!" She beamed.

She shot some lasers at them. SuperFreak jumped out of the way just in time.

"Come on, Apple Grease! What cha gonna do?" Magic Woman challenged.

SuperFreak socked her in the stomach. Magic Woman skid across the water. "Are you sure about that?"

"DARN RIGHT WE ARE! WE'RE HUGE! And Gorgi has that laser-eye thing. GORGI, DO THAT THING YOU DO!"

Gorgi stared down at Magic Woman. A large red laser shot out of her eye. Magic Woman put up a shield around her.

"Is that all you've got?" She cackled.

"WE'VE GOT MORE!"

"Cut her in the eyes!"

"YOU CAN'T FOOL US ANYMORE WITH YOUR STUPID TRICKS!"

"My tricks as precisely as stupid as your whack innocence requires!"

_"NO MORE RIDDLES! GIVE US OUR BODIES!"_

Fionna slapped Magic Woman away ten feet in white-hot rage. She landed with a large splash in the water.

"Why should I? You only act like a heroin so you can get what you want!"

Fionna froze with realization. "That's it! You were trying to teach us a lesson about giving without expecting anything in return! I should have given you that candy without even THINKING of an award! Like how a hand helps a body with no payment!"

The others nodded. "Oh, yeah." "Right." "We were so self-absorbed."

_**"WRONG!"  
><strong>_

Magic Woman fired fireworks at SuperFreak. They all yelped and dodged the attacks. One firework hit Fionna in the face, which caused her to scream at the burning, fiery pain.

"FIFI! ARE YOU OKAY?" Cake screamed.

"I'm fine." Fionna rounded on the Magic Woman. "You've gifted us nothing but heartache, Magic Woman! What's the life lesson in that?"

"Yeah!" "She's right!" "What the flip!"

"You are SO close to the answer!" Magic Woman beamed.

SuperFreak jumped in the air. They landed down, Fionna pinning down the Magic Woman. "YOU'RE THE WORST! I SHOULD NEVER HAD TAKEN PITY ON YOU!"

"You're so close!"

_**"SHUT UP! I WISH I'D NEVER TAKEN PITY ON YOU, CAUSE YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A JERK! AND YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING!"  
><strong>_

_**"THAT'S IT! YOU'VE LEARNED THE LESSON!"**_

Magic Woman disappeared from under Fionna and appeared next to her. She clapped her hands.

SuperFreak was engulfed in a sparkly purple cloud. Fionna felt herself lurch and squirm until she hit the water. She looked around to see the others had returned to their true forms, her as well.

"Now I'm off to teach my lessons to other wusses!" Magic Woman disappeared, and Fionna was sure she wasn't going to be running into her for a while.

"I hate that gal." Fionna mumbled. "But at least now we can go back to our lives."

"Actually..." Gorgi mumbled, still sitting on top of Trevor, now a woman with short, choppy black hair and a smaller eye.

"We like being like this." Kyle said, still under Trevor, now a man with long, tied-back black hair and olie green eyes.

"Yeah, we like being like this," Zahra said, now a sort of woman with short pink hair and cloud-shaped clothes.

"Bye!" SuperFreak left, and Fionna smiled after her friends.

"What was the lesson we learned?" Fionna asked Cake.

"Don't give your sugar to jerks and/or don't talk to strangers?"

"Speaking of jerks...WHAT THE BLUBINS? Why did you want me to stay a hand when I wanted to be a girl again?"

"Because I...always..." Cake mumbled the last part.

"What?"

"I...kinda always wanted to be a hand myself."

"YOU COULD BE A HAND RIGHT NOW! I SAW YOU TURN INTO A HAND TWICE YESTERDAY!"

"Yeah, but..."

"BUT WHAT?"

"You'll understand when your older."

And with that, the human girl and cat left the bridge.

**TRIVIA**

"Freak City" was originally titled "Good Buddies".

Fionna sings in auto-tune again in this episode for "The Heroin Girl Named Fionna". The first song in auto-tune, Fionna's Baby Song, makes its debut in "The Bouncer", and Fionna sings in auto-tune again during the scene where she lays down in depression.

All of Cake's "happy thoughts" when the Magic Woman scares her are all small things that start with "B": "bees, babies, tiny, tiny bunnies."

It is implied that Cake has a hand fetish, being excited when Fionna turns into a giant hand. She also says that she loves the look of Fionna's foot-body.

It is unknown whether or not the village was burned to the ground after they threw Fionna under the bridge.

When Fionna was singing and trying to get Gorgi up, in the background Wendy and Garla were bouncing up and down.

Cake shows her dark side once again by saying that she will go into town and save only the babies.

When Fionna is in hand form, she has 5 hands, unlike when she was in her normal body.


	19. Minion

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Marshal Lee**—is a counterpart of Marceline. He has the same abilities as Marceline. Marshall Lee has pointy ears and light blue skin. His hair is shorter than Marceline's but he has a matching permanent bite mark. He initially wore a grey plaid shirt, but now wears a red and black plaid shirt. He also wears dark blue jeans, and brownish-white sneakers. His outfits differ in the episodes, though, like Prince Gumball. Though Marceline has circle-shaped eyes, his eyes are rectangular. Unlike Marceline's forked, snake-like tongue, Marshall Lee's tongue is rounded. Marshall Lee is a wild rock star. Centuries of wandering the Land of Aaa have made him a fearless daredevil. He and Marceline both have regular electric bass guitars.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Minion

_Title Card_

_Fionna awaits, scared, for her next order from Marshall Lee as he crosses his legs smugly. Cake watches through the window with worry._

Cake cheered and whooped as she slid down the 1/16-of-a-mile-long bone like a slide on her stomach. The bone-slide was bumpy yet smooth and perfect for sliding and making time records on. After a minute, she landed in the soft pile of dirt at the end.

"Do it, Fifi!" She called.

Fionna slid down the bone at lightning speed. When she reached the end, she crashed into the pile, practically exploding it. Fionna and Cake went flying everywhere.

"AWESOME!" Fionna cheered.

"Bonehead." Cake chuckled, pointing at her bone-shaped head, like she had swallowed a giant bone on the way down.

Fionna laughed.

_"Ohhhhhhh!" _

"Someone needs our help!" Fionna said quickly, already running. Cake puked out the bone and ran after her.

Fionna and Cake peeked through the bushes at the scene.

"What is it about MINION FOR LIFE that you don't understand?"

"Come on!" The old woman cried.

"Cupcake!" Fionna pointed at the pale-skinned, black-haired teen. "It's Marshall Lee! The Vampire King!"

Cake whimpered and fidgeted.

"I've served you faithfully, haven't I?" The old woman sobbed. "Can't you find the compassion to release this poor old body? Let me drink from the sweet cup of freedom?"

Fionna sniffed back a tear.

Marshall Lee sighed with a smile. Instead of his usual shirt and jeans, he was wearing a deep purple dress, ripped gray-and-black sleeves, ripped gray jeans, and purple sneakers. "Minion for life means...FOR LIFE!"

"Cupcake," Fionna whispered, never removing her eyes from the Vampire King, "Are you still petrified of vampires?"

"No..." Cake lied, now shrunken down to the size of a baseball, shaking. "I'm not..."

"Fall on the ground!" Marshall Lee demanded. "For me!"

"Please don't make me!" The old woman sobbed.

"DO IT, MINION!"

"Yes, Master..." The old woman plopped to the ground like her legs were shut off.

"Now cry for me."

"OK, I don't wanna cry, but I'll do it for you." The old woman mumbled into the grass. She began to bawl.

"HEY! CUT THAT OUT!" Fionna snapped, running from behind the bushes. Cake reluctantly ran after her.

Marshall Lee turned around. "Oh, hey, Fionna."

"Stop making this old gal cry!" Fionna yelled, wrapping her arms around the sobbing lady.

"I can make her do whatever I like." Marshall Lee smirked. "She's my minion. Watch. Minion, amuse me."

With a sigh, the old woman took her cane, stuck in into the ground, and lifted up from the ground, balancing on it in the air as Fionna and Cake looked on with shock. After a minute, however, the old woman began to shake and began to whimper.

"Stop it!" Fionna yelled angrily at Marshall Lee.

"Hop around in a circle." Marshall Lee said.

The old woman did so. She began to pant and heave.

The wooden cane snapped.

"OLD LADY!" Fionna screamed.

The woman fell with a strange crack on the ground. "My spine..."

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Fionna screamed, running to the old woman's side with Cake. She turned to the woman. "Don't worry, I'll see it that you're set free."

"How are you gonna pull that off, heroin?"

"I'll do what I need to do! I'll even take her place!"

"Do you mean it?" Marshall Lee smirked evilly.

"Uh..." Fionna looked down at the old woman.

The woman groaned in pain.

"YES I WILL!"

"WHAT?" Cake screamed.

"Well," Marhsall Lee paused, "A minion is a minion. Deal! Old minion, you're free! Fionna's my new minion now!"

"WOO HOO!" The woman cheered loudly before back-flipping out of view. "LATER, SUCKERS! I'M FREE!"

Fionna and Cake: 0o0

"Fifi, what are you doing?" Cake exclaimed. "You just made yourself a minion to the Devil's Concubine! You're probably going to have to murder children and puppies and stuff!"

Marshall Lee made a grotesque, nightmarish face with jagged teeth.

Cake yelped and hugged Fionna tightly.

"Maybe so," Fionna said softly, "But I couldn't let that old woman die a minion. My code of honor wouldn't allow it."

Marshall Lee laughed, causing Fionna and Cake to glare. "What a goody two shoes! _My code of honor wouldn't allow it. _I'm gonna like having you as my minion for life."

"MINION FOR LIFE MY TAIL!" Cake screeched. "LISTEN HERE, MARSHALL LEE!"

_"Yes, Cake?" _Marshall Lee said darkly. _"What would you like to discuss?"_

"N-nothing!" Cake ran behind Fionna. "I want to help you out of this, Fifi, but he scares the peanut out of my butter. Ya know? Let's just leave."

"I can't. As a heroin, I'm bound by my-WORD!"

Suddenly, Marshall Lee grabbed Fionna and flew into the air, Fionna in tow, into the sun-setting sky, over the trees.

_"DON'T WORRY, FIFI!" _Cake screamed after her. _"I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!"_

* * *

><p>"You're lucky, Fionna," Marshall Lee smiled as they drifted through the night sky. "Your first job as my minion is to help me feed."<p>

"Feed?" Fionna asked herself. "What does he mean? Like oats? Like sentient beings or oats? Like horse feed? What did I get myself into?"

As they were flying, a small cottage came into view on the horizon. It was very small, only one person could possibly live there, made of brown stone and straw roof. They landed in front of the cottage. Fionna's stomach twisted into a knot. Inside, you could hear a woman humming.

"Sounds like dinner." Marshall Lee said in a deathly serious voice. "Fionna, open the door."

"I can't do it." Fionna grunted to herself. "If innocents will be hurt. No way, Marshall Lee! I'm not opening that door!"

"You have to. You're code of honor bounds you to do it, doesn't it, heroin?"

"I..." Fionna sighed. "Yes."

Fionna opened the door.

A woman with long, curly blue hair and pale skin looked up from her keyboard and gasped, wearing a long-sleeved red dress with a blue ribbon. Her name-tag said EBONY.

"Hold her down." Marshall Lee commanded.

Fionna gave an uncomfortable sigh.

As Fionna and Marshall Lee entered the cottage, Cake looked on through the dense bushes. She slinked out from the bushes and came to the window, peeking inside.

"Are you enjoying this, Fionna?" Marshall Lee hissed.

"No." Fionna mumbled, pinning the woman to the floor of the cottage.

"What DO you enjoy?"

"Being nice, not doing bad things."

Cake growled in anger. "Don't you worry, Fifi. I'll get you out of there. I've got a great plan."

Marshall Lee must have heard her hummingbird-quiet voice because he looked up at the window at the cat. He hissed like a snake.

Cake yelped and ran back to the bushes head-first. "I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY, FIFI, THIS IS PART OF THE PLAN!"

"Please, young lady," Ebony cried, "Let me go!"

"I'm sorry, miss. I'm bound to do what he says."

"I understand. I myself was in a marriage, too..." Ebony let a tear fall.

"I AM NOT MARRIED TO THIS EVIL-"

"Enough talking!" Marshall Lee said. He swooped down on Ebony.

"NO!"

Fionna pulled Ebony out of the way.

"How dare you!" Marshall Lee hissed, eyes red. "You are my minion! I ORDER YOU TO LET ME FEED!"

He pointed a laser at Fionna's arms. Fionna felt her arms' bones turn to rubber, twisting them into a knot so that she could not move them whatsoever.

Marshall Lee hissed loudly at Ebony.

Ebony screamed.

Marshall Lee brought his head down on her, and Ebony shrieked.

Fionna screamed. _**"NOOOOOOOO!"**_

Marshall Lee sucked the last drops of red from Ebony's dress. "That red dress was delicious."

"...Huh?" Fionna felt her arms begin to renew themselves.

"What's wrong, Fionna?"

"I...I thought..."

Ebony opened her eyes. "What happened...?" She looked down at her dress. "Oh my! A white dress! Thank you...so much...this is so...beautiful..." She fainted.

Fionna gawked. "But...but..."

"What?" Marshall Lee asked innocently. "You know I eat the color red most of the time."

"Yeah, okay..."

"Fionna, you're doing a great job."

Fionna frowned.

"Come on, we have plenty more evil to do."

* * *

><p>"Ready to raise an army of the undead and ransack a castle of innocent victims?" Marshall Lee asked casually as he and Fionna sailed through the night sky.<p>

_What's wrong with this guy? _Fionna thought. _I can't tell if he's messing with me or what._

"Fionna, you brain dead?"

"Huh? No. I was just wondering if...I mean...Do you really need my help to do this?"

"Doesn't matter. You have to do what I say anyway, minion!"

Fionna took in a sharp breath.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, they landed in a graveyard. All of the graves were a deathly gray, the only plants growing parched and withered. The moonlight cast down an eerie glow.<p>

"I know this place may seem a little dead." Marshall Lee said. "But don't worry. Soon, it'll be...UNDEAD."

Fionna groaned.

_"Corpses buried in mud that's black_

_From death you will come back!"_

The graves shook like an earthquake. Arms popped up from the ground, followed by grotesque skeletons and skulls. Soon, Marshall Lee and Fionna were surrounded by hundreds of soldiers for an undead army.

"Ready to lead the army?"

Fionna: D:( "NEVER!"

A skeleton grabbed her shoulder.

"OK, I'll do it."

Cake watched on from the bushes once again. "Don't worry, Fifi." She grabbed a nearby razor-sharp stick. "I'll save you!"

With a war-cry, she ran out of the bushes. "I'LL SAVE YOU!"

Marshall Lee turned around. "Do you hear that?"

Cake shrank down.

Marshall Lee shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Fifi."

* * *

><p>Later, the army approached the Duchy of Nuts. The castle was over 130 feet high, made of hardened almond milk for the walls and breadnut for the ceiling. The windows were made of candlenut, and the floors made of chestnut.<p>

Marshall Lee turned to Fionna. "Are you ready to hear the screams of the entire castle and see the ground turn red with carnage and blood.

"Yeah. I'm totally ready to slaughter innocent people."

"Really?"

"Sure. Slaying innocent women and children? That's bombtastic!"

"Fionna, I'm pleased with your enthusiasm."

"My word is my word. I'm going to go check to see how good these people are...so we know how good to feel when we murder them."

Fionna ran ahead quickly. She pounded on the hazelnut doors.

A kola-nut female opened the door, dressed in a green dress and a name-tag that read LIZZIE. There was obviously a large party going on inside. "Duchess and Duke of Nuts residence."

"MY BOSS IS GONNA SACK YOUR CASTLE!"

"Well, that's certainly bad new for us."

_"GRAB ALL THE CHILDREN AND RUN!"_

"Lizzie! Who is at the door?" The Duchess, a female almond in a Snow-White-like dress asked, holding a newborn female betel-nut in a blanket as she sat on the pili-nut throne.

"Someone who wishes to sack the nut castle!" Lizzie answered.

The Duke and Duchess gasped.

"Why would someone want to sack my castle on my second daughter's first birthday?" The Duchess exclaimed. "GUARDS! SEIZE HER!"

"NO!" Fionna yelled. The guards pointed their cashew-spears at her. "NO! PUT DOWN YOUR SPEARS! WE HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS!"

The ground began to shake as the undead army approached. "LISTEN! DO YOU HEAR THAT? MY MASTER, WHO HAPPENS TO BE A TERRIFYING VAMPIRE, IS COMING WITH HIS ARMY OF THE UNDEAD! THE CASTLE WILL. BE. DESTROYED!"

"Don't be ridiculous." The Duchess giggled.

"I'M SERIOUS! HE'S ON HIS WAY TO ANNIHILATE!"

"That's hilarious!"

The footsteps came closer. Soon, the undead army way exactly a foot behind Fionna.

"NOW IT'S TOO LATE!" Fionna cried. "EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Marshall Lee flew above the army into the castle, his morning-star-style red guitar in hand, strumming a few chords. He landed on the floor, playing a short guitar solo.

"Don't do this, Marshall Lee," Fionna pleaded, "I beg of you! THESE ARE INNOCENT NUTS!" She began to sob. "PLEASE!"

Marshall Lee turned to her with a confused smile. "Don't do what?"

"You're late, Marshall Lee!" The Duchess beamed, wrapping an arm around him, the other still cradling her daughter. "My daughter is DYING to hear your undead music!"

"WHAT."

"I forgot Marshall Lee was playing tonight." Lizzie said.

"Yeah, me too!" Another walnut-guard agreed.

The undead army ran inside the castle. "PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"

"C'mon, Fionna, let's party." Marshall Lee told her.

"I'll...be there in a minute."

"Whatever." He flew over to the dance floor.

_OK, _Fionna thought, _He makes things seem bad, or his personality makes them seem bad. Or maybe I'm overreacting..._

"Hey, girl."

"Huh?"

Lizzie approached her, dancing quickly. "Why are you thinking so hard? PARTY HARD!"

Fionna smiled. "Alright!" She began to dance freely with the skeletons and Nut Civillians.

After a few minutes, someone called, "Hey, castle crasher!"

"Hm?" Fionna turned around to the approaching Marshall Lee.

"You like cute things, right?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure, why?"

"Then you might love this." He reached behind him. "THE CUTEST BLUSH PLANT EVER!"

The plant was held in a purple marble pot. It looked like two bushes. The lower one, the larger one, was a dark green, bearing abiu-like red fruit. The top one, the smaller one, was a lighter green and had a small, blushing face.

IT WAS ADORABLE.

"That IS the cutest plant ever!" Fionna gushed.

"Here." Marshall Lee plucked off one of the fruit and handed it to her. "Eat this and see what happens."

"Okay."

Fionna took a bite of it. It tasted like a peach. Her face grew a rosy blush. "Hey! I'm blushing!"

"I need you to do something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"I want you to kill this plant."

_**"WHAT?"**_

Marshall Lee's face became deathly serious. "TAKE MY MORNING STAR GUITAR AND DO IT OUTSIDE."

* * *

><p>Fionna stared down at the Blush Plant, nervously clutching the morning star. With a sigh, she looked down at the morning star. "I'm going to murder you. I'm not entirely sure why but I'm going to murder you. I'm sure this will end happy." She raised up the morning star.<p>

The Blush Plant opened its blue eyes and smiled up at her.

Fionna groaned and lowered the morning star. "I don't get it. Usually Marshall Lee stops something horrible before it happens. What's the twist?"

"There is no twist!"

Fionna span around to Marshall Lee, who was at the door, looking somewhat annoyed.

"Kill it now!"

Fionna turned her back to the Blush Plant. "Marshall Lee, what am I-"

The ground shook. Fionna span around and gasped.

The Blush Plant now stood ten feet before her. The plant, the adorable part, was still on top, but its pot had broken at the bottom. The roots of it had grown into a ten-foot-high monster. The large segment had a huge, cart-sized mouth with razor-sharp teeth. The roots had formed into three arms and five feet.

"You should have hacked it to pieces when it was still adorable." Marshall Lee sighed.

"But I thought-"

The Blush Plant Monster roared. It brought one of its massive hands down in an attempt to hit Fionna, but Fionna rolled out of the way. With the morning star, she cut the hand apart from the arm, causing the monster to shriek and a purple liquid to pour out of the arm like the Niagara Falls. The liquid shot right into Fionna's mouth. Instead of the fruit it had, it tasted like spoiled milk inside a rotting sock. Fionna looked down at her body and saw that the liquid was causing all of her to blush, her skin burning, so that she looked like a walking tomato. She sputtered out the juice, and her skin went back to normal.

When she was distracted, the Blush Plant Monster wrapped one of its roots around her and brought her up into the air.

The Adorable Blush Plant suddenly frowned. Its fruits burned to pieces and it pretty much exploded. It was now replaced with a dark green bush with a mouth perfect for Fionna's body with razor teeth.

It swallowed Fionna whole.

Marshall Lee smirked. "Oh boy."

He flew over to the top of the Monster as it licked its lips. He came to the smallest of a green flower on its head and plucked it off.

Immediately, the Monster wilted and went to the ground in a gray heap.

Fionna sliced out of the roots, covered in the purple liquid. She climbed away from the body and panted.

"Not bad for a minion." Marshall Lee shrugged, patting her on the head.

As Marshall Lee flew away, Fionna stared after him thoughtfully.

She smiled.

* * *

><p>As the sun rose, Marshall Lee opened up his black umbrella against the sunlight. He and Fionna were standing under a canopy of cherry blossom trees. They were everywhere as far as the eye could see, a vision of pink and red. Pink petals fell around them like snow. The air smelled like flowers and cherries. Small cherries, red and ripe, dotted the pink trees.<p>

"Can't the sun, like, destroy you?" Fionna asked Marshall Lee, looking at the rising sun.

"I like livin' on the edge."

"Don't you mean clippin on the hedge? I like clippin on the hedge."

Marshall Lee laughed. "Hey, Fionna." He plucked a large cherry from a low branch, holding it between his fingers. "Wanna...KILL SOME PIXIES?"

He turned to Fionna, who had two cherries and put them under her lips, the stems out, like vampire fangs. Like Marshall Lee, she hissed, _"Yesssssss."_

One of the cherries fell out. "Oops."

"Why are you being so casual about this?" Marshall Lee asked, balancing the cherry on his finger. "Killing pixies is pretty evil."

"Can't fool me anymore. I knoooooooow!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you won't let anything bad REALLY happen. That's your thing. You just like messin' with people."

At first, Marshall Lee frowned in denial, but then he burst into laughter. "Dang, girl, I thought you'd never catch on."

He brought the cherry to his lips and sucked out the red.

"I KNEW IT!" Fionna cried, doing a sort of jig.

"Ready to go kill some pixies?"

"Yes I am!"

As they laughed, Cake watched them from the cherry blossom trees. She was in a sort of body suit made out of cherry blossom petals dotted with cherries. She had garlic strapped to her waist. "My Fifi is totally under her vampire spell!"

"Hey, Marshall Lee," Fionna said, "What about your old minion? Who was that gal?"

"Neighbor. She gives me the best cherry pie."

Cake suddenly lunged out from the trees, a sharp piece of wood in hand. _**"DIE, UNHOLY MONSTER!"  
><strong>_

"Cupcake?" Fionna exclaimed.

Cake threw large pieces of garlic at Marshall Lee. They didn't really burn, but one hit his eye. He dropped his umbrella as he hissed in pain.

Fionna screamed. "HOLY MOLY!"

Marshall Lee shrieked in the sunlight. His skin began to bubble and he began to slightly smoke. He fell to the ground."

"Marshall Lee!" Fionna knelt beside him. "Oh man!"

"Fifi, stand back!" Cake commanded, taking out her piece of wood. "I'M STAKIN THIS VAMPIRE AND SETTING YOU FREE!"

"NO!" Fionna blocked Marshall Lee with her body. "He's alright, Cupcake!"

_"He's a bloodsucker from the bowels of the darkness. _And he's still controlling your mind with evil! Now back off and let me vanquish him from his existence!"

"I can't let you do that, Cupcake!"

Cake sighed. "...I love you, sista..."

She pounced on Fionna, sending her ten feet from Marshall Lee. They tumbled in the grass.

"Cupcake, listen!" Fionna cried. "Marshall Lee isn't as evil as he seems! He's a good friend!"

"Yeah!" Cake flipped her onto her back. "All my good friends give me DEATH!"

Fionna looked over at Marshall Lee as he crawled under the umbrella, away from the sunlight. Fionna kicked Cake off, sending her twenty feet away into the cherry blossom trees, and ran over to the umbrella.

"MARSHALL LEEEEEEE!" Cake screeched. She ran over to the umbrella, ripped Fionna away, and brought the wood down into the fabric of the umbrella.

After a few good stabs, she lifted up the umbrella only to find a sort of smokey male figure seconds before it disappeared. "Where is he?"

Fionna groaned and picked herself up from the ground. "Cupcake! You faced your fear and saved me!"

"I did?" Cake beamed. "I did! WAHOO!" She pulled Fionna in for a tight hug. "I SAVED MY SIS FROM A SCUM-SUCKING VAMPIRE!"

She ran away, laughing, until she could no longer be seen.

"Is she gone?" Marshall Lee asked, now in his small bat form, poking out from Fionna's backpack.

"Yeah." Fionna smiled. She brought out the umbrella.

"Fionna, I owe you big time." Marshall Lee beamed, flying out of the backpack into the shade of the umbrella. "Changing into a bat and hiding in your pack was genius!"

"That's what minions are for."

"Oh, that reminds me. You're fired from being my minion. It's no fun if I can't mess with you."

"We're still on for pixie killing tomarrow, right?" Fionna asked, handing him the umbrella.

"Definitely." Marshall Lee smiled, flying away into the sky.

TRIVIA

This is the second major appearance of Marshall Lee.

Marshall Lee calls Fionna a "Castle Crasher" during the party at the Duchess of Nuts' castle, which is a possible reference to the video game of the same name created by Tom Fulp and Dan Paladin.

This is the debut of Marshall Lee's Morning-Star-Bass, which seems to be the favorite of his three bass guitars.

In the cherry blossom trees, seen where Cake is hiding, one of the cherries is gray, indicating Marshall Lee drank the red out of it.

This is the last episode where Marshall Lee is shown as an antagonist, though technically he's only treated as evil by Cake with Marshall Lee performing many good deeds and guiding Fionna as such.

Marshall Lee's coat is made from Why-Cat hide.

In the title card, his clothes consist of a red tailcoat, a black button-up, and gray pants, instead of the clothes in the episode.

The title card depicts Marshall Lee being a little more serious and sensual than in the actual episode.

Marshall Lee might have set Fionna up to be his minion because as soon as Fionna told the Old Minion that she had taken her place the Old Woman suddenly became better and hopped away. Marshall Lee also stated that she was just a neighbor.

In the title card, Cake's head can be seen through a window.

**This episode is dedicated to Chipmunks Are My THANG. Thanx for the awesome reviews! XD**


	20. Dungeon

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Demon Dog-is the sly antagonist of _Dungeon _with a sadistic personality. She is a eton blue dog with razor sharp teeth and retractible claws. She has big blue eyes with brown flecks. Small sections of her left foreleg and hind leg are non-existent. She tail is aqua and spiny. She has small aqua spikes on her neck and chest.

Guardian Angel-A man/angel/beast who assists Fionna in the Dungeon. He is actually a monster in disguise of a guardian angel. He wears a Alice blue tailcoat, Celeste pants, a white button up, and Alice blue shoes. He has Celeste skin and large white wings and has white hair.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**DUNGEON**

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake, clad in silver armor, stand at the entrance of the dungeon as the monsters growl at them._

Prince Gumball, Fionna, and Cake were flying over the forest on Prince Gumball's car-sized Dove. Prince Gumball summoned it down, and Fionna and Cake hopped off of the bird onto the grass, Fionna with a hammer.

"Alright." Prince Gumball told the girls, still floating above on the Dove. "I need you to hammer all these safety signs around the Dungeon hole." He reached behind him and dropped down ten different signs saying different things, "I've gotta jet off on my Dove and take care of some royal junk."

"As you wish, Prince." Fionna smiled.

"What you want, Dada." Cake agreed.

"Gumball AWAY!" And with that last cry, Prince Gumball span around on the Dove and flew away into the clouds.

Fionna grabbed a _GO AWAY!_sign, set it in the ground, and began to pound it in with her hammer. Cake grabbed two signs and set them in the ground, morphed her paws into hammers, and began to pound them in. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."

LE FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

"That's the last sign, Cake." Fionna panted. "Now, no one will ever go down this hole, ever." She nodded over to the well-like circular hole in the ground. "Probably...a lot of dangerous stuff down there..." With a smile, she swung a foot inside. "I'll go check it out." She jumped in.

Cake frowned and reached inside the hole, bringing Fionna back up to the ground like she was fishing. "Don't, Fifi. For you see, that's the secret entrance to the Dungeon of the Golden Cornea."

Fionna gasped.

"Legend has it that the Cornea rests in the deepest chamber of this accursed dungeon." She scoffed and took out a large sack from who knows where. "Fifi, we shouldn't even be talking about it. It's lunch time."

_**LUNCH TIME!  
><strong>_

"The Golden Cornea..." Fionna whispered, looking inside the hole. "I wanna meet this Dungeon!"

Cake spread out a red-checkered blanket. "Maybe after lunch."

"I'll skip lunch." Fionna said, setting a foot on the stone of the hole. "Just catch up to me when you finish."

Cake scoffed and poured some soup from a thermos into a bowl. "Yeah, right."

Fionna frowned and turned to her. "What?"

"Without the aid of my magnificent powers." Cake morphed her hand into a weird shape, brought it to a soda can, and popped it open. "You'd get killed down there."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You _do not _have powers. You _will die _in that Dungeon."

"I can do this without you! You wanna bet I can't?"

"Nope." Cake held up a BLT. "Come get your sandwich!" Cake moved the sandwich so it looked like it was talking. _"Listen to Cake, Fifi. She only wants what's best for-AH!" _Cake stuffed the BLT in her mouth. _"HELP ME! _Come put him out of his misery, Fifi."

"We are betting! I bet I can get that Golden Cornea and be back within 11 minutes! READYSETGO!" She ran over to the hole and flew down.

Cake sighed. "I better go after her. Sorry, lunch." She held up the BLT. _"No, Cake. Stay here. With me."_

"Oh my..." Cake stuffed the sandwich into her mouth.

* * *

><p>Fionna laughed as she ran down the spiraling stairs. "Dungeons!"<p>

She came to the doorway. "Chambers!"

The room was filled with slimy monsters, growling at her. "Evil Creatures!"

She ran past them all to a nearby treasure chest. "Treasure!"

The treasure chest snapped open, revealing razor-sharp teeth and red eyes. "Crazy!"

The chest shot melted, steaming gold at Fionna, which she dodged and landed in front of a door. "Doorways!"

She walked inside, only for spikes to appear on the walls, closing in. "Traps!"

She jumped away. "I'M IN MY ELEMENT!"

She jumped inside a large chamber. Stairs were everywhere, like the doors, everything illuminated by the torches.

There was a soft whine. Fionna turned to one of the dark doors.

A small puppy poked its head out. "Awrf?"

Fionna immediately melted. "Awwww..."

The puppy's head turned around 180 degrees with a cracking sound.

"Awwww...?"

The puppy disappeared, replaced with a large wolf-sized dog. It looked alienic, with its mad colors and strange body.

"Somebody come pick up your freaky dawg!" Fionna smiled.

"Greetings, Fala the Human Girl." The dog said in a feminine voice.

"How did you know almost know my name?"

"I have approximate knowledge of many things." The Demon Dog smirked. "For instance, I know that I am possibly going to slaughter you and munch on your eyeballs..."

Fionna fidgeted. "Uh...That's idiot talk!"

"You're trespassing on my dungeon." The Demon Dog began to circle around her like a wolf. "And I'm the thing you should be afraid of."

"You can't hurt me! I'm a rad gal on a mission for the Golden Cornea!"

"I'm gonna strip your skin and wear you like a coat."

"STRIP THIS!" Fionna lunged for her.

Demon Dog lunged for her, pinning her to the stone floor. She flashed her razor-sharp teeth. Fionna brought her fist to Demon Dog's muzzle, causing her to stumble back.

Demon Dog growled. _"Now you die."_

She pounced on Fionna, sinking her teeth into her blue shirt. She shook Fionna back and forth like a rag doll. Fionna screamed as her head span.

Suddenly, Demon Dog froze. "Wait a second..." She sniffed Fionna.

She suddenly shrieked and stumbled back, dropping her on the floor. She cowered away from her like she was a monster. "CAT SMELL? Y-you...have a cat...with you? I'M OUTA HERE!" And with that, she ran away.

"Yeah right, good excuse!" Fionna called after her. Her shirt now had large holes in it where Demon Dog has bit her. "Dang...that dog was kicking my buns. And it might have finished my buns if it weren't for Cupcake's skank. DANG IT, CUPCAKE! I'LL GET THE GOLDEN CORNEA ON MY OWN! With my own odors."

* * *

><p>"Carrying on." Fionna said as she continued through the corridors choices. "Let's see...No skeletal remain corridor..." She came up to an empty one and threw a rock in. Jaws with razor-sharp teeth bit down on it. "No monster mouth doors. Oh! Giant key door it is!"<p>

She ran up to the giant-key-door and took the handle. It didn't open.

Fionna sighed. "If Cupcake was here, she could stretch her hand into a key and open it."

She looked down at her hand and concentrated, balling it into a hard fist. Her thumb and index finger formed an 'o' and her middle, ring, and little finger pointed upwards. "Key-hand!"

She stuck her hand into the huge lock and began to twist it. But soon, she felt red-hot pain shoot through her fingers and she was sure one of her fingers broke. She brought her hand back out, only to see that her fingers had twisted and crinkled.

She looked down at a small drain. A light glowed from it. "What the jug is that?"

She crouched down and looked inside. She saw the key. "Oh, sweet! The key!" She pulled the bars away and crawled inside.

_"Oh, key,_

_We're meant to be._

_I want to have you're baby_

_Oh key, you're so good to me."_

When she crawled inside, she saw the key right in front of her. She reached for it. Her hand stuck before it.

"AH! Jelly cube?" She looked around and saw that her hand was stuck in the blue, Jell-O like substance. Two bulging eyes stared at her.

She tried to bring her hand back, but the Jelly Cube pulled it in. Soon, her arms and leg were stuck in. "Ugh! Come on! Give it to me! Don't flaunt it, if you're not..."

Her entire right side was engulfed, and it continued to swallow her. It grabbed her from behind and sucked her in. Soon, only her face was pointing out. She gasped for air. She pulled back, and finally fell on the stone floor, covered in the Jell-O. "I'll never get that Golden Cornea...No. No, I just gotta stay pumped. Pump it up!" She began to do a jig. "Pump it up! Woo! Shake it! Shake it!"

The floor gave away.

"AHHHHH!"

She hit the floor hard in a cloud of dust. She looked around. The chamber was filled with crater-like formations containing sparkling water. The water shot up like geysers. It was beautiful, but it was also sort of...creepy.

"Okay, Fionna. This play is probably more scared of you than you are of it." She walked down the stairs to the floor.

"HALT!"

Fionna looked around.

"Come no further, adventurer."

A small creature came to her. She was about two feet high, made of steel and silver, spikes covering her body and translucent wings on her back. She had large green eyes. "For you see, no one can defeat the Bucket Sprite."

"Okay. Then I won't fight you."

"No! You must challenge me to-"

"Hey cutie, you know how to get to the Golden Cornea from here?"

"Yes, it's through that door, but-"

Fionna walked past her. "Hey!"

Fionna waved her off.

"YOU CANNOT PASS THROUGH THE DOOR WITHOUT FIGHTING ME!"

"Yes I can. Because I'm huuuuuuge compared to you!"

"I'm not waiting for your challenge."

"What?"

"Just add water." She took the bucket in ehr hand and poured water on her head. "EXPONENTIAL GROWTH!" She grew to the size of a farm, like some sort of spell. She towered over Fionna, her shadow covering her.

Fionna: 0_0 "Oh buckets..."

"ACTIVATE THINE POWERS!" The Bucket Pixie cried. "AND WE SHALL ENGAGE IN THRILLING SINGLE COMBAT!"

"Heh...the thing is...I don't really have any...powers...heh heh..."

"I see."

LE 1 MINUTE LATER

Fionna ran screaming from the Bucket Pixie. She ran after her, its feet causing the ground to quake.

"Dang it...Cupcake wouldn't run. She'd grow all big. AND SOCK YOU RIGHT IN THE NOSE!"

Bucket Pixie laughed demonically. Her foot slammed down only three feet from Fionna, the force sending Fionna flying ahead. She went through a geyser, skidded across the ground, and fell roughly into a small crater. "Aw nutzoids..."

Bucket Pixie set her stomach to the ground and slid down to her like a penguin. She brought her fists ahead. Fiona felt the impact like a train, sending her crashing through the entire crater, water drenching her.

Fionna groaned and stood. "C-come on! All aboard the knuckle train to FistPlanet!"

She leaped up and brought out her fist, only for Bucket Pixie to smack her hard, and she crashed to the ground.

"I rode the knuckle train? But I'm in my element."

Bucket Pixie began to charge towards her. Fionna picked herself up and began to ran, the Bucket Pixie not twenty feet behind her. A large door came into view before Fionna. She smiled hopefully, but then frowned when she saw the Bucket Pixie was reaching for her. She jumped ahead just as Bucket Pixie touched her back and crashed right through the door. By this time, she was covered in scratches, bruises, and dirt. Her clothes were shredded and she had a black eye.

She rolled down a steep, rocky hill until she crashed onto the stone floor. "That stuuuuuuuuunk. Alright, Fionna, you're in a heavy pickle here. You don't have Cupcake, but you can still handle this."

Little did she know that Demon Dog had been resting on one of the pillars that towered above her. She stirred awake, surprised by the sudden voice. She realized it as the Human Girl, and silenced to listen.

"You can still get that Golden Cornea!" Fionna told herself. She began to walk ahead.

"Heyyyyyy my dinner's back."

Fionna froze and turned toward the feminine voice above her.

"And you're CAT isn't with you?" Demon Dog asked. Apparently, she had heard that part. "That's what you said, right? Mistake the Cat isn't with you?"

"You mean Cupcake?"

"Mistake. Cupcake. Whatever. She's not here. Which means I'm going to rip your heart out."

Fionna began to run. "Crud crud crud crud crud!"

Demon Dog ran after her, licking her lips. They came to a chamber filled with large pillars and rocks that one could easily hide behind.

"You can't hide from me, Finlay!" Demon Dog snarled as Fionna disappeared. "I know almost everything, remember?"

Fionna, who was hiding behind a large stone, shivered.

"I know where you might be, Finlay. I'm about to jump on you. One..."

Fionna whimpered.

"...Two..."

Fionna clutched her knees to her chest.

"Three!"

Nothing came.

"Dang it, I thought you'd be behind this rock. Hm. Okay. I know where you are and I'm about to jump again! One..."

Fionna shivered again.

"Two..."

Fionna braced herself.

"Three!"

Nothing.

"Oh, darn it! Well, there's only a few more places to look."

"Oh, Cupcake," Fionna sighed, "I'm such a fool. A silly, little fool."

"Shhhh..." Someone pressed a finger to her lips.

She jumped. "WHO THE HECK?"

"Hey, it's okay." The almost-translucent man said. He floated above the ground, thanks to his wings. His eyes were a shocking blue, his white bangs just above them. He was very handsome, a lot more handsome than Prince Gumball or Marshall Lee.

Nevertheless, Fionna cowered from him. The man smiled and pressed a finger to her lips again. "Shhhh. I'm you're Guardian Angel, Fionna. I'm here to save you." His shocking blue eyes shone.

"R...Really?"

"Mmhmm." He nodded. "Come here, let the Angel pick you up." He put one of his arms around her shoulders, the others under her knees, bridal-style. Fionna blushed.

His wings flapped once, and soon they were soaring at jet-speed into the air.

"This is radical!" Fionna cheered, beaming.

"Are you comfortable?" The Guardian Angel asked. "Would you like some snacks?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Here, let me clean you up and mend your clothes."

He touched Fionna in the middle of her nose. Immediately, Fionna felt the burning cuts and stinging black eye melt away until her skin was yet again flawless, and her clothes were in perfect condition.

"I'm taking you to the chamber of the Golden Cornea." The Guardian Angel said.

"AWWW YEAH!"

"-Where I'm going to cook you and eat your flesh."

"Wait. What?"

"Trust in your GUARDIAN ANGEL, FIONNA!" The 'Guardian Angel's' handsomeness melted away. His teeth turned yellow, his eyes red, his skin gray.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU'RE FACE?"

"What?" He said in a snarling voice.

"LET GO OF ME, CRAZY!"

"As you wish."

He let go of Fionna. Fionna nearly screamed, but she fell in what she first thought was water but then found out it was something else. She looked at the brothy substance, floating with veggies and greens and herbs. She looked around, surprised that she was in a golden birdcage, filled at the bottom with a sort of soup.

Fionna sighed. "Everyone wants to eat me! Probably because I'm so sweet.

"Now, for little idiot soup!" The ANGEL OF DEATH snarled, rubbing his hands together.

He swooped below and turned on a sort of stove. Immediately, Fionna felt the soup turn a bit warmer.

"The secret is a low flame over a long period." The Angel of Death said.

"That's Cupcake's secret, too. I hope she saves me."

Suddenly, the Angel of Death's face turned to its very handsome, kind face again. "I shall save thee, Fionna." He floated upward.

Fionna: -_- "Dude. You are sick." Fionna sighed, tearing up. "Oh, Cupcake."

"What?"

Fionna span around and saw a white-and-coffee cat leaning against the bars of the cage.

"CUPCAKE!"

"FIFI!"

Fionna ran at lightning speed through the soup over to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you, Fifi! I was so worried that right after lunch, I plunged into the Dungeon after ya. Strangest thing, though, I kept running into obstacles."

_"Choose your dueling weapon!" The evil enchantress snarled at Cake._

_"Eh...um..." Cake looked around. "I choose...this burger."_

That didn't end well.

_The Goblin Queen threw the rock fifty feet away from them._

_**The challenges were impossible for me.**_

_Cake attempted to throw hers, but it only went ten feet away._

_**But you would have blown right through them!  
><strong>_

_The Goblin pointed the laser to the floor in a circle. Cake followed it, eyes wide._

_**I kept asking myself, What would Fifi do?**_

_The Goblin pointed the laser at the wall. Cake ran right into it._

"It was just so...frustrating. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I think I do." Fionna smiled.

They both chuckled nervously. They then shook hands awkwardly.

**NEWFOUND RESPECT!**

"Now let's figure out how to get out of this cage." Fionna said.

"Got it covered." Cake molded her paw. "WITH KEY-HAND!"

"I don't see any keyholes in this cage, though."

"Not a problem." She molded her other paw. "LOCK HAND!"

"I'll get us out." Fionna fished in the soup and brought out a veggie. "With carrot hand."

She leaned out of the cage and set the green of the carrot over the low flame. It caught fire, and she held it up to Cake. She stretched her arm and put it to the rope.

It snapped.

The Angel of Death, who was knitting a scarf, heard an odd sound and looked up.

The cage fell on him.

The entire cage went down in a huge pile of rubble, dust, soup, and gold.

Cake popped out in a dusty cloud. "C'mon, Fifi! We still got a few minutes to get the Golden Cornea and win your bet!"

"Wait." Fionna popped out of the pile. "You wanna help me win a bet I made about how I could accomplish something without you?"

"Just hop on my mango, girl!" Cake smiled, getting down on all fours.

"Cling!" Fionna hopped on.

They ran out the door, laughing.

LE 1 MINUTE LATER

They entered the biggest chamber of all. There was a huge staircase that led up to the GOLDEN CORNEA. It resembled a glowing gold sphere of awesomeness.

"There it is!" Fionna beamed excitedly.

They quickly ran up to the Golden Cornea. It was the size of a beach ball.

"Let's give this the good ol' friendship lift!" Cake said, setting her paws on the side of the Golden Cornea.

They lifted it up from the stand.

There was a growling sound.

Fionna froze. "Whoa."

Something shot up from the stand where the Golden Cornea was. They were fiery eyeballs, growling with fury at them. Fionna and Cake gasped.

They plunged the Golden Cornea back down on the stand, but it shot back up in flames.

"FRIENDSHIP GOOOOO!" Cake shrieked.

They ran back to the doorway of the chamber, but it closed shut. They turned back to the eyeballs, and Fionna brought her ruby sword out, slashing at the eyeballs. Cake fought them off with her morning-star-shaped paws.

Fionna smelt a rotting, burning smell. She looked at her sword. It was beginning to melt from the heat of the eyeballs. Cake's paws caught fire, and she screamed and put them out.

"At least if I die, I'll die with my sister." Fionna said as the eyeballs closed in on them.

"Me too." Cake hugged her tightly.

Suddenly, something very bright and white shot through one of the eyeballs. It exploded. Fionna and Cake looked up.

"I TOLD YOU TO HAMMER IN THOSE SIGNS SO NO ONE WOULD COME IN HERE!" Prince Gumball groaned as he flew in on his Dove through a hole in the roof of the chamber. He landed down next to them. "Get on my Dove!"

Fionna and Cake laughed with joy as they hopped on.

An eyeball shot a laser at them through its cornea. The Dove's eyes glowed white and small beams shot out of it, attacking the eyeballs into flames. The Dove picked up the Golden Cornea and shoved it back into the stand.

Fionna and Cake cheered.

Prince Gumball turned to them. "I hope you've learned a lesson from all this!"

"We learned we're sisters after all!" Cake said.

"Yeah!" Fionna agreed.

Prince Gumball: ):-(

"Looks like that's not the answer he wanted." Cake whispered to Fionna.

"We...also learned you are a very...intelligent prince."

_"You darn right I am!"_

TRIVIA

Fionna makes a bet saying she'll get to the Crystal Eye in less than 11 minutes, this is a reference to the length of a single episode.

This episode was originally titled "Dungeon Masters."

It is possible that Cake has also made little kid soup before. When the guardian angel states the cooking process for the soup, Fionna claims that that's also how Cake makes it. It is more likely that Fionna has witnessed Cake cook normal soup before,

After PG says to hammer the signs around the dungeon Cake says "Whatever you want dada!"

The drink container that Fionna and Cake drink out of has a viola key design on it.


	21. The Duchess

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

Duchess of Nuts-is the ruler of the Nut Kingdom. She is a female almond. She has a almond-textured head and short, curly brown hair. She wears a long, V-cut dark blue dress with red sleeves with yellow diamonds. She also wears red flats.

Duke of Nuts-is the ruler of the Nut Kingdom, alongside the Duchess. He is a male pecan. He has a pecan-shaped head under a cashew crown. He wears a red tailcoat, blue trousers, and black shoes.

Marquise of Nuts-the daughter of the Duke and Duchess. She is a female Macadamia nut. She has brown eyes, and white skin. She wears a red dress and brown shoes and wears her shell as a mask (or armor.)

Chipmunk-is a animal who personally hates Cake because she ignores her questions for her newspaper article. She has chocolate fur and two black stripes going down her back along with a single white stripe. She has green eyes and dimples.

THE DUCHESS

_Title Card_

_The Duchess of Nuts spins around, her face coated in chocolate, to the opening door in shock._

A cloud of fireworks erupted from the Candy Castle's moat. Fionna and Cake cheered. Earlier, whilst they were digging around in the forest, they found a wagon filled with spheres and decided to break them to see the various results.

"Firework Fun was awesome." Cake chuckled, digging into the wagon and pulling out a kelly green sphere with gold flecks. She read the small engraving on it. "But Troll Toggle has to be better. Why don't you give it a go?"

"Alright." Fionna took the sphere and held it above her head. "Here goes."

She smashed it against the moat's wall. It smashed into pieces. A puff of gray smoked appeared, forming into a female troll, growling before disappearing.

"Here's Triple Dog Dare." Cake said, taking out a chocolate brown sphere with lighter brown stripes.

"Throw it!" Fionna cheered.

Cake threw it against the wall. A puff of brown smoke appeared. Soon, transparent dogs were jumping about, barking madly before disappearing.

There was a distant thumping noises. They both looked up to see someone running across the bridge of the moat. Fionna thought she looked familiar, then recognized her as the Duchess of Nuts from the party she and Marshall Lee had gone to.

"YEAH, GO ON, GET OUTTA HERE!"

They turned to the gates of the castle. Prince Gumball stood there, looking very angry. He was shaking a fist after the Duchess.

"UNLESS YOU WANT A FIST BISCUIT, YOU BETTER KEEP RUNNING!"

The Duchess ran off into the distance.

"DUCHESS OF NUTS, I SEE YOU BEHIND THAT TREE! YOU BETTER KEEP RUNNING IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA! Oh whatever. I've got things to do."

"What the lumps is going on?" Fionna asked Cake, confused. "PG's looking pretty riled up."

"I hate no idea, but it's probably best to stay out of it."

Fionna dug around in the wagon and pulled out a cal poly green sphere with gray and black spots. "This one looks super funny. Let's see what it does."

She threw it at the wall...

...only for it to spin around like a boomerang.

"Man, I threw it too hard." Fionna grumbled, dashing over to catch it.

It flew over her head...and right through one of the castle windows.

Fionna and Cake: (0_0)

"DUCHESS OF NUUUUUUUTS!"

Prince Gumball came to the door. His skin was gray, his quiffed hair gone, now leaving him bald. He looked like an ogre.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOONE?"

The Duchess gasped and ran off like a bullet.

"She thinks that Nut gal did it!" Fionna gasped. "We gotta go clear up what happened!"

* * *

><p>"Don't worry, son." Dr. Icepop said, patting the black flax suit Prince Gumball was wearing comfortingly. "It's not that bad. I'll have you fixed up in no time."<p>

"Prince!" Fionna ran into the room. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, if gray and bald is okay." Prince Gumball grumbled.

Fionna gasped.

Cake suddenly went into hysterical laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I-I'm sorry. I-I c-can't stop now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Prince Gumball face-palmed. "It really IS as bad as I thought."

"Not to worry." Dr. Icepop assured him. "The medicine yogurt in this suit will get you healed lickey-split. In just five days, you'll be back to your great, gumbally self."

"FIVE DAYS?" Prince Gumball yelped. "The Great Meeting of Aaa Royalty is TONIGHT! I LOOK LIKE A FOOL!"

A hole popped on his suit, squirting out the yogurt. Cake flinched.

"Don't get too riled up, you'll burst the suit." Dr. Icepop told him.

"Actually, there's something I need to tell you, PG," Fionna said. "About that sphere that flew in there..."

"It's OK, Fionna, I know. I always know." Prince Gumball said as Dr. Icepop put a band-aid over the hole in the suit.

"Really? That's weird, cause it really just happened..."

"The Duchess of Nuts has always been a bad woman. But now that she's done THIS? I'll _NEVER _forgive her."

"Oh, man, that gal must be awful." Fionna said. "But in this particular case-"

"And it's not just because I hate the Duchess." Prince Gumball snarled. "I'd never forgive ANYBODY who did THIS to me. I'd HATE them."

"Yeah, but-"

**"FOREVER!"**

_"Forever?" _

"Yes!" Prince Gumball said as Fionna and Cake exchanged panicked glances. "Finally, I have a WITNESS to his misdeeds!" He pointed his index finger at Fionna.

"Two witnesses!" Cake beamed.

"TWO WITNESSES!" Prince Gumball corrected.

Fionna turned to the cat. "CUPCAKE!"

"Fionna."

Prince Gumball took Fionna's head and forced her to look at him. "Fionna, my flawless champion. Bring the Duchess of Nuts to justice. The justice...OF A COLD DUNGEON! HAHHAHAHAHAHA!" He burst into hysterical laughter, letting Fionna dash away.

Fionna laughed nervously. She pulled Cake over. "What do I do? If I tell him I did it, he'll hate me forever!"

"Don't worry, that won't happen. We're gonna catch that gal!"

"But WE'RE the ones who threw the sphere!"

"Girl. We're GOOD girls. The Duchess of Nuts is BAD girls."

"Why does that matter?"

"Think about it. If Prince Gumball hates him so much, then she MUST have done rotten junk." Cake began to pace around, like she was lecturing her. "Horrible junk. And she never got punished...for like...Hmmm..."

_The Duchess of Nuts cackled as she rode on her peanut dragon. It screeched as she pointed her cashew spear ahead. It shot flames at the Candy Kingdom. Causing it to go into flames._

_OR_

_The Duchess of Nuts ran out of the bank, her bags filled with stolen money. She shot down anyone who got in her way with lasers._

_OR_

_"Pe'CANT' you fly?" The Duchess of Nuts screamed, pushing Cake off of the cliff._

_OR_

_"CHESNUT your day, Cake?" The Duchess of Nuts cackled, smashing her fist through the tree, causing it to crush Cake as she drank her hot chocolate._

_OR_

_Cake walked along the bridge. Suddenly, the Duchess of Nuts popped out of nowhere and pushed her off. "You've been a SALTED nut!"_

_"You're CRACKED, Duchess!" Cake snarled, grabbing onto one of the wooden boards of the bridge helplessly. "I hope someday, some GIRL is heroic enough to frame you!" She fell limp. "And I'm dead."_

Fionna: O_o

"And..." Cake crawled on Fionna's head. "I heard she even turned the prince grey and bald."

"THE DUCHESS MUST BE CAUGHT!" Fionna screamed, pushing Cake off. "Just this once, we'll be vigilantes!"

"Nah, we're more like cops. Crooked cops." Cake pretended to shoot a gun.

"Prince," Fionna said, "I won't rest until the villainous Duchess is captured!"

_"THANK YEW, FIONNA." _Prince Gumball snarled.

"Whoa. Okay. Then, hopefully, you've taken care of all...this." She gestured to her whole face.

Fionna loaded up her 'gun' before running out the window.

* * *

><p>"Where do we begin our search..." Fionna said, playing with the straps of her backpack.<p>

"Well...How about there?"

Fionna looked ahead and saw the Nut Castle, just as she remembered it.

"The Castle of Nuts."

They ran to the castle and kicked open the hazelnut doors.

"DUCHESS OF NUTS!"

"HOWAREYOU!"

Someone was sitting in front of the Brazil nut fireplace. The chairs turned around, revealing a body, but there was no face on its head.

Fionna winced. "By order of Prince...Um...Prince..."

Suddenly, the head turned around, revealing the Duke of Nuts.

Fionna and Cake gasped.

"Hello, Fionna. You're here to arrest the Duchess?" The Duke said eerily.

"How did you-?"

"The nuts told me. For I am the Duke...Of nuts..."

"I am the husband of the Duchess." The Duke said. "I know of her crime against the Prince. A crime that YOU PERSONALLY witnessed. _And why would YOU lie?"_

Fionna fidgeted. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, but she was once such a wonderful woman. She donated blood for charity."

_The Duchess of Nuts beamed as the doctor came with the needle for the blood donation._

"And then she would buy it back."

_The Duchess handed the doctor a few dollar bills and took the jar of blood from her._

"She even taught unprivileged nuts how to dance."

_"Step, step, rock step." The Duchess said to the almonds._

_One fell over._

_"Gracious me!" She ran over and set it back up._

"But somehow, she's gone rancid. And ours is a lawful kingdom. If my wife has committed this atrocity." The Duke reached for a bowl of nuts. "The nuts tell me he must be executed. Would you like to hear...WHAT MY NUTS HAVE TO SAY?"

Fionna jumped. "That...uh...won't be necessary."

Cake froze, her hand inches away from a bowl of nuts. "I...probably should have asked if these were his children or something..."

Fionna pulled her away from the bowl.

"IF YOU BRING HER BODY, WE CAN MAKE PEANUT BRITTLE FROM HER BONES!"

Fionna slammed the door, draining out the Duke's voice. "I don't get it, Cupcake. How can the Duchess be evil if she does all that nice stuff?"

"You BELIEVE that? He is psycho nuts. You want to frame her, instead?"

"My conscience hurts."

"Listen, girl. We can go back and face the music. Who cares if Prince Gumball hates you forever? Tons of people hate me."

* * *

><p>The Chipmunk turned on her holographic newspaper.<p>

"Why, Cake?"

She looked at Cake's newspaper article, _Pleads the Inquest._

"Why won't you print my letters? I...I..." She slashed her arm through the newspaper. "I HATE YOU!"

* * *

><p>"I don't think I can handle that!" Fionna whimpered.<p>

There was a snap of a twig. They turned to the gates and saw someone running away.

"It's the Duchess of Nuts!" Fionna gasped.

They ran after her. She ran into the forest, and they followed.

"Duchess!" Fionna called, pushing past a hazel tree.

"Come on, Fionna. I'll plane the gun on her." Cake said.

"Oh, no! Cupcake's gone wrong, too!" Fionna said to herself. "Very wrong. Just might have to frame her next."

She slapped herself.

They continued to charge after the Duchess of Nuts. Eventually, they came to a split in the path of the woods.

"I'll break right." Fionna told Cake. "You break left."

The Duchess turned right, and just as she jumped, Fionna grabbed her by the waist.

Cake fell after them. "Iwentrightoo!"

The Duchess struggled under Fionna on the grass and dirt. Fionna cocked an eyebrow. The Duchess looked a LOT different than she remembered.

"Stand DOWN, Duchess of Nuts!" Fionna snarled.

"No one will harm the Duchess!"

Suddenly, the 'Duchess's' shell fell off, revealing a nine-year-old nut-girl. "I shall kill whoever seeks to arrest her!"

"You are waaaaaaaaay smaller than I thought you were." Fionna said confusedly.

"Fifi," Cake sighed, "That's totally not her."

"I dunno...maybe it was just that her other outfit was...poufier...and made her look...bigger or something."

"I WILL KILL YOU IN THE NAME OF THE DUCHESS OF NUTS!"

"This has gone far enough! Put her down, please!" a voice suddenly cried.

The 'Duchess' squirmed. "NO!"

"It's okay, daughter." The REAL Duchess of Nuts suddenly stepped out from the trees. "It's me they want."

The Marquise of Nuts broke away from Fionna and ran into her mother's arms. "No! Go back into the forest!" She turned back to Fionna and Cake, who were gaping. "No! I won't let you take her away!"

The Duchess made her daughter look at her. "Daughter, please. Go back home. Protect your father, and your sister, and the other nuts."

"But you were FRAMED! You didn't do ANYTHING! I CAN'T let them take you away!" She bawled on her mother's dress.

"Who's the toughest little nut?" The Duchess smiled at her. "You are!"

The Marquise cried louder.

The Duchess looked at Fionna and Cake and mouthed, 'One second.'

Fionna gestured between her and Cake and pointed away to a clearing.

The Duchess gave her a thumbs-up.

* * *

><p>"I dunno, Cupcake!" Fionna groaned, sitting on an oak log. "That gal seems super nice. But PG declared her a super villain! Why would he hate her if she was such a nice guy?"<p>

"I dunno." Cake shrugged her furry shoulders. "Just because she's a good mom doesn't necessarily mean she's a good gal. Probably a villain underneath."

"Yeah, I guess. But that doesn't look villainous."

Cake turned around. The Duchess and her daughter were helping a mother bird feed her chicks.

"I could probably think of a way for that to be villainous. Maybe."

"Maybe we should just confess. But then..." She buried her face in her hands. "PG will hate us FOREVER!"

"Hey, Fifi." Cake put a comforting arm around her. "Being hated isn't THAT bad."

An envelope flew to her paw.

"Come on." The Chipmunk murmured. "Pick it up! Read it!"

Fionna and Cake left the log. Cake stepped on the envelope.

_"You son of a bloop-bleep."_

"Sorry to make you wait." The Duchess apologized as she approached Fionna and Cake. "I just had to make sure my daughter was OK, and send her home sick, and then these baby birds needed to be fed." She brought out two braided crowns made of baby's breath. "I also made you these crowns of gratitude for waiting." She sighed. "I need to sit down."

Fionna and Cake led her over to go sit down on the log. "Is the forest spinning for you guys, too?" The Duchess turned to Fionna. "I know this is an odd question, but you wouldn't happen to have any fudge on you, would you?"

"Actually, I think I hate some in my pack." Fionna dug around in her backpack. She brought out a small plastic wrap containing a large square of double-chocolate mint fudge and handed it to the Duchess.

"Oh. thank you." The Duchess took it gingerly.

Fionna dug around in her backpack again. "I think I have a napkin here, too." She turned back around and frowned.

The Duchess had fudge all over her face.

"I guess you don't need it."

"What happened to the plastic?" Cake asked.

The Duchess dug around in her mouth and put the soggy plastic wrap in her paw.

"I'm so embarrassed." The Duchess buried her head in her knees. "Now you know my shame. I can't stop eating fudge!"

"So that's why Prince Gumball hates you?"

"Yes, but he doesn't know I have a rare condition. A fudge deficiency. I don't tell people because I don't want them to feel bad for me. I don't need anyone's pity! I always end up eating all of the royal fudge supply whenever I go to the palace. I know that's wrong, but I never turned the Prince gray and bald! I would never do such a thing!"

"It's all my fault." Fionna sat beside her. "You're such a nice gal. I'm the one that threw that sphere. It flew into the castle by accident. I was gonna tell him, but then he started talking all crazy and I got scared!"

"Hey, it's okay." The Duchess smiled at her. "I totally understand. It was a misunderstanding."

"Now you're making me feel worse for being so nice about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I should just confess to the crime."

"Wait! I have an idea that will save everyone's reputation!"

* * *

><p>Prince Gumball's animal-cracker-horse driven, Peppermint-Maid leaded, melted sugar carriage rode down the trail under the starry sky. He sat in the back, the carriage-pool filled with the medicine yogurt as he was purple swimming trunks and had his arm resting on the side.<p>

Out of nowhere, Fionna jumped in front of the carriage. "Halt!"

"Fionna!" Prince Gumball beamed. "Have you killed the Duchess yet?"

"Y'mean 'capture' her?"

"Yeah, I suppose." Prince Gumball waved a hand as if to say 'whatever.'

"Not yet." Fionna wiggled her fingers. "But you are in grave danger, Prince."

Prince Gumball scoffed.

"There's an assassin! In these very woods! Dead-set on stopping you from reaching the Great Meeting. In fact, what's that rustling in the bush?"

_"Rustle. Rustle. Rustle."_

The Assassin/Cake jumped out of the bush, a red mask around her eyes. "I'm an ambush!" She jumped in front of the carriage. "Halt!"

Fionna gasped falsely. "What's going on?"

The Assassin/Cake frowned. "Oh. Did I come out too early?"

_"Shutup! Shutup!" _Fionna cleared her throat. "I mean, what are you here to do, stranger?"

"I'm an assassin! I am here for the Prince!"

Prince Gumball was frowning. "Girls-"

"Stand back!" Fionna told him. "I will stop her!" She lunged for the Assassin/Cake.

Cake molded her hand into a dagger and pounced for her.

Prince Gumball blew a piece of remaining piece of hair out of his eyes.

"You will not harm the Prince!" Fionna said.

"I will kill you!" The Assassin/Cake yelled. "And raise your children as my own!"

The Assassin/Cake and Fionna attempted to 'kick' each other, but flew by one another.

"Slo-mo fight!" Fionna called.

"Slow-punch!" The Assassin/Cake said, trying to slowly punch her, but ended up punching her at full-speed, sending Fionna crashing into the trees.

Fionna groaned. "Remember, it's just acting, Cupcake!"

"Sorry, Fifi." The Assassin/Cake whispered quickly and ran for the carriage.

She kicked Peppermint Maid away and landed on the sides of the pool. "Now to kill you up!"

She stopped and looked over Prince Gumball. "But wait. Surely, this can't be the handsome Prince Gumball."

Prince Gumball frowned.

"Where is his flush skin?" The Assassin/Cake pulled on his cheek, causing him to scowl.

"The quiffed, gooey hair?" The Assassin/Cake rubbed his head.

Prince Gumball punched her in the stomach, sending her flying away.

"Clearly, the Prince travels elsewhere." The Assassin/Cake stood up from the ground. "Later, Gumball!"

She ran back to the bush and hopped inside.

_"Go out there, girl!"_

_"I don't think I can do this!"_

Cake pushed the Duchess out of the bush. "Go! Go! Go!"

The Duchess approached the carriage. "And that is how I," She bowed, "The Duchess of Nuts, by disfiguring you beyond all recognition saved your life."

Cake ran from the bush, cheering. "Yeah! Alright!"

"Yeah!" Fionna cheered and ran over.

The Duchess and Cake high-fived.

Prince Gumball glared. "What was the point of this little act again?"

Fionna looked up. "!"

"Cake!" Prince Gumball demanded. "Why are you dressed like that?"

Cake gasped. "How did he know?"

"And why isn't the Duchess clapped in irons?"

"He's right." The Duchess sighed. "Innocent or not, I should accept what's coming to me."

"SLAP THE CUFFS ON HER, PEPPERMINT MAID!"

The Duchess held out her wrists as Peppermint Maid took out some large gold cuffs.

"I can't let this happen!" Fionna exclaimed.

"Nut'ns going my way today..." The Duchess said sadly.

Peppermint Maid attempted to cuff her. But she was too short, and had to jump.

Again.

And again.

"NOOOO!" Fionna ran between them. "The Duchess didn't throw the sphere! She's just covering-"

Cake popped up in front of her. "Yes, covering for the real girl who threw the bottle." She pointed at the Prince. "YOU! YOU THREW THAT SPHERE!"

Everyone: ):-o?

"Prince," Fionna sighed. "I have something stupid to confess. I'm the one who threw the sphere. I messed you up. I was gonna let the Duchess take the blame. But I knew if I told you, you'd hate me forever! And I can't have that! But I can't see the Duchess of Nuts punished in my place. Even if I can't be around you anymore. I'm sorry."

At first, the Prince looked at her with the most furious face ever.

Then he sort of winced. "Well...I could never stay mad at _you_ forever. And you seem genuinely contrite."

"I have no idea what that means, but thank you!"

"But that doesn't douse my hatred for the Duchess!" The Prince pointed at the Duchess.

"Yeah, what's up with all that hate?" Fionna asked. "The Duchess is a cool gal."

"NEVER." The Prince growled. "That girl always empties out my Fudge Chamber!"

"Aw, shell. Then she has a confession, too." Fionna walked over to the Duchess. "She can't control herself around fudge! She goes co-co-nuts for it! Because she has a fudge deficiency!"

"It's true, your highness." The Duchess sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh my!" Prince Gumball gasped. "You poor woman! Of course you're forgiven!"

He whispered to Fionna, "Yeah, I don't believe a word from her."

"I'm real sorry about this fiasco, Prince." Fionna sighed sheepishly. I wish there were some way to make it up to you."

Prince Gumball smiled and stroked his chin. "Maybe there is, Fionna. Maybe there-hey!"

He looked up at Fionna and Cake, who were walking away.

"What?" Fionna asked. "You said maybe."

* * *

><p>LE GRAND MEETING<p>

"Call to order of the Grand Meeting of Aaa Royalty." The Royal Bird announced, looking at her papers. I will now call on the delegate from the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumballs?"

Fionna stood next to Cake, the both of them wearing Prince-Gumball-like wigs. "It would be presumptuous, indeed, to present myself against the distinguished Prince to whom you have listened..."

Cake sighed as she went on and turned to mask-wearing king next to her. "Wanna drink?"

Suddenly, the mask fell away, revealing...

THE MARQUISE OF NUTS!

Fionna and Cake gasped. "The Marquise of Nuts!"

"Yes!" The Marquise stood. "But I didn't come alone!"

Suddenly, the Royal Bird exploded, revealing the Chipmunk. "Remember me, Cake?"

"Uhm...no."

And what happened next does not need to be written.

**TRIVIA**

The title card depicts the Duchess eating the Royal Fudge Supply.

Marshall Lee appears at the meeting, because he is the Vampire King.

**MAI BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP! :D**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW?  
><strong>


	22. Donna

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

Donna-is a grass orcess who appears in "Donna." She is self-centered and obnoxious. She is a light Kelly Green grass orcess and her body is covered in grass and leaves, with two dark green leves covering her chest and bottom and three-foot-long grassy hair. She has a large mouth, large, bulging eyes, and red cheeks.

Whycats-the antagonists appearing in "Donna." They are usually barbaric and brutal, but other times are sophisticated and civilized. When in their beatly forms, they wear weapons, tattered clothes, and have scruffy fur, but in their more civil form, they were differently colored business suits, shoes, and glasses. Womanish-Woman must be a different species of Why/Werecats, acting like a normal human being.

DONNA

_Title Card_

_The houses of the village bask in the dense Agitoxin fog, their windows lit and gleaming in the moonlight._

The six-feet high grass rustled. Fionna jumped out. "Safety...GUARD!"

"Safety...GUARD!"

Cake jumped out, wearing boots, a fireproof life vest, a blinking cone hat, holding a STOP sign and a fire extinguisher. "Safety Guard! Safety-Oh. Were we not wearing the uniforms?"

"..."

"...Heh heh..."

"Come on, let's keep looking for hazards." Fionna stepped forward and froze. "Look out!"

She laid down FLAT on the grass, her eyes narrowed.

Cake bent down next to her. "What is it, Fifi?"

Fionna pointed down to a small village below the hill. All of the houses were made of trees, like theirs. Cake furrowed her forhead.

"Looks like an ordinary little tree village."

Fionna took out her Safety Guard goggles. "Yeah, but there's always a darkside to these picturesque suburbs."

One of the tree houses' doors opened, revealing a small puppy.

"Oh. Little animal village. Maybe it's just regular ordinary. Not sinister ordinaryyyyy...No. Wait. These farmer animals look pretty riled up about something..."

She looked over to the left. Her eyes widened.

"Cupcake! Check it out! Grass orcess!"

She watched as the grass orcess grabbed a nerby chicken-"Hey chickin'!"-and stuffed it into a mailbox. "Looks like you're travelling EGG-SPRESS!"

"Cupcake, it is an ANNOYING grass orcess."

"You get my joke, right?" The grass orcess asked a...pig "I'm gonna call you 'Apple.'"

"Careful, you brute!"

The orcess frowned and looked down at the kangaroo farmer.

"Those chickens are rentals!" The Kangaroo shook a fist. Suddenly, something hit her face. "Ow!"

The orcess chortled as she grabbed another pig and threw it at the Kangaroo. "We're having SO much fun!"

"Alright now."

The orcess turned to the angry Animals and Police Panda.

"Drop that pig!" The Police Panda commanded. "You are under arrest!"

The pig hit the ground.

"Good." The Police Panda opened opened her clip-on bamboo cage door. "Now get into your tiny cell."

The orcess picked up the Police Panda as the other Animals ran away in fear. The Police Panda whimpered.

"OK...I'll let you off with a warning THIS TIME."

The orcess dropped her flat on her back. The Panda squirmed like a cockroach. The orcess laughed.

"HEY, ORCESS!"

The orcess turned around to an angry Fionna and Cake.

"Stop hazing these Animals!" shouted Fionna, shaking an agrily fist.

"Ya twitball!" Cake chimed in.

The orcess narrowed her eyes and stalked over to them. Fionna's eyes widened.

"Have a sense of humor!" The orcess scoffed. "And my name's Donna."

Fionna narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"MY NAME IS DONNA, STUPID!"

"Sorry. I was just trying to get your attention."

"What kind of Animals are you supposed to be? Stupid...animals?"

Cake rose an eyebrow. "I'm a cat."

"What's that on your muzzle?" Donna asked Cake, pointing to her furry muzzle.

Cake looked down at her muzzle. "What?"

Donna flicked her finger up, scratching Cake's nose. "OW!"

Donna laughed evilly. "I'm gonna mess with these Animals some more." She walked over to a nearby Magpie.

Fionna's anger popped. "NEVERRRR!" She hopped onto Donna's grassy back.

Donna panicked and stumbled away from the Magpie. She smiled at Fionna. "So, you wanna rustle, huh?"

"I'm defeating you, criminal!" Fionna tightened her grip around Donna's neck.

"You're in trouble now." said Donna. "I know this awesome move to get out of this lock INSTANTLY!"

She tried to remove Fionna from her, but Fionna tightened her grip, digging her nails into Donna's grassy skin. Donna began to choke. "You're doin it wrong!"

"No, YOU'RE doing it wrong!" grunted Fionna.

"What do you mean?"

"First, you roll your left shoulder forward."

"Like this?"

"Yes." Fionna smiled. "But then I counter it by doin this!"

She wrapped her arms and legs around Donna's neck. She pulled on it roughly. Soon, Donna bega to gasp and pant. Fionna stopped. "Do you need a break?"

"No...*gasp*...But if YOU need to...*pant*...We can stop."

Fionna hopped off of her and landed on her feet. Cake ran over to her. "I zoned out. Did ya win?"

"Naw. Just takin' a break." She looked up at Donna and smiled. "Donna's pretty good."

Donna sort of smirked/grimaced. "Yeah...*pant*...Well, you're pretty good, too."

"Thank you."

"FOR A TOTAL MORON!"

Fionna's shoulders slumped. "Aw..."

Cake turned angrily to Donna. "Diana! Stop this bizarre nonsense!" She squeezed her eyes shut. Her head molded into a hundred, furry spikes. "Unless you want to be taken down!"

"I was just kiddin around!" Donna backed away from them. "You guys took it too far! You girls are the real brute." She stalked off.

"Donna is one mixed-up gal." Cake said to Fionna, taking back her spikes into her head.

"Naw, she's just rought n' tumble." Fionna shrugged. "Like me. But deep down, she's probably really sensitive...Like me."

"Well, you're pretty mixed-up, too."

"HEY, DONNA!"

Donna turned around. "What?"

"I was thinking since you're a pretty good rustler, maybe you'd wanna hang out with a couple of rascals like me and Cupcake."

"I dunno." said Donna sheepishly, kicking the grass. "Messin' with these Animals is pretty fun. You got somethin' better?"

"Are ou sure this is a good idea?" Cake uneasily asked Fionna.

"YEAH! IF YOU COME TO THE TREEHOUSE, WE HAVE VIDEO GAMES AND GRAPE JUICE!"

"REALLY? I mean. Fine. If it keeps you from crying. Sheesh." Donna rolled her eyes.

"See, Donna's problem is that she's treated like an outsider." Fionna said. "Like me."

"You are NOT an outsider." Cake said skeptically. "You wear a cute little skirt."

"I am complicated."

"So, anyway, nerds." Donna said to the Animals. "I've gotta go hang out with my new friends. Don't touch my stuff while I'm gone."

She walked away from the Animals.

The Police Panda glared after her. "And don't come back. Or I'll punch your butt."

* * *

><p>"This Treehouse isn't so great." Donna said, taking in the scenery of the Treehouse as she stood in the living room. "Not as cool as the one I'M gonna build." She jumped back on the maroon sofa. "I call this sofa."<p>

"You should play Critter Clash, Donna!" Fionna beamed, walking inside with a tray full of grape juice glasses. She held the tray out to Donna. "You shoot all these zombie animals with weapons. Then they turn into tinier critters." Donna took a glass of the juice as Fionna set the tray down on the table. "Shoot those and they turn even smaller."

"Yeah, OK." Donna shrugged.

"And hey," Cake turned to Donna as she set up BMO on the table. "Can you put on some clothes?"

"YOU PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" Donna yelled angrily.

"I HAVE clothes on." Cake said matter-of factly, handing Donna the joystick. "Spun from butterfly silk." She pulled on the almost pink dress she was wearing. "By forest sprites."

The bloopy song of _Critter Clash _played as the title appeared on BMO's face.

A body-suited female appeared on the screen with a machine gun.

"OK, there's you." Fionna said.

Two grayish, oozing bears came from the left.

"Here come the Critters."

Donna clicked a button. A bullet shot at one of the bears, and it disappeared. She did the same thing to the other one. And the same thing to the other Critters Zombies incoming.

Donna laughed ecstatically.

Out of nowhere, a blood-red buzzard plucked her off the ground.

XGAME OVERX

"Oh yeah, those guys will get cha." Fionna frowned.

Donna growled and broke the joystick in her grassy palms. She threw the remains at BMO. "THIS GAME CHEATS!"

BMO fell off of the table from the impact.

Cake glared at Donna and walked over to the fallen BMO. "Not cool, girl."

"Here, Donna, have more juice." Fionna took the ice-cold glass and handed it to the grass orcess. "It always makes me feel better when-"

Donna threw the juice in Fionna's face. Fionna cried out as her face stained purple. She gave Donna and angry push. _"QUIT BEING A BRUTE!"_

"What'd I do?" Donna asked curiously.

"I don't think this is gonna work." Cake said, putting BMO on the table.

"I am incapable of emotion." BMO said stiffly. "And yet, you annoy even me."

"Come on, I was just jokin around!" Donna smiled. "Fionna thought it was funny."

"No, you don't get it, Donna." Fionna sighed.

"Everyone's getting mad at me for nothing!" Donna yelled.

"You have to think about how your actions make OTHER PEOPLE feel." Fionna told her.

"Mm-Hm..." Donna paused. "...I don't understand at all."

"Maybe she's one of those non-traditional learners." Cake smiled. "Oh! Teach her that little Affinity Song I taught you!"

"How's that go." Fionna paused, then smiled. "Oh yeah!

_Affinity!_

_Affinity!_

_Put yourself in the place of me!" _Fionna pointed at Donna. "You're turn!"

"Uh...

_Affinity..._

_Affinity..._

_Put yourself in the..._

Oooh!" Donna gasped. "So like...when I throw pigs around, I should let them throw ME around, too!"

"Um...kinda right..." Fionna frowned.

Suddenly, alarm bells wailed. Fionna, Donna, Cake, and BMO all jumped a mile high.

"Someone needs our help!" Fionna shouted. She began to walk for the door.

Donna grabbed her by the shirt. "DON'T GO! I'M POURING MY HEART OUT HERE! I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED A BRUTE! I don't want to BE a brute." Her eyes watered.

"I know, Donna." Fionna's voice dropped to a whisper. _"I know. _But I MUST attend to this!" She ripped her shirt away.

"Fine." Donna muttered. "Leave me. Everybody else does."

Fionna sighed and walked over to her. "Donna..." She took a deep breath. "Cupcake, you need to stay here and fix her. While I deal with an unknown, possibly deadly, emergency!"

She ran out of the Treehouse, into the chilly night.

"Fifi!" Cake called. "Trade me jobs!"

There was a booming crash in the distance.

"Cake! Someone broke your...um...entire living room."

Cake face-palmed.

* * *

><p>The Animals ran quickly away, screaming their heads off. They reached a dead end against one of the trees. They turned around, quaking as two lime greenyellow eyes glowered at them. The beast opened it's mouth in a loud roar, its razor-sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight.

"Quick! Act abandoned!" The Ground Mole screamed, throwing her arms up in the air. She and the Star-Nosed Mole quickly dug into the ground, disappearing into the dirt.

They also, however left behind the Baby Muskrat. She cowered against the tree.

The beast growled. "Five-point-one-three-three. Zero-six-zero-seven-times." She roared as she slinked up to the Baby Muskrat, who yelped out in fear.

Fionna popped out in front of the Baby Muskrat and hit the beast in the face.

The beast stumbled back as the Baby Muskrat ran away.

"Hands off the runts!" Fionna yelled.

The beast stood, and Fionna's eyes widened. There stood a Werecat, with maroon fur and lumonous lime green eyes with razor-sharp ears. She was only clothed in a pitch-black, bat-fur, patched black dress and two dirty bandages on both of her furry arms. Her tail had a steel morning star on the tip. Fionna had met a Werecat before, Womanish-Woman the Werecat, the former guardian of the Enchiridion. But Womanish was NOTHING like this Werecat.

The Werecat roared shrilly. Fionna jumped back as she swiped a razor claw at her and ducked as she swiped at her. She cried out in pain as her razor-sharp claw collided with her arm, ripping off her sleeve.

"Back!" She took off her backpack and held it out as a shield. "Pack!"

The Werecat swiped at the backpack, tearing three scratches through the fabric.

Fionna's eyes widened. "Werecats. Way worse that orcs."

The Werecat growled and pounced at her. Fionna ran out of the way.

The Police Panda held out a paw. "Stop in the name of the law!"

Fionna picked her up as the Werecat lunged at her.

"Is there somewhere I can trap this thing?" Fionna asked as she ran at full-speed from the Werecat.

"Well, we had a geyser, but it's clogged up now. 'Course, there's always Old Lady Chipmunk's Bottomless Burrow."

"I'm not that Old!" Old Lady Chipmunk scoffed as they ran near her Burrow.

"Perfect!" Fionna smirked.

Fionna jumped above the Burrow. The Werecat pounced beneath her, and Fionna brought her feet down on her back, sending her plummeting down the Burrow.

There was a thud.

Fionna furrowed her eyebrows and looked down the burrow. "Bottomless? This Burrow is twenty-feet deep, tops."

"We don't tell you how to do YOUR job." The Police Panda scoffed.

Suddenly, there was a scream as a pair of teeth clamped down on Mistress Turtle's shell.

"Save Mistress Turtle, Fionna!" Police Panda yelled. "Do your job!"

"_ANOTHER_ WERECAT?" Fionna exclaimed. "What's UP with this town?"

Mistress Turtle screamed as the Werecat's teeth tore through her shell. Her bare body fell to the ground, the remaints of her shell scattered around her. She ran away actually rather fast for a turtle. "WHY ME?"

Fionna gawked at the Werecat. It was TWO-HEADED, with four yellow eyes, ruby red fur, and stubby ears. It wore a patchy, dirty dress. Its tail was made of steel and she wore leather cuffs.

The Werecat picked up Mistress Turtle again. She screamed as the Werecat's second head shook her like a rag doll as the other tore at the empty shell.

Fionna grabbed a nearby Porcupine. She pointed the razor quills away from her. She charged at the Werecat. The Werecat spat out Mistress Turtle in shock and pain. Fionna pushed them all the way into the Burrow.

Fionna ran over to Mistress Turtle as Mister Edchidna helped her put her shell back together. "Mistress Turtle! Are you OK?"

"Fine, fine. A little trauma therapy should do the trick." Mister Edchidna led her away. "I've got to go piece my shell together."

"Why is this village getting worse and worse?" Fionna asked herself.

"Why indeed."

Fionna, annoyed, walked to the edge of the Burrow and looked inside, down at the Werecats. "What do YOU know?"

The apparent leader of the Werecats, Antonia, chortled. "For starters, that this village will be destroyed tonight."

"What do you Werecats got planned?" demanded Fionna.

"Oh, we're not 'Were'cats."

Antonia closed her eyes shut and began to quake. Her fur tore away, revealing a taupe gray jacket, white undershirt, charcoal tie, taupe gray pencil skirt, and black flats.

"We're..." She put on a pair of black glasses. "WHYcats. Creatures seized by the spirit...of audit...and blood yen."

Fionna gawked. "Whycats? WHAT?"

"Please save your inquests until the end of the discourse. Our ecosystem:" Antonia took her index claw and scratched some pictures of the Animals into the dirt of the Burrow. "At the bottom level are the Animal Tribe. Given the liberty, we Whycats would easily wipe them out."

Three Whycats ran up to the Animal Tribe, causing them to quake in fear.

"However..."

Donna dropped down in between the Animal Tribe and the Whycats.

"Donna's presence is a natural defense."

Donna chortled.

"Why? Her bruteness is so powerful, that it produces a piquant gas, called _Agitoxin."_

A sort of gas-cloud floated around the laughing Donna.

"This is a deadly poison to Whycats. Thusly, attack in impossible."

The Whycats ran away from the Animal Tribe in disgust.

"However, since you've removed the brute Donna."

Antonia swiped down her claw over Donna, making her disappear.

The Whycats rushed into the village and attacked the Animal Tribe.

Fionna's face fell in shock and fear.

"We will consume the Animal Tribe. And our population will rapidly swell."

Whycat after Whycat appeared in the village until there was really no more elbow room.

"Until..."

A beak slammed down on all of them.

"We are, in turn, consumed by the Cosmic Hawk."

The Cosmic Hawk flew away.

"And thus is the course of nature." Antonia shrugged. "But it'll be a pretty rad drive...Up until that point."

Her business suit tore away, leaving her back in her tattered dress. "Tonight, we feed on the blood and carnage of the innocents!"

"NO WAY!" cried Fionna. "Cake and I will stop you!"

"Sure, you can defeat one or two Whycats." Antonia said, her green eyes shining. "But we are sundry. And our sistren will never stop coming until everything and everyone in this village is destroyed."

Fionna gasped. "Oh no! I have to get Donna back!"

She ran away from the Burrow, back into the night.

* * *

><p>Fionna slammed through the Treehouse door. "DONNA, YOU HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW AND STOP THE WHYCATS FROM-"<p>

"OK, let's do a low, sad piece now, eh?" Donna said to Cake, her violin in hand.

"I want to see tears streamin' down your face." Challenged Cake, her dulcimer in her lap.

Donna caught sight of Fionna. "Ah, Mistress Fionna has returned!"

Fionna gawked. "What's it goin?"

"Thanks so you, I shall never be a brute again."

Fionna smiled in delight. "That's great, Donna! I need you had it in you!" Her face showed realization and horror. "_Dear Glob no. No. No. NO. _This ia all wrong! We need brute Donna! And the Agitoxin! And-and-!"

"Steady on, Fionna." Donna told her. "Perhaps you are dehydrated. It's as Cake taught me:

_8 ounces,_

_8 glasses,_

_8 days a week_. I'll fetch you some grape juice." Donna stood and headed for the kitchen.

Fionna stopped her, and gawked. Donna was wearing a green T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. "You're wearing CLOTHES now?"

"Surely.

_Gotta get clothes_

_Go get your clothes_

_Button,_

_Fly! _I wrote that one myself." Donna stepped past Fionna. "Pardon."

Fionna gawked. "B-b-b-ut..."

"You're right." Cake finished for her. "She looks good in jeans."

Fionna turned to Cake. "WHAT. DID. YOU. DO."

"Miraculous isn't it?" said Cake smugly, leaning back against the couch. "I just kept teachin' her my musical rules. And now, just like that, she's _perfeeeeeeeect._"

"NO! WE MESSED UP, CUPCAKE! If Donna doesn't go back to being town brute, the Animal Tribe is DOOMED!"

"Ahem."

Fionna and Cake turned around to see a stern-looking Donna, a glass of grape juice in hand.

"I WAS going to apologize for the juice being warm, not cold, instead, I will politely hand it to you. In silence." She handed Fionna the glass, turned away, and folded her arms. "I have no intention of being a brute again."

"But the Animals will be wiped out if you don't!" Fionna tried to reason, following Donna as she stormed away.

"It sounds awful. But I'm turning over a new leaf." Donna reached into her shirt, pulled out a leaf, and began to smooth it out. "This leaf. Ooh, wrinkle."

"Donna, you've got to go!" pleaded Fionna.

"Do we have to change her back?" Cake asked Fionna. "We were going to perform a Redgrass piece. _Blood moon of Aaa._"

"You think I don't want her to stay a cool gal? I do. But Cupcake," Fionna sighed, "LIVES ARE AT STAKE! C'MON!"

"Right, right. Donna, save the Tribe. Be a brute."

"Hey, speaking of songs," Donna reached into her pocket and pulled out a music sheet. "I've got a new one on how to brush your teeth."

Fionna groaned.

"What do we do, Fifi?" asked Cake.

"We taught her civilization. Now, she needs to feel the spiky, steel-covered mukluk of...RESPONSIBILITY."

"Right." Cake headed for the closet. "I'll go get it."

"I'm sorry, Donna." Fionna sighed.

As Donna continued singing her Toothbrush song, Cake returned with the spiky, steel-covered Mukluk of Responsibility. Fionna slipped it on and brought her leg back.

_CLANG!_

"OW!" Donna rubbed her injured back. "OK, so you didn't care for that one.

Fionna sniveled. _"FOR THE GOOD OF THE MANY!"_

Donna was kicked right out the door onto the bridge of the Treehouse. Fionna sniffed. "Forgive me, Donna. FORGIVE MEEEE!"

She covered her eyes with her hat and-

KLANG!

"Forgive me as well." Cake sighed. "And keep moving."

Donna whimpered. "Affinity. Affinity. OW! Put yourself in the OW place of me."

* * *

><p>The Animals ran, screaming, from the incoming Whycats. It was hard to tell, but there were twelve of them. The clamped their teeth down on their fur and tore at their feathers. Laughing roars filled the air.<p>

The Whycats and Animals stopped at the sound of...whimpering.

Fionna and Cake dragged Donna in by her feet into the Animal Village. Fionna panted and turned to the Whycats. "Y'ALL ARE IN TROUBLE NOW! DONNA, SAVIOR OF THE ANIMALS, ARE HERE TO KICK Y'ALL'S ENDS!"

They all sighed in despair. "Dash it all, we're beaten."

"Now, go be a brute to those Whycats!" Fionna said to Donna.

"No."

"WHAT?"

"HUZZAH! THE DAY IS SAVED!" A Whycat cried. They all returned to terrorizing the Animals.

"I'll use my musical messages to stop them." Donna said sternly, and stood. She dug in her pockets. "I have _Skincare Matters, Foldin' Clothin' Time, _oh! Here's a good one!"

"THE TRIBE IS GETTING CREAMED!" Fionna screamed to Cake, taking in the sight of the screaming, cyring Animals. "BY NOT BEING A BRUTE, _**YOU'RE BEING A REAL BRUTE, DONNA!**_"

_"Comb your hair right_

_It's a good time_

_Sticky, sticky_

_pomade_

_back and _

_Sides." _

"That doesn't even rhyme." A Whycat scoffed, and went back to attacking a Hedgehog.

"Why isn't anyone paying attention to me?" asked Donna. "To my words?"

"She sure is sensitive about her songs." Fionna gasped with realization. "IT'S BECAUSE THEY THINK YOUR SONGS ARE STUPID!"

"What?"

"What are you saying?" Cake said to Fionna. "If we don't encourage her talent, she might revert back to brute d-Oh...OHHH...Yeah, Donna! Everyone thinks your songs are WAAAAY stupid!"

"And they think you're a real brute!" Fionna added.

Donna's eyes filled with tears. "B-but I've changed. W-Why would they say that? Affinity. Affinity. Put yourself in the-"

The Whycats laughed and chortled rudely at her. Even the Animals scoffed at them.

"YOU'RE SO PATHETIC, IT'S COMICAL!" A Whycat sneered.

Donna's face screwed up. "Think I'm a brute, do they? I'm feeling..._**BRUTEY!"**_

Her clothes ripped away, leaving her back in her leafy garments. A thick cloud of Agitoxin exploded from her.

"YOU CATS ARE COOL. JUST KIDDING!" Donna said, grabbing a Whycat by the muzzle and pushing her back. More Agitoxin erupted.

"AGITOXIN CLOUD! ABORT! ABORT!" A Whycat cried. They all went screaming into the distance, leaving the Animals at peace.

The Animals cheered and clapped. They all ran over to Donna, hugging her and cheering her on. "Get off me, ya geeks!"

"You did it, Donna!" Fionna cheered. "You're a full-fledged brute again!"

"What? YOU'RE THE BRUTE!" Donna yelled, pushing the Animals away. "Hey, Animals, ready to hear my new song? IT'S ABOUT HOW FIONNA WILL BETRAY YOU JUST TO SAVE OTHERS."

Fionna grimaced. _"I'm sorry, Donna."_

"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, FIONNA!" Donna grabbed pig after nearby pig and threw them at all of the Animals.

Cake approached a crestfallen Fionna and put an arm around her. "C'mon. We can go stare wistfully at the lake."

"I'd like that. Very much."

Donna smiled and laughed. "I LOVE being a brute! Thanks Fio-Fionna?"

She looked up to see that Fionna and Cake were walking away, disappearing from view.

Donna glared. "Fionna, you loser..._I'll never forget you."_

TRIVIA

This is the first episode where BMO has a speaking role, revealing he too is a sentient being that can talk.

Fionna reveals feelings in this episode of being an "outsider", which could be initial signs of her loneliness of being the "only" human in Ooo.

When Cake says that she and Donna were going to play a Redgrass piece, "Blood Moon of Aaa", this is a reference to the Bluegrass piece, "Blue Moon of Kentucky."


	23. Rainy Day Daydream

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Fionna**—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister. It is shown that as a Lumpy Space girl, she is about 3 feet tall. The top of her has two long white lumps like her hat. The bottom of her is the same as her skirt. She has a small mass of yellow for her small piece of hair.

RAINY DAY DAYDREAM

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake sit in the boat above the Treehouse under the sun, oblivious to the incoming storm._

"Awwww YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" Fionna kicked right through the door onto the outdoor bridge. She landed on the wood on her back.

"Aww yeah!" Cake copied and landed on her. They both chuckled.

"Cupcake, get ready." Fionna smiled and picked herself up on her feet. "For a slap on the muzzle." She gave Cake a light slap on her white muzzle.

Cake snorted out a laugh.

"Seriously, though, get ready." Fionna walked to the middle of the bridge. "For...A DAY FILLED WITH ADVENTURE!"

"Whoa! Really?" Cake beamed.

"Yeah, girl!" She slapped Cake's muzzle again. Cake snorted again. "I wrote down on my arm this to-do list of cool junk to do."

Fionna looked down at the sloppy writing on her arm, twisting it this way and that. She was oblivious to the forming clouds behind her. "One: Somersault off this bridge and do the splits. Two: Hunt down and slay a troll horde. Three:" She turned around. "Storm clouds?"

Cake narrowed her eyes and blocked them from the sun with her paw. She looked closer at the rain drops...

...and saw they were metal...

Cake span around quickly. "FIFI! IT'S A MORNING STAR STORM!" Morning Star Storms were very rare, they occurred probably every ten years or so, but they were really dangerous. No one knows where they came from, but some think that the people of the Fungi War used them as weapons to slay the enemies.

Fionna slapped her muzzle again. Cake snorted.

"IT'S RAININ' MORNING STARS! C'MON!" Cake ran quickly back into the Treehouse.

"I've never seen a Morning Star Storm before." Fionna said in awe as morning stars began to rain around her, missing her body narrowly. "It's _gorgeous."_

Cake pulled her into the Treehouse right before a line of morning stars came at her.

"Looks like we're staying in today, kiddo." Cake said, setting Fionna down next to her on the couch.

Fionna sighed. "Alright. Well, what're we gonna do?"

As if in answer, a certain video-game-computer stepped in front of them. "Who wants to play video games?"

"Beema!" Fionna and Cake cheered.

"What's on the menu, Beema?" Cake asked excitedly.

"I have created a new game called _Conversation Bizarre._" Beema beamed, the title of the game flashing on its screen.

"START IT UP, BEEMA!" Fionna and Cake cheered. Beema stepped onto the wooden table and sat down.

_What do you think about the clouds and the sun?_

Fionna and Cake shrugged. "Okay." "They're cool."

_That is an interesting response!_

Beema fell to its knees. "Battery low!" It fell on its face. "Emergency shut down!"

Fionna booed.

Cake scoffed. "That was weak."

"What now?" Fionna asked.

"Let's just talk. Y'know, you and I hadn't just sat down and talked in a long time."

Fionna gave her a -_- face and pushed her away.

"I know something ELSE we can do!" Cake cheered excitedly.

"What?" Fionna said just as excitedly.

"We can use our imaginations! IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME, GIRL!"

"Puke that. Imagination's just for turbo geeks who can't handle how kick-butt reality is! **I'M **a kick-butt reality master!" She sat upside-down on the couch next to Cake. "Cupcake, I'd rather die than be imaginative like that. Seriously."

Cake shrugged. "Your loss."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Cake screamed suddenly and jumped up on the couch. "WATER! MONSTER-FILLED WATER ALL AROUND US!"

Cake screamed and jumped up onto the wooden roof, hanging on a branch. She panted and gasped, digging her nails into the wood.

Fionna rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Cupcake."

"FIONNA, DON'T! DON'T TOUCH THE FLOOR!"

Fionna rolled her eyes and sat up. She raised her foot over the floor.

"SERIOUSLY, FIFI! THERE MUST BE A CURSE ON THE HOUSE OR SOMETHING! THE FLOOR HAS TURNED INTO MONSTER-FILLED WATER!" Cake screamed desperately.

"I'm not playing you're childish games, girl." Fionna said seriously. "Watch and learn as I master..._**Reality..."**_

Fionna brought her foot slowly down to the floor.

Cake screamed. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Fionna felt a pair of jaws clamp down on her flesh. Fionna screamed and punched the invisible force in the 'eye.'

She sat, gasping and panting, looking at her bleeding leg. _**"CUPCAKE! WHAT THE HAY-HAY?"**_

"I don't know, girl. I was just playing around with my imagination." Cake said. She looked down at the murky water, scaly monsters, and huge crabs. _"And then everything got serious."_

"It's like...whatever you imagine becomes real." Fionna said, grabbing some nearby gauze and wrapping up her leg. "That's papayas!"

Cake paused, then shut her eyes tight. "Don't imagine your brain blowing apart. Don't imagine my eyeballs melting out of my skull."

Fionna jumped across the room to the opposite couch, picking Cake off of the roof. "Cupcake! Imagine Beemo has a better game! AND NEW BATTERIES!"

Fionna gasped as she felt the couch starting to move. She looked down and saw that the couch was sinking into the floor/water. "DANGIT, CUPCAKE! STOP IMAGINING WATER!"

"I can't my imagination's too amazing!"

Fionna grabbed Cake and threw her over to the window, quickly following. "Then imagine turning your imagination off!"

"I think I can imagine...a switch that turns off my imagination off." Cake said instead. "Upstairs, surrounded by goblins, trolls, monsters...and...and..." She giggled. "And boys...Really cute boys and kittens."

"Can't you make it easier? Put it downstairs?"

"Hey, I'm visionary! You can't hold this baby back! That's bad parenting, mama!"

"THEN IT'S TIME TO TAKE YOUR IMAGINATION DOWN TOWN! LET'S GO TO THE DEN AND SUIT UP!"

"AWESOME!"

Fionna crawled on the ceiling through the doorway to The Weapon Room. They both looked around. The shelves were still stacked with books, the same red divan was to the right. It still had its mahogany desk and chair against the far wall, its ink bottle and open book set. There was a book shelf above it, stocked with helmets and books and daggers. It had the same plaque of a '_Deadly Goliath Beetle', _its dog-sized shell still covered in a skull. People said people in the Fungi War used these to poison enemies.

"Grab that torpedo." Cake said, pointing to the large torpedo they had dug out from some Fungi War ruins.

"OK." Fionna hopped onto the shelf and grabbed the torpedo.

"And grab that Infinity Armor." Cake pointed over to a nearby armor suit made of gold and silver.

"Nah. There's a better suit over there." Fionna pointed across the room at a bejeweled, shining suit.

Fionna jumped across the room...

...only to smack right into something in midair.

"Cupcake?" Fionna pressed her hand against the force. It felt like concrete. "What is it?"

"I'm imagining a wall." Cake patted Fionna on the head. "You can just go around it."

"Really? That's it?" Fionna felt around the invisible glass until she felt the end. She scooted to the other side. "There isn't an invisible mad goblin or anything?"

In answer, there was a loud growl.

Cake sighed. "Well, there is one now. Look out, it's trying to bite you!"

There was the sound of chomping jaws. Fionna felt the goblin lung for her. Fionna jumped over the goblin. "I'll kill you, goblin!" The goblin snarled and chomped again. Fionna turned around and punched and kicked at the air in front of her, she knew all goblins were short, but her hands and feet never collided with anything.

"You're fighting too high!" Cake informed her. "She's taller than you!"

Fionna nodded and kicked and punched higher. She felt her hands and feet collid roughly with scaly skin and continued to fight. The goblin began to whimper in pain.

"You're gettin' her now!" cheered Cake.

Fionna attempted an over-cut at the goblin, put she felt more smoother skin than before in confusion.

"Now you're over-cutting her family." giggled Cake as Fionna did another over-cut.

Fionna span in a circle, swinging her foot around, socking something in the face. It wailed.

Cake giggled again. "You just socked her husband in the face." Cake's face went serious. "Uh-oh. Their children's coming back for vengeance."

"Cram this! We gotta book it to your imagination machine!" Fionna rolled her eyes. She looked around for an escape route, but only found the window. She set herself for a pounce.

"Fifi," Cake warned her, "Don't! The Morning Star Stor-!"

Fionna shot through the window's glass. She landed in something. She opened her eyes to see that she and Cake had fallen into the basket she had set up to the Attic. The Morning Stars continued to pour down harshly, but they whizzed past them.

"We'll take the shortcut to the Attic!" Fionna cried, and began to pull on the rope on the basket. The basket began to pull up through the air. Finally, they were in the safety of the Attic. It was dusty yet damp in there, Fionna couldn't remember the last time she had been in it. The same folk guitar was hung on the wall, the small door to the left side. There was the same cardboard box and picture of Lord Monochomicorn on the floor, on top of the knitted rug.

Fionna and Cake panted heavily. Fionna set the torpedo down beside her. Cake fell over on her side. She looked up and noticed a _Candy Kingdom Assorted Chocolates _box, the blue ribbon still attached, and two unopened _Wildberry Prince's Juice _boxes.

"Hey, Fifi, I found some candy." Cake opened the box. Most of the chocolates were gone, eaten, but there were still about four left. She picked out two chocolates, a caramel-swirled one and a cherry-topped one and popped them into her mouth. "Tastes like raspberry candy." She took the plastic off of the juice box, popped the straw in, and took a big swig of it. She grabbed the chocolates and stretched it over to Fionna. "Try some."

Fionna took the last two chocolates, the chocolate-coated strawberry one and the cream-coated one, and ate them quickly. She took the other juice box, drank it dry, and swallowed. "OK." She dropped the empty boxes and looked out of the little door, out to the bridge. "Try to imagine some kind of metal canopy over the bridge so we don't get morning starred."

"OK." Cake squeezed her eyes shut and paused. "It is done."

Fionna looked outside and saw that the morning stars had all stopped right above the bridge, blocked by the canopy. She took a cautious step onto the bridge to deem it safe. It was. "Awesome!"

_"Halt, travelers!"_

Fionna span around, torpedo still in hand, expecting to see some kind of witch-y woman. But there was no one in sight. But there was defiantly a female at the end of the bridge.

_"To cross this bridge you must first pass my enigma!"_

Fionna made a -_- face and turned to Cake. "Really? An Enigma Witch?"

Cake gave an embarrassed guffaw and blushed.

"Ask me your enigma, Enigma Witch!"

_"Brace yourself. For this riddle comes from a paranormal, disbelieving land."_

"Lay it on me!" challenged Fionna.

_"Yes, er...uhhh...ummm..."_

Cake looked up at Fionna. "I can't think of a enigma."

"Just make it super easy."

_"Tell me, traveler. What is simple, yet also difficult?"_

Fionna gawked. "What kinda enigma is THAT?"

_**"THAT IS THE WRONG ANSWER! THE PENALTY IS DEATH BY SCORPIONS!" **_

There was the sound of hissing scorpions.

"YEAH RIGHT!" Fionna cried. "I'VE GOT A TORPEDO!"

Fionna threw the torpedo across the bridge at the opposite side. There was a small explosion and the hissing grew very loud and the Enigma Witch screamed. Fionna felt the weird feeling of something(s) falling on her.

Cake must have felt it too, and shrieked. _**"YOU EXPLODED THE SCORPIONS RIGHT AT US!"**_

Fionna shrieked as she felt the scorpions begin to sting her. It stung like white-hot coals being thrown at her. Soon, large, red, swollen bumps dotted her skin. "I can feel them all over me! IMAGINARY POISON! **COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS!"**

Cake sobbed, red lumps peppering her fur. **"I'M SORRY, SISTER! **_**I'M SO SORRY!"**_

Fionna grabbed Cake's paw and ran to the gaping hole in the Treehouse's bark. "CUPCAKE! BE MY EYES! TELL ME WHAT I'M UP AGAINST!" She picked up Cake and set her on her shoulders as they entered the Treehouse.

Cake nodded and began. "There's a little rabbit family by the furnace. They're fine. There's a troll with grenade launchers for hands on the ceiling. An Anima Eater just got out of the mini fridge and...a bunch of tarantulas, super-spikes, and doo-doo is firing at us RIGHT NOW." Cake squeezed Fionna's face. "JUMP, FIFI!"

Fionna jumped over the doo-doo, super-spikes, and tarantulas, and they all crashed into the wall behind her, denting the bark.

"HERE COMES THE ANIMA EATER! BREAK IT'S SPINE!" Cake called.

There was a ghostly howl. Fionna felt the Anima Eater pounce for her and jumped up, sending the Anima Eater under her. She brought her feet down on her spine, causing it to crack loudly. Fionna heard a strange revving sound.

Cake deadpanned. "Fifi. The Grenade Launcher Troll has you in her sights."

"HEY!" Fionna yelled. "DON'T FIRE AT US WITH THAT GRENADE LAUNCHER!"

The troll giggled evilly. _"Teeheeheehee..."_

"_DON'T YOU DO IT!"_

_"Teeheeteeheehee..."_

_**"DON'T DO IT, GIRL!"**_

_"Eh...Ok."_

"Awesome." Cake and Fionna high-fived.

"Hey, try to imagine something." Fionna set Cake down on the floor. "This poison is about to kill me."

"Alright." Cake crawled under Fionna's legs, lifting her off of the ground. "Goin' up."

They reached their Bedroom immediately. "The imagination switch is right of the bed." Cake said.

"Is it clear?" Fionna asked.

"Yeah, I mean there's a bunch of cute boys, but they shouldn't bother you."

"Roger that!" Fionna hopped off of Cake's back. She immediately heard the voices of the boys, talking and laughing. They must have been boy CATS, because she occasionally brushed against something furry. She went to the right of the bed, feeling around for the switch. Finally, her hands rested on cool metal. "I found the switch!"

"Way to go!" cheered Cake, who was currently sitting between a black Bengal and a gray Burmese cat.

The Burmese chuckled.

Cake turned to him. "Dang, boy. If you weren't my imagination, I'd have yo baby."

The Bengal laughed gave a humored scoff.

_"What chu laughin at?"_

"I'm gonna turn it off!" Fionna called.

Suddenly, something punched her away roughly. "OW! YOU SAID IT WAS CLEAR!"

"I can't see anything!" Cake gasped. "I must have imagines an invisible monster!"

"How do I kill it?"

The invisible monster brought its scaly fist down on her back. Then it smacked her three feet away.

"I'ma coming, Fifi!" Cake called as the male cats began to run away.

Just as the monster socked Fionna in the gun, Cake popped up between them. "OK, INVISIBO! EAT A PIECE O' THIS!" She brought her furry fist to its fuzzy face. "HURRY, FIFI! GET TO THE LEVER!"

"OK!" Fionna ran over to the right side of the bed as Cake wrapped her body tightly around the monster. Cake felt the monster hit her pressure point roughly.

Fionna gasped. "Cupcake!"

"Do it, Fifi!" Cake called, wrapping herself more around the monster.

"I'M DOIN IIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Fionna grabbed hold of the lever.

And pulled it down.

Cake let out a war-cry. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW-" She froze dead and fell to the floor, limp.

Fionna looked down. Her injured leg, lump-covered skin, and scratched arm were completely healed. "Aw yeah! The imaginary poison is gone!" She turned around. "Cupcake?"

Cake was now back to her normal size, limp on the floor. She was unmoving.

"Cupcake." Fionna ran to her side. "Are you OK?"

Cake groaned.

Fionna patted her ear. "Hey, come on, wake up."

Cake sat up, her face blank. "Yes. Hello, Fionna. I am awake and healthy." Her voice was robotic and blank.

"Cupcake. What's happened to your explosive personality?"

"I have no idea what you mean." Cake said, standing. "I am perfectly explosive."

"No, girl. Something's wrong." Fionna said skeptically. "Tell me something amazing."

"But Fionna. I cannot _tell _you something amazing. For there is nothing amazing happening around us for me to describe for you."

"See! You stink now! Oh, clam, it's your imagination. You need that thing!" Fionna groaned.

Cake reached over and grabbed her dulcimer. She played the G string. Again. And again.

"Cupcake, stop. You're just playing one continuous note."

"One note is all that is needed."

Fionna sighed. "I don't care if the house explodes. I'm turning your imagination back on."

She walked back to the right side of the bed. She felt around for the switch, but it was gone. "Cupcake, your imagination switch is gone."

"Yes. Doth thou not remember shutting down mine imagination?"

"I remembereth." Fionna sighed.

"I am pleased my imagination is gone." Cake said blandly. "It was for fools. It was purposeless."

"No! No, it was the opposite of that stuff!" Fionna sighed sadly and looked down at her Mary Janes. "I realized it too late, though."

Cake paused, then nodded. "Indeed. Well, if my imagination is so explosive, why don't you imagine an imagination-on switch for me?"

Fionna rose an eyebrow. "What? No! Imagination is what you need! I don't do any of that junk-a-grub!"

"Fionna, you sound irrational. Perhaps you should reconsider your statement."

_Nuts. _Fionna thought. _Cupcake's right. She's always so right. Makes me feel...embarrassed._

Fionna turned angrily on Cake. "CUPCAKE! YOU MAKE ME FEEL EMBARRASSED A LOT!"

Cake narrowed her eyes. "I do not deserve being talked to like this."

Fionna sighed. "You're right. Again. OK, I'm going to try to imagine another imagination switch for you again. But do you know if there's anything fruity in my imagination? Because if there is, I'm gonna be cheesed."

Cake suddenly growled and pounced on Fionna's back. "But I do not want my imagination back on!"

"Get off, Cupcake!" Fionna yelled as she fell to the floor.

"Swear to me you will not accept this mission!"

"No!" Fionna chucked her off of her back. Cake fell on the floor, glaring. "You're boring and weird now! I'm turning your imagination back on!"

Cake stared at her blankly and stood. "Very well, Fionna. You leave me no choice. _**I will cut out your brain and destroy it by stomping it apart and eating it."**_

Fionna quickly shut her eyes and concentrated. "Imagination...GOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She felt herself fade from the room.

* * *

><p><em>Fionna looked around. Nothing was in sight. It was all just so...WHITE AND BLANK. "What the flub?"<em>

_She put her hands on her hips and looked around. "Well, this isn't so bad. Nothing lame at least." She turned around. "Hey! Cupcake's imagination switch! Awesome!"_

_Out of NOWHERE, a brunette girl with green skin, brown hair, and a longish blue dress stepped out, playing a tune on a harp. _

_"I am your imagination girl. _

_Welcome to your imagination world!"_

_Fionna rolled her eyes as the girl went on singing about imagination. "Maybe I can try imagining something." She concentrated._

_The harp-girl went dancing around, strumming the harp, singing "Imagination world, world, world." She did a spin. Fionna imagined a baby seal behind her feet and a plate of pasta further away. The harp girl tripped over the baby seal and fell, her face splattering into the pasta. _

_"Awesome." smirked Fionna. "Now for that switch."_

_"Greetings!"_

_Again, out of nowhere, something landed on her shoulder. Fionna looked down to see a sort of pink-blue-purple butterfly wearing a sunhat. "My name is Bella Butterflee. Would you care for a napkin my son made? He engraved it with his tears. You see, he just broke up with a lovely miss-"_

_"NO!" Fionna yelled. "How'd you get in my imagination?"_

_"I'm not sure. You tell me. Maybe I represent your secret desire to be civilized."_

_Fionna rose a fist. "REPRESENT THIS!" She flicked Butterflee off. "And this!" She concentrated._

_Butterflee groaned. "What's this I feel?" Suddenly, her wings turned to metal, slapping her over and over. "Oh! Ow!"_

_Fionna concentrated again. A small horde of tiny seals wadded up to Butterflee and dragged her off. "Seals. Teehee."_

_Fionna ran over the imagination switch. She pulled down the lever._

* * *

><p>Cake felt her brain fill with some kind of power. "Ooh!"<p>

* * *

><p><em>Suddenly, a small wood sprite hopped onto the imagination switch. <em>

_"Hey!" called Fionna. "Get away from that!"_

_The wood sprite hopped over to the buttons on the machine and with his elbow, hit __**HYPERDRIVE.**_

* * *

><p>Cake's brain swelled rapidly. She screamed. "I CAN IMAGINE EVERYTHING!"<p>

* * *

><p><em>Fionna grabbed the sprite and tossed him away. "Take a hike!"<em>

_She hit the __**NORMAL STYLE **__button on the imagination switch._

* * *

><p>Cake groaned and fell limp on the floor. "Oh Glob. I imagined my Dad. Naked. EW..."<p>

Fionna faded back into the room. She looked down at Cake. "Cupcake! Are you OK?"

"I think so. Let me check." Cake squeezed her eyes shut. "Hmmm...Yep. He's clothed now. And hey!" She ran over to the window. Morning Stars covered the ground, already melting into the ground. "The Morning Star Storm's gone! Let's go on an adventure!"

"I dunno, Cupcake. I think we've got an adventure right here. With..." She closed her eyes. "MONSTER-FILLED WATER ON THE FLOOR!"

Cake screamed as she sunk into the floor. She quickly laughed and picked herself up. "I'm fine."

Fionna rubbed behind her ear. "Good cat."

TRIVIA

While Fionna and Cake are in one part of their Treehouse (after sitting in a bucket using a pulley system), the initials AT are carved into a heart on a wooden beam, possibly referring to the show which they are on.

The knitted rug that is in the Attic says _Mom is the Bomb!, _which most likely means that Fionna and Cake's mother knitted it for them but they forgot it.

Cake stated that in the bedroom, there would only be "cute boys and puppies", but when they got to the bedroom, she said "It's just a bunch of cute boys but they shouldn't bother you", completely forgetting about the puppies.

CONTINUITY ERRORS

At the beginning of the episode, Fionna has the to-do list on her arm, but after they enter the Treehouse, the list is gone.

**I'll start saying a lot more about the Fungi War from now on. R&R!**


	24. What Have You Done?

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

_Title Card_

_Prince Gumball flips the table over angrily, spilling over its contents._

Fionna and Cake popped up behind the ice boulder. The seal-guards were still flopping around, their ice spears in flipper. As the flopped by, Fionna and Cake slid past them on their stomachs and tumbled like a tire together to the beginning of the icy trail to the Ice Castle.

"Our mission to capture the Ice Queen is almost complete." smiled Fionna as they began to walk up the trail. "...But I probably shouldn't say stuff like that out loud."

Meanwhile, the Ice Queen was sitting on her zebra-print bed, a glass of lemonade on the floor beside her. She was making a puzzle in the sharp of a star, but was obviously having trouble. "Oh, come on..."

DING DONG!

Ice Queen smirked and slinked to the doorway, her fists glowing with icy power. "Who is iiiiiiiit?" She sprang out, shooting lasers like crazy. "ZAPZAPZAPZAP!" She looked down to see a small box. "Ooh. Someone left me a gift." She picked it up and read the label. "Donuts? But I'm on a diet! ...Oh, who cares." She opened the lid-

Cake popped out, zooming past her onto the icy ground. "SHOULD'VE STUCK TO YOUR DIET!"

"FIONNA AND CAKE! YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY BOX OF FAKE DONUTS!" Ice Queen concentrated her powers on them, but nothing happened. She looked down to see that Cake had grabbed her tiara when she popped out of the box. "Oh no. My tiara has all my powers in it!"

Fionna ripped out a long piece of gauze and pounced on the Ice Queen. "WRAP ATTACK!"

Soon, the Ice Queen was wrapped in gauze from the shoulders down to her stomach, a bandana around her mouth.

Cake picked her up and cooed, "How about I wrap you up like a sweet little infant?"

She wrapped more gauze around Ice Queen until there was gauze from her shoulders to her feet and more around her head, like a child. Ice Queen growled.

"We've finally captured the Ice Queen!" Fionna cheered.

Cake rose one of her furry eyebrows. "Why did we do this again?"

"Prince Gumball explained all of it when he sent us on this assignment. Remember?"

* * *

><p><em>"Go capture the Ice Queen and bring her to me." <em>Prince Gumball said over the hologram, as Fionna and Cake watched.

* * *

><p>"Hmm...That really didn't explain anything." Cake said in confusion.<p>

"I'm sure he's got a good reason." Fionna shrugged.

* * *

><p>The Candy Kingdom was much different than what Fionna and Cake were used to. All the happy colors from red to green to blue had all gone a sickly green-grey. Thunderclouds boomed overhead, replacing the clouds and blue sky. The two guardians who sat on the castle were no longer blowing bubbles from their wands. Dense fog was everywhere. The doors and windows of the houses and buildings were blocked by wood and tape. It loooked like a horror movie. No one was in sight.<p>

"Where is everyone?" Fionna asked in creepy confusion as they entered the kingdom's village, her legs slicing through the clouds.

"Yeah, this place is completely abandoned." agreed Cake. She looked ahead and paused. "Except for that guy."

Fionna looked ahead.

A man in a fumigation suit was approaching them. His mask was made in a beak-like shape and he wore goggles over his eyes. A black hat was on his head. He was wearing a pitch-black robe, rubber black gloves, heavy black boots, and a sort of small black cape. He was carrying around a sort of tank with a nozzle, spraying out more of the green fog.

He approached Fionna. _"You should not be here, Fionna..."_

Fionna and Cake shrieked in fear.

"Guys." The man took of his mask and hat, revealing the face of Prince Gumball. "It's just me. Did you bring her?"

"Of course." Fionna said. Cake reached behind her back and took out the wrapped-up Ice Queen.

Prince Gumball smirked, almost evilly.

"So..." Fionna started. "What did the Ice Queen do-"

"GRHIGRHU!" Prince Gumball cut her off. "We don't have time! Quickly! Follow me!"

They all ran all the way to the Castle. They approached the stone wall. Fionna and Cake stopped as Prince Gumball approached it.

_"Ecafllaw." _

A face appeared on the wall, with small white eyes, small cheeks, and a small mouth.

"Greetings!" Rocky, the face, said. "What is the pass-"

Prince Gumball jammed his fingers into her eyes. "AAAAAHHHHH! YOU GOT ME!"

Rocky opened her tiny mouth to the size of a bus, revealing a dark staircase going downward.

Fionna and Cake glowed. "Secret door!"

"This stairway leads to the dungeon." Prince Gumball said. "Where we'll dump that no-good Ice Queen!"

Fionna looked taken aback. "What did the Ice Queen do to get tossed in there?"

"She didn't do anything." Prince Gumball said. "Not. A. Thing."

"Huh?"

"It's a very long and sad tale, Fionna. You see-"

"_Prince Gumball, you are needed at once at the Grand Hall." _A voice said from above.

"NOOO!" Prince Gumball boomed, locating a nearby trash can and kicking it to the ground angrily. _"I NEED MORE TIME!"_

Mandy, who was hanging from a nearby tree, jumped. "Gee, sorry."

"Ok, I need to go." said Prince Gumball, collecting himself. "You two just guard the Ice Queen until I return. _And prepare to make her SHRIEK WITH PAIN."_

"OK." Cake shrugged.

"Have fun, Prince." Fionna said, and she and Cake descended down the stairway.

* * *

><p>"This is a total rook!" Ice Queen complained as they basked in the dungeon. It was literally UNDER the castle. There ceiling was made from the Tree's roots. The walls and floor were made entirely out of dirt, large and small bones sticking out everywhere. There was a single barred door from which they came in. An oxygen tank was locked onto the left wall. Skinny paths of wood were along the walls, bumpy and long.<p>

"Slow down, prisoner!" Cake commanded, leaning against the wooden table. "We've got to record your belongings."

Cake reached into a small cardboard box and pulled out the Ice Queen's magical tiara. "One magical tiara." Cake leaned back to whisper to Fionna. _"Probably stolen."_

"I didn't steal it!" Ice Queen cried. "I BUILT that item! I BUILT IT WITH THE MAGIC THAT I STOLE!" Ice Queen reached for it, but Cake pulled it away. "Now hand it over or I'll...strike menacing poses at you!"

Suddenly, she was blasted away into the wall by a jet of water. She shrieked.

"CAN IT, INMATE!" Fionna yelled, still holding and pumping the hose of water.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen gripped the bars of her cell, her eyes lined with bags and her hair shaggy. "These bars CAN'T HOLD ME FOREVER! I mean, come on, there's only like three of em. You fools have no business guarding prisoners."<p>

"What about these guarding helmets we found?" Fionna asked, attempting to pull the helmet over her head, but barely even got it past her hairline. "AND WE HAVE THE CORNICUAL OF SHAME!"

Ice Queen looked up at the Cornicual, which was staring down on her, its eye narrowed.

"And we have the Stool of Regret!" Fionna gestured over to a busted old stool, which the Ice Queen's tiara was sitting on, sobbing.

_"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."_

"How about you just hand me my tiara so I can make ice bars for my cell?" Ice Queen asked.

"OK!" Cake grabbed the tiara and started to run over.

Fionna grabbed her by the fur on her neck. "No, Cupcake! It's a trick!"

Ice Queen chortled. "I'm fooling with you._ Intellectually. _Hahahahahaha!"

Cake squeezed Fionna's arm in fear.

* * *

><p>"Finished!" said Fionna, closing the gate to the Ice Queen's newly-barred cell.<p>

"So..." Ice Queen said. "What am I being charged for?"

"Um..."

"A million counts of brutality!" Cake announced, standing on the table.

"Yeah." shrugged Fionna. "What does it matter, anyway?"

"OF COURSE IT MATTERS!" Ice Queen screamed, flailing her arms. "This is how it works: I disobey your stupid rules, then you mercilessly persecute me!"

"That makes sense." nodded Fionna. "You do terrible things and I punish you."

"IDIOT!" The Ice Queen pointed her sharp finger in Fionna's face. "YOU HAVE DISCHARGED THAT RULE! For...drum-roll, please...I HAVE COMMITTED NO RECENT CRIMES!"

_"Really?"_

The Ice Queen cackled crazily. "I'M JAMMING YOUR WORLD-SIGHT!"

"Cupcake!" Fionna frantically ran over to the coffe-and-white cat. "She IS starting to convince me we're doing the wrong thing!"

"Fifi."

Cake put her paws on Fionna's shoulder and smacked her with her furry tail.

"Be calmed by my tail. And think of all the horrible things Ice Queen's done!"

"Yeah!" Fionna stalked over to the Ice Queen triumphantly. "You're still a brute that deserves to be in jail!"

"Oh yeah? You know who really deserves to be in jail? I'll show you the REAL brutes!"

Ice Queen stalked over behind her steel bed and pulled out a square object covered by a purple blanket.

"Behold!"

She whipped off the blanket, revealing a mirror, but also blowing out the candle in the cell.

"Uh..." Fionna and Cake squinted their eyes. "It's too dark."

"BEHOLD!"

The Ice Queen brought it forward and slammed it down on the dirt floor...

...But shattered the lower half into pieces.

_"BEHOLD!"_

She held up the upper half...

But it fell apart in her hands...

Fionna and Cake: _O_o?_

Ice Queen dug around in the mirror shards and held up the biggest piece. "Behold the true brutes!"

"The brutes is US?" said Fionna in disbelief.

"Cupcake." Fionna pulled the cat over for a private discussion. "Am I crazy or is the Ice Queen RIGHT about this? But if she's in the right...then that means that we're in-!"

"-The Candy Kingdom!"

"No. We're in much, much worse."

"On your feet." Fionna said, opening the creaky door to the Ice Queen's cell.

Ice Queen slumped over to the opening. "Is it time for my execution, boss?"

"No. We're letting you go. It's wrong to imprison you for nothing."

Ice Queen narrowed her milky white eyes. "This is...a trick, isn't it?"

_"GET OUT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"_

"There must be someone waiting outside." Ice Queen muttered, stepping out of her cell. "To ambush me! Oh. Is that my tiara over there?"

"Glad that's all taken care of." sighed Cake.

"No. Not quite yet." muttered Fionna.

She pulled Cake over into the cell and slammed the door shut.

Cake groaned in annoyance. "Dang it."

"Sorry. But since WE'RE the bad guys this time, WE'VE got to go to jail."

"This stinks."

"Hey!" Ice Queen stormed over to them, her tiara on her white head. "Get out of my room!"

"You're still-? _JUST GET OUT OF HERE!"_

"So...You're really breaking me out?"

"Like I said: It's wrong to imprison you!"

"You mean...You believe me?" Tears of joy ran down the Ice Queen's face. "Can it be? Has all the hatred between us somehow blossomed into something more? A friendship! A BEST friendship! Fivsies!" She held out a hand for a high-fived.

Fionna slapped it away.

"Ooh! Slaps in abomination, eh? Well call them Slappy-Abs! See you later, my biceps!"

Fionna narrowed her eyes. _"I am no woman's bicep."_

Ice Queen pointed her hands in the direction of the wall. "Detect secret door!"

A hidden tunnel appeared in the wall, the light of the outdoors on the other end. "Yes!" She ran down the tunnel, cackling.

One of the stones on the floor lifted up from the ground, and Prince Gumball crawled out. "Apologies for the delay."

"Sheesh." said Cake. "There are a lot of secret doors around here."

"And now Ice Queen." said Prince Gumball, fastening some iron armor on his hands. "Are you prepared to shriek with-" He turned around. "...Pain?"

"Wow." said a sheepish Fionna. "He's so happy we did the right thing, he almost looks...infuriated."

Prince Gumball ripped off the iron armor, narrowed his eyes angrily, and stalked over to them. "Where. Is. The. Ice. Queen?"

The Ice Queen's whoops and cries of happiness could be heard all over the Candy Kingdom.

Prince Gumball stormed over to the wooden table and flipped it over his head in pure anger. "WHAT HAVE YOU _**DONE?!" **_He turned to the human girl and the cat, his teeth bared like a wild animal.

Fionna cowered from him. "What _have _we done?"

Prince Gumball opened the cell and picked up Fionna by her rabbit ears. _"I'll show you."_

* * *

><p>When they entered the Grand Hall, there was a gigantic tarp stretching from the ceiling to the floor. Prince Gumball stormed over to it and ripped it out of the way.<p>

Fionna screamed.

The Grand Hall had been made into a makeshift triage center. Hospital bed after hospital bed were lined up, one after another. Candy People were in every one of them. All of their bodies were covered in sheets of ice and snow. Their skins were pale and their eyes were sunken. They looked like more zombies.

"A plague." Prince Gumball sighed. "Of Ice-Blaze Pox."

"Ice Queen did this?" exclaimed Fionna, running over to a icy Starchy and tapping on a block of ice on her eye.

"Well..." said Prince Gumball. "Yes and no..."

* * *

><p><strong>It happened three days ago.<strong>

_"Hey, Prince!" Ice Queen said, flying over the Candy Kingdom's village. "Check out my new trick! It's snowing for you!" She shook her hair, and flakes of white dandruff started to pour down through the air._

**I don't think she was TRYING to spread disease.**

_The Candy Kingdom played around in the dandruff, thinking it was snow. They ate it through the air, they had snowball fights, and they made snowmen. But soon, everyone felt very icy cold and were going pale._

**Through my research, I learned that the only way to cure my people was if I caught the Ice Queen's shrieks of pain.**

_Prince Gumball looked at the page of the book. It held a picture of dandruff raining from the Ice Queen's hair and the Candy People covered in sickly ice. The next page depicted a bawling Ice Queen and cheerful, healthy Candy People._

**But when I pleaded with her directly...**

_"Please," said Prince Gumball to the Ice Queen, standing on Lord Monochromicorn while holding a microphone in his hand. "I beseech your help. In the good name of common decency!"_

_"So let me get this straight," said Ice Queen, "...You're asking me out?"_

_"NO!"_

_Lord Monochromicorn neighed in disgust._

_"I think I heard 'diner' in that." Ice Queen smirked. "Oh, he is defiantly asking me out."_

_**"NO!"**_

_Ice Queen's hands glowed. "BE GONE!"_

**She had her chance to help, but she did NOTHING.**

_Lord Monochromicorn and Prince Gumball flew away in disgust._

_Ice Queen giggled. "He came to ME this time!"_

* * *

><p>"I had no choice but to try and take her shrieks by force..." said Prince Gumball sadly, sitting down on one of the empty beds.<p>

Cake put on a confused smirk. "By getting us to pound the sugar out of her?"

Fionna frowned deeply. "I can't just pound her up for nothing. That's against my heroic vow."

"I know..." sniffed Prince Gumball, burying his face in his hands. "I know..."

"But I'll get her to give up those shrieks." swore Fionna, getting down on her knees. "Voluntarily. I swear it."

"Oh, thank you Fionna..." sighed Prince Gumball. "I just..." He started to hyperventilate.

Fionna shushed him.

* * *

><p>"How are we gonna get those shrieks, Fifi?" asked Cake as they quickly ran up the lane to the Ice Castle.<p>

"I have an idea to fool her." said Fionna. "But you won't like it."

"That sounds suggestive...I don't like it!"

"Ice Queen!" Fionna ran through the entrance to the castle. "Come forth!"

"Is that the voice of friendship I hear?"

Ice Queen stepped into the room, a slender cardboard box in hand. "So. Are you gals ready for Game-Night?"

"Game-Night?" inquired Fionna. "Well...that's really weird..."

Ice Queen turned to her. "Why?"

"Well...you know how best friends act around each other, right? You've had friends before."

"...Uh...yeah...?"

"Yeah. So you know how friends shriek in pain for each other, right?"

"Yeah, totally! Everyone knows that. Shrieking. In pain. For friends..."

Fionna took out the microphone and small but super-loud stereo. "Will you shriek for me, gal?"

"Of course."

Fionna brought the microphone to the Ice Queen's face.

"AAAAAAhahahahahaha...Sorry." Ice Queen pushed the microphone away. "I've got the giggles. I couldn't possibly shriek without laughing uncontrollably. Teeheeteeheeteehee"

Fionna grabbed the bridge of her nose in annoycane.

Cake, the size of a softball, hopped on her shoulder. "We're out of options. Let's just pound it out of her."

"No, Cupcake. We-"

"Wait. There's a bug on you." Ice Queen said.

She slapped Cake off of Fionna's shoulder, knocking Fionna down.

"Ugh. Wait!" Fionna beamed. "This is my chance!"

"Y'know," said Ice Queen, taking out small items from the box. "I made these pieces from my own toenails."

_"Boo hoo. Sob. Cry. Bawl."_

"Huh?" Ice Queen dropped the box in shock. "Sobbing?"

"Boo hoo." repeated Fionna, still fallen on the ground. "You slapped me, Ice Queen. I do not think I can live anymore, knowing my best bicep has harmed me."

"I was saving you from icky buggy bites!"

"I am dying. Because I know you care not for me." Fionna fell 'limp' on the floor.

Tears welled in the Ice Queen's eyes. "No. M-My bicep! W-What have I done?" She fell down next to Fionna's body, lifting her up. "My best friend. My only friend."

Cake walked up to them. "What about me-?"

_"Why?"_ Ice Queen shrieked. _"Why? __**WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!**__"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY<strong>_

The snow and ice melted away from the Candy People's bodies. Their body temperatures rose immensly, and their color came back to their skins/creams/sugars. Soon, the floor of the Grand Hall was covered in icy water.

"Starchy's feeling healthy again." Starchy's muscles expanded and bloated. "A bit too healthy, if you ask me."

"Everyone's healed! Fionna and Cake did it!" exclaimed Prince Gumball excitedly. "أنا سعيد حتى أتمكن من، ويمكنني أن" He fainted.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen dropped Fionna's body. "Oh well." She walked away. "Gunta, dump Fionna's carcass in the lake."<p>

Fionna stood up and groaned sadly.

"Great job!" cheered Cake. "Those shrieks must have reached all the way to-"

"Did you see how fast she dumped my lifeless body?" said Fionna sadly. "That's just cold."

"Fifi, if I ever came across your carcass, I'd hold you dramatically and shriek in pain forever."

"Thanks, Cupcake."

"Hey, why wait? Play dead."

Fionna smiled and fell limp in Cake's furry arms.

_**"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"**_

TRIVIA

The title card is based on a scene in the episode. After Fionna frees the Ice Queen, the Prince screams "What have you done!?" and flips over a table.

This is the second episode a disease ravaged the Candy Kingdom.

When PB is researching the cure involving the pained howls of the Ice King, the number 4815162342 appears on one of the book's pages. These are 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42, the 'unlucky numbers.'

The password that Prince Gumball uses to gain entrance to the dungeon is "Ecafllaw." Reversed, it's, "Wallface."

Prince Gumball said in Arabic: "أنا سعيد حتى أتمكن من، ويمكنني أن" Translated into English: "I'm So Happy, I could, I could...". and passes out before he could finish.

CULTURAL REFERENCES

The fumigation suit the Prince is wearing is modeled after a plague doctor costume, which was worn by doctors during the Black Plague as they thought the plague could be scared away by the mask.

The box that contains the Ice King's board game reads, "Metropoli". This is a play off of the game "Monopoly".

STORYLINE

This is the first time Lord Monochromicorn and Prince Gumball actually appear together other than in the show's opening sequence.

Prince Gumball's medicine book depicts Ice Queen's shrieks of pain directed to possible candy people, implying that Ice-Blaze pox has happened before.


	25. Her Hero

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Lilly**-the most powerful heroine in the land of Aaa, and Fionna and Cake's idol. She is mostly known for possessing the Armour of the Heroin Lilly. Lilly is very tall with long, knee-length white hair. She has five fingers, unlike the other characters of Aaa. She has a scratch-like scar on her right shoulder. During her younger days, she always wore her Armour, which included a bejeweled cuirass, silver besagues, bronze rerebraces, gold couters, copper vambraces, bronze gauntlets, silver fauld, gold tassets, copper cuisses, silver poleyns, copper fan plates, gold greaves, and silver sabatons. She also has a sword called "Everthung", which she can summon by name. Now, she wears a green halter top, baggy brown pants, and a cross-cross belt. She has a swirly birthmark on her right arm. She has lime green eyes and a ruby for a nose.

HER HERO

_Title Card_

_Lilly stands upon the mountain, her sword dug deep in the earth, the moon rising behind her._

As they fell from the cliff, Fionna tugged on the Ocean Monster's seaweed hair, whilst Cake gnawed on her barnacle-covered arm.

"This is your last chance!" Fionna said, still grasping the wet seaweed hair. "Tell us where you've hid the Teenee King!"

_"NEVAR!"_

They all screamed as the ground came closer and closer as they fell towards it. Fionna's ears caught sound of a tiny squeaking sound. Interested, Fionna tore off a large barnacle on the Ocean-Monster's body. The Teenee King was underneath, strapped down by his hands and feet by barnacles. Fionna picked him up. "Hello, Your Highness. CUPCAKE, I'VE GOT THE TEENEE KING!"

"Take my paw, girl!"

Fionna grabbed Cake's furry paw. Cake bloated up like a hot air balloon, holding Fionna and the Teenee Queen in her 'basket.' The Ocean monster hit the earth with a 'splat!' Cake sputtered out her air and they all landed on top of her.

Fionna patted Cake's head. "My inflatable kitty."

They hopped off of the Ocean Monster. Fionna opened up her palm, revealing the caterpillar-like Teenee King.

"How's Tee-K?" asked Cake.

The Teenee King made a small squeaking sound. _"Erop rop eur."_

Fionna's smile tightened. "I have no idea. I cannot understand a single word coming out of him.

The Teenee King took his small legs and drew a message on Fionna's palm.

_Thank U 4 saving me_

_Call me 284089-348970-30847_

"My pleasure, sir." smiled Fionna. "I just like beating up evil."

_"Eruop oe euro."_

"...Not a word..."

Teenee King nodded her farewell, hopped onto Cake's nose, sprouted wings, and flew off.

Cake's ears twitched. "You hear that?"

"What?" Fionna lifted up her ear, but knew Cake was probably using her special cat hearing.

Cale pressed her ear flat on the ground, crawling to the sound. A few minutes later, her ear collided with cool metal. Cake looked up and gasped.

"What?" Fionna hopped over to her.

"Do. You. Know. Who's. Sword. This. Is."

Fionna looked at the sword. Somewhat like hers, the blade was made of diamond. The cross-guard was silver, and the handle was leather-bound, with a sapphire at the end.

Cake couldn't stop jumping up and down. "IT'S THE SWORD OF LILLY!"

Fionna shrieked. _**"LILLY?!"**_

They said it both at the same time: _**"LILYYYYYYYYYY!"**_

* * *

><p><em>Lilly held up her hand, her deep auburn hair whipping around her, and muttered, "Everthung." Her sword appeared in her palm.<em>

_**WHO'S THE GREATEST WARRIOR EVER?**_

_**AND HERO OF PRESTIGE?**_

_**WHO SLAYED AN EVIL TSUNAMI?**_

_Laughing, Lilly ran towards the incoming tsunnami. She held up her foot and blasted through the water._

_**WHO CAST THE LICH QUEEN DOWN?**_

_The Lich Queen held up her fiery purple palms, pulsing with power. Lilly punched her in the gut, sending her tumbling downstairs._

_**LILLY!**_

_**AND THAT TIME THE EVIL FIRE DUCHESS**_

_**CAPTURED A DISTRESSED HUNK?**_

_The Fire Duchess drew nearer on the Cotton Candy Prince. Lilly appeared in front of her and sent her flying away with a kick._

_**WHO SAVED HIM WITH SUCH GLORY**_

_**THAT HE OFFERED HER HIS HAIR?!  
><strong>_

_Cotton Candy prince ripped off a piece of his hair and stuck it in Lilly's mouth._

_**AND ALSO...**_

_The evil Bunny rose up on the horizon, bigger than life itself. Lilly brandished her sword and ran towards it._

_**...FOUGHT A BUNNY?!  
>LILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!<strong>_

* * *

><p>"That was the most awesome song ever." gushed Fionna. "This is amazing!"<p>

She hopped onto Cake's shoulders and placed her hands on the handle, attempting to pull it out. But some unseen force sent them both backwards. A crack ran from the sword up the rock. The crack split, revealing a large cave in the shape of an A.

Fionna gasped. "It's Legendary Cave!"

They walked into the cave. About a minute later...

Fionna and Cake gasped.

The room was filled with breath-taking treasures: a glacier-sized mountain of gold in the middle, with rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, and amethysts everywhere. A albino-tiger rug was in front of them. Treasure chests filled with silver and gold and bones were everywhere. TVs, computers, and video game consoles from before the Fungi War could be seen. Skulls, big and large, dotted everything.

But there stood Lilly herself in the middle.

She smiled at them. "Hello."

Fionna squeaked with excitement. _"IT'S HER."_

"I know." whispered Cake. "Be cool."

"Yes." Lilly said in a very regal voice. "It is I."

"Lilly!" Fionna bowed in front of her like she was in a present of a royal. "I am such a geek for you! Please accept us as your apprentices!"

"What for, young lady?"

"So we can learn to be almighty heroines!" Fionna whooped. "Just like you!"

Cake slid up next to her. "I want to be the cat-version of you."

Lilly shook her head. "It shall be a waste of time."

Cake's face fell and she looked at herself. "Well, yeah, I'm not that much of eye candy, but I can...work out or..."

"You mairs do not want to learn how to slay beasts. It's as pointless as a cat licking every inch of her body."

"THAT, my dear lady, is where you are wrong." proclaimed Cake. "Watch." She stuck her tongue out, trying to lick at her lower back, but ended up just straining her entire body.

"What do you mean, pointless?" asked Fionna. "We just saved the Teenee King from a monster."

"Do thou know where His Highness is now?" asked Lilly. "He has probably digested by another beast by this time."

Fionna gasped, realizing she might be right be right.

"In my youth, I was much like thee." said Lilly. "Motivated. Determined. I wore ridiculous clothing."

Fionna looked down at her outfit.

"I even had my own magic cat."

Lilly gestured over to a cat's dusty skeleton.

Cake shivered. "I'mma gonna faint." She fell backwards.

"All my life I had beaten evil creatures." Lilly took a deep breath of remorse. "But new evil continued to show. Defeating it was useless effort."

Fionna scratched her ear as Cake asked, "But what other way is there?"

"Fight evil non-violently by helping people in your community."

Fionna cocked her head to the side. "Non-violently? I've gotta try being non-violent. THE LILLY WAY."

"Me too!" cheered Cake.

"Lilly, I won't let you down!" said Fionna.

"I love you, Lilly!" cried Cake, "I have a secret crush on you!"

They went cheering out of the cave.

Lilly sighed.

* * *

><p>"This is gonna be hard, Cupcake." Fionna sighed, sitting on Cake's back. "I'll have to supress my every warrior instinct."<p>

"Relax." Cake told her. "We can be non-violent and still help people."

_"HELP! HELP!"_

Fionna and Xake looked up in confusion.

"A MONSTER! MONSTER!"

A female tailoress with thick glasses, a brown paperboy hat, an apron, and a brown dress ran into Cake's leg, screaming. Cake shrunk down and Fionna fell next to her.

"Thank goodness! Heroines!" exclaimed the Tailoress. "I am being chased by a terrible beast! Please help!"

"Oh!" exclaimed Fionna. "Uh..." She looked down at Cake, who shrugged.

There was a booming roar that sounded pretty close. "Hurry! The beast is almost upon us!"

"Sorry." shrugged Cake. "We don't kill things anymore."

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-"

"We've got to do _something_ to help her." said Fionna to Cake as the Tailoress began to cry.

"We can teach her not to be such a spam."

"Miss, besides being chased by a monster, what else is wrong?" asked Fionna.

"I've been running all day. I'm pretty hungry, I guess."

"Say no more." Cake took Fionna's wrist and led her away. "Come on, Fifi."

"Where are you going?" the Tailoress called after them.

"To fix you something to eat!" Cake called back.

The Tailoress screamed as the fire-serpent flew after her.

* * *

><p>Fionna lifted the ladle from the pot, pouring the steaming soup into the stone bowl. The soup looked fantastic, it looked like potato soup with barley, small bits of cheese, and little kernels of corn.<p>

"It kinda feels weird, not killing things with violence." sighed Fionna.

"Trust me." Cake told her. "This is a way better way to help." She put her hands to her muzzle. "SOUP! GET YOUR FREE SOUP!"

A wrinkly man in a green jacket walked up to them. "What's this all about?"

"Free soup, sir." Fionna gave him a steaming bowl. "I can't slay monster guts, but I can slay your hungry guts. That's for sure."

The man laughed and drank from the bowl. "I didn't throw up! This soup is fantastic!"

Fionna cheered.

* * *

><p>Soon, more and more people were coming for the soup until almost everyone in the village had a bowl of it. Some had spoons, other were drinking it like a drink, other were using their hands.<p>

"This is great, Cupcake!" Fionna told her sister.

"Now we're really helping people!" beamed Cake.

"Look who it is!"

"Hey! You're alive!" Cake beamed as the Tailoress walked over to them.

"No thanks to you two!" The Tailoress growled. "That beast chased me for three days! And then I was lost for two days. Then I fell under the spell of a handsome wizard for...five days? That's three plus two plus five-"

Cake shushed her. "Girl. Soup." She handed her a bowl of their soup.

"Oh. Thanks." The Tailoress drank it from the bowl, until there were no potatoes, cheese, barley, or corn or a single drop of soup left. "That was good stuff. What..."

Suddenly, the Tailoress's foot turned to steel. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

"Huh?" Fionna turned around. "Oh. That's probably the Steel-Skip potion I put in the recipe." She held up some maize-colored liquid in a triangular bottle. "It gives your body the power to grow armor."

The Tailoress's other foot turned to steel. And them her arms. And her torso. And her face.

"Uh...Fifi?" asked Cake. "How much of that potion did you use?"

Fionna held up about a dozen empty bottles. Cake started.

Soon, everyone in the village was screaming from their steel-turning limbs. And torsos. And faces.

A woman ran by, fire shooting out of every pour from her body. "MY BOD'S BREATHING FIRE!"

"Huh." said Fionna. "I thought they'd like that."

"Why would ANYONE want that?" exclaimed the Tailoress.

"So you can defend yourselves against evil monsters."

"YOU'RE supposed to kill monsters so we don't HAVE to defend ourselves!" proclaimed the tailoress.

"Don't you see?" beamed Fionna. "I'm helping you non-violently."

"I CAN'T EVEN MOVE MY FINGERS! I'm a tailor. How am I supposed to mend clothes with these useless mittens?"

"So...The village needs a new Tailoress, eh?"

Fionna and Cake exchanged looks.

The Tailoress started. "What? NO-"

* * *

><p>"Now we're tailoresses!" cheered Fionna as they stood in the tailoress store, aprons around their fronts.<p>

"No you're not!" The Tailoress growled. "You're just looking after the shop while I go to the dermatologist. Don't tailor anything!" She hobbled off.

"What does tailor mean anyway?" asked Cake.

"I think it has something to do with clothes."

"Excuse me?"

They both turned to a handsome man in a black tailcoat, pants, and shoes. "I need to have my tailcoat mended. I am heading off to a very important wedding."

"Of course we'll help."

Soon, Fionna was done stitching up the long tear in the man's coat so that you could just hardly notice it.

Suddenly, black wings sprouted from the stitches. The man gasped.

"Now you can fly away if evil comes to the wedding." smiled Fionna.

Cake turned to her, smirking. "Did you use some magic string on that?"

"Maybe...!"

Suddenly, flames, spikes, and a whip came from the stitches.

The man jumped. "I cannot go to the wedding in this!"

The Tailoress walked through the entrance, her skin back to normal. "Hey! I'm back from the doctor!"

The whip tied around her, bringing her to the ground.

"I'm not supposed to bring guests!" the man exclaimed.

The Tailoress growled. "GET. OUT."

Fionna sighed as they walked out of the shop. "I stank at being non-violent."

"Fifi, stanking at something is the first baby step at being good at something." Cake told her. "You and me are like babies right now, with Lilly as your mama. And we're sucking on our formula of non-violent milk."

"Fine." sighed Fifi. "I'll stop 'pooping' my 'diaper.'"

Cake started. "Wait, what?!"

The woman from before, with the fiery skin, ran by. "HELP! I NEED MEDICAL HELP!"

"Medical help?" pondered Fionna.

* * *

><p>Fionna, dressed in a white coat, stethoscope, and a head mirror, leaned against the desk. "How can we help?"<p>

"I want surgery to make my body gorgeous." Lumpy Space Prince said simply.

Fionna stared. "Yikes."

"Yeah." said LSP. "I know I'm already pretty smoking." He held up a pair of red swimming trunks. "But I bought this swimsuit and I need the body for it."

Cake whistled, wearing a nurse's hat. She turned to Fionna. "You up for some serious plastic surgery?"

SURGERY TIME!

"This new bod is gorgeous!" LSP said. He now had thick legs, thick, muscular arms, and washboard abs. He was now wearing his red swimming trunks. He now had hair in the shape of Prince Gumball's. "I feel so powerful."

Suddenly, shoots of fire flew from his biceps. "Huh? What?" His legs formed together into a rocket-style engine.

Cake nudged Fionna. "Did you use more of that string?"

Fionna held up the nearly-empty roll. "I've got a few centimeters left."

"What did you do to me?" LSP asked as his eyes turned metallic and green.

"We made you into a cyborg fighter!" cheered Fionna. "That's gorgeous, right?"

"NO ONE CAN LOOK AT ME AND SAY I'M GORGEOUS!"

"My goodness," The Tailoress walked up to him. "You're the most gorgeous-"

Fire shot out of LSP'S eyes, flaming her alive, before she could finish. LSP's rocket turbine flamed, blasting him away with the Tailoress in tow. And then the flaming woman ran by, still screaming.

"...Cupcake?"

"Yeah?"

"I think us NOT being violent is hurting people. Lilly's gonna be so grumped out." Fionna crawled into a ball on the ground.

"Not if we run away, Fifi." proclaimed Cake. "We can live in stick huts. AND BE CANNIBALS. _WE WILL SURVIVE._"

"I just wanna sit here and groan."

"I'll moan with you, Fifi." said Cake, sitting down next to her.

_"Thanks, Cupcaaaaaake." _groaned Fionna.

_"You're welcomeeeeeeeee."_

"HELP! HELP ME!"

Fionna and Cake jumped and turned to the village square.

The same ocean-monster from before was now holding a short, squat old man, cackling madly. "Relax! I'm just gonna eat you!"

"Aw, dang." groaned Cake. "This sea hag again? HEY!"

Cake bravely stormed up to the monster. "EVIL BEAST! Can you keep your evil beasting quiet? Fifi's going through emotional trash over here."

"It's not evil!" cackled the monster. "When they become this old and useless, they WANT to die! Right, ya old geezer?" She shook the man around like a rag doll.

Fionna looked down at the ground, angry sweat dripping off of her face. She tried to think what to do.

She felt something inside her move. She opened her eyes to see her hand balled into a raised fist. "Raised fist in righteous fury? NO! IT'S MY FIST! I've got to find a way to save this old guy WITHOUT killing this monster."

"You wanna get eaten, right?" taunted the monster.

Fionna jumped high into the air and collided her foot with her jaw. The she span in a circle and brought her fist righteously under her jaw, sending the monster flying into the air, twenty feet away.

"I couldn't think of anything." sighed Fionna as she took Cake's paws.

The old man fell, cheering, into their arms.

"I saved him with violence!" Fionna angrily flipped over a table.

"What's ya fury, dear?" The Old Man asked.

"The greatest heroin in the world asked me to fight evil without violence. And I promised I would. But I let her down..."

"Cheese and rubbish!" laughed the Old Man. "You helped this guy out! And you did it with RIGHTEOUS violence! You're a heroin! You were BORN to kill evil monsters! Just like I was born to be an Old Man! Don't deny your righteous slayings, girls!"

He started flailing his arms in a dance. "Pow pow pow punch and pow pow pow punch!" He Moon-walked away from them to dance more. "And remember, don't take advice from old people!"

"Yeah." smiled Fionna. "Yeah! YEAH! _**YEAH! **_That Old Man has a very awesome point!"

"Wait." frowned Cake. "Didn't he say NOT to take advice from old pe-"

"It's all so clear now! Come, Cupcake! TO THE CAVE OF LILLY!"

"Hooray."

* * *

><p>"It's us again." said Fionna to Lilly as she walked into the cave once more.<p>

"And we bring exciting news!" proclaimed Cake.

_**"I do not want to buy anything, evil scouts of girlhood!"**_

"Lilly," started Fionna, "And Old Man told me not to listen to cos you're old and to do what I was BORN to do. Which is slaying evil."

"Do thou not see how pointless slaying evil-doing is?" sighed Lilly. "Do thou not know where the Old Man is now? He very well may be deceased!"

"He's right here."

Cake turned around, revealing the Old Man riding on her tail. "Hello, friend!"

Lilly gasped.

"We saved her, Lilly." beamed Fionna.

"YOU saved her." corrected Cake, dancing with the Old Man.

"_**I **_saved her, Lilly. I saved him using violence." Fionna glowed. "And that's not a bad thing. This Old Man's alive because of violence! And look how happy he is!"

The Old Man laughed hysterically as he did a slap-dance.

"He's blooming with joy!"

"Perhaps thou may be right."

Suddenly, Lilly gasped out in pain and put her large hands over her chest. "Thou words are repairing the void in my soul." She parted away the clothing of her shirt. "You wanna watch?"

Fionna and Cake gasped and watched as the Old Man continued dancing. Blood veins twisted and twisted until there was a beating heart between Lilly's lungs once again. The gaping hole in her flesh disappeared.

"EVERTHUNG!"

Lilly's sword appeared in her hand magically. She bowed down in front of Fionna and Cake. "Fionna and Cake, you two are now my heroes."

Rainbows poured from Fionna and Cake's mouths.

Lilly stepped back a bit, "You gals are freaking me out."

Fionna and Cake jumped onto Lilly and hugged her tightly. Lilly pulled them off, only to be replaced by the Old Man. "Pow pow pow punch pow pow pow punch."

"Oh, hey."

Fionna and Cake cheered. "We love you, Lilly!"

"Get outta here."

Still rainbowing from their mouths, Fionna and Cake ran all the way back home.

And they never forgot Lilly's respected smile.

TRIVIA

This episode shows a few of Fionna's other abilities; Namely, cooking, tailoring, and being a doctor.

The Lich Queen makes her first appearance in this episode.

Ada Muto said that the reason Lumpy Space Prince was in town was that he wandered down a back alley in search of low-cost, unlicensed cosmetic surgery.

Lilly said that the Teenee King was probably dead after Fionna and Cake rescued her. In the original storyboard he was taken by trolls after she left Fionna and Cake.

After Fionna saves the Teenee King, he writes "THANK U 4 SAVING ME, XOXOXO, CALL ME" on his hand, along with his phone number

Lilly is enemies with the Fire Duchess and friends with Cotton Candy Prince, whereas Fionna is enemies with the Ice Queen and friends with Prince Gumball. However, Lilly has slain the Fire Duchess, but Fionna has not slain the Ice Queen.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

Lilly slaying the Evil Tsunami is similar to Finn conquering his fear of the sea in "Sea of Fear."

Lilly was wearing her armor when she slayed the Lich Queen.


	26. TummyTyra

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**TummyTyra-**the TummyTyra is a beastly creature. She looks very similar to Cake, but her fur is silver and copper and more scruffy and coarse. Its fur is dirty and more filthier, and its tail is shorter. Its teeth are much more sharper, and its eyes and deep red.

_Title Card_

_The young children screamed as the TummyTyra suddenly closed in on them, snarling and hissing._

"Cupcake! Cuuuuuuupcake!"

Fionna stepped out of the bushes. On their adventure to help Stacy the Cantaloupe once again, Fionna had lost sight of Cake completely. Against a small stone, she found Cake's hammered dulcimer, but Cake was nowhere in sight. She sat down, placing the instrument in her lap and then picking up the hammers. She started to play horrible, shrieking, coarse notes.

There was a scream.

"What?" Fionna stopped.

Cake suddenly popped out from the trees, her paws covering her ears in pain. She rolled in circles on the ground, shrieking and screaming. She slapped the instrument out of the human girl's palms.

"That bombed, Fifi!" exclaimed the cat.

Fionna frowned. "But I don't know how to play-"

"Precisely! My dulcimer hates being played by people who don't even know how!" Cake began to play a few melodic notes, as if checking that Fionna's horrible playing had not damaged her beloved instrument.

_"NOOOOOOO! AAAAHHH! HELP!"_

"Huh?" Fionna and Cake span around in unison.

"Someone needs our help!" yelped Fionna. "Let's go!"

"Wait! I've gotta fix my dulcimer!"

* * *

><p>Fionna ran into the Plushie village, panting. She looked around. The ground was made of cotton, the houses made of various fabrics, all stuffed with cotton. The Plushie people, animals, butterflies, and dolls, all stuffed with cotton and sewn with fabric, were sobbing and bawling, tears running down their faces until they were absorbed into their skin.<p>

"Plushies!" Fionna ran up to them all. "Why are you all in a bizuz?"

The mayor of the Plushies, a stuffed eagle with waterspout, yellow-green, and patriarch feathers, looked up from them, her harlequin eyes glittering with tears. "The TummyTyra. She's back!"

Fionna raised an eyebrow in confusion. "The TummyTyra?"

"Yes. She is back for sure."

"Who is this chick?" asked Fionna.

The Mayor sighed. "The TummyTyra is a jewel-eating beast."

* * *

><p><em><strong>In the past, the Plushies of this village loved piling all of our jewels in the center of town and dancing madly around it. It was SO. AWESOME.<strong>_

_The Plushies of the village brought all of their precious, beloved jewels, and piled them onto the cotton ground._

_**But then the TummyTyra came and stole all of our jewels!**_

_Suddenly, a furry, scruffy hand swooped down and took all of the jewels greedily._

_**So we adapted and learned how to hide our gold with a big bowl.**_

_The Mayor took the gigantic bowl and placed it over the large pile of jewels. _

_**And it worked! The TummyTyra didn't come back! But recently-and true, it was probably a bad idea-we removed our jewels from under the bowl and put it in the center of town. CAUSE WE REALLY LIKED DANCING AROUND IT!**_

_The Plushies took all of their jewels from under the bowl and placed it back in the center of town in a huge pile. _

_**But boy oh boy was that a mistake. You know what happened?**_

* * *

><p>"Uh..." Fionna hesitated. "...It came back and stole all your jewels?"<p>

"YES! SHE ATE ALL OUR JEWELS!" The Mayor began to sob.

"Aw." Fionna patted her hand on the Mayor's fabricated back. "Don't cry, Ms. Plushie Mayor. I'll find this monster and bring peace to this village! I SWEAR!"

"Swear to what?" A violet cat asked. "You gotta swear to something?"

"Uh...Justice? I SWEAR TO JUSTICE!"

The Plushies all cheered wildly.

"So...What does she look like?"

The Mayor frowned. "Oh...Uh...We usually just close our eyes and tinkle from fear when she comes. It's so frightening! But..." The Mayor gestured over to a paw-print in the ground, about the size of a horse. "She did leave this paw-print."

Suddenly, something huge and furry slammed down between them, causing everyone to shriek in fear.

"What's up, Plushas?" asked Cake, beaming down at all of the Plushies.

"HER PAWS MATCH THE FOOTPRINTS!" Someone scream.

"IT'S THE TUMMYTYRA!" Another one shrieked.

"I'M GONNA TINKLE!"

"Nononononononono!" said Fionna, waving her arms to and fro. "Calm down, everybody! This is my friend, Cake the Cat."

Everyone breath a gigantic sigh of relief.

"I almost tinkled..." the young, indigo Koala sighed.

"Wait." Cake raised an eyebrow, as if coming up with an idea. "You were gonna tinkle if I were the TummyTyra?"

"Oh yeah." said the young Koala, waving his denim arm like it was no big deal. "We're terrified of her."

Cake's face went horrific. Her teeth somewhat sharpened, horns coming out of her head. "THEN I AM THE TUMMYTYRA!"

All of the Plushies screamed horribly. "I'M GONNA TINKLE!" The Koala cried before running away like a child.

Fionna chuckled as Cake went into guffaws.

"I'm just kiddin', everyone!" cried Cake. "I'm just..."

She disappeared from view before stepping out from behind Fionna, in her normal size. "Cake the Cat!"

"Awwww..." a turquoise Raggedy Leanne cooed. "It's just a cute little kitten."

Cake frowned, and her paws balled into fists. "I'm not cute! I-"

A little blue bear-cub ran up to her. "Kitty!" She rubbed her behind the ears. "Pat-pat."

"Hey!" retorted Cake. "What're you-?"

The cub rubbed under her muzzle. Cake purred-yes, _purred, _of all people-and closed her eyes. She drooled.

Fionna scoffed at her.

Cake's eyes flew open. "What?"

"I didn't say anything." said Fionna as the cub set Cake on the ground, petting and rubbing all over her. "Plushies of the Village of Plushies! I and my companion Cake swear to find this beastly beast and slay it!"

The Plushies cheered like a riot.

"Let's go, Cupcake."

Cake's eyes fluttered open as the cub rubbed her forehead. "Wha-? No."

Fionna had to drag her out of the village.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Fifi." said Cake as she and Fionna followed the trail of paw-prints through the grassy plains. Cake was fitting her paws into the prints. "My paws fit these prints pretty well. Ha. What if I really am the TummyTyra?" She laughed, but it sounded more nervous than kidding.<p>

Fionna smiled and pointed an accusing finger at the cat. "Cupcake, your paws will fit anything."

"That IS true." laughed Cupcake. "Check this out!"

Her paws all shrunk down greatly, until they resembled Mary Jane shoes. She began to follow Fionna's trail of footprints mockingly. _"I'm Fionna the Human. And I stink at the dulcimer."_

Fionna, just as mockingly, fixed her mouth and nose so that they somewhat resembled Cake's muzzle. _"I'm Cake the Cat. And I lick myself when no one's looking."_

Cake frowned. "There are a lot of interesting tasted you can get from licking yourself..."

There were sudden, shrill cries heard. They looked ahead to see the Triangular Village coming up in the horizon, its pointy buildings like cones.

Fionna entered the village, climbed up a ladder, and looked down to the ground. The Triangular people, all shapes and colors, were sobbing and bawling.

"Hey, Triangles! What's going on here?" asked Fionna.

"The TummyTyra slicked into out village and stole all of our precious jewels!" The Mayor cried, tears running down her red surface.

Cake appeared behind Fionna, roughly the size of a whale. "Wait. What happened?"

The Triangles all cried louder, screaming. "THE TUMMYTYRA!"

"No! She isn't the TummyTyra!" exclaimed Fionna. "She's my best friend/sister!"

A pink Triangle narrowed her eyes. "We've seen the TummyTyra, and she looks exactly like her!"

Cake gave off a nervous chuckle. "That's bonkers."

"Cupcake!" said Fionna. "Normal-size!"

"Oh, yeah."

Fionna jumped off of the building and landed on the ground. Cake jumped after her, shrinking down with the speed of light to her normal size. Cake began flailing her arms, kicking her feet to do a jig.

_"I am not_

_The TummyTyra!_

_Be-ba-ba-bee-boo-ba!" _She got down on her stomach, doing the slug-dance.

"Awwwww," Cooed a green triangle. "It's just a cute little kitten."

Cake sprang up, her eyes narrowed. "Ya'll are the ones who are adorable! _I'M GORGEOUS!"_

"Awwwwww. She's all mad."

"Even cuter."

Cake cried out in exasperation.

A yellow Triangle ran up to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. "She's so adorable!" She began to rub under Cake's muzzle.

"I'm not adorable! I'm...gor_aaaaaaah..._" Cake's eyes rolled into the back of her head.

"We are seeking the TummyTyra as well!" proclaimed Fionna. "Me and my sister Cake will find it and slay it! Tell us what she looked like."

"Exactly like her," A orange Triangle pointed to Cake. "But bigger."

As the yellow Triangle began to rub behind her ears, Cake's eyes swirled like puddles of water. "Ruarahh..."

"Which way did she go?"

In unison, the Triangles all pointed in the opposite direction of them.

"Cupcake! Let's go!"

"What?" Cake snapped out of her trance. "Where am I?"

"C'mon!" Fionna ran towards the gates of the village.

"I'm not adorable!" Cake snapped at the village people one last time. "I beat 'chu you up!"

* * *

><p>"Fifi..." sighed Cake as Fionna rode on her back through another field. "W...ugh...What if I AM the TummyTyra?"<p>

"WHAT?"

"What if I'm-I dunno-stealing jewels in my sleep?"

"That's impossible. _I watch you while you sleep."_

"Wha-? Fifi, that's just plain creepy."

"I can't help it. I take pictures."

"When do YOU sleep?"

_"Bravery never sleeps."_

"There has to be some time when you're not watching me. Maybe I'm stealing jewels...unconsciously?"

Fionna, annoyed, stuck her head in Cake's enlarged ear. "YOU. ARE. NOT. _THE. __**TUMMYTYRA.**_"

_WEEOOO! ALARM! ALARM! WEEOO!_

Fionna and Cake looked up. The Cactus Village was in the horizon. It sat in the desert, dusty and sandy. Everything was made of cacti. The buildings were cacti that towered over twenty stories high, with windows and doors carved into the skin and the insides hollow. The sun made its shadows cast over the ground like figures dancing. Sirens were blaring from it.

"Let's go!" Fionna stopped. "Oh. Wait. What if they think you're the TummyTyra?"

She thought for a short moment before snapping her fingers. "I got it!"

She reached into her backpack and took out a clown-mask, with red lips and big blue eyes. Then she pulled out a rainbow-colored wig.

Cake adjusted her body's form. She balled her torso together and her arms turned into the shape of wings. Her legs grew longer, with her paws now webbed. She grew out her neck, so it was a few feet long. Her body resembled that of an ostrich's now. Fionna strapped the mask over her eyes and muzzle, then put on the wig to conceal her ears.

Cake's voice muffled under the mask. "Let's go!" She ran into the village.

The Cacti people, cacti with humanoid designs and pointed faces, were sobbing and bawling like their children had been slaughtered.

Fionna frowned. "These people are a mess."

Suddenly, two spiky arms shot in front of them.

"Halt!" The female guard cried. "Identify yourselves!"

"I am Fionna the Heroin!" proclaimed Fionna.

"I'm...uh..." Cake's voice paused, her new face moving life-likely. "Payaso!"

"We are on a mission to slay the TummyTyra!"

There was gasps from the crowd. The two guard women stepped aside. Another cacti women, with gold thorns instead of brown, stepped in front of the two heroin girls.

"I am the Mayor of this village. Our gold has been stolen by the very monster in which you speak of!"

Fionna hopped of Payaso/Cake and said, "I swear to slay this beast and return all of your jewels!"

"Our people shall praise you forever." The Mayor beamed.

A servant-girl waddled up to her, a piece of paper in her hands/spines. She held it out to Fionna and Cake.

"This is a photograph of the TummyTyra to help you with your expedition." said the Mayor.

"Thank you." Fionna took the paper.

Cake gasped.

The TummyTyra stood twenty feet tall, or so it seemed in the photograph. Her fur was scruffy and dirty, colored with silver and copper. Her teeth were so sharp, it was a wonder that her gums weren't bleeding. Her nails were madly sharp as well, and her tail was even scruffier than the rest of her.

"Fifi." whimpered Cake. "It's ME."

"We already know it looks like you." Fionna said, crumpling up the photo and sliding it into her skirt-pocket. "It's just one of those freaky coincidences. Like how my knee looks like your muzzle."

"Yeah, I know you think it does, Fifi." sighed Cake. "But this is really different. I'm...so scared..." Cake's legs began to quake like crazy. In fact, her whole body was quaking.

"Cupcake, calm down."

Her body couldn't take anymore shaking. Her mask and wig fell, and her body began to return to its normal shape.

"IT'S THE TUMMYTYRA!"

"GET HER!"

"No! She isn't the TummyTyra!" cried Fionna as the Cacti people began to corner them. "I swear on justice! And heroism! And on Cake's adorable face!"

"Her face isn't adorable, it's weird!" cried the Mayor. "It is obvious! YOUR FRIEND IS THE TUMMYTYRA!"

_**"NO!" **_shrieked Fionna as Cake was pulled away from her by the people. Cake was pushed and pulled through the crowd.

"You are hereby imprisoned for stealing our jewels for the rest of your life!" proclaimed the Mayor.

Cake was tossed into a filthy cell, and cactus bars closed the opening.

Fionna ran up to Cake. "I swear I'll get you out of here, Cake."

"No, Fifi. The truth is obvious. I am the TummyTyra." A single tear dropped off of Cake's muzzle.

"Listen to me, Cupcake. You've been my sister my entire life. That's enough evidence to say that you are innocent."

"Then why am I in jail?" asked Cake. "Only TummyTyras go to jail."

"I'm in jail."

Fionna and Cake turned to a grey, wrinkled, balding woman with a ruby tooth. "And I'm not the TummyTyra!" She snatched up a cockroach from the ground and popped it into her mouth. "I'm here for the free food!"

Fionna beamed. "That's it!"

She plucked the ruby tooth from the old woman's mouth. She ran to the center of town and held it above her head. "HEY, TUMMYTYRA! I'VE GOT A JEWEL HERE YOU MISSED! COME AND GET IT!"

Suddenly, the metal plate covering the sewage pipe behind her quaked. "Huh?" Fionna turned around as the metal plate opened.

A tiny, adorable kitten with coffee-and-white hair and sparkling black eyes popped up.

"What? YOU'RE the TummyTyra?" asked Fionna in disbelief. She had to admit, the kitten did look like a younger-version of Cake, but it looked nothing like the photograph whatsoever.

The kitten exploded.

The real TummyTyra crawled out of the pipe, and the townspeople went into a panic and ran about. The TummyTyra towered twenty feet over Fionna, tops. She looked like Cake, yes, but also sort of like a demon. She growled down at Fionna, her eyes on the ruby jewel.

Fionna started to run in fear. The TummyTyra ran after her, her claws outstretched. She hit Fionna's back with her paw, knocking her to the dusty ground. She pinned her down with her paw, then caught the flying jewel. She snarled in triumph.

Cake groaned. The old woman had been petting and rubbing her this entire time, cooing and gushing over her. She was beginning to become annoyed as the woman whispered, "So adorable."

"I'm not adorable." Cake said softly, but acidly.

Then, her eyes started to change. The white of them disappeared, leaving only black. Her head felt weird, like she was swimming or something. If the woman hadn't been holding her, she'd have fallen on the ground by now.

_Am I the TummyTyra?_

_YOU. ARE. NOT. THE. __**TUMMYTYRA.**_

_AAAAHHHH! THE TUMMYTYRA!_

_It's obvious! Your friend is the TummyTyra!_

_It's just a freaky coincidence._

Cake watched as the TummyTyra cackled over Fionna, laughing like a banshee as she held the jewel up. Fionna was covered with dust, and the claws from the TummyTyra's nails were scratching her back lightly, but it burned.

_I-I must be the TummyTyra._

_And I. WANT. __**JEWELS.**_

And then Cake lost all reason.

The jail blew into pieces, causing everyone to stare. Even the TummyTyra. Cake now stood, twenty feet tall, her eyes pitch black and murderous. Her claws looked ready to kill. Her teeth were extended, ready to sink into whatever she could find. She locked eyes on the TummyTyra.

Running on all fours, she ran a small distance over to her. Cake grabbed Fionna like a Raggedy Leanne doll and tossed her thirty feet away. The TummyTyra, because her paw had been resting on the human girl, stumbled back from unbalance. Cake took this as an advantage and she delivered a heavy, clawed punch to the TummyTyra's gut.

The TummyTyra landed on her back painfully. The jewel flew from her paw into the air. Fionna jumped up and caught it between her hands. "WE GOT HER! Thanks for saving me, Cupcake."

_"I AM NOT YOUR CUPCAKE!" _'Cake's' voice was raspy and bloody, like she was a demonic killer. Drool was pouring from her mouth. "I'M THE TUMMYTYRA! NOW GIVE ME THAT JEWEL!"

"Wha-? WHAT?" Fionna stumbled back, too confused for words.

Cake/the TummyTyra swooped down and tried to take a bite out of Fionna with her razored teeth. Fionna screamed and ran away from her sister. As she jumped over an incline, a cactus snagged at her backpack, tearing it off almost completely. Instead, little of it remained on her shoulders, but its contents spilled everywhere.

Cake/the TummyTyra pounced in front of Fionna, growling like a savage beast. "GIVE ME THE JEWEL!"

Fionna was filled with anger, rage, and annoyance now. "IF I GIVE YOU THIS STUPID JEWEL WILL YOU STOP BEING A PSYCHO BRUTE?"

Cake/the TummyTyra angrily punched her away with her paw. Fionna fell to the ground, and Cake/the TummyTyra plucked away the jewel. Popping it into her mouth like a snack, she stormed into the village.

Fionna didn't even try to stand. She was confused beyond all recognition. "Cupcake...? You never turn into a monster when _**I**_ want you to! You're always like 'Not now, Fifi, I got a stomachache.'" Fionna sighed heavily and looked down at her backpack's fallen contents. Cake's hammered dulcimer-Cake's precious, sacred dulcimer-was standing right in front of her. She set it in her lap and took the hammers. "Now all I have is your dulcimer." She began to play a few notes on it.

Cake/the TummyTyra froze in her tracks. "What?" Snarling, she pounced over to Fionna once more. "STAY AWAY FROM MY DULCIMER!"

Fionna almost exploded with joy. "You remember your dulcimer!"

"Yeah," snarled Cake/the TummyTyra. "I also remember that you stink at it. AND THE DULCIMER'S RADICAL! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS!"

Cake's head began to sway, her eyes fluttering open and closed. They went back to white with black pupils. Her head was spinning again. Her claws retracted, her teeth going blunt. She looked around, like she was lost. "Wha-? Where am I?" She looked down. "Is that you, Fifi?"

"Who else would I be, doll?"

Cake sighed in relief and shrank down back to her normal size. "I guess I went bazookas."

"You were beyond bazookas, Cupcake." Chuckled Fionna. "Like, mentally insane." She pulled Cake into a hug. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to have you RUB my back." chuckled Cake.

Curiously, Fionna rubbed under her muzzle. Cake moaned, closed her eyes, and began to drool. "If I'd known you were more easily manipulated, I'd eaten more of your cobbler."

"Knock it off!"

Everyone in the village circled around the TummyTyra's fallen form. Her eyes were open, her mouth agape, but did now move an inch.

"CUT OPEN HER TUMMY!" someone cried, and there were cheers of agreement. "Retrieve our gold!"

Suddenly, the TummyTyra's gut exploded. Instead of a usual gory sight, there was nothing but jewels. All kinds of jewels. Sapphires, rubies, emeralds, topaz, diamonds, amethysts, opals, spinels, even a few pearls. Nothing but jewels and a...Cactus man? The people all stared at thefamiliar teenage boy in confusion, looking at his golden spines and lime green skin.

"What?" The Mayor walked over to the young boy in confusion. "Shawn? What are you doing in the TummyTyra?"

There were murmurs from the crowd, like, "What's going on?" "It couldn't be!" "It's the Mayor's son!" Fionna and Cake walked over to the commotion, curious as to what was happening.

The Mayor suspiciously took some of the TummyTyra's shredded 'skin' in her spines. "The TummyTyra's skin isn't skin at all! It's nylon!" She shrieked and turned to the young Cactus, Shawn. "SHAWN? HAVE YOU BEEN USING YOUR SEWING MACHINE?"

Shawn scoffed. "Yeah, Mom. I've been stealing gold."

_**"WHYYYYYYYYY SHAWN?!"**_

"BECAUSE Mom! I want to buy that guitar you won't let me have! And I dressed up like Cake because I think she's hot!"

There was a surprised, shocked gasp from the crowd.

Fionna and Cake looked at each other.

Cake rose her eyebrows twice.

"YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY, SHAWN!" The Mayor screeched. "GUARDS! TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEONS!"

As the guards dragged the young boy away, the Mayor approached Fionna and Cake. "Thank you both for saving our village."

"No problemo, Mayor." smiled Fionna.

"Now," the Mayor stretched out her spines. "Give us some hugs!"

"Uh..." Fionna and Cake began to step away quickly as the crowd cornered in on them. "No! We don't need any hugs! Don't hug us!"

Needless to say, that was a pretty bad experience.

TRIVIA

This is the sixth episode that has a character's name for a title, the others being "Tree-Trunks", " The Bouncer", "Rochelle the Heart Girl", "The Duchess", and " Donna."

A running gag is that the Plushies, Triangles, and Cacti think that Cake is adorable. sHe says "I'm not adorable! I'M GORGEOUS!"

The back of Jake's viola says "Burpsies".

After Cake takes the jewel from Fionna, a note from her backpack (that was previously torn) reads "DO NOT LOSE THIS PAPER -PG".

Though Cake wasn't the TummyTyra, it would explain the piles of jewels in her and Fionna's Treehouse.


	27. It Came from the Twilosphere

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Marshal Lee**—is a counterpart of Marceline. He has the same abilities as Marceline. Marshall Lee has pointy ears and light blue skin. His hair is shorter than Marceline's but he has a matching permanent bite mark. He initially wore a grey plaid shirt, but now wears a red and black plaid shirt. He also wears dark blue jeans, and brownish-white sneakers. His outfits differ in the episodes, though, like Prince Gumball. Though Marceline has circle-shaped eyes, his eyes are rectangular. Unlike Marceline's forked, snake-like tongue, Marshall Lee's tongue is rounded. Marshall Lee is a wild rock star. Centuries of wandering the Land of Aaa have made him a fearless daredevil. He and Marceline both have regular electric bass guitars. In this episode, he wears a long-sleeved grey and red shirt, worn jeans, and black sneakers.

**Heather Adageer-**is Marshall Lee's mother and the ruler of the Twilosphere. She is completely evil, but seems to have a hidden soft spot for her son. In her usual form, she has light blue skin, cat-like green eyes with red slits, high cheekbones, and sharp teeth. Her ears are pointed at the end, and she has her black hair in a tight bun. She usually wears a grey jacket, a white blouse with a red tie, a grey pencil skirt, and red boots. Her monster form is much more grotesque. She has her body the same, but her upper half is horribly different. Her head is now resembling a black brain with sharp devil horns, and lemon eyes. Her mouth is now resembling a parallel cut in her head, with sharp, needle-like teeth and a snake-like tongue. Vocal chords hang freely below her chin. She has a pair of red and black tentacle arms sprouting from her neck. Two sacs are on either side of her throat, containing the souls that she has eaten.

IT CAME FROM THE TWILOSPHERE

_Title Card_

_Marshall Lee takes Fionna's hand and they float in the direction of the moon, smiling at each other._

Fionna softly beatboxed to herself as she waited for Marshall Lee to tune his bass guitar correctly. She looked around. Marshall Lee continued to live in the swamp where she and Cake had lived for about three hours until he kicked them out. He had made a home where they had previously made their camp site. He had replaced it with a two-story red brick house with black shingles. It had only three windows, but she guessed that was only because there was a little sun-setting light in the swamp coming through the entrance. There were two doors, one in the front and one in the back patio. He had made a small ping-pong table against the building. He had managed to make a small garden with emerald green grass but poisonous toadstools. She liked it.

"Thanks for helping me record my music today, Fionna." said Marshall Lee as he pricked a chord on the guitar to check the tuning.

"No problemo, Marshello." replied Fionna happily.

"Now," said Marshall Lee once he had finished tuning. "I'm going to sing something really personal." He stood up on the wooden floor of the patio and took Fionna's hand, leading her inside. "So don't laugh at me."

"Don't fret, dear sir." laughed Fionna.

Marshall Lee's eyes narrowed to slits acidly at her. _"I said don't laugh at me."_

Fionna covered her mouth immediately.

They entered the living room. The two of the three windows of the house were on the north and right walls, and Fionna realized they were dimmed. There was a bright light on the ceiling. The walls were blood red, the floor a carpet black. There was one picture on the wall of a bloody knife. There were two leather couches, a juke box with a wide variety of selections, and a small TV that obviously came before the Fungi War. A ladder next to the TV led upstairs. Two white candles were on the wall above one of the couches. A wooden stand next to the same couch held a sort of double-lamp.

"Now," said Marshall Lee, setting the bass in the right position, "Start with a slow beat. And keep it steady, or it'll mess up everything."

"Coming right up!" beamed Fionna. She picked up the tape on the floor and put on one of the headphone ears. _"Boo chaka boo boo bee chaka..."_

"Great." nodded Marshall Lee. "Not hit record."

Fionna pressed the button down on the tape. _"Booma booma booma booma..."_

Marshall Lee began as Fionna continued

_"Mommy_

_Why did you eat my pie?_

_I bought it_

_It was mine._

_But you ate it_

_Yeah, you ate my pie_

_And I cried_

_But you didn't see me cry._

_Mommy_

_Do you even love me?_

_Well I wish you'd show it._

_Because I wouldn't know it._

_What kinda mom eats_

_Her own son's pie?_

_Doesn't even look him in the eyes._

_Mommy there were tears there_

_If you saw them would you even care?"_

Fionna's beatboxing had turned very slow by the time he got to the part about him questioning his mother's love. Then her beatboxing got quieter. Then it was just a whimpering whisper.

Fionna dismissed the beatboxing with a depressed sigh.

"Huh?" Marshall Lee turned to Fionna, his cheeks somehow a light red with nonexistent blood. He bared his fangs. "FIONNA, YOU MESSED UP THE BEAT!"

But Fionna was whimpering, her eyes brimmed with tears. Not because she was sad that he had yelled at her, but because he was missing his mother so much. Fionna's mother had died when she was younger, and she still missed her deeply. "Marshall, if you miss your mother so much, why don't you go see her?"

At first, Marshall Lee did not reply. He just stared down at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Then he shook it off. "Nah. She's not worth the effort."

"Not worth what effort?" asked Fionna suspiciously.

"Whelp," Marshall Lee leaned back in the air, strumming a few chords on his bass. "First I'd have to draw a circle with a crazy face in the center."

Fionna reached into her pack and, seeing Marshall Lee was distracted, took out a permanent black pen. She drew a round circle on the wall above the couch and drew a Peg Face in the center. "What would you have to do next?"

"Then I'm pretty sure you have to douse it with beetlejuice."

Fionna ran into Marshall Lee's kitchen momentarily, reached into the fridge and pulled out the correct carton. Then she ran back into the room, making sure Marshall Lee hadn't noticed her momentary absence. Then she ripped the top off of the carton and threw the carton at the Peg Face, the thick olive juice splattering everything. "Oh yeah?"

The beetlejuice began to seep into the Peg Face like ink into paper. The eyes glowed bright, the skin shiny like glass. Suddenly, the two candles on either side of it lit up madly.

"And then you're supposed to chant something like..." Marshall Lee paused, as if trying to remember. _"_قد الشر توجيه روحك_"_

Fionna nodded. "And then?"

"And then the Portal to the Twiloshpere should open up like a door."

Fionna's eyes grew to saucers and her breathing hitched. She looked at the Peg Face and saw it was beginning to vibrate. "Twilosphere?"

"Yeah." Marshall Lee ran a pale finger up and down the long chords smoothly. "But I don't really want to see my Mom. I'm still made about that thing with the pie."

Suddenly, a sound like a harsh wind tearing through the leaves of the trees filled the room, along with the howling of an awakening beast.

Marshall Lee started. "Wha-?"

"So...uh..." Fionna paused. "...You really don't want to see her."

And then something like a bull pushed her onto her stomach. She turned around on her back and saw that the Peg Face was sliding apart like a slide door. And then the split flew up and down the wall. The wall flew apart, but instead of seeing the outside swamp, all Fionna saw was a night sky. There were blood red storm clouds in the distance, raining blood down as well as black lightning. Flames suddenly sprouted all around. The couch tore in two, the lamp fell in shards on the floor. The floor in front of the opening began to go down in stairs until they disappeared into the flames.

The flames flickered off of Fionna's baseball-sized pupils. _"What have I done?"_

And suddenly, a fiery ball landed a few feet in front of Fionna. The flames disappeared quickly, revealing a full skeleton, but the shards of bone were spread randomly. Nerves were also there, piled together. Two cat-like eyeballs and a brain were limp before her. There were digestive systems included. Kidneys, lungs, a pancreas, vocal chords, and muscles were there in the pile, and blood veins were spread around like noodles.

And then something light blue began to shape around them. The innards and bones began to lift up into the air with the help of the forming skin. Things in the colors of black, grey, white, and red fitted around them. A wisp of black hair appeared like smoke.

And then there was a woman. A woman with cat-like eyes, tied up black hair, high cheekbones, and a business suit with boots. Heather Adageer.

At first Heather was as still as a marble statue. The she blinked and leaned forward a bit. "Son?" Her voice sounded like a bird's tweet. "Did you summon me?"

"NO!" yelled Marshall Lee. He span to Fionna so fast he almost turned into a tornado. "FIONNA WHAT THE GLOB DID YOU DO?"

Fionna smiled sheepishly as a drop of sweat slithered down her temple. "I...reunited you with your beloved...?"

Marshall Lee fumed.

Fionna felt movement behind her. She turned around swiftly and nearly screamed when she saw Heather's face, cat-like eyes and all, only a few inches before her.

"Marshall Lee," said Heather slowly. "Is this young lady your maid?"

"I'm not evil, Marshall Lee's Mom!" proclaimed Fionna with a thumbs-up. "I'm suppa great!"

Heather's face curved into a deep frown. _"SUPER GREAT?" _Her tweety voice was now a crow's shriek. She turned sharply to her son. "Son, I am greatly disappointed in you. Being involved with organisms of great alignment."

Marshall Lee's eyes glowed red with fury, and his fangs went as sharp as razors. "I'M **BEING INVOLVED **WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T TREAT ME LIKE POOP!"

"Whoa, whoa." Fionna waved her hands for a signal for them to calm down. "Don't be wonk. Families should be loving to one another."

Heather narrowed her cat eyes and turned to the young heroin sharply. "Me and my son are perfectly loving, ignorant child." Then her face froze like a marble statue once more. She lifted her head upwards, inhaling through her nostrils deeply. Then her cat-like slits widened to full irises, much like a shark when it smells blood. The corners of her mouth lifted into a wicked smile. "I can smell your heroic soul, mortal.

At first, Fionna's eyebrows lowered in confusion. Then she stood straighter with realization. "Oh! Sorry bout that. My soul reeks of heroism."

Fangs extracted from Heather's tough gums, as sharp and as deadly as knives. _"I'M GONNA SUCK IT OUT OF YOU."_

"Wait." Fionna stepped back a bit. "Say what?"

Heather's tough palms flew up to Fionna's shoulders faster than the speed of light. Then her mouth opened to the size of a basketball. Her fangs were as big as golf balls. Her snaky tongue was like a knife. She began to suck in through her mouth. But instead of sucking in air, a sort of pale gold vapor filled her mouth and flew down her throat. It took a moment to realize that the vapor was coming from HERSELF. It was pouring through her skin, through her eyes, and mouth. Then the drainage took effect. Fionna's brain felt like water. Her insides were hollow, like someone had gutted her like a fish. Her nerves felt like noodles. Her arms and legs felt like jelly. Her field of vision began to fill with bright white spots.

_**"YOU ALWAYS DO STUFF LIKE THIS!"**_

Marshall Lee lashed his mother away from Fionna. Heather stumbled back, shocked, the last of the soul vapor slithering down her throat. Fionna fell back like she was lifeless. But her soul seemed to be slowly regaining itself. Her brain began to materialize again. Her insides were being filled like someone was pouring a pitcher of her soul into her body. Her nerves began to harden. Her limbs began to return their feeling. Her field of vision became clear.

Marshall Lee was still glowering at his mother. _**"YOU ALWAYS HATE ON MY FRIENDS AND EAT MY SNACKS! AND THEN YOU SNACK ON MY FRIENDS!"**_

Heather froze again, eyes still wide. But then her face broke out in a wide grin, and a sound like a canary's song was pouring through her lips. A laugh. "Oh, Marshie, my little firework. I never know what's gonna set you off!" Then she frowned again and stared down at Marshall Lee's bass. "Is this the family Morning Star?" She ripped the instrument from the vampire's palms.

"HEY!" Marshall Lee shouted in surprise.

"Did you turn it into some kind of bango?" Heather strummed a few shrill notes.

Fionna was growing worried. She knew how much the bass meant to Marshall Lee. He had only given it to her once, when he wanted her to slay an adorable little plant. He had later told her that there was a special curse on the bass that, if held by anyone BUT the owner, would kill them. The only reason Fionna wasn't killed was because Marshall Lee had let her hold it with his permission. And because it was a family item, the curse did not affect family members.

_**"GIVE IT BACK AND **__**GET OUT**__**!" **_Marshall Lee hissed, his eyes glowing brighter than the sun.

Heather rolled her eyes. "I'll go. I'm hungry anyways. I think I'll go..." She paused, as if considering the options. "...suck up all the souls in Aaa."

"Whaugh?!" Fionna choked out. Her throat felt like paper. "NO!"

Heather held the bass between her palms. She smirked as she observed it, running her fingers over the metal and chords. "I'm going to take this with me." She swung the head of the Morning Star around like a kid trying out a new toy. "Maybe slice open a few guts with it."

_**"NO!" **_cried Marshall Lee.

Heather turned in Fionna's direction, her face blank. She raised her hand, which turned as black as night and grew out like talons. At first, Fionna thought that she was about to attack her once more. But Heather's hand shot to the door, which was right at Fionna's side. Her talons sunk into the wood like nails, and soon the door was ripped off its hinges. With a swipe of her hand, Heather threw the door flat in Fionna's face. With a dry-throated cry of surprise, Fionna stumbled backward. Giggling like a chirping hummingbird, Heather flew off into the cool night.

Fionna threw the door off of her. She span to Marshall Lee and coughed out, "We unleashed evil unto Aaa! We have to go and stop her!"

"Fine..." sighed Marshall Lee, already drifting through the doorway into the calm starlight. His skin glowed brighter, his eyes like glowing marbles. "But I'm only doing it for my bass."

* * *

><p>It was once again a nice night in Aaa. The air was a nice cool, which was a good change against the hot sun. Stars peppered the indigo skies like Christmas lights. The clouds resembled puffy grey cotton. The moon was a crescent, smiling down at them. Marshall Lee had Fionna by the shoulders, both of them floating over the landscape. The trees were like black cones, the grass like pale fabric. The mountains in the distance were grey buildings against the sky.<p>

"Hey, how do I kill this gal anyway?" Fionna called up to Marshall Lee against the rushing wind. She had taken a drink of water from her cantene, so she could speak, properly hydrated.

"Fionna!" Marshall Lee sounded shocked. "You can't kill my mom!"

"Oh!" Fionna would have jump, had her shoulders not been restrained. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"No." Marshall Lee shook his head. "You literally can't kill my mom. She's deathless."

"Oh..." Fionna frowned to herself. This was a problem. But surely Heather had a weakness? Everyone had a weakness. Even Lilly had a weakness, but it wasn't like Fionna knew what it was.

The dust bunnies giggled and laughed as they danced and played in the field. No one could ever tell why they always danced around in the middle of nowhere at this time of night, they just always felt like it. Some were throwing balls around, others were blowing bubbles with heir paws, some were just prouncing around.

One bunny missed the ball when it was thrown to her. "I'll get it!" She pounced off a good distance away from the other bunnies to where the ball lay. She caught it with her paws. But then she noticed a strange tower overshadowing her. She looked up in confusion. "Who the dust are you?"

"Uh..." Heather paused, the Morning Star still hidden behind her back. She plastered on a smile. "Well, I'm NOT the gal who's about to suck your soul out of her body."

"Oh, good." The small dust bunny breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. "That's like my number-one fear. I've got so many fears."

"Really?" Heather floated in a circle to the opposite side of the dust bunny. She looked sympathetic as she stared at her, but she was really just observing her next meal. "Because I have a little..._exercise _for that. Would you like to try it?"

"That sounds great!" squealed the small dust bunny. "Lay it on me!"

"First, close your eyes." Heather cooed to the dust bunny.

"Okie-dokie." The dust bunny's eyes shut instantly.

Heather took out the Morning Star. But instead of slicing the small bunny with it, she simply pointed out the stick of it. Then she brought the heavy stick down on the small bunny's head, right between the ears.

The small dust bunny cried out in pain and surprise. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!"

"Ah, _yes_." Heather emphasized. "But I _didn't. _And now, having this new-death experience, aren't you just happy to be alive?" She had the Morning Star on her shoulders, her hands on either end.

"I...suppose. So?"

"So," Heather's face was like a mask, unreadable, but etched with emotion. "This next part will be all the more horrifying."

And then, her mouth opened to the size of a basketball, her fangs the size of golf balls...

* * *

><p>Fionna scanned the land below with her eyes. She had been for the past ten minutes, and she was growing bored. There were absolutely no signs of Heather. Grass, trees, dirt, pond, more grass, hay field, dust bunnies...<p>

"Marshall Lee!" called Fionna. "Right below us! It's a bunch of dust bunnies! Or a colony...or a clan...? Whatever. Mayhaps they've seen your mom! MARSHALL LEE, RELEASE THE FI-BOMB!"

"REALEASING THE FI-BOMB!" Marshall Lee let go of her shoulders.

Fionna flew through the air, the wind whistling in her ears. She held her arms straight in front of her, as if she were about to dive into water. She spread her arms eagle-wise just a foot above the ground-

But she didn't collide. Marshall Lee grabbed her by her foot and had her hovering just above the grass.

"YO BUNNIES!" Fionna called out, jumping up to her feet. "YOU GUYS SEEN AN EVIL GAL AROUND HERE ANYWHERE?" When no one answered, Fionna looked at them more closely. They were ball, and trembling, and wide-eyed. "They look terrified."

"Yeah," Marshall Lee looked around curiously, until his eyes fell on something. "But not of my Mom. They're terrified of HER."

He jabbed his thumb in the opposite direction. Fionna turned. Another dust bunny stood on top of the hill, her back to them. All of the other bunnies were staring at her. Fionna couldn't see her face.

The bunny turned.

Instead of cute little, button-like eyes, the bunny's eyes were like a skull's sunken in and empty. There was a ball in her bony paws, which rolled down the hill slowly from her grasp. Her fur was scruffy and rough instead of soft. Her teeth were like tiny needles. She looked like a skeleton.

Marshall Lee picked the bunny up from the ground. He observed her closely, like she was a project or an experiment subject. "My Mom's been here." Marshall Lee let go of the dust bunny, but instead of falling to the ground harshly, the dust bunny simply floated in midair, moaning and trembling like a puppet dangling by its strings. "Come on." said Marshall Lee, already walking away. "Let's go."

"No!" Fionna ran up to the dust bunny, and Marshall Lee stopped in his tracks. "We've got to help this gal." Fionna shrugged off her backpack. "I've got some soul food that Cake made for me. Let's see..." she began to shuffle through her pack, taking out small plastic containers filled with warmed food. "I've got mac and cheese...frenchy fries...I know! I've got fish fingers!"

She popped off the lid, and small ribbons of warm steam whisked through the air. Fionna picked out a fish finger, which was hot, but didn't burn her fingers all that much, and blew on it. She tried to jab it into the dust bunny's mouth, but it was as effective as trying to push a pillow through a brick wall. She frowned.

"Look," Marshall Lee put a hand on Fionna's shoulder, catching her attention. "If you wanna help her, you need to help ME get my bass back."

Fionna dropped the warm fish finger to the ground as she turned to him. "How will that help-?"

_**"MY MOM STOLE MY BASS GUITAR, FIONNA!" **_Marshall Lee's eyes went crimson, his fangs razored, and his hair flying about. "And when I get it back, I am going to chop her head off! And punch her back into the Twilosphere."

Fionna smiled. She liked this kind of Marshall Lee, the determined, never-give-up kind, just like her. She felt something fuzzy nudge her elbow. She looked down to see the dust bunny bouncing against her, like a balloon bouncing against an obstacle.

"Yeah, OK." shrugged Fionna. "But then we'll get all of those souls back to their bods, right, Marshall Lee?"

Marshall Lee tossed his head to the side, sweeping the bangs from his vision. "Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever." He floated back over to the dust bunny and took its head in his hands roughly. "Where did my Mom go?"

The dust bunny rose a trembling paw in the opposite direction. Marshall Lee turned in the direction and beamed. "She's heading for Blue Clay Canyon! Perfect! When she's done sucking up at the mountain muderers' souls, I'll ambush her!"

Marshall Lee groaned and shot up in the air. His clothes ripped, his skin turned to fur, and his eyes came to slits. Wings tore form his back. "GRAB ON!"

* * *

><p>"So then, I popped off her head like a cork off of a bottle! And then I says, <em>That's what I think about the space-time-continueum!"<em>

The Roughhousing Women at the table laughed loudly, banging the tables and grabbing their sides. It was nighttime in their village, the moon brightly above. The stars gleamed, and the air was crisp. The air still smelled like Maple Sap drinks, sweat, and oak. The table was covered in small droplets of Sap. Bones littered the grass, and daggers spiked up from the Earth at random. The animal-hide tents were empty, what with everyone being outside.

There was a sudden noise, similar to a vacuum sucking harshly. The Roughhousing Women ceased their laughter and looked down at the end of the table in curiosity.

The woman at the end of the table, Mudpie, was laughing, but it sounded odd, like a mockingbird's caw. There was something wrong, though. Her eyes were nothing but white, no irises or pupils or anything. She continued to laugh, but her mouth did not move and inch, it just stayed in a wicked smile. She looked like an odd doll. "That was hilarious!"

Then, her eyes closed and her body went limp. She was thrown to the side like a rag doll, and was replaced with an unfamiliar, pale woman with a black bun.

"You know what else is evil?" Heather hopped onto the table, as if she were bouncing on the air. "A gal in a dark suit and cat-like eyes is about to suck out all of your souls."

_**"YO DADDY!"**_

Heather raised a questioning eyebrow at the Woman who had yelled out at random. Then she smiled, her fangs growing out like a flower blossoming. "Yes. I'm your daddy."

And then her mouth opened like a tunnel, and a pale gold vapor was seeping through her fangs...

* * *

><p>"Blue Clay Canyon." Marshall Lee verified as they landed on the ground. "If my Mom wants to get to the Mountains, she'll have to go through here."<p>

Fionna looked down. Blue Clay Canyon looked bluer in the moonlight. It was no mystery why it was called 'Blue Clay': The Earth all around it was navy blue and stuck to your hands like potter's clay. There wasn't much water in it, only about a foot or so. The water twinkled like magic in the moonlight. Blue Clay Canyon was dotted with odd, Tiki-like statues showing expressions of all kind. No one knew exactly how they got there, but Prince Gumball had told Fionna that long ago, people called 'Indians' left the statues there. The Canyon stretched twenty feet below them.

"We can work together!" Fionna fist-pumped. "We can crush her with that boulder!" She pointed over to a clay boulder, bathed in the moonlight, just by the Canyon's edge. "And once she's pancaked, all of the souls will go back to their bods!"

There was a whistling noise. Fionna and Marshall Lee looked down in the Canyon. Heather was sloshing through the water, the water splashing against her boots. She was humming and whistling. She had the Morning Star bass slung across her shoulders as she sang.

_"Stompin' on tadpoles_

_Sucking their souls_

_Stompin' on tadpoles_

_Souls, souls, souls."_

Tiny whisps of vapor slithered into her mouth. She swallowed like she was eating a nice meal.

Fionna ran over to the boulder and pushed. But it was like pushing a brick wall. She pushed as hard as she could until her muscles strained. "Marshall Lee, help me out."

But there was no aid. Confused, Fionna looked around. But then she looked down in the Canyon.

Snarling, Marshall Lee pounced for his mother. But, unfortunately, she caught him in a nick of time. She brandished the Morning Star, pulling it out of Marshall Lee's way. Marshall Lee splashed into the water, his clothes soaked through in seconds.

"So." Heather supported the Morning Star on her shoulder. "Taking a swing at your ma, eh?"

Marshall Lee pounced for her again. Like a bull tamer, she pulled the Morning Star out of his way, sending him smashing into the wall. Chunks of rock splashed into the water.

"MOM!" Marshall Lee flew onto her shoulders, grabbing her neck and was about to snap it like a toothpic-

"KARATE CHOP!" Heather flattened her hand and sent her son flying with one blow. Once again, Marshall Lee splashed into the water, landing on his back. He propped himself on his elbows and hissed venomously.

Fionna flailed her arms as if her life depended on it. "MARSHALL LEE! KEEP HER RIGHT THERE!"

Fionna reared back like a bull and went lunging forward. Her head hit the boulder like a brick hitting cement. She cried out at the wave-no tsunami of pain that flooded through her head, down her spin, and to her ankles.

However, the vampire family's fight differed. Heather and Marshall Lee both pulled on the bass with all their might. Marshall Lee pulled as hard as he could and managed to drag Heather forward a few feet, but out of the path of the boulder. The boulder landed in the water, sending water flying out like rain.

"KARATE KICK!" Heather kicked her son at the collarbone, sending him stumbling back a few feet, and losing his grip on the bass. She smirked as her son hissed at her.

Heather's smirk widened, her eyes narrowed. "You can't kill ME!"

Marshall Lee silenced mid-hiss. His eyes went back to normal, his fangs shrinking back in. "W-What? No. I don't wanna kill you, I-" Realizing how emotional he was getting, he frowned again, his face somehow flushing red with anger. "JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!" He flew up the side of the canyon.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALIVE!"

Marshall Lee floated down, sitting on the edge of the canyon as his mother dashed away. He sighed as he stared after her.

He felt movement. He turned and jumped when he saw Fionna's angry glare mere inches from his face.

"WHAT THE FLUFFS, DUDE? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISTRACT HER SO I COULD KILL HER AND RELEASE ALL OF THE SOULS BACK!"

"I just want my mom to care about me..."

Fionna wished she could take back what she said.

* * *

><p>"With all of history's most dastardly beasts, you are the most evil thing I have encountered." Heather awed. "Offer your soul to me, and we shall rule together in the Twilosphere."<p>

Gunta's flippers flapped angrily at her sides. "Morp morp morp!"

"NO! You can't have MY soul! I don't even have-!" Heather took a deep breath. "Just hold still." Her mouth opened like a tunnel, sucking in a deep breeze-

Gunta jumped up and slapped her flipper roughly across the vampire's face.

Heather angrily shot her foot at her, sending the young penguin flying. "KEEP YOUR CRUMMY SOUL!"

Gunta went flying through the air, flippers flailing, tears gushing out of her eyes and-

Something caught her by the head.

"Gunta." Ice Queen glowered at the little seal. "Who told you you could fly?"

Gunta pointed out a flipper. "Morp."

Ice Queen looked up just in time to see the last whips of vapor enter Heather's mouth as the little seal felt lifeless on the snowy, icy ground.

Fury bubbled up in the Ice Queen. "NO ONE CAN SUCK THE LIFE FROM MY SEALS EXCEPT ME! And maybe orca. But that's just nature, Gunta."

Ice Queen set down the little creature and flew over to Heather, whose back was turned to her. "You dare enter my domain? YOU DONE DID IT NOW!" She smirked when she noticed Heather was trembling and her hands glowed with power. "YOU RAISED BY EVIL DANDER. FOR THAT, YOU WILL-"

Heather turned to her, her face nothing but blood, black tentacles, screams, snakes, and horror.

Ice Queen froze like a statue. She held up her arm, smiling nervously. "OK, OK. It's cool. B-But I must now return to my icy fortress...for I have soiled my gown...Completely by choice!"

Heather stared after her as she flew away. Smirking, she turned to the rest of the seals. She bared her teeth and took a deep breath, the sugary-sweet vapor of souls slithering down her throat. The seal's lifeless bodies were everywhere.

Heather chuckled. Her body was trembling with growing power. "My souls sacs are burgeoning...YES!"

* * *

><p>Fionna and Marshall Lee flewran after Heather. The tracks took them to the Ice Kingdom, where they found nothing but seal corpses. Then they heard a disaster happening in the hills far away. They flew form there until they were at the scene.

Fionna groaned. "Now she's getting all huge!"

It was true. The power from the souls she had taken was causing Heather to grow and grow, until she was the size of a building, tall enough to touch the birds. She sucked in the vapor, and the birds fell to the grass limply. Fionna and Marshall Lee stared in horror. Heather continued to suck in random vapors, and there were cries from innocents far away as their life flew out of them.

"I'm gonna take her down." said Fionna, her eyes narrowed.

"Come on, Fionna." Marshall Lee rolled his eyes. "You're like an ant to her."

"Oh yeah? Well this ant is about to get in her pants!"

Marshall Lee smirked in confusion. "What?"

Fionna went pink. "Uh...erm...y...you know what I mean!" She brandished her ruby sword, which gleamed in the moonlight. "I'M GONNA GO FREE SOME SOULS."

"Fionna, you know she may kill you?" Marshall Lee's eyebrows wrinkled at her.

_**"I KNOW EVERYTHING!" **_With a war cry, Fionna jumped into action.

She ran to Heather's left boot. Climbing on top, she sunk her sword into the red leather for support. She stuck her sword in and ou, climbing and climbing, until she got to her skirt. Then she climbed to her shirt. And then to her collar. Heather seemed not to notice the sword sticking into her flesh. "GIVE UP THOSE SOULS, EVIL QUEEN! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!"

"Huh?" Heather's mouth closed and she looked down at Fionna. She was about to say something, but then her eyes wandered past the human girl. "So, Marshall Lee, still following me?"

_**"I'LL STOP FOLLOWING YOU IF YOU JUST GIVE ME MY BASS BACK!"**_

Heather felt Fionna climb onto her shoulder. Rolling her eyes, she flicked the human girl off like a bug. "Now Marshall Lee..."

As Fionna soared through the air, she twisted her body around. She raised her ruby sword over her head. Then, she came soaring back down to Heather. "NO ONE FLICKS ME IN THE BOTTOM!"

The sword sunk into Heather's forehead. "WITHOUT MY CONSENT!"

Heather smiled wickedly.

"Uh..." Fionna became nervous, realizing what a mistake she had made.

Heather's mouth grew to the size of a bus as she cackled. Her throat was like a tunnel, her fangs as large as beachballs. Row after row of fangs, like a shark. Her tongue was like a wicked basilisk. And then something was crawling from her throat. Gooey, black arms stuck to the walls of her mouth, on her tongue and fangs. It rose from the throat, its eyes a wicked lemon color and its mouth like a wicked cut in flesh.

Fionna screamed in terror. She lost her left hand's grip on the sword.

Soon, Heather's usual cat-eyes, black-haired head was nothing but a array of horror. Her head was now a black brain, with red devil horns the size of cars. Her eyes were a wicked lemon color, her mouth a parallel cut as long as a bus, with fangs the size of dogs and the tongue as sharp as a sword. Under her mouth, vocal chords, tentacle-like and a sickly purple, wriggled. Red and black tentacles sprung from her neck. On either side of her neck, two bulging, house-sized sacs were pulsing.

Fionna lost her right hand's grip on the sword as well. Before she could tumble to her death, she caught hold of one of the dangling vocal chords, which felt slimy and weird. Heather thrashed left to right, trying to shake her off. Fionna looked closer at the sacs. They were pulsing, and she could see faces screaming and sobbing.

"The souls!" Fionna looked up. "Lumpy Space Prince! SHE GOT YOUR SOUL TOO?"

"What? Naw." LSP crossed his arms. "I saw Corndog Prince get sucked in here. And I didn't. So I was all, _What the lump? _So I sneaked in. This party can't even handle me right now."

"Uh...I'll...save you...? I'LL SAVE ALL OF YOU! I just need my sword." Fionna began to climb up the chords like vines.

"Bring me some punch, will ya?"

Fionna looked up as soon as she was on Heather's cheek. Her ruby sword, gleaming in the light, was stuck in Heather's scalp. Fionna gave a determined grunt and continued to climb. Soon, she was able to stand. She stepped over to the sword and pulled on it, Sword-in-the-Stone style.

It let go, and she held it in the air. Fionna angrily brought the sword down.

It hit matter.

Confused, Fionna opened her eyes. The sword was pushed up against something red and metal.

"FIONNA!" screamed Marshall Lee from the ground. "BE CAREFUL WITH MY BASS!"

Fionna pushed the Morning Star away with her sword. It lunged for her, but she shielded herself with the sword. Then, the Morning Star dove below her. Before she could jump, it blew under her Mary Janes, sending her flying forward. Her face met the slimy brain of Heather's head. She began to slide over the slimy surface. As she tumbled through the air, she caught on to a tentacle, her sword firmly in hand. Heather tried to swing the Morning Star at her, but the tentacle that Fionna was holding onto was the same tentacle the Morning Star was grasped in.

Fionna brought down the sword. The blade split through the tentacle like a knife cutting through Jell-O.

Heather shrieked, like a wounded whale. Fionna let out a victory cry as she fell through the air. Then the cry turned from victory to fear as she spiraled towards the ground. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the Morning Star falling with her.

Marshall Lee started in shock. He flew up to the human girl.

Fionna hit the Earth like a rock.

Marshall Lee had gone for the Morning Star.

"Ow..." groaned Fionna. Her face was badly bruised, along with the red welt she still had from the boulder. Her arm had a long red cut going down. Her knee was throbbing, and the grass blades prodded her wounds as the pebbles sank into the bloody flesh.

Marshall Lee held up the bass like a trophy. "IN YOUR FACE, MOM!"

Heather growled. "GIVE ME BACK THAT MORNING STAR, MARSHALL LEE!" As she yelled, her severed tentacle grew back to a accusingly pointing finger. "IT'S THE FAMILY MORNING STAR **AND YOU DON'T RESPECT IT ENOUGH!**"

"YOU DON'T RESPECT _ANYTHING!_" Marshall Lee yelled back. He acidly added, _**"MOM!"**_

With a huff, he floated past Fionna. He looked up and down at her apologetically, he felt guilty for her wounds, but then his eyes narrowed and he simply stared ahead of him. "I'm outta here."

Fionna's eyes widened. "But-!"

"FINE! GO!" Heather screamed after him, her voice like a helicopter's buzz. "I'M TOO BUSY TAKING SOULS TO DEAL WITH YOU!"

Heather's back turned to her son. Vapor flew through the sky into her throat like airplanes.

"NO WAIT!" Fionna span around to the retreating vampire. _**"MARSHALL LEE! KEEP TALKING TO HER SO SHE STOPS SUCKING IN SOULS!"**_

Marshall Lee glanced back at her acidly. "I _said, _I'm out of here."

Fionna thought as hard as she could. "Diversion! Diversion!"

A thought went off like a firework.

Oh Glob, Marshall Lee was going to kill her...so be it.

She took out the tape recorder and blasted it to full volume. She held it high above her head and pressed play.

_"Mommy_

_Why did you eat my pie?_

_I bought it_

_It was mine._

_But you ate it_

_Yeah, you ate my pie_

_And I cried_

_But you didn't see me cry."_

Heather and Marshall Lee froze in their tracks. Heather looked behind her at her son. Marshall Lee went pink.

_Mommy_

_Do you even love me?_

_Well I wish you'd show it._

_Because I wouldn't know it._

_What kinda mom eats_

_Her own son's pie?_

_Doesn't even look him in the eyes._

_Mommy there were tears there_

_If you saw them would you even care?"_

There was a tentative silence.

"Oh my Glob." LSP gawked from inside Heather. "DRAMA BOMB!"

Heather turned around completely to face her son, who had went red all over. "Marshie...Do you really feel that way?"

"Mom..." Marshall Lee turned around, most of the red draiend away. "I..."

"Marshie, of _course _I love you."

"Mom..."

"I'm sorry I ate your pie. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's OK, Mom, really."

"No, it's not OK. It wasn't even all that good. It was actually really cold. I love you, Marshie. Don't ever doubt that."

Marshall Lee smiled. "I love you too, Mom."

"Oh, Marshie." A happy tear the size of a small bear rolled down Heather's slimy face. "I'm so hap-"

_**"DIE!"**_

Fionna sunk her sword just below Heather's bottom lip. Heather shrieked like a banshee. Yes, while Marshall Lee and his mother were having a moment, she had crept away for a sneak attack. Fionna slid down her face to her sacs. Her sword tore through the skin like paper. Vapor filled the air like smoke from a wildfire.

Heather screamed as the souls retreated. Her power was draining like air from a balloon.

Fionna had already drawn a Peg Face into the grass. She tossed her sword to the side and ripped open her backpack, taking out some beetle juice. She tore off the top and threw it over the Peg Face, where it sunk into the soil. The Peg Face glowed like ember. _**"**_قد الشر توجيه روحك_**"**_

The Earth split violently. Below, the soil had turned to bloody clouds, the lightning blood red. Heather shrieked louder as she felt her skin slip off of her. Her eyes fell off, her vocal chords fell like noodles, her tongue fell into the abyss. Her teeth fell through the air like arrows. Her clothes went to smoke. Her nerves spiraled down. Her innards plummeted into the dark void. And finally, her bones collapsed.

And then the Earth sealed itself.

Fionna's eyes narrowed. _"See you in the Twilosphere, you sick freak."_

_**"FIONNA! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!"**_

Fionna froze and turned around to see Marshall Lee fuming red.

She smiled. "How could I-SAVE THE DAY?!"

"HOW COULD YOU EMBARASS ME LIKE THAT AND THEN BANISH MY MOM BACK TO THE TWILOSPHERE?!"

"How could I embarass you like that and then banish your mom back to the Twilosphere-AND SAVE THE DAY?"

Marshall Lee swung his Morning Star at her, but she ducked out of the way. Fionna grew annoyed. "Why are you angry at me? You promised that you were going to help me save the souls. AND ALL YOU DID WAS WALK AWAY! _WHAT THE FLUFF, MAN?_"

Marshall Lee sighed. "Yeah, your right. Sorry."

"Apology accepted.

"I'm glad she's back in the twilosphere. That was way too emotionally exhausting."

"And exhausting emotionally. Or...wait...I mean, physically."

Fionna took a deep breath and plopped herself on her back. The grass blades tickled her skin. Marshall Lee stared at her a moment, but then plopped down next to her with a shrug. They stared at the sky. The stars were gleaming like brilliant lights, the souls that had been rescued were swimming around, bumping into one another recklessly.

"Hey, Fionna," said Marshall Lee, "I forgot to ask you."

Fionna turned to the teenage vampire. "Yeah?"

Marshall Lee pointed at her chest. "What's up with that pocket on your shirt?"

"Huh?" Fionna looked down at the stitched-in fabric. "Oh. Cake's in here." She opened the pocket, revealing the small white and coffee cat. "Sup, Cake?"

Cake burped.

TRIVIA

It is revealed in this episode that Marshall Lee's Mom is immortal, and most likely can't be killed, when Marshall Lee said she's deathless.

Marshall Lee's mother's name is Heather Adageer, but her name is never said in this episode.

This is the first episode where Cake only receives a minor cameo and has no lines.

The incantation to open the Twilosphere's portal is قد الشر توجيه روحك, which means "Evil direction your soul."

CULTURAL REFERENCES

The title card resembles a famous scene from the movie E.T the Extra-Terrestrial


	28. The Eyes

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake whimper as the Eyes stare down at them, seeking into their souls..._

Fionna yawned so loudly that her jaw ached. Her legs felt like rubber against the wood of the Treehouse. She shrugged off her green backpack and let it fall to the floor. She collapsed roughly on the couch, the fabric of the cushions soft against her limbs. "Why am I SO tired?" She groaned.

"Fifi, we've been up for like, seven days." Cake reached into the little fridge, sending ribbons of icy air all around. She took out a pomegranate and split it in half with her claws. She took both halves and pressed her thumbs together in each of them, sending ever single seed cleanly into the bowl somehow.

"For realies?" Fionna murmured. Her throat felt like dust.

"Yeah, for realies." Cake took a moment to bury her face in the bowl, gobbling and slurping at the pomegranate seeds. Her face came back, stained a wine red color, the liquid hitting the floor in droplets. "Remember?

* * *

><p><strong>First we saved Slime Prince from that shipwreck vortex.<strong>

The human girl, the cat, and the slimy blob whimpered as they floated about the vortex's gravity. Fionna had her hand strapped to the barnacle-covered anchor of a dripping wet, wooden ship. Cake had her right paw on her leg, all of her legs being twisted and curved by the gravity. Her other paw had Slime Prince's gooey hand.

**Then we slayed that Fire Basilisk.**

The Fire Basilisk glowered down at the elf woman and her small daughter. It drew in a deep breath, flames flickering at the back of its throat like candles. Then it stopped, as if frozen. It fell to the ground with a loud crash, narrowly missing the woman and her daughter. Fionna removed her ruby sword from the back of the Basilisk's throat, smiling as Cake stretched next to her. The woman and her daughter cheered.

**And that took a couple of days...**

**Then we went to LSP's **_**Aniversari**_

Fionna and Cake danced happily as the song 'Call Me Lumpy' came on through the stereo sets. Cake had fastened a glittery purple collar around her neck, with veil that went shimmering down her back. She didn't make Fionna wear a dress, but Fionna was wearing a purple T-shirt, indigo shorts, and purple sneakers. LSP danced over to them, wearing a violet tuxedo with a purple bow tie. "Aw, no way, you gals made it!"

**We helped Peppermint Maid with her Gargoyle problem **

Fionna and Cake stood alongside Peppermint Maid on the hill. The grass tickled their ankles and the breeze ruffled their hair and clothes. In front of them, a gargoyle was out cold in a puddle of oil. The black liquid had neon rainbows swimming about. The gargoyle's hard skin was splashed with it, the wet areas darker than the dry pale ones.

"I swear I found her like this." Peppermint Maid rung her tiny hands nervously. Sweat was trickling down her round sides. "I have no idea what happened.

Fionna gave an assuring nod to the minty maid. "We'll take care of it, Peppermint Maid."

**Then we rescued Wildberry Prince from the Ice Queen.**

Ice Queen and Wildberry Prince sat in the field. The picnic blanket was crisp beneath them and the air was warm. Two plates of watermelon slices lay in front of them, along with two glasses of apple juice. Ice Queen looked happy, her white hair swirling around her, her cobalt gown fluttering in the nice breeze. However, Wildberry Prince looked frightened, as beads of sweat were trickling down his berries and he was fidgeting so much.

There was a booming roar. Ice Queen and Wildberry Prince span around sharply to see a fifteen-foot-tall Cake, her teeth bared, and an angry Fionna, who was standing between Cake's furry ears. Cake stretched her wide paw over and swatted Ice Queen like a bug, sending her five feet away. Fionna happily hopped off of the cat and grabbed Wildberry Prince's hand. The three of them ran off into the distance, with Ice Queen angrily screaming, "WE WERE JUST HAVING A PICNIC!"

**Then we captured the forest from that tree troll.**

Fionna and Cake ran through the forest, their shoes and paws plopping against the soft grass. Cake had her arm twisted around the tree troll like a rope. They dragged her to the forest village, where the insects and animals alike all cheered and clapped.

**Then we saved that lighthouse from that tsunami.**

Cake, over twenty feet high, wrapped herself in a cylinder around the lighthouse. The tsunami came, and the salty water drenched her fur. She held her breath until the tsunami passed. Inside the 'cylinder,' just inside the house, the old woman who lived in the light house smiled.

"Thank-" She turned to thank Fionna, only to see her running and screaming from the spraying sea water.

**Then we fed those birds.**

Fionna and Cake waited silently for the birds to finish pecking up the seeds. The birds finished and tweeted for more, by which Cake responded by reaching into the paper bag and spreading out more seeds.

* * *

><p>"We haven't slept for a whole week."<p>

Fionna, whilst listening to Cake retell the story, had slipped into her pajamas and was now sitting on her bed. She wanted to go to sleep right then and there. Her bones felt like jelly. "I'm exhausted. But happy." She let out another jaw-aching yawn.

Cake chuckled and rubbed the rag over her face one last time, the water soaking up the staining juice. After her face was all clean, she climbed into her drawer-made bed. "Goodnight, girl."

"Goodnight!" beamed Fionna, climbing into her felt sleeping bag, ready to drift into a nice sleep. The felt was warm around her exhausted body. She let her eyelids covered her eyes heavily. "That's right, Fionna." She murmured. "Adventure till you drop."

And then she drifted into a beautiful sleep.

THE END

No way.

Fionna tossed and turned in her sleeping bag. It wasn't hot. The bed was comfortable. But it felt like bugs were creeping along her skin, even though nothing was there.

Finally, she gave in and sat straight up. "Cake?"

The cat peeped her head over the edge of the drawer, her blanket tight around her body. "Yeah?"

"Can you sleep."

Cake's furry forehead crinkled, and her muzzle frowned deeply as she shrugged off the blanket. "No."

"Neither can I." Fionna crawled out of the sleeping bag heavily and sat at the foot of her bed, hands pressed to the fur hides, the soft fur tickling her fingertips.

"What's up with that?" the cat hopped out of her small bed and stepped over some roots to her sister.

"I have no idea." Fionna shook her head, the small piece of blond hair falling out of her hat moving back and forth. "But I have the strangest feeling. Like we're being watched..."

Fionna's green eyes wandered around the room, to the Enchiridion on the shelf to the roots on the floor. Then something caught her eye. She and cake turned their attention to the window. Right on the hill, its eyes wide, was a cow. It wasn't a normal cow, either. It had a stubbed tongue poking out, eyes the size of baseballs, and a potato-shaped body, and baseball-bat-like legs. It was a girl, but you could only tell by its grass-like eyelashes. It was staring right at them, and Fionna felt a wave of goosebumps slide over her whole body.

Fionna and Cake stared at it in creeped-out awe.

"Cupcake..." Fionna's emerald eyes began to crinkle as she continued to stare at the cow, and it stared right back. "Why is that cow staring at us?"

"I have no idea, Fifi." Cake shivered, her tail beginning to frizz out in fear, the hairs sticking up at random.

They looked back at the cow and jumped when they saw its eyes had gotten somewhat bigger. Frozen like statues in fear, Fionna and Cake slid out of view from the window.

"That's super creepy," Fionna whispered to her animal sister as she hugged her knees closer to her chest.

"I just wanna go to sleep." The cat whimpered. Her tail was quaking in fear.

"Maybe she's gone." Fionna said to herself and Cake. Cautiously, they both peeked their faces to the window's view about an inch or so. The cow was still there, but looking in the opposite direction. Fionna and Cake sighed in relief.

The cow span around, her eyes wide.

Fionna and Cake gasped and ducked back down, whimpering and panting.

"Fifi, I'm not gonna be able to sleep with that watching me." sighed Cake. "And mama needs her beauty sleep!"

"Let's just close the shade, girl." Fionna reached up and grabbed the shade. She pulled it down and covered any signs of the outside. She smiled. "Outta sight, outta mind. Goodnight."

"See ya in the morning." Cake happily hopped away from the window back into her drawer-bed. Then she cacooned herself in the blanket.

Fionna, beaming ear to ear, climbed back into her warm and fuzzy sleeping bag. She took one last look at the concealed window. Then she smiled wider and laid down, ready for beautiful sleep.

Meanwhile, the moon rose higher outside, behind the waiting cow. The cow's shadow began to creep down the hill. Then it rose up the Treehouse. And then it phased through the shades of the window.

Fionna felt the bugs crawling along her skin again. She opened her emerald eyes, but the shades were still drawn. But still...She looked at the wall.

She screamed shrilly at the horrifying shadow. Freaked out, she dashed to the window and ripped up the shades. The cow was still on the hill, staring widely at her with its black pupils.

Fionna pounded on the glass angrily. "WHY WON'T IT STOP?"

"Alright, Fifi." Cake walked over to her younger sister and put a paw on her shoulder. "Let's just go...tip it over or something."

"No, wait." Fionna frowned, realizing how crazy mad she was getting about it. "Let's politely ask it to leave first."

Cake agreed reluctantly. She wrapped her left arm around Fionna's waist and opened the window with the other. She stretched her furry legs out the window all the way to the hill, a good thirty feet. Soon, they were standing right in front of the cow. Fionna felt awkward, standing in the cool night in only her pajamas and hat.

"HEY GET OUT OF HERE, BESSIE!" screamed Cake from the top of her lungs. "I WANNA SLEEP AND YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT!"

"Let's try diplomat style." Fionna told her, taking the cat by the shoulders. She stepped up next to the cow and in a fancy voice, said, "Pardon me, my dear mare. I beseech for thou to split from mine land this eve. By I invite thee to returneth for luncheon some other day! A'ight?"

The cow said nothing. Its tongue just poked from it lips.

"Forget it, this cow is wonk." frowned Cake. "It got pee brain."

"Alright." sighed Fionna in defeat. "We can tip the cow now."

Fionna pushed at the cow's side. But it was like pushing a brick wall. She pushed harder, only for her muscles to strain. Cake went to the other side and wrapped her arms around the cow, pulling tightly. But soon, they were only sweating and gasping for air.

"Cupcake!" gasped Fionna, her voice like sand. "Are you pulling!"

"Are YOU pushing?"

"BUMPS YEAH I'M PUSHING! THIS COW HAS REDONKULOUS WEIGHT!"

Finally, their muscles seized. The both fell to the grass in exhausted heaps. Fionna's heart was pounding like a gong. "Lump this." She crawled over to the worn-out Cake. "What now, Cupcake?"

"I didn't want to magical-power you, cow." Cake sighed in dismay. "Because I'm as tired as juke. BUT YOU PUSHED CUPCAKE TOO FAR!"

Cake began to grow rapidly. She was soon standing twenty feet tall, and Fionna had to crane her neck to see her. Cake grabbed the cow with her paw. Then she stretched out her arm fifty feet away, about five hills from them. Satisfied, Cake stretched back down to her sister. Smiling, she put her furry arm around Fionna's shoulders and began to walk back to the Treehouse. "Let's go back to bed. We're safe now."

"I am SO ready for sleepy time." Fionna let out a loud yawn. "I love my bed."

"I wanna marry my bed." sighed Cake. "And have little bed babies."

"Me toooo!" Fionna felt the bugs again. She froze like a statue. She span around.

The cow was staring at them. She gasped.

Cake did nothing though. Her eyes just narrowed, her muzzle set into a snarl. "No more." She began to dash down the hill. "NO MORE!"

"Where are you going?" Fionna called after the cat.

**"I HAVE A PLAN!"**

Cake returned a moment later. She had something black in her paws. She ran up to the cow and put it around its eyes. Giggling like crazy, she turned to her sister. "She can't stare if she's blind!"

Fionna looked back up at the cow, expecting triumph. But her facr fell in disappointment, instead. "Cupcake, look." She pointed at the cow.

"What?" Cake turned to the cow and gasped. The cow's eyes were sticking out from under the blindfold like thick snakes. "Wha-? _**WHY? STUPID BLINDFOLD!" **_Cake ripped off the blindfold from the cow's face, not even bothering to untie it. She threw it to her right, where it tumbled down the hill in the breeze until it was out of sight. Cake stormed to the left so that she was eye-to-eye with the cow, her furry legs stretched for height. "What's your deal, doopy? _WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH US? __**HUH?"**_

The cow did not move nor say anything. Her pupils simply widened to the size of softballs. Cake frowned.

"Cupcake." said Fionna, taking her sister's attention. "That cow is whack with pee brain."

"Yeah, I know, Fifi. I diagnosed this cow with pee brain five minutes ago." Cake jabbed her paw at the cow's nose. The cow's eyes focused on Cake's paw, her eyes crossing.

"Pee brain means we can lure this Bessie away with music!" exclaimed Fionna, bubbling over with joy at the thought of sleep. "Everything stupid likes music!"

"That's true! You're a genius!" Cake's fur riffled with excitement. She threw her furry arms out. They stretched like rubber bands down the hill, the grass licking her fur. Her arms stretched through the Treehouse door, over the furniture and into the bedroom. Then she pulled back her arms when she got what she was looking for. Her paws had her hammered dulcimer in them now. Cake set out her stomach in a square shape like a desk. She placed the dulcimer on it and grabbed her hammers. "Alright, Bessie. Prepare for a little..._music therapy."_

She began to strum light, soft notes, long and short and light and heavy. As she alternated, it was obvious she was playing Sunlight Melody by Beathaven. After laying a small bit, she began to walk away. "Follow me, Bessie!" She called as she continued down the hill.

But the cow didn't move an inch.

"CUPCAKE!" called Fionna. "IT'S NOT LURING!"

"Huh?" Cake turned to see the basket-ball sized cow had not moved a muscle. Her eyes narrowed, and she played a sharp note. "So. Beathaven not good enough for ya, huh? Well. Prepare for some...MASSART!"

She began to play _Ein Kleiner Tag Melodie. _The notes were high and mighty. She continued to walk down the grassy hill.

Fionna heard a sort of clicking noise. Confused, she looked down. A large scorpion, a sickly reddish brown color, was creeping up on her, zigzagging right to left in a funny dance. It caught sight of her foot and its barb clicked up. Fionna screamed and picked up her foot. She saw something(s) move at the corner of her eye. She turned to see seven more scorpions zigzagging in her direction. Fionna looked down at Cake, who was playing the song faster.

"CUPCAKE! YOU'RE LURING SCORPIONS!" Fionna dashed down the hill in a panic. The scorpions clicked and crawled after her. She ran to her sister. **"STOP!"**

"What?" Cake turned to the approaching scorpions. However, instead of panicking, she only made a small 'Hm' sound and steadied her dulcimer again. "I'll try to lure a shrew. Or a bat. Do owls eat scorpions?"

"STOP!" Fionna grabbed the dulcimer and threw it and its hammers far away from them. Cake yelped and attempted to run after them, but Fionna held her back.

Cake sighed and turned to her sister. She looked desperate for sleep. "Fifi..."

"..."

_"...Let's kill the cow."_

_**"WHAT?!"**_

"Fifi!" Cake grabbed Fionna's pajama shirt with her paws. "I'm so tired!"

"No!" Fionna plucked Cake's paws from her shirt. "We're not going to slaughter a cow!"

"Ok. We won't slaughter the cow. I know! We'll dress her up like a mouse! Haha! And then we'll get an owl!" She made her paws into a bird-like shape. "Caw! To kill her!"

"Wha-? NO! That's wrong!"

"Oh..." Cake turned in a full circle, as if considering something. "Did I say the owl would kill her? I meant that the owl would gently swoop down and take her away to a land of sunshine and bunnies and take care of her."

"That sounds awesome!"

"Let's do it!"

* * *

><p>"What do you think?" asked Cake.<p>

The cow was now dressed in a pair of moth-eaten mouse ears, with a pink water-hose tail that Cake had made quickly. Fionna shrugged. "Looks like a mouse."

Cake flew her arms around. "OWLS! DOWN HERE! DINNA TIME!" Fionna joined her, dancing and flinging herself around. "DINNER! COME AND GET IT!"

"Cupcake!" Fionna pointed at two silhouettes that were flying through the sky towards them. "I think those are owls!"

"I see em!" Cake beamed brightly at the flapping shapes.

They continued to flail and scream madly to get the owls' attention. Finally, the owls swooped down lower and lower until their claws were settled on the cow's hide.

"Take her away!" cheered Fionna.

The owls did nothing.

Then they began to attack the two girls.

Fionna and Cake screamed. Their sharp beaks pecked red dots on their skin, their claws leaving red lines. Feathers flew madly everywhere. "DON'T EAT US!" screamed Fionna as one owl pecked a hole in her hat. "THE MOUSE!"

Finally, the owls got the message. They looked at one another and cawed in agreement. They planted their claws firmly into the cow and began to flap their wings. Soon, the cow was over five feet from the ground. Then the cow was nothing but a blot in the sky, shrinking and shrinking.

Fionna sighed peacefully. "What a beautiful sight."

The blot disappeared into the starry night. Fionna and Cake high-fived. "WE DID IT! TIME FO SLEEP!"

They ran down the hill like they never had before. They ran all the way down the hill. They ran through the door of the Treehouse. Then they climbed up the ladder madly. Then they ran to their beds.

"Goodnight, Cupcake." sighed Fionna. She felt like she was sleeping on a heavenly cloud, light and plump.

"Goodnight, Fionna." Cake's eyes fluttered shut.

Then they both fell into a nice, peaceful sleep at la-

Something crashed through the roof like a boulder. Leaves and wood were a huge pile in the middle of the room. Dust billowed in all directions. The cool night air filled the room, and the starry night glittered above, the moon crescent and bright. The two girls screamed and looked to see what had awakened them.

The cow was staring at them.

_**"NOW IT'S IN OUR ROOM?!" **_screamed Fionna. She was furious. She was boiling over with rage. All she wanted to do was sleep and she couldn't just because a COW was staring at her. What was the deal?

_**"THAT'S OBVIOUS, FIFI!" **_yelled Cake, throwing her furry arms up. She was so angry, she wanted some sleep, and now there was a cow and her room AND Fionna was being a moron. _**"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM THAT ALOUD!"**_

"This is all YOUR fault!" yelled Fionna accusingly, causing the cat to pull back as if she'd been slapped. "IF YOU WEREN'T SO GORGEOUS, ANIMALS WOULDN'T ALWAYS STARE AT YOU!"

"ME?!" Cake stood from her bed angrily and stretched to Fionna's bed, standing at the foot like a warrior. "YOU'RE JUST MAD AT _ME _FOR BEING-" Cake paused to blush. "Gorgeous? But...YOU'RE the one who told me to lure the scorpions!" Cake let out a angry yell, flailing her arms.

"I TOLD you to lure the COW!" Fionna stood up out of her sleeping bag, causing Cake to step back from her towering height above her. "_YOU _LURED THE SCORPIONS!" Fionna reached into her drawer and took out a pair of her socks, both of which were stuffed with clicking scorpions. "THEY'RE EVEN IN MY SOCKS!" She paused a moment, frozen. Then she sighed and tossed the socks to the other side of the room, where the scorpions clicked away. "Wait a minute. Don't you see what this cow is doing ot us?"

They both turned to look at the cow, which eyes were in opposite directions.

"It's tearing us apart." sighed Fionna sadly.

"Oh, girl, you're right!" exclaimed Cake, her paws above her head. "We have GOT to get rid of this cow. For us." She threw her arms around Fionna's middle tightly, burrowing her face into her pajama-covered stomach.

"I know, sis. I know." Fionna hugged her back tightly.

"Oh, Fifi. This cow...This cow is bringing us together now!" Cake's eyes glimmered like stars. _"This cow is a blessing."_

"Wha-? YOU'VE LOST IT, CUPCAKE. YOU'RE SLEEPY INSANE."

"YOU-" Cake rose a finger accusingly, only to pull it back. "Wait." She threw her arms around Fionna's middle once more. "This cow is tearing us apart again."

Fionna's eyes went hard in realization. "You're right. I need to show this Bessie who's in charge."

Cake looked up at her younger sister, her eyes wide with sadness and desperation. "What are you going to do?"

You could not say a light bulb went off in Fionna's head. A lightning bolt, bright and brilliant, went off. Her eyes went wide, emerald and brilliant, her mouth agape. "Cupcake." Her voice was electrifying with brilliance. "Say that again."

Cake rose a furry eyebrow, but did so. "What are you going to do?"

"Do." Fionna whispered to herself in amazement. "Doo doo..."

She straightened her shoulders and rose her chin high. She walked to the cow's rear-side and positioned herself. "I'm gonna kick this cow in the bottom!"

Cake gasped in amazement. "Oh my Grob..."

Everything went in slow-motion from there.

Fionna brought her foot back and slammed it into the cow's backside. Ripples shimmered up the cow's body, up to her neck. The cow's mouth opened wide, and something came plopping out onto the floor.

Ice Queen was on her stomach on the floor.

Fionna and Cake gasped in horrified unison. _**"Ice Queen?!"**_

There was an awkward, heavy silence. The Ice Queen just stared at them blankly. Fionna and Cake gawked at her in upmost shock, their mouths agape. The shell of the cow was hollow and unmoving.

Ice Queen cleared her throat. "I should go..."

Fionna's hands went to her hips furiously. "YOU WERE SPYING ON US?"

Ice Queen's eyes narrowed. She picked herself up and brushed away the dust on her cobalt gown. "That's none of your beeswax."

"She was trying to learn out bedtime secrets!" exclaimed Cake.

Fionna turned to the Ice Queen. "Were you?"

Ice Queen seemed not to hear either of them. Humming 'The Tiny Whiny Beetle' to herself, she reached into the cow's ear. She plucked out something. The shell of the cow deflated, the air hissing out. It crumpled to the ground like a empty balloon.

"She WAS!" yelled Cake, rage bubbling in her insides.

Ice Queen continued to hum. She grabbed the cow's front 'corners' and brought them to the back corners.

"It's none of your business that I wear pull-ups to bed, Ice Queen!" yelled Cake furiously. "NONE of your business!"

Ice Queen tossed the shell of the cow over her shoulder like a blanket. She nodded at the two girls as she went over to the ladder. "Ladies." She descended down the ladder.

Fionna and Cake exchanged angry looks.

Ice Queen stepped out of the Treehouse, whistling. The sun was bright on the horizon, gold and ready to rise for the day. The owls and other nocturnal creatures began to rest. The bees began to buzz, the butterflies awoke. She sighed.

She felt something sharp hit her spin. She gasped in shock, and toppled over. She turned and hissed and saw an angry Fionna glowering at her.

Cake stepped out of the Treehouse, Fionna's ruby sword in hand. The ruby was fiery red in the golden sun. "Here's your sword, Fifi."

Fionna took it. It felt cold. "Thank you." She charged at the Ice Queen, the sword above her head. "RAH!"

Ice Queen's hands glowed. She began throwing frozen bolts at the approaching girl like bullets. Fionna flinged and thrashed her sword, using it to shield herself. Fionna tried to impale her, only for Ice Queen to dodge it and zap her spine. Chills like icicles dashed through her veins. She positioned her sword again, only for Ice Queen to punch it out of her hands.

The sword hissed through the air. Fionna turned and gasped. "CUPCAKE!"

Cake was snoring as she was pressed against the Treehouse's bark. Fionna's scream awakened her. Her eyelids flew open. She saw the ruby sword hissing in her direction. She gasped and stretched her legs in seconds, sailing ten feet in the air as the ruby sword impaled the bark of the Treehouse. She shook her head. She had to focus. She curled into a ball position, like she was about to fall into a mass of water. She went down on the sword. The sword beant beneath her. She sprang at Ice Queen, her foot ready for a heavy kick.

"NO!" yelled Ice Queen. She picked Fionna up by her wrists and span around, letting go of Fionna like a hammer-throw.

Fionna and Cake collided. Fionna's head hit Cake's knee, Cake's foot going into her stomach. Fionna's foot hit Cake's muzzle. They landed on the ground. Fionna felt something crawling on her. She opened her eyes to see that the scorpions from the previous night were still on the hill, clicking and poised. "Cupcake!"

"Throw them at Ice Queen!" yelled Cake.

They began to throw the scorpions at Ice Queen like snowballs. They were careful. They grabbed the scorpions by their stomachs and then hurtled them. But the scorpions merel hit Ice Queen like tiny pebbles.

Ice Queen closed her eyes and held out her arms like a bird ready to take flight. Something encircled her. It looked like a bubble, sphere-shaped and clear, but it looked to be made out of icy vapor. She began to lift into the air without using her flying ability. The wind went crazy. It blew like a hurricane was thrashing, icy and dangerous.

Fionna turned to Cake and screamed over the hiss of the wind. "WHAT'S SHE DOING?"

"SHE'S USING HER ICE POWERS!" yelled Cake in reply.

Inside the Treehouse, the freezer flew open. The ice pack ripped open, unleashing the eight ice cubes inside. They flew out the door. Fionna and Cake flinched as the ice cubes hit their bodies, but it didn't hurt, really. It only felt like acorns hitting their bodies. Fionna and Cake turned to the Ice Queen.

She was frozen. "That's all the ice you have?"

"YEAH!" Fionna delivered a hard kick to Ice Queen's cheek, knocking off her tiara.

"Well you should really have...MORE!" Ice Queen punched her in the gut.

"We don't need any MORE!" Fionna punched her face.

"What if you have GUESTS?" Ice Queen took her wrist and flipped her over.

"Guests bring their own ICE!" Fionna grabbed Ice Queen's icy leg and threw her like a rag doll ten feet away.

Ice Queen hit the side of the Treehouse roughly. The sword landed on her stomach lightly. Fionna and Cake ran to either side of the Ice Queen. They took the sword and brought it to her neck, ready to slice.

"TELL US WHY YOU WERE WATCHING US OR WE WELL CUT OFF YOUR IDIOT HEAD!" yelled Fionna, bringing the blade of the sword an inch closer.

"MAKE IT SNAPPY, WE'RE REALLY TIRED!" Cake gripped the sword more firmly.

"OK, OK!" Ice Queen stammered, sweating nervously. "I was watching you...because I want to be happy."

Fionna and Cake lessened their hold on the sword. "Huh?"

"It's true." sighed the Ice Queen sadly. "I wanna be happy like you gals. But I have no idea how to be."

Cake's forehead crinkled. "So you dressed like a cow?"

"Have pity on me."

* * *

><p><strong>I've been so sad and miserable. I cry all the time. But whenever I see you two, you're both so happy.<strong>

_Ice Queen wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked down below at the grassy hills. Fionna and Cake were rolling like penguins down the hills, turning and zigzagging. They were laughing so happily._

_Ice Queen's eyes narrowed. 'They're just rolling like idiots!'_

**So yes, I decided to dress like a cow and spy on you.**

_Ice Queen slipped into the custom-made uniform. It was wide and realistic, and it was nice for her form. She fitted on the head._

* * *

><p>"But I guess I failed." sighed Ice Queen sadly when she was done. "All I observed was you two arguing over how to get rid of me."<p>

She heard something like a snort. Her eyes flew open.

Fionna and Cake were pressed against the soft grass, snoring loudly. They were smiling. And their heads were ON the Ice Queen's LAP. It was weird to see them like that, happily sleeping like small infants.

Annoyed, Ice Queen shook them. "Are you two SLEEPING?" She gasped with realization. "Is THIS it? Sleeping? All I need is a good night's rest?"

Beaming, she pulled Fionna and Cake closer. They did not mind. Ice Queen closed her eyes and sighed.

"...I'm still not happy."

TRIVIA

It is revealed that Cake wears pull-ups when she goes to sleep.


	29. Loyalty to the Queen

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

**Loyalty to the Queen**

_Title Card_

_Ice Queen cackles as the Princes of Aaa fawn over her, begging and cheering for her..._

Ice Queen snored loudly as she laid down on her zebra-print bed. Her white hair, over six feet long, webbed her dress and body like a wooly blanket. Her legs were spread eagle, her arms folded beneath her head. The top of her head was bare, the tiara resting on the nightstand next to the bed. Her snores bounced off the icy walls of her chamber.

Cake watched the Ice Queen intently, knowing at any moment she could wake and attack. She already had her paws set into the air, her claws extracted. Her sister was picking the lock on the icy cage, the constant click-clack of the lock mixing with the Ice Queen's snores. Wedding Ring Prince awaited on the other side, his icy fingers clutching the bars. Everything about him was shivering, and his lips were blue. The diamond on his welded-in ring that rested on his head was blanketed with a layer of frost. His short purple hair curled at the ends, frosty and stiff. Even his white tux was covered in frost.

"Save me, Fionna and Cake." He whispered gravelly, but his voice bounced off the walls. Cake shushed him. He had been saying it ever since she and Fionna had came to the castle when they got his distress letter.

Fionna opened the cell door smoothly, careful not to make it creak. Cake took the Prince's icy hand in her paw, leading him out. "Save me, Fionna and Cake."

Cake shushed him again. "We are."

They began to creep towards the window. Fionna brandished her sword and held it out at Ice Queen, as if she thought she was faking her slumber. But the only movement from the Ice Queen was the rise and fall of her chest.

"Save me, Fionna and Cake."

Cake looked past the Prince at her human sister. "Why does he keep saying that?"

"I think he's traumatized." whispered Fionna, her eyes locked on the Ice Queen's form.

"Don't worry, Prince." Cake whispered reassuringly to the royal teen. They reached the window at last. After checking one last time, Fionna gestured for them to get out. Cake set the Prince on her back and wrapped her right arm around Fionna's middle. They disappeared into the night, cheering.

However, Ice Queen's ears heard their distant cheers. With a sort of snort, she awoke, startled. "Honey?" She pawed with her icy fingertips for her lamp. "Are you all right?" She pulled the string. "I thought I heard-" She stopped when she saw the cage was empty. Startled, she flapped her eyebrows and glided over to the cage. She grabbed the cell door lightly and pushed it to and fro, the icy hinges squeaking loudly. "I see what's happened." She said to no one in particular, her frosty blue eyes narrowed. "He dumped me." She stalked over to the window and stuck out her head. The sky was peppered with stars, and a nice breeze was rippling the air. She held up a fist. "YOUR LOSS! I'LL BE OVER YOU IN FIVE SECONDS!"

*le five seconds later*

Ice Queen lay limp across her bed like a rag doll thrown violently. A tub of chocolate ice cream lay half-eaten on her nightstand. Candles flickered dimly. Rose petals topped the floor and bed. The photos she had taken of her and her darling were scratched out and cut. "Why did he leave?" She sobbed. Her sobs sounded like wounded crows, helpless and shrieking. "I put all that cool stuff in his prison!" A stereo, a TV, and a red bass guitar. You can't get much cooler than that, right? Ice Queen sucked in a deep breath and sat up straight. She took her palm and slapped herself clean in the face. "Come on. Pull it together." A smile glowed on her icy features. "Hey! Maybe he called me!"

She glided over to her discarded clothes and began tossing through them. Tube top, skorts, cocktail dresses-AHA! She reached into her skinny jeans and took out her Apple. No joke here, it was an _actual _Apple. It would have been rotting and sour by now, but she put a charm on it so it wouldn't. After dialing a few buttons (which were really just squares she had drawn with a black marker), she held it to her ear for the voice-mail.

Her face went into rage, her nose wrinkled and her eyes flaming. "NO NEW MESSAGES?"

She took the Apple and flung it across the room. It hit the picture frame of her and the Prince, the only one she'd decided to keep. It showed the Ice Queen, smiling happily, and the Prince, who looked very scared behind the bars. Gunta's head poked through the bottom left corner. On impact, the picture frame crashed to the floor and broke into pieces.

Ice Queen stood still, as if shocked by what happened. Then she just cracked. Her hands went in icy blue flames, her hair began to whip around crazily as if she were standing into a tornado. A horrible shriek tore through her throat, which bounced off the walls and caused her ears to ring. From outside the castle, you could hear her shrieking horribly from miles away.

After her little 'episode,' the Ice Queen sulked into her bathroom. A carpet lay in the middle of the floor, royal blue with a snowflake covering its middle. A icy toilet was to the right, a cobalt towel on the rack next to it. A frosty sink with a chilly mirror was to the left, lined with a blue toothbrush and frozen toothpaste. A circular bath was carved into the far floor, filled with water so cold, if you weren't the Ice Queen, you'd freeze to death in it. Ice Queen took a breath, remembering how she had escorted the Prince here and left him alone for his personal business.

Ice Queen stepped in front of the sink and looked up at her reflection in the mirror. She had never liked the way she looked. Her eyes were sunken and sad, no happiness inside, but anger always flaming within. Her skin wasn't really wrinkly, but whenever she smiled, lines formed at the corners of her lips. Not to mention her skin was always frosty, a light blue color like she had dipped herself in paint. Her eyebrows shot ten inches in either direction, lightning-shaped and thick. Her hair was icy white, pooling onto the floor around her ankles. It felt like frozen straw to the touch. "I'm tired of looking at this face." She looked to the side of the sink and noticed a pair of scissors, tweezers, a brush, and a razor. She came up with an idea.

* * *

><p>After a good hour of plucking, cutting, brushing, and razoring (she hated plucking with the tweezers the most), Ice Queen looked up at her reflection and smiled. She couldn't help her skin and wrinkles, but everything else seemed unrecognizable. Her eyes were filled with flames of hope, flickering and going out before appearing again. She had plucked her eyebrows cleanly so that they were normally-sized, and normally arched as well, slim and silky. Her hair fell a little bit past her shoulders, ending with curls and satiny to the touch now. She looked like a complete stranger, like the Ice Queen never existed. But not only that, she looked very pretty now, younger and healthier.<p>

"Not bad." Ice Queen observed herself nicely. "Maybe some good exercise will help. I'm forgetting about that silly breakup already.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen bent over on her knees, gasping for air. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly. Her forehead was covered in sweat. But her form was already looking better, like magic, with a slightly slimmer waist, long smooth legs, and strong shoulders. She had changed out of her usual gown and was now wearing a fit blue active top, black shorts, and white sneakers. A royal blue headband kept her sweaty hair from her eyes, and a water bottle filled with cold water bounced at her hip. She had kept her tiara on.<p>

"Alright, that's enough for today." Even her voice sounded healthier and younger. She crouched down and jumped up-

But landed on her stomach.

Confused, she stood with a new bruise on her knee, purple on her blue skin. She patted her eyebrows. Silky and slim, not long and thick. "Idiot." She muttered to herself as she walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. The shade from the large purple tree covered her from the beaming sun. "You can't fly without your eyebrows." She sighed and cupped her face in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. "I'll be alone forever."

"Hello."

Ice Queen jumped at the sudden voice. She span to her left and looked down. Slime Prince was smiling up at her. Ice Queen's chest constricted. It had been such a long time since someone had smiled kindly at her. Hundreds of years. Not knowing what to do, she smiled back. "H-Hello?"

"Pardon me for approaching you, miss." Slime Prince rubbed the back of his head, as if scratching. "You just seemed so...approachable." He blushed shyly.

"That's odd," the Ice Queen giggled. She couldn't help it. "My looks usually put people off..."

The Prince laughed gleefully. Ice Queen frowned, not grasping the joke. She looked to her right, but only saw the purple bark of the tree, paper-like and stuff. She looked up at its blue leaves, but nothing could be seen. Then she looked up and down the road, as if she expected to see someone with a camera. "Is this like a punishment for you to do this?"

The Slime Prince jiggled with laughter, like Jell-O on a plate. When he was done, he turned to the Ice Queen. "So tell me about yourself."

"Well, there's not much to tell." Ice Queen giggled. It felt good to giggle, the last time she had was...since Brent..."I'm just the Ice Queen."

"Ooooooh!" The Prince said interestedly. "So you're the Nice Queen?"

Ice Queen giggled and shook her head. "Oh, no, you misheard me. I'm not the _Nice _Queen, I'm the-"

She stopped when she saw that the Prince was looking at her, in an infatuated and fascinated way. She cleared her throat. "I'm a REALLY Nice Queen. And I'm single."

The Prince went into ecstatic laughter.

Up the hill, Lumpy Space Prince looked down from inside his parent's car, a lumpy red pickup truck. He dug around through the chip bags, empty soda bottles, and wrappers of food and candy and finally took out his phone. He dialed the third number (057485-38503-3850238) and waited. As the rings went by, he reached over for his hamburger and took out a large bite.

_"Hello?"_

"Dude, it's me." LSP said through a mouthful of meet, mayo, and tomato. "Listen, Slime P is in the park, and she's talking to this super-hot new queen, who's supposed to be awesomely nice. And the babe is SINGLE. I'm looking at them right now. But don't tell anybody."

* * *

><p>Hazelnut Prince hang up his phone after LSP finished. He rested his phone down half a second before dialing another number. He called Wildberry Prince and told her about Nice Queen. Wildberry Prince called Emerald Prince. Emerald Prince called Ghost Prince, who called Corndog Prince, who called Muscle Prince, and you get the picture. Soon, every prince in the land knew about the new Nice Queen. Prince Gumball was called by Princes Princes Princes, but he didn't really care. But everyone else did.<p>

* * *

><p>Fionna giggled as she and Cake walked through the jungle. She still had the troll's severed head in her left arm, the black blood splattering the grass and her leg. Her other hand held her ruby sword, bright in the sun, against her shoulder. "And then," she took a moment to giggle while Cake listened. "I was like 'Back off!' And she was like, 'YOU back off!' And I was like 'Fat chance!' And then she was like 'Ah! My spliung!'" She finished with a great laughed. She noticed that Cake had her furry arm stretched above the tree tops. "What're you doing?"<p>

"Trying to get a single." said Cake, tilting her phone to the right. "I promised Lordy I'd call him after we were done, but I can't get a signal. It's like everyone in Aaa is on their phones or something."

She crashed into something heavy. It was so hard she fell on her back roughly. Fionna grabbed the fur at the back of her neck and helped her to her feet. Princes Princes Princes stood in front of them, twelve of their fourteen eyes glared down at them (the other was still drooling and staring into space.)

"Watch-" said one head.

"-Where-" said another.

"-You're going." finished a third.

"Where's the fire?" asked Fionna, raising a blond eyebrow.

"IN OUR HEARTS!" The heads cried in unison (except for the drooling one)

Fionna was completely confused. She looked down at Cake, who shrugged. "Pardon?"

"We're going-"

"-to see-"

"-the Nice Queen."

"Nice Queen?" repeated Fionna. She knew every Prince, Princess, King, and Queen in Aaa, from the Royal Family to the Zebra Royal Family. Since when was there a 'Nice Queen?'

"She's a-"

"-new queen-"

"-and she's-"

"-super nice-"

"-and we're going to-"

"-marry her."

One of the heads screamed and looked down at the blond head. "A SCRATCH!"

The other heads gasped and turned to the blond, who was whimpering. "CAKE!" they all screamed in unison. "YOU SCRATCHED US!"

"Uhm..." Cake paused. She had only bumped into their lower body, no part of her had touched their face(s). "Sorry...?"

_"YOU WILL BE!"_

"PPP," reasoned Fionna, "I don't even _see _a scratch."

"You don't?"

"No."

Princes Princes Princes paused, as if embarrassed, or unsure of what to say. "Then will-"

"-you please-"

"-step out-"

"-of our-"

"-way?"

Fionna stepped to the right a bit. But Princes Princes Princes practically STAMPEDED past her. She and Cake both fell to the ground, Cake on her face rather than her paws. The troll's head fell out of Fionna's grasp and fell to the grass like a basketball. Her ruby sword impaled the grass, sicking straight up. She looked over at the head, propped on her elbow. The head had landed upside-down, the two-feet wide mouth dangling open as if singing. A toad hopped into it to claim a new home.

"Darn." huffed Cake, patting away the dust that smeared her clean coat of fur. "Now we have to get rid of that toad..."

"Naw." Fionna stood and dusted the dirt and grass from her blue T-shirt and skirt. "Let her keep it. Hey, if there's a new Queen, we should offer out services."

Cake beamed. "Fionna-and-Cake style."

* * *

><p>Nice Queen was in heaven. Word had gotten around so quickly that she was a nice, good-looking queen. And now every prince in Aaa knew about her. LSP had floated up to her and Slime Prince, then Hazelnut Prince, and then Wildberry Prince. The more the princes came, Ice Queen knew she needed a castle to call a kingdom for her new position. She couldn't use the Ice Castle, the princes were all to familiar with it. So she had asked the princes nicely (no pun intended) to make her a castle, because her old one 'was overrun by trolls.' They gladly accepted. They had gathered all of their gold, silver, and gems and made a castle purely out of their precious items. Now, a gold castle stood thirty feet tall. The windows were made of diamonds, the door knobs made of emeralds, the carpets made of rubies, and all the furniture made of studded silver. It was a castle fit for a queen.<p>

After the actual castle was built, the Nice Queen asked them to make her a cage. They asked no questions and made a gold cage lickety-split. When they were done, Nice Queen locked all of them inside. No one complained at all. But now, Nice Queen was outside from them. They had their arms sticking through the cage, trying to reach and touch her.

"Gentlemen!" said Nice Queen. "I have time to meet you individually later! Please, hold still!" She pushed Turtle Prince back in as he climbed out.

"This looks like a prison." He said in his helium-from-balloons pitched voice.

"No!" Nice Queen said quickly, maybe a little too quickly. "It's just a waiting room!"

"NICE QUEEN!"

Nice Queen span around ridiculously fast. Fionna and Cake were charging in her directions, their arms flailing. They stopped in front of her. Nice Queen began to bubble with rage. She was happy now. So happy. She wasn't about to let them ruin this for her. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Her arms shot into blue flames fro her palms to her shoulders.

Fionna and Cake jumped. The princes went ghostly silent. What was her deal? She never even met Fionna OR Cake. Fionna exchanged a look with Cake, who looked baffled. "You're the Nice Queen, right?"

Ice Queen sizzled down. Her arms went out, not even a single burn behind. She smiled. "Oh yeah. I keep forgetting that. Apology."

Fionna smiled, sort of awkwardly. The princes smiled too, but still remained pleasantly quiet. "Well, I'm Fionna and this is Cake."

"Howdy!" waved Cake.

Ice Queen froze. Fionna and Cake? Serving her? That made as much sense as the sun being made out of ice. But they didn't recognize her, did they? "Serve me?" she echoed.

"Totally." nodded Fionna. "We are your Nice Ladies-in-Waiting."

Nice Queen let out a disbelieving laugh. It sounded like a choke at first. She took her ruby scepter and gestured for Fionna and Cake to bow, which they did. She tapped the scepter twice on their shoulders. "By the power invested in me, I dub ye my Nice Ladies-in-Waiting."

The princes cheered crazily. Fionna and Cake stood, beaming. "So what is our first command, oh Queen?"

"NICE QUEEN I LOVE YOU!"

"I DO TOO!"

Nice Queen looked past the human girl and cat to the crazily cheering princes. She bit her lip. She needed to do something, or the princes would go ballistic soon enough. "Just a second, I have to talk to my-"

"DO YOU LIKE OPERA?"

_"DO YOU LIKE PASTA?_

_**"LET ME LOVE YOU!"**_

_**"LET ME SPEAK TO MY LADIES-IN-WAITING OR I WILL BLOW YOUR HEADS INTO PIECES!"**_ Nice Queen shrieked, her eyes flaming red and her wrists in sizzling blue flames.

The princes, Fionna, and Cake jumped. In unison, every gasped a "what?" Nice Queen realized her mistake and took a deep breath. The flames disappeared as if she had blown them out. She gestured for Fionna and Cake to come closer. They did so, very cautiously.

"Listen, my main enemy right now is the disorientation of my love life." She whispered.

Fionna's eyebrows creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I need to to catalog my princes."

"But we don't handle love-dazed princes." said Cake. "We kill stuff."

"I'll choose my husband first. Then you may kill whatever you please. There's plenty to slaughter later."

Fionna and Cake exchanged worried glances. Sure, Cake had a boyfriend, and Fionna had a crush, but actually managing love admirers wasn't their thing. But they had sworn to serve the Nice Queen. They had to now.

* * *

><p>"Do you like guitar?" asked Fionna. She was sitting on the silver love seat, a gold check board in hand and a ruby pen in the other. Cake was in the other loveseat, with the same objects. Surprisingly, the seats were plush, even though they were made from solid silver.<p>

"Uhm..." Ghost Prince paused for a moment. He didn't really sit in the silver loveseat, he sort of just floating a few inches above it. In his echoing voice, he asked, "Am I supposed to? I'm so nervous right now..."

"We understand." Fionna reassured him. After drawing 'N/A' in the check-box, she said. "Let's try something easier. Are you fond of women with magical abilities?"

"Well, my mother had magical abilities and she was a wonderful woman...But I was kidnapped by the Demon Queen for fifteen years, and she had magical abilities too, so I'm sort of confused by how I feel right now."

"Alright." Fionna drew a '=' sign for neutral in the box. "I think we have everything."

"You may return to the waiting room now, sir." hissed Cake. Fionna jumped at how angry she sounded. Ghost Prince flew away, yelling about how he was such an idiot and screwed it up. Smiling, Cake turned to her sister. "I say that went well."

"I feel guilty about making him sad...I'm not sure this is what Ladies-in-Waiting do."

"Ladies-in-Waiting do WHAT THEY'RE TOLD. We have to do this."

"I dunno, Cupcake..."

"Loyalty to the Queen!" vowed Cake.

"Can't argue with that."

_"Girls!"_

Fionna and Cake looked up at the whispering yell. Up the gold tower, Nice Queen was sticking her head out of the diamond window. _"I told Pinata Prince I liked him a lot. But I really don't. Can you too break it off for me?"_

On cue, Pinata Prince shuffled through the door. Fionna felt horrible. She knew this wasn't going to end well. She glanced at Cake, who gave her a 'Loyalty to the Queen' look.

Fionna turned to the Prince. "Her Highness isn't looking for a relationship right now."

"But I thought we had something special..."

"It's not you, it's him."

"But my daughter needs a mother."

Fionna smiled. "I'm sure you're a great parent!"

"NO I'M NOT! SHE ALWAYS STEALS AND DESTROYS PROPERTY, AND WHENEVER I TRY TO TALK TO HER, SHE BREAKS ME OPEN AND STEALS MY CANDY!"

Before Fionna could reassure him, Cake spoke up. "Just curious: Where's your daughter right now?"

_**"OH MY GOODNESS I TOLD HER TO WAIT FOR ME OVER AT THE DEMON PORTAL! I AM SUCH A HORRIBLE FATHER!" **_He ran off, screaming.

"We did it!" cheered Cake.

"But I feel terrible." sighed Fionna. She felt like someone was stabbing her over and over. "We broke his heart like glass."

She decided to tell Ice Queen how she felt about it. Telling Cake to wait, she walked through the silver door and climbed up the topaz stairs. She opened the Nice Queen's door. Nice Queen's room was glamorous. The bed was made out of soft sapphire, the carpet from plush ruby, and the bookcase made from pure pearls. Nice Queen was in the window, smiling as she watched Pinata Prince run away. Fionna noticed her eyebrows looks slightly thicker, and her hair had become an inch longer, but she said nothing of it. "Nice Queen?"

"Hm?" Nice Queen turned to her.

"I...don't wanna do this anymore."

"YOU QUESTION YOUR LOYALTY?"

"It's not that. You're supposed to treat the princes NICELY. You're the NICE Queen, not the ICE Queen."

Nice Queen bit her lip so hard that icy blood dripped on her tongue, salty and coppery. She was about to say that she didn't want her opinion on this matter, when the door flung open and LSP came soaring in. "I'm ready!"

Fionna smiled as her friend entered the room, but Nice Queen shivered. She didn't really like LSP, he was too dramatic and not really macho enough. "Fionna." Fionna turned to her Queen. "Get rid of him."

"Wha? NO WAY!"

"He's too loud and lumpy. Do it for your Queen!"

_**"WHAT?" **_LSP screamed loudly. _**"WHO'S LOUD?!"**_

"YOU ARE!" Nice Queen yelled rudely. "I like smooth, quiet princes." She made a sphere shape with her hands.

"I CAN SO BE SMOOTH!" He began to hug himself tightly. His blood veins pumped out, his muscles straining. Finally, gasping and panting, he turned to Fionna. "Fionna, punch out my lumps."

"WHAT?"

"I want to be what she wants! I can change for her!"

"I can't punch a prince. I'd be dirty forever."

"PLEASE!"

"I CAN'T!"

"Fionna!" yelled Ice Queen. "Just punch him! I want to see him smooth." She made a sphere shape again.

_Loyalty to the Queen _Cake's voice echoed in her head. She had to do this. Nice Queen demanded it. She turned to LSP and rose a shaky fist, and LSP beamed, ready. Fionna shut her eyes and threw her fist down.

Her fist collided with LSP's soft muscles. LSP grunted in pain, but was happy none the less. Fionna hit him again. And again. And again and again and again.

"One more." She socked his shoulder, and he gave a final grunt. She ran a hand over his form. "Smooth."

She stepped back. LSP's form was no longer lumpy, but now somewhat resembles a sphere. A floating purple sphere with a star and a mustache. Smiling, they both turned to Nice Queen.

She looked indifferent, as if unsure whether she like it or not. "Nah. I don't like it."

"THE QUEEN DOESN'T LIKE ME, FIONNA!" LSP jabbed a finger at her. "YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME SMOOTH ENOUGH."

He floated out of the room and down the stairs.

"I can't take it anymore." Fionna couldn't bring herself to look at Nice Queen. "Breaking hearts...punching princes...This isn't nice at all."

"YOU ARE SKATING ON THIN ICE, FIONNA!" Nice Queen shrieked. Fionna jumped. Her voice sounded so much like the Ice Queen's. 'Nice Queen' realized it and coughed. "I birthed you. AND I CAN UNBIRTH YOU."

Ice Queen felt a tug at her eyebrow. Confused, she touched it. She gasped. It was frosty, thick, and was starting to take a lightning-bolt shape.

"Hm..." Fionna stared at it. "That...eyebrow makes you look really familiar..."

"The jig is up!" Ice Queen said to herself.

Fionna stared. "What jig?"

"Uh...My jig!" Ice Queen did an actual jig. She swung to the side, kicked her feet, and flailed her arms, never taking her hand from her eyebrow. Fionna couldn't help but smile. "I have a new assignment for you! Very important."

"What is it?" Fionna was bubbly with excitement.

"The Ice Queen stole my stuff: my scissors, my tweezers, my brush, and my razor. Sneak into her trap-filled castle and retrieve it. But don't get caught. And don't look in the shoebox she keeps under her bed behind the board games!"

"Wait. Wha-"

"THOSE ARE MY ORDERS."

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake crept down the icy hallway of the Ice Castle. There weren't many sea lions around, and the Ice Queen must have been on an errand. As they reached the corner of the hallway, Fionna glanced past the hall to the other room. Fionna pointed at her eyes then at the room.<p>

Cake nodded. She shaped her eyes like goggles and stretched them out past the corner. After a moment, Cake drew her eyes back and shook her head. It was only the kitchen.

_WAAAAAAAAAAAIII!_

Their was a heavy sound of a bass guitar screeching. Fionna and Cake ran down the other hallway and stopped in the other room. "ICE QUEE-" She stopped.

Gunta stared at the two girls, her eyes wide, her flippers still closed around the bass guitar. Oh.

"Sorry!" Fionna and Cake said in unison.

"I don't think the Ice Queen is home." Cake said to Fionna as they stepped down the hallway. "Let's go get the Nice Queen's stuff!"

After creeping down some more icy hallways and corridors, they reached the bathroom. Icy, frosty, and clean. The bath's tub was still evaporating cold mist. But there was something noticeable: hair covered the center of the room, in a five-foot-high pile. The hair was coarse and frosty, like frozen hay, and was the color of the snow outside. Fionna couldn't step aside it. It took up half the room. She marched into it. It went up to the top of her skirt, and it caused her arms to form goosebumps. "This is a lot of hair." she shivered.

"I think she shaved her legs." giggled Cake as she stood in the doorway. They both laughed.

Fionna glanced down at the bowl of the sink. Lining the icy sides, there were shiny tweezers, an icy razor, a frosted razor, and a royal blue hairbrush clotted with white hair. "I found them!"

She turned.

Ice Queen was staring at her.

She screamed.

"It's just me, Fifi!" giggled Cake. She had taken handful after handful of the hair from the ground and plastered them to herself. There were now thick, frosty white eyebrows on her forehead. Wavy, coarse white hair fell from her furry head. She looked like a cat-version of the Ice Queen.

"You got me there." Fionna giggled. She buried her face in the hair, thrashing her head and adding them to her eyebrows. She resurfaced, identical to Cake. They both laughed.

Cake picked up a tuft of hair and let it fall down. "This stuff could make anyone look like the Ice Queen."

"Yeah." giggled Fionna. "Even the Ice Queen."

"..."

"..."

They both gasped in realization. _"THE NICE QUEEN __**IS **__THE ICE QUEEN!"_

Gunta hit the cymbals like an exclamation point.

* * *

><p>Nice Queen looked at herself closer in the diamond mirror. Now that she looked closer, she didn't really like her face now. Her hair was shorter, yes, but still coarse. Her left eyebrow was thick and three-inches long now, in a bolt shape. Her skin was still blue, and she still had lines at the corners of her mouth. "What do those princes see in this face..." She rubbed her other eyebrow. It felt thicker. She guessed her magic was causing her to grow out more. "I hope I can keep this under control."<p>

Her right eyebrow flew up three inches in a bolt shape. She gasped. She grabbed them both and tore them out. Her forehead burned with the pain. Then her hair began to frost and it grew longer. She ripped out tuft after tuft of forming hair and eyebrows. Her head felt like fire.

"NICE QUEEN!"

Nice Queen ran to the window. Fionna and Cake were far below, waiting with their hands behind their backs. "Hey! Did you guys get my stuff?"

"Yes." Fionna sounded odd. "And also...THIS!" She rose her hand high. A thick tuft of white hair was in her grasp.

"MY HA-I mean...what is that?"

"IT'S YOUR HAIR, YOU BIG LIAR!" yelled Fionna. "Come on, Cupcake." They headed for the door.

"Stop!"

LSP appeared in front of the both of them, holding his hand up. He was lumpy now, no longer smooth. He looked angry and protective.

"LSP, what's the deal?" asked Fionna in confusion.

"We won't let you beat up the Nice Queen." The other princes crowed behind LSP in agreement, all angry and ready for a fight. Some were snarling.

"That's not the Nice Queen!" Fionna tried to reason, pointing up at the tower.

"We don't believe you!" scoffed LSP.

"Boy, these guys are desperate." huffed Fionna. "Cupcake, what do we do? We can't beat up these guys?"

"Why not? You've been punching them and breaking their hearts all day."

Fionna began to hyperventilate. She sweated crazily, and she was trmbling all over.

"Calm down." advised her sister. She stuck out her muzzle. It morphed into a curving, square shape, like a police shield, with her teeth in the front. "Get behind my muzzleshield."

They charged. Fionna felt Cake hit something, and Wildberry Prince flew over her head. Soon, they were caught in a battlefield of flying princes, yelping and tumbling away. They charged through into the castle. They looked up. Ice Queen's figure was running up the spiraling topaz stairs. They charged up after her.

Ice Queen ran into the attic. There was absolutely nothing inside. There was simply a window, pouring in sunlight. She ran to it and got into position-"Wait!" she told herself. "I can't fly!"

"LET ME HELP YOU!"

Fionna flew across the room and punched Ice Queen right in the nose. They both flew through the window and began to speed towards the ground. Cake jumped after them.

The air rushed past Fionna's ears, howling sharply. Her clothes whipped everywhere. The tuft of blond hair she had was ruffling. Fionna reached both hands into her backpack. One grabbed a large tuft of hair, the other the glue bottle. She poured the glur onto Ice Queen's face, applying tuft after tuft of white hair.

Finally, when she was done, Cake flew down to Fionna. Fionna hopped onto her back and Cake floated them to safety.

Ice Queen hit the ground harshly. Pain shot up her spin. She stood, groaning. Then she gasped. Her hair was tumbling to her ankles once more, her eyebrows five inches long again.

Fionna and Cake landed next to her, their arms crossed. "See, Princes?"

Ice Queen span around.

The Princes were gawking at her.

"It's OK!" Ice Queen stammered, sweating all over. "I-I can shave it of again! D-deal?"

Glaring, the Princes lunged for her. Soon, Ice Queen disappeared, screaming, into a pile of angry, thrashing Princes, punching and kicking.

Fionna and Cake smiled as they watched. Fionna turned to Cake, smirking. "Well, that was a _close shave._"

Cake laughed, shaking her head and closing her head. "No. That was terrible, Fifi."

"Well, you're laughing a lot."

"Because it was terrible."

TRIVIA

Prince Gumball does not appear in this episode, despite the fact he is a main character/princess. Though his personality makes it seem like his love life is not his priority

There is a hint that Ice Queen had a previous boyfriend, Brent.


	30. Blood Under the Skin

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Lady Lott-Fionna's nemesis in _Blood Under the Skin _because Fionna has no Full Body Armor. Lady Lott rides a black horse with a red mane and tail. His appearance is always preceded by a strike of red lightning against his silhouette, with a clap of thunder, and a black background. Her uniform greatly resembles Female Commander Shepard's armor from Mass Effect, except the red glowing places are now purple. Her hair is long and turqoise-colored, and she has all-green eyes.

BLOOD UNDER THE SKIN

_Title Card_

_Fionna blushes madly, the blood rising to her face_

The gigantic mantis snarled at Fionna and Cake, thrashing its pincers madly. Its yellow eyes were lit afire, its green hands scratching and clawing for the two girls. It was obviously very mad.

Fionna held her ruby sword high above her head angrily. Cake held up her silver shield bravely. Both cried out in battle and sprinted forward for the mantis.

Remember when I said the mantis was gigantic? Well, it was. For a mantis. About four inches long. Fionna plummeted her sword through the air, but instead of hitting the mantis, she simply threw down the sword very close to its left. "Get it out! Get it out!" Cake panicked. She hated freakishly large bugs inside their Treehouse. Fionna picked up the mantis with the tip of her sword and opened the wooden door. As she set it to the earth, she rasped, "Don't EVER come back." And sent it on its little way.

"We're good." Fionna stepped back inside-

Suddenly she felt a searing pain through her foot. Like fire in gasoline. She cried out in pain, and Cake jumped in shock. Fionna fell on her back, clutching her wounded leg, and ripped off the shoe and sock. She peeked through her eyelids, expecting her foot to be bloody and misshapen.

She had stubbed her toe.

She was curious. She had never 'stubbed' anything before. Not once. Ever. She precariously tapped ever-so-lightly on her large toe. She yelped as pain shot up her leg once more. Not that the stub was really serious.

"What's the matter, Fifi?" asked Cake, very quickly she almost slurred. "Did it bite you? Are you infected? _IS IT THE PINK PLAGUE?!"_

_"NO." _scoffed Fionna, annoyed by how much her sister was so over-dramatically panicked. "I stubbed my toe."

"Let me see." Cake took Fionna's bare foot in her paw very motherly like. A moment later, she looked back up incredulously at her sister. "You barely even brushed it against the doorway."

"BUT. IT. HURTS."

"Does little Fifi want a kiss to make da pain go away?" Cake joked mockingly. She pressed her muzzle to the injured toe mockingly. Fionna angrily pushed her away.

"Knock it off, Cupcake. I need protection."

* * *

><p>Fionna smiled as she inspected her foot, which was now wedged inside a bucket. It pinched her toes and heel, but at least she wouldn't have to worry about stubbing it anymore. She smiled. "Thanks, Love Dove."<p>

"I am Love Dove!" the little dove tweeted, her layered dress swishing with her every movement. "Choose something you may belove, a shoe, a hat, or even a glove!"

The two girls waved goodbye. Fionna turned to her feline sister as they walked away. "I can't feel the circulation to my toes anymore, but I sure do feel protected."

There was a sound of laughter. Curious, Fionna and Cake turned. Metal Marons were clattering the market lane, laughing and chattering. They were made from every hard substance imaginable. The lower class, the girls who were maids and ladies-in-waiting, were made of simple rock or ore as they carried their ladies' groceries and such. The upper class, the officials and royals, were made of diamond, gold, or silver. The girls in middle class, who were not lower or higher, were made of copper and marble. The female metals and rocks were showing off their fancy materials (not the lower class, for fear they may break themselves) by scraping them with sharp objects or having very large and heavy objects like anvils thrown at them.

"What a bunch of metal morons..." scoffed Cake as she observed.

"Hit me!" a diamond Maron cried to a gold one. The gold one raised a silver sword high and brought it down. The blade split IN HALF on contact with the diamond Maron. The Metal Marons all cheered and clapped and gasped in wonder. They were complete show-offs. The gold Maron turned to the diamond one and gave her a thumbs-up.

"Hey, gals! Over here!"

The Marons silenced completely. Like someone had hit the mute button. Frowning, they turned to see who had interrupted them. Fionna was beaming. She had to show them what she could do. She couldn't help it.

"Cupcake!" Fionna held out her foot to her feline sister. "Hit me!"

Cake slapped her upside the face with her paw.

"CUPCAKE!" Fionna yelled out as she felt her cheek still stinging. "On my ARMOR."

"_Oh." _Cake shrunk her paw to the size of a ladybug. Then she slapped the bucket with it, which sounded like a butterfly brushing up against a flower.

Beaming, Fionna turned to the Marons with a thumbs-up.

The Marons burst out laughing. It sounded like metal rang against earth. Some fell to their knees, others to their stomachs, clutching their guts. Most just barely stood. Fionna frowned in confusion. Why were they laughing? Maybe they were laughing in amazement!

"You call that ARMOR?" The Diamond Maron exclaimed. Definitely not amazement. "That is a BUCKET. REAL armor covers you're whole body. Why are you wearing that? _Did da widdle baby stub her toe?_"

There was another round of laughter. Fionna felt a very soft pink blush rise to her features.

There was a clap of thunder. For half a moment, the sky went completely black like a nightmare. Red lightning cut through it savagely. Cake shrieked and jumped behind her human sister. But it was over in a second and a half.

"Lady Lott!" The Marons collapsed to their knees humbly. Confused, Fionna turned around. A woman one a black horse stood five feet away, her turquoise hair blowing savagely in the wind. Her eyes were an icy green. But Fionna was awed by her. Or rather, her armor. It was black metal, with pockets filled with knives and bullets and guns. There were glowing purple lights all over it, giving off a wonderous glow. It was the most magnificent armor she had ever seen.

At first, Lady Lott said nothing. She simply looked over all the Marons as they bowed to her. Finally, she spoke, "Who is the miss who bears the bucket?"

Fionna couldn't believe that Cake jabbed a furry finger in her direction. "This miss."

Lady Lott looked over Fionna from her bunny ears to her bucket-foot. She smiled, and Fionna thought she liked her. But then Lady Lott burst into thunderous laughter. Fionna frowned deeply. The laughter sounded like actual thunder, no lie.

"Stupid girl." scoffed Lady Lott. "Without full body armor, you are exposed to danger. You do not deserve a-" she gave a mocking thumbs-up. Then, cackling, she kicked her horse's flank and rode off into the existence like a graceful swan.

Fionna was seething. She was the HEROIN OF AAA. Everybody knew that. "That witch!" snarled Fionna, causing Cake to jump. "I SO deserve a-" She held up a thumb.

Fionna ran all the way back to the red-flowered stand and yelled, "LOVE DOVE I NEED MORE ARMOR."

"Choose some protection from my wide selection." tweeted Love Dove.

Fionna smiled. "OK. I want-"

"Here's a glove made of sinter." Love Dove held up a grimy, rusty glove. "You may get a splinter."

The Metal Marons howled with laughter. Fionna felt her face go rose. Sweat formed on her forehead. "Love Do-"

"How about a cone?" Love Dove now held up a metal cone, rusted red. "You may hit your funny bone."

More laughter. Fionna went fuchsia.

"Oh, come on, suck up your gut. Here's a pillow in case you fall on your butt."

Laughter. Now red.

"LOVE DOVE!"

Everyone went, very surprised, silent.

"I want the most..." Fionna held up a thumb. "...Armor you have."

"Take a peek." Love Dove held out a wing at the three displays of armor.

The first one-a armor body with a gold face, thighs, and arms, with red iron covering the elbows, knees, and chest. A glowing white circle in the middle. Not enough.

Second one-just like Lady Lott's. But it was pink and yellow. Too girly.

The third one-PURE GOLD WITH DIAMOND ELBOW AND KNEE PROTECTION WITH A SILVER HEADSET AND CRYSTAL WINGS!

Fionna nearly fainted. "I'LL TAKE THAT ONE!"

"For what shall you trade?"

"What now."

"I need something traded in for equal value. I think the tail of that cat friend of yours shall do."

Fionna looked at her sister. "You can grow another one, right?"

"I'm just stretchy, Fifi." Cake did a show of growing taller and shorter.

"Love Dove, we need cheaper stuff."

"If you can't afford armor fit for a queen, just ask, if you know what I mean."

"I ask."

"Wonderful." Love Dove reached into her stand and took out a roll of parchment, yellowed and aged. "As promised: the next best thing to armor."

"What the glob is that?"

"A poem."

The Marons burst into another round of metallic laughter. Fionna glared at everyone around her with her face pink. "LD, no one wants to hear about your feelings."

"This poem is not about my feelings. If you can decipher the poem and complete the trials, you shall recieve the armor of Noradlez. The armor is fortold to be totally awesome and-" Love Dove held up a thumb.

"SLAMACOW!"

"Slamacow indeed." Love Dove handed over the parchment. Fionna took it, beaming. It felt like it were made of sewn feathers.

"Me and Cupcake are over this." she said proudly.

"Marvelous." Love Dove's feathers ruffled happily. "The quest begins at the bog down the ravine."

Fionna and Cake set off immediately. However, on the way, the sky went black and red thunder sliced the sky once again.

When it was over, though, nothing happened.

"Over here."

Fionna and Cake turned to Lady Lott. "Oh."

"Good luck, human girl." Lady Lott smirked.

Fionna smiled, taking this as a compliment. "Thank-"

"I hope your skin doesn't burn TOO bright in the elements." Before either could answer, Lady Lott urged her horse forward, cackling acidly.

Fionna seethed with rage. What had she done to get on Lady Lott's bad side? She had barely spoken to her. And yet, every movement she made somehow enlightened Lady Lott to insult her. She had no right to be such a cruel brute. "C'mon Cupcake." She hissed and stormed towards the ravine.

* * *

><p>"She's such a stupid brute." grumbled Fionna as they headed through the bog. The bog was filled with sickly green-grey fog that smelled like rotting pine. The trees were black and green, covered in moss that looked and felt like crusty grey slime. The earth was nothing but black mud that sent fumes of sickly fragrance into the air, and the mud coated them to their ankles. The water in the mud was icy cold and though Cake didn't mind, it gushed into Fionna's Mary Janes. Fionna hated everything. She hated Lady Lott. She hated the fog. The moss. The mud. The entire bog itself.<p>

"You shouldn't listen to her, Fifi." Cake said to her. She began to say something else, but stopped. "Fifi, LOOK."

Fionna stared ahead. There were twenty-foot-high brown trees towering above them. Sticking out from their bark, doors blocked them in a wall. Bi-folding doors, Dutch doors, revolving doors, glass doors, metal cell-like doors. All connected in one way or another. Fionna remembered when she was little, when she was about a year old and Cake was about 16, their mother read them a book named _Alice in Wonderland _that she had taken from the Fungi War ruins. The wall of doors looked like they belonged in the book.

"What does the poem say?" asked Cake. Fionna unrolled part of the parchment and read it aloud:

_"Moonlight eats _

_the shiny stars_

_and candy canes_

_fall down hard."_

There was a long silence.

"I don't get it."

Cake took the parchment and rolled it up. She ran her paw over it, as if examining. She rolled it over her muzzle, humming. After a moment, she handed it back to her sister. "It means we have to travel through the Bog of Humiliation."

"How did you understand that?"

"Fifi, you don't just READ words. You FEEL them. Trust me, I have more knowledge than anyone else. Now go ahead."

"You're not coming with me?" For as long as she could remember, Cake had never left her side in an adventure. Except for that one time in the Dungeon, but she did not want to go there. Too many bad memories.

"No. This armor thing is completely up to you." Cake told her solemnly. "I'm going to wait for you on the other side. Besides, it's just a bog. It's not a labyrinth." Before Fionna could say anything, Cake stretched up above her, over the doors of the bog. A minute later, her lower half followed.

Fionna shrugged and headed towards the door-wall. "I've battled demons, witches, trolls, goblins, and dragons. I've survived a zombie apocalypse, a crazy horse stalker, a savage jewel thief, and loads more. It's not like I'll die of humiliation." She reached for a bi-folding door and slid it open...

...only to see an old man...

...using the bathroom...

...and he starting yelling at her...

"I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!" Fionna shut the door, covering her eyes. Her face was a bright fuchsia. She reached out for a French door...

...only to see a woman...

...using the bathroom...

...and she started screaming...

Fionna shrieked and slammed the door. Her face was a bright scarlet.

She blindly opened a Dutch door...

...and you get the idea...

So for the next half-hour or so, she went through door after door, blushing and apologizing and screaming. It seemed to never end. By the time she had reached the end, she was almost literally a walking tomato, she was so red. Cake ran up to her. "Are you OK?"

"So...much...SHAME..."

"Your face...it's like an apple..."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

The sky went black. Thunder clapped. Red lightning savaged the sky.

Lady Lott cackled. "You look a bit flushed, Fifi. Feeling a but humiliated in the Bog of Humiliation? You're so red you look like a pepper. Who is..." She jabbed her thumb down. Then, cackling, she disappearing into the fog.

Fionna growled at her as she left. What was this girl's deal? "I'll show her. We'll see who's more-" She held up a thumb. "-When I have the armor of Noredlez! What does the poem say next?"

Cake unrolled another part of the parchment. Stroking it with her paw, she said,

_"The dark night weeps_

_as sunlight seeps_

_Over the horizon."_

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

"It means we have to silence..._the Weeping of the Woods." _Cake pointed over to a wooded area. Weeping shrieks, faint and echoing, erupted from it. Fionna and Cake ran into the forest. It was better than the bog. The trees were rich brown and smelled minty, and the grass was soft and dewy. They came to a shrub, where the weeping was much louder. They looked through the leaves.

A furry white monster stood in front of them. It was over twenty-five feet tall. Its face was a deep crimson, bright and big. Big ears like a rabbit's sprouted from its head. Its fur was scruffy and white. And bawling. Tears the size of beach balls were streaming down its cherry face and soaking its fur.

"How are we gonna silence THAT?" asked Fionna. The blush had not left her face one bit. She still looked like a tomato.

"I got this one." smiled Cake. "I know how to make men go..._silent_."

She walked over to the White Monster's foot, which was the size of a eighteen-wheeler. She stretched up on her legs so that the monster's face was equal with her own (though very much bigger.)

"Hey, handsome."

The Monster stopped sobbing and looked at her, tears still streaming and its eyes bloodshot.

"Feeling lonely? You should get a haircut. Maybe then girls would like you more."

OK, so Cake had lied, in a way. The Monster growled and bared its razor-sharp, shed-sized teeth at her. Cake jumped and teetered on her pole-like legs. But then the Monster's eyes wandered past the cat and landed right on Fionna. The Monster stopped immediately.

Fionna shrunk down into the shrub.

The Monster made a baboon-like giggle and threw its hand to Fionna. Fionna yelped as she felt the hand clasp around her like a hug, scruffy wool cocoon. She kicked and punched, trying to break free. But she couldn't. Soon the Monster's face was towering over her. It stooped down and kissed Fionna on the side of the face. It felt like heavy, scratchy rubber attacking her. Fionna went redder and screamed. "Cupcake! Help!"

Cake observed as the Monster kissed her sister over and over. She snickered and said, "Fifi. I think he thinks you're his red-faced MATE or somethin'..."

Fionna let out a disbelieving yell.

"Fifi, listen." frowned Cake. "No armor is worth this. Let's just go home and-"

The sky went black.

Fionna and Cake stared as the sky stayed pitch dark.

"Sorry about that."

They both looked down to see Lady Lott trying to fix a switch. "Sometimes this thing just gets broken...there we go."

Red lightning tore the sky to pieces.

And THEN everything went normal.

"Now, what was I going to say..." Lady Lott paused. "Oh yes...I have a song for you and your new MATE to play on your honeymoon. Lady-in-waiting, sing my song."

Lady Lott's lady-in-waiting hopped out from behind the horse. Fionna was surprised how much she looked like her Imagination Girl from that time when Cake's imagination went all wacky. The lady in waiting began to play.

_"They're the two stupid monsters_

_Their cheeks are bright and red_

_Be sure to make fun of them_

_Before you go to bed."_

Lady Lott cackled cruelly.

"That is the stupidest song in Aaa." Fionna said as the Monster stared down at the cackling Lady. "I'll show you. I'm going to have the greatest armor in Aaa." Fionna let out a angry yell. She was so fed p with Lady Lott. No matter where she was, or what she did, Lady Lott humiliated her.

The Monster jumped at his 'mate's' sudden outburst. She was upset. The turquoise-haired woman had upset his mate.

The Monster's eyes went to cat-like slits. It snarled, baring its razor teeth. It raised its empty paw high and brought it down.

Lady Lott simply blocked it with her hand as if it were nothing. The impact between the gigantic paw and the heavy armor was amazing. The sound of cracking bone sliced the air. The Monster brought its hand back and rubbed it, snarling at Lady Lott. Lady Lott cackled. And then she rode off.

Fionna was about to yell after her. But then she felt the Monster hug her. Her face buried itself in the scruffy fur. She blushed brighter. It felt like she was pressed against two scruffy walls.

"That's adora-" Cake yelped as she felt the Monster's other paw clasped around her and lifted her high into the air.

"Dolly for wife." She pressed the two girls together, making them hug. Then as he hugged her he began to go still. His eyes were drooping shut. He let out a booming yawn that caused their ears to ring. Then the Monster sunk down and laid on the grassy earth. And he began to snore loudly.

"Come on, Cupcake!" Fionna began to move. They both began to twist and turn, but it was no use. They were trapped. Fionna groaned. "Great. We're gonna stay here forever. Raising my monster babies while you play doll with them."

"We can burrow our way out!" Cake began to bury herself in the monster's scruffy fur. Her head was buried in, then her middle, then her tail. Soon, she disappeared. Fionna was about to call out to her, when she felt Cake's arm grab her and pull her in with her. They began to tunnel through the Monster's fur. It was like crawling through a scruffy tunnel. After about five minutes, Fionna felt Cake disappear. But then Cake yanked her out. She fell on the grass with a thump.

And they ran.

* * *

><p>"Fifi, stop!" Cake pulled on her sister's shirt. "Look!"<p>

Fionna looked ahead. A mountain towered over them, gray and snowy. There was a large wooden door engraved in the stone, in the shape of an A. In sloppy scrawl, the words _Home of Noradlez Armor _were slapped on the wood.

Fionna looked down at her sister. "Let's do it."

She kicked the door open. With a crack, it fell off the wall. In the center of the room stood a girl. She looked to be about 30. She was tall, with thick glasses and choppy hair. She was wearing a white sundress and sandals. But she was a ghost. You could tell because 1: she was floating and 2: you could see right through her blue hue. "Hello there."

"Begon, ghost!" Fionna waved her hand at the ghostly girl. "We're here for the Armor of Noradlez!"

"Oh, wonderful!" The ghostly girl beamed. "But first you must beat my high score in Verity."

Fionna and Cake answered in unison. "Verity?"

"Verity is a very popular game designed for people everywhere. I have spent 100,000 years in this cave practicing this game in case someone ever came to play. So watch out, cos I'm pretty good. Here's how it works." She took out a green ball from her sundress' pocket. "We toss the ball back and forth to each other. Whenever we catch it, we have to say an embarrassing secret to one another. The more embarrassing the secret, the higher the score you get on a scale of one to ten." She gestured over to a dusty chalkboard. The words FIONNA and GHOST GIRL appeared on it. "I think the first one to get to...a million will win." On the chalkboard, GOAL: 1,000,000 appeared. "Let's start." She held the ball and immediately said, "I have a crush on the rock in the corner."

6 tally marks appeared under GHOST. The rock in the corner blushed.

"Good." the ghost girl tossed the ball to Fionna. "You're turn."

Fionna did not catch it but instead let it bounce onto the floor of the cave. "This game looks horrible."

"I completely disagree! I..." the Ghost Girl went on a very speedy lecture about how Verity was the most awesome game on the planet and how it was used to humiliate prisoners during the Fungi War blah blah blah.

"Cupcake, I'm just going to kill her, OK?" Fionna looked down at her feline sister.

"How? She's already dead."

"So let's go. It's still your turn." the Ghost Girl picked the ball off the ground and tossed it back over to her again.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." said Fionna as she grumpily took the ball. She blushed a bit, trying to consider what to say. "I...have a crush on Prince Gumball."

A 0 appeared under her name on the board.

"No, no, no!" the Ghost Girl erased the 0 on the board. "You have to say something NO ONE knows. The point of Verity is..." she flipped the chalkboard over and began to scribble down formulas and theories, saying why it was important to know the rules and how many people could play...

Fionna and Cake began to creep to the door at the other end of the cave. Fionna pushed it open. It gave off an almost silent creak.

The hall opened before them. The cave's floor turned to gold. The roof held a magnificent chandelier of diamond and gold, sparkling and dazzling, bathing them in magnificent light. Marble pillars towered up to the ceiling on either side of them. At the far wall stood a silver pillar. A shimmering cloak covered the top, with a sparkling gold _N _in the center. A ball of light was glowing in the middle, its contents too bright too see.

"Fifi." Cake sniffed back tears. "It's so beautiful."

"Yeah. The embarrassment was worth it after all."

Suddenly, the ball of light began to flame. A hundred swans spouted from it, squawking at them. They flew over to the two girls and stopped as if there were a wall. _"We know what you seek. And for your integrity, you shall receive it."_

A beam, glowing green, shot at Fionna. She gasped as she felt herself being lifted into the air. She looked down and saw that Cake was jumping up and down with excitement. The swans cawed.

Fionna felt something happen. It was like wisps of life were passing in and out of her, gracefully and both harshly. It felt like she was sitting completely still as stone in shimmering water. Her mind felt open. Like someone had opened it like a jar and all of her thoughts were pouring out into the world in sparkling gems.

And when it was done, Fionna looked down.

She screamed.

The Armor of Noredlez was a simple chest plate, helmet, and wings. It was made out of bouncy balls sewn together magically. The helmet was a rainbow afro with swirls sticking out of it at random. The wings were made out of rubber chicken wings molded together to make two full wings. It looked more like armor for a clown than a heroin.

_**"THIS ARMOR IS RIDICULOUS!"**_

The swans gave her hundreds of thumbs-ups.

"NO! NOT-" Fionna jabbed up a thumb angrily.

"Don't worry, Fifi." Cake comforted her. "I know tons of guys who wear ridiculous armor. Wendel the Weird, Shenzii the Strange, Oren the Odd. And they're all-" She gave a thumbs-up.

"I DON'T NEED THIS!" Fionna ripped off the hat, the wings, and the chest plate and threw it to the floor of the hall with a booming clang.

At the exact same time, the door to the hall flung open loudly. Fionna and Cake jumped.

"YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO MY LECTURE!" Ghost Girl shrieked. "I GAVE YOU IMPORTANT FACTS THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS! AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME? BY TURNING YOUR BACK ON ME WHEN MY BACK IS TURNED ON YOU? I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH THAT."

Her skin began to tear into pieces. Her dress began to turn black and torn. Her hair began to spike out at random like it was electrified. Her mouth turned into a void of razor teeth. Soon, all that was left of the usual kind Ghost girl was a monster that was over twenty feet tall, with sickly green skin, horribly black hair, and a torn black dress with red eyes and a snarling mouth. The swans disappeared in fear.

"What do we do?" Fionna asked her sister. She had no plans. She couldn't kill the Ghost Girl-she was already dead.

"Put on the Armor!" exclaimed Cake. She picked up the chest plate, hat, and wings and pressed them to Fionna's body. "It's the only way to defeat her!"

"NEVER!" Kicking out the idea of not being able to kill the Ghost Girl, Fionna brandished her ruby sword. The glowing ball of light at the other end of the room made it glow a bright crimson, and it dazzled with every move. She charged at the Ghost Girl, but she simply ran straight through her. It felt like passing through a shower of icy water. She fell on her face with a smack.

The Ghost Girl picked Fionna up from her backpack and began to inhale. Fionna saw the gold vapor that was seeping through her teeth. The exact same thing had once happened with Marshall Lee's mother. And she began to feel the exact same way. Fionna's brain felt like water. Her insides were hollow, like someone had gutted her like a fish. Her nerves felt like noodles. Her arms and legs felt like jelly. Her field of vision began to fill with bright white spots. Fionna's brain felt like water. Her insides were hollow, like someone had gutted her like a fish. Her nerves felt like noodles. Her arms and legs felt like jelly. Her field of vision began to fill with bright white spots.

"Hey!"

Ghost Girl and Fionna turned. Cake had put on the Armor of Noredlez herself, and now stood ten feet tall. She was glaring at the Ghost Girl. "Unhand the human!"

"Noredlez?" Ghost Girl dropped Fionna to the ground. Fionna blindly crawled away, feeling as if she had woken up from a thousand years of sleep. "B-but you died! I saw you! You put yourself in the armor and-"

"I know what I have done! Have you been lurking in my cave all these years? Go outside and get some sunlight!"

Ghost Girl whimpered and flew out of the hall into the cave. Then she flew out into the sunlight. Fionna and Cake shut their eyes from the blinding flash of light.

"Thank you Fionna and Cake!" Normal Girl exclaimed. Her skin was now tan instead of transparent. Her usual green hair was now brown, and her eyes were blue. Her sundress was still white, though solid now instead of transparent. She was human, and apparently knew that Cake was not Noredlez. "You have freed me of my addiction of Varity and brought me back to my normal form!"

"We couldn't have done it without the power of humiliation." smiled Cake. Fionna winked at her.

The sky outside went black.

Thunder clapped.

Red lightning cut through the sky.

Fionna groaned. "Why now?"

Lady Lott laughed at the sight before her: a dopey normal girl, the stupid human girl, and the idiot cat wearing the ridiculous armor. Her cackling laughter echoed off the walls of the cave. "You idiots! Fionna, you have no armor and your sister looks like a clown!" Cake glared. She had hated Lady Lott before, but to call both of them idiots made her seethe rage.

Fionna burst. Her rage, her annoyance, her hatred burst out of her as if a dam had broken free. "WELL AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY DAY STALKING A KID. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, _**GET. A. LIFE.**_"

Normal Girl and Cake burst into booming laughter. Not only was Fionna's insult hilarious, it was 100% true.

Lady Lott did not blush, but the cocky smirk on her face went into an embarrassed frown. "Well...I've just...been...in the...same areas..."

Normal Girl, Fionna, and Cake laughed louder. Lady Lott had eaten her own medicine and didn't have anything to say about it. "Whatever." "Oh, RIGHT." "_Sure._"

"STOP LAUGHING!" Lady Lott shrieked. She looked as if she were about to retort, but she merely paused and stammered, "I...I...WELL AT LEAST I'M MORE-" She gave a sloppy thumbs-up. "-THAN ALL OF YOU!" However, Lady Lott had lost her balance on her horse. She teetered to the left and fell with a booming clang to the floor of the cave. She attempted to move, but only managed to wiggle her fingers and jerk her head. Everything from her neck down as as still as stone. "My armor...it's too heavy...No problem." She moved her foot back in a kicking position in front of a large, beach-ball sized rock. "I'll just bring this rock over here to-" but as her heavy foot collided into the boulder-heavy brick, pain shot up her leg. "AH! I STUBBED MY TOE!"

Fionna, giggling, searched through her backpack and took out the bucket she had used before and dropped it on Lady Lott's head, causing her to yelp. "Here ya go. Free of charge."

Laughing, Cake got onto all of her legs and pulled Fionna onto her. "Let's go, Fifi." Cake grabbed Normal Girl with her right paw (she didn't deserve to be locked up in a cave anymore) and after laughing once more at Lady Lott, they flew out of the cave, the rubber wings of the Armor flapping together. "Fifi, this Armor is totally-" Cake gave a thumbs-up.


	31. Storytelling

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Storytelling**

_Title Card_

_Fionna steps into the jungle, the animals, big and small, staring down at her in curiosity._

"Fifi." whimpered Cake tragically. "My teddy. Get me my Tedee..."

Fionna walked over to Cake as she lay in her drawer-bed. Cake had been acting like this ever since she woke up an hour ago: unmoving and whimpering. But Fionna simply guessed that she had finished her book that they had found in some old Fungi War ruins. She had been droning on and on about how tragic it was. What was it called? _Blotterchip Frown? Cotterdrip Clown? _Something like that. "I'll get your Tedee. Where is she?"

Cake pointed at the corner of her bed, where her Tedee sat. Its fur was copper, one of its eyes missing, and there were three patches covering it. Fionna gave her a questioning look. "Why don't you just get it yourself?"

"Because." sniffed Cake. "I'm _siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick."_

Fionna frowned, her eyes crinkling at the sight of her tragic sister. "Poor gal." She reached over to the corner of Cake's bed and handed her Tedee over. "Better?"

Cake suddenly threw her Tedee across the room, where it landed on Fionna's bed face-first. "Too much love." Cake let out a pathetic whine.

"Is there anything I can do?" Fionna asked. They didn't have any medicine, and a simple trip to the hospital may have some complications.

"Rubbie me." pleaded Cake.

Fionna stared at her bizarrely. "Rub you?"

"It's what Mom always did."

Fionna shrugged and rubbed behind Cake's ears-

Only to have Cake swat her hand away immediately. "It's not working! I'm SOOOOOO sick...Can I has some soup?"

"Of course, Cupcake. Just a minute."

About ten minutes later, Fionna came back up into the bedroom. She had to admit, she did a good job at the chicken soup. The chunks of white chicken and the nicely boiled noodles swan around in the gold broth, along with a pinch of basil. She couldn't cook alone. They only had their mother's one cookbook in the kitchen. It was over three feet thick, and had to be kept in the corner. Their mother cooked everything from abalone to boiled zyphome. She cautiously stepped over to cake and held out the bowl. "Open wide."

Cake opened her mouth a foot wide. Fionna poured the contents of the soup down her throat. When every drop was out, Cake closed her mouth, her cheeks standing out like a crazy chipmunk. When she swallowed, her stomach stuck out crazily.

"Better?" Fionna asked.

"Ye-" Suddenly, Cake made a choking sound. Fionna gasped and held out the bowl, knowing what was coming. Cake stretched her mouth over the bowl and let the soup out all over again.

Unfortunately, the contents of Cake's mouth hit the bowl and THEN splashed all over Fionna. Fionna screamed as her face was hit with sopping wet soup. Afterwards, Fionna opened her eyes at her sister. She was in misery, her mouth stretched onto her lap. Fionna helped her place it back onto her muzzle. "What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me a story." begged Cake, her eyes bright with tears.

"Alright." Fionna smiled, thinking of what stories their mother had told them, like _Beauty and the Beast _and _Alice in Wonderland. _Finally, she settled on _Rapunzel. _"Once upon a time-"

"NO!"

Fionna started as Cake whimpered, "I've already heard that story before."

Fionna's forehead crinkled. "But you already heard all of my stories."

"Make me a new one." pleaded Cake softly.

Fionna shrugged. Making up a story sounded easy enough. "I can do that. Once upon-"

"NO!"

Fionna started again, waiting for Cake to explain her outburst. When she didn't, Fionna asked, "What's the matter?"

"I don't wanna made-up story. I need a REAL story."

"Hmm..." Fionna paused. She knew what she had to do: go out, explore, and make up the story as she went along. For Cake. "You wait just a minute."

Fionna ran down the stairs, through the living room, and out the door. "OKAY WORLD!" she shouted at the cloudy blue sky. "GIMME A STORY FOR CUPCAKE!"

She looked around. A star-shaped leaf drifted through the air. When Fionna looked closer, a slug was obviously seen on it. Fionna laughed in triumph and ran back up to the bedroom. "Cupcake!" Her sister sat up excitedly, a beam across her muzzle. "I know a story that will cure you! A SLUG! No, wait. A LEAF fell."

"Then what happened?" Cake pleaded for more.

"The SLUG was ON the LEAF. The end."

At first, Cake only blinked. Then she groaned very loudly and grabbed her stomach. "That story made me feel a million times worse. Fionna, a story has to have...EXCITEMENT!" Her voice rose happily. "Romance." Her features went soft and lovingly. "VIOLENCE!" Her paws went into fists. _"Suspense." _Her voice was dramatic and her eyes were wide. "And a happy ending."

"But I dunno how to-"

"It's OK, Fifi." sighed Cake. "Just dig me a grave. Actually, two graves. One for my guts and one for my face. Cos when I die, my guts are gonna come spewing out of my face. Imagine that."

Fionna immediately closed her eyes and concentrated. Her brain began to feel like stone. Soon, she was gasping and panting. "I can't do this myself."

"Here." Cake grabbed a piece of paper and very fancily drew a list of story elements. "Make it with all these things."

"I will!" Fionna ran down the ladder.

As she left, Cake jumped out of her bed and began to dance happily. She twisted and swayed and curved. "I'm not really sick! I'm not really sick! WOO!" She did a back-flip.

* * *

><p>Fionna walked through the jungle. The grass was dark, the mud black, and the trees were vined and mossy. Random puddles of water peppered the land. Pretty flowers bloomed on the bushes and trees, and fruits, ripe and fresh and poisonous, hung from the limbs. Fionna took out the paper and read the first fancy scrawl: <em>Romance.<em>

"Romance." She repeated to herself. "There has to be a hundred animals kissing around here. I just have to look." So she began. She looked down at a hollow log before her. She ripped off the top and looked inside. A boy and a girl termite were sitting next to each other. "What about you two? Are y'all in love?"

The girl termite was not pleased. Stiffly, she said, "Ki jan ou oze entèvni nan dat nou yo?"

"Uh..." Fionna blinked.

"DISPARÈT mwen anvan m 'chire OUT-OU"

Fionna awkwardly covered the log once more. She searched around until she heard a snoring sound coming from the ground. She looked down to see a small burrow. Bending down, she looked inside and saw a boy and girl rabbit sleeping side by side.

Instead of talking calmly, however, she yelled, "ARE Y'ALL KISSIN' IN THERE?!"

Alarmed, the two rabbits thumped around in their small burrow madly before they crashed into each other and fell on their backs. Fionna frowned. "Maybe I ought to approach more...calmly..." Smiling, she began to march forward. "Normal gal. Jungle gal. Normal jungle gal."

After a few minutes, she came to a small clearing, with only grass and a tree stump. On top of the stump, a bufflehead duck was laying on his stomach. Below, a Fennec fox with her large ears and bushy tail was lying against the stump. Fionna stumbled over something and landed on her face with an oomph. The bufflehead and Fennec jumped and turned to her. Fionna picked herself and began to say something, but seeing how awkward it would be, she began to dig the tips of her Mary Janes into the grass uncomfortably. "So...uh...yeah...um...can I...watch you two...kissing...?"

The bufflehead and the Fennec jumped a foot high and gawked at her. Finally, the bufflehead yelled, "Are you crazy?"

"What the grease, girl?" the Fennec fox scolded.

"Oh...yeah...uh..." Fionna stammered quickly. "I don't REALLY wanna...I mean, that'd be gross...I just...for my sister...She needs...she's gonna die...unless I tell her about you kissing...and fighting...and having a happy ending...if that's alright, I mean."

"What a sicko..." scoffed the bufflehead. "You are one sick weirdo, missy."

"Yeah what's this 'sister's' name, huh?" asked the Fennec fox.

"Cake!" said Fionna. "Her name's Cake!"

"What kind of name is Cake?" the Fennec fox stood to her feet. "Come on, Booba, let's get outta here."

"Yeah, come on, Fennecia." Booba and Fennecia began too walk away.

"NO!" shrieked Fionna. "Cupcake means this!" She lunged at the two of them and grabbed them by their fur and feathers. They shrieked and honked, but soon, Fionna had both of them in her grip. She began to move their heads together with great struggle as they tried to fight back. "Just...c'mon..."

"No!" protested Booba as he tried to clamp down on Fionna's arm.

"W-wait!" Fennecia began to claw at Fionna.

But even so, as Fionna pushed them closer and closer to one another, their beck and muzzle brushed against one another. Disgusted, they pulled away.

"It's just...a kiss..." smiled Fionna while panting.

However, Booba was red with rage. Literally. He looked like a walking fireball. He hissed at Fionna in a very scary way, _**"WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT? I'M IN LOVE WITH MS. SWAN. AND NOW I'M SOILED!" **_He dashed away, his anger leaving puffs of steam in his tracks.

Fennecia cried out in sorrow. Fionna turned to her. "What's the matter?"

"I really DID want to kiss Booba!" cried Fennecia desperately. "I'm secretly in love with HIM!"

"That's great!" beamed Fionna, glad she had some happiness come from it all.

"No." sobbed Fennecia. "Now he'll never love me!" Before Fionna could retort, she pounced away.

"Okay..." sighed Fionna. She really stunk at this. "That was not really normal...But I have to save Cupcake." Angrily, she took out Cake's list of things in a story and ripped out the piece that said 'Romance' and read the next line. "Violence."

After a few minutes of searching through the forest, she found a large lioness sleeping on a bed of grass. Her yellow-gold hair was silky-smooth, and her nails were long and sharp. She looked violent enough. "Hey," Fionna said, but when there was no answer, she yelled it louder. "HEY!"

The lioness's amber eyes fluttered open. She gracefully lifted her head and looked up at the human girl before her.

"Do you wanna fight?" asked Fionna.

The thought of the lioness being regal and elegant and snobby completely vanished. Instead of snarling at Fionna to get lost, the lioness's eyes grew wide and she jumped onto her paws, her silky tail waving back and forth in a blur. "GLOB YEAH! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE!" She crouched down, arching her back in a pounce and snarled-

"Oh no you don't."

A large paw picked her up by the fur on her neck. A lion, obviously the lioness's father, was glaring over her, his claws sunk in her fur to hold her back, his tawny hair in a glowing crown. "I've told you before, no fighting." He gave her a quick bop on the head.

"Okay, listen," said Fionna calmly, "I need someone to fight me. I don't care if it's your daughter or yourself, but-"

"NO!" The Lioness threw herself out of her father's grip. "I'M GOING TO DO THIS! YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING!"

The Lioness pounced greatly at Fionna, thrashing out her paws. But Fionna simply span, delivering a kick to the Lioness's furry cheek. The Lioness fell in a heap on the ground. The Lion burst into tears and knelt beside his daughter (living) body, glaring at Fionna. "YOU KILLED HER!"

"Dad." The Lioness fidgeted. "Get off."

"YOU KILLED HER AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!"

"IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE!" Fionna ran off, panicked. After a few minutes of making sure no one would follow her, she slowed to a walk and sighed. "These animals are crazy. They need help, not messin' with. But Cupcake's gonna die! I gotta keep going!" She took out the list again and ripped off 'Violence.' Now she needed some suspense.

"Let's see..." She looked at her surroundings-a half-buried dagger. A broken, moldy computer. A leaf on the grass. And a small patch of sleeping baby chipmunks in a tree trunk.

Fionna smiled at the sight of the chipmunks. She walked up to the tree and picked up a stick on the ground. She rubbed it together in her hands amazingly fast until a flam caught on it. But as she raised it over the leaves inside the trunk, she began to feel very sad. imagined what was about to happen.

_Fionna cackled as she came up to the sleeping chipmunks awake and look up at her. They see the flame on the stick and they fall over, dying of fright. The flaming stick in Fionna's grasp slipped and fell onto their bodies, and a minute later, nothing remained in the tree trunk but ash._

_A father chipmunk crawled into sight, his cheek bulging with nuts. He looked around for his children and turned to Fionna. "Have you seen my children?"_

Fionna angrily crushed the twig beneath the sole of her foot. "I WON'T DO IT! I HAVE TO STOP! But Cupcake needs me...BUT I CAN'T KEEP HURTING PEOPLE! But Cupcake may die. BuT...BuT..." Fionna's voice changed with every letter. Finally, she just sighed and-

Something hit her on the head. She yelped as pain shot down her neck. She looked down to see a moldy rock at her feet. She angrily turned around, expecting someone. "Who threw tha-" She screamed.

Animals pounced on her. The Lion, Booba, Fennecia, the rabbits, the termites, even the baby chipmunks. And there were a lot of animals she had never even encountered in her journey, like turtles and woodpeckers, and snakes, otters, beavers, squirrels, and so on. Their weight tackled her to the ground. They sunk their teeth and fangs into her skin, causing her to scream. Their claws scratched at her madly. Soon, her skin was covered in bloody scratches and holes where teeth had injected inside her. Fionna squirmed and screamed until she choked out: "ARE YOU GUYS GONNA EAT ME!"

The Lion retracted his fangs from her ear. "You'll see."

Fionna began to sniffle in fear until she beamed in realization. "Hey! This is REALLY suspenseful! Don't worry, Cupcake!" She cried, just as a figure crept up behind her and the animals, a heavy, thick stick in hand. "I'll-!"

And the figure brought the stick down on her head.

* * *

><p>Fionna groaned. She felt stiff and sore. She was pressed together, her knees to her chest. She opened her eyelids just enough to look down at her body. Her scratches and sores and torn clothes were completely repaired. But then she noticed she was locked inside something, like a brown cage. She opened her eyes all the way and gasped. All of the animals of the jungle-ever single one-were surrounding her. They were looking up at her as she swayed in the cage, cruel, knowing smiles on their faces. Then Fionna looked down. The cage was swaying over a surging vortex. Random colors swirled around, from air force blue to zymenchlora. Bolts of electricity popped out. Noises sounded out from it, roars and caws of every animal imaginable. "What's happening?" Fionna yelped.<p>

"The Sacrament of Jungle Appeal!" a voice cried. Fionna turned to her left and saw a Jungle Witch. Her hair was long and silvery, shimmering with every move. Her eyes were completely green-no pupils or corneas, just green. Her dress was a shimmering jungle green, with drapes of gold on the sides.

The animals let out a chorus of "Huzzah!"

"Fionna the Human Girl," continued the Jungle Witch. "For your crimes against the animals of the jungle you must enter the Earth and become one with the soil.

Fionna stammered, "D-Don't I get a trial or something?"

"NO! LOWER THE CAGE!"

The cage began to very slowly move towards the vortex. Fionna whimpered to herself. "I'm totes gonna die. And when Cupcake doesn't get a story, she'll die too! Unless she hears my story about dying...that'd be good...But I still don't have a happy ending! Quick, what was the 'happy ending' spell the Merman King taught me? Oh, no, wait, that only works underwater. I know!" Fionna turned to all of the jungle creatures. "OK, obviously, I'm about to die, but it's not too late for you guys! I may be busy dying, but y'all need to get busy living! Booba-" Fionna pointed a the bufflehead. "You love Ms. Swan. Just tell her!"

Ms. Swan gasped in surprise. "What?"

"Yeah, he loves you!" repeated Fionna.

"I've wanted to date you for YEARS!" Ms. Swan exclaimed in pure joy. "You really love me?"

Booba blushed wildly. "I do."

The animals let out another chorus of "Huzzah!"

"Fennecia-" Fionna turned to the Fennec fox. "You need to face the facts: Booba isn't interested. You need to move on."

Fennecia sighed as Mrs. Otter gave her a pat on the back. "She's right. It's for the best."

"And you!" exclaimed Fionna. "Teenage Lioness!"

"What?" the wild cat inquired.

"You need to listen to your Dad!" explained Fionna. "You don't need to go around fighting strangers in the jungle!"

"Yeah!" The Lion gave his daughter another swat on the head.

"Lion," Fionna continued, "Stop swatting your daughter. She's not a baby anymore."

"She's right." the Lion smiled at his daughter. "It's time to let you grow up!"

"HUZZAH!" The animals cheered.

"Mr. Ox!" Fionna turned to an ox-looking creature with a bag on its head. "Take the bag off! Nobody will judge you on how you look!"

"HUZZA-"

Mr. Ox took off the bag.

"-EEEEEEEEEW!" "GROSS!" "AAH!"

"Put the bag back on!" Fennecia cried. Mr. Ox shrugged and put the bag back over his head.

"HUZZAH!"

"SILENCE!" cried the Jungle Witch. She did not look pleased. "Fionna the Human, for disturbing our lives and the order of the jungle...We thank you."

"Whaaaaat?" Fionna beamed in delight.

"Our lives have improved greatly ever since you wandered into this jungle. You are free."

The cage disappeared. Fionna yelped, expecting to fall into the vortex, but the vortex was no longer present. Only earth. Once she had landed, the animals waved goodbye and dispersed to their new lives. Bubbly with joy, Fionna ran as quickly as possible. "I'm coming for ya, Cupcake!"

* * *

><p>As the silhouette of the Treehouse stood against the moonlight, Fionna prayed silently, panting and huffing. 'Hang on, Cupcake...' Finally, she burst through the door. The living room was empty, nothing but furniture and treasure and a sleeping Beema. Fionna heard a strange melody from up in the kitchen. Thinking that her sister was already starting her funeral, Fionna climbed like a monkey up the ladder.<p>

She gasped.

Cake was dressed in a frilly pink apron, dancing around the kitchen. At the table, her Tedee sat with a chipped cup before him. Music was blasting from a boom box in the corner. As she danced, Cake mixed up the contents of a bowl. She was singing at the top of her lungs. _"I'm not really sick! I'm not really sick! I'm not really sick!" _As she did a twirl, her eyes landed on a flabbergasted Fionna. Cake nearly dropped the bowl in her paws. "Fifi!"

Fionna just gawked.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" Cake looked over at her Tedee and hid her under the table.

"YOU'RE NOT REALLT SICK!" Shrieked Fionna. She was seething rage. She had upset all those animals, humiliated and tortured, and all for nothing. Her sister had lied to her. And she had been so worried that she was going to die. _"YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A __**BRUTE!"**_

Tears welled up in her sister's eyes. "I am a brute. I faked being sick..."

_**"WHY?!"**_

"I wanted to be alone so I could do weird stuff. That you wouldn't see..." She looked up shamefully at her sister, who had her back to her. She smiled and put a paw on her shoulder. "But I bet you have an awesome story to tell-"

"NO TOUCHY!" Fionna slapped her sister's paw away. Then she sat on the couch. But Cake noticed that instead of looking angry, she looked dizzy. Her face was tinted yellowish-green. "Fifi, are you alright?"

"I feel sick..." Fionna groaned as she curled up on the couch.

"I know what'll make you feel better." Cake smiled and handed Fionna her Tedee. "My Tedee." She rubbed Fionna's ear. "Rubbie. And best of all: a good story. Once upon a time-"

Fionna snored loudly. Cake smiled. "The end."


	32. Sluggish Love

**Wheenona-**is a gigantic 'snail' that needs Fionna and Cake's help. She is very innocent and weak. She is a gigantic black slug, with small stripes of white going down her back. She is very lonely, and comes to Fionna and Cake in hopes of finding a partner.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**SLUGGISH LOVE**

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake frown as Wheenona continues to sob and bawl before them._

Cake flipped through the channels on Beema's screen madly, at lightning speed. She was sprawled across the couch, a very bored expression across her face. Fionna was sitting next to her, reading the latest edition of _The Aaa Analysis, _in the section that was reviewing Mother Kee's new fruit pies at her store. There was nothing to adventure about today. It was lazy, and boring, and overall amusing.

The music video for _"Em evol uoy, Uoy evol I" _by _Yenbar _came on the screen. Cake growled in annoyance. She hated this song. She tried to turn the channel on the remote, but the screen on Beema remained. Cake frowned. The batteries were dead. "Beema, turn the channel."

Beema didn't. She began to move back and forth to the music.

Cake sat up on her elbow. "Beema, turn the channel!"

Beema still didn't. The screen changed to the volume changing, and the the music was soon blasting from Beema's speakers. Cake hissed and covered her ears. "Beema, come on, that is the most annoying song ever."

Beema didn't listen. She sat up and danced around to the rhythm of the music. Cake glared and turned to Fionna. "Hey, Fifi, can I borrow the paper for a second."

"Sure." Fionna handed the newspaper over to her sister.

Cake took the paper and rolled it into a tight cylinder. Then she angrily brought it down on Beema's head. Beema yelped. "Bad! Bad Beema!" Cake said as she continued to hit the small computer with the newspaper. "Bad!" Beema looked up at Cake, angry. "Now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done."

Beema glared at Cake for a moment before marching over to the corner of the room, plopping down on the wood.

The far wall of the room broke into a million shards of wood. Beema flew across the room and crashed into Cake. A gigantic black snail roared at the three people in the room shrilly. Fionna noticed it wasn't roaring, it was sobbing madly. It charged into the room.

"SNAIL ATTACK!" Fionna and Cake screamed. Cake grabbed Beema quickly and started to run, but the form of the snail suddenly crashed into the three of them. Fionna groaned in disgust. The black snail felt like a big wall of goo.

Soon enough, they smashed into the other wall of the all winced as they felt themselves being bruised and scratched. Fionna felt something drip down on her arm. She looked down and saw a big blob of disgusting goo on her arm. She screeched in disgust and flung it off. "CUPCAKE, HOW DO YOU FIGHT A SNAIL?"

"Hold on, Fifi. I got this!" Cake began to stretch her arm out. Fionna watched as her sister's arm found its way to the kitchen cupboard. Cake opened the cupboard and pushed around in the cupboard, past the basil, parsley, Parmesan, and so on. Finally, she felt the familiar touch of the salt container. She picked it out of the cupboard and stretched her arm back to her. She smashed the top of the container on the wall and pointed the container at the snail, the white salt clear inside. "I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS, MISSY!"

"S-salt?" Suddenly, the black snail stopped sobbing and shrieking. The goo coming from her skin stopped oozing out on the two girls. "But I thought you girls w-were heroins."

"Hold up, Cupcake." Fionna lowered her sister's hand. "We are heroins. We thought you were attacking us. Why'd you break in here all angry, oozing all that gross goo all over us?"

"That's not my angry goo." The gigantic snail sniffed. "That's my _sad _goo. My name's Wheenona. I'm...s...SAAAAAAAAD!"

Fionna and Cake screeched as the disgusting goo splattered all over them, smelling foul and feeling unearthly. Fionna peeked through her slime-caked eyelids. "JUST CALM DOWN AND TELL US WHAT'S WRONG!"

"I'm lonely." Wheenona sniffed sadly. "I need a boyfriend. I'm already five years old! Please help me."

"Cupcake! Heroin Huddle!" Fionna and her sister huddled together (more or less hugging, since they were already pressed against each other and the wall.) Fionna's voice was muffled against her sister's fur. "Whaddya think?"

"I think our house is all gooed up." scoffed Cake, her muzzle pressed against her sister's waist.

"Yeah, but she's just a little goober lookin' for love." assured Fionna, smiling a bit.

There was a beating silence, and then Cake smiled warmly. "Alright, let's help. Huddle break."

Fionna and her sister broke apart (by which they simply stopped hugging). Fionna looked up at the giant snail, smiling. "OK, SISTER, WE'LL HELP."

The gigantic snail cheered. She tossed Fionna and Cake to her left and charged through the wall, showering the two girls in shards of wood. She broke out on the other side and began to pull up. The base of the Treehouse began to crack and split. Soon, the entire base was sitting on Wheenona's backside. Fionna and Cake yelped as they were swerved to the right from the force.

Fionna ran up the ladder to the outside tree limb. She climbed up the wooden spokes until she reached the boat. She climbed inside with Cake, the sun being guarded off by the umbrella in the boat. Fionna ran over to the edge and looked down at the gigantic snail as the grass and bushes and trees moved by them. "DON'T TAKE OUR HOUSE!"

The snail stopped. Fionna and Cake teetered from the sudden cease of movement. The snail's head turned to them, her little eyes welled with tears. "Y-you're going t-to leave me?"

Fionna and Cake shared tragic glances. Then they smiled and looked back down at the snail. "Easy there, no one's gonna leave you." sighed Fionna.

The snail cheered and began to charge forward again. Fionna turned to her sister. "Hey, Cupcake. You know what time it is?"

"I dunno. But you're probably gonna say..." the two girls fist-bumped. _"Love Time."_

"Alright, Wheenona." Fionna said to the gigantic snail. "If you want a boyfriend, you need to be yourself."

"How do I be myself?" asked Wheenona.

"Uh..." Fionna frowned and turned to her sister. "How does she be herself?"

"Whee, you just do whatever you want." smiled Cake in assurance. "Just make sure it comes from the inside."

"Like sad goo?"

"NO! Nonononononono!" The two girls screamed at the exact same time. Cake continued. "You _keep_ that kinda stuff inside."

Cake suddenly jumped out of the boat. As she flew through the air, she began to grow in size. By the time she had landed, she was completely huge, the size of a yacht, and was eye-level with Wheenona. She turned around and cupped her paws around her eyes, in binocular-shapes. "Let's find you a guy."

She observed their surroundings. Mountains. Grass. Trees. Bushes. Yada yada...Aha! Cake smiled as she saw a decent-looking male snail in the distance, with a great big black shell with flames going up the sides. "Perfect." Cake shrunk back down and stretched into the boat once more.

Wheenona moved forward nervously. As the male snail caught sight of her, he stood straighter, sucking in as much as he could. "Hey."

"Hi." Wheenona said very quickly. Fionna and Cake glanced at each other.

"You seem reasonable." The male snail smiled. "We should go see a movie sometime."

"She's so got this." smiled Fionna. Cake nodded.

However, Wheenona was freaking out. She was sweating like crazy (by which I mean she was oozing out madly) and was trembling all over.

"I like scary movies." The male snail offered.

"Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh."

The male snail frowned. "Are you OK?"

Wheenona screamed. The male snail jumped. Wheenona swayed back and forth madly. Fionna and Cake fell flat on their backs. Inside the Treehouse's base, the furniture was toppling over, shattering, and swaying. The contents of all the cupboards and cabinets were spilling out onto the floor, rolling across the room. The plates shattered. In Fionna's room, her silver sword fell from the shelf, splitting her bed in half.

Fionna and Cake watched as the male snail sped away. Fionna turned to her sister. "Cupcake! Our house! What do we do?"

"I got it." Cake grew big again and stepped next to Wheenona. When Wheenona saw her, she ceased her panicking and silenced. "Hey, are you alright?" asked Cake in concern. "You kinda freaked out there. You need to calm down. You're scaring guys and jackin' up our house."

Wheenona sighed heavily. She looked up at Cake with damp eyes. "Are you gonna leave me?"

"Aw, who could leave you?" cooed Cake. "C'mere." She wrapped her arms around Wheenona, ignoring how slimy and gooey her fur was getting.

"Thank you for not leaving me." sniffed Wheenona.

"Your insecurity is what makes you endearing." Cake assured her.

"OK, break it up." Fionna called down with a smirk on her face. "We have boys to attend to."

"Yeah, Wheenora." Cake let go of the giant black snail and stretched down into the boat. "We need to get you talkin' to some boys."

"Talkin to boys is hard." sighed Wheenora.

"No it's not." Cake assured her. "Watch. Fifi, you be the girl snail. I'll be the guy snail."

Cake's form began to stretch and morph. Soon, she somewhat resembled a male snail, but covered in fur and such. Fionna yelped and shuttered. "Do I have to?"

"C'mon, Fifi, we're just pretending." Cake assured her. "Do it for love."

Fionna muttered something. She looked down at Wheenora, who was silently pleading her. Fionna smiled. "OK. I'll do it for this gal." Fionna turned to Cake, who was waiting for her to start. "Hello."

Cake changed her voice so that it was low and deep, like a man's. "Hey there, sweet thang."

Fionna shivered with disgust.

"How you doin'?" asked 'Cake.'

Fionna silenced for a moment. Then she screamed, "NO! I can't do this, Cupcake. I. AM. OUT."

Wheenona was staring at them both. "I thought you were doing pretty good."

"Here, Fifi," Cake offered her sister. "This time _you _be the guy and _I'll _be the girl."

Cake's form changed again, this time into a female snail. "Hello."

Fionna stared. "Uh...Hey there...?"

"So what are you up to?" Cake batted her eyelashes.

"Uh...trying to...find a girlfriend...?"

"See, Wheenora, it's easy." Cake morphed back into her normal form. "Just do what we did."

* * *

><p>Wheenora approached a yellow snail with a simple green snail. It started with Wheenora saying hello. He said hello back. Then Wheenora asked what he was up to. He said he was just standing around. And somehow, it all ended with the male snail speeding away.<p>

Wheenona began to sniffle.

"Aw, c'mere." Cake grabbed Fionna and stretched to Wheenora's size again and jugged her tightly as Fionna stood on the ground.

"I wish you two were guys." Wheenora sighed.

"Stay focused, Wheenona." Cake said as she backed up so that she could look Wheenona in the eyes. "Do you have any cool talents guys may like?"

"No..."

"Uhm...Hey, Fifi, show her how to fight."

Cake stretched into the Treehouse window. When she drew her hand back out, Fionna's practicing dummy and Fionna's bo staff were in her paw. She set the dummy on the ground and handed Fionna the bo staff.

Fionna did a small show. She began to spin the bow staff madly, bringing it over her head and to her other side. Then she twirled it above her head, jumped in a spin, and brought it hard on the ground like a professional.

Cake nodded in approval. "You think you can do that, Wheenona?"

"I dunno." Wheenona did a shrugging movement.

Cake pondered for a moment. "I know! How about some musical talents?"

Cake raised and lowered her voice in a singing melody. Then she looked up at Wheenona again. "Can you do that?"

Wheenona paused for a moment, making a 'hmmmm' sound through her mouth. Then two arms sprouted from her form and grabbed the bo staff.

Wheenona raised and lowered her voice in a song. Fionna and Cake had to admit, she was actually pretty good. Wheenona then began to twirl the bo staff in a very professional way, minus the jumping and turning.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Eddie." the male snail, covered in a nice blue shell, turned to his friend. "What's that sound?"<p>

Eddie listened. There was a magical melody spreading around them, raising and lowering like a siren's song. "I have absolutely no clue, Noah."

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake cheered Wheenona on. Then they heard a sort of rumbling in the distance. Not like a shaky, uneven rumbling, but a more smooth rumbling, like a thousand slowly-moving snails.<p>

Just like that, tons of snails began to pop up in the horizon. Burgundy snails, garden snails, giant Ghana snails, giant African snails, and so on. One after the other, they were making their way towards the three girls.

"These guys look pretty serious." frowned Fionna, worrying what was going to happen.

"Let's let Wheenona do her thing." Cake grabbed Fionna and stretched them back up into the boat. They awaited for whatever was going to happen. "You got this, Wheenona!"

Wheenona finally noticed the incoming snails. She began to sing and twirl the bo staff louder and faster. The snails moved in faster.

"Look at her go!" cheered Cake.

"She's bringing in a lot of guys..." said Fionna in great worry.

Soon, Wheenona was surrounded by snails. And the snails were swaying and dancing back and forth to the music. But they were bumping up against the Treehouse. Wood and leaves began to pour everywhere. If the Treehouse had been damaged when Wheenona freaked out, then it was absolute chaos in the Treehouse now. The shards, pieces, and chunks of all the Treehouse's contents were FLYING across the room, breaking through the windows and floorboards and tearing up everything in their paths. Beema was flying left to right, screaming.

"WHEENONA!" screamed Fionna. _"THESE DUDES ARE JACKING UP OUR HOUSE! __**STOP!"**_

"No." Wheenona said simply, pausing from her singing. "Boys are finally noticing me!" She then continued in her singing, much louder than before.

Fionna felt a sudden lurch, along with a sickening crack. She and Cake looked over the edge of the boat at the branch that was holding them up. It wasn't used to such reckless movement. Splinters of wood were jutting out from it. And with a loud crack, the boat gave away.

Just as the boat began to fall, Cake grabbed her sister and stretched them down to the ground, the boat crashing next to them. Cake turned to her sister. "Let's wedge the house off of her."

Fionna nodded and ripped out her ruby sword. She jabbed it under the Treehouse's mass, and began to pull down. But it was no use to do so, as the ruby sword-SOLID RUBY-began to BEND like RUBBER.

Cake put her paws flat and stretched them under the Treehouse. She pulled and pulled, her muscles straining, her fur soaked with sweat, but it did absolutely nothing. With a gasp, she stopped. Then she felt something on her paws. Raising a furry eyebrow, she pulled out her paws, a disgusting slimey goo pulling out with them. "It's no use, Fifi. It's stuck together with Snail Slime."

Fionna was suddenly struck to the ground by one of the male snails. She landed on the grass, flat on her back. Cake began to run for her, but just as she was five feet away, a snail hit her between the shoulders, and she landed right next to Fionna.

The two girls looked at their house as it was being torn to pieces in vain. Wheenona refused to do anything. The male snails refused to stop. They didn't care about love anymore. No lovr had THIS much destruction.

Suddenly, Cake was hit with a flashback.

_She smashed the top of the container on the wall and pointed the container at the snail, the white salt clear inside. "I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS, MISSY!"_

_"S-salt?" _

Cake stared at the snails. Their skin. Skin that was slimey, and gooey, and stretchy. Skin that was horribly penetrable to SALT.

Cake's eyes narrowed in courage. "I'm goin' in."

"What?" exclaimed Fionna.

But just as soon as she said it, Cake was dashing forward to the house. Fionna called after her, "CUPCAKE! NO! YOU'LL GET SLIMED! OR DANCED ON!"

Cake didn't listen. Her mind was set. Just as she reached the barrier that separated their safety and the snails, she crouched down and began to stretch. She stretched upwards, above the heads of the snails, and through a window (which was very hard, considering the window was covered in sharp shards of glass and the Treehouse was moving madly and she was probably going to get cut very badly.) Once inside, she was shocked.

The entire floor was covered in debris: broken glass, torn pictures, broken furniture, shredded books, demolished bookcases, etc. Not to mention bundles of leaves and splinters of wood. Floorboards from the upper floors littered everything. Gigantic tree limbs jabbed down like swords.

Finally, she saw the cupboard, the salt container inside, glowing out like a beacon to her. She began to stretch her paw across the room, through the furniture and tree limbs. She winced as she felt her arm being squished and cut by the broken shards of furniture and glass. Finally, she reached the cupboard and grabbed the salt container. She pulled her arm back in. And stretched out the window, down to an awaiting Fionna. She turned to her sister and showed her the salt container.

Fionna gasped. But after giving a sad glance over to Wheenona, the snails, and their damaged Treehouse, she gave a tragic nod.

Cake turned on her paw and walked over to the barrier. Stretching up on her legs so that she, Wheenona, and the snails were at eye-length, she raised the salt container. "Wheenona! I'm going to give you to the count of three, missy! One."

No response, just dancing.

"Two."

No response, just singing.

"Three."

No response, just damaging.

"I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this." Cake raised her other paw to the salt contanier. She tipped the container over, expecting at least a very tiny pile of salt, but instead, there was one grain. She brought the salt-bearing paw to her muzzle and blew out a puff of air.

The grain of salt soared through the air, turning and tumbling. No one seemed to notice.

Everything seemed to go slow motion.

First, Wheenona was singing at the top of her lungs.

Then, the salt touched her skin.

And it scalded her face.

A gigantic blister popped up on Wheenona's skin, the size of a large dog. Sizzling, burning, somewhat bubbling. Vapors of steam shot up from it. It was a fiery red, mixed with orange and white. The skin around it was black and burning. Wheenona shrieked in agony. The male snails froze in place and stared. Wheenona reared back in pain. The Treehouse slipped right off her back and crashed onto the grass with a thunderous BOOM!

Wheenona suddenly stopped shrieking. The male snails had formed a wide circle around her, gawking and staring.

"Aw, gross, dude!" a snail cried. "She's naked!"

The snails broke into booming laughter. However, Wheenona did not look offended in any single way. She actually only looked confused. "Naked? But I always look like this."

"Wheenona, you never had a shell?" clarified Cake.

Wheenona shook her head.

"Whee, you're not naked!" exclaimed Cake in laughter. "You're a SLUG!"

"Me? A slug?"

"Yeah, girl!" chuckled Fionna. "That's why you have so much trouble with guy snails! You need some guy SLUGS!"

"But I don't know any guy slugs." frowned Wheenona.

"Actually, I have something to confess."

All attention turned to a single male snail. He was yellow-skinned, with a bright blue shell splashed with red paint. He actually looked rather good-looking, for a snail. As everyone watched, his shell slipped off cleanly. "I'm not a snail. I'm a slug. I only pretended to be a snail because I thought people would judge me."

Wheenona stared.

* * *

><p>"That's gross." groaned Fionna as she watched Wheenona and the male snail, whose name turned out to be Coged, nuzzle each other in front of their Treehouse. After Wheenona and Coged had arranged a date, Wheenona apologized for her stubborness and offered to bring their Treehouse back to the trunk. When she did so, Fionna and Cake went to work and began to fix everything. They worked on assembling the Treehouse's trunk and base together, along with the window. Beema said she was going to take care of all the things inside the house.<p>

"Don't deny love, Fifi," Cake reminded her. "Do not deny love."

TRIVIA

This episode shows that Fionna had more than one sword.

The Land of Aaa has its own newspaper, _The Aaa Analysis._


	33. Control Freak

Lady Leprechaun-She is the leader of the Leprechauns and the empress of the Underland. She is short, with tan skin and flaming, short red hair. Instead of wearing a green skirt, blouse, and apron like her subjects, she wears a green, clover-covered dress with a white undershirt and belt, along with green boots and a green top hat.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried.

CONTROL FREAK

_Title Card_

_Cake feels the Control Freaks enter her body, her eyes flashing bright white._

Fionna carefully climbed up the ladder, one hand reaching for the pegs of the ladder, the other holding a bag of of peanuts and beef jerky to her chest. The night felt good, a nice cool air surrounding her, not freezing but just right. The stars twinkled overhead, some blinded by the grey clouds that were silhouetted by the moonlight. She craned her neck behind her, pausing in her trek up the ladder. "You got the cooler, sis?"

Cake was a yard or behind her on the ladder. Her tail had molded itself into a boxy shape, the cooler fitting perfectly inside. She was climbing up the ladder easily. "I got it!"

"Good." smiled Fionna. "We'll need it."

They finally reached the top of the Treehouse, where the party was going on. They had brought up the indigo armchair, a table for the upcoming snacks, and a boom box that was blasting out _Great Morning _by the Baked Beans. A good few guests were there, LSP, Lollipop Boy, Cinnamon Bun, Beema, Prince Gumball, Lord Monochromicorn, Marshall Lee and so on. LSP and Lollipop Boy were talking away, Cinnnamon bun and a few others were dancing, and Beema was simply sitting on the arm of the armchair. Prince Gumball was sitting in the Boat, a telescope in hand. Marshall Lee was was standing on the roof of another Treehouse section, alone. Lord Monochromicorn was flying in circles overhead. Everyone had a smile on their faces.

"Hey, everyone!" yelled Fionna. "Watch this!"

Silence fell over everyone as they stopped to watch, Lollipop Boy turning off the Boom Box. Fionna turned around completely and crouched. Then she jumped into the air, twirling around rapidly like a figure skater. Then, for just half a second, she was just above the table. She raised the kerkey and peanuts packets above her head and slammed them down on the table professionally before landing on her feet.

Everyone went into booming applause, a few whoops filling the air. Fionna smiled and nodded in appreciation. Cake decided to show off a bit herself.

"Check this out, everyone!" All attention turned to Cake this time. "I got the cooler!"

Cake began to twist her stretchy body. As she did, the cooler missplaced itself and fell from her back. It fell to the floor of the Treetop, bursting open. Ice and water splattered the floor, colas, pops, and waters spreading everywhere. Cake, worried, turned to everyone, expecting a chorus of 'Booooooo.'

Instead, everyone laughed. Not in a cruel way, but in a way that showed they were laughing because she was funny, not because she was acting stupid. Cinnamon Bun walked up to Fionna with a big smile. "Fionna, you always focus an endless amount of energy into everything you do."

"What about me?" Cake said to Cinnamon Bun with a smile. "What do I put my energy into?"

"Uhm..." CB paused, her eyes darting back and forth in worry. "Cake, you don't really focus at all."

Cake (who was putting a bowl of spaghetti into a waffle iron and then closed it, splattering noodles everywhere) turned to the talking pastry. "What?"

"I said you don't focus at all." repeated CB.

"I so focus! What do you think I'm doing here?" She gestured to the waffle iron, which has whisps of smoke coming from it, like small snakes.

"You're stuffing spaghetti into a waffle iron."

Cake was too busy slurping up the burnt spaghetti to listen. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Uhm...Hey, Fionna, do another trick!" CB turned to Fionna quickly to change the subject.

Fionna nodded and did a perfect flip, landing on her feet once more. There was another round of applause.

"You're fantastic, Fionna."

Fionna turned around to see a tall woman in a purple coat, with flaming red hair and emerald eyes, smiling at her. She didn't know her, but perhaps Cake had invited her. "Yeah, thanks! I never really slow down."

As she turned around to view the party, watching everyone enjoy themselves, she felt something on the back of her head. She turned and nearly jumped ten feet high to see the Tall Woman, her forehead pressed to hers. "Never slow down?"

"Please get off."

"So." The Tall Woman pulled back. "Do you think your energy is enough to power a gigantic machine?"

"I'd guess so." shrugged Fionna.

"Good." the Tall Woman began to creep away from the human girl. _"Gooooood."_

Fionna stared as the Tall Woman walked away. Then she turned. Cake was dancing very nicely on the top of the armchair, with LSP and Lord Monochromicorn dancing nearby. She walked over. "Hey, Cupcake."

Cake jumped from the top of the armchair to the seat with a plop. Fionna's forehead creased. "You're friend is super weird, Cupcake."

She turned her head to the left in a gesture. The Tall Woman was at the snack table, using her hands do scoop out handful after handful of carrot dip. When she saw Fionna looking at her, she smiled in a very creepy way, carrot dip spilling from her mouth to the floor of the Treetop.

"I dunno that girl." frowned Cake.

Fionna was surprised. Before she could ask anything else, Prince Gumball let out an announcement. "It's starting! The Aerial Calibration!"

All eyes shot up to the sky, not a single thing made noise. The Aerial Calibration began. In a way, the Aerial Calibration was almost exactly like a meteor shower. Bright meteors rained across the sky brightly, in a celestial beauty. But instead of the meteors being white, every meteor was brightly colored. Some were red, some cyan, some purple, some fuchsia, every color imaginable. One after another, they lit up the sky, falling down gracefully, like teardrops falling from the heavens. Everyone gasped and cheered in awe.

* * *

><p>About two hours later, the party ended. Everyone had gone, thanking them for their invitations, and telling them how great of a time they had. Fionna never saw the Tall Woman leave. She seemed to completely disappear. But Fionna just simply convinced herself that she had left during the Calibration. Once everyone had left, Fionna and Cake began to clean up. Cake took care of all the furniture and the Boom Box, while Fionna picked up all the food, drinks, and litter.. Beema needed to recharge and had fallen asleep the minute everyone was gone. Finally, they were done. Fionna picked up the broom and dustpan, while Cake grabbed the low-battery Beema, and they descended down the ladder.<p>

Cake walked over to Beema's plug and set her down on the pillow. She plugged her cord into the wall. Once the recharging battery icon appeared on the computer's screen, Cake drew a small blanket over here and went upstairs.

She got there just in tip to see Fionna do a spectacular somersault onto her bed. Cake ran over to her drawer-made-bed and stepped in.

Fionna crouched down and spring up, full of energy. "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Mm-hm." Cake murmured sleepily. "I am so tired, though."

"Go to sleep, girl." Fionna jumped back on her bed.

Cake shut the waffle iron on the spaghetti. "Huh?"

"Go. To. Bed." Fionna said slowly, with a humored smile.

"OK." Cake plopped down into her bed and drew her blanket over her fur.

Fionna crawled into her sleeping bag and blew out the candle, letting the nice darkness wash over them. And they both fell into nice, peaceful slumber.

* * *

><p>A dark figure watched the Treehouse from the top of the hill. The figure is a black silhouette, lined with moonlight from the crescent moon above. It slowly slinks down the hill, towards the towering Treehouse.<p>

* * *

><p>Fionna let out the softest of a snore, her body sprawled across the bed. She we dreaming pleasantly, dreaming that she was taking out an entire army of goblins, gold wings on her back and a celestial sword in her hand. She was smiling.<p>

A dark shadow loomed over her. But she didn't seem to notice.

Suddenly, a clammy hand slapped over her mouth, muffling her scream as her eyes flew open.

And then she was pulled out from her bed.

And then everything was black.

* * *

><p>The sunrise was pouring over the horizon, like liquid from a jar's lip. Gold, rose, and red colors bloomed across the sky, lighting up the Treehouse slowly. Sunlight poured through the window, filtering the entire Treehouse with light. Beema turned away from it, already fully charged but unwilling to wake up.<p>

Cake had her body in her bed, snug and peaceful. Small 'Z's seemed to appear in the air around her. Her stomach was growling ferociously, but it didn't seem to bother her.

Suddenly, her belly balled into a fist and socked her in the muzzle.

Cake woke up to the flash of pain. Her eyelids flickered in the new sunlight. She stood on all fours and stretched her body to a fro. She felt her stomach quake. She looked down, seeing it quaver madly with hunger. She pat it gently. "OK, OK, calm down, champ. I'm going to have to slug it today." She rolled over in the bed, falling over the edge and down the ladder on her feat heavily.

She slumped over to Fionna's bed and shook the sleeping form. "Wake up, Fifi, busy day ahead. Starting with Mission Breakfast." There was a beat. "Fifi?"

She pulled the covers back and was mildly surprised. Fifi was no longer in the bed. There was simply a pile of blankets in her place. Fionna wasn't an early-bird. Cake usually woke up before she did. Her tail twitched, as if unsure to be worried or not. Turning around, she scanned the lit room with her eyes. "Where is Fifiiiiii..." She rubbed her furry chin. She began to raise and lower her voice in a song.

_"Where is Fifi?_

_Where is Fifi?_

_Is he in the kitchen?_

_Was she eaten by a chicken?"_

Beema awoke at the song. She unplugged herself from the wall, and, smiling, walked over to a dancing Cake, giving her a _'__**dina, kina, fin, fin.'**_

_"Nooba, Gooba,_

_Violin."_

_**'Moopy**_

_**Doopy**_

_**Sie bin.'**_

_"Arangutang_

_Trash bin!"_

They grabbed one another's hands, spinning in dizzy circles over and over and over.

* * *

><p>Fionna couldn't see anything. The filthy sack covering her head deemed her vision black. Her nose smelt the mildew from it. She was still in her wool pajamas, which was good, because it was a bit chilly where she was. Her hands were bound behind her back by rope. Something was chained to her foot, not allowing her to make a single move to escape.<p>

_"Welcome, Fionna."_

"Humfh?" muffled Fionna. She turned in circles around the chain, expecting something to happen.

_"Remove the sack."_

A hand clasped around the sack around Fionna's head, ripping it off.

Fionna was nearly blown off her feet by the smell in the air. It was SO STRONG. It smelt like mildew, mud, lead, grass, and heavily-scented plants, along with a small pinch of filthy sulfur. She couldn't see anything around her. She was standing in a circle of light, everything else black and dark. But she could make out a tall figure with a sack clasped in his/her palm.

"Thank you." Fionna said. "NOW UNTIE ME SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU WITH THAT SACK!"

The woman stepped out of the shadows, tossing the sack to her feet in annoyance. "Sack time's over."

"Wait a sec..." Fionna stared at the Woman's emerald eyes, purple velvet coat, and flaming red hair. "You're that weird..."

"Yes, the charismatic stranger from the party!" The Tall Woman giggled. "Also...THE LEADER OF THE LEPRECHAUNS." The Tall Woman opened her coat.

She wasn't a Tall Woman after all. She was actually very short, wearing a clover-covered green dress and boots. She was standing on the shoulders of two other Leprechauns wearing simple blouses, skirts, and aprons.

"You're not a Tall weird Woman." Fionna gasped, as if trying to quote the obvious. "You're a buncha..._little _weird _women."_

The two elves and the Lady Leprechaun hopped off one another. Lady Leprechaun spread out her arms. "COME HITHER, MY LEPRECHAUN SISTERS!"

At least a dozen more Leprechauns walked through the darkness. All short, all wearing simple green outfits, with choppy red hair. They were chattering away, murmurs of 'Hello', 'Good day', and 'How are you?' filling the air. Soon, Fionna was trapped in a circle of them.

"Welcome, Fionna," announced Lady Leprechaun, "To...THE UNDERLAND!"

The entire room was filled with light.

It was no wonder this place was called the Underland. The entire kingdom was entirely underground. Not at the very center of the earth, but it was under the the crust of the earth. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of dirt and roots. The light that filled the room was not sunlight, as Fionna had first thought, but it came from mechanical lights in the roof of the kingdom. Fionna also took notice of all the machinery in the kingdom. Machines of every kind were all around. Huge machine the size of houses, medium-sized machines the size of sheds, and puny machined the size of shoeboxes. The machines were covered in gears, switches, buttons, and dials of all sizes. Wires hung down from the ceiling like vines, some as thick as ropes, others as thin as spider strings. Most connected to the machines, but others were severed and cut.

"It's very nice." approved Fionna, looking around a bit. "You guys seem pretty friendly for kidnappers."

A Leprechaun blushed. "Oh shucks..."

"So why not untie me and pretend this never happened?"

"Oh, we couldn't possibly." Lady Leprechaun began to explain. "See, I've been searching aaaaaaaall over Aaa-" she spread out her arms for emphasis "-Searching for an ultimate power source. A living energizer. Something, you might say..._that never slows down."_

"Oh Glob..." Fionna groaned.

"And I finally foun-"

"It's me."

"YES, IT'S YOU!" Lady Leprechaun cheered. "You will have the great honor of powering our chthonian machine: THE TOPSIDEOVERDRIVE!"

Lady Leprechaun gestured a hand over to the single-most-largest machine in the whole kingdom. It was the size of a three-story house. Steam fizzed out of every crack. Dials covered all its flat surfaces. Two ladders led to the flat walkways surrounding the machine. Gears pumped up and down on top. Tubes swirled around it.

"YOU FIEND!" yelled Fionna. In a more confused tone, she added, "And what does that thing do?"

"It will flip the entire world! Then WE'LL be the ones on top!"

"T-that's...BAJENKOIDS!"

"Yes, but the engineering is very sound..." Lady Leprechaun considered a moment. "Take her to the OTHER machine."

A group of Leprechauns walked up behind Fionna. One of them took off the chain from her leg, and for one joyous moment, Fionna thought they were going to set her free instead, but they all grabbed at her until they were holding her parallel above their heads.

A few moments later, Fionna hit something metal and slightly curved beneath her. Looking up, she saw that she was inside a giant hamster-wheel-like machine, completely made of metal.

Lady Leprechaun made another announcement, "THIS IS THE IMPETUOUS CAVYINATOR!"

"You may have captured me," Fionna jumped up, bringing her bound hands beneath her legs so that they were in front of her. "But you can't MAKE me run!"

A Leprechaun jabbed her leg with a long rod. Fionna felt a fiery, scorching pain shoot up and down her leg, like her blood veins were power lines and her bones were made out of sun beams. Fionna began to jog, lucky that her arms were in front of her for some balance. "Well, you can't make me run VERY fast!"

The Leprechaun jabbed her thigh. The scorching pain intensified. She began to go in a run. "Just you wait! Cupcake is on her way right now to jack you gals UP-"

The Leprechaun jabbed her in the back.

* * *

><p>Cake swallowed a mouthful of her tuna-fish sandwich as she sat against the Treehouse's door alongside Beema, who was eating some computer chips. "FIFIIIIIIIIIIII!"<p>

No response.

She took another bite of the sandwich, chewed, and swallowed._ "FIFIIIIIIIIIIII!"_

No response.

Bite. Chew. Swallow_**. "FIFIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**_

Nothing

Bite. Chew. Swallow. "Where is she? I'm really starting to worry." Her tail puffed out a bit.

A determined look came across her face. She stood, pushing her face to Beema, spreading tuna-fish across the computer's screen. "I'm going to go find Fif-DANCING BEES!"

About fifty bees were swarmed before them, all cream-colored. They seemed to dance before them. They formed spinning circles, intersecting loops, and swirling shapes. All with a sort of rhythmic beat. Cake's forehead creased as she watched. After a moment, she shook her head and said, "Gals, you're doing it all wrong."

The bees gasped before Cake shushed them comfortingly. "Let me show you...HOW." She raised her paws up. "IT'S." She bent them. "DONE!" She flung them at one direction, pointing to the sky. She then took her arms and flung them in a circle, ending with her pointing to the sky once more. Then she did the same move the other way.

The bees began to form into curved, sloped, and straight lines until they perfectly made Cake's outline, even doing her tail and ears. They copied her every move as she danced over and over.

Beema began to dance with them. Ants, caterpillars, and slugs crawled over and danced with them. Butterflies, birds, and wasps joined them.

* * *

><p>Sweat drenched every inch of Fionna's skin. It dripped from her, making the wheel slick. Her face was horribly red. Her legs felt like bags of bricks. Her back felt like a straight line of needles. Her wool pajamas felt itchy and heavy.<p>

She finally slipped.

Her body hit the metal of the wheel flat. It was moving so fast from her running, she felt herself being pulled around and around. She was a blur of yellow, white, and red. The Leprechauns knew she had had enough of this and stopped the wheel. When they did, Fionna was at the top of the wheel and crashed down to the bottom. They picked her up and began to carry her away.

"Now to the ClaretSphere!" Lady Leprechaun announced as she led the Leprechauns to the next machine.

"No! Stop! NO!" Fionna writhed and lurched, but the Leprechauns held her in place. She felt like she was being carried to disaster.

The ClaretSphere was an odd-looking contraption. The top was a green-glass tube with a metal-net floor. Right below it, there was gigantic green-glass sphere, the size of a shed, with a smaller red sphere in the middle. Wires connected to the base that held it up.

The Leprechauns marched up a set of stairs to a walkway. The walkway led to the tube of the ClaretSphere, where they tossed Fionna in and shut the glass door. Fionna ferociously tore apart the binds of her hands, making bands of blood appear around her wrists like horrible bracelets.

A boom box was turned on, blasting 'Mega Baritone' by Mickey Micage. Fionna could hear it from behind the glass.

She felt the metal-net floor of the tube begin to heat up. It began to grow hotter and hotter, and then it began to spark. Needles pricked her skin madly. She gasped and jumped on the other foot, only for that one to hurt too. She hopped from foot to foot in a sort of funky dance. As she danced, her sweat dripped through the net of the floor into the Sphere, onto the ball inside. The ball shot out red lightning rods to the glass in response.

* * *

><p>"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"<p>

Cake gulped down the last few swallows of her drink. It tasted like pollen and seeds, but it was actually very good. She was rewarded by a round of surprise. She turned to a blue bee. "Any more Daisy Smoothies, Bea?"

"All finished." Bea shrugged, gesturing to the pollen-caked blender.

"Fi-nshed." Cake said slowly. "Fi-nished. Fi. Fifi." She gasped, and her tail frizzed out. _"FIFI! OH, __**FIFI! **_I forgot! I have to focus! Get undistracted! And use my ability to track her down! HEARING!"

She closed her eyes and listened for Fionna's Sound. Every creature in Aaa had a Sound. Prince Gumball's sounded like bubbling chemicals, Marshall Lee's sounded like him hissing, and so on. Each Sound reflected its owner's personality. Fionna's Sound, to her, was a sword being taken out of its sheath. She heard it. Not very close, but there, like a rustle of leaves against the floor. She borught her ear down, and heard it only a tad bit louder. She then brought it to the grass. It was as loud as the chime of jingle bells. She stood there, confused. Was Fionna buried alive? Did dirt goblins kidnap her?

Then she noticed something: footprints. She looked at them. "Too small to be Fifi's." She said aloud. They were the size of cockroaches. Definitely not Fionna's. As she looked, something red glinted in front of her. Picking it up, she saw that it was a single strand of curly red hair. She began to the trail of footprints and red hair.

"OK, OK, I got a joke."

She looked up. The trail of footprints curved around a small pond of water, where two water Nymphs were. One of them had turquoise skin, muscular and thick, and green eyes. He was wearing red swimming trunks, along with a black bracelet and a sort of seashell-centered necklace. His hair was literally rushing water. His hair was in a ponytail, causing the water to flow to the band that held it back. The other one was a bit less muscular, with aquamarine skin and ocean blue eyes. He wore blue swimming trunks and had a black piercing in his left ear. His hair wasn't pulled back, but hung freely, with thick 'bangs' across his eyebrows.

"What did the sailor...'sea' a movie?" the talking Nymph asked as he sat perched on a rock. Cake cringed. Nymphs were horrible with jokes, he could tell.

The other Nymph, who was spread across the pond water as if it were a bed, rose an eyebrow. "What?"

"Wait...I mean...What did the sailer do on a Friday night? 'Sea' a movie. I messed it up, but it's still funny, right?"

"No it's not." Cake spoke, causing the two Nymps to look up at her in surprise. "You guys stink at telling jokes. Let me hit you with this: Did you hear about the elf who got her left arm and left leg torn off?"

The Nymphs exchanged glances. "No...?"

"It's OK. She's ALL RIGHT now."

The Nymphs burst into thunderous laughter.

* * *

><p>Fionna's eyes split open. When did she pass out? How did she? She wasn't sweating, but her wool pajamas were still stinky and itchy.<p>

She was strapped to a chair. The chair bound her wrists and ankles with metal cuffs. Wires coiled out from the wood onto the floor. Machines, big and small, filled the room around her, buzzing, blinking, and whirring. She pulled at the cuffs, but it did no good.

"Now for the final stage!" Fionna turned to Lady Leprechaun as she stood at the other end of the room. "THE BRAINFUSER!"

Fionna heard a whirring sound. Looking up, she saw a metal helmet with earmuffs and triangular glasses descending from the ceiling to her.

"The machine will suck the energy from your very thoughts!" Lady Leprechaun continued. "And then the TopsideOverDrive will be ready to function."

The glasses covered Fionna's vision.

_**Don't think, Fionna. Don't think. Don't let them take away the energy...Don't...think...**_

_Suddenly, Fionna's hands balled into fists. Sweat dripped down her face in a waterfall. Her veins began to stick out. Her muscles began to grow. Her teeth grit together. She ripped her wrists from the cuffs. She ripped off the Fuser and threw then at the baffled Leprechauns._

_She stood and ribbed her ankles from their cuffs as if they were made of paper. She turned to the seat and ripped it from the podium like it weighed nothing. She threw it at a machine, sending sparks and smoke in all directions._

_"No more games." she whispered to herself. "No. More. GAMES!" Fionna had had enough. Every part of her seemed to transform in fury. Her rabbit-ears bristled. Her nails were like razors. Her teeth even sharpened to fangs. She jumped down from the podium and charged for the Leprechauns. She picked them up randomly, throwing them aside and punching their cheeks in and kicking their guts. _

_Fionna heard them groaning in pain. Knowing that they were still alive, she turned and saw-_

_"CUPCAKE!"_

_Cake stood a few yards away, holding the disorientated Leprechauns in her paws. She was covered in dust and dirt, obviously putting up a fight to come here. At the sight of her sister, she dropped the motionless Leprechauns and ran to her. Fionna, giddy with glee, ran forward as well and pulled Cake into an epic hug._

"Yeah! Woo! We did it, Cupcake!" Fionna turned this way and that in the Fuser, her thoughts' energy being sucked away as she did so. Then she froze, realizing what was going on. "Aw, MAN!"

The Leprechauns laughed in cruel humor. "It's working!"

On the BrainFuser, the energy level shot upward from being deep red to bright green. The gears whirred madly, the dials flying high. Steam gushed out everywhere.

The Leprechauns cheered and jumped with glee.

* * *

><p>Up in the Cloud Kingdom, Cake was dancing happily. Beema, the caterpillars, the slugs, the ants, and the bees were all with her, along with the two water Nymphs. The people of the Cloud Kingdom were dancing around crazily. Cake had a pair of crazy glasses on.<p>

"This party is NUTS!" cheered Cake. She took off her glasses. "How'd I get here?"

"You passed out after laughing so hard at your own joke." The ponytailed water Nymph said.

"You were off the hook, bra." The other Nymph put in as he danced by.

"So we brought you to the Cloud Kingdom to party with the Party Godess."

"Who's the Party Godess?" awed Cake.

_I am the Party Goddess of which though speakest of._

Cake turned around and gasped. The Party Goddess was amazing. She was an albino tiger, towering over Cake, as big as a two-story house. The white of her fur glistened with glimmers of gold. Her eyes were completely blue, no black in them. They were so blue, they looked like they were holes in her head leading to the sky behind her. A gold chain hung from her neck in a shimmering rope.

_Cake the Cat, thou have received my favor for being the best party-goer in the Land of Aaa._

"Thanks, PG." smiled Cake.

_Your welcome. Because thou have pleased me, thou will recieveth one wish. What do thou wish for?_

"What do I want most..." Cake paused, unsure. She wanted a lot of things, but what did she want MOST? "I do wish Fifi would stop leaving her dirty-_**FIFI!" **_Cake's tail frizzed out madly, waving in spinning circles and lashing out and about. The Party Goddess did not seem alarmed by Cake's sudden outburst, but she did look down a bit more. "I WAS LOOKING FOR HER AND I GOT DISTRACTED! _AGAIN! __**WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BRAIN? **_CB was right. I can't focus at ALL. _**ANY MY SISTER IS BEING IMPRISONED BY LITTLE RED-HAIRED MUNCHKINS!" **_She turned to the Party Goddess, her head held high. "Party Goddess, I wish I could focus on finding my sister!"

_Your wish is my com-_

"Waaaaait." Cake cut in. "Is there some kind of catch?"

_Yes, actually. To fulfill your request, I must posses you with one million Control Freaks. It will make you party like a madman until the wish has been granted._

"Do it!" Cake cheered, excited. "I need to find Fifi."

_Rad. _

The Party Goddess opened her mouth in a roar. Instead of sound coming out, though, Control Freaks did. Control Freaks were peculiar beings, looking like veils of flashing neon colors being tossed in the wind, this way and that. They were singing, which sounded like dolphins chirping. They zoomed to Cake immediatly.

_Must find Fifi. _Cake reminded herself as she felt herself succumb to the power. _Must...find...Fifi...MUST..._

_**"PARTY FOREVER!" **_Cake EXPLODED. She grew out in size, her coffee spots flashing gold and her tail waving about like a ribbon. Her eyes flashed rainbow colors, wavering, swirling, and zigzagging. She jumped from the cloud kingdom, bat-like wings exploding from her back, flashing silver and gold

00000000000000000000

The TopsideOverDrive was in full swing. It pumped and whirred and blinked and fizzled. Steam was filling up the room like smoke. The Leprechauns were deranged with joy. They jumped and danced and screamed in joy.

"IT'S WORKING!" Lady Leprechaun screeched. "YES!" She suddenly stopped and raised a hand to her ear. "But what's that other, much odd, sound?"

* * *

><p>Cake zoomed from the sky all the way down to Aaa. Below her, a gigantic well opened up. She dove for it. Soon, the bricks and moss of the well were zooming past her. Her ears popped, but she ignored it. Below her, there was light. And steam, and a whirring sound.<p>

The Underland.

The Leprechauns saw her falling down right at them, but did not scream. Lady Leprechaun sighed. "This ends our noble experiment."

Cake fell down on them like a gigantic brick. _**"PARTYYYYYYYY!"  
><strong>_

The other Leprechauns of the Underland went into action. One yelled to the other, "FIRE THE SHOOTY-RAY-MABOB!"

"HIGH-FIVE!" Cake slapped the Shooty-Ray-Mabob, sending it into flying debris.

"KICK IT!" She brought her foot down on the Impeteous Cavynator.

"ROCK AND ROLL!" She picked up ClaretSphere and sent it rolling away like a bowling ball.

Unfortunately and fortunately, the ClaretSphere hit the BrainFuser. Fionna, still in the chair, was blown away from the blast. The helmet of the Fuser went flying away.

Cake turned to the TopsideOverDrive and beamed. It was the most terrible look on her face imaginable. "I BET I CAN LIFT THIS THING!" She wrapped her arms around the TopsideOverDrive's form and began to pull. The TopsideOverDrive began to shake violently like an actual earthquake. Steam shot out of everything. The screws, knuts, and bolts shot out like bullets from it.

And then the steam was everywhere.

Up on the surface, steam exploded from the well like a geyser.

Fionna picked her bruised body up from the dirty floor and looked around, gasping heavily and sweating like crazy. The Underland was like a insane sauna. She turned left to right, trying to find out what had just happened. She couldn't see a THING. Not a machine or a Leprechaun or even the floor. Finally, when the steam began to clear, she saw a gigantic hulk of gold and white fur.

"CUPCAKE! YOU DEFEATED THE LEPRECHAUNS!"

As Fionna ran to her sister, Cake began to reform. She went smaller and smaller until she was natural-sized once more. Her gold went back to coffee. Her tail went back to furry. Her nails went back to normal. Her eyes began to go black once more. Hearing her sister, she opened her eyes and smiled weakly. "I did?"

"YEAH!"

"And you're OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

"Then I did it!" gasped Cake. "I saved you by being an unfocused, stupid party cat!"

"Yeah, Cupcake. You were born to be unfocused!"

"Come on," Fionna hopped onto her sister's back, feeling more secure than ever, like her energy couldn't be provoked anymore. "Let's go eat Cinnamon Bun."

Cake nodded and stretched them out of the Underland for good.

MUSIC

_Where is Fifi?_

TRIVIA

The Aerial Calibration is much like a meteor shower.


	34. Diamonds Have Power

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Tree-Trunks—the male version of Tree Trunks is seen with a gray mustache and a green, see-through visor. He also has a few wrinkles on his trunk. This may imply that he is also old, like his female counterpart. He also wears a bright blue ribbon on his tail. He has thicker eyebrows than Tree Trunks. Like how Tree Trunks loves apples, he loves peaches. He is kind-hearted.

Julia-Fionna, Jamie, and Cake's mother. She adopted Fionna when she was a baby. She is completely white, with a simple black hat. Shed does not posses magic abilities.

DIAMONDS HAVE POWER

_**Title Card**_

_Fionna holds the diamond sphere in her hand, light popping out of it like rainbows._

Fionna held the mass of diamond in her hand, light bouncing off of it joyously. It was golden-colored, and bulky, with smooth surfaces and sharp points. It felt cool in her palms. In front of her, on the table, _Diamonds of Diamonds _was spread out. She looked at the transparent green pictures. Diamonds overtook it, heart-shaped, star-shaped, circular, hexagonal, triangular, square, even weirder shapes like spiders, shoes, and books. But none seemed to match the one held in her hands.

"Hey, girl."

Fionna turned around as her sister bounded down the ladder into the living room. Cake was a late riser, and she had just woken up. "What's going on?"

Fionna stared down at the golden diamond in her hand, turning it left and right. "I found this diamond on our doorstep. It's pretty mysterious. I'm trying to find info in a holo-book."

"That's cool." Cake said shortly. "But you know what's better? MACHO GIRL-OFFS!" Cake flexed the muscles in her arms.

Fionna glanced back down at the golden diamond and noticed something else. A gray hair, short and thin. She plucked it up. "Cupcake, look at this hair..." her voice went off into silence.

Cake finally put the pieces together. The gray hair. The gold diamond. Why it fascinated Fionna so much. "Fifi, listen." she sighed sadly. "It isn't Tree-Trunks. He exploded, remember? After he at the Golden Diamond Peach."

How could Fionna forget? After they returned, they had to tell everyone the tragic news. There was a ceremony in honor of Tree-Trunks, with candles and photos and everything. Of course, the body couldn't be found, so he wasn't buried. And Tree-Trunks didn't have any family, so there was no death certificate.

But the image of Tree-Trunks exploding into thin air still burned in her mind.

"Yeah, I remember." huffed Fionna.

There was a respectful silence.

"Come on, girl." prompted Cake. "Macho Girl-Off time." In a deeper voice, she said, "You got what it takes to defeat me?"

"Uh, _yeah._" Fionna rolled her eyes. "You know what I do."

"Then let's get it oooooooon." Cake said, slightly waving her arms around.

_**ROUND 1!**_

Fionna snapped a branch in half with her knee.

Cake did the same to a chair.

Fionna frowned. "That was my favorite chair. I was going to reupholster it..."

Cake frowned guiltily. "Oops."

_**ROUND 2!**_

Cake bravely held out her arm to her sister. Fionna put her fingers to the furry skin and pinched them together. A tear formed on the side of Cake's eyes. She willingly sucked it back into her eyeball. She let out a victorious amazon cry.

Cake took Fionna's arm in both hands and twisted them in opposite directions. A tear formed in Fionna's eye, and rolled down her cheek. It hit the floor.

Cake whooped with victory.

"Owie..." Fionna rubbed her fiery red arm.

_**ROUND 3!**_

"STRENGTH TEST!" cheered Cake.

Fionna and Cake pressed their palms/paws together firmly and fought back for dominance. Then Fionna twisted Cake around and grabbed her around the neck. "Gotcha!"

Cake wasn't choking. Fionna's grip was tight, but Cake stretched her neck out. Then she began to grow out her entire body. "I'm going to get free!"

"No way!" Fionna held her neck tighter.

"I'm breaking out already!" Cake grew more and more. Then she grew so much that she felt Fionna let go in defeat. "I win!"

There was no response.

"Fifi?" frowned Cake. "Oh, _no!"_

She shrunk back to her normal size. Fionna was flat on the floor, completely unmoving. Cake immediately knelt beside her and put her paws on her shoulders. "Are you OK?"

Fionna's head picked up, coughing uncontrollably. She turned over, wheezing, her chest rising and falling unevenly. "Can't...huh...breathe..."

"I was just messin' with you, girl!" assured the panicked Cake.

"I...was just...messin'...with _you._" Fionna weakly touched her sister's muzzle.

Stumbling, Fionna picked herself up. When she was standing, she grabbed her stomach, wheezing like she was dying.

Cake's forehead was crinkled. "Are you OK?"

"Just gonna...rest my muscles..." With that, Fionna weakly climbed up the ladder, disappearing to the next floor.

Cake kicked the floor angrily. "Dang it, Cake." She turned in a circle, grabbing a cup of coffee off the wooden table. "She's just a kid! You can't lose control like that. Why am I like this?"

* * *

><p><em>Cake stood over the form of her older sister, sobbing uncontrollably. Jamie had a welt on her muzzle, laying flat on the ground, unmoving. <em>

_Cake heard footsteps. Looking up, she saw her mother, towering over her with a look of confusion. "Cake! What did you do to your sister?"_

_"We were just playing!" sniffled Cake. "And I lost control! I'm sorry, Mom."_

_"No, sweetie." Julia patted Cake's head. "You were good. Having no self control makes you a tough galloot. Like me!"_

_"But I don't wanna hurt anybody!"_

_"Well, that's to bad, Cake. Cos you're going to hurt _everybody."

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

* * *

><p>The cup in Cake's hand trembled. Finally, she slammed it down on the table, splattering coffee everywhere. "WHAT EV'S MOMMY!" She crossed her furry arms. Then she plopped down on the couch. "You don't know me. I'm never going to hurt anybody. EVER. Starting now."<p>

_**The Next Day**_

Cake sat on the couch, the only motions being her sipping tea from her mug. Sip. Breath. Sip. Breath.

"Sup girl." Fionna bounded down the ladder into the living room.

"Fifi, you're OK!" Cake said joyously but calmly. "I was scared I pulped your lemons too hard last night."

"You didn't pulp my lemons!" scoffed Fionna. "You didn't even make me cry me cry myself to sleep until my eyes were on fire..." She said this with a tone of sadness. Then she perked up. "Up for another Macho Girl-Off?"

"No." Cake said softly. "I lost control last time."

"Huh?"

"I'm never going to lost control again. I'm going soft." Cake's form went circular in proof.

"You're not serious."

"I'm totally serious." Cake said stiffly.

"You look like a wuss." smirked Fionna.

"Mm-hm."

Fionna chuckled. "I guess I'm cool with that." Then Fionna looked past Cake and frowned. "Cake, the Diamond!"

Cake turned. The Diamond was pulsing. Every few seconds, its gold color flashed white. Fionna picked it up. Whenever it pulsed, her fingertips tingled. Then she noticed something else. "Cupcake...?" There was a mist of silver circling the Diamond now. Brighter and brighter until it was as bright as the sun...

Fionna was blown off her feet. She skidded across the wooden floor. She groaned in pain and looked up.

Three figures were standing before her. They were girls, made completely out of gold diamond. They were differently-shaped, but in a way, the same. They were faceless, no mouths or noses or eyes. The golden diamond had been replaced by a misty silver portal, swirling and dancing, making them glow like the sun. Fionna gawked.

"Chip chap cop, what's happening?" awed Fionna.

"Don't move!" Cake assured her.

The diamond girls were as still as statues. A few moments passed, and Fionna thought they'd stay that way. Then the one in the middle looked down at Fionna. "Which is the one named Fionna the Human?" her voice sounded wavery, and she spoke without a mouth.

"Depends." Fionna murmured, her eyebrows furrowed. "Are y'all good or evil?"

The diamond girls exchanged glances, despite the fact that they didn't really have eyes. "We're good...?"

"Oh. I'm Fionna."

"GET HER!"

The diamond girl in the middle seemed to pop up next to Fionna. She lifted up Fionna but her shoulders. Her hands felt like solid rock, and they bruised Fionna's skin.

Cake didn't make a single move to stop them. "Hey, put my sis down."

The two other diamond girls stepped through the portal. Instead of walking into the light, their forms went fainter and fainter, the way a person may walk through thick fog. Fionna turned to Cake just to choke out "CUPCAKE-" before the fog drowned out her voice as if she were zooming away on a train. Then there was no one in the room but the cat.

"FIFI!" Cake jumped down on all fours and pounced into the portal.

* * *

><p>Cake was falling. Falling through the misty vapor of the portal. It tickled her fur life tiny feathers. It was warm, like nice sunlight. Falling and falling she went. After it went on for a few minutes, she thought she was going to be falling forever and ever.<p>

Cake hit the floor.

She groaned. The floor was made of golden diamond, perfectly smooth, like hard silk. The walls were more like a diamond surface, differently smooth shaped joining together as one.

Suddenly, Fionna's face covered every surface of the diamond walls. She looked concerned, for her self or Cake it was unknown. "CUPCAKE HELP!"

"Fifi!" Cake jumped up. She was still circular, despite her journey through the portal.

"I'm right here!"

"I can't see you!"

"Fifi, I am standing right here!"

"Oh hey." Cake turned. Fionna was locked in a diamond chamber in the wall. The wall holding her inside was made of diamond as well, but it was extremely transparent. The wall didn't have a diamond exterior, but was as smooth as glass, letting a completely clear view into the chamber. Two of the diamond girls were on either side of the chamber, with diamond spears in hand. Through the diamond of the chamber, Fionna's voice was thick and quavery, and her entire body was tinted with gold.

"What happened?" Cake asked, still sitting on the diamond floor.

"I dunno, but I'm trapped in here!" yelled Fionna. "Get me out!"

"I'll try," assured Cake. "With...CONTROLLED CONVERSATION." Cake rolled over to the chamber-

"Hault." The lead Diamond Guard stepped out of nowhere to stand in front of Cake, blocking her way to Fionna. Cake looked up at the diamond girl.

"Hi. I'm Cake."

"Beat it."

"I wanna know why you took my sister." Cake's voice was steadily calm. "And I'm not going to force it out of ya."

"I'm just following orders." The Diamond Guard shrugged.

"Who's orders?"

"Uh..." The Diamond Guard looked over her shoulder, as it looking for someone to come at her. "It's secret. But part of it is that we're turning Fionna into Golden Diamond."

"Cupcake, I think you should-" But just as Fionna spoke, there was a whirring sound inside the chamber. Looking inside, Cake saw the two other Diamond Guards. They were standing in front of a control panel, pressing buttons and turning dials. Two squares appeared in the chamber's floor. The whirring sped up for a second, and Fionna yelped as she was pulled in the center of the chamber. A glass-like sphere surrounded her. From the two squares in the floor, laser-like machines rose. They were silver, which differed from the place's usual gold diamond decor. They aimed down at Fionna and fired thick, bright blue beams. The color popped out like a beacon.

Fionna didn't appear to be in pain. At all. She moved to the glassy surface of the imprisoning sphere and banged on it with her fists uselessly. "GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"No." The Diamond Guard in front of cake turned her head to talk into the chamber. "You're going to be cool and diamond like us."

"That's not cool, girl." Cake looked up at the Diamond Guard. "Can't we work this out like civils?"

"Get lost." The Diamond Guard lifted up her heavy, thick foot and swung it.

Cake yelled out as she soared through the air. Soaring and soaring she went, until she sailed right into a golden diamond wall.

She shook all over like a gong. Her brain was swishing in her head like a tsunami. She collapsed to the floor in an awkward position. Inside her head, her mother's voice spoke to her.

_"Come on, Cake. Flip out on these guys."_

"NO! NO, MOM!" Cake shook her head violently until her vision stopped swirling. "I don't wanna hurt the people I care about!" She took a deep breath-

"CUPCAKE THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR WUSS MOVES!" screamed Fionna.

"I'm working some issues out." Cake murmured calmly to her sister. "It'll be a benefit in the end."

"I CAN SEE YOU SAY STUFF BUT IT'S ALL WHISPERY!"

"Well I'm sorry."

"MESS THEM UP, CUPCAKE. _JUST DO IT!" _Fionna pounded on the glass of her prison.

"Chill pill, Fifi. You're not in any serious danger yet." Cake stretched over to the Diamond Guard in front of the chamber.

But Fionna was.

Fionna felt her arm tingle. Like her arm was going numb in places, but the feeling was coming back a few seconds later, over and over. She lifted her arm and looked at it. It looked like it was bubbling. The skin was moving up and down in a sort of odd manner. The way Alice began to grow huge in _Alice in Wonderland. _Then, to her horror, her arm completely transformed. She blinked, and her arm had turned into golden diamond, her fingertips ending in dull, flat tips. She could feel her arm, but it felt so weird, so stiff. She shrieked.

So did Cake. The sight of her sister's arm made of golden diamond nearly made her faint. "Control time." She marched up to the Diamond Guard. "Alright, move it. I need to get my sis."

"No."

"Then I'll move you myself. _With my mind."_

Cake narrowed her eyes and strained her brain, lifting her paw to point at the Diamond Guard. Soon, she was sweating and breathing unevenly, her body trembling. Soon, she was shaking like an earthquake.

"You're going to hurt yourself, stop it." the Diamond Guard scoffed.

Cake huffed and let it go.

"Time's running out, kitty." the Diamond Guard teased. She turned her head to the side, calling out to the other Diamond Guards. "Speed it up in there."

They did so.

Fionna felt the same tingling feeling in her ankles. Looking down, she saw that her ankles were trembling. In a blink of an eye, they had two gold diamond chunks jutting out from them. _"CUPCAKE!"_

_"FIFI!" _Fury bubbled up in Cake like boiling water. _**"DON'T YOU HURT HER!" **_She looked down and gasped. Her furry arms had bulked out in dangerous muscles. "CONTROL!" Her bulking muscles shrunk down.

_"Cake," _Julia's voice whispered to Cake, _"Punch them. Punch all of them. Why not?"_

"NO, GHOST MOM!" yelled Cake. "I AM IN CONTROL!"

"Who are you talking to?" asked the Diamond Guard.

Tears were spilling down the cat's face. Bawling, she turned to the Diamond Girl. _**"NOBODY! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" **_She ran off in a trail of tears.

"Did you guys see that?" The Diamond Girl asked the others. "What a wuss."

"Don't make fun of her." rebuked Fionna. "She's going through some problems. Everyone has-" She was cut off with a scream as the Diamond of her arms spread to her hip and shoulder.

Cake kicked a Diamond wall angrily, ignoring the pain that shot up her leg. "Stupid Ghost Mom! I'll show her! I'll intimidate them with Controlled Attacks."

The Diamond Girl felt a shadow cast over her. She looked up and-"WHAT THE CHEESE?"

Cake stood over the Diamond Guard like a wall. She was rectangle-shaped, flat and thick. "You leave me no choice." Her voice was deep and thick. "Step aside or feel the wrath of my controlled attacks."

Cake raised her fists and slowly brought them to the Diamond Guard's face. But it did as much damage as a feather brushing brick.

**5 Minutes Later**

Cake was sweating, her muscles weak and her heart beating quickly. But she was still moving slower than molasses. "A...Am I hurting you...?"

"No, you freak." the Diamond Guard slapped her paws away from her face.

"Well, there's more where that came from. So you better tell me why you're turning Fionna into Diamond."

"Or what, you'll touch me?"

"So help me, _I will."_

There was a shriek.

Horrified, Cake looked up at Fionna and nearly died in guilt. The Gold Diamond transformation had covered her entire body, only leaving the left side of her face untouched. Her skin was shimmering Gold, hard and smooth and terrifying. She wasn't screaming in agony. She was screaming for her sister to save her.

"FIFI!" Cake reached for her sister-

"No, she looks girl." the Diamond Guard held her back.

"MY BODY IS BEING DIAMONDIZED!" Fionna shrieked like a banshee. _"AND IT __**TICKLES!"**_

"I want to help you, Fifi!" cried Cake. "But if I lose control, I'll end up hurting you!"

_"Cake."_

Angrily, Cake turned in the direction of her deceased mother's voice. She saw a vision of Julia herself. She was transparent, a figure of mist. A gold light seemed to glow as a background behind her, but she was perfectly clear. Her image hovered above Cake. Cake felt so annoyed with her. She WASN'T going to lose it. She WASN'T.

_"I brought someone here to see you."_

And, like magic, Jamie stepped into the image. She was older now, taller and prettier. She still had the same coffee-and-white mixed fur, but she still had a longer piece of hair covering her right eye like hair. Her tail was puffier, more silky. But what worried Cake was that she looked like a ghost herself.

"Jamie?" Cake asked in a whisper. "Are you dead?"

_"No, I'm alive." _Jamie answered in the same chirpy voice that Cake remembered her by. _"We're just dreaming at the same time."_

"I'm sorry I beat you up..." Cake felt a lump in her throat, accompanied by a stinging in her eyes.

_"Cookie Cake, that was a total accident."_ Cake couldn't help but smile at her nickname. _"You were just playing around."_

"But Mom, you said I was going to hurt everybody."

_"Yeah." _nodded Julia. _"Everybody who's EVIL. Let me finish, hm?"_

"Oh. OK. I'm over it, then. Later."

Julia and Jamie waved goodbye before they disappeared.

Cake let herself break out. Going back to her normal size, her tail fluffing out in fury, her muscles bulked out in hatred, she marched to the Diamond Guard. Cake raised a huge fist and punched. She didn't feel a speck of pain. Her fist broke the Diamond Girl's chest to pieces like a brick through glass. Tossing her remains aside, Cake broke through the chamber glass. Horribly, Fionna had gone completely Gold-Diamond. Not an inch of real skin remained. She marched to one Diamond Girl and held out her arms, as if about to hug her, but then she slammed her paws to her, like a pair of symbols. She then hopped on the remaining Guard's shoulders.

"CUPCAKE!" cried Fionna.

Cake twisted around so that she was standing on the ground in front of the Guard, her paws stretched on the Guard's shoulders. She gripped them and lifted the Diamond Guard over her head, onto the Diamond Sphere containing Fionna. The Sphere and the Diamond Guard both exploded into shards on impact.

Cake grabbed her 90%-Golden-Diamond human sister and dashed from the chamber. As she did, another Diamond Guard tried to attack them, only for Cake to break her to pieces. Then three other Guards came into view in the distance. She pushed her sister flat on the floor. Fionna slid down the Diamond floor, like a penguin gliding down snow. Cake stood on her back and grew her paw in size. Right when they got to the Diamond Guard, she slapped them all to pieces.

A misty silver glow appeared in the distance.

"There's the portal!" yelled Cake.

Then, there was a voice.

_"You cannot leave."_

Cake was so shocked that she pulled Fionna into a stop. "That voice." It was low, slightly aged, and horribly familiar. "It sounds like..."

A thick cloud of silver mist covered the roof of the Diamond Tunnel. It swirled and danced. Then, it split right down the middle into two clouds. There was a gigantic figure in the middle of the two clouds, the size of a tool shed. The figure was yellow, tinted with a bit of green. The figure's ears flapped as it hovered above the two girls. The figure wore a green, see-through hat and had a small mustache of gray hair under its trunk. It eyes were Golden Diamonds, almost as bright as the sun.

_**TREE-TRUNKS!**_

_"Yes, Cake." _Tree-Trunks voice was uncharacteristic, low and alluring. _"It is I." _When Cake only gawked bizarrly at him, he continued. _"But in this world, I am known as Unitzoid, the Golden Diamond King."_

"Tree-Trunks!" Fionna cried joyously through her diamond mouth. "You're alive!"

_"I am more than alive, Fionna. After I ate the Golden Diamond Peach, I was transported into this Golden Diamond Realm, where I became ruler of the Diamond Women. And all the Diamond Women are in love with me."_

As if in answer, three Diamond Women ran out of nowhere, calling up to Tree-Trunks, flailing their arms and screaming. "WE LOVE YOU, KING UNITZOID!"

_"Yes, yes, I know." _Tree-Trunks's face went angry at the Diamond Women. _"But YOUR love is not enough." _His Diamond eyes glowed brighter, and two fiery beams shot down at the Diamond Women, destroying them.

Fionna and Cake gawked as if they had just seen a bear give birth to a litter of sparkly kittens.

_"I want YOU, Fionna." _whispered Tree-Trunks.

Cake smirked and gave her sister a nudge. Fionna glared.

_"So I had my Women bring you here." _Tree-Trunks continued. _"To the Golden Diamond Realm, where you would be turned into my gorgeous Golden Diamond Queen, Pintazai!"_

"TREE-TRUNKS, YOU HAVE GONE ZONKOIDS WITH DIAMOND POWER!" screamed Fionna.

Tree-Trunks gave a loud gasp, as if he were hurt. _"Fionna, it is not Queenly to call her husband...__**ZONKOIDS!"**_

A fiery beam was suddenly flashing out of his eyes at them. In the blink of an eye, Cake had grabbed her sister and had jumped out of the way. It didn't stop there. Cake was soon running for her life from the fiery beams.

"Cupcake, you have to stop her!" yelled Fionna.

"I know, and I will!" yelled Cake.

Fionna attempted to smile, despite the fact that her face was frozen in Diamond. "It's good to have you back, sis."

"Thanks, Fifi."

When Cake knew there was no more point in running, she skidded to a stop. She ran behind a Golden Diamond boulder and set Fifi down gently. "You'll be safe here." She stretched up so she was eye-level with a glaring Tree-Trunks. "OK, Tree-Trunks. You asked for it." Cake raised a hand to make a punch, but it ended up being a light slap. She tried again, but the same thing happened.

"GO, CUPCAKE, GO!" cheered Fionna.

"I can't, Fifi!" called Cake as Tree-Trunks wrapped his trunk around her. "HE'S TOO ADORABLE!"

Fionna rolled her eyes but noticed something. Tree-Trunks's stomach was slightly glowing gold. Curious, she looked closer, and saw that it was pulsing, like his heart was beating like a gong inside. She gasped. "CUPCAKE! HIT HER IN THE STOMACH! HE'S PROBABLY STILL GOT GOLDEN DIAMOND PEACH IN HIM!"

"That must be givin him all his powers..." Cake gasped. She stretched her back paw into a gigantic boot and brought her leg back...

A chunk of Golden Diamond Peach flew out of her mouth.

Tree-Trunks eyes went back to normal. "Huh?"

At that exact moment, Fionna broke free of her Diamondization. Pieces of her gold diamond shell exploded all over the room in broken shards. She jumped up on her feet, cheering.

Cake stretched down to her normal height. And ran over to Tree-Trunks is joy. "TT! YOU'RE BACK!"

"Oh, Cake." Cake smiled. Tree-Trunks wasn't talking in a low, husky voice. He was talking in a kind, apologetic voice. "I was behaving so inappropriately...I'm so embarrassed."

"Hush now." Cake put a finger over his trunk. "If I had a dollar for every time someone went made with magic energy..." she paused and frowned, remembering the Leprechaun episode. "...I'd be George Washington!"

"Tree-Trunks, you're OK!"

Cake and Tree-Trunks both turned to see a joyous, Golden-Diamond-free Fionna running their way. "Fionna!" "Fifi!"

"Oh, Fionna." Tree-Trunks sighed in embarrassment. "I-"

"It's alright, TT." smiled Fionna. "No one even cares."

Tree Trunks smiled. "I was just gonna say that when we get home, it's Peach Cobbler time!"

Fionna and Cake cheered. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

They all held each other's hands and leaped into the portal. And they flew all the way through the misty vapor all the way home. All was well.

FACTS

Cake has an older sister named Jamie.

Julia is confirmed to be deceased.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

The events of this episode continue from "TreeTrunks!"

When Cake says "If I had a dollar for every time someone went made with magic energy...I'd be George Washington!" is a reference to the previous episode.


	35. Death by Dessert

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Cinnamon Bun-**CB is a citizen of the Candy Kingom, most widely known for her clumsiness and silly attitude. She has milky white eyes, and wears a light green dress with a bow.

**Regal Turnover Taker-**a Candy Citizen who formerly worked for Prince Gumball, but sadly suffered from a mental breakdown soon after. She is a tall gingerbread woman who appears to have suffered physical damage as a result of her mentality. She has deep scratches on her hip, thigh, and neck. Her frosting has smeared and peeled off in places. For hair, she wears a criss-crossing blot of cream, with a small strawberry on top. She also has yellow, pink, and red frosting to form a long-sleeved shirt, pants, and boots.

DEATH BY DESSERT

_Title Card_

_The Regal Turnover Taker beats off the thieves, kicking and punching, holding the Turnovers high above her head._

_"In the Kingdom of Aaa, there is a galaxy of flavors. But there is only one taste sensibility that is astonishing enough to kill for. The Regal Turnovers. Regal Turnovers are very rare. They are only eaten at the most sacred gathering in Aaa: The Regal BackScratching Ceremony. This giant gathering is one of the key pieces of harmony in the Turnovers are so legendary that thieves risk their lives and even kill just for one bite._

_"One Citizen has sworn to protect and serve the Regal Turnovers. She is...THE REGAL TURNOVER TAKER!"_

Prince Gumball gave Fionna and Cake a moment to observe the picture of the Regal Turnover Taker in his hand.

"She's magnificent!" gushed Cake, her fur giving a ruffle as she stared at the picture in awe.

"She used to be." Prince Gumball's smile dropped a bit. "But she had a mental meltdown a while back. So she can't deliver the Turnovers anymore. Cinnamon Bun is next in line for the job." At Fionna and Cake's shocked faces, he continued. "But you know how...'half-baked' she is." He glanced at Cinnamon Bun as she sat in the corner, teetering back and forth on her stool until she landed on her face, giggling.

Fionna and Cake nodded in unison. "True. True."

"Anyway, if the Turnovers aren't delivered today at the Ceremony," Prince Gumball went on, still smiling, "I will be stripped."

Fionna and Cake both gasped (Fionna blushing a bit.)

"...of my crown." the Prince finished, _still smiling_.

Fionna and Cake sighed in relief.

"Don't sigh in relief. The only way to strip me of my crown is to cut off my head."

The two girls gasped.

Then Fionna stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Then why do you keep smiling?"

"Oh, I accidentally drank this paralyzing potion in the middle of Peppermint Maid's magic act." He glanced at a guilty Peppermint Maid in the doorway. "If I could, I would be _frowning SO HARD right now."_

"We can deliver the Turnovers!" offered Fionna, standing up in her 'noble' posture.

"Are you sure, Fionna?" Prince Gumball stepped over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Prince," Fionna got down on one knee and took Prince Gumball's hand in hers. "I have never been so sure of something in my whole life. I will do whatever it takes to keep you alive and safe." She tried to kiss his hand, only to end up basically slobbering all over it. "For generations to come. We won't let you down."

"You talk some good talk," Prince Gumball's smile got wider. "You'd better Take some good Turnovers. I accept your offer."

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the Turnoveritchen!"<p>

The Turnoveritchen was like an advanced kitchen of a dream. One wall of the gigantic room was completely covered, head to toe, in kitchen utensils, such as spatulas, knives, rolling pins, cookie cutters, so on, so on. A gigantic oven the size of a vertical eighteen-wheeler stood in the middle of the room, its furnace a bright, hot red while thick clouds of steam erupted from it. All around the room, Turnovers covered multiple tables. Strawberry Turnovers, Blueberry Turnovers, Blackberry, Peach, Apple, Pear, Raspberry, and so many more. Fionna had the sudden urge to run to one of the table and stuff her mouth with the tasty pastries.

Fionna and Cake simply observed the Turnovers instead. There perfection was so great it was unreal. They were all evenly baked, with perfectly-leveled cream, not a speck of sugar out of place. "They're beautiful."

Prince Gumball laughed through his paralyzed smile. "No, girls, those are the Reject Turnovers. They're filled with imperfection. You don't Take those. THESE are the Perfect Turnovers." Prince Gumball held up a cylinder-shaped backpack with a glass surface and multiple buttons, with a measuring dial going up the sides. Perfect-OH SO PERFECT-Turnovers floated around inside, never bumping into each other. "All safely packed into this anti-gravity pack." Prince Gumball handed the pack to Fionna. It felt hard and cool in her hands.

"Now you need to Take those Turnovers through that Tunnel." Prince Gumball waved a had at a wide corner to their left, going up in a staircase.

Prince Gumball took out a projector. It lit up in a screen of blue light. Inside was a map of Aaa, the titles of places in fancy script, the details exquisite, the color bright and fabulous. "The Regal Turnover Road takes you directly to the Regal Guilding Hall." A curvy red line appeared on the map. "The Road is completely safe and totes guarded. But keep your eyes open for thieves." Fionna and Cake nodded.

"Thanks, guys." Prince Gumball stepped into the elevator they came in. "And remember, my head is on the line!" The doors shut close.

"Alright, let's go." Cake began to walk away.

"Wait!" Fionna stopped her. "I gots an idea."

Fionna picked up another anti-gravity pack and stuffed it full of Reject Turnovers. Then she picked up a bottle of Paralyzing Potion, glowing green, and poured it in.

"What are you doing?" asked Cake, her tail giving a flick of curiosity.

Fionna gave the ruined Turnovers to Cinnamon Bun, strapping the pack on her back. "Alright, CB, you go down the Regal Turnover Road!"

Cinnamon Bun let out a fit of giggles and dashed up the stairs.

"What are you up to, Fifi?" Cake asked with a beaming smile.

"Listen. The thieves will totes expect us to take the Regal Turnover Road, right? CB's gonna take those ruined turnovers down the Road. But if the thieves take the Turnovers, they'll be paralyzed, so CB will be OK. You and I are going to take the Perfect Turnovers down the path not thief would expect us to take-The Tundra of Terror."

* * *

><p>The Tundra of Terror was a real Tundra, icy and cold. Ice was scattered across the land, piles of snow littered around. Spiky rocks and razor-sharp stone formations stuck up from the ground like teeth. Flowers bloomed up in different places, but if you inhaled these too quickly, you would be struck dead. Beetles, lizards, and bugs scuttled across the earth.<p>

The 'Terror' in the Tundra of Terror's title comes from its hidden dangers: venomous green-striped scorpions, pink-flowered dart frogs, and even the indigo butterflies that held two tiny sacs of fatal venom under its wings.

"I guess this is it." Fionna commented, pulling on her yellow sweater to shield her from the cold, as the two of them walked across the brick bridge into the tundra. "It's not as scary as I thought it'd be."

"Yeah." agreed Cake, pulling up her pink backpack closer to her. "Why would people call it the Tundra of TERROR if there's no one here? I mean, what kinda thief would lurk around here? There's nothing to steal."

"Yeah, I know." Fionna smiled as she stared out at the tundra. "I think my plan may be kinda genius. I'm not saying I'M a genius. But it's a pretty brilliant plan. I think."

Cake nodded.

"Not a bad place for Takin' Turnovers." Fionna went on. She looked over the horizon, where the badlands could be seen very clearly, covered in gray thunderclouds. "That's the badlands over the mountains. It;s not even that far."

They descended down the stairs onto the icy-cold earth. Cake suddenly froze. "WAIT!"

"What?" asked an alarmed Fionna.

"Shhhh." Cake raised an ear. She was hearing a Sound. An odd, crackling, whispy sound..."There's a campfire nearby."

Fionna let out a gasp. So someone WAS here. "Does it sound like a Turnover Thief's campire?"

Cake listened harder. "Maybe."

"Let's check it out." said Fionna. Cake nodded. Fionna patted the Turnover-filled pack on her back.

Some distance, in the shade of a humongous rock formation, three homeless women were sitting around a good-sized fire, hunched over in anxiety.

"Don't burn it, Gracen." One of the homeless women, Tiddle, said. Her skin was a deep greenish-gray color, her eyes the size of apples and her head shaped like a C. She was barefoot, with one foot actually replaced by a rock, and the only clothes she wore was a simple wool dress.

"You hush." said Gracen as she hovered the dead beetle over the fire. "I ain't gonna burn it." She looked to be Tiddle's sister, with the same C-shaped head, large eyes, and body form. But her skin was a lighter gray, and she instead wore torn hospital clothes with combat boots.

Fionna and Cake watched the three woman carefully. They crouched down against the rock they were hiding behind.

"I don't think those gals are thieves." said Cake. "I think they're just dirty hobos."

"I was sure we'd be safe here." huffed Fionna in anger. "Now we have to get rid of these gals."

"Can't we just ignore them?" asked Cake.

"But if we're not careful enough, they can sneak-attack us and steal the tarts. AND THEN PG WILL DIE! _LISTEN TO ME! __**I'M SURE, REMEMBER?"**_

"Oh yeah."

"But why does Tiddle get to hold it, Gracen?" K.K. asked, staring at her leader. K.K. was a large computer console, with KK printed on the sides. Her screen was green and she had four eyes. She had four buttons on her chest, and her arms were all rusty silver. She was obviously the youngest.

There was a shrieking roar. The homeless women gasped.

Cake stood over all of them, mutated and spiked, her fur ruffled, so that she sort of resembled a mutated bear. Fionna stood atop her shoulders, waving her sword around like a MANIAC.

Cake gave K.K. a punch. Then Fionna gave Tiddle a kick. And then they both socked Gracen at the same time.

"YEAH, GO ON!" Cake yelled in a raspy voice as the homeless women began to run. "WE'LL MESS YOU UP UGLY!"

"Listen up!" yelled Fionna. "Y'all go on and tell all your friends that if any of you come fore our Turnovers-"

Gracen interrupted. "You have Turnovers?"

"YOU KNOW WE DO! AND THE NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO GET ON, YOU IMAGINE MY SIS CHEWIN' ON Y'ALLS NUT-BRAINS!"

_Bleep_

"Wha-?" Fionna span around.

K.K. was kneeling next to the pack, the top open wide, picking out Turnover after Perfect Turnover.

_**THE TURNOVERS THAT COULD MEAN LIFE OR DEATH TO PRINCE GUMBALL!  
><strong>_

"GET HER!" screamed Fionna.

But just as Cake reached the computer-girl, K.K. grew two rockets on her back and shot up into the air. Fionna growled as she watched K.K. take off in a thick line of smoke. "Son of a rickus..."

Cake shrunk down as Fionna stepped onto the ground. Cake stepped over to the pack and made a sort of _shisssss _noise, the kind you make when you see a bloody wound in a movie, and you flinch in disgust. "We only got five or six left. Are you sure this is a good plan?"

"This plan is sureproof, trust me. This is just bad luck. We still got some Turnovers, and the Prince is still safe." She strapped on the pack.

"Yeah, who knows what freaky things would've happened if we took the Regal Turnover Road?" Cake agreed, strapping on her pack. "CB's probably got her hands full."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at the Regal Turnover Road, CB was walking along the stonework floor. The entire Regal Turnover Road was a very long tunnel with a stonework floor and a glass roof. Perfectly safe. When CB was about a half-mile from the castle, she came to a nice-looking gingerbread-snap girl.<p>

"Hello!" the girl said.

"Hi." replied CB.

"Shall I hold that for you, miss?" the girl asked, gesturing to the Turnover-pack.

"OK!" CB took off her pack and handed it to the girl. She and the girl walked side-by-side a few feet before they came to another gingerbread-snap girl.

"Shall I old that for you, miss?" the girl asked.

"OK!" the girl handed her the pack.

The girl turned to another girl beside her. "Shall I hold that for you, miss?" the new girl asked.

"OK!" the girl handed her the pack.

"Shall I hold that for you, miss?"

"OK!"

"Shall I hold that for you, miss?"

"OK!"

CB continued down the road in perfect harmony.

* * *

><p>"Ya know what?" Fionna asked Cake as the two of them walked through a tunnel made out of a gigantic ribcage. "Even though it wasn't our fault, it was probably the best that we lost those Turnovers."<p>

"Huh?" Cake turned to her sister as they came to the skull's mouth. "Why?"

"It's kind of a reminder that we need to stay sharp. And extra safe." Fionna said as she climbed out of one huge eye socket.

"Oh yeah." Cake nodded.

"For instance, take this scary tavern here." Fionna gestured a pitch-black, stone cave in front of them, the edges spiky and sharp. "No sane person would ever go in here. So..."

"No thieves!" finished Cake.

"Exactly!" beamed Fionna.

"You are on a ROLL!" Cake said as the two of them walked inside the cave.

The two of them were swallowed in pitch-black darkness in a matter of seconds. Fionna thought this darkness was surreal. It was so dark it didn't seem possible.

"Peeyew." muttered Fionna as they walked through the thick darkness. Her voice echoed off the walls.

"Yeah." agreed Cake.

"...Cupcake."

"Yeah?"

"Did you just...tickle my back?"

"Just now?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"Huh..."

"...Fifi?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you just...like...rub my tail?"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Cupcake, hand me those matches."

Cake did so.

Fionna lit one up.

The two girls screamed.

Fionna and Cake ran out of the cave into the sunlight, the hands of the monkey-like people still clawing after them.

Cake looked at the Turnover-pack. "Fifi, we got GOT. There's only one left!"

"WHAT!" Fionna stared in horror at the almost-empty pack. "OH, _CRID! _MY PLAN STLINKED, CUPCAKE! _MY PLAN STLINKED ALL ALONG. __**I WAS BLINDED BY POMPOSITY! **_And now Prince Gumball's gonna get got and it's all my fault!"

"Easy, Fifi." Cake set a paw on Fionna's shoulder. "We've got a full Turnover left. PG's gonna be fine."

Fionna sniffed, smiled, and nodded. "Yeah. I won't sleep, eat, I won't BREATHE until the Turnovers are delivered." She sucked in a breath.

Cake watched as her sister began to turn red, then blue. "You can breath, Fifi."

Fionna shook her head.

"Seriously, girl, you're gonna-"

At that very moment, a ten-foot-tall falcon with mahogany wings swooped down and grabbed Fionna's shoulders in its talons, and lifted her up. Cake was just about to run after her, but she didn't need to. The straps from Fionna's pack opened, and she hit the ground thirteen feet from where Cake stood.

Cake ran over to her sister and helped her up. The two watched as the falcon disappeared into the clouds and out of sight.

"It's over, Cupcake." sniffled Fionna. "PG's gonna get croaked!"

"Yeah." Cake said in the most normal, most calm voice ever, as she piled three stones on top of each other like a small snowman. "Or we could smush in there and stop those peeples from socking off his head. You're call."

"You're right." Fionna turned to her sister in an unbelievably quick motion. "Cupcake! LET'S GO SAVE GUMBALL!"

* * *

><p>The Regal Guilding Hall was made completely of brick, with a black shingle roof and huge circular windows. Inside, more than a hundred people were packed in, all silent. Too silent for a usual party.<p>

Fionna and Cake burst through the doors.

The only thing visible over the crowds heads was a furry man raise a razor-sharp axe high, and Prince Gumball leaning over. The crowd was calling out, "CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!"

_**"NO!" **_screamed Fionna.

She started for the man.

But the axe came down.

And a red liquid splattered everywhere.

Fionna froze, feeling like someone had cut her right in two. She closed her eyes, which were pouring out tears, her body trembling, her throat sore and tight. Gumball...

She peeked through her eyelids to see the mutilated corpse-

"HUH?"

"Another perfectly cut Turnover!" called out Prince Gumball. He had dressed specially for the occasion. He now wore a cream-colored tailcoat with a pink hem, neckline, and cuffs, with strawberry buttons. His pants were pink and he wore darker pink shoes. The crowd cheered as Prince Gumball took out a camera and took a picture. Let the Regal BackScratching Ceremony begin!

"Fifi, they're just slicing Turnovers." sighed Cake in immense relief. "And there's Cinnamon Bun over there."

They looked at the far corner, where CB waved to them.

"She must have delivered the decoys." sighed Fionna.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"!"

"!"

"THE ONES WE POISONED!" The girls screamed in unison.

Fionna span around to Prince Gumball. He lifted up a Turnover piece and began to lift it towards his mouth.

"NO!" Fionna dashed forward, leaped high into the air, and slapped the Turnover right out of Prince Gumball's hands. "Don't eat that Turnover!" she cried as he landed on her side, brusing her knee.

"OK! Jeez, Fionna, I won't eat that Turnover." Prince Gumball lifted up another Turnover. "I'll eat this one instead!" He ate the entire thing in one bite.

_**"NO! PRINCE GUMBALL!"**_

But Prince Gumball remained motionless. His eyes were wide and blank, his mouth hanging open so that he looked like a bizarre statue.

"The Prince has been paralyzed!" Fionna cried, her eyes already brimming with tears.

"I'm not paralyzed!" breathed Prince Gumball. "I'm trapped in the FLAVOR."

Fionna and Cake stared at each other in disbelieving joy. "That means that WE must have been carrying the poisoned Turnovers all along!"

* * *

><p>Back in the Tundra of Terror, the falcon flew motionless overhead, never flapping its wings.<p>

It crashed into a cliff and fell in an unmoving pile.

* * *

><p>"Good thing we failed." smirked Fionna. The two girls giggled.<p>

"Excuse me?" the girls looked up at a inquiring Prince Gumball. "What's this I hear about 'poisoned Turnovers' and 'failing'?"

As she glared at the two girls, Cake edged away.

"Prince Gumball," sighed Fionna. "I thought I was brilliant. So I came up with a plan...that I thought was better than your plan, so I did it...But I messed up and made things worse...I'm sorry for everything. Especially for lying to you."

"Fionna, I forgive you." Prince Gumball smiled softly. "Cos I lied, too. They weren't gonna decapitate me. I just said that so you guys wouldn't eat the tarts."

Fionna stared. "Oh."

"Guess we're even!" said Prince Gumball.

He pulled Fionna in for an unexpected hug. She blushed deeply, trapped in the embrace. She eventually hugged back. "Guess so..."

_**"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE REGAL TURNOVERS HAVE ARRIVED!"**_

All eyes turned to the doorway. There was a giant gasp. The Regal Turnover Taker stood in the doorway, walking in with a sort of odd glide. Three pigeons flew around her, picking at the crumbs that fell around her. Fionna knew it was the Regal Turnover Taker, she had seen her picture, but the Taker has definitely deteriorated over the years. Deep scratches embedded her body in thick lines. Her cream frosting was smeared, peeling, and in some places, gone. A cross-crossing, strawberry-topped blot of cream served as her hair. Yellow, pink, and red frosting served as painted-on clothing.

"Nobody move!" Prince Gumball said loudly for everyone to hear. "She can't see or hear you, but she can feel your movement."

"Hello?" The Taker stumbled into the room, crubs falling and the birds flying about. Finally, she froze, only her eyes moving left to right. Fionna would have shivered if she could. Finally, the Taker whispered out, "Am I still alive? Am I still...living?"

And she fell back into darkness, always wondering, always unsure, always mysterious...

"Sheesh..." whispered Fionna.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

At the end of "Control Freak" Cake says to Fionna "Let's go eat Cinnamon Bun;" however in this episode, she appears just fine.


	36. To Cut a Man's Hair

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Bush Wizard-**-is a character in _To Cut a Man's Hair _and enlists Fionna and Cake for help with his balding problem. He is tall, with leafy skin, a twig-mouth, and a bald head. He wears a leafy, patched cloak that covers his entire body.

TO CUT A MAN'S HAIR

_Title Card_

_Fionna raises the pair of scissors above the sleeping prince's head, the light catching its surface._

Fionna leaned into the bird's nest and spat out the bits of chewed-up apple to the little baby birds. They pecked away at the bits hungrily, snapping their little beaks open and shut. Fionna bent her head down. "Hey, Cupcake, gimme some more apple."

Cake, who was sitting casually on a lower branch, smiled a "Coming up!" and stretched her apple-filled paw up to her sister.

"Thanks." Fionna took a big bite of the bright red apple, chewed it up until she got all of the juice out, and spat it out to the little birds. Again, they pecked away hungrily at the bits.

"Is that enough, Mr. BlackBeak?" Fionna asked the little blackbird sitting on a tiny branch before her.

"Yes, that should hold them until their mother gets back from her trip." Mr. BlackBeak nodded politely.

"Let us know if you need anything else." Fionna offered, hopping down from the branch onto her feet. Cake stepped down after her sister.

As the duo walked away, Mr. BlackBeak called after them, "You two truly are heroines!"

"Did ya hear that?" Fionna asked Cake as the two began their trek home. "He called us heroines."

"Yeah, I heard." nodded Cake.

An odd rustling interrupted their conversation. The two girls' attention turned to a thick bush standing before them. As they watched, the bush sprouted arms and legs and grew taller until the shape of a man stood before them. He was tall and lanky, with a patchy cloak, emerald green eyes, and two twigs for a pair of lips. His bald head gleamed bright in the sun.

"Hey. How's it going?" the man brushed off stray leaves and dirt that caught onto his skin and cloak. He turned to the two girls. "Is it true, what that bird said? You gals are heroines?"

Instead of answering, Fionna stared at the odd man. "Why were you spying on us?"

"I wasn't spying. I'm a Bush Wizard, and I was just sitting here when I just so happened to overhear that conversation just then. Pretty algebraic, right?"

"Uh...yeah!" "Bleh." The two girls said at the same time.

"So listen, I need you two 'heroines' to get me a lock of prince's hair."

"Why?"

"Because I have a severe case of baldinitis." The Bush Wizard huffed, as if it were the most obvious thing in existence.

"No, really?" "Not true!" "Not even possible!" Fionna and Cake said as convincingly as possible.

The Bush Wizard rolled his emerald green eyes. "I need the prince's hair for a spell so that I can grow my hair back. THEN I'LL BE GORGEOUS."

"...OK then..." Fionna stared a moment before smiling. "Well, we know lots of princes."

Cake suddenly burst into a fit of nervous, sweating laughter. Giggling, she turned to the Bush Wizard. "Can you give us a minute?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "OK."

Cake pulled her sister a good twenty feet away out of the Bush Wizard's earshot. After glancing over her furry shoulder, she turned to her human sister. "I don't think we should help this guy."

"Why not?"

"He's a wizard!"

"He may be good. Not all wizards are bad."

"He probably is."

They turned to the Bush Wizard. A little, adorable butterfly was fluttering over to him. As they watched, he snapped his jaws down on it and ate it in one bite.

"If he were good, he wouldn't be so ugly." cringed Cake as the Bush Wizard swallowed, licking his lips.

"Are you gals still talking?" the Bush Wizard called, causing the two girls to jump.

"So what do we do?" Fionna asked her feline sister. "Tell him we can't help because he's ugly?"

"No, Fifi, then he'll curse us, or hex us, or maybe even kill us." answered Cake. "I'm gonna get rid of him with some of my lady moves."

She smoothed out her fur, fluffed her tail, and strode over to the Bush Wizard. "Sorry about all that talking just then. Hey, you don't mind if I take a little...break do you?" In one smooth move, she laid down on her elbow, her tail curling around her paws. "I just feel so relaxed around you."

"What were you two talking about?" The Bush Wizard demanded.

"How devishly handsome you are."

The Bush Wizard stared for a moment as if he were sure she was lying. "Hnuh?"

"We were just saying that someone as strikingly good-looking as you doesn't even NEED a full head of hair." Cake said, giving her tail a little flick. "Right, Fifi?"

"Yeah." Fionna gave a thumbs-up. "Totally."

"R-really?" the leaves around the Bush Wizard's cheeks turned red.

"Boy, if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd be on you like syrup on pancakes." purred Cake. Fionna had to admit she was good.

"I don't mind if you have a boyfriend." The Bush Wizard leaned down next to the cat.

It was as if you could hear a record scratching. Cake's eyes flew wide open, and her tail froze mid-frizz. _"OH."_

"I don't think this is going to work." whispered Fionna to the panicked cat.

"I think it's making things worse." Cake agreed.

Cake felt something brush against her tail. Alarmed, she looked down to the see Bush Wizard softly stroking its fur. "YAH! I mean..._yah?"_

"How about you and I go over to the jungle. See if we can't have a word or two?"

"...How about we just have a pasta dinner?"

"...Huh."

"Look, guy, we can't help you get prince's hair." sighed Fionna in exasperation.

"Why not?"

"Because..." A light-bulb went off in Fionna's head. "We only help people in danger."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" The Bush Wizard rose up to his feet.

He cleared his throat and cracked his knuckles. Then he stared intently down at Cake and wiggled his fingers at her. At first, the two girls were confused (and a bit weirded out.) But then they both became aware of the glimmering yellow air appearing around Cake. Cake's little body began to lift into the air, not letting her move or escape. She was soon on the Bush Wizard's other side. The glimmering air implanted her two lower paws into the ground like two little tree saplings. The air disappeared, and they thought it was over, until about a dozen thick, snake-like vines began to form around her paws. Cake thought nothing of it at first, but when she made a move to escape, it was as if the vines were practically fusing her paws into the earth. But it wasn't bad. The vines stopped at the top of her paws. Still unallowing her to move, but nowhere near killing her.

"There." the Bush Wizard said simply. "Now someone's in danger."

Cake glared at her sister. "Told you he was evil."

Fionna began to grow angry. She sprinted towards the Bush Wizard, he fists raised and ready to grab her Ruby Sword if necessary. But just as she leaped into the air to deliver the first blow, she was blown off her feet right onto her back. She gave a small groan and sat up.

"Did you seriously forget I was a Wizard?" the Bush Wizard scoffed.

"Sorta..."

"Look, here's how this is going to work: You're going to get me some prince's hair. If you don't, these vines are going to crawl all the way up your sister and squeeze her so tight, all the water in her body is going to be squeezed right out until she's nothing but a pile of dust."

As if in agreement, the vines began to twist up to the top of Cake's thighs. She yelped, feeling her legs go numb and earthy. "FIFI! GET SOME PRINCE HAIR!"

"Alright! I'll get some!" Fionna said hastily.

"Wait!"

Fionna stopped.

"You can't tell anyone why you need it."

"Why not?"

"I don't want people to know about my baldinitis."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"OK..." Fionna walked away in a jog.

* * *

><p>Fionna ran to the nearest castle she could find and ran to it. It was tall and thick and made of grey brick, actually pretty simple and old-fashioned. She ran to the door and knocked. Muscle Prince stood before her, tall and thick like a brick wall. "Fionna! What a surprise!"<p>

"Hi, Muscle Prince."

"Why brings you here?"

"You were the closest prince nearby...I need some of your hair."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you."

"I see."

"You do?"

"Of course."

Out of absolute nowhere, Muscle Prince made a move to pull Fionna into a hug. Alarmed, Fionna ducked out of reach. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to hug you."

"Why? I want hair, not hug."

"Oh I understand." Muscle Prince smirked. "You want to take things slow..."

"Wh-NO. I...I'm here to save you. From your hair. It looks awful. Cut it off. NOW."

"Of course it looks bad." scoffed Muscle Prince. "If I had really nice hair, no one would look at my muscles. Fionna, why don't you take some time to think about love, huh?"

And with that, he slammed the castle doors in her face.

* * *

><p>"Prince...prince...prince..." Fionna searched the jungle blindly, searching left and right, high and low, over and under. Surely some prince had to be around. The Land of Aaa was packed with them.<p>

An orange glow in the distance caught her eye. "Who's that?"

When she walked closer, she was surprised at the campsite. A fire sat in the middle of the camp, a few bottles and wrappers of food scattered around aimlessly. An empty shopping cart stood off to the side. But what surprised Fionna the most was the figure in the sleeping bag under the tree: Lumpy Space Prince.

"Does he live in the jungle now?" Fionna looked around the campsite in question.

LSP slurred in his sleep. "Get away from my camp...I'll cut you..."

Fionna leaned in closer and took not in the orange gleam that caught on LSP's purple surface. "Does he have hair?"

She leaned closer and saw that she was correct: Very, very short hair, like a chiuaua's skin, covered LSP's surface, almost unnoticeable. "Well...hair's hair..."

She reached into her green pack and took out a pair of nice scissors. She then began to cut away at the purple fur, snipping bits of it up around her.

"WHAT THE STUFF ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU HACKING OFF MY LUMPS?"

Fionna yelped as LSP pushed her off her feet. "Because they're...so nice...?"

"I KNEW you liked me!" LSP whooped.

"No I don't!" Fionna shook her head side to side. "I'm just stopping by because-"

"Admit it, Fionna. You can't resist me." LSP flexed what little muscle he had.

"Yes I can." Fionna darted far away from the campsite, back into the jungle. LSP called after her. "DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'RE SURE ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS."

* * *

><p>Fionna didn't know how long she ran until she came to a metal fence. Curious, she looked inside. "A graveyard? There has to be a hairy prince in here that won't think I'm hitting on him!"<p>

She slinked through a hole in the fence silently. If people found out she was here, after all, they'd think her to be a really weird creep. She ran to gravestone to gravestone, looking for the lucky six-letter word, but none seemed to show. Old woman died in a skyfall...little boy drowned in chocolate...so on so forth...

Finally, the word popped out like a beacon.

"'Here lies Prince Gorgeous.'" Fionna read. "'He was so gorgeous.' Perfect! And kind of cadaverous...Oh well."

She plunged her hand into her pack for her shovel.

* * *

><p>It seemed about half an hour or so later until Fionna's shovel hit something hard and wooden. Finally, she tossed the shovel to the side and brushed away the remaining dirt. Excited and relieved, she flung the casket open-<p>

Only to find a completely bald skeleton.

"WHERE'S HIS HAIR?" Confused, Fionna looked back up at the gravestone and pushed some stray twigs and branches aside.

_Here lies Prince Gorgeous: He was so gorgeous._

_But died of baldinitis._

_**"DANGIT!"**_

* * *

><p>Fionna stumbled all the way back to the Bush Wizard. He was muttering to himself, talking solely about hair. Fionna took alarmed note in the fact that the vines had grown and twisted all the way up to Cake's neck, bounding her arms in front of her like a mummy. She was losing time fast.<p>

"Cupcake!" Fionna crawled over to her feline sister so that she wouldn't catch the Bush Wizard's attention.

"Do you have the hair?" asked Cake.

"Getting prince's hair is impossible, Cupcake. Every prince I go to just thinks I'm in love with them. I'm sorry. I think you're just going to have to live the rest of your life as a pile of dust..."

"No!" Cake gasped out as the vines began to twist up to the sides of her muzzle.

"Hush!" barked the Bush Wizard.

"If they think that you like them than use that." Cake instructed her sister. "Embrace it! Find the least terrible prince you can find, play some music, cook him a meal, smooth talk him a bit, and get that hair."

"You mean, like go on a date?" Fionna asked quickly as he vines began to twist all around Cake's face.

"Marry a prince if you have to! Just get me some hair!" And then the vines completely covered Cake's face, totally cocooning her in vines.

"Cupcake!"

"Go git de haire!" Cake's muffled voice replied.

* * *

><p>"PRINCE GUMBALL!"<p>

Prince Gumball turned from his topato plants at the sound of his name. Fionna was darting towards him frantically. "Oh, hello Fionna. What's wrong?"

"I, eh, need you to come with me." Fionna said in between gasps of air.

"Why?" Prince Gumball held up a watering can. "I'm taking care of my topato plants right now."

Fionna slapped the watering can from his hands. "Just come on! We don't have much time!"

* * *

><p>After a while of running frantically through the jungle, the duo came to a clearing. A boiling pot over a fire sat in the middle, lifting up wafts of steam.<p>

"Fionna, what is this?" Prince Gumball asked.

"We're having a pasta dinner."

"Really? Where do we sit?"

Out of absolute nowhere, Fionna whipped out a battleaxe, gave off a warrior cry, and ran right up to a tree. She delivered blow after blow from the axe, with lightning speed. Prince Gumball watched with complete confusion. Finally, the tree fell right through the clearing. Fionna ran to two different places and chopped out two circular wood pieces. She rolled both of them on either side of the remaining tree. She quickly gestured for Prince Gumball to sit down on the nearest one, in which he obliged to, still confused and awkward. Fionna sat down on the other side and reached into her pack. She laid out a checkered blanket, two paper plates, two glass cups, and two forks. She filled the two cups with apple juice from a plastic bottle.

Fionna took out a dollar bill and leaned down to the grass to a ladybug with a violin. "Hey, Sal, make it romantic."

The ladybug nodded, took the dollar bill, and began a nice, little tune.

Fionna ran over to the pot over the fire and reached right inside. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" She filled her arms with steamy, saucy pasta and dumped it all on her and (the very confused) Prince Gumball's plates. "Here, shove this into your mouth."

"Fionna, I don't under-"

"IN. YOUR. MOUTH."

"Well, OK." Prince Gumball took a big bite of the hot pasta, blowing it off a bit. The pasta consisted of farfalle rotonde noodles, nicely coated in Parmesan sauce with basil and parsley. Fionna was actually a really good cook. "You're lucky I love pasta."

"Prince Gumball, do you like me?" Fionna asked, blushing bashfully as she did so.

"Of course I like you, Fionna."

Fionna blushed a bit more. "Really?"

Prince Gumball took another bite of pasta. "Yeah."

"THANK GLOB ABOVE." Fionna shook her arms in Prince Gumball's direction like a child reaching for a toy. "Gimme some of your hair."

"Oh, that's sweet Fionna." Prince Gumball said, and took a sip of the icy apple juice. "Sure you can have some of my hair." He reached up into the pink quiff on his head and took off a reasonable piece of it. Afterwards, it didn't look a least bit changed. He handed to Fionna across the table. "Here ya go."

"THANK YOU, PRINCE GUMBALL!" Fionna hopped up on the table in her glee, sending both plates of pasta and both glasses of apple juice everywhere. Then she ran off into the jungle.

"My pasta..." Prince Gumball muttered

* * *

><p>The vines had twisted and squeezed Cake so much that now she was only half a foot wide, like a thickish stick. The form that once bore the feline cat was now skinny and frozen.<p>

"My dog's wife had a bunch of puppies." The Bush Wizard was going on. "I was thinking about naming one of them _Tumbleweed. _What do you think, is that good?"

"TRIUMPHANT RETURN!"

Fionna's voice caught the Bush Wizard's attention. Fionna stood a good ten feet away, one foot up on a rock, her hair-filled hand raised in a glorious way. "Genuine prince's hair. Ya hear that, Cupcake?" Fionna looked at her sister, and then gasped when she saw her form. "CUPCAKE!"

"Im fine. Justh giv it ta hm alwidy."

"Alright, bro. A deal's a deal." Fionna held out the piece of hair.

The Bush Wizard gave a little whoop of glee and took the prince's hair-

And froze in a frown. "This isn't hair." He pinched off a bit of the chunk of hair and popped it into his mouth, causing Fionna to start. "This is gum."

"What?" asked Fionna.

"Wuth?" asked Cake.

Fionna took off a piece of the prince's hair, popped it into her mouth, and chewed. "It is gum!"

"Well, guess you failed." sighed the Bush Wizard. "Say goodbye to your cat."

The vines began to twist together. Cake let out a muffled scream as her form began to go thinner and thinner, like a shrinking stick.

_**"WAIT!"**_

The vines stopped. Cake's form was literally a centimeter wide.

"Look, if I've learned anything today, it's to be DIRECT. So here it is: YOU. ARE. CRAZY. UGLY."

"What?" snarled the Bush Wizard.

"Fifee!" Cake's muffled voice sobbed.

"Having gorgeous hair isn't going to get you anywhere." Fionna went on. "Because you're ugly inside and out. So ugly I want to puke my guts out."

_"Fifeeeeee."_

"No one will EVER find you gorgeous. And it has nothing to do with your baldinitis. It's what's on the inside that has to do with it. Now, can you please release my sister?"

"Fifee..."

"No, she's right." the Bush Wizard sighed.

"HUFH?"

"I know I'm ugly. Nothing to help it."

The Bush Wizard snapped his fingertips. The vines began to bloom out, widening and widening, but also rotting and molding. Eventually, they all fell away, releasing the feline cat inside like a present. Fionna ran to her feline friend and scooped her up.

"I know no one will ever love me." sighed the Bush Wizard. "But I thought that maybe if I had gorgeous hair, I could learn to love myself." The Bush Wizard began to sob softly.

Fionna felt a piece of herself die inside. "I feel bad now."

"I don't." scoffed Cake.

Fionna turned to the Bush Wizard. "Hey, does it have to be PRINCE'S hair?"

"No. Just gorgeous hair."

"Well, then. Check. This. Out."

And then Fionna whipped her white, bunny-eared hat right off.

Golden hair shimmered all around her. The sun gave it a healthy, unearthly glow, as if the hair were weaved with sunlight. The hair was very thick, and could probably be used as a blanket if necessary. Fionna's hair was also extremely long, pooling into a one-foot circle around her ankles.

Cake smirked at her sister.

"You'd REALLY give me your gorgeous hair?" the Bush Wizard gasped.

"Sure." shrugged Fionna.

* * *

><p>When they were done, nothing remained of Fionna's hair but the chunk of it that had previously existed.<p>

"How do I look?" the Bush Wizard asked, the hair all threaded together on his head in a nice wig.

"Totally gorgeous. Inside and out." Fionna pulled her bunny-hat back on.

"Thank you, Fionna. That silly little bird was right about you." the Bush Wizard beamed. "Now I can use my hair...FOR EVIL!"

_**"WHAT?"**_

"Because I'm evil. Whattya want from me?" the Bush Wizard made an attempt to run away, but ended up falling over a thick lock of his new wig. "I think I broke a twig."

Fionna and Cake burst into laughter.

TRIVIA

Fionna removes her hat for the first time in the series.

LSP has very short hair.

Prince Gumball loves pasta.

Prince Gumball's hair is made of gum.


	37. Chamber of Frosted Blades

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Gunta-The Ice Queen's closest sea lion, and her personal servant. Gunta has big, sparkling eyes, two rather small tusks, and leathery white skin with faint blue spots.

Doctor Prince-A medical official of Aaa, who works at various medical hospitals. He wears triangular glasses, a sapphire pendant, a pair of loafers, and a doctor's coat with an orange turtleneck and gray slacks underneath. He has greenish skin with freckles, and curly brown hair. He has a blue BioBeetle in his pocket.

**Chamber of Frosted Blades**

_Title Card_

_Fionna delivers a punch to Ice Queen's face, while Cake delivers one to the small of her back._

"Hour seven of our Ice Kingdom stake-out." Fionna said into her busted radio, as if it were a recorder. "Aaand...abso-nothing is happening." She said the last part bending backwards from the mound of snow she was mounted on. She turned her head to her sister, who was sitting on a smaller snow mound, pouring over a red paperback book. "Cupcake?" When her sister did not repond, she waved a hand in front of her face, but she did not react.

"And if I do this with my foot..." Cake lifted up her foot so that it was diagonal to her eyes, making it take an odd shape. "My eyes should be able to squirt mayonnaise..."

Fionna blew a raspberry. "You sure this tip is good, Flamina?"

The little fire that stood before them sprung to life, revealing it to be a fiery female creature with a fiery ponytail. "Come on, Fionna, you know I'm on tha level." Famina's accent was odd, mostly Austrailian but with a tiny hint of Irish. "The Ice Sheila is scheman to nab 'er a princey lad today. I swear."

Fionna hopped off the snow mound as Cake spoke up. "Relax, skimpy skirt. A true Kunoichi can sense the intentions of her enemies." Cake molded her tail into a Chinese-like symbol. _"Tǔdòu!"_

Flamina scoffed. "Unoichie, eh? Unoichie ain't real for 'othing, no 'ow."

"Whoa, now." Fionna held up a stopping hand. "Kunoichi are real. For you see..." Fionna pulled up the neckline of her yellow sweater up over her nose. "CUPCAKE AND I ARE KUNOICHI."

"Yup." Cake nodded and looked down at the book in her hands. "Ever since we dug this Kunoichi manuel out of a grave." she held up the book to show it's title, _To Serve Kunoichi. _"FIFI! MITTIE ME!"

Fionna slipped a hand into her backpack and in the blink of an eye, four periwinkle, knit mittens flew towards Cake. Cake leaped into the air, and the 'mitties' fit onto her paws snugly. Then she landed back down and picked up her book once more.

Fionna suddenly spun around, her head raised high like a dog hearing a sound. "Listen!" She jumped up on the snow mound.

"Fifi, I'm gonna take off my mitties." Cake said. "I can't...flip...these...pages..."

Fionna listened closer, then began to here the distant _morp morp _sound of the semi-famous Gunta echo through the Ice Castle. She lifted up her binoculars and peeked out.

"I'm coming, Gunta! I'm coming!" Ice Queen's screechy voice yelled. "I'm getting the overnight bag!"

Finally, Ice Queen came flying out of the Ice Castle's window, Gunta tucked under one arm and a large duffel bag in the other.

"It's the Ice Queen, alright." nodded Fionna, speaking into her never-recording radio. "And she looks awful pleased with herself."

"If the Ice Queen's happy, then she must have stolen a princey lad when we weren't looking somehow." Cake tucked her ears around her muzzle like Fionna. "Kunoichi logic!"

"Then we gotta-!"

"Ahem!"

Fionna looked down at a smug-looking Flamina. She took out a piece of driftwood and tossed it to Flamina, who caught it in her mouth and chewed. Immediately, the salt turned her orange-red-and-gold-flames blue and purple. "Then we gotta save that princey lad."

"You got it, Fifi-san. KUNOICHI CHOP!" With a slice of her paw through the air, Cake leaped down off the cliff their snow mounds rested on.

"KUNOICHI CHOP!" Fionna mimicked her sister and followed her off the cliff.

Fionna ended up on her sister's back, and soon, the two were stretched up to the Ice Queen's window. They slinked their way in. "Princey lad?" Fionna whisper-called. When no one answered her as usual, she called out louder. "Prince?" No sound.

Cake slinked over to the Ice Queen's icy sofa. She lifted up the ice-block cushions and looked around in the deep trench of garbage. "Princey lad?"

Fionna checked inside the icy cage. "Princey lad?"

Cake checked the bathtub. "Princey lad?"

The two girls met again back in the living room. "No princey lad." Cake told her sister.

"No princey lad?" Fionna gasped in horrible realization. "It's a TRAP! We're being TRAPPED! KUNOICHI VANISH! _ELUDE! ELUDE!" _Fionna flailed her arms and legs like a madwoman.

"Nothing is being trapped, Fifi." Cake set a calming paw on her sister's shoulder. "We can't find any captured princes because the Ice Queen hasn't captures one yet. She's doing it right now."

"Are you sure?" asked Fionna.

"No. It's only a Kunoichi Hunch. So we need to Kunoichi snoop for PROOF!" Cake slinked away, waving her arms silkily.

"Wait, Cupcake." Fionna said as the cat made her way to the Ice Queen's never-made zebra-print bed. "I feel uncomfortable snooping through the Ice Queen's stuff. It feels sort of like a...VIOLATION."

Cake stuck her hand swiftly beneath the bed's pillow. When she pulled it out, it held a black, leather-bound, sticker-covered book. "Check it! I got her diary!"

"Nononononono!" Fionna shook her head like a crazed bobble-head. "VIOLATION!" She dove for the book, but Cake held her back. "We can't read her private junk!"

"And yet, we must." Cake molded herself so that she resembled the Ice Queen, from her tiara to the hem of her dress. She put on a cheap imitation of the Ice Queen's screech.

_"Dear Diary (and you'd better right me back this time!),_

_Today we're bringing home a new cutie! Oh, Diary, I'm so excited! I'll tell you more about it when I get back!_

_Love,_

_Ice Queen."_

"There's our proof!" Fionna said as her sister molded back to normal. "Let's use Kunoichi stealth and hide until Ice Queen comes back."

Cake appeared before Fionna on the bed, no bigger than a small stuffed animal. "OR we could keep looking through her stuff...for more proof, hee hee..." Cake began to slink off.

Fionna grabbed her sister around her middle like a doll. "No. All we're gonna do is hide and wait until the Ice Queen gets back. Then BOOM. We catch her with the princey lad on her hands." She picked up cake and waved her about, making popping noises, as if Cake were a toy airplane.

"Where are we gonna hide?" Cake asked, causing Fionna to stop moving her about.

"IN THIS FILTHY HAMPER!" Fionna tossed her sister over into the hamper and followed suit.

Fionna immediately thought she should have picked somewhere else. The clothes in the hamper were all stained with food, drinks, and whatever else, which all spread against her skin disgustingly. The different clothes pressed against her skin, feeling wet, scratchy, sticky, and icky. And the SMELL. It REEKED in there!

"Think she's here yet?" she asked Cake, who obviously felt uncomfortable between a wet sweater and a gooey pair of socks.

Cake stretched her head up. A moment later, she came back down. "Nah. Fifi, I don't wanna hide in this hamper anymore. It reeks in here."

"But we're Kunoichi and this is out Kunoichi hideout!"

"Fifi, trust me. All of my senses are, like, 1000 times better than yours, and I'm dying over here." Cake gave a disgusted glance to a pile of sesame noodles underneath a stained trench coat. "I'm out!"

Cake popped out of the hamper and landed back onto the icy floor. "Wait!" Fionna called, but Cake ignored her and took a deep whiff of the fresh air. Fionna reached into the hamper, took out a thick sock, and threw it at her sister. "Get back here!"

Cake ducked, and the sock flew over her head. Instead, it landed on a flat device standing before the sofa. It lit up, revealing a holographic screen. Cake ran over immediately and sat on the sofa, picking up the device. "Fifi, check this out!" Her sister hopped out of the hamper and dashed over.

Cake moved the ball on the device, and the little snowflake-cursor moved down to one of the file icons. Cake clicked the red button. The screen came up in a file of images. Cake clicked on one.

It was a horribly drawn picture of the Ice Queen and Wedding Ring Prince moving in for a kiss.

The next was a horribly drawn picture of the Ice Queen and a prince on a roller coaster.

The one after that one was a horribly drawn picture of a prince playing a piano with the Ice Queen singing on top.

The two girls burst out laughing. Cake pawed for the device. "I wanna draw something!"

"Hey!" Fionna pulled her sister back like a child. "We can't leave any traces! Kunoichi don't leave traces!"

"I'll delete it when I'm done!"

The two girls fought with each other, Fionna pushing and pulling her sister back as Cake continued pawing for the device. In the scuffle, Fionna's foot kicked the device off of Cake's lap and sent it flying through the air-

_**CRASH!  
><strong>_

Fionna and Cake gasped. When the device had sailed across the room into the wall, they simply expected it to be just that: into the wall. Not THROUGH the wall. And yet, after a very loud crash of splintering ice, a gigantic gaping hole was right smack in the middle of the wall, leading into an unlit cavern/room.

The two girls immediately bounded off the sofa to the gaping hole. "Cupcake! What have we d-" Fionna cut off as the two girls looked into the cavern/room.

Their jaws nearly hit the floor.

The cavern was a KUNOICHI CAVE. The walls were lined with ice-carved weapons, katanas, bo staffs, sais, nun-chucks, and even tekko-kagi. They were also covered in Kunoichi, ninja, and samurai posters from top to bottom. Books of ninja skills filled an icy bookshelf down below. The cave contained more entertaining things, such as a aqua beanbag chair and a flat-screen TV. Down on a little lower floor, five flaming blue spheres hovered above the icy floor.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen flew through the air, a grin on her face as her lightning-shaped eyebrows flapped like wings. Gunta was squirming under her arm, but she ignored her. She was just going to have to wait.<p>

The Wildberry Hospital appeared in the horizon. The Hospital was on the outskirts of the Wildberry kingdom, and was the exact place where they were headed. The Hospital was designed as a bush-like tree, the top of it being a treetop covered in every berry imaginable. The bottom half was the tree's trunk. Inside the treetop, one would travel to the rooms by traveling through the hollow branches in the leaves. The entire thing was actually quite huge.

Ice Queen landed right in front of the glass doors, which blew open with an icy breeze, which no one seemed to mind. The Ice Queen looked inside and huffed. A line of Wildberry citizens stood before the front desk. "Ugh."

She held up her arm, and the Wildberry woman at the back of the line froze in a block of ice. She then came to the next girl in the line and frosted her motionless. When she came to the next girl, she stepped aside. "I actually think you were ahead of me."

Ice Queen froze her anyway. "You know I was."

She stepped to the front desk. Behind it, a light red Wildberry with a cap was typing on a holographic device. "I'm here to see a friend. Or rather, my sea lion's friend." she gestured to a fidgeting Gunta. "I need to see a doctor to escort me immediately. Preferably, a princey doctor."

"And who are you visiting?" the Wildberry asked.

"Uh...I don't know what...uhm..." she picked up Gunta. "Gunta, you never told me what your friend's name was, sneaky girl."

* * *

><p>"This place is AMAZING!" Fionna gasped as she entered the Cave, her Mary Jane's clicking on the floor echoing off the walls. The roof resembled an icy done above, and the room was at least thirty feet wide.<p>

"But what kind of gal makes a cave inside another cave?" Cake pondered. She noticed a book on a frosted book-stand and stepped over. "A spellbook?" She spun it in a circle, making Fionna start.

"No traces, Cupcake!" Fionna reminded her, running to the still-spinning book.

"Too late for THAT, Fifi," chuckled the feline as she stepped away for more snooping.

"It's not too-" Fionna stopped short as she stopped the book. "Late..." she gasped as if her lungs had exploded.

Cake picked up a icy sai off the floor and balanced it on her muzzle. "Whassa matter?"

"Cupcake." Fionna voice was a shell-shocked whisper. "This is..._A First-Edition Ice Kunoichi Manuel: ART OF BLIZZUTSU!"_

Cake's mouth formed an O so big it was the size of a beachball.

Fionna opened to a random page and read aloud. "'A true Kunoichi breathes no air. Only life.'"

Cake suddenly flashed by her, snatching the book from her grasp with the speed of a cheetah. She began flipping through the pages at random. "I ain't even HEARD of these techniques!" She held her paw up and muttered under her breath. "Tee-ta-to-ti-tuh-TEKKO KAGI!" A pair of icy claws appeared around her furry wrist.

"Hey!" Fionna looked around at the posters of the room. Women in differently-colored kimonos and gear covered the wall's surface. "Ice Queen is really into Kunoichi. Even more than WE are."

Cake, who was attacking both claws with one another, turned to her sister. "Yeah, so?" One claw cut across her furry wrist, but instead of scratching her, it left thick lines of frost. "Oops."

Fionna walked over to a glass display of Kunoichi weapons, all made of snow, ice, and frost. "Doesn't that make Kunoichi...sort of lame?"

"Nah, they're still cool." Cake stepped over, a front part of her chest held out in front of her to hold out the book so that she could see it. "Ice Queen's still lame because she hides her Kunoichi love. WE WEAR OUR KUNOICHI ON OUR SLEEVES!" Suddenly, she dropped the book gently, raised her paws above her heads, and brought them down on the glass display, splintering into a million pieces.

Fionna gawked at her sister. "CUPCAKE!" She suddenly broke into a grin. "Teach me how to do that."

* * *

><p>Ice Queen sat in the leafy chair under the window. The hospital room they were currently in was one of the higher, treetop room, which gave them a great view of the kingdom itself. The room was designed very exotically: stained glass windows, patterned tiled floors, brightly painted walls, and neon furniture. Even the soft chair she sat in was a bright, pure green. And it smelled nice in there, like cherries. Pictures of Wildberry royals were nailed to the walls. Gunta's guy-friend sat in the bed, covered in a thick quilt of electric crimson, lawn green, and canary yellow, the pillows bright aqua. He was a bit darker-skinned than Gunta, and had larger tusks. He was moaning in pain as Gunta sat by his side.<p>

Ice Queen let out an impatient huff and stood up. "What is taking that doctor so long? Gunta, make your guy-friend make more noise."

Silence greeted her. She turned to see Gunta glaring at her. "What?"

"Excuse me?"

Attention turned to the doorway. A handsome doctor stood there. He wore triangular glasses, a sapphire pendant, a pair of loafers, and a doctor's coat with an orange turtleneck and gray slacks underneath. He had greenish skin with freckles, and curly brown hair. He had a blue BioBeetle in his pocket.

"I'm Doctor Prince."

"Yes, well..." Ice Queen whispered the next words under her breath_. "Come to Ice Queen, Prince."_

"Don't worry, miss." Doctor Prince strode over to Gunta's guy friend. "I specialize in treating little sea people."

"Just give it to me straight, doc. _Does he have insurance for this?"_

Doctor Prince took out a stethoscope from around his neck and pressed it to Gunta's guy friend's face. He gave off a muffled "morp morp." The Doctor gasped. "Oh my."

"Do all you can for him, Doctor." Ice Queen pleaded. "I cannot bear to see Gunta sad and lonely. Seriously. It's disgusting. She gets snot everywhere."

_**"MORP MORP!"**_

Everyone gasped as Gunta's guy friend began to swell up like a bizarre balloon. Tears spilled down his face in waterfalls. Doctor Prince was baffled. "Something medical is happening!"

Gunta started morping like crazy. "MORPMORPMORPMORPMORP!"

"Gunta, shut it!" hissed the Ice Queen. "You're embarrassing me!"

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake sat on either side of the open book, the flickering balls of blue flame circled around them brightly. Two blue bands wrapped around her forehead.<p>

Fionna took a deep breath and began to wiggle her fingers around her like butterflies. "Blizzutsu Master Fionna-san summons..._Katana of Crystal Sapphire." _When she brought her hands back together, a bright blue hilt formed in them, and from it, a thick blade of frosted sapphire.

Cake had her paws pressed together as he tail turned side to side like in a steady rhythm. "Blizzutsu Master Cake-san summons..._Shuriken of Icy Hail." _A handful of icy shuriken appeared in her paws.

She brought her arm around her back. "Prepared to be..." she flung the stars at Fionna. "ICED!"

Fionna used her Sapphire Katana to slice through them like paper. Cake stretched onto the middle landing, with Fionna chasing up after her. Fionna stabbed her Katana at Cake, who leapt out of the way, making the Katana stab right into the flatscreen TV. She made another slash for Cake, but ended up tearing through the fabric of the bean-bag chair. Cake kicked the Katana, and the fragile blade smashed into pieces.

The fight went outside the cave as Cake stretched out the hole. Fionna grabbed two frosty Kusarigama and dashed after her. She flung them across the room. "KUSARIGAMA ATTACK!" The Kusarigama hit a large, thick icicle on the ceiling. As they fell towards Cake, she punched it, sending them flying towards Fionna like deadly daggars. "ICICLE PUNCH!"

Fionna twined her fingers together, focused for a second, and cried, "Blizzutsu Master Fionna-san summons..._Razored Winds!" _With a simple push of her arms, a razor-sharp gust of icy winds blasted in Cake's direction. Not only did they now send the icicles flying towards Cake, but the razor winds as well.

"FLYING JUMP!" Cake leaped into the air like an Razored Winds and the icicles both hit the iced sofa, splintering it into a million shards of ice.

Fionna tried to follow her sister with her eyes to where she would land. But when Cake did land, there were two more of her, like clones or twins. "THREE Cupcakes?" gaped Fionna. "That's one too many!" She raised her arms above her head. _"MAKIBISHI BLIZZARD!" _With a wave of her arms, a blizzard of sharp Makibishi went flying at the Cakes at full-blast. They implanted their points into the Cakes' skins, like pins on a bulletin board. But not a single one cried out in pain. Instead, all three of them disappeared in a cloud of frosty air. "All fakes?"

There was a laugh. Fionna span around to see Cake, standing a little ways away, laughing in triumph. "BLIZZUTSU MASTER CAKE-SAN SUMMONS..._ARROW OF FROST!" _An icy, frosted arrow appeared in Cake's paw. Molding her arm into a crossbow-shape, loaded it, and sent the arrow flying at her human sister.

But just as the arrow came at her, Fionna snatched it out of the air and smashed it on the floor.

Cake's eyes glimmered like stars.

The two girls cheered and danced, laughing and-

They were cut off by a sound. _A whistling sound._

"Ice Queen!" Fionna gasped. "Hide!" The two girls leaped back into the Kunoichi cave, hiding behind the wall next to the entrance.

"Ok, sweetie, this enclosure will be your new home." Ice Queen's voice rang out like an alarming bell.

"He's got a princey lad!" Fionna whispered to her sister. "Let's catch her red-handed." She pulled her sweater up to her nose. She raised a hand and brought it down to the icy floor. "Snowstorm!" She disappeared in a haze of snow.

"Sleetleetleetleet..." Cake disappeared into thin air.

"But once you get used to the smell of sea lion vomit, it's almost tolerable." Ice Queen stopped in her tracks. "What's that noise?"

"HYAAAA-AAAH-AHHH!"

Fionna and Cake came flying through the air, Fionna with a frosted pair of sais, and Cake with sapphire dagger. "Ice Queen!" cried Fionna. "Hand over that princey-" She suddenly saw the whole scene before her: Ice Queen, Gunta, a boy sea lion, but no princey lad. "-lad?"

Fionna and Cake stopped short, three feet before the trio. "Cupcake, where's the princey lad?" Fionna asked. Cake froze. "Ooh," she muttered, "right..."

"What princey lad?" Ice Queen asked, eyes wide at the bizarre girls bearing the icy weapons.

"The...um...princey lad you were talking to...?" Fionna attempted.

"The one you just got back from stealing!" Cake put in.

"Eeeeeeh." Ice Queen made a buzzer-like sound. "I was at the hospital." she held up the two sea lions. "For you see, Gunta's boyfriend had a little miracle. So Gunta and her little boyfriend..." she set the two down, reached into her dress, and pulled out a...bundle of blankets? "...are parents! I was just talking to the baby. But Gunta won't let me see it." she huffed, and showed them that the baby's face was obscured by shadows.

Fionna and Cake gawked. Fionna pointed at the 'boy' sea lion. "So...that one is a girl..." she pointed at Gunta. "And...Gunta...is a _**BOY?**_"

"W-NO." Ice Queen paused, looked at Gunta, then huffed. "Anyway, get out of my house, or I'll kill you, so on so forth. I wanna take a nap on my sof-WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SOFA?" Ice Queen shrieked as she looked at the pile of ice in the middle of the floor.

Fionna made a "ooh" sound in guilt.

"What happened to my guitar and stereo?" Ice Queen shrieked louder as she looked at her belongings, both impaled by icy Makibishi.

Cake gave a hissing, guilty inhale.

"AND. YOU. VIOLATED. MY. SANCTUM?" Ice Queen gawked at the hole in the wall, and it was clear half the stuff inside the cave was ruined. _**"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"**_

Fionna's eyes were wide and horrified. "No princey lad...?"

Ice Queen was trembling in fiery rage. _"No. No princey lad."_

The weapons in Fionna and Cake's grasps turned to dusty snow. "We were wrong, Cupcake." Fionna gawked. "We're...VIOLATORS."

"Yeah, you are!" Ice Queen seethed. "WHAT THE DEG IS A PRINCEY LAD, ANYWAY? YOU CAN'T JUST COME BOMBARDING INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOME AND VIOLATE THEIR PROPERTY!" She took the bands off of Fionna and Cake's foreheads and tucked them in her dress. "WHO DO YOU BARBARIANS THINK YOU ARE?"

"We're...Kunoichi." whimpered Fionna.

"YOU'RE NOT KUNOICHI!" hissed the Ice Queen. "YOU'RE JUST A COUPLE OF BRUTES WITH NO RESPECT FOR OTHERS!"

"It's true..." Fionna's eyes and throat were singing. She took a deep breath. "Ice Queen, we're gonna make this right."

"Yeah, do that. Make it right." Ice Queen scoffed. She gave her duffel bag a kick. "Take my bag over into the cage."

Fionna nodded, grabbed the bag, and began to pull it to the cage. It was heavy, really heavy. What did Ice Queen have in-?!

_"Mmph! Mm!"_

Fionna looked, wide-eyed, down at the bag. It was...moving. Kicking. And making muffled noises. Fionna unzipped the bag and...

Doctor Prince rose up from it.

"Doctor Prince!" Fionna and Cake exclaimed.

Ice Queen was sweating nervously. "Now-now how d-did THAT get in there...?"

"What's going on?" Fionna asked, looking from Doctor Prince to the Ice Queen.

"I'll field that one. The Ice Queen abducted me." Doctor Prince said, wiping off his glasses with a soft piece of fabric. "While I was distracted with the horrifying beauty of birth." He gestured to Gunta and his girlfriend, who were both gushing over the bundle of blankets which held their child.

"Yes, indeed." Ice Queen agreed. "Gunta's new-found parenthood was the perfect cover for stealing a prince."

"I'm not even a real prince." Doctor Prince said as Cake helped him out of the bag. "'Prince' is just a surname."

"ENOUGH!" Ice Queen cried in vain. "YOU MAY HAVE UNCOVERED MY PRINCE-NAPPING SCHEME, BUT YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT OF HERE **ALIVE.**"

Cake gave a melodramatic laugh. "A couple of Kunoichi like me and Fionna can only be defeated by another Kunoichi!"

Ice Queen took her long, thick, scruffy hair and wrapped it around her face, leaving only her eyes to see. Two icy katana swords appeared in her hands. "KUNOICHI!"

A frosted bo staff appeared in Fionna's hands, while a pair of frozen nun-chucks appeared in Cake's. "KUNOICHI!"

Doctor Prince rose an eyebrow. "What am I looking at here, exactly?"

Ice Queen, Fionna, and Cake flung themselves at each other, slashing and attacking with their weapons.

Doctor Prince headed over to Gunta and his girlfriend. "How's the baby doing?" As if on cue, the bundle of blankets began to vibrate. Doctor Prince made an "oh!" sound.

The bundle of blankets suddenly disintegrated into nothingness, revealing...

...a glowing cocker-spaniel with purple fur and a gold heart in the middle of its forehead...?

Ice Queen gasped, her hair falling from her face. "Gunta! Why didn't you tell me you were a..."

Gunta shrugged sheepishly.

Ice Queen chuckled. "Oh, Gunta-"

Fionna delivered a punch to the Ice Queen's face, while Cake delivered one to the small of her back.

_**Chamber of Frosted Blades**_

TRIVIA

When Fionna sees the three copies Cake made of herself, Fionna says, "That's one too many," meaning that two Cakes would have been acceptable.

Gunta is revealed to be a boy in this episode, and he has a girlfriend (who looks like a boy) sea lion. Gunta's boyfriend, which will now be named Gusto, will appear in later episodes.


	38. Meet the Parents

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Lord Monochromicorn**—Prince Gumball's loyal companion and Cake's boyfriend. He is completely black with a long, gray mane, entirely different from Lady Rainicorn's multicolor scheme. He is more horse-like compared to Lady Rainicorn, although he still has a horn. He can also open black holes and fly. He speaks in Morse code, much like how Rainicorn speaks Korean. He can also neigh, despite him speaking in Morse. Lady Ranicorn has said that she flies by using light and "dancing" on it. However, Monochromicorn is black, which would mean he would absorb light. Lord Monochromicorn resembles a horse and a moonbow, a rainbow seen at night.

**Barbara Monochromicorn-**is the mother of Lord Monochromicorn and the wife to Earl Monochromicorn. She has a short black body, long gray hair, a white horn, and triangular glasses.

Earl Monochromicorn-is the father of Lord Monochromicorn and the husband to Barbara Monochromicorn. He has a very, very long body, short gray hair, a white horn, and circular glasses.

**MEET THE PARENTS**

_Title Card_

_The picture shows Barbara and Earl, looking over their newborn son._

"You want some more bacon, Beema?" Cake asked the little video game consul/computer. The Treehouse was thick with the smell of bacon, eggs, syrup, butter, and waffles. The three residents of the house, Fionna, Cake, and Beema, were sitting around the kitchen table, the surface covered in dirty plates and glasses.

"Yes please." The computer replied.

Cake reached into the frying pan, took out four nice pieces of bacon, and put them onto the computer's plate. The computer smiled.

Cake turned to her sister. "How about you, Fifi? You need a refill?"

"I'm pretty full, Cupcake." Fionna set her cup down and started pressing down on her stomach. "But let me see if I can...rearange..." She paused a moment, then dropped her arms to her sides. "Guess not."

"Fifi, I don't know if stomachs work like that." Cake frowned.

"It helps sometimes." Fionna shrugged.

"Can't argue with that." Cake shrugged. She then relaxed, putting her feet on the table. "Ahhh..."

Fionna copied her. "Ahh..."

"I feel good, Fifi. My head is good."

"Yeah."

Beema put her arms to her upper sides. "Ah."

The peacefulness was cut off by a sudden ringing. Cake grumbled and hopped out of her seat, she padded over to the cabinet, where she picked up her cell phone. When she opened it, it let out a series of beeps and ringing rang out, putting the message in Morse Code. Cake dialed back. Then the caller dialed back. Cake dialed back one last time before shutting her phone.

"Was that Lord Monochromicorn?" Fionna asked.

"Yeah." Cake sighed and picked up a picture of her and Lord Monochromicorn hugging. "He's worried about me meeting his parents today. He thinks they're going to go bananas."

"THAT'S bananas." Fionna assured her sister with a smile. "You're the coolest gal in Aaa. Everyone loves you."

"I mean, duh!" Cake flashed a smile. "But he's so nervous."

"Maybe you should give his parents some treasure. Make sure everything goes smoov."

"Nah. That's OUR treasure." Cake climbed back in her seat. "I'll invite them over early, smoov them over with my personality, and then we'll be best friends before Lordy gets here so he won't be nervous. This idea is perfect! I'll just send them a message."

She went over to an odd-looking machine on a small desk and began typing.

_-.. . .- .-. / - .-. .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / - .-. ... .-.-.- / - - -. - -.-. ... .-. - - .. -.-. - .-. -. .-.-.- / .-. .-.. . .- ... . / -.-. - - . / - ...- . .-. / ..-. - .-. / .-.. ..- -. -.-. ... / - ..- -.-. ... / . .- .-. .-.. .. . .-. .-.-.- / .. / -... ..- .-. .-. / -... ..- - - . .-. ..-. .-.. .. . ... .-.-.- / ..-. .-. - - -..- / -.-. .- -.- . .-.-.-_

Cake picked up what looked like a black diamond and swiped it over the paper. When it did, the words seemed to seep into it like water into a sponge. Cake, with the black diamond pulsing gray, stepped over to the window. She opened it and held up the diamond. With a sound like a single note on a harp, a beam of grey and black shot out of the diamond like a bullet.

A few moments later, a beam shot back into the diamond, nearly knocking Cake over. She closed the window and sat back down.

"What's it say?" Fionna asked.

"Hold on-it's still converting the shadow energy into brain energy." Out of nowhere, a thin beam of black hit right between Cake's eyes, leaving a small black dot. "Ow..." She paused, then beamed. "They're into it!"

"Sweet!" Fionna cheered. "Let's go powder our noses!"

000000000000000

"So what's the deal?" Fionna asked, pulling on one of her black Mary Jane shoes as her sister brushed out her tail. "Why'd Mo-Chro so nervous?"

"He didn't really say..." Cake said thoughtfully, looking into the distance. "But it might have to do with the Monochromicorn-Cat Wars."

Fionna's jaw formed an 'O.' "There were wars between Monochromicorns and Cats?"

"Terrible wars." Cake shivered. "The MonoCat Wars lasted for thousands of years." Cake reached into a drawer and took out a pen and a writing pad. "Monochroicorns battled Cats over territory in the Diamond Realm." She held up a very detailed picture of Monochromicorns and cats clawing, biting, hissing, and firing at each other. "But me and Lordy are cool. He doesn't believe in violence."

Fionna gasped like her lungs had exploded. "You and Lordy might be cool, but what about his parents?"

"I...I'm sure...I think they're...fine..."

"But you don't know for sure. If this is why Mo-Chro is nervous, then his parents are probably all full of cat hatred from the MonoCat war times. They're going to see that you're a cat, and ban you from hanging with Mo-Chro ever again!"

Cake paused, her forehead furrowed. "Nah. That could never happen."

"You didn't think this through enough!" Fionna exclaimed. _"It could happen."_

Cake let out a frustrated cry. "You're right! I'M A FOOL!"

"Don't worry." Fionna wrapped an arm around her sister. "I got a legit plan. Sistahs help sistahs. Always."

"I'm ready to hear it." Cake's tail trembled with anticipation.

"OK. It's a musical plan. I'm going to whisper the lyrics to you, then we're gonna sing it." Fionna leaned into her sister's ear and whispered.

000000000

_**Fionna and Cake: **__Coal! Ash! Black and gray!_

_**Cake: **__Lordy's parents, I say hey!_

_I'm the woman for your son,_

_Please forget the wartime annihalation!_

_**Both: **__Home improvement, decorations._

_Help me impress his relations._

_Fionna: Onyx stone, and silver jelly._

_Cake: Spread that colors on my belly!_

_Fionna: On the floors and on my hat._

_Cake: Please don't notice I'm a cat!  
><em>

0000000000000000

Cake was grimacing. The entire Treehouse was splattered in black and gray and a bit of white, on the ceilings, between the floorboards, on the walls, covering the furniture. Fionna looked like a raincloud threw up on her, for crying out loud. Beema hid upstairs, saying that if anything got into her data, she'd short out. But Cake knew she looked worse of all. She was stretched out like a Monochromicorn, complete with a horn, and Fionna had slathered her in jelly, had rubbed her down in coal, and had dumped ash all over her. She looked like a walking onyx stone.

"This is perfect!" Cake called.

"You know, Fifi, I thought covering ourselves in dark colors with coal and stuff from the graveyards so we could pretend to be Monochromicorns was a good idea when you pitched it to me five minutes ago. Now I'm not so sure."

"Aw, come on, sistah." Fionna assured her feline sister. "We got this in the bag."

"No, no, new plan." Cake shook her head. "We gotta clean this place up-"

DING DONG

_"Cake?" _A voice from outside, unfamiliar and fuzzy, asked.

Cake screamed. _**"LET'S HIDE AND BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!"**_

But finally, the door opened ever-so-slightly, and Cake pushed her muzzle out. "Hello?"

"Cake? Is that you? We recieved your message to arrive early." A male voice spoke up. Lordy's Dad, no doubt.

"...uh..."

"...Are you going to let us in?"

"...Yeaaaaah..."

Taking a deep breath, Cake opened the door all the way, giving them full view of her, her ash-coated sister, and the entire, black-and-grey covered house.

Lord Monochromicorn's father yelled out in surprise.

Cake felt her breath hitch. "I CAN EXPLAIN! I CAN EXPLAIN!"

"Oh, isn't she gorgeous." Lord Monochromicorn's father, Earl, sighed. He was very, very long, completely black with short gray hair and circular glasses. His voice was a bit static, and Cake saw the Universal Translators attatched to both of their necks. Oh, right. She had given Lord Monochromicorn two other Translators for his parents. "Our son has finally found a beautiful Monochromicorn to love."

"Yes, honey, she's very pretty." Lord Monochromicorn's mother Barbara said. She was rather short, with long gray hair and triangular glasses. She, too, spoke through a Universal Translator.

"You...You think I'm a Monochromicorn." Cake was frozen in surprise.

Barbara frowned. "I think we can spot a member of our own kind, Cake. We're not blind."

"Well, we are a little blind..." Earl put in.

"Well, hey, come on in." Cake stepped aside. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you." Barbara said, and she and Earl stepped inside.

"You're house is so...dark...and black..." Earl commented. Then he smiled. "I like it!" His eyes rested on the still-dancing Fionna.

Fionna whispered across the room to Cake. "It's working, sistah!"

However, Barbara looked baffled and confused. "Cake, what is that thing that is speaking?"

Cake looked between Barbara and Fionna. "That's...uhm...that...is..."

"I'm Cake's Monochromicorn roomate." Fionna spoke up cheerfully. "Let us commence in the traditional Monochromicorn Mono Dance! _Duierfn foafu fhoofu." _She began to dance in a twitchy, waving manner.

As Earl shieled his eyes, Barbara turned to Cake with a disgusted, offended look on her face. "Cake, please ask your 'roomate' to stop insulting my heritage."

"Yes, Mrs. Lordy's Mama." Cake stepped over to Fionna sternly. "Go fetch us some Monochromicorn snacks, roomate-slash-servant!"

Fionna frowned, confused. "But..."

Cake winked at her secretly. "Come on, sistah. Help me."

"YOU GOT IT!" Fionna dashed out of the room, beaming.

Cake turned to Barbara and Earl. "Please. Have a seat."

The two Monochromicorns glided into the room, taking seats on their maroon sofa. "My roomate-slash-servant will bring us snacks in a moment." Cake said nicely.

"Thank you, Cake." Barbara smiled. "I'm glad my husband and I made this trip from the Diamond Realm."

"Yes, indeed." Earl smiled. "We're eager to learn about this lovely young Monochromicorn dating our son."

"Well, you may ask me whatever you like." Cake offered, sitting in a wooden chair. "I'm an open book not to be judged by my pretty cover." She laughed nervously.

"I, for one, am curious about your roomate-slash-servant." Earl spoke up curiously. "Where did you find her? She looks rather odd."

"Well, to be completely honest, Earl, my roomate-slash-servant is actually a human." Cake smiled. She was always amused by Fionna's title: _Fionna the Human._

Barbara and Earl both gasped. Cake beamed at first, but then frowned a bit in worry. Were Lordy's parents..._drooling?_

"A live human?" Barbara breathed. "In this house?"

Cake looked at then in bizarre confusion. "Is that...OK?"

As if snapping out of a mesmerising trance, the two Monochromicorns wiped the drool gushing from their mouths.

"Oh, yes," Barbara said with a hint of nervous laughter. "It's just that humans are so exotic and rare. We've never seen one before."

"Oh, Barb." Earl sighed. "If Cake can afford a human servant, our future grandchildren are going to be gorgeous AND rich!"

"Thank, you, Cake, for being interested in our son." Barbara said, as if she were in the presence of a royal.

"No problem, Mrs. Lordy's Mama."

"Please, call us Barb and Earl."

"I know!" Earl spoke up excitedly. "Let's play some Monochromicorn games! It's a good way to get to know each other!"

"Hey, Cake," Earl spoke up. "Do you wanna play _Nrocimorhconom?"_

"...Could you repeat that?"

"_Nrocimorhconom. _Every Monochromicorn knows _Nrocimorhconom."_

"Oh! _Nrocimorhconom! _I thought you said Nroc**a**morh**e**nom!" Cake was trembling. "But I LOVE _Nrocimorhconom! _Thought you two should probably go first."

"Bold move letting your oponent go first, Cake." Barbara said. "I respect that."

She stood up and took a deep breath. Then, she turned to the green drapes in the window. Her horn went up in black light, and in the blink of an eye, the drapes were red. Monochromicorns had the power to change anything's color to its opposite color.

Cake stood in shock. She couldn't do that.

Just then, Fionna strode in with two trays of cubed cheese, cheese-and-peanute-butter sandwhiches, and spaghetti balls. "I got the snacks!"

"Fifi!" Cake beamed in relief. She stepped over to Fionna and dropped her voice so that only she could hear. "Girl, I have to show Lordy's parents I have opposite-color powers! I need sistah help!"

Fionna paused before smiling. "OK, you point your horn at me, and I'll take care of the rest."

"You're the best, Fifi."

Cake stepped back. Fionna took a very deep breath of air as Cake held up her 'horn.' They stood there for a moment, and then Fionna started to turn red. Then purple. Then blue. Finally, she gasped out and fell to the floor, breathing helplessly.

Barbara and Earl applauded. "How odd. I liked it." Barbara commented.

Cake turned to Fionna. She was trembling, still gasping for air. "Fifi?"

"We're having a wonderful time, Cake!" Earl beamed.

"How about some more games?" offered Babara.

Cake hesitated. "Uh..." she smiled a bit. "Sure..."

"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" They all cheered.

000000000000

The next game was _Ecar, _which consisted of the 'three' Monochromicorns flying around the house. Not exactly racing, but testing out their flying ability. Earl and Barbara showed themselves to be agile, speedy flyers. As Cake moved through the house, she looked down at Fionna, who was hidden under her body and was also carrying her to create the illusion of flying. She was panting, flushed, her limbs were definately aching under Cake's doubled weight. "Sorry, Fifi."

00000000

The next game was _Nroh. _Barbara, Earl, and Cake faced each other. Then, they began to clash their horns together (Cake was grateful, Fifi didn't have to do anything.) Cake moved carefully. Barbara and Earl's horns were real and kinda sharp, which hers was made out of skin and fur and could easily be scratched. Earl looked down at Fionna, who was waiting down below, doing absolutely nothing. Out of nowhere, he swooped down to Fionna with his horn pointed. Fionna yelped as she felt the sharp horn pound into her stomach. To make matters worse, she crashed into their cabinet, and a waterfall of books tumbled down on her. As she groaned in pain, she looked at Cake, who looked sincerely apologetic.

00000000

The fourth and final game was _Gnirps. _Fionna squirmed in Barbara's arms as the female Monochromicorn carried her out of the house to one of the grassy hills outside. When they got there, Earl was coiled together like a spring, with Cake standing next to him, looking worriedly at her confused sister. Without a word, Barbara tossed Fionna into the open circle in Earl's coiled form. Suddenly, Earl sprang up, sending Fionna flying. She flew into a green bottle on a log, scratching her arm, before landing like a sack of rocks on the ground. She groaned at the pain in her ribs and her now-bloody knee. She felt herself being picked up again.

Barbara tossed Fionna into the now-coiled Cake. Fionna opened her sore eyes at her sister, shaking her head weakly, begging her not to send her flying. Cake looked painfully down at her bruised, scratched, and slightly-bloodied sister. Then she glanced at Barbara and Earl, who were urging her arm. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sprang up, sending Fionna tumbling through the air.

Instead of knocking into one of the bottles, Fionna went WAY higher and ended up crashing through the roof of the Treehouse, and finally onto the wooden floor. She felt so sore and exhausted. She peeked down at herself, taking in her body: scrathced limbs, a bloody knee, her left side bruised, and a broken fingernail, not to mention her dirtied clothes.

She heard footsteps. She almost ran to hide, thinking it would be one of Lord Monochromicorn's parents come to fetch her, but she instead found Cake stepping in through the doorway. "Hey, Fifi."

Fionna turned her face angrily from her sister.

"How's it going?" Cake asked.

Fionna span around. "IT'S GOING SNOT-CRUD, CUPCAKE!"

"I know, and I'm sorry." Cake said sincerely. "But your plan is working! They really like me!"

"Being socked in the gut and laughed at was not in the plan, Cake. _NOT. __**IN. **__**THE PLAN."**_

"I know, sistah, but-"

"DON'T 'SISTAH' ME! I'M THE ONE GIVING ALL THE SISTAHING, AND YOU'RE JUST TAKING! Why aren't you helping me when I'm getting hurt?"

"Look, Fifi, you know I got your back forevah, but right now, I need you, man. If I don't please them, they won't approve of me and Lordy going out anymore. C'mon, sistah." She stepped over and wiped some dirt from her human sister's cheek. "Sistah help sistahs."

Fionna couldn't help but smile.

And, as if they were called in, Barbara and Earl entered the room.

"Hi!" Cake smiled. "You ready to get the game going again?"

"Oh, no, we're exhausted!" Earl smiled, slightly panting.

"We were just about to break out the picnic basket and dig in!"

"No way. You are my guests. Fifi can help us." Cake assured them politely. "She'll make a great lunch. She has AMAZING taste. Go get us some food, Fifi!" Fionna nodded cheerfully and bounded off into the kitchen.

"WOW!" Barbara gasped. "Wealthy AND incredibly generous!"

"I was hoping, but I was so afraid to ask!" Earl blushed a bit.

Fionna came through the doorway, carrying a tray of bowls holding peas, noodles, and bits of corn, all swimming in a nice broth.

Babara and Earl glided over, and Cake frowned. They didn't even seem to notice the bowls of soup. They were looking at...Fionna?

"I can't wait." Earl took a deep whiff of Fionna's hat, causing the human girl to shrink back a bit in confusion. "She smells delicious."

"I'm so famished." Suddenly, Barbara lifted up Fionna's foot and took off her shoe. Fionna stood still, thinking, _This is probably a Monochromicorn tradition or something _as Barbara pulled off her sock, leaving her foot bare.

Then, bizarrely, Barbara licked her leg from her bare toes to her knee.

Fionna let out a little yelp and jumped back in disgust and surprise, causing some of the soup to spill onto the tray, and bumped into Earl's long body. The male Monochromicorn took hold of her backpack and pulled. It lifted up Fionna's arms, causing her to drop the tray. The tray and the bowls landed with a chorus of thuds, and with mutltiple splashes, noodles, peas, and corn spread out onto the floor in a gush. Earl ripped off Fionna's baclpack savagely. "CUPCAKE! THEY'RE TRYING TO EAT ME!"

"Of course we do." Earl said in a shockingly raspy voice as Barbara continued to lick Fionna's leg, causing the human girl to squirm. "Cake said you had great taste. Tell her, Cake."

Cake had been watching the entire thing, disgusted, confused, and weirded out. "I...augh..."

"Cupcake, c'mon!" Fionna cried out. Earl was tugging on her hat now, and Barbara had clenched her teeth into her skirt, trying to rip it off.

Cake thought hard. If she told them to stop, they would probably be mad at her. But if she let them carry on, they'd eat her sister.

"Cupca-AAAAHHH!" Fionna let out a screech as Barbara bit into her thigh. A trickle of blood ran down her leg.

Fionna couldn't take it. All the jeering, laughing, pushing, scratching, punching, flying, Barbara's biting, and Earl's fooling with her hat send her overboard. She raised a fist, causing Earl to let go of her hat. She broguht her fist to Barbara's cheek. "Knock it off, BARB!"

Earl literally hissed. He brought his hand and delivered it to Fionna's stomach. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY WIFE!"

Fionna brought her foot to his jaw.

Cake watched from her chair, unsure of what to say or do. "Uh...guys...stop, please...Fifi?" She winced as Barbara gored Fionna with her horn. "Oh, Grob, what have I done?" She watched as Barbara bit Fionna's leg, and Fionna tackled Earl. She narrowed her eyes. "Hey, come on! I said stop!"

Fionna cried out as Barbara and Earl advanced on Fionna.

Cake snarled. With the sound of a popping balloon, she practically exploded in size. She filled up the entire room, covering every single thing in the room, apart from the three other living organisms. Every bit of ash, coal, and onyx blew off of her fur. She glared down at Barbara and Earl.

"THAT IS IT!" She bellowed. "SHE'S NOT MY ROOMATE, SHE'S NOT MY SERVANT, AND SHE IS SURELY NOT YOUR LUNCH! _FIONNA IS MY SISTER!_"

Barbara and Earl gasped.

"I'm sorry, Fifi." Cake picked up her sister in one paw. "I'm sorry I let the lies get too out of hand. I was just so scared of losing Lordy. But never again. It's not worth it. If they hate me, then so be it. No more lies."

And, with a breath or air, she shrunk back to her normal cat size.

Babara and Earl gawked.

Earl sputtered. "Y-y-y-you're a CAT!"

"Yeah." Cake sighed, knowing her chances with Lord Monochromicorn were all gone. "I just...I'm sorry about everything. I-"

"HUZZAH!"

Cake looked up to see Barbara and Earl...dancing? They were twirling and spinning and jumping all over.

_"Oh, Today is a happy day._

_Hip, hip, hooray._

_Today is the day._

_This gal is a super pal_

_Oh, me. Oh, my._

_A super pal._

_We are the lucky ones._

_Son of a gun, the lucky ones._

_The lucky, lucky ones."_

They coiled around Cake, hugging and petting her all over. Cake looked around, confused out of her wits. "Fifi...what are they..." A shadow loomed over her, and she looked up. "Lordy?"

Lord Monochromicorn stood in the doorway, taking in the scene and shaking his head. "- ... ? / .. / .- .- ... / .- - .-. .-. .. . -.. / - ... . -.- / .- - ..- .-.. -.. / ..-. .-. . .- -.- / - ..- - ? / - -.- / .-. .- .-. . -. - ... / .- .-. . / -... .- -. .- -. .- ... / ..-. - .-. / -.-. .- - ... ? / .- / -.-. .- - / ... .- ...- . -.. / - -.- / - - - / .. -. / .- / .- .- .-. ?"

"What'd he say?" Fionna asked her sister.

"He said he was worried his parents would freak out-because they're bananas for cats!" Cake added the last part in glee.

"Flip! What the zip?" Fionna asked. Lord Momochromicorn handed her a piece of paper.

"Yeah. A cat saved her mom in the war."

Fionna looked at the picture. It showed Barbara, in a older-looking nurse's outfit, her arm in a cast. She was younger, with curlier hair and different glasses. She stood next to a cat. Fionna's eyebrows raised. The cat looked almost exactly like Cake, but with another nurse's uniform, and with darker fur. "Cupcake, she looks just like you. That's flipping awesome."

00000000000000

And so, the five of them decided to just eat what was in Barbara and Earl's picnic basket. They moved outdoors to a nice, sunny place on a grassy hill. Fionna sat still, watching them all (minus Cake) poke their forks into whatever they were eating and shovelling it into their mouths.

"Fionna, dear, do you need anything?" Earl asked. "Some more Lem-Mono-Ade, or some Mono-iced tea-corn?"

Fionna looked up, embarassed that she was being talked to and didn't know it. "I'm sorry, what?"

Earl sighed. "Listen, Fionna. I want you to know how sorry we are for trying to eat you."

"We just thought we'd never get another chance." Barbara said through a mouthful of food. "We thought humans were extinct.

"Oh..."

Cake looked down at whatever they were eating. Her helping was oddly shaped like an arm. "So...this isn't human?"

"Oh, no," Earl chuckled. "This is SOY people. I've never eaten real human before, but I hear you can't even tell the difference."

Fionna, curiously, poked the little helping of soy people on her plate. A gush of soy sauce came from it.

Cake sighed as she looked at her helping. She picked up her fork and shrugged. "Well, when in Rome..." She picked off a piece and put it in her mouth, chewing.

Her face lit up like the sun. "FIFI, YOU'RE DELECIOUS!"

Fionna looked at the table of people, all enjoying the soy people. She took off a piece of hers and put it in her mouth.

She beamed.

TRIVIA

According to Barbara, humans were thought to be extinct.


	39. The Hulls

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Bunnies-The Bunnies are six kits that come from the first hull. The six kits are all dressed differently: One of them is a witch in a black dress and hat, one is a ninja in a purple outfit, one is a nurse in a white costume, one is a butterfly with wings, one is a angel with wings and a halo, and one is a cupcake.

**THE HULLS**

_Title Card_

_Fionna squints through the light the box gives off as she opens it_

"Cupcake!" Fionna called after her feline sister, panting as she ran. They had been running for half an hour now. She needed a break.

Cake, who had a plate of vanilla cake with strawberry frosting in her paws, turned to her sister, putting another forkful of cake into her mouth. She turned in a curve to face her, but continued to move her feet/paws. "Yeah?"

Fionna stopped before her, bending over on her knees. "Shouldn't we...conserve out energy...?" she panted. "The Cakathon...is tomorrow. 30 miles of all-you-can-eat cake, as long as you keep moving." She moved two of her fingers to show a person walking.

Cake scoffed and took another bite of cake. "I know what the Cakathon is. I've been training for weeks. I am determined to eat more cake than anyone else there. My name is Cake, Fifi. I was born for this."

Fionna looked at her sister curiously. "You sure do like cake."

"Cake is good, Fifi." she took another bite of cake.

There was a distant "creaik" sound.

Cake stopped jogging in place. "What the mammy-jammy was that?"

"I think it came from over here." Fionna turned to her right and walked away. Cake followed, still eating cake.

When Fionna came to a wall of bushes, she spread them apart like curtains. There, standing on a large rock, was a little forest sprite. She looked like a little bundle of leaves, with four twigs coming out for arms and legs. Two rocks and two bendy twigs formed the eyes and mouth. She held a sharp stick as a weapon. "Cupcake, look! It's a forest sprite!"

Cake looked at the sprite. "She's too big for a sprite. I think she's just a bunch of leaves."

"Actually, I'm a forest sprite turned INTO a bunch of leaves." The sprite said, in a chirpy-bird sound, before letting out a "creaik" sound. "I just continued being a sprite."

Fionna and Cake approached the rock she stood on. "And now you're, what, attracting a mate?" Fionna asked.

"Wh-? No! I'm on the brink of death!" the sprite exclaimed.

"Oh." Cake said. "Well, you should just let go, girl." She looked about to take a bite of cake, until she realized her fork was missing. She looked on the ground around them.

"Yeah you've had a good run." Fionna assured the sprite. "Go enjoy the afterlife."

"I cannot leave this life until I find a being pure of heart and full of spirit," The sprite 'creakied,' "to take over my quest."

"QUEST?" Fionna exclaimed in a bubbly voice filled with hope.

"Uh-ohhhhh." Cake smirked. "Someone's gonna do a quest for a bundle of leaves."

"Tell us more about this quest." Fionna sat down with her legs crossed, like a child waiting to be read a story. Cake set down next to her, her plate of cake in her lap.

"It's very, very crucial." The sprite reached behind her and took out a box. It was no bigger than a baseball, and was decorated with flowery designs. "I must guard these magic seeds."

Fionna and Cake stared. "...What now?" asked Cake.

"Two of these seeds are good." The sprite explained. "But one is demonically evil! I have no idea which is which, they keep getting scrambled up. So I've spent my life guarding them to prevent them from being planted.

"...Seeds." Cake said shortly. Then, chuckling, she stood. "Magic seeds, ha ha. We'll be right back. C'mon, Fifi, I think I dropped my fork in the bushes."

"We shall accept your quest!" Fionna declared to the sprite.

The sprite looked surprised. "Really?"

"Sure, why not?" She picked up the little flowery box. "Consider it protected."

"Also, I want you to take this." The sprite held out her sharp-stick weapon to her.

Fionna took it. It really looked like a gigantic tooth-pick. "Thanks...?"

"No, thank _you_." A silvery-green mist appeared around the sprite. She took a deep breath, like she were breathing fresh air after being inside somewhere so long. In one breath, her leaves fell away into the breeze of the wind. A little green girl-sprite now stood on the rock, with long forest green hair and light green skin with a oak-leaf dress. Fionna stared in awe.

Cake walked up to Fionna with her fork in hand. "What'd I miss?"

"We took up the quest."

"_What?" _Cake exclaimed in annoyance. "The seeds? Hold on-"

"Too late she accepted." And with a little flash of green light, nothing remained of the sprite but a little purple orchid.

Fionna and Cake gaped in awe. Fionna sighed. "I miss her already."

"Well..." Cake turned around. "We should get a move on, if we wanna make it to the Cakathon."

"What about the quest?" Fionna help up the tooth-pick and the box.

Cake walked back in surprise. "We're seriously doing the seed quest?"

"I gave her my word." Fionna said in a whispery voice."

"Yeah..." Cake twirled her fork in the frosting of her cake. "I wasn't here for that, so...can't we be guards AND eat cake?"

"No, Cupcake. We're on the job. Like you always say: 'work and fun don't mix...'"

"...'unless you're a clown." Cake sighed. "I do say that a lot.

* * *

><p>AN HOUR LATER<p>

They were bored out of their minds. They stood on either side of the rock, in the hot sun, with nobody or thing coming into view. Fionna sighed. "Clear on this side. How about your side?"

"All clear." huffed Cake, not understanding why SHE had to do this if SHE wasn't the one who swore to do it. "No one coming to plant those stupid seeds." She scraped her now-empty plate with her fork, trying to pick up the remaining frosting. She groaned. The sun was making her fur damp with sweat, and her tail was limp. "Gee, sitting in this hot, blistering sun sure does beat thirty miles of vanilla cake...or strawberry cake...or mint cake..."

There was a long silence.

A light-bulb almost appeared above Cake's head. "Hey! Why don't we plant the seeds ourselves?"

Fionna turned to her as if she had gone mad. "Are you nuts?"

"Hear me out." Cake gestured to the flowery box sitting next to the orchid. She opened the box, showing the three small seeds. "If one of these seeds is evil, then it's our job to crush it once and for all."

Fionna seemed to be considering it.

"Plus, don't forget that two of the seeds are good! If we plant all of them, we'd be letting twice as much good into the world!"

"Plus, we could make it to the Cakathon!" Fionna chimed in happily.

"I hadn't even thought of that!"

_So they planted the seeds,_

_And waited for evil to grow-ho-oh!_

_So they could kill it, and go-ho-ho,_

_To the Cakathon._

* * *

><p>The night sky was deep blue, speckled with bright stars. The moon shone down brightly, covering the land in silvery blue light. Fionna stared at the three little dirt humps where they had planted the seeds. They and waited all day for them to grow, and they hadn't even seen the slightest signs of growth.<p>

Cake reached into her sister's pack and took out a feather pillow and blanket. "I'm taking a catnap."

"But we have to be ready for the evil!" exclaimed Fionna.

"Let's do it in shifts, Fifi. If we stay awake together, we'll both get tired and fall asleep at the same time. If we take shifts, one of us would be sleeping and the other would be keeping guard."

"That's a good idea." smiled Fionna. "You're pretty smart, for a lazy bum."

Cake snored.

_Alright, Fionna. The ground is ripe with evil. Evil that could sprout at any moment...like...RIGHT NOW?!_

Fionna stared down at the dirt. "I would stab you right now, if I knew which seed you were."

After another hour or so, Fionna shook Cake's arm drowsily. "You're shift."

Cake slapped her hand away in her sleep.

Fionna looked down at the dirt, watching as the silvery blue light of the moon got darker and darker...

* * *

><p>Fionna felt the ground shake. She groaned in her sleep, wanting to rest just a bit longer. Fluttering her eyes opened, she screamed.<p>

A GIGANTIC stalk rose before them, with car-sized leaves and a green surface. Fionna unsheathed her ruby sword. She shook her feline sister. "Cupcake! This is it!"

"Huyah?" Cake sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Fifi, your shift isn't over yet. I still have eight more hours-" she suddenly caught sight of the stalk. "MOTHER GOOSE!"

A shadow began to grow on them. Looking up, they saw a large hull coming down to them, a slit going down its side to open. They stepped back as it came down to the floor. Fionna gripped her sword so hard her knuckles turned white. But after a few long moments of the hull being still and unmoving, she let out a frustrated cry. "I CAN'T TELL IF IT'S EVIL YET!"

In answer, the hull began to tremble, giving off a sound like a rumbling stomach. Fionna set her jaw and prepared for whatever evil was to come. Cake made a shield with her hands. Just as the slit of the hull burst open, Fionna let out a warrior cry-

And froze. "Wha-?"

Six baby bunnies were sleeping in a pile before them, snoring softly. They were all dressed in different costumes, like little Halloween children. One was a witch, with a black spider-web-like dress and pointed hat. Another was a ninja in a purple uniform. Another was dressed as a butterfly, simply with a pair of wings on its back. Another one was a nurse in a white dress. Another was an angel, with white wings and a hovering halo. The last one was dressed as a cupcake, complete with a wrapper and sprinkles.

Cake let out a bubbly squeal and knelt down next to them. "Look how adorable they are, all sleepy and dressed up!" She squealed again.

"Careful, Cupcake. This could be a trap. We should test them to see if they're..._eeeevil..."_

* * *

><p>All the bunnies were seated in old-school desks, yawning and rubbing their eyes from their sudden awakening. Fionna handed out the test sheets to them, while Cake handed out the pencils. "Alright, you each get one test and one pencil. Cheating is strictly forbidden. If your test results prove you to be fairly good, we will not kill you. You all have one hour to complete the test." Fionna picked up her sword. "And...begin."<p>

*ONE HOUR LATER*

By the time the tests were to be taken up, all the desks were toppled over, the sheets were scattered, the pencils laid around at random, and all the bunnies laying on top randomly.

Cake cooed. "Look how they can barely hold their pencils."

"That doesn't go good towards their grade point average."

"Nothing evil can be this ADORABLE!" Cake gushed as she watched the nurse bunny scribble on its test sheet like a toddler drawing a picture.

Fionna picked up all the papers and stacked them evenly. She looked down at the tests sheet before her.

yoo liKe puppeEs?

yoo haVe allerGieS?

yoo eaT panCakes?

is yooR miDDle nAme?

"The only thing on here is a cute drawing of a cake under 'do you have allergies?'. Nothing evil. Alright, the bunnies are good."

"YES!" Cake ran over to the bunnies, bouncing up and down. "You gals hear that? You passed! School's out!" She picked up the nurse bunny and began to toss it into the air, catching it as it silently laughed.

The bunnies hopped around excitedly. Fionna smiled. "They are adorable!"

There was a rumble from the earth beneath them. Fionna watched as a huge stalk, identical to the first one (but blue), erupted from the earth. "Cupcake, get ready!" Fionna quickly picked up her sword. "The second hull is coming! Protect the bunnies!"

"Come on, my darlings!" Cake picked them all up with huge hands and stepped away.

A huge hull fell down before Fionna with a loud 'thump!' "SHOW ME WHAT YOU HOLD WITHIN, HULL!"

With a 'splortch,' the hull burst open.

A mountain of mufti-colored candy fell onto the earth, their wrappers shining in the sun. The hull shriveled away. Fionna stared. "Candy?"

"Holy balognas!" Cake let the bunnies go and dashed over to the mountain of candy, and reached for a silver one with rainbow dots.

"Stop, Cupcake!" Fionna cried. "It may be-!"

Cake popped the candy into her mouth. It tasted like strawberries and pears. In seconds, she felt a tingling in her paws. Looking down, she saw multi-colored sparkles shimmering from her paws. She moved one paw up and down, and the sparkles continued to erupt from it. "IT'S CANDY THAT MAKES YOUR HANDS POOP GLITTER! WHAT'S GOODER THAN THAT?"

Cake took a bunch of candies and brought them to the bunnies, who bounded to them excitedly. Fionna noticed how they avoided some candy, like the bright red and the black ones, but shrugged it off.

Fionna sheathed her sword and picked up a rainbow-striped candy, popping it into her mouth. She felt her mouth tingle. She blew out a breath, and a rainbow burst form her mouth before disappearing. "Gliter candy COULD be evil. But RAINBOW candy? OVER MY DEAD BODY." When the rainbow magic disappeared, Fionna sighed tiredly. "Now we only have to wait for the evil hull to come. Then we'll destroy it."

"And then we're off to the Cakathon!" added Cake cheerfully as her fur turned blue to orange to red to green. "And we'll eat until we throw up!"

"Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure we've got a lot of time to kill." said Fionna. "You think these bunnies know any games?"

*THREE GAMES OF PATTYCAKE, SIX GAMES OF CHECKERS, FOUR GAMES OF SOCCER, AND ONE HOUSE LATER*

Fionna wiped the sweat from her eyebrows. The house they had built was rather small, but big enough for all the bunnies to stay in together. She dropped down to the grass, sitting up against the side of the house.

"I'm exhausted." panted Cake. The witch bunny, the ninja bunny, and the butterfly bunny snuggled up to her.

Fionna smiled as the other three bunnies laid against her. "They look so adorable when they're sleepy. But we have to stay alert. The evil hull could appear at any time. When it does, we have to destroy it."

"I'll take the first shift." Cake said tiredly, the bags under her eyes dark and heavy.

"Thanks." Fionna barely finished the word before she fell asleep.

Cake felt her eyelids get heavier by the second. She snapped herself awake, knowing she promised Fionna.

That was when she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Fionna's eyes split open. With a yawn, she looked around. How long had she been asleep? It felt like she had only been asleep for a few-<p>

Wait. Asleep?

SLEEP?

SHE WAS SLEEPING?

"CUPCAKE WE FELL ASLEEP!" Fionna's shrill cry snapped Cake awake immediately.

The feline let out a cry of surprise when she saw the truth as well. She looked up at her sister, who had her mouth wide open. "Fifi?"

Fionna pointed up.

The last pod was hanging before them. IT WAS GIGANTIC. The size of a helicopter. It was bulging and moving, ready to burst at any moment.

"Is this the evil one?" Cake asked.

"Yeah." Fionna unsheathed her sword.

"This one is way bigger than the other two." Cake muttered nervously.

"We gotta kill it, right now." Fionna said as she approached the bulging hull.

As if snarling at them, the hull began to shake and rumble. Fionna and Cake let out battle cries.

They jumped on top of the hull. Cake pounded it with her giant fists. Fionna slashed at it with her sword. But no matter how hard they attacked it, they barely made a dent. This hull was way thicker than all the others. But they didn't stop. Fionna continued to hack at the hull with her sword. Cake jumped back down to the earth, continuing to pound at the hull. She punched it again, and felt the hull sink a bit beneath her fist. Opening her eyes, she saw a little opening in the hull. Something pink could be seen inside. "Fifi, come look at this!"

Fionna jumped down to her sister and looked inside the hull. "What is that stuff?"

"I dunno." Cake reached inside and patted the thing to see if it was safe to grab. She tore off a chunk of the stuff and examined it. It was soft and pink and fell into little crumbs in her paw. Curiously, she took a bite of it. "This stuff tastes good, Fifi. Exactly like strawberries." She reached inside and tore off some more.

Fionna gawked at her sister. "Don't EAT it, Cupcake! It's evil!"

"No it isn't." Cake opened the opening in the hull wider. She gasped. "IT'S CAKE!"

Fionna looked inside and gasped. It was cake. Mountains and mountains of cake of every kind. Almond cake, banana cake, caramel cake, hazelnut cake, lemon cake, orange cake, strawberry cake, vanilla cake, chocolate cake, peanut butter cake, red velvet cake, mint cake, and so many more. It was a cake-lover's dream.

Cake reached inside and, with both paws, ripped off some red velvet and white chocolate cake, stuffing it into her mouth. She shoveled cake into her mouth wildly.

"Is the evil sucking you in?" asked Fionna worriedly. Cake's body began to swell like a balloon. "CUPCAKE?" She grabbed her tail and pulled her out.

Cake was smiling deliriously. "That was the most amazing experience of my life."

"Are you poisoned?" Fionna said in a blur. "How do you feel? Count to ten!"

"I'm fine, Fifi. Really."

Fionna noticed a movement in the hull. "Cupcake, look! It's filling back up!"

Cake looked inside. It was like she hadn't even a single bite. If anything, there was more cake than before. She took her tongue and scooped up a chunk of cake. It refilled itself. "THIS HULL MAKES CAKE OUT OF NOTHING! THIS IS THE GOODEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!"

Fionna looked baffled. "But if THIS isn't the evil hull, then which one was...?"

They stood there in thick, heavy silence as the sun beat down overhead. The cake was definitely good. And the candy showed no harm. But if it wasn't the cake, and it wasn't the candy...

Fionna spoke up. "The bunnies are gone."

"And so is the candy." added Cake.

There was yet another silence.

This time, it was broken off by a shrill scream. Fionna and Cake jumped. The scream was followed by a sparky blast. They ran and ran until they came to a wall of trees, which they burst through.

Flower Town was under attack. The houses, all tall, hollow flowers with windows and doors, were smoking. Sparks were flying everywhere. Puffs of multicolored smoke burst from nowhere. And who were the people causing it? The bunnies. As the two girls watched, the bunnies took out candy after candy. Not the pink, sparkly ones from before, but the ones they avoided eating. One bunny ate a black one. The shadow beneath her rose from the ground, forming monster that attacked a nearby house before disappearing. Another ate a red-orange-and-black-swirled candy. She touched a nearby wagon, and it melted into a pool of lava.

Suddenly, the bunnies didn't look so adorable anymore...

Fionna and Cake dashed to the witch bunny and the angel bunny. "BUNNIES! STOP IT!"

The bunnies glared at her. In the blink of an eye, they ate two electric yellow candies. They both waved their hands. Fionna and Cake didn't have time to even breath before a hot bolt of lightning shot at their feet. The blast was so harsh and fiery, they were blasted all the was back to the three stalks and the cake-hull.

"Crum!" Fionna kicked a rock, sending it flying. "Those bunnies come on actin all cute like 'yeah, we're all good and stuff,' but they were playin' me the whole time! YET DEEP IN THEIR CURSED SOULS, THERE MUST LIE SOME WEAKNESS."

"I found my weakness." Cake said, reaching into the hull and taking a bite of raspberry cake.

A light-bulb as big as a car popped over Fionna's head. "THAT'S **IT! **_**THE CAKE!**_"

Cake turned to her sister, red icing smeared on her muzzle. "What about the cake?"

Fionna dashed over to the empty desks they had used earlier, picking up all the test sheets. "Yes!" In a matter-of-fact voice, Fionna turned to her sister. "The exams confirm my memories of the bunnies being allergic to cake."

Cake let out a shrill scream. Fionna jumped, thinking the cake really had been poisonous and was now killing her sister. Cake laughed apologetically. "Sorry. Just the thought scares me."

Fionna jumped on top of the hull. With a slash of her sword, she broke off the stem holding on to it. Cake lifted the hull up, and the two girls took of towards the village.

The bunnies were still wrecking havoc when they arrived. As Cake continued to carry the hull, Fionna jumped on top. "I see one! Get ready to attack!"

"Ready!"

As they approached the witch bunny, Fionna reached inside the hull, took out a full red-velvet cake, and tossed it at the witch bunny. It splattered all over her. The witch bunny froze for a moment. She began to break out in purple boils.

"It's just making them break out!" Cake called up to her sister.

"They're not allergic!" exclaimed Fionna. "Those cheaters lied on the exams!"

Cake gasped. "They really ARE evil."

And as if to prove them wrong, the bunny exploded, sending mulch-colored sprinkles everywhere.

Fionna stared. "I guess they _are_ allergic to cake..."

Cake screamed again. Fionna jumped. "Sorry. It still freaks me out."

The nurse bunny popped a black-and-purple swirled candy into her mouth. Her paws shimmered purple just before she fired a heavy blast at Cake.

"CUPCAKE!" Fionna yelled.

Cake groaned and picked herself off the ground. She then froze. Her feet began to tap.

Fionna watched. "...Cupcake?"

Cake began to move up and down. She began to kick her feet as her tail began to twirl. "I can't stop dancing!"

"WHAT?"

"It must be the candy!" Cake said as she began doing the Roger-Rabbit."I gave me a serious case of boogie-fever!" She began to do the worm. "Go on without me!"

Fionna lifted the hull onto her shoulders, surprised by how light it was. She ran off to get more bunnies.

"You can do it, Fifi!" Cake called, doing some disco-moves. "Just believe in yourself!"

Fionna glanced back at her. "That's pretty cliche."

"Sorry. It's the candy."

Fionna dashed further into the town, and spotted the angel bunny. "HOPE YOU SAVED SOME ROOM FOR DESSERT!" She tossed some cake at the bunny, and it burst into sprinkles. "SWEET DREAMS!" The nurse bunny was gone now. "I'M KILLING YOU WITH CAKE!" The ninja bunny and the butterfly bunny exploded.

"Yeah! Go Fifi!" Cake called as she began doing the sprinkler.

Fionna looked around the village. Her face fell.

The little cupcake bunny was sadly staring at the grass underneath her. The candy she had was piled beside her. She looked up at Fionna with big, apologetic eyes. "Cupcake, there's one left, but I think she's surrendering."

"KILL IT!" Cake called.

"But she's dressed as a little fluffy cupcake. It's frickin' adorable!"

"EVIL NEVER SURRENDERS! KILL IT!"

Fionna looked down at the cupcake bunny. "Sorry..."

The bunny mumbled something.

Fionna tried to reach inside the hull, but the hull seemed to be stuck. In fact, it didn't seem to be refilling. "Cupcake, I think it's clogged with icing or something!"

"I'm on it!" Cake shuffled over to her and the hull. She set her muzzle to the hull and began to suck out the icing and frosting. Fionna felt the hull get heavier. "You're doing it!" Fionna looked down at the bunny, who was pawing through the candies beside her. "Hurry!"

"Almost...got it!" Cake reached inside, took out a big wedding cake, and threw it at the bunny just as the bunny threw a handful of fire at her. The two hit each other and soared into the air, blasting in the sky like fireworks. Cake fell everywhere, and a big chunk fell on the bunny. It broke out in purple boils just before exploding into sprinkles.

"Thank you for saving our town." the mayor of the village, a little daisy flower, smiled as other townspeople crowded behind her. Apparently, the dancing candy was affecting them as well.

"You're welcome." Fionna said as the candy forcing her to dance began to wear off.

"Now, if you will excuse us, we need to remove all this cake from our homes and businesses." a little rose-girl said.

"Not so fast!" They all turned to Cake, who held up a fork. "I'll take it from here, folks." Giggling madly, she dashed towards the village, shoveling cake into her mouth.

Fionna smiled at the surprised townspeople. "She just really likes cake."

STORYLINE ANALYSIS

Fionna accepted a quest to guard the seeds from ever being planted. Whether she thought it through or not, she had agreed to sit by the seeds for an indefinite amount of time. She was saved from this by taking Cake's advice to plant the seeds, but technically, Fionna failed forest sprite's quest.


	40. The Silent Queen

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Xochitl-Xochitl is an orc queen, who is considered a brute to her subjects. She always pinches them for her own pleasure and treats them like slaves, which leads them to become more subservient and filled with fear. She is tall, with slimy green skin, yellow eyes, and a skull-like nose. She is very bulked and muscular, similar to the other orcs. She wears a golden tiara with red, orange, and yellow leaves. She wears a purple dress with red leggings, and wears a lot of pearls, gold, and silver. Her carnivore teeth are both gold.

Gabby-Gabby is the Royal Orc Chief of Staff. Compared to the other orcs, she is small. She is short, with dark green skin. Her ears are pointed and she has a small nose. She wears a dress apparently made out of a burlap sack, and her arms and legs are covered in cloth.

**THE QUIET QUEEN**

_Title Card_

_Fionna sits, unhappily, on her throne as Cake sits next to her, looking pleased._

**(Cake's voice) "Let me tall ya'll about Fifi the Queen."**

Fionna sat in her throne, looking grumpy and displeased. Her sword lay on her leg, unused.

**"See how she looks messed up about somethin'? You're probably thinking, 'Isn't this the girl who sucker-punched the banshee at the bottom of Nolyrc Trench'? And wasn't she all, 'Yeah, I socked the amnesibeast of the Forgettful Forest?" **Cake nodded and waved her hand 'wait.' **"Yeah, I was there. But hold up, because after she took care of the Orc Queen, Xochitl, everything starting going South. Let me tell you about Fifi's reign of royalty."**

* * *

><p>A FEW WEEKS EARLIER...<p>

"THE ORCS HAVE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH, XOCHITL!" Fionna cried from behind the flipped-over wagon she was hiding behind. Usually, orcs were brutal creatures, mean and nasty, but these orcs were perfectly nice, just frightened from their awful queen. "WE'RE GONNA DE-QUEEN YOUR BEHIND!"

"Who do you think you're kidding?!" Xochitl yelled. "These Orcs love me, RIGHT?" She kicked the two orcs she was riding on with her heels. They let out small yelps of pain.

"We don't like you! We hate you!" One of the Orcs cried.

"Pffft, yeah right. You love me."

"You have some serious issues, girl!" Cake called, poking her head over the wagon edge.

"MY ISSUE IS YOUR FACE!" Xochitl raised the ruby scepter she held and waved it. A ball if blue flames shot at them. Cake grabbed her sister around the middle and leaped out of the way just before the wagon went in flames.

Cake took her paws and stretched them over to Xochitl, ready to grab her. However, just as she wrapped her arms around the Orc queen, Xochitl leaped into the air and ball after ball of blue flame at them. Fionna raised her ruby sword at one, sending it firing back at Xochitl. It hit her clean in the gut. As she was groaning in pain, Fionna punched her jaw.

Xochitl tumbled right onto the street. As Fionna and Cake ran after her, she ran to the edge of the town, ten feet away. "You're done, Xochitl!" Fionna called out. "Your reign of fear is over!"

"You may have beaten me this time," cried Xochitl, "But I-" She cried out as a rock his her square in the nose.

Fionna and Cake snickered.

"You'll regret this, Fionna and Cake!" With a turn of both arms, Xochitl was gone in a puff of smoke.

"And stay out, muffin top!" Fionna exclaimed.

They both heard cheerful cries. In a minute, the entire kingdom of the Orcs were piled onto the street, cheering and clapping crazily. Fionna and Cake were lifted up by their hands (kinda uncomfortably, since they had sharp nails) and were carried off.

* * *

><p>In no time at all, the entire cluster of citizens burst through the front doors of the castle. Once inside, they set them down in front of the throne, still chanting "Fionna and Cake! Fionna and Cake! Fionna and Cake!"<p>

A little, tiny Orc, skinny and frail in a burlap dress, ran up to them with a beaming smile. "Great job!" She fell down on her knees before the two girls. "You've freed us! My name's Gabby, Royal Orc Chief in Staff."

"I'm Fionna, and this is Cupcake. It's nice to meet you." She held out a hand to Gabby.

Gabby let out a frightened squeal and fell on her back. "No! PLEASE, NO!"

Fionna, baffled, drew her hand back. "Are you OK?"

"I apologize," Gabby said softly. "I have not known a friendly gesture in...some time...You see, Xochitl enjoyed being a brute to all of us."

_Xochitl let out a snarling laugh, looking down at the bowing Orcs before her. She stood, beaming. "Iiiiiit's PINCHING TIME!" She ran down to the Orcs and began pinching at their skin, causing them to flinch and yelp like frightened animals. "Oh, hush. You know you love it."_

_..._

_The sun was setting over the land, sending an array of colors, red, rose, and purple, across the sky above. Xochitl sighed...and began pinching the Orcs..._

_..._

_The Orcs gathered around the gravestone sadly, tears streaming down their faces. The Orc's wife stood before the grave and began to speak. "We come here today to mourn the loss of our-" She was cut off by Xochitl suddenly pushing her down, jumping on top of her and pinching her all over. She turned to the Orcs once, with a sad expression. "I am so sorry for your loss." She went back to pinching the female Orc._

...

"We need a better queen." Gabby smiled up at Fionna. "Mayhaps you...?"

There was a murmur of agreement through he crowd.

"No thanks, guys." Fionna declined politely. "I'm an adventurer. I don't have time to rule a kingdom."

"Fifi," Cake nudged her sister. "Orc queens get to do a lot of great stuff. You should be the queen!"

Before Fionna could answer, an elderly little Orc spoke up. "If there's no queen to tell me not to start a riot," she said, "I could...start a riot..."

A teenage, rebellious Orc in the back let out a cheer. "YEAH! NO RULES!" She yelled. "START THAT RIOT!"

In the blink of an eye, everything went into chaos.

A pair of Orcs flipped over a table on top of a little one. Many were running around, clanging things together to make noise. A fire went of somewhere in the room. A sound like a roaring dragon erupted. People were laughing, screaming, cheering, and crying.

"Oh, PLEASE, Fionna!" cried Gabby. "We need a queen to rule us!"

Fionna took a deep breath. This was a lot to put on her. What did queens do? Would she ever be able to adventure again? How long would she be queen?

"STOP. THIS. RIOT!"

Everyone froze as if Fionna had pressed the pause button.

"I WILL BE YOUR QUEEN!" Fionna lowered her voice. "To save you all from yourselves."

"Yesssss..." Cake said to herself.

"WE HAVE A NEW QUEEN!" Gabby proclaimed excitedly.

There was a booming cheer. Fionna couldn't help but smile."

"You're tiara, my queen." Fionna felt something being put on her head. She raised a hand. The tiara was a simple circle made out of red, orange, and yellow leaves, like a flame.

"Hey!" Cake's voice cried out. "Fifi's gonna need a king!" She paused. "I'll do it."

There was another cheer.

"What a joyous day!" Gabby cheered.

* * *

><p>"Let me show you to the grounds, your majesties," Gabby said as the two girls walked down the carpeted hallways of the palace.<p>

"Show me what we got, Gabby!" Cake said, jumping up and down in a childish manner. "Show MEEEE!" She tugged on Fionna's arm. "Fifi, I'm so excited!"

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

><p>"This is the Baby Orc Nursery," Gabby proclaimed. They were now standing in a nice, light room with green walls and a tile floor. Bed after tiny bed sat inside, with gurgling, crying, and giggling baby Orcs. "Baby Orcs abandoned by their families are brought here." She frowned. "Xochitl used to use them for pinching."<p>

Fionna winced. Xochitl really was bad.

* * *

><p>"The Royal Game Archive complete with control seats!" Gabby exclaimed. The entire room was a blur of flashing lights, a very big game console, and two places to stand.<p>

Fionna and Cake oohed and aahed at their silver, full-body suits.

* * *

><p>"The Royal Serpent Stables!" The stables were a gigantic cave with red rock and damp, hot air. Serpents, fire-breathing and snarling, slithered around. Fionna imagined being able to ride one of them...<p>

* * *

><p>"The Garden of Moving Fountains!" The garden was filled with circular fountains, sparkling in the sun. The fountains were filled with stone statues of Orcs, all moving, cheering and yelling and dancing.<p>

Cake let out a squeal.

* * *

><p>"And finally the royal bedroom."<p>

The room had golden walls, a red floor, and one gigantic dresser. In the center was a bed with bright gold and red blankets and big, fluffy pillows. Cake looked unsure. "Could you make that two beds?"

"Yes, my king." Gabby turned around. "SILENT DANYELL!"

A stone statue, with no mouth and stone hair, moved to her right, and flipped a giant blue switch. A gigantic knife descended out of nowhere, slicing the bed clean in half. A clad moved down and picked up the bottom half, dropping it on an overhead shelf so that the two halves resembled a bunk bed.

"I call top!" Cake said instantly, and jumped onto the top half.

"And for you, my queen," Gabby held up a book (with odd strength) as thick as Fionna's arm length. "The Royal Rule Book."

Fionna gawked at the book. She was going to have to read that entire thing? "Oh, bumps..."

"Oh, do not fret, your highness." Gabby said quickly. "I shall read it to you."

Cake spoke up at once. "Gabby, have the servants wake me for brunch."

"Yes, your highness."

"And make arrangements for a body wax. Wanna look good tomorrow."

"I'll have the Royal Waxer schedule an appointment."

With that, Cake fell right to sleep. As she did, a rabbit ducked under her head for a pillow and a tiger covered her body.

"Let's hear those rules, Gabby." Fionna told her, laying back. "I'm here to serve and protect the Orc Kingdom."

"'Introduction, colon, the 623 rules were established in moon year fifteen in response to elder Gorflixi's requests for an organized response to bike thefts caused by the chaotic fallout from the Great Fungi War, period. An exploratory rules committee was hastily established by executive order..."

Gabby's voice began to grow fainter. Fionna tried to bring it back, but it was only a whisper now. She felt two large animals (cougars? panthers?) crawled around her, comforting her body.

She fell asleep to the rhythm of the animals' breathing.

* * *

><p>"Awaken, your highnesses!"<p>

Fionna woke up to Gabby's voice in the morning. Above her, Cake groaned and rolled over. "No way, Gab." She pulled the tiger up closer.

Fionna, however, sat up, letting the panthers slip away. "Your majesty," Gabby said, walking up to her, "We have much to do."

Fionna yawned. "Let's do it."

* * *

><p>"This is where you may perform your daily processes, your highness." Gabby said as they approached a door so big it reached the twenty-foot ceiling above. She took hold of the door handle and opened it easily.<p>

Fionna stared inside. "Whoa..."

The bathroom had blue walls and a tiled floor with a chandelier on the ceiling. Two pictures, a boat and a beach, were on either walls. A mirror on the far wall reached from the floor to the ceiling, with a square cut out for a sink. Two Orcs stood on either side.

"Blue," Fionna smiled, "Blue's my favorite color."

Gabby beamed. "Come, your highness. It's time for you to brush your teeth."

"OK." Fionna walked up to the sink and picked up the deep blue toothbrush-

The two Orcs cried out and moved towards her. "Don't, your highness! Let us brush your teeth!"

As they made a grab for the toothbrush, Fionna jumped back. "Ease up, girls. Fionna access only."

The Orcs let out yelps of terror. "She's a rule breaker!" "Like Xochitl!" They held out their arms, as if they expected a pair of cuffs to be slapped on. "Don't pinch us too hard..."

"Spare them, your highness!" Gabby ran in front of them and held out her tiny arms. "Pinch me, instead! SET MY ARMS ON FIRE!"

"Hold up now," Fionna told them. "What rules are you guys talking about?"

"The ROYAL Rules." Gabby said. "In the book of Royal Rules I read to you last night! Rule forty-seven, the queen shall not brush her own teeth. The rules must be upheld..."

Fionna sighed. "Oh...Well, put your arms away. I'm not like Xochitl."

"We may...brush your teeth, your majesty?" Gabby asked softly.

"No," Fionna said, "I'm here to help you, Gab. I don't need you to help me."

Gabby whimpered. "B-but the...rules..."

Fionna scoffed with a smile. "Whatever to the rules, right?"

There was a beat of silence.

"ANARCHY!"

Gabby delivered a punch to one of the Orcs. The other one stood frozen, screaming.

"OK! YOU GUYS CAN BRUSH MY TEETH!" Fionna exclaimed. She was torn. If she didn't let these gals do what they wanted, they'd go into chaos. If she did, they'd be...weird...

The Orcs cheered and took out their toothbrushes.

* * *

><p>"Man, this brunch looks great." Fionna said as she looked at the table before her: chicken, corn, butter-beans, and mashed potatoes with gravy. Her mouth still hurt. The Orcs had used their fingers to open her mouth as wide as possible, and their fingernails had cut the inside and edges of her mouth. She would have to eat carefully.<p>

She picked up her knife and fork and moved them towards the hot chicken-

"I will cut that, your highness." Gabby said next to her.

"Gabby, I order you to let me cut it." Fionna sighed, hoping these rules weren't going to get too out of hand.

"I'm sorry my queen," Gabby said with a nervous smile, "but the Royal Rules state that I must cut it."

Fionna groaned in frustration. "I'm cutting it, Gabby!" She brought the knife to the chicken-

"NO!" In the blink of an eye, Gabby grabbed the knife and fork and cut the chicken to pieces. Then, smiling, she sat back down.

Fionna glared. "Thanks..." She took her fork and pierced a piece of chicken, pulling it towards her mouth.

"A thousand pardons, your majesty," Gabby spoke up, "You're not going to chew that, are you?"

"...Yes...?"

"I'm sorry, your highness, the rules don't allow that."

Fionna sighed. The tooth-brushing, she could let go. Cutting the food, she could let that pass. But this was going to far. "Gabby, let me do this. No one would know."

"I would know."

Gabby reached over and picked up the piece of chicken and popped it into her mouth. After a few moments of chewing, she leaned over to Fionna plate and spat it all out. Fionna grimaced in disgust. "Cupcake, this is nuts."

"Maybe," Cake shrugged as an Orc spat out a mouthful of food onto her plate. "But rules are rules."

"Eat your food, your highness," beamed Gabby. "I chewed it thoroughly and heated it to Orc body temperature: 26 degrees."

"SIRE! THERE'S TROUBLE IN TOWN SQUARE!" An Orc cried as it burst into the room in a panic.

"Trouble!" Fionna exclaimed. "Now I can show y'all what a queen can do!"

Gabby sputtered. "Bu...bu...b..."

"Come on, Caaaaaaaaauuuuuuh..." Fionna stopped as she looked up. Cake was on a message table, with an Orc rubbing her shoulders and back.

"Just go without...meeeeuh..." Cake sighed happily.

Fionna gave her a bizarre look before shrugging. "Alright. I'll go solo." She made a move to get up, but felt something on her ankle. Looking down, she saw Gabby staring up at her with desperate eyes.

"You can't!" she exclaimed. "The Royal R-" Fionna let her Mary Jane fall off, running for it. "NOOOOOO!"

"Sorry, Gab!" Fionna leaped over the table, over Cake's message table, and finally, out the window. She landed on a rooftop and ran across. She stopped and looked down. A ninja-like Orc was standing over a frail one, who was laying down on the ground. "Help! She's taking my cane! I can't move!"

Fionna landed right in between them, sword in hand. They both gasped as Fionna delivered a punch to the Orc's face, sending her flying. Smiling, Fionna picked up the fallen cane and offered it to the elderly Orc. "Here you go."

He was whimpering. "The new queen...Just as cruel as the last!"

Fionna stared, baffled. "What-?"

She heard shuffling. A group of Orcs had gathered behind her, looking sad. "Please, your highness. Do not slay the old man. Take us instead."

"What the freak?" Fionna span around, accidentally waving her sword. "I wasn't gonna-"

They all cowered from her.

"Please, your majesty," the old Orc said, "Keep the cane."

Fionna sighed. Silent Danyell had been sent to fetch her, and she was now waiting. Fionna climbed onto her back sadly.

_"I don't mean y'all any harm,_

_but y'all just keep showin' me your Orc arms_

_When I became queen, I didn't think that it would be so drear_

_But I'll accept my boring fate and shed this tear_

_'Cause I can't seem to cure you of your groundless fears."_

* * *

><p>Gabby sat in a feral position on the floor. It was dark, and in her hands, she clutched Fionna's Mary Jane. She was whimpering. "No more pinching...no more pinching..."<p>

The door opened, and she shrieked.

"Gabby, don't be afraid," sighed Fionna, "I'll stick to the rules now."

Gabby stood, trembling, "Your highness, I'm sorry, haven't you heard? Xochitl is returning with an evil army! She's going to reclaim the throne!"

Fionna jumped. "Really?"

"Yes! It's awful!" cried Gabby.

Fionna paused. If Xochitl came back... "Yeah, awful..."

"Come look!" Gabby ran over to the nearby window, which had a window set up in front of it. Fionna hopped off Silent Danyell and looked through the telescope. "Do you see?"

She could see the very edge of the kingdom. She could also see little dots appearing on the horizon, but they were too small to make out. Clicking a little button, Fionna looked again. An army of eye giants were marching towards the kingdom. Clicking the button once more, Fionna could see a cackling Xochitl riding the one in front.

Gabby fainted and fell to the floor.

"Stay fainted, Gabby," Fionna said. "I'm about to go break some rules."

* * *

><p>Fionna ran down the yellow-tiled hallway, panting softly and calling, "Cupcake! Cupcake! Where you at?"<p>

Fionna stopped when she noticed Silent Danyell standing across the hall from one particularly small door. "Cupcake?"

"I'm in here!"

She opened the small door, and a waft of steam let out. Cake was sitting at the far wall (which was five feet away) on a bench, her eyes closed, a towel wrapped around her body. A little barrel of hot water sat in the middle, filled with hot coals, wafting out steam every second. "You gotta try this, Fifi. The Royal Sauna. Like you're wrapped in a big, hot cloud."

"Xochitl's back with an army of eye giants," Fionna exclaimed, "We gotta go bust them up!"

"But everyone's gonna go bonkers if they think you've left your queen station. You remember how it got all crazy." She patted the bench next to her. "Just hide in here with me until everything bowls over."

"Xochitl can't regain the throne, Cupcake!"

Cake sighed and opened her eyes to look at her sister. "Alrighty, then. How do we do this?"

Fionna turned around to look at Silent Danyell.

* * *

><p>"What if they figure it out?" Cake asked her sister as the two of them darted away from the castle.<p>

"I think we're good."

* * *

><p>"If I'm honest, your highness, when I am scared, I feel most safe in your lap." Gabby sniffed.<p>

Silent Danyell, with a Fionna-mask on and the tiara on her head, said absolutely nothing.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake ran to the top of the hill. Down below, the army of eye giants and an army of Orcs stood face-to-face. Xochitl glared them down from the leading eye giant. "LINE UP FOR YOUR PINCHINGS!"<p>

The Orcs whimpered and trembled.

Fionna and Cake began to run. While they did, Fionna turned to Cake. "The Orcs can't see me being unqueenly! I need a disguise!"

"Hop in my mouth!"

Fionna did so. It felt kinda gross, wet and...UGH...but only a moment later, Cake had morphed herself into a body suit of fur. The only visible part of her was her face.

"Who among you has the courage to face Xochitl?" Xochitl cried down to the Orcs.

No one said anything.

Fionna/Cake ran through the crowd, the Orcs getting out of her/their way quickly. When she/they reached the front of the crowd, she/they cried out, "I DO! YOUR REIGN OF TERROR WILL NOT CONTINUE!"

"One person has the courage to face me?" Xochitl smirked. "I salute you, foolish warrior."

Fionna/Cake jumped up on their/her feet. She/they balled her hand into a fist, and socked the eye giant in its one eye. A waterfall of tears poured out, and it fell to the ground. Xochitl jumped off just in time. Fionna/Cake kicked the eye of another, and the eyes of two more. Then, Fionna/Cake used her/their stretchy-powers to make tons of arms other than her/their normal two. They all hit the eye giants in their eyes. One by one, they all fell to the ground.

Xochitl let out a cry of anger. "HOW IN AAA?!"

"No one uses eye giants without glasses, girl," Fionna/Cake smirked.

Xochitl snarled. "I had a limited budget!" She vanished in a puff of smoke.

She reappeared a moment later in the air behind them. "TAKE THIS!" She flung a ball of blue flames at them. Fionna/Cake whipped our her/their ruby sword and deflected it, sending it into a nearby rock.

Right when Xochitl was about to attack again, she froze. "Wait. Do I know you?"

"NO!" Fionna/Cake said quickly.

Xochitl threw ball after ball of blue flames at them/her, over and over. Fionna/Cake hit one with her/their sword once again. Xochitl dodged it with a quick reflex. She disappeared in smoke, and then reappeared a moment later on the ground between two eye giants. She was cackling like a witch-when a ball of flame hit her square in the chest. She fell to the ground five feet away, her scepter falling from her hand.

Fionna/Cake stepped over and picked up the scepter. Fionna/Cake then popped it into her/their mouth and swallowed.

There was an exploding round of cheers from the Orcs. In a moment, they were all around the two girls/girl, lifting them/her up into the air, just like before.

Fionna dropped her voice to a whisper. "Hey, Cupcake, do you think they'd be cool with changing a few rules if I show them who I really am?"

Something big, scratchy, and wet wiped all over her face. Fionna sputtered in disgust, her face wet with saliva. Cake had licked her entire face. "That's not an answer."

"Ri row." Cake snickered, the sound muffled. Fionna couldn't help but smile.

They were taken straight to the castle, and Fionna felt a case of deja vu coming. They were dropped onto their/her feet. Gabby was on her knees before the throne. "Oh, great queen! With the help of a brave warrior, you have thwarted the eviL Xoxchitl!"

Silent Danyell, the Fionna-mask still on her face, said nothing. A maid standing next to her took Silent Danyell's arm in her hands and raised it.

There was an eruption of cheer. Fionna looked at the group of Orcs around her, then at Silent Danyell. She smirked. "Cupcake, let's get out of here."

"Row ray."

They walked through the front doors easily. Once they were out of earshot, Fionna said, "Looks like they got the queen they wanted, girl."

"Yap."

"And we're going home. High-five ourselves, Cupcake." Fionna/Cake raised one hand, then slapped it with the other.

"Hey, Cupcake?" Fionna asked as the sun began to set in the distance.

"Yeag?"

"Why do your insides smell like strawberries?"

"A with putt a curth un me."

"Huh. Cool."

THE END

**"And so endeth the horrible time of Queen Fionna." **Cake took a sip of tea. **"As for the Orcs' new queen, she ruled a great number of years with prosperity and happiness. As for Fifi and I, we went home. As for the story, it ended."**

Fionna appeared in the doorway, frowning. "Cupcake, who are you talking to?"

"No one...?"

(The final two lines were suggested by a Guest :)))


	41. The Real You

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

THE REAL YOU

_Title Card_

_Fionna closes her eyes, letting herself sink through the never-ending stars that surround her._

Fionna and Cake whistled in a duet as they walked to the Candy Kingdom, holding up the pink tray above their heads. Cake's furry arms began to wiggle with the beat of their whistling sound, causing the pink tray to wobble. Fionna hastily held onto it stronger. "Careful, Cupcake! You'll wreck my gift for Prince Gumball!"

"Oh, sorry," Cake stopped her wiggling. She then glanced up at the 'gift' and raised a furry eyebrow at Fionna. "What's it supposed to be, anyway?"

"It's a scale model of the Candy Kingdom," Fionna waved one hand (carefully) at the big mountain of pink on the tray. "Made of chewed-up gum!" She blew out a pink bubble from her mouth.

"So..." Cake set the tray on her head and turned to face her sister, walking backwards, "...you're giving Prince Gumball you're already-chewed gum?"

"Yeah-huh." Fionna nodded, then frowned. "...It...sounded a lot less weird when I was making it...But I wanted to give him _something. _To celebrate his big science thing."

"You mean his...SUPERB-SCIENCE-PICNIC?"

She said it just as they came to the area. A wooden stage stood in the center of the picnic area, and with it, a gigantic board that read 'SCIENCE IS SUPERB!' Three large tables, covered in white and red checkered blankets, stood over to the side of the stage. Another giant table stood to the opposite side, covered in soda bottles, bags of chips, hamburger and hotdog buns, salad, salad dressing, silverware and plates, potato and egg salad, and fruit.

Fionna worriedly glanced up at her 'gift', and looked down at Cake. "Is it science-y enough for him?"

"He'll _love _it!" Cake assured her. She then snickered softly. "And then he'll love YOU."

Before Fionna could retort, Cake pointed up at the stage. "Hey, there's Gumball!"

Prince Gumball was on the stage, next to the bowl of an unlit campfire. He took his armful of wood and dumped it in. He was dressed more simply today, for his usual attire. Today, he wore a red T-shirt with a black Monochromicorn wrapping all the way around it. He also sported cargo shorts and grey sneakers. The only thing left of his usual attire was the little crown he always wore. Fionna was already blushing.

She was snapped out of her daze by a slap on the arm by Cake. "Hide it behind your back, girl!"

Prince Gumball, who had just given Flamina a piece of driftwood for payment, caught sight of them and set Flamina to the campfire, lighting it instantly. "Hey, girls!" He hopped off of the stage, landing on his feet. He dusted off his hands. "Just getting the campfire started for tonight's picnic." he sighed in awe. "Just imagine...all of Aaa's greatest minds freely exchanging new groundbreaking ideas...over _hot dogs!"_

"Yeah, awesome," Fionna nodded, her legs shaking nervously.

Prince Gumball could see something large and pink behind Fionna's back. "What's that you got there, Fionna?"

"Oh, I-uh, made you something," Fionna said, a weird feeling in her stomach. Cake was bouncing with anticipation.

"Really?" Prince Gumball smiled, "May I spy it?"

"Yes," Fionna nodded, but still frowning a bit in anticipation, "But you have to close your eyes." Prince Gumball did so instantly. Fionna whipped the tray from behind her back. "Surpri-"

SPLAT

The mound of chewed-up gum landed on the grass with a squishy thud. It fell into large chunks of gooey pink mush, and any shape that the chunks once held were gone.

Fionna and Cake stared, eyes wide, mouths open in horror.

"Can I open them now?" Prince Gumball asked hopefully.

"NO! KEEP THEM CLOSED FOR ELEVEN MORE HOURS!" Fionna took an entire pack of bubblegum out of her backpack and began to chew vigorously.

"I'm going to open my eyes now," Prince Gumball cracked his eyelids apart and gasped loudly.

Fionna stopped mid-way of spitting a large mass of dripping gum onto the tray.

"Fionna! This is great!" Prince Gumball ripped the tray from Fionna's hands. The blonde adventurer and feline cat stared. "A pink tray! I love pink!" Prince Gumball gave Fionna a dazzling smile, "I'll use it to hold the hot dogs at the picnic! Thanks, Fionna!"

Fionna slapped her cheeks in joyous shock.

"Prince Gumball! Prince Gumball!" Chelsea the malt ball ran up to the pink royal, flailing her arms.

Peppermint Maid followed her, glaring. "You better say nothin', you."

Prince Gumball knelt down next to them both. "What is it, Chelsea?"

"Alright, so _I _called 'hot-dog maker' for the picnic." Frowning, Chelsea jabbed her finger at Peppermint Maid. "But Peppermint Maid won't give me the stick!"

"Fine-fine!" Peppermint Maid huffed. She held up a silver roasting fork. "You can have it." Suddenly, she darted in the opposite direction madly, holding the roasting fork high above her head. "WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"

_"NO!" _Chelsea cried out, and darted after the retreating maid.

"Girls!" Prince Gumball called after them with confusion and worry in his voice. "If you girls aren't watching the campfire, then who's watching the-CAMPFIRE?!" He cried out as he looked up at the bowl that held the campfire. It had toppled over on its side, sending fiery red wood onto the wooden stage, with little flames already blackening the stage in a beach-ball sized circle.

Fionna gasped, and nearly choked on her chewing gum. Spitting it out, she unsheathed her ruby sword and took of towards the stage. She stuck her sword under the tipped edge of the bowl and lifted it up, setting it on its feet once more. Now for the fire on the stage. Turning around, she saw pitchers of juice and tea for the picnic behind her. She took her sword and stabbed a pitcher of juice, bringing it down onto the fire. It busted in half, extinguishing all the fire on the wooden stage.

"Fionna! That was _amazing!_" Prince Gumball ran up to his friend, smiling widely.

"Thanks, Prince," Fionna panted, wiping some sweat from her eyebrow. "I'm always happy to help."

"I see." Prince Gumball began rubbing all over Fionna's head. Over her forehead, across her cheeks, on the fabric of her hat. She blushed. "Your heroic brain is scientifically fascinating." He stopped rubbing and squished Fionna's cheeks together. "Many great minds are going to be speaking at my picnic. You should talk about something as well!" Prince Gumball's bright purple eyes sparkled all over. "You'll do that for me, right?"

Fionna's face was cherry red. "Of course! I'll do anything for you!"

"Thanks, Fionna." Prince Gumball looked past Fionna and sighed at the fighting Chelsea and Peppermint Maid. "I need to deal witht this." Prince Gumball walked past Fionna, waving. "See you tonight!"

"B-bye Prince Gumball." Fionna sighed, rubbing her arm bashfully. Suddenly, her face drained of all color and her knees bent together. "Wait a se-GIVE A SPEECH?" Fionna began to hyperventilate deeply.

"Fifi. Just breath into me." Cake said, now molded into the shape of a paper bag. She puffed herself in and out.

Fionna glared.

"Easy, girl." Cake stood, molding into her normal form. "You're just giving a speech to a bunch of nerdies."

"I can't give a speech to smart people!" Fionna insisted. "I'm filled to the brim with stupidity! I act on heroic instinct!"

"Then we'll just buy some brains," Cake smirked, "from the place where knowledge can be bought cheap."

Fionna squinted her eyes. "The pawn shop?"

"No, the bookstore," Cake frowned.

"The Bookstore of Eternal Doom?"

Cake frowned deeper. "No. The normal bookstore."

Fionna stared.

"We go to normal places, Fifi."

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake stood in front of the endless shelves stacked full of books. Prices were written on stickers stuck to their spines. Some were thick, some were thin, some were big, and some were so small the words looked like braille. The bookstore was three stories high. The books were set in different sections, for different languages and genres. It was the size of the Candy Palace, maybe just a bit smaller. The walls were covered in green wallpaper, the floors were made of oak, and the entire ceiling above was made of glass.<p>

Cake huffed as she put a denim-bound book back into its shelf. "Fifi, let's get out of here. This place is too nerdy for me.

"But I have to cram as much knowledge into my head as possible," Fionna insisted, holding up a forest green book to her eyes.

"Alright, alright," Cake sighed. "I'll just pick out some books about trees." She began taking out random books from the shelves.

"And I'll pick out some books about bees." Fionna nodded, and she too began to pull of different books.

There was a long moment of silence. At the same time, Fionna and Cake set two books on the table behind them. Cake turned a page in her book. Fionna made a 'hmm' sound.

Fionna played all of these sounds in her head again before breaking out in a smile. She began making 'hmm' sounds over and over in a rhythm. She then began stacking book after book onto the table, making them give off 'thumps' sound every time.

Cake smirked in mirth. "What are you doing, girl?"

Fionna didn't answer. She just continued humming and stacking up books. Cake glanced down at her book, smirked wider, and began flipping pages. She then glanced behind her and saw a rolling ladder against the shelf. She moved it back and forth with her tail, beaming at the satisfying 'creak-ak-creak-ak' sound.

With all of these sounds combined, Fionna and Cake had their only little tune going. Just as Fionna began to stomp her right foot, Tortoise Prince appeared beside them both with a stern look.

"That is completely nauseating to my customers," he said in his ocean-deep voice that sounded like a gong. "I'm going to have to ask you girls to leave." He pushed them by their backs to the exit.

"But we were just enthusiastic about learning!" Fionna insisted.

* * *

><p>"OK, so books aren't going to work," Fionna stated as she and Cake walked through the grass. Rocks were everywhere, pebbles and boulders, and Fionna amused herself by stepping from rock to rock, stone to stone. "Maybe we could get a smartie to explain things to me."<p>

"Yeah, cramming our heads with books wasn't a good idea," Cake agreed. "But if things are explained for you, you can just sound smart." Cake then frowned. "But where do you go to do that?"

Fionna took a deep breath. "Cupcake...we're going to high school."

They came to a gigantic mushroom half the size of Fionna's body. The top was red with yellow spots, and the stem was yellow-white. A little door was embedded in the stem and windows were scattered across the top. A baseball-sized window was opened, and Fionna peeked inside. A teacher-slug stood on a wooden block next to a sticky-note chalkboard. Other slugs stood behind long blocks of wood for desks.

"And the question remains: Who would win in a war between Oskar Schindler and Pikachu?" The teacher paused. "It's Spider King, it's _always _Spider King."

Fionna smirked and turned to Cake. "Awesome. These slugs are total turbo-nerdies." Fionna took out a black marker from her backpack and drew a little face on her finger. Cake suddenly took the marker and drew a rather silly face on her paw, giggling.

Fionna gave Cake a confused look. "Cupcake. Just shrink down."

Cake froze, a smile still on her face. "Oh yeah." Cake shrunk her body down to slug-size, but kept her paw normal (though it looked huge on her tiny body now.) That hadn't exactly been what Fionna meant, but she just shrugged. Cake quietly stepped inside the mushroom, and Fionna stuck her hand in.

"And when I meet the Spider King, he will take me on as his queen," the Teacher Slug went on, "And we shall spread fear throughout the land."

"Hey, Teach!" said Fionna's, wagging her finger inside the mushroom-school. "Can we talk about more interesting, you know, stuff?"

"'More interesting stuff?'" the Teacher Slug looked absolutely confused. Then she smiled. "I could." She then snarled, "IF THIS WEREN'T A CLASS ON BORINGISM!"

"...Oh."

"Are you even in this class, miss...?" the Teacher Slug left the question in the air for her to finish.

"Uh...Sluggy." Fionna said, "Sluggy...McSlimey."

"'McSlimey.' We'll just see about that." the Teacher Slug began to flip madly through her book before stopping. "Oh, here you are: _S. McSlimey_."

"Yes, you are indeed registered," the Teacher Slug went on. She then yelled viciously, "AND YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN UP FOR A _SINGLE CLASS!_"

The other student-slugs in the room gave a collective gasp.

'Sluggy' was frozen. "...Aw croops."

"NO SLUG EVER MISSES CLASS!" a female slug cried.

"TRAUNCY HURTS US ALL!" another slug agreed. She picked up a tiny pebble and threw it at 'Sluggy.'

"Hey!" 'Sluggy' cried. It didn't really hurt whatsoever, Fionna had to admit, but she needed to be smart! She felt a little prick of pain. A slug had thrown a splinter of wood at her. 'Sluggy' turned left to right. "Please! Where's your compassion?"

There was a silence throughout the mushroom.

"LET'S KILL HER!"

'Sluggy' screamed.

Two snails charged at her with a large thing of salt. 'Sluggy' poked them both in the gut, causing them to fall over in pain. Another snail snarled and lunged at Cake's paw. Cake flicked it in the face. Suddenly, at least eleven slugs leaped onto Fionna's hand, snarling. Fionna flinched ever-so-slightly. Her hand felt to slimey and gooey. She sighed. This was a bad plan. Fionna shook her hand, and the slugs went flying. "Cupcake, let's go!"

A final snail jabbed a splinter into her skin. Fionna flinched and tried to take out her hand, but the slugs clung onto it, holding her down. Cake saw the approaching, splinter-weiling slugs and punched them all away. She grabbed Fionna's hand and jumped out of the mushroom. "Saved you!"

"And stay out of school, ya delinquents!" the Teacher Slug yelled after them.

* * *

><p>Fionna sighed as she walked away from the mushroom. "That's it. I'm gonna bomb hardcore at this picnic."<p>

"Let ME think on it." Cake insisted. For a moment, Cake thought very hard, rubbing her forehead and chin. Then she gasped. "Let's just do this with some magics!" She wiggled her paws.

"That's the easy way out," huffed Fionna.

"Exactly! It's the easy way!" insisted Cake.

"Oh...Oh yeah!" Fionna beamed in realization. "Let's go visit Love Dove!"

* * *

><p>"Magic, you say?" Love Dove inquired behind the counter of her stand.<p>

"Yeha, LD, I need magic!" insisted Fionna. "Some mind-enhancing magic!"

_"Oh, yes,"_ said Love Dove.

_"The quest that you are on_

_Requires the pencil of Nerdekon."_

Love Dove held up a pencil from behind the counter. It looked so...ordinary. Unscratched and perfect, but no different from any other pencil. Still, Fionna was amazed.

"So I just use that one little pencil," Fionna said, "And I'll be a turbo nerdie?" Fionna's eyes sparkled, "And Prince Gumball will totally love it. What do you want for it?"

_"Lately I have been feeling drained_

_I only wish to be entertained."_

Fionna beamed. So easy! "You got it, Love Dove!" She held up her still-faced finger and shook it side to side, up and down, and in circles, humming a little tune all the while.

Love Dove was very easily entertained. She let out a series of giggles. "Well done! Well done! The pencil you have one!"

"Nice one, girl," Cake smiled.

Love Dove handed Fionna the pencil. "Here, here, just put it behind your ear."

Fionna pulled her hat back enough so that her ear was free. She slipped the pencil behind it.

உலகின்புத்திசாலியானமனிதன்மனிதபெண்คนที่ฉลาดที่สุดในโลกคือมนุษย์ผู้หญิงНайрозумніший чоловік у світі є людський дівчину

"Everything small is just a small version of something big!" Fionna exclaimed in a totally different voice.

Cake gawked. "...WHAT?"

"I know how to win over the prince!" Fionna exclaimed.

Cake smirked in confusion. "More gum?"

"No! That gum was as silly as my old perception of reality! But you may be onto something. I could show Prince Gumball gum in which no one has ever seen!"

Cake's tail fluffed in excitement. "How will you do that?"

"With a LIST!"

_LIST TIME_

* * *

><p>The tables and chairs all around the stage were packed full of scientists, professors, and doctors. All of their eyes were to the stage, watching the present case. All were politely quiet. The only sound came from the talking person on the stage.<p>

There was a round of applause. Prince Gumball stepped onto the stage in a futuristic, white-and-blue jumpsuit, clapping his hands together. "Thank you, Professor Doom, for your fascinating research on the future...of death."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Fionna clapped her hands together excitedly. Her legs were crossed, which was new for her, and Cake stood next to her at their table. "What charming, quaint notions!"

Professor Doom glared.

"Now for a special presentation by one of Aaa's greatest heroines!" Prince Gumball announced excitedly. "Fionna the Human!"

Fionna appeared on the stage the second Prince Gumball left. Cake pushed a tarp-covered table on the stage behind her sister. "Ladies and gentlemen! And prince!" Fionna announced, "I am here today to talk to you about...dimensional gum!" She ripped off the tarp, revealing three glass bowls full of gumballs. One was filled with normal gumballs, one had unnaturally pink ones, and one was filled with black ones and looked like they were trembling.

"But not only am I going to talk to you about chewing gum," Fionna beamed, "I am going to amaze you with knowledge!"

Prince Gumball stared at Fionna. She seemed very different than usual, so serious and...weird.

"These balls are gum were made by myself," Fionna went on, "It took me hours to make them the way they are now. Now, watch." Fionna picked up normal gumball and popped it into her mouth. After a minute of chewing, she blew out a bubble. A completely whacked-up bubble. The bubble came out like a piece of round paper, completely flat with a hardly noticeable shadow. The crowd's eyes widened. Fionna took out the gum from her mouth, saving the bubble. "This gum is two-dimensional and casts a one-dimensional shadow."

Fionna set down that piece of gum and picked up another gumball from a different bowl, chewing. Again, she blew out a bubble, but this one looked completely normal, just a little sphere. She took the gum from her mouth once again. "This gum is three-dimensional and casts a two-dimensional shadow."

Fionna picked up a trembling, black gumball and chewed. She chewed cautiously for some reason, slowly and paced. She then blew out a bubble.

This bubble didn't even look like a bubble. It looked like a bundle of shapes, moving and shifting, appearing and disappearing. A black color came from the bundle. The bundle of shapes looked _unearthly. _They moved in such a way that they looked like some kind of unknown animation of a movie, yet looked so realistic. The bundle of shapes floated away from Fionna's mouth just by itself.

Cake felt her tail frizz, and frowned. Something bad was about to happen...

"This gum is four-dimensional and casts a three-dimensional shadow!" Fionna began to laugh hysterically. "IT IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION! BEYOND _SPACE! __**BEYOND TIME!**_"

A mixture of sounds came from the crowd. Gasps, cheers, applauds, murmurings, and exclamations. Prince Gumball was one of the ones who gasps. He suddenly froze, his forehead scrunched up. "Wait a second..." after a moment of thinking, his eyebrows went up to his hairline, and he looked up at Fionna, "But Fionna, that would mean you created-!"

"Yes, Prince! I have created..._**A BLACK HOLE!**_"

Suddenly, the bundle of shapes went crazy. Its shifting and moving became ten times faster, and suddenly, air was being pulled into it, like a window in a jet-plane. The tarp on the stage that read 'SCIENCE IS SUPERB!' was ripped from the wall, and it was sucked into the black hole, deep into nothingness. Cake felt her tail explode in frizziness. "Augh!"

Cake felt her weight being pulled. Just before she could be pulled into the black hole, she grabbed onto a cotton-candy tree for dear life. She then heard the screaming crowds, and looked up to see that they were slowly being sucked into the black hole, with nothing to grab onto but each other. Cake stretched her other arm to another cotton-candy tree ten feet across from her, and made herself into a tarp-like shape, keeping the crowd from being sucked into the black hole.

Cake looked back onto the stage, where Fionna still stood, cackling madly. The second she began to lift into the air, Cake's tail wrapped around her middle, pulling her into the crowd.

"FIONNA! DO SOMETHING!" Prince Gumball cried, ducking just as a plate of brownies nearly hit his head before being sucked into the black hole.

Fionna seemed perfectly calm. She reached over into her backpack. "I'm sure there's solution on my numbered..." she trailed off as the piece of paper was pulled out of her hands, into the black hole. "...list. Don't worry, I have everything under control."

"UNDER CONTROL?" Prince Gumball cried, "THAT THING IS DESTROYING THE STAGE! _MY GUESTS ARE TERRIFIED!"_

_"YES! THEIR BRAINS ARE RELEASING ADRENALINE! __**DOPAMINE! **__**EVEN DIMETUYLTRYPTAMINE FROM THE PINEAL GLAND!" **_As she went on, every source of food that the picnic had flew through the air, deep into the black hole's endless abyss. "THANATOPHOBIA AND THIS N.D.E, IS GIVING US ALL EUPHORIC ALTERED AWARENESS! _DON'T YOU SEE, PRINCE?!" _Prince Gumball gasped as Fionna grabbed his shirt collar. "WE WERE ALL _**BORN TO DIE!**_"

Prince Gumball stared at Fionna, his face pale and his eyes the size of saucers. _**"YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!"**_

Fionna shook her head. "No, of course not! I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE BEST CONFERENCE EVER!"

"FIONNA, YOU'VE GONE INSANE!"

"What?" Fionna looked offended. "No! I'm the smartest gal in Aaa thanks to this pencil." she tapped the pencil tucked behind her ear.

"The pencil?" Prince Gumball stared at the orange piece of wood. "Fionna! Get rid of that thing! You're not yourself!"

"B-but..." Fionna stared at Prince Gumball, her face red from both shouting and surprise.

"PLEASE, FIONNA! I NEED THE REAL YOU!" Prince Gumball ripped the pencil from Fionna's ear.

شكرا جزيلا الأمير غومبالஅவள்இப்போதுఅత్యంత స్టుపిడ్ అమ్మాయిโลก

For a second, Fionna's pupils went to the size of quarters, and then she shook her head dizzily. She looked around her and jumped. "What's going on?" she caught sight of the black hole. "WHOA! WHAT IS THAT?"

"You made it, Fionna! With one of these!" Prince Gumball held up the glass bowl of black gumballs.

Fionna took the bowl and nodded. "IF I MADE IT WITH THESE, I'LL KILL IT WITH THESE!" She jumped over Cake's tarped body, but Cake grabbed her with her tail once more.

"Be careful!" Prince Gumball cried. He heard an odd rattling sound behind him. All of the forks, knives, and roasting forks from the tables began to fly towards them. Prince Gumball ducked. "Fionna! Look out!"

Fionna span around just in time. She dodged fork after fork, knife after knife. She caught sight of a knife hurtling towards her. With no time to move. She stuck out the glass bowl in front of her. The knife pierced the glass, shattering it to pieces. Fionna looked down. The knife had pierced a number of gumballs, and was now a bundle of black moving shapes, just like the black hole. She picked it up carefully as the rest of the gumballs disappeared into the black hole. She began to move, but felt a tug on her waist. "Cupcake! Let me go!"

"Don't do anything stupid, Fifi!" Cake told her in a sisterly manner.

"I can't help it!" Fionna unwound herself from Cake's arm, clutching onto her paw. "I'm all about stupid!" With that, Fionna let go.

Her body tumbled toward the black hole, and in the blink of an eye, Fionna was no more.

_**"FIONNA!"**_ Prince Gumball and Cake cried.

_**BLOOOOOM!**_

The black hole exploded with a deafening pop. Fionna's body hurtled through the air, and with it, every single thing the black hole had eaten up. Just as Fionna's body was tossed into the crowd. Cake wrapped herself in a protective bubble around everyone. She felt the items of the black hole jabbing and pricking her skin and fur. She rolled forward, taking the crowd to safety.

Cake unrolled on the ground, standing underneath the crowd like a picnic blanket. Everyone was panting, or fallen over, or just shaking. Fionna heard a groaning at her feet, and looked down to see a fallen Prince Gumball. She wrapped his arm around her shoulders, helping him up. He groaned in dizziness and anguish. "My picnic was a total disaster."

Fionna felt a pang of guilt in her gut. Before she could say any comforting words, the crowd began to cheer. Whoops, cries, and applause rung out in the air. Fionna and Prince Gumball stared at the cheering crowd before beaming at each other. Something moved above their heads, and Prince Gumball looked up to see Fionna's list. He read it out loud.

_"1. Make gum-bubble._

_2. Cause black hole._

_3. Prince Gumball takes off pencil._

_4. Save the day._

_5. Win the heart of the prince? _You knew all of this would happen?" Prince Gumball smirked down at Fionna. "That's pretty jacked up, Fionna."

"I wrote that when I was insane with nerdiness," Fionna assured him.

With a little chuckle, Prince Gumball bent down and kissed Fionna on the cheek. Fionna felt her face catch fire. Every part of her body was tomato-red. She stood there, drooling, her eyes watery, as she cried out, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

TRIVIA

Prince Gumball's shirt has a Monochromicorn on it.

It took Fionna approximately eleven hours to make the gum model.

Flamina appears once more in the episode.


	42. Protectors of the Sun

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**BEEMO**—it isn't necessarily gender-swapped. I mean, can you really tell if it's a boy or a girl?

Snoozey Sami-a toad creature and the final boss of _Protectors of the Sun. _Her main attack is capturing prey with her tongue, chewing them, and spitting them up in pieces. She has 8-bit animation, with yellow-spotted green skin and bulging yellow eyes.

Whirly Wasp-the first enemy in _Protectors of the Sun. _She is an 8-bit wasp with deep orange skin and silver black. She can use her stingers to shoot her prey.

Gummy Bunny-the second enemy in _Protectors of the Sun. _She is an 8-bit rabbit with grey fur made of a gummy substance that she can use to trap her prey.

**PROTECTORS OF THE SUN**

_Title Card_

_PROTECTORS OF SUNSHINE *PRESS START*_

LEVEL-1

"Time to protect the sun!" cried Fionna.

_The 8-bit female heroine, with blond hair and a blue body suit, began to move into the dark tunnel._

"Yeah, she knows how to get things started!" put in Cake.

"Spike pit number one." Fionna said aloud. She and Cake were sitting together on the sofa, Fionna in her red wool pajamas. Fionna had a crumb-covered, blue-green-and-pink quilt thrown over her legs, which Cake sat on top of. A few bottles of soda and an empty bag of chips were squished into the soda next to Fionna. A video game joystick and button were in Fionna's hands. "Easy peasy, lemon squeezy."

_The 8-bit heroine jumped across the spike-filled pit in a single leap._

"You wonder why they evern put it there."

"Probably a computle gleech."

Fionna laughed.

"Now comes some real trouble," Cake said, shifting on the blanket, "It's Whirly Wasp! She'll get that sun, Fifi."

Fionna scoffed. "Puh-lease."

_The heroine approached the large, spiky wasp buzzing before her. In a single jump-and-kick, the wasp vanished, leaving nothing but __**500 **__in her place._

"I had my eyes closed on that one," Fionna said truthfully. Whirly Wasp was, very obviously, the easiest 'boss' in the game. Cake chuckled.

_The heroine came to two more spike-pits. She jumped over them and touched the rings in the air above, making them disappear with little blinks. _

"Go back, Fifi, you missed one," Cake told her.

"I'm not in it for any cash. I'm in it to destroy the enemies of the sun," said Fionna. On the screen, a big splotch of slime dripped down from the ceiling, and from it formed a 'giant' shape. "Like this goob right here."

"Gummy Bunny!"

"Gummy Bunny, don't you ever learn? I've always got Hammy."

_A silvery gold hammer appeared in the heroine's hands. Hitting it on the ground over and over, the heroine walked up to Gummy Bunny. With a blink, it disappeared, leaving behind __**850.**_

"You are hot tonight, girl," Cake said as she lightly slapped Fionna's arm. She then got excited and started pulling on her sleeve. "Can you do it tonight? Can you defeat Snoozey Sami?"

"Oh, I surely can."

"Remember to use the combo move!" Cake giggled as her tail began to flick with excitement.

_After two more lavapits, the heroine came to a large toad with bulging yellow eyes and a slimey green body._

Fionna took a deep breath. Her heart was already beginning to beat harder. "OK, here goes..."

She and Cake began to talk at the same time.

_"Down_

_Up_

_Right right_

_Left left_

_Up_

_Jump _

_Up_

_Down_

_Right."_

"C'mon, Fifi girl, faster!" Cake urged her human sister, who was fighting to keep her sweaty grip on the joystick. "Down, left-"

_Snoozey Sami's tongue shot out and touched the heroine. The heroine disappeared into the toad's mouth, and a few seconds later, Snoozey Sami spat her back out in a spray of digital pixels._

_**GAME OVER**_

Fionna threw her head back with a groan. "Every time! She gets me _every time!_" with a huff, Fionna threw the joystick at the innocent game console. "Beema, this game is the worst." Fionna turned to Cake. "If we were really inside that game, we would pound Snoozey Sami. _Greezily."_

"Oh, no, no, no!" Beema shook her screen frantically, its joystick rattling. "It's far too dangerous!"

Fionna and Cake gasped. Cake scooted closer to the video game consol. "Beema, can be get into the game for realsies?"

"Of course, Cake," the video game console said. It flipped open a square of material around its main button, revealing a yellow-and-black-striped switch. "If I flip this switch-"

Cake's paw dove for the switch. She flipped it over and over, but nothing happened. Beema, with an annoyed look on its screen, pushed her paw away. "If _**I **_flip this switch, you would both be taken into my database, where you will be broken down into pixels until you reached the game. But it is far too dangerous."

Fionna and Cake were so surprised, excited, and in awe, that they had begun to shiver all over, fidgeting on the sofa. "Oh man, oh man, oh man!" Fionna cried over and over. "Beema, you have to let us in that game!"

"No," Beema insisted with a frown, "Even if your pixels were to make it into the game, it would be far too dangerous. And that is final."

Fionna stared at the console for a long moment before her face became blank and ominous. "Oh. OK, Beema. Whelp, time for bed!" she sprung to her feet enthusiastically, despite the fact they were almost asleep.

Cake was appalled by her sister's reaction. "Fifi-?"

Fionna nudged her sister with a weird, creepy smile. _"Time for bed, Cupcake."_

It took Cake a moment to catch on. When she did, she smiled creepily at Beema. "That's right. _Time for bed."_

As the two girls climbed up the ladder, with cartoonish, gigantic smiles, Beema frowned after them.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake waited an hour or so before climbing back down the ladder again. Fionna held a lantern in one hand and climbed with the other. They stepped into the living room, being careful not to make any squeaks on the floorboards or to brush into anything loud. When they came to the recharging video game console resting on the sofa, Fionna set the lantern down on the floor. Cake gently removed the blue blanket from the recharging electronic and flipped open the little piece of material. The switch was bright in the lantern's light.<p>

Fionna poked the switch. Beema, in her recharging state, swatted her hand away with a groan. Fionna poked it again, and Beema slapped her away, groaning louder. Fionna poked the switch once more, and Beema's little hand slammed down, flipping the switch.

All that Fionna and Cake could make out in the next few moments was a flash of green light, electricity pounding through their very being, and disappearing in the blink of an eye.

* * *

><p><em>Fionna and Cake gasped as they looked around them.<em>

_Everything was cubed. The rocks, the trees, the very clouds were made of little cubes joined together. Everything had simple colors and wasn't very realistic._

_"We're in the game!" Fionna gasped. She, too, was now cubed. Her head was cubed, her arms and legs were cubed, even the ears from her hat were cubed._

_Cake lifted her digital eyes to the bright, cubed sun above their heads, sending out cubed light. "That must be the sun we gotta protect." she then turned to the gaping hole behind her. "And that must be the entrance to the tunnel!" Cake was cubed, too. Her eyes, tail, and body were all in cubed pieces joined together. She then turned to her digitized sister. "And there's you!...Doing whatever you're doing..."_

_Fionna was staring at her cubed arm as if it were made of gold or silver. "I'm looking at my pixels! My arm is totally mathematical!" as she stared at her arm, she could make out '01000110 01101001 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01101101' flying by._

_Cake sighed as she felt the sunshine fall down on her. It felt like fluffy honey being dripped all over her skin, warm and bright and soft. "That sunshine feels good all over. Like I'm being covered in sunny syrup."_

_"No wonder the bosses in this game want the sun," Fionna said aloud as she, too, felt the sun beat down on her. She punched and kicked the air. "Let's go kick some digital butts!"_

_The two girls walked away, giggling at their animation._

_As they entered the entrance to the tunnel, they began to do a little song._

_**Fionna: **__We are in the video game._

_Let's just hope it's not too lame._

_**Cake:**__ As virtual heroines, it's just you and me._

_**Fionna:**__ We can dance and sing, we can defeat Snoozey Sami._

_Cake stopped singing. She looked around them with wide, digital eyes. "Isn't this where we're supposed to jump over the-?"_

_"-spike pit." Fionna said in shocked awe, pointing ahead._

_The spike pit, instead of being a foot wide as they had always thought, stretched twenty feet in front of them, filled with hundreds of razor-sharp spikes, ready to stab them into digital pixels._

_"It looked a huck of a lot smaller when we were outside the game..." Fionna said, staring at the spike-filled pit with worried (digital) eyes._

_"This is the easiest part of the game, Fifi," Cake assured her sister. "We can jump this thing backwards. See?" Turning her back to the pit, Cake jumped backwards..._

_...and fell right down into the spikes._

_Cake screamed as she fell to the spikes. In the blink of an digital eye, there was nothing left of Cake but little cubes that flickered away._

_**Dun-dun-da-doon.**_

_**"CUPCAAAAAAAAKE!" **__shrieked Fionna._

_**Boo-boo-ba-boop!**__  
><em>

_"What's the matter?"_

_Fionna whirled around to see Cake, looking at her with her cubed paws on her virtual sides. _

_Fionna looked flabbergasted. "What the chank?"_

_"It's alright, Fifi. See?"_

_Cake pointed a digital paw to the top of the screen. Fionna looked up. There were three icons of her, and two of Cake. Both of them had '00000' next to them._

_"Extra lives," Cake stated smugly._

_Fionna was still staring at Cake's icons. "You still have two left."_

_With a mad giggle, Cake hurled herself into the pit again. She screamed yet laughed as she hit the spikes, her lifeless pixels scattering everywhere._

_**Dun-dun-da-doon.**_

_Fionna glared at the vanishing pixels of her feline sister. "CUPCAKE!"_

_**Boo-boo-ba-boop!**_

_Cake appeared behind her, singing to the chime that signified her reincarnation. "INFINITE RESPAWNATION!" _

_Fionna stopped her sister before she could jumped into the pit again. "Cupcake, what if losing all your lives in here makes you die in real life? Or worse?!"_

_Cake paused before her digital eyes turned guilty. She sat down, saying, "Now I feel stanky."_

_"Don't worry your little virtual head about it," Fionna said. "We'll cross this pit with real world tactics."_

* * *

><p><em>As Cake front paws touched the other side of the pit, Fionna stepped off of the cat's body. Cake looked up at her sister. "This game is really intense, Fifi."<em>

_"WE'RE really intense, Cupcake." Fionna said, and patted her sister on the back._

_BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIZZZZZZZZZZZ_

_Cake's digital ears pricked at the unusual sound surrounding them. "What's that noise?"_

_"It sounds like-"_

_"-WHIRLY WASP!" the two girls cried as they whirled around. Whirly Wasp stood before them, her body the size of a car, her spikes the size of razor-sharp beachballs. With a creepy smile on her face, she flew at the two heroines._

_The two girls dodged the attack. Fionna turned to the digital feline next to her. "You ready to beat this digital wasp's stingers in?"_

_"Let's do it." Cake nodded._

_10 SECONDS LATER_

_Fionna screamed horribly as Whirly Wasp shot stinger after stinger at her. Every time a stinger hit her cubed body, that part of her would vanish. Cake could do nothing but scream in horror as he sister was being attacked. A few seconds later, nothing remained of Fionna but a bunch of pixels on the ground._

_**Dun-dun-da-doon.**_

_Whirly Wasp 'whirled' to Cake. Cake let out a cry of surprise and darted deeper into the tunnel, her breathing hard and heavy and her digital heart pounding like a gigantic drum. As began running slower and slower, "Fifi...dead..." she fell to her knees, virtual tears falling from her eyes to little pixels on the ground. "Oh, Fifi, why?" She tossed her head back, letting out a heart-wrenching scream, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" her voice echoed off the digital walls._

_"CURSE THIS DIGITAL REALM!" Cake picked up a cubed rock and threw it angrily at the wall. It exploded into pixels. Cake then fall back to her knees, sobbing with anguish._

_**Boo-boo-ba-boop!**_

_Cake didn't even hear the chime. "Oh, Fifi."_

_"Whaddup?"_

_Cake whirled around in joyous surprise. Fionna was standing right behind her, a smile on her digital face._

_Cake threw her digitized body against Fionna's, hugging her tightly. "Fifi! You're alive!"_

_"Yeah," Fionna gave Cake a inquiring smirk. "Extra lives, remember?"_

_"Oh, Fifi," Cake buried her muzzle into Fionna's virtual shirt. "Let's never die again. Nothing is more precious than a life." after a moment of sitting still, Cake turned around. "Fifi, rings!"_

_Three large, soccerball-sized rings hovered before them, golden and blinking._

_"Sweet paninis!" Cake leaped from Fionna's arms, causing the human girl to stumble back. Cake ran up to the rings and picked one from the air. She hugged it to her chest. "These rings are heavy! Let's take them back to the real world! We'll be filthy stankin' rich!"_

_Fionna and Cake laughed as they picked out the other two rings from the air._

_A rubbery, mushy roar interrupted them. "GHURAGBLEUARG!"_

_Fionna and Cake span around. "GUMMY BUNNY!"_

_The giant, gummy rabbit brought a thick, rubbery paw down at their feet. Fionna and Cake were launched into the air. As they landed on their backs, the rings fell from Cake's paws, blinking away. All 500 points Cake had vanished. "NOOOOOOOO!"_

_"It's time to bring out Hammy!" Fionna held out her digital arms. "Come to me, Hammy."_

_Nothing happened. _

_Frowning, Fionna looked up at the top of the screen. "Hammy?" The hammer's digital icon remained, unaffected. Fionna sighed. "Oh, Hammy. Without the controller, I can't select you."_

_Gummy Bunny let out a warning snarl._

_"Let's get out of here, Fifi," Cake said to her sister, clutching the last remaining coin to her chest._

_Fionna was appalled. "We NEVER run away from Gummy Bunny!"_

_However, as Gummy Bunny roared and brought her paw down. Fionna and Cake dodged it and ran away from the digital monster._

* * *

><p><em>"Whirly Wasp, Gummy Bunny; they're supposed to be the easy parts!" Fionna gave something between a huff and a sigh. "But they were grade-A bad gals! Snoozey Sami is going to be a top-rank buttknocker."<em>

_"Fifi, the most important thing to remember...is that I still have one giant ring," Cake sighed and held up the golden ring._

_"Get a hold of your brains, Cupcake," scoffed Fionna, "We need to keep an eye out for Snoozey Sami."_

_Cake stopped in her tracks and pointed straight ahead. "That's her right there."_

_Fionna froze and looked ahead. A beachball-sized form, green and spotted with yellow-cubed spots. The form's back was turned to them, and it showed no signs of acknowledging their existence._

_"Get down," Fionna put a hand on the top of her sister's cubed head, and pushed both of them to the ground. "What's she doing?"_

_Snoozey Sami didn't move an inch._

_"I think she's trying to psych us." Fionna said. With a deep breath, she pressed her body to the ground and began to crawl towards the sami-famous toad. "I will crush you, Snoozey Sami. When I'm done with you, they'll call you Stupid Sami. Stanky, stupid toad."_

_Snoozey Sami flicked her tongue._

_Glaring, Fionna pushed herself up on her feet. Inching towards the toad, she raised her fist._

_Suddenly, Snoozey Sami whirled around and leaped at Fionna, squarely hitting her stomach._

_Fionna felt the wind woosh out of her. She tumbled back and landed right next to Cake. "I wasn't fast enough," she groaned as she lifted herself up on one elbow. She then snarled and yelled, "HELP ME KILL HER!"_

_"LET'S DO IT!" Cake picked her sister up around the waist and threw her with full-force at Snoozey Sami. Fionna let out a battle cry as she raised a fist-_

_Snoozey Sami flicked its tongue around Fionna's waist. It pulled her into its mouth and chewed. A moment later, it spat up a number of Fionna-colored pixels._

_**Dun-dun-da-doon.**_

_**Boo-boo-ba-boop!**_

_Fionna appeared behind Cake, looked surprised and confused._

_Snoozey Sami flicked her tongue at Cake, but the cat dodged. Jumping into her sister's arms, Cake yelled, "Let's get outta here, Fifi!" Snoozey Sami jumped towards them. "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"_

_And so, the two girls ran. They came across Gummy Bunny, who snarled at them and tried to take a swipe at them. The two girls ran past it, and they now had both Gummy Bunny and Snoozey Sami chasing them now._

_They then came to the spike-pit again. Cake picked up Fionna and quickly jumped over. Gummy Bunny and Snoozey Sami fell into the pit, only to be caught by Whirly Wasp. Whirly Wasp flew after the two girls, with Snoozey Sami and Gummy Bunny riding her._

_"I can see the sunlight! Hurry!" Fionna cried. The two girls burst from the tunnel's entrance. They didn't even marvel at the wonderful feeling the sunlight gave them. They continued running, but suddenly, they ran into an invisible wall._

_"Oh no," Fionna pressed her hand against the invisible wall. Tiny, almost invisible waves of purple came from her palm. "It's the edge of the screen! We're done for!"_

_"Wait, Fifi," Cake put a paw on her sister's shoulder. Her eyes were on the top of the screen. "Hammy." _

_"I can't get him without the controller, remember?" Fionna cried as she pressed her body against the screen's edge._

_"Hold on," Cake said, dropping her ring and stretching her virtual body to the top of the screen. She stood before Hammy's icon, staring at it intently. _

_"Cupcake?" Fionna called. "Cupcake!"_

_"Maybe if I..." Cake's voice trailed off as she put her paws on the edges of Hammy's icon._

_"CUPCAKE! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" Fionna yelled out._

_Cake pulled on the icon with all her digital might. A loud, beeping, warning siren blared throughout the game, making her virtual ears close in on themselves. The word 'ERROR' appeared on the screen, and a deep female voice repeated it over and over._

_"CUPCAKE! __**LET GO**__!" Fionna yelled frantically._

_"BUT WE NEED HAMMY!" Cake pulled until her digitized muscle strained, and finally, the icon was pulled from the top of the screen._

_The minute Cake's digital back hit the ground, a loud , thin sound screamed around them, like the sound of an unavailable TV channel. Bolts of digital light flashed from the gaping hole of Hammy's icon, unnameable colors. Suddenly, a bolt of light hit Fionna, and she exploded into digital pixels._

_**"FIFI!" **__Cake cried out just before a bolt of lightning hit her and the ring. All of their pixels darted into the gaping hole, sending them through the depths of the digital world._

* * *

><p>Beema awoke to a fiery, screaming pain tearing through its body. As a video game console, she wasn't supposed to feel pain, unless she was being shorted out. But being shorted out only felt like being pricked by needles, and this felt like it was exploding into fire.<p>

In an explosion of sparks, Fionna and Cake burst from the console's body. They both hit the wall and landed on the floor in unison, no longer cubed or digital, but normal and alive.

"SWEET MOTHER OF MATH!" Fionna yelled out in relieved awe. "CUPCAKE, THAT WAS CRAZY!"

"Yeah, and I still got my ring." Cake held up the huge, gold-colored ring. Her tail puffed out in anger. "WHA-? IT'S MADE OF PLASTIC?"

_"Augh..."_

Cake whirled around with a gasp. "Beema!"

Fionna and Cake ran over to the poor console. It was on its side, sparks flying from the gaping hole in its material. Its screen blinked and whirred in pain. It was letting out pitiful moans and gasps of pain that mixed with the horrible sounds coming from its mechanisms.

"Oh, no!" Cake gasped. Carefully, she lifted the computer into a sitting position, but it still sent pain surging through its body. "Are you alright, baby cakes?"

"Y-yyyyyou have tttttto-" Beema let out a cry of agonizing pain. "NO!" Sparks began to shoot like fireworks from her body. "RUN!"

Fionna and Cake let out cries of horror as a large form began to sprout from the console. They ran for the door, and flung themselves outside (Cake was so freaked out she threw herself through the window), their hearts heavy in pity for the poor console.

It was no use. With the exploding sound of splintering wood, Fionna and Cake felt themselves being caught in a sticky embrace.

Fionna and Cake screamed. Gummy Bunny (who held them), Snoozey Sami, and Whirly Wasp all glared down at them, ready to kill them that instant. Whirly Wasp loaded itself with stingers, ready to fire.

_"NO!" "DON'T KILL US!" "WE DON'T HAVE EXTRA LIVES!" "PLEASE!"_

"Hold on," Snoozey Sami spoke up. Her voice was very feminine and lovely for a disgusting toad. "There's sunshine here!"

They all let out sighs of pleasure as sunlight covered their virtual-turned-real bodies. They let out murmurs of pleasure.

"Thanks, guys," Gummy Bunny said (in a surprisingly sweet voice), letting Fionna and Cake go from her sticky grasp. She and Whirly Wasp hopped/flew away.

"That's it?" Fionna asked in surprise. "You're not going to kill us?"

"That's it," chuckled Snoozey Sami, "The game's over. We won! All we wanted was the sunshine!"

Fionna and Cake smiled in relief.

"...And to kill the computer that's been imprisoning us for the past so-and-so years."

Fionna swore she heard a record scratch. "What?!"

"HELP!" Beema's screaming voice called out to them. Gummy Bunny had her in her gummy grip, keeping its arms pinned to its sides and its gaping wound covered in gummy substance. Whirly Wasp buzzed over Beema, its stingers cocked and loaded.

"BEEMA!" Fionna and Cake gasped.

"Oh, yeah, it's dangerous," said Snoozey Sami. "If it presses its button again, back we go."

"BEEMA!" cried Fionna. "QUICK, HIT YOUR BUTTON!"

"I CAN'T!" Beema cried. It flinched as Whirly Wasp cocked another stinger. "I'M STUCK!"

"YOU WANT US TO GO BACK?" Snoozey Sami shrieked. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"

Snoozey Sami pounced on Cake, flicking her tongue across her body in attempt to eat her. As Cake held her back, she cried, "WE'LL SAVE YOU, BEEMA! HURRY, FIFI!"

"THEY'RE TOO STRONG, FIONNA!" Beema cried before the human girl could move. "USE THE COMBO MOVE! USE THE-" It was cut off by a cascade of gummy liquid covering her.

"But it never works!" Fionna said to herself.

"You can do this, Fifi!" Cake yelled as Snoozey Sami pulled her into her mouth. "You g-" she was cut off by Snoozey Sami engulfing her. She popped out of her mouth again. "YOU GOT THIS!" She was engulfed once more.

"You got this, Fionna." Fionna told herself solidly. "You got this." She took a deep breath."

_"Down,_

_Up,_

_Right, _

_Right, _

_Left, _

_Left."_

Fionna began to glow with power.

_"Up, _

_Turn, _

_Up, _

_Down, _

_Right, _

_Left, _

_Right, _

_Up, _

_Turn, _

_Down, _

_Up, _

_Jump!" _

Snoozey Sami, Whirly Wasp, and Gummy Bunny exploded into sparks like fireworks. Cake jumped into her sister's arms. "I knew you could do it! Right, Beema?"

Beema didn't answer. It only moaned in pain as puffs of smoke rose from the gaping hole in its body.

"Beema!" Fionna and Cake rushed over to it. Fionna lifted it rightside-up, carefully.

Beema glared through her screen. "FIONNA, I TOLD YOU HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS TO PASS TO THE DIGITAL WORLD! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! OUR HOUSE IS WRECKED AND I LOOK LIKE CRUD!"

"I know, and I'm really sorry..." Fionna smirked. "But now that we know what to expect, we can do it again!"

"Yeah!" Cake agreed excitedly. "How 'bout it, Beema?"

_"Down,_

_Up,_

_Right, _

_Right, _

_Left, _

_Left."_

"BEEMA, NO!"

TRIVIA

When Fionna looks at her arm and exclaims "My arm is totally mathematical!," we see it's made of binary code that spell out 'Fionna's arm.'


	43. Demise in Bloom

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Peppermint Maid-Prince Gumball's loyal maid as well as a Candy Kingdom inhabinant. As a royal helper, Peppermint Dress is a well-dressed candy person. She wears a traditional black dress with white lace, with a headpiece and black flats. As opposed to Peppermint Butler, she has black eyes.

Demise-the ruler of Limbo and the 73rd Demise Realm. She is also one of the most powerful beings in the universe. She has a bearskull-like head with a human-skeleton body. She wears a black bodysuit with a stale-white satchel at her side.

DEMISE IN BLOOM

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake's skulls sit in the wilted garden, smiles still imprinted in their skulls_

Prince Gumball sputtered into his glass of grape juice, sending little droplets onto his pale purple tuxedo. "Oh cheese, what time is it? I gotta go to FruitDale for the annual Cure Banquet." He picked up the little blue pot containing a flower with pale pink petals that curled out in all directions. "Can you gals watch my flower? I usually hire a sitter, but...meh." He shrugged.

Fionna, who was sitting across from the royal in a velvet armchair, nodded as she took the pot in her palms. "Of course, Prince Gumball."

"Excellent. Thank you, Fionna. I'll be back on the Noon." Prince Gumball stood and stepped over to the side of the castle's roof. Fionna and Cake followed. Prince Gumball cupped his hands around his mouth and shrieked, _**"KACAAAAAW!"**_

A gigantic, bald-eagle like bird with a crown matching to Prince Gumball's swooped down and scooped up the prince in its talons.

Fionna pet the flowers' petals. "You're in good hands, Prince Flower."

* * *

><p>The first thing they did was dance in a secret room (the same one Prince Gumball showed Fionna the Enchiridion in.) Somehow, the flowers' pot fell to the ground and shattered into pieces, but neither Fionna nor Cake noticed.<p>

* * *

><p>After that, they had lunch-pasta and strawberry soda. Fionna and Cake stuck the pasta noodles into the flowers' roots and poured the soda into its blossoms.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"And then the beast exploded into a million pieces, and the prince was safe at last." <em>Fionna's voice filled the entire sitting room. She read the storybook from the light coming from the fire shimmering in the fireplace. Cake laid next to the Prince Flower as she listened, a pink blanket spread across her body. Her eyes were fluttering shut, but she forced herself awake.

_"And everyone was happy. The end."_

_FWISH!  
><em>

Fionna looked up and screamed like a banshee. The Prince Flower was so close to the fire that it had actually CAUGHT FLAME. Cake shot up like a rocket. The two girls patted out the flames and wrapped the entire plant with bandages. They then kissed its scorched petals.

* * *

><p>"Good night, little one," Fionna sighed as she laid the Prince Flower down on a makeshift bed.<p>

The Flower looked PITIFUL. Every part of it was scorched so black that the slightest touch would make it crumble into nothing. The bandages were powered black from the embrace, and the roots looked like hairs. The petals were no longer curly or pink but were now dull gray and limp.

All three of them sat in (literal) dead silence.

"...DEAR GLOB, WE KILLED IT, CUPCAKE!" Fionna shrieked.

"I KNOW, FIFI!" Cake shrieked back.

"OK, all we need to do is go to Limbo and get the Prince Flower's soul back from Demise before Prince Gumball comes back."

"...Alright."

"Excuse me."

Peppermint Maid's small body appeared in the round doorway. She looked at the two girls with curious confusion. "Did you girls say 'Limbo'?"

Cake scrambled to cover the dead flower, making it crumble even worse. Fionna spoke, trembling, "What? No, uh, yes."

"I can take you." the little peppermint smiled.

"Really?" Fionna and Cake said in flabbergasted unison.

"Of course, Fionna. For a smile price, which we can discuss later." Peppermint Maid laughed and walked over to the window in the middle of the room. "Take my hands, ladies."

Fionna and Cake, too surprised for words, did so. All three stood before the window.

"Stare at the moon above." They did so, eyes lifting to stare at the half-moon above. "Now, slowly, cross your fingers. DO IT, BAKA!"

Fionna and Cake did so hastily. Somehow, as if by mystical magic, the half-moon split in two halves, and formed together. With a flash of black light, the window went on into pitch blackness, wavering like water.

"The portal has opened." Peppermint Maid told them with a smile. "This will lead you straight to Limbo. Demise lives in a castle made of bones."

"Alright." Fionna and Cake stepped closer to the window/portal, but stopped when Peppermint Maid spoke again.

"Tell Demise I said hello when you see her." she said. "And whatever you do, don't eat the-"

Suddenly, Fionna and Cake were sucked deep into the portal's inky abyss.

"-fruit..."

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake landed on a rocky surface. Smiling, Cake turned to Fionna as the portal swirled into nothing. "Who knew Peppermint Maid was so-"<p>

She cut off by the two girls clutching each other, screaming.

Limbo was full of tackling serpents, razor-sharp spikes, spurts of acid from little volcanoes, intestine-like tubes that gave of little purple flames, deadly scorpions, man-eating spiders, rocks peppered with eyes, bloody leeches, screaming skulls, foul corpses, and the pale skeletons of deceased beasts.

Fionna and Cake stared down at the ground, where the undead walked around so casually it was like they weren't even dead. The ground seemed like it was a million feet below them, and the undead looked like little dots.

Cake looked up at Fionna and molded her stomach into a pocket-like shape. "Wanna hop in my pouch while I carry us down?"

"Hmmm...Nah. There's an elevator." Fionna nodded her head to a black-glass elevator standing about ten feet away.

The two girls stepped inside. As the doors shut, they became aware of an undead being just behind them, with grey skin only barely hanging onto her molding skeleton. "Hi."

She waved a bony hand at them, which quickly fell to the floor.

It was a five-minute ride to the ground. When the doors opened again, they were at the end of a short line of undead beings. At the front of the line, there was a creature unlike anything they'd ever seen. She had a cat-skull-like head and a bear-skeleton body. Two wings, red as blood and as limp as wilting flower petals, stood in front of a tall gate made of bones. To the creature's left side was a whisper-y silver door. The creature was known as the Passer. She let people continue into Limbo. (The only way to get into Limbo was if you weren't sure how you died). She would also let people into other Demise Realms.

"That must be the main entrance or whatevas." Fionna told her feline sister. "Let's go!"

The two girls ran behind the last person in the line, which was also the first person. It was a female corpse, with long, tangled blue hair, sunken eyes, and rotting flesh, dressed in a white wedding dress and veil.

"Welcome to the 73rd Demise Realm." the Passer said in an almost robotic voice. "Cause of death?"

"Killed by fiance."

"Accidental or purposely?"

"Purposely."

"Have you done anything to bring your death on yourself?"

"No."

"You may pass to the 24th death world." the Passer told the corpse-bride. The whispy white door opened, and the bride stepped inside, vanishing.

Fionna and Cake stepped forward. The Passer's empty eye sockets stared down at them. "Cause of death?"

They glanced at one another. "...Being heroines?"

"...Accidental or Purposely?"

"Neutral."

"...Have you done anything to bring your death on yourself?"

"Hard to say."

The Passer glowered. "Step out of line."

"Ah, shewt." Fionna muttered.

"Wait," Cake told her human sister, "follow my lead."

Cake began to edge towards the bone-gate, and Fionna followed her lead.

The Passer started. "Hey, I said no."

They paused. They began to move again.

"Stop!"

They ran through the gates. Once inside, Cake turned to her sister. "Come on, Fifi! Follow me!"

As the two girls ran off, the Passer glared after them. "Shewt."

* * *

><p>The two girls ran for a while, past bony houses, black puddles, and littered skulls. Finally, the ground became mushy and black, covered in large stones. When they came to the top of a large hill, they looked out at the horizon, and gasped.<p>

Demise's castle stood in the distance. It was hard to see from their position, but the castle was made purely from bright white bones. Skulls, spines, ribs, wishbones, funny bones, kneecaps, from every being possible. The bones were so bright, they actually cast out a bright white glow that made the castle look like a white sun on the horizon.

"Pretty..." Cake awed.

"Come on!" Fionna exclaimed. Cake formed into a jet-ski-like shape, and Fionna hoped on top of her. The two girls slid down the slope of the hill, mud squishing and black water splattering. When they reached the bottom, a voice called out to them.

"Hey, girls!" a short, undead girl (a teenager, by the looks of it) approached them. Her skin was rotting and falling off her body, and little tufts of scraggly grey hair stuck to her head. Her green-and-grey dress hung in shreds. "Hey. I'm Fleshia." As she shook Fionna's hand, she gasped. "Flesh! Wow, I haven't seen this stuff in ages! So soft and mushy and warm..." she began to shake Fionna's hand back and forth, staring at in in odd awe.

"Hey, if you like flesh so much, watch this!" Cake let her body mold out in all directions, letting herself form a lumpy carpet on the ground.

"WHOA!" Fleshia cried out. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' TO ME! GUYS, COME OVER HERE!"

Immediately, about a six more undead beings walked towards them, all muttering in awe and licking their skulls with rotting tongues.

"Cupcake, I gotta bad feelin' about this." Fionna told the cat laying down on her back.

"Naw, they just think we're cool."

Fionna paused and looked up at the undead beings. "Do you guys think we're cool?"

"No. We're going to rip that flesh off of you, and eat it."

The two girls gasped, but only for a moment. Fionna kicked herself up on her feet and picked Cake up. "Time for some bone-smashin!"

The two girls began to bash the undead beings senseless. Fionna kicked them in their skulls, spines, and ribs. Their bones littered the muddy ground, but they simply picked up their fallen pieces and fit them back together. They were unstoppable. Well, they _were _DEAD. As the two girls continued to fight, a dozen more undead beings suddenly appeared and attacked. "SHEWT!" They were overpowered. There were too many, too quick and two strong.

Fionna tried batting them away with a nearby humerus some undead being had lost, but they simply swatted it out of her hands. They leaped on her, and gnawed at her with sharp, rotting teeth. "CUPCAKE! THERE'S TOO MANY!"

"They're trying to mash me!" Cake called back as the undead beings started to pound her down with bony fists and feet. "I AM NOT A POTATO!" She blew herself up inside, and the undead beings went flying. She picked up Fionna like a doll, and ran away as fast as she could.

She knew they had to hide. There were millions of undead beings just waiting to eat them. Her eyes caught sight of a ravine up ahead. She stretched her foot down to the bottom and brought them down. When she saw a cave only five feet away, dark and secretive, she tossed them in there and covered the cave entrance with a stone.

The sounds of angry undead beings whirred above, but they knew they were hidden well. The cave was filled with red glowworms, and the two girls were basked in red light. The cave was the size of a normal bedroom, but it was slick and cold.

"Cupcake, I'm starting to dislike Limbo." Fionna sighed.

"I dunno." Cake shrugged. "Wouldn't be so bad if there weren't peeples trying to eat us."

Fionna looked up at the blinking, shimmering glowworms above. "I wonder how Prince Gumball's doing."

* * *

><p>Prince Gumball held up a vial of bubbly blue liquid. "So, who made the cure for hippopotomonstrosesquipedali ophobia?"<p>

None of the fruits in the Annual Chemistry Banquet said a word. They never did.

Prince Gumball sighed to himself.

* * *

><p>"It's a good thing he's not coming back until noon." Fionna said.<p>

Cake cocked a furry eyebrow. "No, he said he was coming back 'on the Noon.'"

"Yeah. 'On the Noon.' That means _noon._"

"No, Fifi, the Noon is his eagle."

Fionna stared. "Come again?"

"It's his _eagle. _That thing's almost faster than the speed of light. It'll only take him, like, ten minutes to get back after the Banquet is over." She paused at Fionna's face, frozen in horror. "Are you listening, Fifi?

_The Noon_

_Is _

_An __**EAGLE."**_

_**KACAAAAAW!  
><strong>_

"THEN WE GOTTA GO!" cried Fionna, so loud that her ears rang from the noise in the enclosed cave.

* * *

><p>Fionna moved the stone from the cave entrance carefully. She and Cake cautiously stepped out, making sure the coast was clear-<p>

"STOP!"

Fionna and Cake froze.

However, they relaxed when they found out it was just a bony little bird in a nest, the sounds it made from its beak sounding a lot like 'stop! stop! stop!'

The two girls ran and ran, hearts hammering and breath heavy. Through streams, dead trees, and mud. Finally, they came to a little tunnel. Crawling through it, they peeked out of the other side. A group of about five or so undead beings were huddled down a little ravine below them. They were obviously talking about them.

"Alright, Cupcake." Fionna told her sister. "We've got to be very, very quiet."

"..."

"..."

Cake burped.

The entire sound rang out through the tunnel, amplifying it. The undead beings below looked up angrily. "There they are! Get them!"

"CUPCAKE!" Fionna whirled on her sister, agitated.

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNIES!" Cake said guiltily.

And so, the two girls ran again. For about five minutes. Then, when they were aware that no one was following them anymore. Slowing to a stop, panting, they fell to their knees.

"Demise's castle is so close!" Fionna pointed out at the horizon. Demise's castle, bright white and glowing, was the size of a soccer-ball in the distance. She looked down. "All we have to do now is pass through this orchard."

Cake gasped and looked down. A small orchard, with tall, emerald trees, was below them, down a small ravine. "I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten since forever!" She threw her legs over the side of the ravine and jumped down instantly.

The fruit that hang from the trees was peculiar. It was oddly shaped, like teardrops. It was weirdly colored, bright purple at the top but black at the bottom. It was strangely scented as well, a sort of spicy-sweet smell that was oddly alluring.

**"Yessssss..."**

Fionna screamed as she spun around. A horse-like skeleton hung from a tree by a rope, smiling wickedly down at them. "Eat of the fruit..."

Fionna span around to her sister. "Don't eat that, Cupcake! The scary skeleton wants you to!"

"Aww, come on, I'm so hungries!" Cake whined, her paw stretched out to grab a large, ripe fruit.

**"DON'T eat of the fruit..."**

"See? The skeleton doesn't want me to eat it! So it's good!" giggling with glee, Cake jumped up into the bushes, sending down a shower of leaves.

There were sounds of crunching and chewing, and every five seconds a black pit fell to the grass. About 30 seconds later, Cake reappeared before the human heroine. Her face was absolutely blank, neither smiling nor frowning.

"Cupcake," Fionna said slowly, "Why are you making stupid face?"

"Who's Cupcake?"

"Awww, grik! That fruit crunked up your memory!" Fionna cried out in frustration.

The hanged skeleton cackled. **"EAT AGAIN OF THE FRUIT OF AMNESSSSSSIA!"**

Fionna, with an annoyed look, picked up a thick stick and hit the skeleton so hard all of its bones fell to the ground. She then turned to her sister. "CUPCAKE! DON'T EAT ANYMORE FRUIT!"

Cake's face turned from confused to irritated. She stalked over to Fionna, her tail hairs standing on end. "I don't know who you are, missy, but that is no way to talk to someone you don't eve-"

5 SECONDS LATER...

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Cake screeched as Fionna dragged her through the orchard.

* * *

><p>Prince Gumball turned around as he hopped onto the Noon's feathery back. "Farewell, fine villagers."<p>

The fruits said nothing, as always.

"...Alright..." Prince Gumball shivered and turned around. "Noon, back to the Candy Kingdom!"

_**"KACAAAAAAW!"**_

The Noon took off. Time was running out.

* * *

><p>"Help!" Cake's voice cried. Her voice echoed off into nothingness. "ANYBODY! S.O.S!"<p>

They had reached Demise's castle. It was much brighter up close, but not bright enough that they needed to squint. As they stepped through the guard-less gates of the castle, Fionna looked around. The ground was made of dead, yellow grass, possibly to symbolize Demise's position as a ruler of death. The bones that made up the castle looked like pearly sticks, smooth and soft to the touch. The air she breathed was warm, but the air against her skin was cold.

They made it to the courtyard, with Cake still crying for help. The courtyard was filled with statues of people crying out in either anguish, agony, or for help. The courtyard was filled with flower, everything from Anemone 'Galilees' to Watsonias, but they were all dead and limp.

In the middle of the courtyard was Demise herself. She looked a lot different than Fionna thought she would. Fionna thought that Demise would be a skeleton in a black cloak or something, and while she was close, she wasn't spot-on. Her head was a skull, like the one of a bear. Her body was like Fionna's, but a bit taller and slimmer. She was wearing black, but it was a black jumpsuit. A stale white satchel hung at her side. She was tending to some limp petunias, humming _Till Death do us Meet. _

Fionna pulled Cake behind a statue of a crying woman. Cake squirmed in her grass. Fionna heard Demise hum and turn around.

"Hey! I can see you there!"

_Ohglobohglobohglobohglob!_

Cake peeked out behind the statue. "Who are you?"

Fionna peeked between the statue's legs. Demise was staring at Cake, her sunken eyes confused and annoyed. "Who am-? WHO ARE YOU?!"

"I don't know! I asked you first!" to Fionna's horror, Cake stepped out from behind the statue and walked over to the ruler of death.

"You're in MY castle!" Demise yelled.

"Well I didn't know!"

_"Darn it, Cupcake..." _Fionna moaned.

"You must leave my castle this instant!" Demise cried, obviously getting irritated.

With a deep breath, Fionna stepped out from behind the statue, waving her arms in a ghostly manner. "Demiiiiise! We're not leaving until you give us our plant's soul back! And Cupcake's memoryyyy!"

Demise groaned inwardly. "Not again." she flicked her bony fingers towards the exit. "Begone, mortal!"

"NO! I PROMISED PRINCE GUMBALL!" Frustrated, Fionna ran at Demise, her hand fisted and ready to punch. However, just as her fist was supposed to make contact with Demise's skull, Fionna flew right through her and into a statue, brusing her knee. "Wha-?"

Demise gave Fionna a -_- face. "OK, a) You can't hurt a ruler of death. And b) Are you seriously trying to punch someone who can kill you in a heartbeat?"

"I'LL KILL YOU IN LESS THAN A HEARTBEAT!" Fionna replied, jumping to her feet.

Cake chuckled. "This girl's pretty cute."

"Alright." Demise sighed.

With a flick of the death-ruler's fingers, a stage appeared next to them all. Not a big stage, just a medium-sized one made of metal, with a wall at the back. The wall was covered with microphones of all shapes and sizes and colors. Some were shiny, and some were dull, and some were small, and some were large. Some didn't even look like microphones whatsoever. "Pick a microphone. If you want a soul back from me, you have to beat me in karaoke battle."

"But Cake's the musical one!" cried Fionna. "And she's got goo-brain!"

As if to prove Fionna's point, Cake rolled her lips.

"I don't care," hissed Demise.

Fionna groaned and lifted herself onto the stage. She looked up at the microphones. _I've got to pick something simple, _she told herself. She scanned the wall with her eyes. No, no, definately no, no, no, no, maybe, no, no, aha! She grabbed a microphone off the wall.

It looked exactly like a baby rattle.

"We're singing _爱你爱到死__."_

Fionna froze. "We're singing wha-?"

"READY-SET-GO!" A quick, high beat began to play. A shining image appeared in front of the stage in a puff of black. Lyrics began to appear before them.

Demise began to sing.

_"__我会爱你到死_

_随着我的心_

_直到最后一口气_

_我们的爱像致命的艺术_

_自从我遇见你_

_我知道，我们的意思是_

_您没有线索_

_我是多么需要你在我身边_

_但现在，你已经走了。_

_这都是我的错_

_但直到最后一天的黎明_

_你会在我的心中_

_我爱你爱到死_

_我真的做到了_

_但我需要你走了_

_对不起__"_

The song ended with a short guitar solo.

Fionna had never made a sound the entire time. "...wh..."

"OK," Demise said as the bony microphone in her hand vanished, "Who was better?"

Cake was jumping up and down in glee. "Oh, skelly-girl fo sho! She was all, _我会爱__-!"_

_"CUPCAKE!" _Fionna cried in disbelief.

Cake frowned at the human girl. "What? Skelly-girl was the bomb. You want me to lie?"

"YES!" Fionna yelled. Out of nowhere, a spidery black cage appeared around her. The material making it up looked razor-sharp, so se avoided touching it.

"I'm going to kill you know," Demise said to her.

Fionna felt her stomach drop like a stone into the ocean. "Wha-? NO! I STILL HAVE TO BE A HEROINE!"

"That's the rule in Limbo." Demise told her. The death-ruler's sunken eyes began to grow a horrible bloodred that made Fionna's hair stand on end. "Lose in a karaoke battle, lose your life."

Fionna felt like screaming. She was going to die. Cake had goo-brain, Princess Bubblegum was going to return to a dead plant, and Peppermint Maid was probably going to feel so guilty...

Wait.

Peppermint Maid!

"Hold on!" Fionna yelled, waving her arms madly before the death-ruler could kill her. "I made a promise to tell you that Peppermint Maid said hello."

Demise jumped ten feet high. The spidery cage around Fionna disappeared, and when she looked at Demise, the Limbo-ruler's face had broken into an impossibly big smile.

"You know Peppermint Maid?!" Demise cried out, laughing in disbelief.

Fionna felt the corners of her mouth twitch into an uneasy smile. "Yeah."

Demise laughed again. "Why didn't you say so sooner? You gals can have anything y'all want!"

Still laughing, Demise hopped off the stage and began to walk towards Cake, who was grinning like a little child (or kitten, as the case may be.) Demise stared down at the feline for a few moments...before smacking her right in the face.

"WHAT'S YO PROBLEM!" Cake yelled in anger, her tail puffing out madly.

"Slap of Demise." Demise stated. "You have your memory back."

Cake rubbed her furry cheek, still frowning. "I wish I didn't."

"And now I will return the soul of your plant." Demise muttered some foreign words, and a transparent, watery image of the Prince Plant appeared above her bony palms. The image burst into stale light before shooting up into the black sky until it could be seen no more.

Fionna and Cake cheered.

"If you need anything else, I'll be here. Bye, now."

Demise's eyes glowed ruby read. Two bright beams shot out of her sunken eyes and flew straight at the two girls.

And that's the last they saw of Limbo.

* * *

><p>"Hello, girls." Prince Gumball smiled as he hopped off of the Noon. "Where's my plant?"<p>

Fionna and Cake smiled as Peppermint Maid (whom they had officially made their new best galfriend) walked over to them, holding the Prince Planet, alive and bright, in a new pot. "Hello, Prince."

"It looks great!" Prince Gumball said as Peppermint Maid set the Plant down. Fionna and Cake watched as Prince Gumball walked over to his plant, touched a bloom...

...and popped it RIGHT INTO HIS MOUTH.

Fionna and Cake's jaws probably hit the floor.

As they watched, Prince Gumball's quiff of gummy pink hair began to twist. Soon, he had a head full of soft, gummy curls. (Fionna had to admit, his hair looked pretty frikkin' nice like that.)

"Thank you all for taking such good care of my beloved plant!" Prince Gumball cried in glee. "Now c'mere and give me a hug!"

"Yay!" They all cheered. They all embraced each other, relieved and satisfied that their trouble was finally over.

"Miss Fionna? Miss Cake?"

Fionna and Cake stooped down, smiling, to talk to their peppermint friend. "Yeah, PM?"

"I do believe you owe me something for that favor I did you."

Fionna and Cake nodded. "Yeah, sure, what is it?"

"I'd like your flesh."

Fionna and Cake burst into giggles. "Really, Peppermint Maid, what is it?"

Peppermint Maid's eyes glowed bloodred. **"I WILL EAT YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP."**

Fionna and Cake stared.

TRIVIA

This is the first time Prince Gumball's hair is seen differently.

The bride that the Passer talks to is a reference to Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride."


	44. Steven Strong

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Steven Strong-a character who appears in the episode of the same name. He is a large, tall man with extremely thick muscles. He has tan skin and dirty blond, messy hair. He wears a indigo garmet (made of fur) and a hat shaped like a dog's, with a tail to match.

STEVEN STRONG

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake look into the inky darkness. The darkness looks back._

"And this is the sight."

Fionna and Cake looked all around them. Trees were scattered everywhere, thick as cars and as tall as towers. There were about a dozen, total. The sky was cloudless and the sun was bright.

"My great aunt Bubbleglum was going to build a farm here." Prince Gumball said. Instead of his usual attire, he was now wearing a pastel blue button-up shirt, a pink jacket, darker pink jeans, and pale yellow sneakers. A yellow carry-on bag hung at his side.

"Because he was trying to protect himself from the evil surrounding this place." Fionna nodded. "Right, Prince Gumball?"

"Nah, she was trying to breed illegal insect species here." Prince Gumball smiled warmly. "Hey, I bet you have loads of cool stories about your human relatives."

Fionna's smile faltered. "Um, no, actually...I've never even met any other humans." she paused. "If I think abuot it too much, I crunk out and get all...creeeepy..."

Prince Gumball's face tinged pink(er). "I've made things awkward...well, anyways, I brought you both here because I need you to get rid of all these trees so I can build a memorial here."

"Alright..." Fionna murmured halfheartedly. "I guess..."

"It'll be fun!" Cake assured her, and shrunk herself into the size of a baseball, flinging herself into Fionna's hand. "Throw the Cakenade!"

Fionna tugged the feline's tail and tossed her towards a large tree. Cake wedged into its roots and blew up in side, sending the tree flying.

Fionna burst into laughter.

Prince Gumball smirked. "I'm glad you're cool about being the only hu-" he frowned. "I mean, uh...well, nevermind. I'm gonna sceedattle. No hard feelings." With that, the prince walked away.

"Again, Fifi!" Cake said as she shrunk down and set herself in Fionna's hand again.

Fionna smiled, tugged Cake's tail, and hurled her at a thick tree about ten feet away.

CLUNK!

"Owwww!" Cake grew to normal size, rubbing her hand in pain. She turned to her sister. "I don't think this is a tree."

Fionna ran over and helped her sister up before turning to the tree. It looks smoother than a tree should. Reaching out, she realized all the indentions and lines in the tree were painted. Stepping back a bit, she could make out the outline of a square. "I think there's a door here."

"A door, huh?" Cake stepped past Fionna and felt the tree for a minute before finding the opening of the door. She pulled it open, with the door creaking loudly. The two girls could see stairs leading downwards before they disappeared behind a wall, into inky darkness.

Fionna turned to her sister, smiling softly. "Let's check this joint out."

"You think we should?" Fionna asked, unsure. "There could be any-"

"Onward, sister!" Cake flung herself down the stairs, not tripping or hesitating. Cat vision.

"Cupcake, wait-!" Fionna stopped as she looked at the wall in front of the stairs. She could make out a stamped message, covered in dust. She could make out two words, big black letters.

Fionna's eyebrows furrowed as she read the words. " 'Oh dang?' "

After staring for a few more moments, she shrugged it off and stumbled into the darkness. "Wait up, Cupcake!"

As the girl disappeared into the darkness, a gust of wind blew in through the door. The dust on the message blew away, revealing the full message:

**BIOHAZARD DANGER**

* * *

><p>After minutes of stumbling, tripping, and falling down the light-less stairs, Fionna and Cake smacked into another door. A metal one. Fionna found a handle, pulled it, and flung the door open in a puff of dust.<p>

"S'dark, huh?" Fionna said, and felt around for her backpack. Reaching in, she pulled out a large flashlight, turning it on. A beam of light came out, so bright in the darkness that they squinted for a moment.

They gasped.

"An ancient civilization!" Fionna cried. They were in an underground cavern, with busted, broken buildings that stretched twenty feet above. Piles of ash and debris were scattered around randomly. Water dripped from the ceilings, and the slightest sounds echoed off the walls.

Fionna and Cake began to walk, crunching on garbage and pebbles. They climbed over piles of debris and garbage, heading deeper and deeper into the ruins of the lost civilization. As they leaped down from the top of a particularly large pile, Cake's muzzle scrunched up. "This place is a dump."

"Hey, be nice," Fionna said. The flashlight flickered, and she tapped it to get it cleared up.

"Why? It's obvious no one lives here," retorted Cake. "Can you imagine the gross weirdos that musta lived here?"

They heard the sound of garbage moving behind them, clunking and rustling. Then, there was a gruff "rargh?"

Fionna and Cake turned around.

Two bright green eyes stared at them.

Fionna and Cake screamed.

And so did the creature before them.

Fionna and Cake stumbled back. They hit a pile of garbage, and a landslide of it came down. There were grunts. Turning around, they saw two pairs of eyes, one blue and one brown, staring at them.

More eyes began to appear all around. There were six now. "They're everywhere!" Fionna cried.

They began to ran, but they were blocked off by about ten more pairs of eyes. They cried out as the pairs of eyes closed in on them. They didn't look hungry or angry, but curious.

Fionna thought fast. Looking down at her flashlight, she raised it and waved it around. There were cries of pain and fear. The eyes disappeared, and so did their owners. Fionna was panting.

The two girls heard a rustle behind them. They turned around, and Fionna raised the flashlight.

He was tall, much taller than Fionna. He was burly, too, like a boulder. He wore an indigo hat with dog-like ears, and dirty blond hair peeked out in messy tufts. A single indigo garment made of fur covered his body, and a dog-like tail was attached from the back. He was frozen like a deer in headlights, his big green eyes huge and his mouth somewhere between a smile and a frown.

After a moment, his eyes darted to his left, as if something had caught his eye. He turned around, and his shadow moved with him. He cried out in a deep, terrified voice. "SHADEHO!"

Gasps of fear rang out around the two girls, but they couldn't see their owners.

Fionna raised the flashlight upward, so as not to frighten the terrified male. He calmed down, but only a fraction. "Ah ma gah nass! Eh ga-a hei uily!"

His head darted back and forth, and he dove behind an abandoned tank. His bright green eyes looked out at them with fear.

"These peeps are terrified!" Fionna told her sister, staring back at the hidden being. "They can't even stand looking at their shadows!"

"We could rule them," Cake smiled, "Like goddesses." She said the next part under her breath. "_Angry _goddesses."

Fionna took a small step towards the tank, setting the flashlight down on the ground. "Hey, it's OK," she said, like she did when she was talking to scared animals. "We won't hurt you. You can come out."

His eyes turned from fearful to curious. He poked his head out a little bit.

"Yeah, it's alright," Fionna smiled.

Slowly, he stepped out from behind the tank. Very, very slowly, he stepped towards the two girls.

Fionna got a better look at him.

Round, green eyes. A nose a bit bigger than hers. A mouth in a curious frown. Blonde eyebrows inquired in fascination.

"Your hat..." Fionna's hand brushed against the floppy ears. "Your face..." she stared into his bright green eyes. "Y-you..._**YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME!"**_

At the sudden outburst, the male cried out in fear. Around her, Fionna her screams and gasps, and the shuffles of feet. The other beings in the lost civilization had been walking closer, but now they were running away.

Did they look like her too?

"Hold up, Fifi!" Cake said just as Fionna was about to call them back. "They're startled. You gotta be gentle with wild animals."

"I don't think they're wild animals," Fionna said as she looked at the bright green eyes who had taken cover behind the tank once again, "I think this could be a trive of...of HUMANS!"

There were more gasps.

The male behind the tank murmured to himself, "Hyuuuumaaaanssss..."

But Fionna couldn't hold in her excitement. She began to dance in place, like a boxer. "ARE ALL OF YOU HUMANS?!" she practically screamed. "What are they doing down here?" she asked Cake in a blur.

Cake, who was kinda scared of excited!Fionna, paused. "I dunno. They probably don't know where else to go?"

Fionna turned to the bright green eyes. "Hey! Don't you want to get out of here? I can take you outside to see the world! The sun and the stars and the-"

The male stepped out a bit. "St..."

Fionna smiled. "Sssssuuuuun. Ssssssstaaaaaarrrrssss."

"Staaaeeeaaaannnn..." the male said slowly.

Fionna's eyes sparkled as she approached the male. "You poor things."

The other 'Hyumans' murmured to each other in a gibberish language.

"Cupcake," Fionna whispered to her sister, "We've gotta help these guys. They're my people, and it's my sworn duty to show them the real world." Fionna smiled and turned to the male behind her. "Starting with you. What's your name?"

"Staaaeeeehaaaaaaan..."

Fionna cocked her head to the side. "Steven?"

The male smiled, pleased at the word.

"Well, let's bring him up!"

Cake stepped behind 'Steven.' She them formed herself into a comfortable-looking, roller-coaster-cart-like seat for them both.

"The surface awaits, m'lord." Fionna patted the space next to her in the seat. Steven awkwardly sat next to her.

With that, the two girls disappeared into the stairs once more.

* * *

><p>"You're gonna love it up here, Steven," Fionna said as Cake stepped back through the doorway. Steven hissed at the pain the harsh sun brought to his eyes, but he opened them again moments later. He looked up at the sky. "Suhhn?"<p>

"Yeah, there are a lot of wonder on the topside." Fionna beamed at the burly male before her.

Steven set his feet on the ground, the grass tickling his feet. He cried out. "Wha iz diz stau oh de grou?"

"Steven..." frowned Fionna, "It's just grass. It won't hurt you."

Steven, however, was freaking out. He jumped on Cake's back, which cracked loudly. Cake cried out in pain. "AUGH! MAH BACK!"

"It's alright." Fionna said, and waved her arms around in the grass, letting it tickle her skin. "It's just grass."

Steven stepped down from Cake's back (which was nearly broken) and touched the grass with his fingers. Than his arms. Then his legs. His breathing got quicker and deeper.

Then he collapsed flat on his face.

Cake stepped over to them. "You killed him."

Fionna gawked. "Wai-WHAT?!"

"Yep." Cake nodded. "Exposed to new surface germs."

Suddenly, Steven's body began to roll away through the grass.

Cake chuckled. "I'mma jus' kiddin'."

Steven continued to roll around in the grass madly, laughing like a madman. Cake furrowed her forehead. "He's just lovin' on that grass."

When Steven stood, his face and clothes were covered in grass stains. "Ah lav de grah ah har!"

"Ah, Steven," Fionna sighed and took out a napkin from her backpack and rubbed it on Steven's green face, "You got grassblood all over ya."

Steven cried out, backing away from the napkin. "AUGH! GAH DE MOHA AWE FO MA!"

Fionna frowned, her eyes narrowing. "Steven. A napkin WILL NOT hurt you."

"Ool." Steven took the napkin and slowly rubbed it against his face and clothes.

Fionna groaned and turned to Cake. "Cupcake, how'm I gonna show Steven all the wonders of Aaa if every little things terrifies them?"

Cake wiggled her paws at her. "Paaaay-chooonce. Stevie just needs time to acclimate to the 'Aaa-Climate.' "

Fionna sighed to herself. "Very well. I shall introduce Steven to Aaa...BY ANGSTROM!"

CUMULATIVE TIME!

And so the introducing began. As they walked down the hill, a large butterfly fluttered over to them. Steven cried out in fear. "HEI EI HA MAOR!"

Fionna smiled. "It can't hurt you. It's a music butterfly."

As the butterfly continued to flutter, a melody came from its wings. Fionna and Cake began to dance. Steven stared at them, perplexed. Then, smiling, he began to awkwardly move.

Fionna beamed. "Yeah!"

* * *

><p>Afterwards, Cake stretched them to the top of Mt. Minimal. As they stood on the flat top, Steven cried out, pointing at a small rock. "WHA EH DA?"<p>

"It's just a rock." Cake flicked the rock away. "Can't do nothin'."

Steven paused and turned to a ten-foot-tall boulder behind him. "Juh a rak." He raised a fist and punched the bouler. It exploded into millions of pieces.

* * *

><p>That evening, they sat around a campfire, resting after a day's journey. Along with a bag of marshmallows, they also brought graham crackers and chocolate bars. Cake was playing a relaxing melody on her dulcimer.<p>

As Fionna opened the bag of marshmallows, a rustling in the bushes was heard. Steven turned to them, and a small rabbit hopped out.

Steven gasped and hit behind his tree stump.

Fionna frowned. "What's wrong?" she caught sight of the rabbit, and smirked. "It's alright. She just wants to wrestle."

Fionna pounced on the rabbit. The rabbit smirked and put her in a headlock. Fionna flung her off and jumped on her once more, wrapped her arms around its middle.

Steven watched, smiling as Fionna and the rabbit 'wrehild.' As he watched, he gasped.

A large bear was crawling towards the still-wrestling Fionna and rabbit. It was very obviously hungry, and Fionna and the rabbit were just the right meal. The bear raised itself on its hind legs, raising its claws and opening its jaw.

Steven smiled and pounced on the bear. It clawed at him, growling, but Steven grabbed it around its middle and flung it backwards, over his head. Fionna had noticed the bear by now, but knew that Steven had it covered. After a while of wrestling the animals, they stopped at the same time, laughing.

They shooed the animals away and sat back down at the campfire. Cake continued to play her dulcimer, apparently never noticing their absence.

As Cake played, Steven began to sing to the melody. Well, not really sing, but he made melodic noises that went along with the musical notes.

Fionna smiled, and Cake, knowing what was going to happen next, changed the tune of the song.

_"Steven Strong,_

_This is where you belong,_

_Hangin' with me,_

_On dead trees._

_Don't you think you deserve this?_

_To live up here on the surface?_

_I think you do,_

_And I think all your friends do, too!_

_How long have you lived in the darkness?_

_I just want to show you the light!_

_Because you're a human, just like me, Steven,_

_And I want you in my life._

_Steven Strong,_

_You turn my heart on!"_

After the song, Fionna picked up two sticks, stuck on marshmallows, and handed one to Steven. Fionna stuck her stick into the flames. "How's yours, Cupcake?"

Cake lifted up her marshmallow, which looked like solid gold. "As golden as a happy life." As she picked up two graham crackers and a square of chocolate, she asked, "How's yours?"

Fionna lifted up her marshmallow, which was on fire. She blew out the flames peeled off the black skin, popping it into her mouth, leaving the marshmallow soft and gooey. As she picked up two graham crackers and some chocolate, she replied, "Perfect. How's yours, Steven?"

Steven looked down at his stick-and-marshmallow, and threw both of them into the fire. "Iz des righ?"

Fionna and Cake sighed, smiling.

"So cute," Cake said, holding up a perfect s'more. "Here ya go."

Cake stretched her arm over to Steven and popped the s'more into his mouth. As Steven chewed p the graham, chocolate, and marshmallow, his eyes grew to saucers, glittering like stars. "I LAUV DIS STUF!" Steven reached over, and grabbed the graham cracker and chocolate. He reached into each bag, getting two handfuls of chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows, and stuffed them into his mouth.

"He is banaynays about candy," Cake observed.

"We should take him to the Candy Kingdom!" Fionna exclaimed, and bounded over to Steven. "Come on, Steven. EVERYTHING is candy there!"

Steven cocked his head to the side, holding up his chocolate-marshmallow-and-graham covered hands. "Candy Kingdom bup?"

"Ya hear that?" Fionna giggled excitedly. "I taught him that!"

Cake, however, was frowning. "Y'know, he may be...TOO excited about candy."

Fionna shook her head. "Nah, he's just empowered."

"CAAAAANDY KINGDOOOOOM!"

* * *

><p>"I've enjoyed your visit very much, Steven Strong. I do hope to meet your friends soon." Prince Gumball smiled. The two males nodded to each other, and the prince disappeared back into his palace.<p>

"This is going better than I thought it would!" Fionna exclaimed.

"Fiohna."

Fionna turned to Steven, who was frowning in worry. "Yeah, Steve?"

"Wher iz all da candy yoo were talki abot?"

"Oh, it's everywhere." Fionna smiled. She gestured to a gingerbread house. "The buildings." She pointed at a cotton candy tree. "The plants." She waved over to Peppermint Maid. "Even the people!"

"We're all deliciously edible here!" Peppermint Maid exclaimed.

Steven began to hyperventilate. Before Fionna could ask what was wrong, Steven picked up Peppermint Maid and began to suck on her head. "CANDYYYYY!"

"STEVEN!" Fionna grabbed Peppermint Maid. "STE-VEN!" Fionna pulled the terrified maid free, holding her behind her back. "You can't eat the ones that talk! They're like us!" Fionna set down Peppermint Maid, who ran away, trembling in fear.

"Aoh..." Steven bowed his head in shame.

Fionna patted him on the arm. "It's alright. You're learning. Here." Fionna reached over to a potted plant and plucked off a bright red flower. "Have a lolliflower instead."

Steven popped the flower into his mouth. Like before, his eyes glittered madly.

Fionna's eyes glittered back.

Steven beamed. "Now I gonna get all o friends and we eat all o Candy Kingdom."

A record could almost be heard scratching.

"WH-NO NO NO!" Fionna shook her head like a madwoman.

"Oh, nono!" Steven shook his hands. "We nuh eat red-stripe girl. Only everyone else."

Fionna gawked.

"Bye!" With that, Steven Strong ran out of the Candy Kingdom to gather the other Hyumans.

"Steven!" Fionna ran to the chocolate gates of the kingdom, waving her arms after the male Hyuman. "STEVEN! NO!" But it was no use. Just as she reached the end of the caramel-moat, Steven disappeared into the distance.

"What do we do now?" Cake asked as she stretched over. "Fight them to the death when they attack?"

"No." Fionna shook her head. "They're my peoples. I can't turn my back on them, no matter how serious the situation is. We have to save the Candy Kingdom WITHOUT hurting them."

* * *

><p>"WHAT?" Prince Gumball's terrified voice screamed. He had changed from his earlier clothes to a blue suit with puffy sleeves and blue slippers.<p>

"Don't worry!" Fionna assured the scared royal. "We have a plan! All we need to do is scare them away! They're afraid of everything!"

Prince Gumball's face was grim. "Very well. I shall gather the citizens in the courtyard. And then the Hyumans shall see how terrifying we can be!" As if to make a point, Prince Gumball growled at the girls, but ended up laughing.

Fionna and Cake plastered on smiles. Cake's tail twitched. "We're dead."

* * *

><p>Steven punched the door of the tree off its hinges. He stepped out, took out a horn-made-horn, and blew it loudly. The other Hyumans followed after him. They were dressed similarly to him, with dresses and garments and hats all made of animal fur. They 'oohed' in curiosity at the new surroundings. As they stepped out onto the grass, they began to scream.<p>

"AUGH!" "GREE BLAIDES!" "LIHHLE MOERS!"

Steven Strong turned to his people. "Fear nah muh friends! 'Just grass'!"

Celid, an Hyuman with a polar-bear hat, looked down at the green carpet beneath him. "Juh grah..."

The others murmured in curiosity.

* * *

><p>"These Candy Weapons are too adorable to be scary." Cake held up the weapon in her hand, a war-hammer made of licorice, decorated with gumballs.<p>

"Good news, Fionna!" Prince Gumball said as he approached the two girls in the Weaponry. "I managed to make all of our citizens and the kingdom itself horrifying!"

"But-how?" Fionna asked in shock, dropping the gummy malice in her hands.

Prince Gumball led them back into the courtyard.

Licorice hung from the trees, quivering in the wind. Chocolate coffins littered the ground, decorated with sprinkles. Bones made of peppermint smiled at them. The Candy citizens were dressed as werewolves, zombies, vampires, witches, ghosts, and so on.

It didn't look scary in the slightest.

"I dressed the kingdom and its citizens in terrifying costumes!"

"Starchie's a banshee." Starchie, dressed in a tattered grey dress and wig, exclaimed. "Ahhhhh."

"So adorable!" exclaimed Cake. "I just wanna give THEM candy!"

Fionna didn't have time to remind her sister that that would be cannibalism. At that exact moment, the sound of a horn rang out from the distance. Fionna span around to a blue gumdrop boy. "Quick! Show me your scary!"

The blue gumdrop boy growled.

Cake frowned. "That won't scare anybody."

"NO DUH!" cried Fionna. "HE-wait..." Fionna stared down at the cauldron in the gumdrop boy's hand, pouring smoke everywhere. "Prince Gumball, we're gonna need a million more of these things."

* * *

><p>The Hyumans approached the Candy Kingdom under the full moon's light. Fionna turned to the citizens. "Everyone to their positions!"<p>

The Hyumans walked through the gates.

'Fog' was everywhere. Figures moved in the trees. Silhouettes of skeletons shuffled until they disappeared. Snarls and growls came from the darkness. Howls of wind blew in their ears.

The Hyumans were whimpering, trembling, screaming, and crying in fear. "Moers!" "Leh leev!" "Eh hoo anerous!"

"Eh can'te hurt aus!" Steven told them. "'Just shadows!'"

"Oh, no!" gasped Fionna. "They've learned how to learn! Hide yourselves, citizens! I'll try to make Steven see reason!"

The Candy citizens, hiding behind trees and barrels and bushes, ran into the castle, via doors, secret passageways, and windows.

Cake, who was inside the castle, looked outside. "I think we need more fog." She stepped outside from the window silently and dashed over to a large bush. She pushes its leaves aside, showing a huge, Prince-Gumball-made cooler, the size of a car. She lifted the lid up, revealing dry ice filled to the brim. She picked up a special shovel, grabbed the cooler, formed a holder with her tail, and carefully picked it up, silently stretching over to the cauldrons.

Inside, a group of chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows were staring out from the windows.

"The S'more Squad never backs down from a stand-off!" A graham cracker cried. "C'mon, guys! Let's show these guys who they're messin' with!"

The group of sweets ran out of the castle.

At that exact moment, Cake tripped over a broken tree limb, and the cooler went flying, covering the S'more Squad in dry ice and darkness.

"Hyumans!" Fionna ran out close enough for the Hyumans to see her. "The Candy citizens and I are no harm to you! So please do-"

Suddenly, the S'more Squad pounced. All of them were steaming, with whisps of white floating around them. They ran at the Hyumans, snarling and clawing. They pounced onto the Hyuman's heads.

All of the Hyumans screamed in horror. Steven tried to calm them, but to no avail. They were terrified beyond console. "OUR HAAAS!"

"MY PEOPLE!" Fionna screamed.

Celid ripped off his smoking hat...

...revealing a head made of squid tentacles.

Fionna froze. "Wha..."

Another Hyuman ripped of her hat. Her scalp was covered in jellyfish stingers.

One by one, they all ripped off their hats, revealing tentacles, fins, flippers, and tails.

"...They're not human..."

The 'Hyumans' ran away from the Candy Kingdom in fear. Fionna's eyes darted left to right until they settled on a familiar pair of green eyes. "Steven..."

Steven froze in his tracks and glanced behind his shoulder at her. Looking back at his people for a moment, he turned around to face her.

"Steven..." Fionna whispered, "What are you?"

Steven stared at Fionna with wide eyes, curiosity replaced with apology.

Then, he ran.

Fionna stared after him, her eyes glittering in confusion.

Fionna turned around and saw the S'more Squad sputtering for air. "Are you guys ok?"

"We'll be fine if we stick together." a chocolate square said. "Later, Fionna." The four chocolate squares, two graham crackers, and three marshmallows stuck together, forming a giant s'more, and ran away.

Fionna watched them walk away, and turned to look back at where Steven had disappeared.

"Fifi!" Cake's pawsteps ran up to her. "Fifi! We did i-" Cake paused when she saw her sister's state. "Uh...are you ok?"

Fionna didn't look at her sister. "Cupcake, do you think he was human, or just another...whatever?"

"We're all whatevers, sister." Cupcake said, staring into the distance.

Fionna paused before stooping down and pulling out a chunk of caramel from beneath her. "Yeah, I guess we are." She took a bite of caramel. "...Sister."


	45. Mystery Plane

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

MYSTERY PLANE

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake look through the windows of the plane, watching the figure that was approaching them from across the plane's wing._

Fionna snored softly in her sleep, burrowed in her deep green sleeping bag like a butterfly in a cocoon. Two furry paws slipped behind her ears, tying a neon green bandana over her eyes.

Cake, as silent as the wind, reached behind her, grabbed her blow-horn, and pressed down on the button.

_HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!  
><em>

Fionna shot straight up, ready and alert for any signs of danger. It only took her a half-second to become aware that she couldn't see. Everything was black. Panicked, Fionna called out, "Cupcake?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIFI!" Cake screamed at the top of her lungs. She hovered in front of Fionna, tied to two dozen balloons-red, pink, yellow, green, orange, and purple. A bright blue ribbon was tied around her middle, like the bow of a birthday present.

"Cupcake?! Is that you?! I can't see anything!" Fionna cried, waving her arms around her like a madwoman.

Cake nodded. "Yeah, but that's only cos-"

"CUPCAKE! _I'M BLIND! __**I'M BLIND ON MY BIRTHDAY!" **_Fionna screamed, clawing and waving her arms so wildly she nearly scratched Cake's side.

"Fifi, calm down sweetiebelle. You're blind-_folded._" Cake said, flicking the green bandana.

Fionna's fingers grazed her fingers over the neon materiel. "Oh. Rad."

Cake put a paw over the bandana. "Keep it on. I gotta surprise."

* * *

><p>Ten minutes of blind dressing, three trips, and another dozen-and-a-half balloons later, Fionna and Cake were floating. Fionna, with no sight while floating through the air, began to grow motion-sick, but Cake instructed her to take short, quick breaths, and was fine. After about seven minutes, Fionna smelled cotton-candy trees, and knew that they had arrived in the Candy Kingdom. Soon, she felt and heard their balloons popping by contact with Cake's claws, and she could feel themselves sinking through the air.<p>

"Three...two...one...touchdown!" Fionna's feet hit the grass, and Cake fell next to her.

Cake ripped off the bandana, and Fionna squinted in the sun as Cake cried, "SURPRISE!"

Fionna gasped. "A GREEN blindfold!" She snatched the bandana from Cake, staring at in in awe. "I never would have guessed!"

Cake smirked. "Fifi, the bandana isn't the surprise. THIS IS!" Cake span Fionna ninety degrees around, the human girl's Mary Janes making swirls of grass and mud in the Earth.

A plane. An actual PLANE.

It was 68 feet high, made of different metals all sewn together. Magically sewn, by warlocks. It was more tall than it was wide, and its wings were about a third of an average plane's height. Circular windows lined the surface, bright in the morning sun. It sat at the front of a long runway, ready for flight. Fionna had only seen planes in pictures, and now, seeing it in person, she was amazed.

"YOU. GOT. ME. A. PLANE?!" Fionna screeched. She grabbed her feline sister, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug (she heard bones pop.) _**"I. LOVE. YOU. SO. MUCH!"**_

"Tha...plaine...izn't...tha...sooprize..." Cake gasped, her lungs failing her.

Fionna stopped hugging. "What?"

"We have to ride the plane to get _to _the surprise." Cake explained.

"Oh," still smiling, Fionna let go of her sister. "Almost as cool as getting an actual plane."

Cake chuckled. "I'm going to get our tickets." Cake began to head over to the airport building, which wasn't very big at all. There was one airport building for every plane, and now, the building was only about the size of a car-wash. It consisted of very little: a front desk, a metal scanner, a search station, and a shuttle.

Fionna watched as her sister walked away, until another figure caught her eye. A blue-skinned woman (with hair the same color as her skin) wearing a simple white blouse and slacks-a pilot uniform-was walking by, heading towards the airport building. The Pilot.

"Hey, Miss Pilot-Lady!" Fionna called. "It's my birthday!"

The pilot turned to Fionna, and the human saw that her right eye was nonexistent. "Oh, so you'll be riding my plane today? I'm looking forward to it."

And, cackling, the Pilot touched the plane, opened a hatch, and disappeared in its confines.

A robotic voice boomed from the airport building. _"Now boarding."_

"Fifi, come on!" Cake called, waving for her sister through the front doors.

* * *

><p>Fionna watched as the Candy Kingdom began to fly by, disappearing into clouds. A voice announced that <em>'You are now free to move about the cabin' <em>and passengers began to stand from their seats.

Their cabin was one of the coolest things Fionna had ever seen. There were three long columns of seats. The seats came in booths, with four to each one. Each booth had their own televisions, video game systems, blankets and pillows, and menus for food. You could even raise walls for privacy. And if you needed anything, all you had to do was press a button for the stewards/stewardesses. The cushions they sat on were red velvet, and the seats were framed with mahogany. Each booth was different, in size and color. They had a both next to a window. Overhead, a net of rope covered the entire ceiling, with luggage packed inside.

"This is the best birthday ever!" Fionna giggled-something she rarely did.

Cake chuckled. "I'm going to go get something to read." She stepped out of her booth and disappeared through the purple curtains at the end of the cabin.

Suddenly, the plane shook violently. Fionna, who had never been on a plane before, felt her heart jump and her breath hitch, even though it stopped after only a moment. Behind her, she heard a smack and a "I am so sorry!" Turning around, she saw a tall candy cane woman and a gray-haired candy corn mistress. Apparently, the candy cane woman had accidentally slapped the mistress with her head.

"It's alright." The Candy Corn Mistress chuckled. "Just don't let it happen again."

There was a beeping, and the Pilot's voice rang out. _"Attention all passengers. We're now heading higher into the atmosphere, and we will be getting a little turbine-rickety. Please fasten your seat-belts."_

Fionna buckled her seat-belt, and her eyebrows furrowed when the Pilot chuckled mysteriously.

"Found some brochures," Cake said, holding up three brochures for Ignoramus Island, Mount Murchin, and Vandill Valley as she approached their booth.

"Good," said Fionna, "Now find your seat-belt."

Just as Cake's seat-belt clicked, the plane shook violently once again. Behind them, Ms. Candy Cane accidentally hit Mistress Candy Corn repeatedly, hitting the back and front of her head over and over. "Sorry! Sorry! Oh, I am so sorry!"

The plane stopped shaking. Ms. Candy Cane looked ashamed with herself. "Mistress Candy Corn, I am SO, SO sorry."

This time, Mistress Candy Corn didn't reply.

Fionna looked out of the porthole and saw a flock of brightly-colored, dinosaur-like birds. "Cupcake, look! A flock of Atmokeets!"

"Ooh! I wanna see!" Ms. Candy Cane cried excitedly.

But just as she turned to look out of their porthole, she smacked Mistress Candy Corn in the back of the head.

Mistress Candy Corn snapped.

_**"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"**_

At that exact moment, the lights in the plane went out, and there was an odd, grinding sound.

And when the lights came back on, Ms. Candy Cane was nothing more than a pile of bones and organs.

Chaos broke out. Mistress Candy Corn screamed like a banshee, and ran from her seat, falling onto the floor. The fellow passengers in the cabin gawked, screamed, and jumped at the sight of the corpse, and panicked whispers filled the cabin.

"A dead bod?" Fionna asked, and poked Ms. Candy Cane's corpse. Her hat fell to the floor.

Someone must have pushed their booth's button, because a cream-puff stewardess approached the corpse, wearing a bright pink blazer and skirt.

Fionna was the first to speak. "Is she gonna be OK?"

The Stewardess gave her a perplexing look. "She's already dead."

"Hey, Fifi, this looks bad," Cake tugged on her sister's skirt. "Maybe we should I should just form a parachute and get us to the ground so we can walk to your surprise."

"Are you serious?" Fionna's face broke into a huge, excited grin, and she gripped her bunny-ears in glee. "IT'S A MURDER MYSTERY! _ON A PLANE! __**WE GOTTA SOLVE IT!"**_

Cake sighed, but smiled. "Oooooookay."

Fionna turned back to the stewardess, who was examining the corpse. "Any clues?"

The Stewardess paused before turning to the human girl. "I believe it was the woman who screamed 'I'm gonna kill you'."

Murmurs of agreement filled the cabin.

"N-no! NO!" Mistress Candy Corn sputtered. "It w-wasn't me! I-I-I swear!"

"Everyone! Calm yourselves!" Fionna yelled above the murmurs, and stood next to Mistress Candy Corn defensively. "It wasn't Mistress Candy Corn."

"Oh," Mistress Candy Corn smiled, "Thank you so much."

"No," Fionna shook her head, "It's never the first person you expect. Ever."

A little pink marshmallow spoke up. "So who do you think it is?"

In answer, Fionna turned back to the Mistress. "Mistress CC, do you have any enemies on this train?"

The Mistress paused, thinking for a long moment before answering, "I _do _have one enemy. And his-or-her name is..."

The lights went out.

There was a grinding sound.

The lights came back on.

Mistress Candy Corn was nothing more but bone and intestine, with a finger still pointed upward.

More gasps, screams, and whispered filled the cabin.

"See?" Fionna sighed. "The Mistress wasn't the Aviator."

"Aviator?" inquired Cake.

"Yeah, cause we're on a plane. All killers have creepy-cool names. But now we need to discover who the Mistress's enemy is. It could be anyone on this train." She said the last part to Cake.

Behind her, a green gumdrop girl, pointed out, "It could even be _you._"

Fionna glanced at Cake before turning to the gumdrop girl. "Yes, it _could. _Except _I _didn't do it."

"But we don't know that," the gumdrop girl pointed out.

"I bet you're framing me for taking suspicion off yourself." Fionna announced. "Are you Mistress Candy Corn's enemy, AND the Aviator?"

The gumdrop girl jumped. "What? NO! I didn't even KNOW her!"

Fionna pointed a finger at the gumdrop girl, turning to the other passengers. "Soupçonne le numéro un!"

The lights went out.

The grinding sound screeched.

The lights came back on.

And the gumdrop girl's corpse sat in its seat.

Fionna let out a gasp of surprise before turning to Cake. "Snake-snares! I really thought I had something there."

"Fifi, I know this is gonna sound weird," Cake started, "But what about the Pilot?"

Fionna paused. The Pilot, who always laughed mysteriously when she spoke. The Pilot, who always looked at Fionna like she was hiding something. The Pilot, who was, altogether, suspiciously mysterious.

"Nah, it's not her."

Cake frowned. "Oh. Why not?"

"Because she's mysteriously creepy. And that makes it too obvious."

"Whatevas." Cake sighed, and sat down in her seat. "I'mma reading some brochures." She lifted up the _Ignoramus Island _brochure, her face hidden behind its colorful cover.

"We're running out of suspects," Fionna thought aloud, "And we're running out of time. The Aviator could attack at any-"

"Attention, passengers."

The curtain at the end of the cabin pushed open, and the Pilot sped into view, dashing in on a pair of roller skates. She jumped in the air, clicked its heels, and landed perfectly. "Rad. Yeah, it's me. The Pilot." She paused, cackling a moment. "I couldn't help but over someone saying I was mysteriously creepy. But just so you know, I am not mysteriously creepy. I'm perfectly amazing."

She cackled again. Fionna and the Stewardess exchanged glances.

Just before she disappeared behind the curtain, the Pilot turned around. "Happy birthday, Fionna."

And she left.

Fionna leaned over to Cake. "Cupcake?"

"Yeah?" Cake looked up from her brochure, smiling.

"The Pilot was just here, and she was even more mysteriously creepy than before."

Cake frowned, and shook her head. "No way! She was perfectly amazing!"

Fionna stared at her sister a moment. "...Anyway, she still isn't the Aviator." She turned to the passengers, her hands behind her back. "The Aviator is right here among us. Isn't that right...Stewardess?"

The Stewardess turned around, expecting another flight attendant such as herself, but found no one and turned to Fionna once more. "You...think it was me?"

"When Ms. Candy Cane died, you diverted any suspicion to yourself by accusing Mistress Candy Corn. Then you murdered her, to protect your alibi."

"...Are you serious?"

"Fifi," Cake walked over and tugged her sister's sock. "I think you're waaaaaay off course."

"I believe I am way ON course."

Before Fionna even finished, the lights flickered off. And with the grinding noise, they flickered back on.

The stale white corpse of the Stewardess stared at Fionna, unmoving and lifeless.

Fionna cried out words of rage.

VERY SEVERE words of rage.

So severe that I don't think it appropriate to tell you these words.

As the Stewardess's corpse collapsed to the floor, Fionna turned to Cake. "My gut-feelings aren't getting me ANYWHERE! I can sense the Aviator laughing at us. We need HARD EVIDENCE."

* * *

><p>Fionna walked through another cabin, peering inside all of the booths and its passengers and luggage. She stopped at a solid-gold booth with silver seat-cushions. "Aha!"<p>

She reached inside a large basket, and pulled out its items. "Some bacon, chicken, and lettuce."

* * *

><p>Next, they went to the galley. They opened every cabinet and opened every freezer, until finally, Fionna reached inside a drawer and pulled out a slip of paper. "A list of passengers. From ANOTHER PLANE!"<p>

* * *

><p>They went to the lower-class cabin, digging through all of the luggage overhead. Fionna pulled out a thick, leather-bound book. "Cupcake! It's a glossary!"<p>

* * *

><p>More searching through the luggage, and Fionna held up some paper sheets. "Morse Code."<p>

* * *

><p>Even after gathering all of the evidence, setting up a dry-erase board, and covering it from head to toe in calculations, notes, and blueprints, Fionna was stumped. "This isn't making any sense!"<p>

"Me neither!" Cake sighed, waving her pointing-stick around like a fairy wand. "Maybe the Aviator is just too sly for us."

Fionna gasped. "THAT'S IT! Cupcake, gather everyone in the cargo hold, and I'll reveal the Aviator's identity."

* * *

><p>"You are all the remaining survivorssuspects," Fionna told the group of passengers as they stood in the cargo hold of the plane which turned out to be unpleasant and uncomfortable, as rats and water were everywhere, and all of the luggage made it a tight squeeze). "So that means tha one of you is the Aviator."

The passengers gasped. Murmurs of confusion floated in the air.

"Let me explain my conclusion," Fionna told them. "I saw Papaya Girl skimming through her clarinet sheet music." As she continued, Papaya Girl shook her head frantically. "Sheet music that made up a song very special to Lollipop Guy." Lollipop Guy jumped in surprise. "A song that reminds him of Ice Cream Girl." Ice Cream Girl blushed. "Before Mistress Candy Corn died, Doctor Sundae was in possession of a basket of bacon, chicken, and lettuce." Doctor Sundae froze. "And you, Papaya Girl, have lettuce leaves on your shoes!" Papaya Girl looked down at her lettuce-covered feet. "And you, Chocolate-Chip Girl." Chocolate-Chip Girl jumped as everyone turned to her. "You were in possession of this glossary." Fionna held up the book. "A glossary that just-so-happens to have these highlighted words:" she held up the book, calling out the words that were marked.

**Dispose-/disˈp****ōz/**** Verb 1: ****Get rid of by throwing away or giving or selling to someone else.**** 2: Kill, destroy. ****Synonyms ****arrange - order - set**

**All /ôl/ Predeterminer 1: Used to refer to the whole quantity or extent of a particular group or thing: "all the people I met"; "10% of all cars sold". Adverb: Used for emphasis. Noun: The whole of one's possessions, energy, or interest: "giving their all for what they believed". Synonyms quite - entirely - completely - wholly - altogether**

**Pas·sen·gers /ˈpasinjər/ Noun: Travelers on a public or private conveyance other than the driver, pilot, or crew. Synonyms: travelers - voyagers- fare**

The passengers gasped.

"But the true Aviator is someone who no one would have suspected," Fionna grinned, excited to finally reveal the culprit. "The real Aviator is..."

The lights went out, and Fionna's voice was drowned out by a terrible, all-too-familar grinding noise.

She didn't even have to look at the passengers to know that they were all dead, only piles of bones and intestines. "Cupcake, if it wasn't me, and it wasn't you, and all of the passengers are dead, who was the Aviator?"

"There's still the Pilot," offered Cake.

"Oh, yeah..." Fionna paused for a long moment. "...It was her."

Cake gave a weak cheer. "Wohoo! You solved it!"

"I knew it was her all along," Fionna half-declared, half-teased. "Because she's mysteriously creepy."

Cake's tail puffed out in sour disbelief. "WHAT? I WAS TELLING YOU THAT THIS WHOLE TIME!" She turned her back to her sister, crossing her furry arms over her puffed-out chest, "The nerve you have! Hmph!"

"I know," Fionna ruffled her sister's ears, "I couldn't have done it without ya!" Once again, Fionna pulled her sister into a bone-crushing hug. "We make good sleuths!"

Fionna was so focused on hugging her sister as hard as possible that she didn't even notice the lights flickering, or the soft grinding noise. As she began to hug her sister, however, she did notice that her fur felt smooth, but gritty.

Fionna opened her eyes, and let out a scream so shrill and loud that her ears rang for a moment.

Cake. Cake, who had been smiling and laughing just seconds ago, now lay in a crumpled heap on the ground, no fur, no skin, no eyes, and no tail. She was nothing more but brittle bones and sloppy intestines.

Fionna felt pressure behind her eyes. Her nose began to feel fuzzy, and her throat burned like crazy. Fionna, the greatest heroine in Aaa and probably the most tomboyish girl for miles around, was crying. Not that she had never cried before. She had cried plenty of times before. In fact, people used to call her a crybaby before she made it her duty to protect all of Aaa. But now, Cake...her sister...was DEAD. It reminded her of when Julia and Michael, her and Cake's parents, had died. She cried so hard that she was in not only mental pain, but physical pain. Cake had left a few months prior, saying that she was going to explore the world. You wouldn't have guessed it, but Cake and Fionna hadn't gotten along as children. Cake had returned home for the funeral (it took a while, as she had to escape from some crazy ice-witch who would later be known as the Ice Queen) but she made it. And she had approached Fionna, took her hand, smiled, and said, "It's alright, Fifi. Cupcake's gotcha." And ever since, they had been thick as thieves, always calling each other 'Fifi' and 'Cupcake.'

And now, with Cake dead and gone, Fionna felt like she was the only person in the world.

Fionna took her sister's corpse in her arms, threw her head back, and screamed, her throat tearing and her eyes spilling out tears, _**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!"  
><strong>_

Someone cackled.

Fionna span around, tears splattering the floor, to see the Pilot smiling evilly at her.

Fionna had never felt such rage. She was even more furious than the time she thought Marshall Lee killed Cake. She felt like she was going to erupt like a fiery volcano. _**"HOW COULD YOU MURDER ALL THESE PEOPLE?! HOW COULD YOU MURDER **_**CUPCAKE?! **_**ON MY BIRTHDAY!" **_That last part sounded a tad bit conceited, but Fionna was too enraged to care.

"Don't feel so bad," the Pilot cooed. "I got you a birthday present." the Pilot held up a thick, razor-sharp, curved blade. Fionna knew all too good that it wasn't for her to take.

Fionna looked down at Cake's corpse and set it down gingerly. She reached into her backpack, ripped out her ruby sword, and let out a fierce battle cry full of agony and rage.

The Pilot dashed away on her roller skates. And Fionna followed.

They came to the lower-class level of the plane. The Pilot was already at the opposite exit by the time Fionna stepped through the curtain. The Pilot grabbed an abandoned food cart and pushed it so hard that it came flying down the aisle, straight for Fionna. The human girl acted quickly. She took her ruby sword and sliced it down the middle with so much force that it split in half. Food splayed everywhere.

Fionna ran up to the middle-class level, where Fionna and...Cake had sat earlier. The Pilot, already skating ten feet away, acted quickly. She sliced the net of rope on the ceiling. A landslide of luggage rained down on them. Fionna didn't waste time. She sliced through the luggage, items raining down on the floor, chasing after the Pilot like a madwoman.

When they reached the top level, the first-class level, the Pilot didn't do anything to slow her down. She sped right into the cockpit of the plane. She didn't even have time to lock the door before Fionna burst in, kicked her square in the chest, and sent her flying.

The Pilot stood up again quickly. She and Fionna slashed their blades at each other. Or rather, Fionna slashed while the Pilot blocked her attacks. Fionna missed the Pilot and accidentally impaled the controls of the plane. Sparks flew everywhere, but whatever controls Fionna hit weren't important at the time, because the plane only shook slightly.

"MY BIRTHDAY WISH IS REVENGE!" Fionna cried as she hit the Pilot's blade with her ruby sword, sending it flying straight into the wall. Fionna raised her sword above the head, ready to finish it. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!"

"WAIT, NO!"

Fionna hesitated, but she didn't know why. The Pilot began to mold and waver. Fionna was just about to bring down her sword, as she thought the Pilot was using some kind of magic to escape, but the Pilot stopped molding, instead showing her true form:

CAKE?!

Fionna was so overcome with shock and joy (and a little pinch of anger because Cake had made her feel so horrible) that she chucked her sword at the plane's controls. "YOU'RE ALIVE!" She grabbed her breathing, living, blue-white-and-gray-covered sister. She pulled back to look at her, and Cake licked off all the color from her fur, which appeared to be made out of icing. "YOU WERE THE PILOT THE WHOLE TIME?!"

**"Yep!"** Cake nodded. _"_**You were so busy with the murder that you never even noticed."**

_Cake looked over her Ignoramus Island brochure, hearing and seeing Fionna talking to herself about the Aviator and the suspects. She molded her face so that it hung onto her body with only a cord. She led her face behind the curtain, where two candy woman quickly covered her in icing so expertly that her clothes and skin looked completely real. Then she stepped out from the curtains. "Attention, passengers..."_

**"The corpses were the hardest part."**

_Ms. Candy Cane, alive and not dead, moved like lightning. She opened the hatch beneath her feet, taking the faux corpse of herself from TreeTrunks. She handed it to Mistress Candy Corn and leaped down the hatch. Mistress Candy Corn finished setting up the fake corpse just as the lights came back on. She screamed._

"It was all part of your birthday present." Cake finished.

"So nobody was murdered?" clarified Fionna.

"Nope." Cake shook her head. "Unless you count the plane's controls." She pointed at the control panel, which had caught fire.

They had just started laughing when a orange light began to flash and the plane began to shake. Softly at first, then roughly, then madly.

And then they were falling from the sky.

Fionna and Cake screamed like banshees as their stomachs were thrown into their spines and they nearly flew off their feet. Through the giant glass shield, the clouds disappeared as they dived nose-first for the Earth. The ground grew closer and closer, as if they were zooming in on a digital map.

They braced for fatal impact.

But it never came.

Instead, they bounced on their feet for a moment. They could roughly make out the sounds of muffled cheering. When they opened their eyes, the entire glass shield was covered in thick red...Jell-O?

Fionna and Cake's screaming grew softer and softer. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa aaaaaaand we're OK."

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the plane had fallen right into Jellaine, the 80-feet wide mass of walking Jell-O. When Fionna and Cake stepped out through the emergency hat, all of Fionna's friends, from the candy citizens to the roughhousing women, screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIONNA!"<p>

"...tooooo youuuu!" Everyone finished. The cake, which was a life-sized sculpture of Fionna holding up her ruby sword as she stood on a pile of gold and jewels, was immediately cut. It was Fionna's favorite, red velvet with a hazelnut cream filling. Fionna turned to Cake as she picked up her fork, "This is the best birthday ever. Thanks, Cupcake."

"No problem, Fifi," Cake said, and Fionna grinned inside and out. "We all agree you deserve it for being a great heroine."

Fionna smiled as she cut off a chunk of cake. "I think my favorite part was when we landed on Jellaine. That must have taken forever to plan."

"Hm? Oh, no, that was a total accident," Cake said through a mouthful of red velvet and hazelnut cream. "That was a total accident. We could have sworn that we filled the plane with enough gas until we landed."

Fionna stopped chewing, and glanced behind her at a long runway (for the plane) she hadn't noticed before. "But I thought the plane crashed because we hacked the controls?"

Cake shook her head, "Prince Gumball was doing the real controls on a remote." She pointed at Prince Gumball, who still had the remote controller in his hands. "He says we ran out of gas while we were up there."

Fionna looked back at the plane, which was still stuck in Jellaine. If the plane wasn't supposed to crash, why did it? Who or what caused the fuel to disappear? What were the odds that she and Cake landed in Jellaine just in time?

There are some mysteries in this world we may never solve.

TRIVIA

There are multiple clues throughout the episode that hint at the truth:

1. The Pilot enters the cabin to wish Fionna "Happy birthday"; however, the Pilot should not have known Fionna's name.

2. Each time a passenger is murdered, the Candy People only screamed and gasped, but in "Slumber Party Panic," candy people would explode.

3. Cake is only in the same room as the Pilot once: when Cake's face is hidden behind the brochure

4. The Pilot says that he heard someone say she was mysteriously creepy, but Fionna only told Cake.

5. When the Pilot enters the passenger car on roller-blades, she states that she's "perfectly amazing." Once he leaves, Fionna disagrees, but Cake hastily replies, "No way! She was perfectly amazing!"


	46. Go With Me

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Marshal Lee**—is a counterpart of Marceline. He has the same abilities as Marceline. Marshall Lee has pointy ears and light blue skin. His hair is shorter than Marceline's but he has a matching permanent bite mark. He initially wore a grey plaid shirt, but now wears a red and black plaid shirt. He also wears dark blue jeans, and brownish-white sneakers. His outfits differ in the episodes, though, like Prince Gumball. Though Marceline has circle-shaped eyes, his eyes are rectangular. Unlike Marceline's forked, snake-like tongue, Marshall Lee's tongue is rounded. Marshall Lee is a wild rock star. Centuries of wandering the Land of Aaa have made him a fearless daredevil. He and Marceline both have regular electric bass guitars.

GO WITH ME

_Title Card_

_Fionna looks up at Prince Gumball as he sits before his window longingly._

Fionna and Cake sat on their checkered blanket, watching the sun sink into the horizon. Cake smiled and turned to her sister as she peeled off an orange. "Hey, it's Couples Only movie night. We're watching Cold Spirits. Who are you bringing?"

Fionna thought hard for a moment before shrugging. "I'm not sure. Who're you bringing?"

"My boyfriend, duh," Cake smirked, her furry forehead crinkled in amusement.

"Oh." Fionna paused before something small to her left caught her eye. She turned and saw a little slug crawling over their blanket. Smiling, she picked it up. "I'll take this snail."

Cake chuckled and shook her head. "It's COUPLES' ONLY. You gotta take someone you can smooch."

Fionna hesitated, looking down at her feet. "I don't really want to BE smooched..."

"You don't HAVE to smooch. You just have to bring someone you CAN smooch."

Fionna looked down at the slug. When she bent down with her lips puckers, it slug-smacked her and disappeared into thin air. Fionna sighed and looked down at an apple. Smiling, she said, "I'll take this apple!" She reached into her pack, pulled out a marker, drew a sloppy face on the apple, and kissed it.

Cake sighed. "Fifi, put the apple down. It's time I explain a few things about couples to you.

* * *

><p>"So do you know who you're gonna call?" Cake asked an hour later.<p>

Fionna nodded as she turned the dial on her transceiver, watching as **PG **showed up on the little screen. "Yeah. I'm taking a guy I don't have to smooch."

She put the headphones over her ears, fixing the little microphone in front of her mouth.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi, Prince Gumball. I was wondering if you'd want to go to Couples' Only movie night with me."

_"Hm. Sounds romantic."_

"W-NO! Nonononono! I was just...uh-" Fionna's face went rosy pink.

_"I'd really like to, Fionna, but I have to practice for the Egg-Tossing Championship at Battle Kingdom tomorrow."_

"But-"

_"Au revoir, Fionna."_

The prince hung up.

Fionna glowered at the ground. "He can't go."

"Yeah, he can!" Cake took the transceiver, fitting it over her pointed ears. "We just need him to realize that he needs to focus on his love life more than his princely duties."

"WE DON'T HAVE A LOV-"

"I'm calling Marshall Lee."

Fionna froze in surprise and confusion. "But I thought you were-"

"Terrified?" Cake finished. "Yeah, I was for a while. But after reading _The Afterglow Chronicles, _I've discovered that I just don't understand Marshall Lee.

_"Alo?"_

"How-dee-doodle, it's Cake. Listen, we need to make Prince Gumball jealous so he'll go with Fionna to Couples' Only movie night."

No reply.

"Marshall Lee?"

_HISSSSS!_

Cake screamed like a madwoman, her back arching, as Marshall Lee hissed from behind her.

Fionna chuckled. She had watched as Marshall Lee crawled from underneath the floorboards, over to Cake, and hissed at her like a snake. "So you'll help us, right?"

"Yeah, I'll help." Marshall Lee said, drifting over to sit next to Fionna. He looked different from the last time Fionna'd seen him. Half his head was shaven off, like he'd taken an electric razor and sheared it off. He wore a loose gray tank and ripped black jeans, as well as deep purple sneakers. "I'll be hilarious."

* * *

><p>"OK, here's the plane," Cake whispered as they sat at the base of Prince Gumball's tower. The night was a deep purple, the half-moon orange overhead. "Fionna says something, and you both start laughing WAY LOUD. Then Gumball-" she pointed up at the window, where Prince Gumball's shadow could be seen moving. "-Gets jealous of you." She pointed at Marshall Lee. "Thus awakening his true love for Fifi!"<p>

Cake stepped behind a nearby cotton candy tree.

Fionna turned to Marshall Lee. "Funny. Something funny...uh...whaddup?"

Marshall Lee burst into laughter. It sounded ninety-percent fake, but she could make out a glimmer of actual mirth.

"Upsy-Daisey?"

More laughter.

"Flapjacks?"

Marshall Lee laughed as loud as he could.

"Ahem."

Marshall Lee's laughter silenced as they lookd up. Prince Gumball was smiling down at them. In the dull light, Fionna could make out a blue tuxedo he was wearing. "Hello, Fionna." He frowned heavily when he turned to Marshall Lee. "Hey, _Marshall Lee._"

"Hellooooooooo, Bubba." Marshall Lee sang, twiddling his fingers at the candy prince.

Prince Gumball grunted, which Fionna guessed was guy-language for 'whatever.' "So, what's so funny, Fionna?"

Fionna felt like someone, somewhere, was laughing at her. She really should have put more thought into what she said. "It's...uh...it's a...um...thing."

Prince Gumball stared at her a moment, confusion on his face. "Alright...Well, hey, keep it down, I gotta practice my egg-tossing." He turned away, mumbling something under his breath about 'jerks' and 'womanizers.'

"Excellent work!" Cake appeared before them with one stretched stride. "Time for phase two in Operation: Fioball. Wait here." Giggling, Cake fluttered away.

Marshall Lee sighed. "Hey, listen, Fionna, I know Cake's your sister and all, but if you really want Bubba to go out with you, you're going to have to stop listening to the cat and start listening to an actual guy."

"But Cupcake said phase two is going to be a smashdown."

Marshall Lee scoffed and tossed his head, flinging his half-bangs out of his eyes. "How's Cake going to know what a guy wants?"

Fionna bit her lip, brushing her blond bangs out of her green-blue eyes. "Yeah, I guess you do have a point."

"Excellent." Marshall Lee began to float, his face in a deep, thoughtful frown. "What we need now is something...cool. Guys love cool more than anything. Cool-cool-cool. If you can show Bubba that you're cool, he'll definitely wanna go to the movies with you."

Fionna's cheeks went orange-pink. "You said cool so much, it sounds all weird now. Keeeeeeeewl."

Fionna felt a hand on her shoulder. Surprised, she turned around and saw Marshall Lee smiling at her. "So what are some cool things you like to do?"

"I usually go hunt down monsters with Cupcake and slay them with my ruby sword. Either that, or I go hunting for treasure!" Fionna cut her sentence off, tugging on her hair in embarrassment. "But dudes just think that's weird."

"Nah-nah," Marshall Lee assured her. "That's totally cool. You just gotta do a bit of that." Without another word, Marshall Lee floated past.

Fionna was about to follow him when Cake's words of "Where are ya goin'?" sounded off behind her. Cake was holding a bundle of what looked like red-and-orange clothes and a harp. She held up the items. "Check it out!"

Fionna's blond eyebrows furrowed. "What is that stuff?"

"It's a duchess gown!"

Fionna felt like her stomach gagged. She HATED dresses, especially gowns.

"Guys love seeing their lady in a gown! Trust me!" Cake dragged her sister inside a nearby wash-house.

* * *

><p>Needless to say, Fionna despised the duchess gown.<p>

It was red, gold, and orange, as she'd predicted. The gown consisted of a simple orange dress covered in a red dress that split all the way down the front and had two long, loose sleeves that almost went past her wrists. Gold threads wound up the back of the orange dress, and the red outer-dress was covered in exquisite gold designs. The dress covered her Mary Janes, and she had a halo of holly on her head. Cake had tried to pry off her bunny-hat, but Fionna had kept it on. The harp was heavier than she thought, but she was fine.

"Fionna!"

Marshall Lee floated in front of her, confusion and surprise (and maybe a bit of awe?) on his face. "What are you wearing? You look...so..."

"AMAZING!" Cake finished for him. She had molded herself into a love seat, with her legs as the pegs and her body as the cushions.

"Well, I guess, but it's going to mess up the plan," Marshall Lee frowned.

"What choo talkin' bout?"

"Uh, well..." Fionna cleared her throat awkwardly, pricking at her harp. "I was just thinking, maybe, you know, we ought to give Marshall Lee's idea a shot, too."

Marshall Lee smiled widely, fangs glinting, but Cake looked appalled. _"His _idea?" She seethed when Marshall Lee stuck his tongue out at her. "What's wrong with _my _idea?"

Nothing else could be said. At that moment, a sound rang throughout the hallway. Prince Gumball's humming. Cake molded back into position as Marshall Lee quickly formed into a bat, flying up to hide in the rafters. Fionna was alone.

Prince Gumball rounded the corner. As Fionna had thought, he was wearing a bright blue tuxedo, complete with a bow tie, jacket, vest, slacks, and what looked like tap shoes. When he saw Fionna, he smiled widely. "Oh, hey, Fionna, did you ever find some-?" He cut off short. His eyes went wide as he stared at Fionna a moment, and when he spoke, he was smiling, with a hint of laughter in his voice. "What are you wearing?" He flicked a holly leaf on her halo.

"This is my...duchess gown."

Fionna felt beads of sweat begin to build beneath her skin. She risked a glance over at Cake. Cake knew she needed help, and the mold of a harp appeared in her fur.

"This is my..._duuuuuuchess goooooown~!" _Fionna sang, her cheeks blushing pink as she played a few soft notes on her harp. She was actually pretty good.

Prince Gumball burst into laughter. Fionna hesitated, wondering if he was laughing to offend her or to compliment her.

She heard a small 'psst' sound. Looking up, she saw Marshall Lee, as a bat, hiding in a space between the rafters. He made a few movements with his hands and arms. It took Fionna a moment before realizing he was making SWORD movements.

"So..." Fionna hesitated, setting down her harp. Prince Gumball was all ears.

Fionna reached into her bunny hat and took out her retractable ruby sword. It sprung to full length in her hands, and with a war cry, she raised it above her head.

Prince Gumball screamed.

* * *

><p>Four guards, two doors, and one great big misunderstanding later, Fionna was tossed stomach-first onto the sweet-smelling ground. She groaned as she turned over, sitting up. Dirt caked the front of her dress, and her halo was broken, holly and berries scattered everywhere. Her harp had plucked a few strings, too. A little line of red was flicked across her wrist.<p>

Cake hopped out of Fionna's hat, groaning in dizziness as she grew to normal size. Bat-Marshall Lee swooped over and landed next to Fionna. In just a second, he had morphed into his regular form, frowning in concern. "That gown was a bad idea."

Every hair on Cake's body twitched in unison. "Bad id-" She sprung to her paws, ears sharp and muzzle scrunch. "BAD IDEA? Fifi, can you believe the nerve of this guy?"

Fionna scratched the back of her neck through the fabric of her hat. "I...suppose the gown did feel a little...goofy."

At first, Cake's tail just puffed out like a gigantic feather. Then, scowling, she clenched her paws into fists and spat, "Well, fine! You can just give it back, then."

Fionna began to pull the dress over her head, her voice muffled as she said, "I'm sorry."

"Good luck getting into that movie without my help," Cake sniffed. She took the filthy gown, the broken halo, and the demolished harp before stretching away, out of sight.

"What a drama-queen," Marshall Lee sighed, running his hand through the buzzed-off half of his head.

Fionna shook her head. "Nah, she just needs some pasta."

"Well, alright. I've got another idea." Marshall Lee smirked.

"What is it?"

"The only thing guys love more than cool is MANLY. Guys want girls who can make their blood pound and their muscles scream. They need to...to..._**BE ATTACKED BY MONSTERS!"**_

Fionna paused. "Metaphorically?"

Marshall Lee chuckled once and held out a hand. Fionna took it. Despite what _The Afterglow Chronicles _said about vampires being really warm and rigid, Marshall Lee's touch was cool and smooth. He helped Fionna to her feet and said, "I'll show you what guys like. Hold on tight."

He pulled Fionna against him, wrapping her left arm around his middle, wrapping the other around his shoulder. His tank-top smelled like must and mist, and despite his lanky appearance, Fionna could feel some muscles in his pale arms. Fionna blushed. Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee were the only two guys in Aaa who could make her blush. Sure, she blushed when she was embarrassed and stuff, but on boy-level, there was just their royal highnesses.

"Ready?" Marshall Lee asked.

"Urm..." Fionna held on tighter, putting her Mary Janes over his converse. "Yeah...?"

With a 'wahoo!', Marshall Lee took them to the skies.

* * *

><p>When they began to land, it was in the middle of a pack of trolls. Ten-foot tall, weapon-bearing trolls. When they saw them, they let out horrible howls and ran. Trolls HATED vampires. Marshall Lee let out a battle cry, and looked at Fionna expectantly. Fionna let out a battle cry of her own.<p>

They ran after the trolls. When they got in the middle of the pack, Marshall Lee grabbed Fionna and tossed her onto the leading troll before jumping onto the one next to it. They drove the trolls all the way back to the Candy Kingdom.

* * *

><p>"Quietly...quietly..." Marshall Lee whispered as he ushered the last troll through the doorway. He silently closed the door. "Alright. This shouldn't take long." Morphing into a bat, he turned to Fionna. "Don't mess this up, OK?"<p>

Fionna chuckled and waved him goodbye as he went to hide in the rafters once more. "Alright."

At that exact moment, Prince Gumball burst through his bedroom door, screaming. His white-and-pink-polka-dotted pajamas were torn in some places, and his top button was broken. He scurried to push the door close behind him, fighting against the snarling, punching trolls. Panting, he turned to Fionna. "Oh, Fionna! I'm so glad you're here! There are TROLLS in my room!"

"Yeah, I know! I put them there! Pretty manly, huh?"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Fionna was being dragged out of the castle by the Banana Guards. They let her go and walked back to the castle gates, where Prince Gumball was looking at Fionna with a sad stare. "I'm sorry, Fionna. But until you stop acting like a maniac, you are forbidden from entering the Candy Kingdom. Good night."<p>

The prince walked back inside, the licorice gates closing shut behind him.

Fionna groaned and smacked let her head rest on the dirt.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand, Marshall Lee," Fionna sighed as he and the Vampire King sat in the Attic of the Treehouse. It was cool up there, and nothing changed since Fionna and Cake had last been there, when Cake's imagination went out of control. Fionna closed her eyes heavily. "I guess he just doesn't like me the way I like him."<p>

Something cool and slender pressed her lips. She opened her eyes to see Marshall Lee pressing his finger against her mouth. "No more talk like that. I mean, come on, a bloke like Bubba? You'd be bored within a day." He flashed Fionna a fanged smile. "And _I, _for one, think you're pretty awesome."

He leaned in and kissed Fionna on the cheek. Fionna felt her cheeks flame. When he pulled back, the spot where he kissed her skin was still cool. Marshall Lee stepped over to the exit of the Attic and turned to her. "Sorry it didn't work pout with Bubba. Later." He flew out of the Attic, flying away like a cloud in the wind.

"Marshall Lee." Realization hit Fionna like a train, making her eyes sparkle. "It's been Marshall Lee all along."

"Hey, Fifi."

Fionna looked down at the hole in the floorboard. Cake was frowning up at her, her tail molded to carry a plate of steaming chedder-and-chicken fettuccine. "I was wonderin' when you were gonna get back. Sorry for acting like a prissy. I got you some pasta." She held out the plate, and handed Fionna a fork.

Fionna took both. "Hey, Cupcake, I really need your help."

Cake glowed. "'Bout time."

* * *

><p>Marshall Lee strummed the cords on his bass as he floated around his living room.<p>

He felt guilty. He _knew _Bubba would be terrified of the things he told Fionna to do. He meant it as a playful joke, but seeing Fionna so sad and heavy-hearted made him feel like a brute. But why would Fionna like a guy like Bubba? He was so proper and giggly and..._pink._

But Bubba was an easy forgiver. The whole ordeal would probably be history by tomorrow.

Marshall Lee connected his bass into his stereo system. He raised his hands, ready to play a song, when something else beat him to it.

A...harp?

Marshall Lee turned towards the window, where the song seemed to be coming from. Curious and confused, he floated over and looked through the grayed glass. "Ah jeez..."

Fionna was in her duchess gown once again. It had been cleaned, and her halo had been repaired, but most importantly, her harp had been fixed. She was played a nice, soft tune on it. Marshall Lee had to admit, she was pretty good at the harp. Cake stood a few feet behind Fionna, glowing. As Fionna played, she said in a sing-song voice,

_"Marshall Lee,_

_Will you go to the movies with me?"_

Marshall Lee groaned and opened the door. "Fionna, we need to talk."

Fionna and Cake walked inside. Fionna turned to Marshall Lee.

_"Good evening, my dear_

_Your lady is here."_

Marshall Lee choked down yet another groan. Crossing his arms, he gave the human girl a stern look. "Fionna, you really do NOT want to go down that road with me."

"With you, dear sir, I would travel down any road," Fionna smiled, "Especially if that road led to Couples' Only movie night."

Marshall Lee put on a sly smirk. Time for drastic measures. "Is that so?" He floated a few feet away. "Who would want to go to the movies with..._**THIS?!"**_

He exploded into inky blackness. Sticky, slimy tentacles shot out everywhere, pouring through the doorways and windows. His eyes were nothing bit red pits, and his teeth looked like needles. With one tentacle, he picked up a dazed Fionna and held her up to his horrendous face. _**"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH ME **__**NOW?"**_

Fionna beamed. "How do you like your popcorn?"

Marshall Lee let out a thundering groan, shrinking his body back to normal form, never letting go of the human girl. "You are seriously starting to agitate me."

"Well, then let's do something cool. Like go to the movies!"

Marshall Lee tossed Fionna onto the rug. He sat down next to her, pinning her arms to the floor in case she tried anything else. "Listen, Fionna. I like you, I do, but I do NOT want to go to the movies with you, and you do NOT want to go to the movies with me."

Fionna understood. Sighing, she sat up, pulling her arms from the vampire's grip.

Marshall Lee felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, Fionna. But you just do NOT want a relationship with a dude like me."

Fionna's eyes widened and her jaw parted. "Relation-?! Dude, I just wanna go to the movies!" She sighed. "But everyone hates me, apparently."

Marshall lee raised a raven eyebrow. "Wait. You DON'T want me to be your boyfriend?"

Fionna jumped to her feet. "Oh, GLOB no! MOVIES!"

"If you weren't looking for a boyfriend, why were you romancin' it up with Bubba all day?"

"Cupcake said that Couples' Only nights have special smooching requirements and emotional commitment and whatever else."

Cake went pink as she hit behind the couch. "I didn't really say all that..._I n't ow ut ur lkin ut..."_

"Of course I'll go to the movies with you!" Marshall Lee paused when he heard how excited he was. "As friends."

"OF COURSE AS FRIENDS!" Fionna cheered.

"Cool. But no Frenching."

"Yeah, alri-wait, _**WHAT?!**_"

* * *

><p>Marshall Lee and Fionna laughed as they watched the movie, sitting on a line of plane seats. Ten other couples surrounded them, giggling and flirting. Fionna bubbled with joy. "I can't believe I'm finally here!"<p>

The main title appeared on the screen. The screen changed to a scene of a man and woman standing in front of a train.

_"Mon amour, I moust go."_

_"Mon cher, take me wiz you."_

_"But my père, he will be furiuz."_

_"Your père cannot deztroi our love."_

_"Je t'aime."_

_"Je t'aime aussi."_

Fionna sighed in awe. "...Yeeeeeeah, this movie blows." She turned to Marshall Lee. "Wanna go hunt down some trolls?"

"You know it!" Laughing, Marshall Lee wrapped his arms around Fionna as she wrapped her arms around him. They took to the skies, their laughter washing all over the Land of Aaa...

TRIVIA

This episode reveals that Prince Gumball's first name is Bubba.

According to Fionna, when Cake is angry, she eats pasta to calm down. This is proven later in the episode.


	47. Stomach of the Monster

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Beast-a major monster in "Belly of the Monster_". _The beast is a curcular shaped giant with pink-tinged skin and slight blond hair on her head. Her eyes are pink with red dots for pupils. Her limbs are thick, and contain four fingers and four toes on each hand and foot, respectively.

Bunnies-special rabbits that live in the Land of Aaa. The Bunnies resemble stuffed animals in varying colors with symbols on their bellies. Each bunny has a different random symbol, much like the cutie marks from My Little Pony

Party Patty-the leader of the Bunnies in "Belly of the Monster". She is taller than the other Bunnies of her tribe and is the only one who wears clothing and shoes. Patty is much more human-like than the other Bunnies. It's unknown if she is just a special mutated Bunny, or a member of a different species entirely. She has light brown skin and big brown eyes, as well as short brown hair. She wears a light green blouse, a yellow undershirt, as well as a knee-length pleated navy skirt. She also wears brown flats and carries a brown satchel. She is mysterious and serene, and protects her tribe with her life.

Tubby-the smartest and smallest of all the Bunnies. Tubby is a small Bunny with large eyes. Tubby has dark brown skin and light brown eyes and belly, as well as curly brown hair. She also has a picture of a ham on her belly.

STOMACH OF THE MONSTER

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake look down the throat of the Monster, their eyes wide and shocked..._

Fionna and Cake didn't awake to the sounds of the birds, or the grasshoppers, or their makeshift wind-chimes outside their window.

They awoke to their house quaking around them, with the wood splintering and the nails snapping.

Fionna groggily sat up, her eyes circled with purple. "Cupcake," she rasped, "What's going on?"

"I dunno..." Cake mewled as she stretched her back in her bed. "Maybe it's an earthquake?"

At that moment, the entire roof of the Treehouse snapped away, showering them in leaves, wood chunks, and glass. A gigantic, sixty-foot tall, pink monster was standing before them, snarling.

Both girls stared. "Dang it."

The Monster reached into the Treehouse and grabbed them with one meaty hand. Then the Monster tossed them into her mouth.

Darkness engulfed them. The air became thick, damp, and hot. They fell for a good five seconds before hitting the tongue of the Monster's mouth. While Fionna easily stood, Cake took about a half-minute before she could stand without slipping over a taste-bud. When she regained her balance, Fionna said, "We gotta get out of here!"

A horrible, piercing scream interrupted anything else she was going to say. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fionna gasped. "There's someone in here with us! Come on, Cupcake, we gotta save them!" Fionna pointed towards the darkness at the end of the mouth. The throat.

Cake shook her head vigorously. "Nuh-uh. I already got swallowed by a Monster. There is NO WAY-"

She cut off in a yelp as Fionna grabbed her by her neck fur and chucked her down the throat before following closely behind, screaming in exhilaration.

Now, just so you know, a Monster's anatomy very much differs from ours. The throat led to a little organ (known as a 'doracnic', that basically just led as a transfer for food to the stomach,) which led to the stomach, which either led to the lungs or the digestive track (here were two paths), and the lung path led to the heart. When Fionna and Cake hit the doracnic, Fionna landed on what seemed to be a flat rock. Cake fell into a puddle of who-knows-what.

Cake hissed, her back arching and her tail frizzing.

Fionna chuckled. Just then, a terrified, sobbing scream sliced through the air. "Let's go!"

They followed the screams. When they reached the source, it ended up being a neon green Bunny with a tea cup on its flank. It was sobbing hysterically, screaming in anguish. Fionna's heart twang with pity. The poor thing must have been here for days.

"It's OK, we're here to save you," Fionna comforted the small Bunny while Cake wiped her fur clean of who-knows-what.

The Bunny sniffed. "Did you bring more?"

Fionna and Cake spoke in unison. "More what?"

"CONFETTI!"

A record could almost be heard scratching.

"Say what?" Cake questioned.

The Bunny sobbed more. "I RAN OUT OF CONFETTI AND NOW THE PARTY WILL BE RUINED!"

"Party-?" Fionna picked up the Bunny. "I dunno if you landed on your head, or what, but we need to get you out of-"

They were cut off by a loud, vibrating, dubstep tune pounding around them, making the puddles of you-know-what waver. The Bunny gasped, its anguished face replaced with glee. "THE PARTY!" she bounded away, accidentally kicking Fionna in the face.

Fionna and Cake chased after it. The other end of the doracnic began to pound with light. When they reached the other side, they gasped.

The entire stomach had been transformed into some kind of dance-club. The floor was made out of flashing tiles. Lights from nowhere flashed bright colors. TV screens were everywhere, showing videos of dancing Bunnies or discos. A gigantic disco, the size of a troll, hung over head. A stage for karaoke stood to the far end. A small bar selling carrot energy drinks was to the right. Bunnies, different sizes and colors, were everywhere, all of them dancing and crying out in joy.

Fionna stared, flabbergasted. "These Bunnies have no idea that they're all gonna die!"

"I don't see any danger," Cake shrugged. "I mean, they may go deaf because of the music, but no biggie."

Fionna took a deep breath. "Cupcake, what happens when you digest something?"

"Well, the object that you are digesting travels down your pharynx, and into the stomach of the being."

"Yes...?"

"Then the gastric acid, if any, chemically breaks down the object into nutrients."

"Go on."

"Whatever is left of the nutrients is then passed down the digestive track. Then it leaves the body from the-" Cake cut off into silence. "...Ooooohhhh..."

"Yeeeeaaaah..." Fionna said. "Let's tell them."

The two girls approached a bright pink, pawprint-flanked Bunny and her deep orange, robot-flanked friend. "Excuse me? I haven't the slightest idea how you couldn't know this, but you need to leave immediately."

"PARDON?" said the pink one. "WE BLEED TO HEAVE INSTANTLY?"

Fionna figured they hadn't heard her over the loud music. "NO. YOU GUYS ARE LIVING IN THE STOMACH OF A MONSTER. YOU NEED TO _**LEAVE!"**_

"WHAT?" the two Bunnies stopped dancing. "WE'RE GIVING IN THE HUMMOCK OF A HAMSTER AND WE MEAD TO GRIEVE?"

Fionna sighed. "Forget it."

"SORBET IT?"

Fionna simply walked away with Cake. "We need to tell them another way."

"Hey." Fionna felt something tug on her sock.

The two sisters looked down at a small Bunny-smaller than any Bunnies they had seen so far. She had dark brown fur, with a lighter patch covering her belly. A picture of a ham covered her flank. Her light brown eyes stared up at them, wide with anxiety. "I'm Tubby."

"Hey, Tubby." "'Sup." The two girls responded.

"You're right. We need to evacuate; I know this is a Monster's stomach. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT FOR A WEEK!"

"Why won't they listen?" Fiona asked.

"Cos everyone thinks I'm too small to be smart." Tubby huffed.

"TUBBY!"

Tubby gave a cry of surprise and jumped up (abnormally high for a Bunny) into Fionna's hat. A tall, honey-orange Bunny with an ice cream-covered flank was bounding towards them. "Hey, there wasn't an obnoxious little twerp annoying you just now, was there?"

"Nooooo...?" Fionna and Cake said in unison.

The Bunny hummed and left.

"Tubby," whispered Fionna, "Is there anyway we can convince all of the Bunnies to leave?"

Bunny's head poked out of Fionna's hat. "You can talk to Party Patty. She's our leader. If you can convince her that we need to leave, _all will follow._"

"Can you show us where she is?" asked Cake.

"Yeah. Her room's in the brain. ONWARD!" Tubby hopped onto Fionna's head, grabbed her 'ears', and tugged them forward. Fionna let out a 'gah' sound and tumbled in that direction. Cake sighed heavily before following.

* * *

><p>It took a good half-hour getting to the brain. It took a fifteen-minute spinal-cord pulley-system, a ten-minute hiking sequence, and five minutes of stumbling through brainage. Tubby drove Fionna like a horse the whole time. Finally, Tubby stopped, and hopped off Fionna's head as they came to a corner. "Party Patty is right around this corner. I gotta get back before someone finds out I'm gone. Bye, guys."<p>

"Bye, Tubby." Fionna and Cake waved as the Bunny bounded away. The two girls turned the corner.

It seemed like a bedroom. It had a bright purple, circular bed with red pillows, multicolored beanbag chairs, a flat-screen TV with a video game system, and a fuzzy pink carpet. Confetti littered the floor and streamers and lanterns hung from the system. Lava lamps covered the dice-shaped cabinets. It was a nice room, but it seemed deserted.

"Party Patty?" Cake asked, oblivious to the figure stepping out of the darkness behind her. "Party Patty?" A paw set on her shoulder. "Party PAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A Bunny even taller than Fionna stepped out of the shadows, on her own hind legs. She had light brown fur and big brown eyes, as well as short brown hair. She wore a light green blouse, a yellow undershirt, as well as a knee-length pleated navy skirt. She also wore brown flats and carried a brown satchel. Party Patty.

"Oh, hey." Fionna pulled a trembling Cake behind her. "Party Patty, right? We need to talk to you about-"

Party Patty snapped her fingers. Fionna stopped talking, as if the leading Bunny had shushed her loudly. "I am the leader of the Bunnies."

"...Yes." said Cake.

"We know." added Fionna.

"If one wants to speak to the leader, thee must prove thyself to be a party-goer."

"But this is really-"

"Party or be gone."

* * *

><p>So for the next few hours, Fionna and Cake partied.<p>

They were forced to chug down carrot energy drink after carrot energy drink just to keep moving.

They were challenged to break-dance time after time, almost breaking a bone each time.

They had to play party games, from spin-the-bottle to pin-the-tail-on-the-dragon, over and over.

They had to compete in four pie-eating contests.

The final thing they had to do was a karaoke-off.

_Party Patty: Ohhhhhh-wooooah-oohh, _

_ so crank up the tunage and we shall never go._

_Fionna and Cake: Whoah-oh!_

_Party Patty: We'll live on and on and on..._

_All: And on and on and on and on and on _

_ and on and on and on and on _

_ and on and on and on and on _

_ and oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooon!_

The song ended, and Fionna and Cake crumpled to their knees. The Bunnies cheered. Then, all was quiet, with all eyes on Party Patty.

After a moment of silence, Party Patty raised a thumb, a Roman emperor granting life to a gladiator.

Everyone cheered once more.

Party Patty waved everyone off to commence their partying. She then approached the two girls, and said to Fionna, "A word, please."

Fionna nodded and turned to Cake. "Go have some more energy drinks. I'll be right back."

"O...K..." Cake began to crawl pathetically towards the bar.

Fionna approached Party Patty, who was sipping yet another carrot energy drink as she sat cross-legged on her neon thrown, which sat on a small stage at the center of the area. Fionna stood on the lighted platform in front of the throne.

"Party Patty, you are a wise and awesome ruler and I greatly respect that." Fionna said. "But what we need to tell you is dangerously important. And you said if we partied with you, you'd listen."

"And thee hath partied exceedingly well. Thee hath received my favor as co-leader of the Bunnies. The only one who shall be higher than thee is me. Thee and thy children, as well as thy feline companion, may reside here in our sanctum for however long it pleases thee."

"..."

"..."

"..._**THIS IS NOT A SANCTUM! YOU ARE ALL LIVING INSIDE OF A MONSTER'S STOMACH AND IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, YOU ARE ALL GONNA TURN INTO CRUD! **__**WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND?!"**_

"...That would indeed explain the stuff that always falls from the ceiling."

"So you're going to leave immediately, right?"

"No."

"Wha-? WHY NOT?"

Party Patty sighed and stood."Fionna, whilst I respect thy wishes, I simply cannot take my people from our only sanctuary. For years, we have been hunted and preyed apon by the monsters and creatures that lurk in the outside world. It was only a week ago today that we were graced with this sanctuary." The Bunny leader gestured to all of her people. "They are safe, Fionna. And as their leader, I do intend to keep it this way." She sat back down in her throne, folding her hands in her lap. "You may accept my offer as co-leader, or you may leave. The choice is thy owns."

Fionna let out a frustrated cry so loud that all of the Bunnies stopped in their dancing and singing to stare. Face flushed in frustration and anger, Fionna ran from the stomach.

"Fifi!" Cake ran after her sister, knocking over her carrot energy drink.

* * *

><p>Cake searched for Fionna madly. She followed the direction she went in, and by doing so, the lower half of the body was knocked off the list. She checked the doracnic, but it was empty, safe for the debris that fell through the throat. Fionna didn't have any way to get back up the throat, so she must have taken the spinal-spinal-chord-pulley-system. So she rode it all the way up. When she came to the brain, she hiked up the one and only path to Party Patty's room, but that was empty as well. Just before she left, Cake noticed two small round doors in the left and right 'walls.' She took the left one and opened it.<p>

When she opened it, she was in a large tunnel-area. One end of the tunnel became smaller and smaller until it was impossible to pass through. The other end was the entire left eye of the Monster. It was made up of two parts, the sclera and the cornea. The sclera seemed to be solid white, impossible to see through. The cornea was like a window, and as the Monster moved, Cake saw the land pass by, small and toy-like compared to the Monster's size. The sun was setting, and through the wavery vision of the cornea, Cake could see the crimson color.

In front of the cornea sat Fionna.

Cake stretched down the ladder and approached her sister. "Fifi?"

A pause, then, "I don't understand. I plainly told her that if she didn't take her people away from here, they'd all die. But she didn't even consider. She thinks this place is a 'sanctuary.'"

The Monster hummed, as if she had been in the same situation before and was agreeing.

"You know, I don't think there's any real danger to the Bunnies," Cake replied, plopping down next to her sister. "The only threats I can see are the rocks falling down the throat, but that's it."

Fionna didn't do anything for a long moment. Then, she smiled, considering. "Yeah. It would be really bad if the Monster drank some sea water or something. That'd probably drown them."

The Monster stopped moving, and Fionna and Cake raised eyebrows. Then, they let out surprised exclamations as the Monster turned quickly and sharply. Then it turned towards the sea."

"IT'S GOING TOWARDS THE SEA!" Fionna screamed. Her fear of the sea still wasn't overcome. "IT'S GOING TO KILL ME-I MEAN THE BUNNIES! WE GOTTA WARN THEM!"

The two girls ran.

* * *

><p>One hike, a pulley-ride, and a series of madman-style running later, the two girls were back in the stomach. As per usual, the Bunnies continued to dance and sing madly.<p>

"We gotta bum them out somehow," Fionna said over the music, "It's the only way to get their attention!"

"I have an idea!" Cake tossed Fionna onto the stage, grabbed two microphones, and pressed a few buttons on the speakers. A slow, soft song began to play. Fionna took a microphone and began to sing.

_Fionna: My dog is dead._

_ My cat is dead._

_ My goooooldfiiiish is dead._

_Cake: My snake is dead._

_ My turtle's dead._

_ My Pooooony is dead._

The Bunnies slowed in their dancing. They stared up at the two girls with sad, confused eyes. Eventually, they all stopped moving. Even Party Patty was staring at the ground sadly.

_Fionna: All of our loving pets_

_ Are completely dead._

_ They cannot domesticate_

_ In their headstoned pits._

_ We're going cry a lot_

_ And mourn their deaths _

_ and stuuuuuuuuuuuff!_

_Cake: And we'll cry over their graves._

_ But you can't cry enough._

_Fionna: Cos when you've lost someone you love..._

_Both: You can't cry enough._

By the end of the song, all of the Bunnies were either crying, clutching each other, or just staring at their feet.

"THE MONSTER IS DRINKING A CRUDLOAD OF SEA WATER RIGHT NOW! EVERYONE NEEDS TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY OR YOU'RE ALL GONNA DROWN!" Fionna screeched.

As if on cue, water began to flow into the area. At first, it trickled, then it poured, then it was gushing and everyone knew that a wave of seawater was about to come into the area. The Bunnies wailed and screamed.

"Party Patty! There has to be some way we can get everyone out of here!" Fionna cried.

"We may travel through the abandoned mines in the bowels," replied Party Patty, deep in thought.

"Uh-uh," Cake scoffed, "There ain't no way I am going through a Monster's-"

"-or we may travel through the nasals."

A silence, then Cake sighed, "Fine."

* * *

><p>And so everyone was hurried to the spinal-chord-pulley-system. Everyone was hurried into all of the fourteen elevators and was pulled upwards. When they reached the top, they immediately ran for the nasal passage. Half of the group took the left, the other half took the right.<p>

And when they reached the ends of the passages, they jumped.

* * *

><p>"And...done." Fionna stopped rubbing Tubby with the fluffy towel she had. The Bunny, just to be safe, shimmied like a dog.<p>

Every one of the Bunnies had towels. Around their necks, their bodies, and some on their heads. Fionna herself had a towel wrapped around her ears. The ground was still damp, and Fionna was still squirming on the sea water, but all was otherwise fine. "You're all safe."

All of the Bunnies cheered and whooped and danced. Even Party Patty was smiling.

...And at that exact moment, the Monster swooped down, gathered them all up, and swallowed them down.

Fionna and Cake gawked in horror. "PARTY PATTY?!"

"All is well, Fionna," Party Patty's muffled voice said through the Monster's belly. "I do believe the Monster rather enjoys our company."

The Monster nodded, smiling.

"Thank you, Fionna," Party Patty called as the Monster turned to leave. "Please visit whenever you please!"

And then, the Monsters, and all of the Bunnies inside, walked away.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Want some pasta?"

"Yeah."


	48. The Max

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Corn Dog Knights-a group of hopelssly stupid canine-like corndog creatures. They serve Corndog Prince, and they typically wear medieval armor and bear medieval weapons.

Ignisnobis-(IG-NISS NO-BISS) a magical creature in the center of the Maze. She is a lizard-like creature made of stone, with cat-like green eyes, and her limbs end in scaly paws. Ignisnobis appears to be wise and friendly, but she is actually deceptive and cruel. She also speaks with a hiss.

THE MAX

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake stand before the entrance of the Maze, the small group of Corn Dog Knights right behind them, their eyes wide._

"I got another one!"

Cake cupped her paws around yet another firefly, the small insect buzzing between her claws. She stepped back over to Fionna, who opened the holed lid to an already firefly-filled jar (carefully, so as not to let any out). Cake set the firefly inside with the others, and they marveled a moment at the bright gold insects that seemed to dance inside of the glass.

They were in the middle of a field. The dry grass came up to Fionna's knees (and Cake's, as they were stretched out), dancing and bending in the soft wind. The few trees in the field bore leaves that flickered from black to silver in the moonlit breeze. The moon was incredibly bright, and the stars in the sky twinkled. The entire field seemed to be filled with stars, as there were millions of fireflies everywhere. A dozen jars were stacked up in a small clearing, filled with about six fireflies each.

"That makes thirteen," Fionna said as she put the jar on top of the shortest stack of the firefly-filled-glass-containers. With the number of bright in insects, and the glass that magnified their light, it seemed as if there was a golden beacon in the field. "Is that enough, Corndog Prince?"

"I think two more should do it," the small, batter-covered, edible, canine royal replied, looking at the stacks of fireflies with a pleased smile. "Thank you both for helping me with the Semi-Annual Firefly Harvest, girls."

"Our pleasure," Fionna told him with a smile.

Cake looked all around her at the millions of flame-like insects. "You know, these fireflies look like falling stars. Wishing stars."

"I wonder if we'll see one tonight," agreed Fionna, looking upwards. "What would you wish for?"

"That something special only the best of sisters can have."

You could almost see the excitement and joy coming from Fionna. "I think I know what you're talking about!"

_"The Archaic Cerebral Velocipede Battle Mammoth!" _the two girls chorused together in glee.

"You girls have been talking 'bout that Mammoth all night," Corndog Prince smiled. "What is it?"

"It's a totally rad recreational beast that can read your mind and take out an entire army! They're so amazing they take A THOUSAND YEARS to train!" Eyes wide and sparkling in awe, Fionna turned to Cake. "I hear that you can't choose your Mammoth. IT chooses YOU."

"I WILL HAVE A MAMMOTH CHOOSE ME BEFORE I DIE." Cake proclaimed.

Their eyes went back up to the sky, and when they did, they gasped. A bright spot of light was whizzing through the sky, leaving a trail of silver behind it. "It's a wishing star!" Fionna exclaimed, green eyes bright in glee. "MAKE A WISH! QUICK!"

Then, suddenly, the 'wishing star' burst like a firework, leaving only four letters:

_C.A.K.E._

Fionna's nose scrunched up. "Wha-?!"

Cake gasped. _**"MY PEOPLE."**_

Corndog Prince gasped in horror. "It's a Corndog Knight S.O.S.! I sent a group of them to rescue ANOTHER group of Corndog Knights, but they never came back! It says, _'Come Aid/Kiss Eus."_

Fionna's eyebrows crinkled. "'Eus?'"

"Fionna, Corndog Knights are HOPELESSLY stupid. Especially in literature." Corndog Prince sniffed, looking over at her Corndog Captain, who was writing 'EI LUV EYCE KREEM' in some mud.

"We'll go get them," Fionna told the royal.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake gawked at the Maze before them. The walls were tall (tall enough to brush the clouds) and made of solid metal, with mouth-decorated pillars scattered around. Trees, fiery explosions, and wreckage were peppered around randoml, along with some other macabre things. The air was filled with metallic screeching and beastly roars, with a hint of gunfire. The Maze seemed to go on for miles and miles, never ending. It went into the horizon.<p>

"This place is GINORMOUS!" Fionna gawked at the scene before her.

"Fifi, everything is ginormous to you."

"I can't help it. I live in a small world."

As the two girls approached the entrance (which was modeled after a lion's head), Cake looked up at the walls as far as they could before they disappeared into the clouds. "Maybe I can stretch us over or somethin'?"

"No, we can't. Look."

Cake looked at the small plaque on the metal wall. The words 'Si fraudatis morieris' began to mold and squirl until they depicted 'If thou cheat, thou shalt die.'

"Oh," commented Cake. She looked around for a moment before a small lightbulb went off. She walked over to a tall oak tree and turned her back to it, wrapping her tail around it. "Ta-da!"

Fionna cheered. "There ain't no cat like a stretchy cat-"

"-cos a stretchy cat never stops!" Cake finished as they entered the Maze, laughing.

* * *

><p>"This Maze goes on forever," Fionna commented as they passed the forty-seventh passage since they entered the Maze. Fifty-second, if you counted the trapdoors. "It'll take us flippin' forever before we find those-"<p>

"Fifi?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a corndog on your shoulder."

Fionna turned her head and saw a small corndog female grinning up at her. "AH!" Fionna screamed and slapped the creature away.

It was then she became aware that it was a Corndog Knight. The Corndog Knight fell to the ground, and three more formed a V around her. The other Knights glared up at Fionna, holding up small needles of wood in a threatening manner. Toothpicks. "How dare you bloody attack one of our sheilas?" the one to the left cried, her voice muffled by a mouth scarf.

"No, no! Corndog Prince sent us here to rescue you all!"

The Corndog Knights immediately sighed in relief, lowering their puny weapons. "T'ank our lucky starhs!" the one in the front, with an eyepatch, exclaimed. "Weev been lahst fir haours! Wahy deedn't yew garls git lahst?"

"We're gonna follow Cupcake's tail back," Fionna smiled, gesturing to Cake's stretched tail, which disappeared behind the corner.

The Corndog Knights gasped in wonder, and Cake was showered in compliments of awe and idolism. "Ahmazin'!" "Beaut!" "Thou art so amazing!"

"There is a magical creature in the center of this Maze that grants wishes to whomever approaches it," the Knight with no left arm proclaimed.

"Wishes?" Fionna and Cake repeated. Fionna gasped and turned to Cake. "CUPCAKE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

_"The Archaic Cerebral Velocipede Battle Mammoth!" _The two girls exclaimed in unison.

"Come on, girls!" Cake said, grabbing all of the Knights in one paw. "We're gonna get us some wishies!"

The Knights cheered madly.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fionna:<strong>__ Dance cause yo dada, yo dada, yo dada said._

_He said yo dada, yo dada, yo dada, what?_

_What yo dada say, he say?_

_**Cake: **__I'm busy, meetin' ladies_

_Pretty ladies_

_Dancing through the daisies._

_I might marry them, maybes._

Fionna looked down at Cake and frowned. Her hind legs had disappeared, and her torso was only as wide as a soccer ball. This wasn't normal. Before Cake could get to the opera solo, Fionna asked, "Cake, what happened to your legs?"

"What?" Cake looked behind her. "Oh. Must have lost them a while back. No biggie."

"Cupcake, you're bod's gettin' bad."

"Wh-? I'll have you know that I have only cheated on my diet twice this week, Fifi."

"No, Cupcake, I mean it's getting skinny."

"Hm. Maybe I need to cheat more often..."

"Cupcake, you're not getting the-"

Fionna was cut off as something long, thick, and scaly wrapped around her torso and chucked her against the wall. She grunted as she hit the floor, and she opened her eyes dizzily. When her vision cleared, she gasped. "BASKILISK!"

A gigantic, slimy, scaly Basilisk was between the girls. It's scales were sharp and black, and its eyes were a flaming orange. Black spikes adorned its head. Venom dripped from its foot-long fangs. It hissed at the two girls, splattering its venom everywhere.

Fionna charged forward. She ran up the Baskilisk's back as if it were a slimy staircase. She then took out her ruby sword, which twinkled a dull red in the light of the Maze. She jabbed the sword's blade into each of the Basilisk's eyes. Green blood dripped down the Baskilisk's scales, and it snarled in pain. "Quick, Cupcake! While it's blinded!"

"OK!" Pushing off the Corndog Knights, Cake began to wind herself around the Baskilisk, up and up before she began to wrap herself over and over around its jaw. The venom dripped on her fur, and it burned. As she continued to wrap herself around the Basilisk's jaw, she began to feel her body stretch out. She pulled and pulled, but she was like a rubber band pulled to its max. "I can't...stretch...any more..."

"You can do it, sheila!" the scarfed Knight cheered. "Barrack! Barrack!"

Cake stretched harder and harder. Her spine crackled and her organs wrinkled. Finally, the Baskilisk fell to the ground in a heap of scales.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!" "Mahgneeficant!" "Marvelous!"

"Cake, yohu're ahmazin'!" the eyepatched Knight cheered as she and the other Knights hopped onto Cake's back once more.

"Onward, Cake!" the one-armed Knight commanded.

Cake nodded and began to stretch forward. "C'mon, Fifi..."

Fionna watched her sister with worried eyes.

* * *

><p>As the six girls continued to move, Cake began to look worse and worse. Her body was getting skinnier and skinnier, and she was getting a bit pale. She was breathing heavily, but the Corndog Knights just yelled at her to keep going. Fionna was starting to dislike them.<p>

"Cupcake," Fionna said, "Maybe we should take a break for a w-AOH!"

Fionna exclaimed as she tripped over who-knows-what an face-planted into the ground. She sat up and looked at what she tripped over: something tubular, white, with coffee-colored patches, covered in fur. "Cupcake, that's you!"

"Gosh..." Cake said, rubbing the part of her body that was in front of her. She felt it on her body, but it felt like it was miles away. "I really should cheat more..."

"Vetřelci!"

Fionna and Cake gasped as they turned to their right. A female creature, part-human, part-spider, was hissing at them. From her waist down, the woman's body was like a spiders: a black abdomen, with four sinewy black legs poking out of it. The legs pricked at the ground, clicking against the ground as she crawled to move. From the waist up, the woman was still spider-like, but with a slightly human form. She had the waist, shoulders, and (kinda) head of a human, but that was just it: shape. Her skin was red, dotted with black, and four black, clawed arms protuded from her torso. Two sets of yellow eyes sat on top of each other. Her black lips were in the middle of two foot-long palps.

"SPIDERESS!"

Fionna unsheathed her sword and charged. The Spideress hissed, "Idiot holka!" and swung her two right arms at Fionna just as she came at her. Fionna was thrown against the wall, but it wasn't so hard as she thought it'd be. Confused, she turned around to see that the wall behind her was cracked and broken in a perfectly circular shape. "Cupcake! Hold her off while I open this cave!"

"Alright!"

Cake brushed off the Knights and stretched forward. As the lower half of her body was no longer functional, Cake could only dodge and weave as the Spideress clawed and bit at her, hissing, "Idiot kočkovité!", "Hloupý kočka!", and "Zabiju vás všechny ještě předtím, než se vidět ty přání!"

Fionna, meanwhile, hit the wall with her sword over and over. Each time, the cracks grew and dust bloomed, and little pebbles showered her knees. Finally, with a push of her shoulder, the wall caved in. Looking inside, Fionna saw a wide space with little to no light. Perfect. "CUPCAKE! NOW!"

Cake twisted to the left and flung herself at the Spideress. With a cry of "Můj dodatek!", the Spideress stumbled right into the cave. Cake was quick to cover up the entrance with her body.

With never-ending exclamations of, "Pusťte mě ven!" the Spideress sank her teeth palps into Cake's flesh repeatedly. The feline hissed in pain as venom shot into her bloodstream. "ARGH!"

"Cupcake, are you OK?" Fionna asked as she dashed over to the paling Cake.

"Aw, she's bonza, sheila." the scarfed Knight said as she and the others Knights climbed onto Cake's back again.

Fionna glared. "You don't know that."

"Cake's parfictly feine," the eyepatched Knight told the human girl. "Rite, Cake?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...Let's go."

With a deep breath, Cake stretched forward.

* * *

><p>For the next hour, Cake stretched. She made bridges, moved boulders, pulled levers, pushed buttons, climbed stairs, cooked food, and spun wheels, all of which had to have at least some form of stretching. Her spine was aching, and her head was spinning, and her heartbeat was thin, but she said nothing. Fionna really wanted a Mammoth, and so help her, Fionna was getting a Mammoth!<p>

The last puzzle (it seemed) was a crossword. A gigantic golden statue sat before them, holding the crossword in her hands. The entrance was her belly, and to the left of her, on the wall, there was the question bank:

1. A pathetic, lonely woman.

2. The best friend in Aaa.

3. A talking video game console.

4. A edible candy royal.

5. A bloodthirsty king.

Fionna nodded as she observed the puzzle. "Looks pretty easy. Hey, Cupcake, can you stretch up-_**AH!"**_

CAKE LOOKED TERRIBLE! Her white fur was grey, and her coffee fur was brown. Her eyeballs were the size of peas. Her lips jutted out madly. Her entire body was no wider than a baseball. She looked like death itself!

"...Yeah..." Cake's voice was barely a whisper.

"CUPCAKE, YOU LOOK AWFUL!"

"...No...just...can't...breathe..."

"Cupcake, no more Maze. We're gonna get out of here, return the Corndog Knights, go home, and eat a buttload of pasta."

"...Yeah...I'm...feeling...kinda...terrible..."

The Knights, however, had other plans. They whined and complained and shook their heads, jabbing Cake with their toothpicks.

"Nah, sheila, barrack!" "Yhou stritch gud!" "Thou must keep moving!"

"...Yeah...gotta...get...those...wishes..."

Fionna felt something nearly snap inside her angrily. Was it NOT obvious that Cake was in danger of dying? AND THEY WERE JUST PUSHING HER TO KEEP GOING! They were dancing on her last nerve.

"...I'm...gonna...do...it..."

"Cupcake, no!" Fionna snapped out of her thoughts just in time to fail at stopping Cake from stretching upwards. The feline reached over to the right side of the entrance, grabbing the six-foot-tall pencil and writing down the anwers.

1. Ice Queen.

2. Fifi

3. Beema

4. Prince Gumball

5. Marshall Lee

The crossword puzzle panel began to glow gold. There was a loud grinding sound, and the entrance rolled open. The Corndog Knights cheered like maniacs.

"Let's go, Cupcake!" Fionna shouted up to her sister.

As Cake stretched back down, the one Corndog Knight that had been silent the entire time hopped onto the puzzle panel. Fionna praised, "Great job. Now let's go get an _Archaic Cerebral Velocipede Battle Mammoth!"_

"...Gotta...move..._carefully..._" Cake rasped, her body becoming as thin as a golfball.

Meanwhile, the Silent Knight was still hanging onto the crossword puzzle. She accidentally lost her grip and she fell, smearing one of the words. 'Fifi' not spelled 'Fifl.'

And the gate closed, right down onto Cake's body.

Cake shrieked, falling to the ground. Fionna cried out and caught her thin sister in her hands, as the Knights complained as they fell to the ground.

"...I...can't...breathe...can't...go...on..."

"No! Barrack! Barrack! Barrack!"

"...I'll...do...it...if...you...cheer...me...on...in...Aussie..."

"Hang in there, Cupcake. I'll use my wish to save you."

_"Welcome."_

Fionna looked ahead. Down a tiled walkway, there was a pool of golden liquid. Silver lilypads floated on its surface, with glimmering blossoms cradled inside. As Fionna watched, a stone-skinned, lizard-like creature surfaced on a large lilypad, green, cat-like eyes blinking slyly. "Ssssssstep forward and recccccieve your wissssshesssss."

"Yes!" the one-armed Knight ran forward. "I shall wish for a new arm!"

The Knight stepped on a pink tile.

A giant anvil dropped out of nowhere, crushing the Knight flat.

The others gawked.

"Who'ssssssss nexxxxxt?"

"Nah, sheila," the scarfed Knight shook her head vigorously. "That floor's got traps."

"Cupcake gaht's ta streitch ous akroos." The eyepatched Knight agreed.

"Barrack!"

"...OK...I'll...stretch..." Cake tried to pick herself up, but she hardly twitched a paw.

"No! No more stretching for Cupcake!" Fionna glared at the Knights.

"But how else are we gonna get across, sheila?"

Fionna frowned. They really couldn't get across without Cake. The entire walkway was tiled, and she knew each tile held a trap. There was no other way.

"Cupcake, you have to stretch us across."

"...But...I...can't...move..."

"BARRACK! BARRACK! BARRACK!" Fionna cheered.

"BARRACK! BARRACK!" the Knights joined in.

"YEAH!"

Cake threw her six-feet-long arms around her sister's form, and her sister picked up the Knights. Cake began to stretch them over the walkway, getting skinnier and skinnier, more pained and weaker by the second.

"That's it, I'm out."

Just as they reached the other side, Cake collapsed. Her body was no wider than a large pushpin. She was deathly pale, and Fionna could barely make out a face. "Cupcake! Hold on! We can get our wishes now!"

"Yessssss. You may reccccccieve your wisssshesss. But be warned: there are no do-overssssss."

The lilypads in the pool glowed, and little glimmering spheres of unknown colors lifted up from the blossoms, into their paws and hands. It felt like solid liquid.

"OK," Fionna turned to the Knights, "You guys should wish for your friends to get better, right?"

"I wish for a bluey!" Immediately, a cattle-dog appeared next to the scarfed Knight.

"Ei weesh for ah laht of dhou!"

About a dozen does ran through the area, trampling the eyepatched Knight to clumps of batter and meat.

"Wow," Fionna observed, "You guys are really stupid."

"What do you mean?" the scarfed Knight inquired as the 'Bluey' bit off the lower half of her body.

"Cat, you are nexxxxxxt. What do you wissssssh?"

"Cupcake, wish for the Archaic Cerebral Velocipede Battle Mammoth_!_ I'll use my wish to save you!"

"...Can't...think...on...an...empty...stomach...wish...I...had...some...pasta..."

Cake's wish disappeared with a small pop of color. Immediately, a bowl of peppered shrimp alfredo appeared next to her. Cake forced herself to reach over and scoop out a bite.

"CUPCAKE! YOU RUINED YOUR WISH!"

"I...know...sorry...You...should...wish...for...the...Mammoth..."

"But you hafta-"

"Do...it...for...me...!"

"I...wish for the Archaic Cerebral Velocipede Battle Mammoth!" Fionna's voice rose with excitement as she spoke.

"Yes...!"

"Your wisssssssh isssss granted."

And the Mammoth appeared in a flash of white.

It was a collosol brown mammoth wearing some kind of purple goggles on its face. It had a pink and purple tandem on top. It had eagle-like wings on its back, silver swords for tusks, and. A series of ladder steps ran up one of its legs, presumably for passengers to climb. It was the most amazing thing Fionna had ever seen.

"...Remember...it...has...to...choose...you..."

Fionna nodded and ran over to the mammoth. On sight of her, the mammoth began to buck and kick, and Fionn had to be very careful when she grabbed onto one of the ladder steps. Fionna forced her way to stand in front of the Mammoth.

And when they gazed into each other's eyes, Fionna felt a surge on energy.

_Fionna the Human, what is it that thou wishest for?_

_**I want my friends to be safe.**_

"I wish for what Fionna desires!"

There was a flash of white in Fionna's eyes. When she opened them, she saw a healthy, perfectly normal Cake and the four Knights on the Mammoth's back. Cake cheered, pumping a fist.

Ignisnobis snarled in rage. "NO! YOU WERE SSSSSUPPOSSSSSED TO PERISSSSH!"

"Who wants some pasta?" Cake asked the five girls around her.

The girls cheered in answer.

"C'MON, MAMMOTH!" Fionna commanded. "LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!"

TRIVIA

The Spideress was based on the Empress of Racnos, from _Doctor Who._

Cake is revealed to have a limit on her stretching.

It is revealed that the Corndog Kingdom, or in some parts/all of Aaa, there is an Annual Firefly Harvest. What they do to the fireflies is unknown.


	49. Scripted Play

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**BEEMA**—it isn't necessarily gender-swapped, just a different name.

**SCRIPTED PLAY  
><strong>

_Title Card_

_Beema types up the script, typing on the typewriter frantically._

"Hey, Cupcake, can you pass me an apple slice? I need it for Marshall Lee's Tomatoberry Cocktail."

"Here ya go," Cake formed her paw into a blade and sliced a piece of apple off of its core, handing it to Fionna. Fionna took it and stuck it on the lip of Marshall Lee's glass, of which contained Tomatoberry Cocktail: tomato and strawberry juice, blended with a dash of cinnamon. She then set it on the metal tray she had and picked it up carefully.

"I'll get started on the popcorn," Cake said, walking off to the cabinet.

Fionna took the tray and walked to the living room. Inside, Prince Gumball, Tree-Trunks, LSP, Sheldon, Marshall Lee, and Lord Monochromicorn were seated on the couches and chairs that had been placed for the special occasion: Fionna and Cake's Drama Club.

"Good evenin', gents," Fionna greeted them al before kneeling next to Tree-Trunks. "TT, here's your peach juice. Room temp, like you like it." Tree-Trunks smiled and took the warm peach-shaped glass with his trunk.

"LSP, here's your Friendglow," LSP scoffed as he took the non-alcoholic beverage-in-a-bottle, popping off the cap. He would really prefer a Friendgleezer, but when his parents found out he was drinking underage, he was grounded for five months and now had to be alcohol-chipped.

Fionna frowned as she approached the edible royal. "What did you order, PG?"

"I brought my own," Prince Gumball, wearing a deep pink hoodie with black laces and purple jeans, showed her his portable cup covered in peppermints. Two eyeballs swimming in pink liquid blinked at her.

"Chocolate espresso with a shot of vanilla for Mo-Chro," Fionna handed the black monochromicorn the tall, warm glass. He trotted his thanks.

"Tomatoberry Cocktail for Marshall Lee." Fionna held up the red glass in the ai. Immediately, a pale hand took it.

"Thanks, Fionna," Marshall Lee smirked, dressed in a grey tank top, a plaid grey jacket, jeans, black sneakers, and an Poison Shower cap. His hair had grown a bit longer, and he now had it pulled back into a small ponytail.

"Coffee for Beema," Fionna handed the small computer console the mug.

"And finally, a thimble of orange juice for Sheldon, the Worm that Lives in Cake's Dulcimer." Fionna kneeled next to the dulcimer that lay on the floor. A small worm appeared, smiling.

"You can just call me Sheldon."

"I got the popcorn!" Cake walked into the room, balancing a bowl the size of a baby carriage on her head. She picked it up and set it in the center of the room, and immediately, everyone scooped up a bit of the popcorn. It was Cake's specialty popcorn, and it was so good that they kept talking her into selling it: just normal popcorn, sprinkled in parmesan cheese and basil.

"Alright, let's go," Cake pulled Fionna behind the curtain in front of the boys. "We'll get started after we get dressed."

As Fionna pulled on an overlarge-grey sweatshirt, she heard LSP complain, "PG's in my seat."

"LSP, we changed the seating arrangements last week, remember? Sheldon couldn't see behind you," Fionna sighed, setting a green newsboy cap between her ears.

LSP scoffed, and she heard him take a long of Friendglow.

Fionna put on some lenseless glasses, and Cake threw a green scarf around her neck. The two girls then stepped out from behind the curtain. "Fionna and Cake's Drama Club is pleased to present you with this week's reenactment of..._Torridity Torture._ We will be reenacting the scene in which Captain Oblivious tells Sailer Boomeye that they're in grave danger."

"GET ON WITH THE SHOW!" LSP yelled, and the everyone glared.

"Beema, spotlight, please," Cake said.

The small computer sat down, and its screen went up in yellow light, illuminting the girls.

Fionna and Cake took out their scripts, flipping the first page over. Prince Gumball tilted his neck to read the front page, and he could make out the word 'WARNING.' Just as Fionna took a breath to speak, Prince Gumball said, "Hey, Fionna, what's that on the front page?"

Fionna flipped the page back over, and Cake copied, "Oh," Fionna says, "This is on all of the scripts we copy from the Mesh." (the web)

"It seems kinda important..."

"OK, let's look at it, Cupcake." The feline nodded and the two girls began to read aloud.

_"WARNING: Federal lawprovides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of copyrighted motion picture scripted material, criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the police of Aaa and may constitute a felony with a maximum penalty of up to five glabillion years in prison and/or a 500,000,000,000.05 aalop fine."_

Fionna and Cake looked up at each other.

* * *

><p>"Bye, everyone." "Sorry we have to cancel."<p>

Fionna closed the door on the men's confused faces. Leaning against the wooden frame, she sighed, "We've been reenacting movies illegally."

"But these movies were from before the Great Fungi War." countered Cake, crossing her furry arms. "I'm sure no one'll mind if we reenact them."

"We should be safe, just in case," replied Fionna, and Cake nodded.

"No!" "Come on!" "Open up!" ".-. .-.. . .- ... ."

Fionna's eyes widened as she opened the door. The young men all stood there, some annoyed and some confused, and in LSP's case, angry. With his arms crossed, Prince Gumball asked, "Are we watching a play next week?"

"Uh...I dunno if we can find a movie we can legally reenact," Fionna replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Fionna, I need this club," LSP said, crossing his arms angrily. "If I don't participate in at least ONE kind of social gathering, my parents'll take away car privileges."

".. / .- .-.. .- .- -.- ... / .-.. - - -.- / ..-. - .-. .- .- .-. -.. / - - / -.. .-. .- - .- / -.-. .-.. ..- -... / .- .-.. .-.. / .- . . -.-" Lord Monochromicorn added.

Fionna took a deep breath, but didn't sigh. "Me and Cupcake promise we'll give you guys a reenactment we can legally reenact."

The men sighed in relief, and LSP nodded, uncrossing his arms. Then they all bid their farewells-LSP's in the form of a grunt-and descended into the night, headed for their homes.

"Fifi, every single script Beema copies has that warning!" Cake reminded her sister, her paws on her hips.

"I know, but I need to think a bit," Fionna closed the door and began to pace the living room. "Hm..."

_Click_

"Hmm..."

_Click_

"Hmmm..."

_Click_

"Beema, would you stop it!" Fionna hissed, turning to the small computer.

Beema's face was completely white, with a few random letters in the corner, as well as a flashing black line. Beema's face appeared back on the screen in a flash. "I'm sorry. I was just checking on my keyboard."

Fionna's eyebrows rose. "Your...what?"

"My keyboard. For my files," Beema said, as if it were obvious."

Fionna gasped, and you could almost see the light-bulb above her head. "That's it, Cake!"

Cake, who was stuffing her mouth full of scoop after scoop of leftover popcorn, asked, "Hmuf?"

"We're going to WRITE A PLAY!"

Cake gasped, unfortunately spending the fifteen minutes choking on popcorn.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 1<strong>

"PLAY-WRITING TIME!"

"If we want to write a reenactment, we have to have an original act," Fionna told Cake as they, along with Beema, stood at the top of an emerald green grass the next day. "So from now until next week, we're goin to make our time as interesting and play-worthy as possible."

Laughter interrupted her. Turning around, Fionna saw Mrs. Danish and Ms. Eclair sitting at a flowery table, clinking flower-like teacups together.

"Perfect," Fionna proclaimed, and turned to her friends, "Alright, if we want good play material, it has to be as natural as possible. So let's blend into our surroundings."

The girls hit the deck, or in this case, hit the grass, keeping their eyes and ears peeled.

"So then I said, _Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?_" Ms. Eclair was proclaiming boisterously. "And you know what she did?"

"Whatever did she do?" Mrs. Danish asked, spreading some butter on a jelly biscuit.

"She ate the ENTIRE BANK!" Ms. Eclair exclaimed, and the women burst into exploding laughter. The entire time, Beema types furiously, refusing to lose track of the conversation.

Cries of laughter reached Fionna's ears, and she turned to her right. In the distance, beyond a few trees, she could make out a jollyball game going on. "Guys, come on!"

The girls ran down the hill, through the trees, and into a shrub near the field.

On the field, a young lollipop child attempted to kick the fuzzy blue ball, only to accidentally slip and land on his back. As the other jollyball-players ran after the ball, the lollipop boy cried, "MOMMY!"

His mother was at his side in a heartbeat. "Oh, sweetie, it's OK."

* * *

><p>Their next attempt at scene-catching brought them to a track course. They watched as Cinnamon Bun ran full speed at a raised bar, panting and huffing. Unfortunately, as her hands hit the bar, it snapped right off, and Cinnamon Bun went flying into a cart of equipment.<p>

The girls flinched, but Beema kept typing.

* * *

><p>Their NEXT attempt brought them to the Glindisburg wishing well, where a candy cane couple stood. The wife took out a golden coin, closed her eyes, and said, "I wish we'll be together forever." And tossed the coin in.<p>

"Awww..." the girls chorused.

The husband looked terrified. "Forever?"

"Ooooh..." the girls grimaced.

* * *

><p>The girls spent the rest of the day watching people and writing their actions and conversations. They watched as two bakers got into a heated fight about the creampuff-to-cupcake ratios. They scripted a customer's gushing compliments as she saw her painting the artist made her. They typed a a group of children's time in the park. They observed a group of buck-wild teenagers camping in the woods. They listened to a couch training his student on how to do proper push-ups. Finally, after witnessing Miss Churro ask the <em>Ye Old Hattery's <em>manager countless questions on their storage of fluffy green caps, the two girls went home.

The two girls were positive that they had wonderful material, but as they read the paper Beema had printed out, all they could do was frown.

"I don't get it," Cake sighed, "It's just a lot of random stuff. It's not really a story."

"Yeah," huffed Fionna, "I know. We need stuff that's entertaining, but believable, and it all has to tie into an ACTUAL storyline."

"How about...a MUSICAL!" exclaimed Cake, her tail puffing excitedly.

"Exactly what I was thinking! A melodrama!"

Cake frowned. "That's not what I-"

"Let's get to work!"

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 2<strong>

"OK, Slime Prince!" Fionna called up to the top of the waterfall. "The Alligatorbots have taken over your village! It's your job to take vengeance! Now, what you need to do is jump into the Alligatorbots' headquaters-" Fionna gestured to the pool of water, which was filled with snapping alligators "-wipe them all out with your awsome ninja skills, and walk out of the water victoriously. You need to be as realistic as possible. More real than reality itself. But be careful, or you'll be eaten alive."

Slime Prince nodded and dove into the water.

The alligators dove after him.

Fionna and Cake gawked.

Then, Slime Prince rose from the water, the alligators forming a spinning platform beneath him, with his voice singing a single note. "Aaaaaaaaaa~!"

Fionna scoffed angrily. "No, no, no! There's no singing in this script!"

"I was just doing what Cake told me to do." Slime Prince replied, shrugging his slimy shoulders atop the alligators.

Fionna turned to Cake with a raised eyebrow. Cake simply put her paws on her hips. "I thought it'd add some pizzaz!"

"This isn't _Le Tragiques, _Cupcake," huffed Fionna. Turning to Beema, she ordered, "Beema, erase that from the script."

Just as Beema's small hand hovered over its backspace key, Cake whispered, "Hey, Beema. Save that in the file."

Beema didn't know what to do, so she made two files: one with the singing and one without.

* * *

><p>"OK, here's the deal," Cake told LSP and Peppermint Maid. The minty maid and the lumpy royal sat at a small wooden table, a small candlestick lit, a glass bowl of creamy cajun chicken pasta between them. "You two are both on a date. LSP, you're going to try to convince Peppermint Maid to elope with you. But you have to do it all in SONG. Remember, as realistic as possible, but with singing. And...action!"<p>

LSP looked unhappy to sing, but he did so.

_"Oh, my love,_

_I greatly hope_

_That you will take my glove_

_So that we may elope."_

Peppermint Maid put on a shocked face, then she shook her head.

_"Oh, no,_

_I simply cannot!_

_My am engaged to my beau, _

_We really nought!_

_I do love you, amor,_

_I do proclaim,_

_We are enamored,_

_And none is to blaim!_

_But I am betrothed,_

_Oh, Glob above,_

_I do pray to be allowed,_

_To be with my true love,_

_So that we may be vowed!"_

LSP stared at Peppermint Maid in surprise for a moment before glaring. "What the mess, man? That's WHY I'm trying to run away with you. So that you _don't_ have to marry another guy?" When Peppermint Maid didn't respond, LSP cried out in annoyance and flipped the table over angrily, scattering its contents. "Augh, bump this garbage. I'm gonna go spraypaint something."

Cake waved her arms back and forth, trying to stop him. "No, no, no, wait! Wait! That wasn't right! You were supposed to-"

"I thought it was great," Fionna smiled, and Cake turned to her in disbelief.

"What?"

"Yeah. The table flip was great. I liked it." Fionna yawned, stretched, and began to walk away. "Let's call it a day. We'll start again tomorrow."

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 3<strong>

"Fionna, just how does this work, exactly?" Prince Gumball asked as he stood a few feet away, his gummy eyebrows furrowed. His hair was slightly curled, and his body was clad in a calf-long toga. A gold belt was tied around the waist, and gold sandals clad his feet. As he moved his arms, the gold bracelets gleamed in the sun. He was standing in the middle of a not-too-big golden chariot tied to a bullfrog the size of a car. The bullfrog bucked and roared and croaked, trying to break away from the chains holding it to the ground.

"You're gonna ride the chariot around for a while while Beema types. You have to be as realistic and as believable as you can, or this won't work. Got it?"

"I guess so," Prince Gumball said, taking the reins of the chariot.

"Hey, Fifi?"

"Yeah, Cupcake?"

"What if he said something sing-y while he took off?" Cupcake asked, smiling in hope. "Something like, _Allons-y~!_"

"Wh-No! That's stupid!"

Cake glared, her tail flicking madly.

"OK...Cake! Break the chains!"

Cake reached over and formed her paws into a sharp, wrench-like clip, and snapped the chains that held the bullfrog down.

It only took ten seconds for the bullfrog to roar and break away from the carriage, tearing off a large chunk of wood as Prince Gumball flew backwards with a surprised cry.

Fionna screamed in frustration as the bullfrog bounded away, thumping the ground with its flippers. "Beema, don't save that." Beema deleted the file she was typing. "Cupcake, you broke the chains wrong! The bullfrog got away!"

"Sorry," Cake shrugged, not sounded too sincere. "I kinda liked it, though."

"Cupcake, this is serious! We need a script in four days!" Fionna groaned and slapped her forehead. "Look, what's you're idea?"

* * *

><p>"Alright, people," Cake proclaimed, "It's been a long day. A lot of bullfrog-hasslin' and junk. But we will have that script! Mrs. Cupcake, you are Toinette Jackson."<p>

"Alright," Mrs. Cupcake nodded, adjusting her wedding veil.

"And Lordy, you're Noah Anderson. You're going to reveal that you never really loved Toinette, but was just after her father's fortune. In SONG!"

".. / -.-. .- -. .-. - / .- -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.- / ... .. -. -. -..- / -... ..- - / - -.- .- -.- .-.-.-"

"But then you both realize that you DO love each other, and you both say 'I do!.' And then, Sheldon, you say..."

_"Allons-y!" _The worm replied from Cake's dulcimer.

Alright people, realistic and singing. Morph them. And...go!"

_"Do you, Toinette Jackson,_

_Take Noah Anderson to be your wed,_

_So that you may love him,_

_And cherish him,_

_Until you are dead?" _sung Sheldon.

_"I do," _Mrs. Cupcake replied, winking at Lord Monochromicorn, who black skin tinged pink. Cupcake's jaw dropped.

_"Do you, Noah Ander-"_

"HOLD ON!" Cupcake yelled. "Beema, stop typing."

As Beema stopped moving its tiny fingers along its keyboard, Cake stalked over to the faux-couple. "Mrs. Cupcake, I didn't tell you to wink at Lordy!"

"-.-. .- -.- . -..- / .. - .-. ... / - -.- .- -.- .-.-.- / .. - .-. ... / -. - - / .-. . .- .-.. .-.-.-"

"I don't like the way you're flirting with Lordy!" Cake glared at Mrs. Cupcake. (Just for the record, Mrs. Cupcake isn't married. Her name is literally Mrs.)

"I don't see him complainin'," Mrs. Cupcake replied, folding her arms.

Cake's tail puffed out bigger than ever. "YOU LITTLE-" Cake pounced on Mrs. Cupcake, sinking her claws into her icing.

As the next five minute continued in Fionna cheering and Lord Monochromicorn trying to break the two girls apart, Sheldon just murmured, _"Allons-y!"_

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 4<strong>

The next day, Fionna and Cake sat on their sofa, watching as Beema slowly printed out another page, now three, of their 'script.'

Fionna sighed, the only sound apart from the whirring of Beema's printer. "Beema, how long will it take to print out our scripts."

"Ninety-two hours."

The girls jumped. "NINETY-TWO HOURS?"

"Yes. You made me type a lot of material...About ninety-two hours."

"Cupcake...We should talk about our script."

"Yeah, we should go over it."

"I thought we typed some pretty good stuff. But I only think half of it is useful."

"Really? Me too!"

Fionna beamed. "For real?"

"Yeah! I was thinking the exact same thing!"

"Great!"

"Yeah!"

"You finally agree it's a melodrama!"

"Yeah-WAIT!" Cake caught herself just in time, and her tail twitched in annoyance. "No!"

"What?!"

"Musical!"

"WHAT?!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, _WHAT?!"_

The two girls, annoyed and furious, span to the confused computer in front of them. "Beema, who's right?!"

Beema sat still and silent for a few moments before going into sleep-mode. Its body went limp.

Fionna glared at her sister. "We'll ask her when she wakes up."

"No need. I know Beema'll use the best material!"

"I know that, too!"

"Well, then. I guess I'll see you at Drama Club, _Fionna._"

"I guess you will, _Cake."_

And with that, the two girls stormed off, leaving Beema alone and confused.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake didn't talk for the next three days. The only sounds exchanged between them were grunts and hisses, and the only time they looked at each other was to glare.<p>

Soon enough, it was time for Drama Club to begin. Prince Gumball, LSP, Lord Monochromicorn, Tree-Trunks, Sheldon, and Marshall Lee all came, as well as Mrs. Cucpake, Slime Prince, Peppermint Maid, Cinnamon Bun, and a random guy. They all chattered and laughed excitedly as they sipped their drinks. Even LSP was happy. Or, he didn't look unhappy. He wasn't glaring at anything.

A few moments later, Fionna and Cake stood before them, smiling for the first time in days.

"We're glad you could all make it for this week's Drama Club reenactment," Cake said proudly. "I hope ya'll in the mood for music."

"Get ready to be on the edge of your sets for tonight's melodrama!" Fionna added.

Cake glared at her sister, her tail crackling. "It's more of a musical. Right, Beema?"

"Ehhhh...aaaaahhhh...erm...?" Beema mumbled under its breath as it held out the scripts.

"I guess we'll see, _Cake,_" clipped Fionna, snatching the script.

"I guess we will, _Fionna,_" scoffed Cake as she snatched her script.

The audience clapped slowly, confused and uncomfortable as they whispered to one another. LSP just burped loudly.

Fionna looked down at her script and began. _"Hey, Cupcake. Could you hand me that apple?" _Fionna looked up at her script to glare at the computer console. "Beema, this isn't what we-"

"READ THE FRIKKIN' SCRIPT!" screeched Beema.

Fionna paled. _"Hey, Cupcake. Could you hand me that apple?"_

_"Sure thing, Fifi,_" Cake replied, handing her the toy apple.

_"Cupcake, you're such a good friend."_

_"Thanks, Fifi."_

_"No, I mean it. You're always there for me. I never have to be worried or angry or afraid because I know you'll be there to protect me. You've always been there and you always will, even when we disagree with each other. You're not only my sister, you're...my best friend..._" Fionna voice drifted into silence.

Cake paused, then said, _"Thanks, Fifi. I feel the same way. You've always cared for me. When I was sick, or scared, or sad, you were always the first one to cheer me up. We've always been best friends, and I know we always will be. Nothing will ever come between us..."_

There was a silence as the audience watched Fionna and Cake tear up a bit.

Fionna tossed her script away. "I LOVE YOU, CUPCAKE!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO, FIFI!"

The audience cheered madly as the two girls embraced each other, sobbing and blubbering out apologies. LSP didn't clap, though. Not because he was unimpressed, but because he was too busy bawling his eyes out.

"I'm sorry for fighting with you," Fionna whimpered as she brushed a tear away.

"Me too," Cake sniffled. "I was being stupid."

"Not as much as I was."

LSP managed to blubber out, "That...was great...I can't wait...for next week's reenactment!"

Beema lit up in joy. _"Allons-y!"_

Everyone laughed.

TRIVIA

All of the main characters appear in this episode except Ice Queen.

LSP's personality changed dramatically in this episode.

The quote, _"Allons-y!" _is another _Doctor Who _reference.


	50. Lethal Vice

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

The Lich Queen-a powerful undead witch and Aaa's most evil villain, and Lilly's nemesis. She wears a helm headpiece with deer-like antlers, some of which have broken off, horrific red lights as pupils peering out of empty eye sockets, and pale undead skin pulled tight against her nose-less skull. Her skin is frayed away from his lips revealing a wicked and perpetual grin, along with yellowing teeth. Her cloak is in multiple layers and is large and baggy showing, with some bags and chains poking out. She has a large cape that is severely torn at its end. Her arms are bare bones with various decayed tissues, and his skeletal hands burn with an eerie purple fire when she casts fire spells. The Lich Queen is also remarkably large, as large as Lilly.

**LETHAL VICE**

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake stand before the erupting volcano spewing pure evil for miles around..._

On the day Fionna the Human first encountered the Lich Queen, it was foggy and damp.

It was the time of the year when the nights brought showers and left morning dew on the grass. The Candy Kingdom's usual bright colors were tinted in a misty silver hue, and every surface was slick with water. The humidity made it difficult to breath clearly and it made your hair frizz madly.

Prince Gumball chose this day to bring Fionna and Cake to a Prophetic Bubble Ceremony. Each bubble contained a prophecy inside its thin surface, and so you had to look very carefully if you wanted a glimpse at your future. Possible future, that is. Not all Prophetic Bubbles were correct. The human girl, the feline, and the gummy royal all carried glass vials and circular wands. Fionna didn't know what the bubble-making substance in the vials was made of, but she overheard Prince Gumball mentioning "liquified sunlight" and "letting it dry in starlight for two months." The air was filled with them, as most didn't show anything.

Fionna tried once more to look into her newly-made Bubble, but just as she saw the hint of a silhouette, it burst. The liquid sparkled on her skin. "Cupcake, how are you doing?"

"Not so good," Cake replied, her pupils becoming more cat-like as she focused on a Bubble. As it burst, she said, "I keep seeing myself sleeping in pasta..."

"Make the Bubbles as big as you can," Prince Gumball instructed, as he blew a Bubble himself. Inside, you could clearly see the image of what looked like a boy made of fire, but it burst just as Prince Gumball turned around. It didn't matter how good you were at making Bubbles, they always burst in a matter of seconds. "And hold your breath when it's good." Today, Prince Gumball was wearing a purple piece of clothing that covered his entire body, minus his head and hands, with a purple belt. He also wore a darker-purple jacket that was so long it brushed against his ankles.

The two girls did as they were told, and Fionna looked into hers.

_Her...slaying a horrible ghost...and winning..._

Cake peered into hers.

_Cake...talking to a large pink creature...smiling..._

Prince Gumball looked into his.

_Two horrible purple lights glaring at him with pure hatred._

Prince Gumball gasped loudly. Every single bubble around them burst, and Fionna and Cake protected themselves from the shower they all brought. Prince Gumball closed his vial with trembling hands. "I have to go."

Fionna smiled hopefully. "Can we tag along?"

Prince Gumball debated with it for a long moment. Then, with an expression Fionna never saw him wear before, he replied, "Yes. It's time you did tag along."

Fionna and Cake high-fived.

"Here, put these on," Prince Gumball reached into his belt and took out two long golden necklaces, each with a small diamond similar to the one in his crown. "Pull back your ears, Fionna."

Fionna grabbed her ears and flattened them on her head, showing more of her head. Ever since she chopped it all off, it had been growing back, but for now, it just barely reached below her ears. As Prince Gumball slipped the necklace on, she felt a tingle in her chest, and then she felt her next breath come in cold and sweet, exhaling in a pale blue mist.

Prince Gumball slipped on Cake's as well. As the feline let out a puff of pale blue mist, her tail twitched in excitement.

"Girls, stay close to me," Prince Gumball commanded, and the girls took a step forward. Prince Gumball picked up one of the many vials of the bubble-making liquid and smashed it on the ground. It puddled there, like golden blood, before seeping into the ground. The girls barely had time to blink before they were suddenly lifting from the ground.

Fionna gasped as the bubble around them descended into the tree atop the castle. She thought the many branches would burst the bubble, sending them falling, but the branches were parted in a tunnel-like shape, allowing the bubble to pass through easily.

"In this tree is an ancient evil," Prince Gumball told the girls as they came to a clearing. "Trapped in a prison of copal."

The girls' jaws dropped.

The horrible creature before them was huge, as big as Lilly herself. Her face looked like a corpse: decayed skin pulled tight over a nose-less skull, the skin around the mouth torn away to reveal rotting, yellow teeth. Deer-like antlers poked from her head, above empty sockets. The only eyes in the sockets were small purple lights hat could haunt you for centuries if you looked right into them. Its arms were almost completely bare bone, with only a little bit of decayed skin here and there. The creature's cloak was baggy and torn, with multiple layers. Chains and bags poked out from the cloak, and a long, torn cape hung from the creature's back. Fionna wasn't certain, but she got the feeling it was a female.

"The Lich Queen," spat Prince Gumball, as if the name were a profanity.

_Ваша душа__..._جائے گا_..._געהרגעט_..._

Fionna rubbed at her ears, scrunching her nose. "Why do I keep hearing that voice?"

"The Lich Queen is trying to curse her way into your body, to get you to set her free. Those necklaces block her off, so do NOT take them off under ANY circumstances. Or else, you'll be completely defenseless."

As Prince Gumball spoke, a small, green slug crawled out of Fionna's backpack. It waves at you in a friendly manner.

"That's banaynays!" Fionna exclaimed.

The slug looked over its small shoulder, frowning. The Lich Queen's eyes bore into her unprotected mind.

The slug's eyes went deadly purple.

"Beyond Glacier Lake are the ruins of the Lich's lair. She tried to use her power to destroy all of Aaa."

The slug slimed its way over to the Lich Queen, faster than a slug could normally travel.

"But before she could, the legendary hero Lilly attacked her, and trapped her in the copal of this tree."

The slug approached the copal wall, and when it did, it slammed its head against it over and over, creating a small crack. The Lich Queen's body suddenly liquified into black substance, leaking through the crack.

"We..._**WHAT THE CHEESE?**_"

The girls gasped as they span around. The Lich Queen was on all fours, outside of the copal cage. She looked up at them, her purple-lit eyes furious as she snarled.

"Cupcake! Morning-star mode!"

"Right!" Cupcake immediately morphed her furry body into the large weapon, just as she had the day before the Biennial Gumball Ball. Fionna picked her up by the tail and swung her at the Lich Queen.

Just as Cake made impact with the evil witch, the Lich Queen disappeared into a large cloud of sickly black smoke. The smoke seeped into the branches of the tree, and immediately, the branches died, withering away into dust. Soon, a huge, gaping hole was implanted in the tree, and fog spilled inside.

"Quickly! To the secret room!" Prince Gumball grabbed the two girls by their collars and charged forward.

* * *

><p>They soon arrived in the secret room. Fionna immediately recognized it as the room she had first seen the Enchiridion in. Prince Gumball dashed over to the one, large silver cabinet set against the far wall, his jacket train swishing against his ankles. He whipped out a beautifully designed brass key from his hair, and stuck it into the small lock. "There is only one known weapon that carn harm the Lich Queen."<p>

The door swung open in a burst of silver light.

"..._The Armour of the Heroine Lilly."_

Fionna was in drooling awe as she stared at the armor. She took in all of the assets: a bejeweled cuirass, silver besagues, bronze rerebraces, gold couters, copper vambraces, bronze gauntlets, silver fauld, gold tassets, copper cuisses, silver poleyns, copper fan plates, gold greaves, and silver sabatons. It was the most amazing suit of armor she had ever seen, in both reality and in her dreams.

"Lilly's big' ol bod build..." Cake gasped, falling on her knees in overwhelming awe.

"Fionna, you have but one chance to defeat the Lich Queen," Prince Gumball told the human girl solemnly. "When the Lich is at her weakest point, smite her with the armor."

The world around Fionna suddenly burst into pure white light. Her skin tingled and her heart beat like bird wings. She felt weightless, free...like a cloud, almost.

When she returned to normal, she found that the entire suit of armor had fastened on her body. She didn't know if she put it on without knowing or if the armor fitted itself on her, but she knew it fit her perfectly. It felt like she wasn't even wearing it at all. It was a second layer of skin to her.

"Her only desire is to destroy all life," Prince Gumball told them, lifting up a golden sphere just as he done with the Enchiridion. Fionna looked inside and saw a large building. She couldn't see much of it, just that it was white and incredibly worn down. "If you fail...everyone will die..." Prince Gumball's eyes shone with fear and sorrow as the image of the building suddenly turned into an image of an enraged Lich Queen.

"That will NOT happen!" Fionna assured the prince. "I swear my life on it!"

Prince Gumball smiled warmly, and Fionna blushed. She also took note in the pink color that dusted his cheeks.

"There's something else."

Prince Gumball moved past Fionna to a large chest in the corner, flipping off the locks and swinging the top open. Fionna could make out a bundle of pink fabric. "The Lich Queen's layer is supposed to be very cold, and I would hate for you to get sick. I would like it if you take this scarf." He took out the bundle of fabric. It unrolled into a long strip, a foot from the stone floor.

"I made this myself," Prince Gumball told Fionna as he walked over, scarf in hand. "I've always been told that I'm good at crocheting, and I know you go into the Ice Kingdom a lot, so...here..." he looked away from Fionna as he held out the scarf. Cake set her ear against it, listening for any insects that may have crawled inside.

"I...care for you, Fionna..." Prince Gumball murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

Fionna took the scarf, unrolled it, and threw it around her neck, where the armor around it vanished, letting the end of it drape over her right shoulder. "It's fantastic."

Surprising Fionna even more, Prince Gumball hugged her. To her disbelief, Fionna didn't blush. She just hugged back, feeling his heat through her armor.

"Huggies," Cake waddled over to them and wrapped her paws around their knees.

There was a loud rattling sound. Prince Gumball, Fionna, and Cake jumped and turned to the windows, where the wooden shutters were rattling like crazy. Then, they burst open, the fog rolling into the room. A figure approached the window, large and furry. Fionna gasped and pulled out her sword.

"Bonjour," Ice Queen beamed as she appeared in the window, as if it were completely normal.

They all glared at her.

"Listen, friends, I have been considering this, and...well..." Ice Queen twiddled her fingers, her blue cheeks tinging red. "But...Fionna...and Cake...would you be as kind as to...givemeyourblessingsoIcanmarryPrinceGumball?"

There was a long moment of angry, confused silence before Cake groaned, "Ain't nobody got time for this..."

And she slammed the window right in the Ice Queen's face.

"I NEVER-!" Ice Queen shrieked from outside.

"Go, Fionna," commanded Prince Gumball, turning to the human girl. "Track the Lich Queen by her trail of evil."

"Allons-y!" Fionna proclaimed as she chucked Cake down the porthole of the room, ready for the biggest adventure of her life.

* * *

><p>It wasn't hard to find the Lich Queen's trail. The 'trail' was obvious, as the ground was scorched black, and the trees were withered and dead. The air smelled like burning ivy, which was very odd.<p>

Fionna was surprised to find that it was very easy to run in the armor. Not only did it feel perfectly fine, but the temperature was perfect. She was worried that it would be freezing, or sweltering hot, but it felt like she wasn't even wearing it. She wanted to wear it forever.

"This is our first 'Fate of the World' prob, Fifi!" Cake called to her sister, voice pumping in excitement and exhilaration.

"I know! I'm excited but terrified at the same time!" Fionna called back, tucking the scarf back into her armor clumsily.

"Are we gonna get there in time?"

"Yeah, we will! All we have to do is get to Glacier Lake before the Lich Queen does and-GAH!"

Fionna screamed as she ran into something large and floating, like a gigantic bird. She stumbled on her feet, as did the thing she ran into, and she soon found herself in a large ditch. Cake jumped down after her.

"Sorry 'bout that!" Ice Queen giggled as she hovered over Fionna. "I'm just so nervous-"

"BUMP OFF, ICE QUEEN!" Fionna kicked the Ice Queen in the gut as Cake stretched her back onto the trail.

The Ice Queen wasn't done. She flew after the girls, hovering above them. "Come on, gals! I'm serious about Gumball! See? I wrote all these poems about him!"

She dug into her royal blue gown and took out tons of papers, all scribbled in random poems. Fionna growled as she swatted away the papers, her patience wearing thin quickly.

"It's not fair! He always hangs out with you two! It's not like YOU wanna marry him!"

Fionna blushed crimson at that one, as she had very often fantasized about marry Prince Gumball before. Knowing they were running out of time (and getting very annoyed), she picked up a large, pointy stick from the trail and chucked it at the Ice Queen. "WHY WON'T YOU GO AWAY?"

"I already told you! I want your blessing so I can marry Prince Gumball!"

The two girls ignored her and continued running, over a tall hill.

Now Ice Queen was getting impatient. She raised her hands, and an icy dome formed around the girls, the pale sunlight glittering through the frozen water.

Ice Queen opened a door in the dome, and closed it behind her, as if she were walking into her house from a hard day at work. "PLEASE give me your blessing. I-I...I'll sing for you! _Oh say can you seeeeee-_"

"No."

"Oh, come on! If you guys bless our wedding, then maybe he'll really come to love me!"

"GO AWAY, ICE QUEEN!"

"I WILL ONCE YOU BLESS OUR WEDDING!"

"THAT'S IT!" Fionna flexed herself, trying to activate the armor. When nothing happened, she tried again. Nothing. "How does this armor work?"

She punched herself in the chest.

The entire suit of armor began to glow bright gold. Fionna felt her heartbeat soar, and her blood pump like drums. She felt herself pick up off the ground, and her arms lifted up without her moving them. Bolts of fiery green energy blasted out of them, searing a hole in the ice of the dome. She tried to stop, but it her arms only moved. Cake gasped and hit the floor. Ice Queen flew up in order to stop from being blasted.

"HOW DO I TURN IT OFF?" Fionna screamed in panic.

"HIT YOURSELF!"

Fionna punched herself in the chest once more.

She hit the dirt as she felt the power drain from her body. Cake picked her up and chucked her through the hole that was seared into the ice dome's wall.

Ice Queen screamed after them, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

Fionna stopped this time. She stood still for a few moments before turning to the Ice Queen, her face set in determination. "I am Fionna the Human. I'm fourteen years old. I'm a heroine, and I'm the girl whose going to save YOUR life and all who live in the Land of Aaa!"

And with that, she ran off.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Fionna and Cake..." Prince Gumball murmured to himself as he sat in the secret room, and ice cream masseuse rubbing his shoulders in order to cease the stress. "Please be OK..." He reached behind him and scooped out a glob of ice cream from the masseuse's head. "Pbweaz be okway...pbweaz..."<p>

The locked window behind him began to rattle. Prince Gumball turned around to see the lock on the shutters trembling by a force on the other side. "Oh...come on...open..."

The window burst open in a blast of icy cold air.

"ICE QUEEN?!" Prince Gumball's voice was filled in rage and confusion. "GO AWAY!"

"I didn't WANT to do this," Ice Queen said sincerely, climbing through the window sadly. "But by refusing to bless our wedding, Fionna and Cake have forced me to kidnap you." With a wave of her hand, Prince Gumball's arms and legs were bound in large blocks of ice.

Prince Gumball glared fiercely. "THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"I know! But I'll show them the consequences of toying with love!"

Ice Queen grabbed Prince Gumball by his arm bindings, pulling him out the window. "NO!"

* * *

><p>After ten more minutes of running, Fionna and Cake finally came to the shores of Glacier Lake. Once again, the Lich Queen's trail was obvious by dark, foul-smelling water topped with dead fish, bobbing on its surface. They ran to the shoreline, the trail splashing freezing cold water on their feet, and Cake pointed out into the water. "There!" Fionna could see two antlers pointing out of the black water. The Lich Queen.<p>

The Lich Queen saw them as well. Though she couldn't narrow her eyes, Fionna knew that if she could, she'd be giving them a deathly glare. She took off like a bullet.

"Come on, Cupcake!" Fionna tossed her sister into the water with a splash.

When Cake resurfaced, she was long, slender, almost banana-shaped, with a space in her center. "I'M YOUR CANOE CAT!"

Fionna immediately hopped inside, feeling Cake's fluffy fur tickle her bare legs. Cake began to move, and Fionna leaned forward in anticipation. It was ruined, however, when Cake only moved a few few per second, as she had to paddle her way through the water.

Fionna turned around, pointing her hands at the water. Nothing happened.

Fionna sighed, then smiled, patting her stomach. "Hey. It's me."

The suit of armor vibrated, as if to say, _Leave me alone._

"I'm sorry for punching you earlier," Fionna told the suit of armor. Then, for good measure, she kissed her bicep.

The armor was definitely pleased. Once more, Fionna felt her heartbeat soar, her pulse pound, and her entire body surge with power and energy. The second she set her gauntlet-clad hands into the freezing water, they glowed bright blue and, with a tsunami of water, the girls were dashing across the water, _as fast as a bullet._

Fionna whooped as she felt her bunny ears bend backwards in the intense weird, and her breathing became labored. Cake whooped as well, but she then had to hold her breath in order to avoid swallowing the foul water.

"CLOSING IN ON TARGET!" Fionna yelled to Cake over the pounding wind. As their makeshift canoe came closer and closer to the Lich Queen, Fionna raised her right hand from the water. They didn't slow down a bit, and Fionna's hand began to bloom in green flames. "Come on...come on...and...!"

"Hey, gurls," Ice Queen floated in front of them, Prince Gumball clutched to her side.

_**"PRINCE GUMBALL!"**_

Fionna shoved her hands below her. They hit the water, and soon, Fionna and Cake were exploding through the air on the top of a watery geyser.

Ice Queen groaned. "Aw, man..."

She and Prince Gumball were doused in the foul-smelling, slimy water, soaking their hair and clothes. Ice Queen hissed in disgust as she wiped the water from her eyes with her icy blue fingers. "Eeeew..."

_**"ICE QUEEN!" **_Fionna screeched at the blue-skinned royal, her face screwing up in rage.

"SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!" Ice Queen screeched back, gesturing to Prince Gumball.

"GIRLS!" Prince Gumball yelled, receiving their attention. "FOCUS! We can't let the Lich Queen reach her lair!"

Prince Gumball was interrupted by an ear-shattering explosion that sent Fionna and Cake falling on their knees. A blast of icy cold air blew at them, chilling them to the bone. Screams and screeches of fear and anger filled the air. Fionna and Cake turned around to see a geyser of tormented souls fire up at the sky. In a matter of seconds, the entire Land of Aaa was basked in a sickly purple glow.

_"SHE MADE IT!" _Prince Gumball screamed in a panic.

"WE GOT THIS!" Fionna called to him as she and Cake darted towards the source of the explosion.

* * *

><p>The source of the explosion turned out to be a collapsing building, sort of like a mansion, but it had an important atmosphere. Its white paint was peeled and worn away by years of water damage and radiation. The 147 windows were shattered and broken, shards sticking to their frames. White pillars stood in the middle of the house, looking ready to collapse. A flag wavered above the building, nothing more than a few shreds of red, white, and blue.<p>

As Fionna opened the door (which fell of its hinges and collapsed at her feet) a gust of cold wind blew at her, smelling of rotting life. Fionna took a deep breath and charged inside, Cake right behind her.

"Where are you guys going?" Ice Queen flew up to the door as they went inside, Prince Gumball still clutched to her side. "What's going on?"

Fionna walked into the room that seemed to be an entrance hall. The white and cream-colored tiles on the floor were decaying and were being covered in moss. The pillars were falling apart, and the chandelier had fallen from the ceiling in a splatter of crystals. Skeletons were scattered around, dressed in business suits and dresses. A purple mist rose from them, and they began to tremble. Soon, they stood on their feet, snarling and hissing at the girls.

Fionna acted quickly. She raised her hand, and green bolts of energy blasted at the walking corpses, burning them to crisps. "We don't have time for this!"

"Let's go this way!" Cake told her, pointing ahead.

Fionna nodded, but just as she moved, something dry and muddy clamped on her ankle. Looking down, she saw more corpses were rising from beneath the tiles of the floor, hissing fiercly. Fionna broke away, but they ripped off her green backpack. With no sight or other senses, they began to tear at the backpack, spilling out all its contents, from jewels to weapons.

Fionna stopped in her tracks. "My stuff!"

"Leave it!" Cake said, tugging her sister alongside her.

* * *

><p>Outside, Ice Queen was still debating whether or not to go inside. "Jeez...I wanna go after them, but this mansion is really creepy..."<p>

Prince Gumball said nothing.

"Whelp!" Ice Queen smiled. "Creepy is as creepy does!"

She charged inside.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake ran through many more rooms, halls and staircases, blasting away any walking corpses that stood in their way. The smell of rotting plants and the feeling of pure evil grew and intensified as they continued to room.<p>

As they came to a particular white doorway, Fionna held out a hand to stop Cake. "Hold up."

Fionna poked her head just around the frame of the door. The room was circular, with tall windows shattered so that fog rolled inside. Scrappy flags stood on tall poles, and torn drapes hung from the destroyed window frame. Pieces of wooden furniture littered the carpeted floor, which was burnt heavily. A large circle of the floor had been cut out to make a circular pit, put of which bloomed purple souls and screams of agony.

"The Lich Queen!"

The Lich Queen sat at the edge of the pit, leaned over with her bony hands sunk inside. As Fionna watched, the purple souls drifted up the bones of her arms, disappeared into her cloak. The small purple specks she had for eyes blazed with power as she gave a dry, horrible laugh.

"She's gettin' her voodoo powers back!" Cake told Fionna in a gasp.

"Not on my watch," Fionna replied, her hand already started to blaze green.

She pulled her hand back and swung it as though she were throwing a baseball. A ball of green energy shot from her hand, hitting right in front of the Lich Queen. The Lich Queen hissed in fury as she was blasted onto her back.

"PREPARE THOUSELF," Fionna cried, running at the Lich Queen at full speed with Cake latched onto her back. She clenched her fist, and it blazed a bright golden color as it pulsed power through her veins. "TO BE SMITED IN THE NAME OF GUMBA-"

The Lich Queen caught her wrist just as she flew at her, holding a bony finger to her nonexistent lips.

Fionna's eyes widened.

The Lich Queen's hold on Fionna's wrist tightened. The entire suit of armor on Fionna's body sizzled with heat before disappearing, leaving Fionna's skin and clothes dusted in black soot.

Fionna's eyes widened more.

The Lich Queen pulled her hand back and chucked Fionna to the other side of the pit. Fionna landed with a grunt, her sooty body leaving a black skid on the floor.

"What's up?" Ice Queen smiled as she appeared in the doorway. Then, seeing the Lich Queen with her hands ablaze, she let out a yelp.

The Lich Queen's hands blasted a sphere of purple power at Fionna. Fionna side-stepped it, stumbling backwards, but the sphere of power swiped at her right arm. Fionna cried out in pain as she felt her arm explode in pain.

"THAT'S IT!" Cake snarled, her tail puffing out in fury as she charged like a bull at the Lich Queen. "NO ONE HURTS MY FIFI!"

Cake's claws shot from her paws like razors as she pounced at the Lich Queen, eyes ablaze in fury and teeth needle-sharp.

The Lich Queen was faster. Her bony hand pulsed with purple-colored power as she punched Cake in the face.

Cake didn't scream. She couldn't. She sailed backwards, right onto Fionna. Fionna's head smacked onto the floor.

Prince Gumball gasped.

When Fionna opened her eyes, she realized that the necklace Prince Gumball had given her to protect her had shattered on the floor next to her.

_Fionna..._

It was the first time Fionna heard AND understood the Lich Queen's voice. It was sopronic and faux-sweet, seductive and alluring.

Fionna felt her body being filled with the Lich Queen's evil. Her blood ran cold and her heart beat once per minute. Everything shut down, and she found she couldn't move. Her blue-green eyes flamed purple.

Fionna turned around, but not on her own will. She was forced to turn around. The Lich Queen smiled (or at least, Fionna thought she did. She couldn't tell.) at her in an almost motherly manner. Fionna couldn't see anything other than the Lich Queen. Everything else was just eternal darkness.

_Come to me..._

Fionna felt her body being pulled towards the Lich Queen. Her feet moved forward, hypnotized by the Lich Queen's power...

Fionna-the REAL Fionna-realized what she was doing and forced herself backwards. This caused her head to pound like a drum and her heart to clench painfully. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

_Aren't you...cold...?_

Evil overpowered her once more. Fionna looked back up at the Lich Queen. She saw that her pool of power had arrived in her hypnotic world. Instead of souls screaming in agony and evil drifting into the air, it looked soothing and warm...so warm...

_Step into the pool, Fionna...Aren't you...cold...?_

Without even moving, Fionna arrived at the edge of the pool. She realized what she was about to do just as she lifted a foot above the purple souls. She wobbled, pulling herself back. The pain came back stronger than before.

"I"M NOT COLD!" Fionna's voice came out in more voices than one. One voice was her normal voice, while the other was deep and slightly demonic. "I'M WEARING A SCARF!"

The Lich Queen became angry. Her entire body burst into purple flames, and she raised her arms at Fionna. _Foolish girl..._

Fionna clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the agonizing blast. It never came, but in its place was an odd...fluttery...tingling. Opening her eyes, she found that she was trapped in an invisible bubble. The flames blasted against it. Looking down, she saw her scarf was glimmering, as if diamonds were embedded in its fabric.

"The scarf..." Fionna whispered. "It's...keeping me safe..."

_I care about you, Fionna._

Fionna felt her heart drum not unpleasantly. Her blood beat like dove's wings. Her skin felt like it was made of sunlight. Every breath came in a heavenly gust.

"This...is it..." Fionna whispered. She felt her purple eyes go back to their original green-blue color, but they were glimmering like diamonds with the tears that sprung in them. "The most powerful weapon against all evil...The power of...l...l...lo...loooourve..."

Fionna blasted the Lich Queen out of her mind so hard the entire void of blackness blasted with her. She was standing back in the lair, before the pool of power. The Lich Queen, Prince Gumball, and the Ice Queen stared at her in shock.

Fionna didn't waste time. She launched herself onto the Lich Queen in such a way she felt as if she were weightless for a moment. So weightless, in fact, she landed on the Lich Queen's head, between her antlers.

Fionna took her scarf and swung it around the Lich Queen's neck. She pulled so hard her muscles ached and her heart drummed...

...so hard the Lich Queen's head fell to the floor a moment later.

Fionna fell through the air as the Lich Queen's body fell to the floor in a puff of foul-smelling smoke. Her fall was cushioned by the cloak that the Lich Queen had left behind. Still, it was enough to rush the air out of her.

Cake didn't hesitate. She curved around the pool of power, with no energy to stretch. She kneeled next to Fionna, cupping her face in her paws. "Fifi!" She patted her cheeks repeatedly.

Fionna's eyes fluttered open. She sat up with a groan, holding her forehead with her paw.

"Fionna!"

Fionna looked up to see Prince Gumball looking at her. Fionna had never seen such pride, happiness, and tear-bringing joy in the royal's eyes. Prince Gumball was looking at her in such a way her entire bloodstream filled with butterflies. "You did it, Fionna! YOU DID IT!"

"We did?" Ice Queen repeated in confusion, earning glares from the girls, because of course, she hadn't done a single thing but screw things up. "WE DID!" Ice Queen hugged Prince Gumball, causing him to flinch and stifle a groan. "This experience changes everything! Listen, I'm apologize, especially to you, Gumball. I love you and I'll wait until you're ready for me. For now, I'll set you free."

With a soft whistling sound, the heavy blocks of ice binding Prince Gumball's arms and legs vanished. "Be free!"

And with that, Ice Queen dropped Prince Gumball.

_Right. _

_Into._

_The._

_Pool._

_Of._

_Power._

Cake gasped.

Fionna let out a small scream.

Prince Gumball was deadly silent as his head sunk below the surface of the screaming purple pool.

Ice Queen stared, lips in a thin line and milky eyes wide. Then, laughing nervously, she said, "Oopsy...?"

Fionna and Cake said nothing. They were too busy gawking at the place where Prince Gumball once was.

Ice Queen rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

TRIVIA

First episode where the Waving Slug has a major role.

Ice Queen was in the presence of the Lich Queen without any of Prince Gumball's gem. She could be protected from her tiara.

The Lich Queen's lair is the White House, destroyed after the Grear Fungi War.

Fionna's hair has grown back some, as read in this episode.

Fionna's speech she makes to the Ice Queen is based off of the _Doctor Who _speech in the episode, "Voyage of the Damned"

This is the author's favorite _Doctor Who _episode, by the way.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

This plot is continued in the next episode.

The visions that Prince Gumball, Cake, and Fionna see are glimpses of future episodes.

STORYLINE ANALYSIS

If Prince Gumball had not taken Fionna and Cake to the Lich Queen's cage, she would not have escaped.

If Fionna and Cake had blessed the Ice Queen's marriage to Prince Gumball, Prince Gumball would not have fallen into the pool of power.


	51. Lethal Return

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

The Lich Queen-a powerful undead witch and Aaa's most evil villain, and Lilly's nemesis. She wears a helm headpiece with deer-like antlers, some of which have broken off, horrific red lights as pupils peering out of empty eye sockets, and pale undead skin pulled tight against her nose-less skull. Her skin is frayed away from his lips revealing a wicked and perpetual grin, along with yellowing teeth. Her cloak is in multiple layers and is large and baggy showing, with some bags and chains poking out. She has a large cape that is severely torn at its end. Her arms are bare bones with various decayed tissues, and his skeletal hands burn with an eerie purple fire when she casts fire spells. The Lich Queen is also remarkably large, as large as Lilly.

**LETHAL RETURN**

_Title Card_

_The inhabitants of Aaa stand over the newly-dug grave, all with tears spilling down their faces. Fionna holds a pink jacket in her hand as Cake holds a small crown in her paw..._

Fionna had always hated hospitals.

For one thing, they were so cramped. All the times Fionna had been in a hospital, you were elbow-to-elbow with patients, doctors, nurses, and weeping guests. For another thing, it had the most horrible sounds. Cries of agonizing pain, shrieks of weeping guests, the cries of children being vaccinated, and the shouts of doctors to their assistants. And it just _reeked _of pain and death of people who could have been saved. Hospitals always gave Fionna a squirmish feeling in her stomach, a disgusted knot that only vanished when she left.

The knot in her stomach was as big as the sun itself as Prince Gumball was rushed into the ER.

She stood on the left, front-corner side of Prince Gumball's gurney, her hand on the cool metal bar. Ice Queen ran opposite of her, tears streaming down her face. Behind them were Dr. Ice Pop and Nurse Cheesecake, and following them were Cake and Lord Monochromicorn. _They _were tailed by all of the princesses of Aaa, who were contacted immediately. The last to follow the gurney were the citizens of the Candy Kingdom, all fretting over the well-fare of their prince.

Fionna looked down at Prince Gumball. Or, at least what seemed to be left of him. Most of him was covered by a simple white sheet that was tucked into the gurney's mattress. His entire body had melted in the pool of power, and had cooled into big, mushy glob. His pink skin, usually gummy and smooth, had turned a horrible eggplant color and was now bubbly and gooey. All that remained intact was his crown, which was still piping-hot to the touch. Fionna could see three lines in the form, two small and one long. She reckoned these were his eyes and mouth.

"What's his condition, Dr. Ice Pop?" Fionna heard Nurse Cheesecake ask as they blasted through another pair of folding doors.

"He's completely disgusting, over 90% of his body," Dr. Ice Pop responded, "The other 10% is crazy gross."

"Will he make it?"

Dr. Ice Pop's voice was grave. "I don't know, Nurse Cheesecake..."

They finally pounded into the ER. Prince Gumball was pushed to the center of the room, where the light was at its best. The citizens and the princesses backed up to give the doctor and nurses room to work. The only people who stayed next to the gurney (besides Dr. Ice Pop and his nurses) were Fionna and the Ice Queen, something that annoyed Fionna very much.

Prince Gumball was immediately hooked to a heart monitor, the needle jabbed blindly into the bubbling mess. The green lines were short and almost flat.

"Three scoops of sprinkles, hurry." Dr. Ice Pop instructed. The nurses immediately grabbed a bag of colorful sprinkles and measured out three cups, pouring them onto Prince Gumball's body.

The heart monitor flat-lined. "WE'RE LOSING HIM!"

"NO!" Ice Queen shrieked, tears still pouring from her milky white eyes. "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED! DON'T LEAVE ME ALO-!"

Fionna couldn't stop her fist from colliding with the Ice Queen's cheek. Cake pulled her sister back with her stretched paws. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Fionna, wait."

Fionna froze at the sound of Dr. Ice Pop's voice. "What? What is it?"

"His sugar levels are stabilizing."

As Fionna watched, the glob of slime that was once her crush began to mold and gurgle. It moved on its own, small bubbles rising on its surface as it moved. A quiff of gummy hair began to form, and the lines of Prince Gumball's face began to form correctly. Prince Gumball was finally back to his old self, but he still looked ill. His skin was thistle-colored and his rosy hair was pale. But he was alive.

Everyone in the room cheered excitedly, the citizens and princesses clutching each other in excited hugs. Ice Queen cheered too, still holding her stinging cheek.

"Yes...I'm fine..." Prince Gumball's voice told them. His voice was a hoarse whisper, and it seemed very distant and lost, as if he weren't really there. "I...need to rest..."

"My husband!" Ice Queen beamed at the ill royal in front of her, the pink of her cheek pounding against the blue of her skin. "Is there anything wrong with him? I can't see through my blinding pain."

"He's perfectly fine," Dr. Ice Pop replied, writing something down on a clipboard. "Why?"

"Well..." Ice Queen tugged on her scraggly white locks. "It's just that...after the prince fell into the...purple...pool...thingy...I saw something odd happen. Something I don't quite-"

Ice Queen cut off in a shriek as a ruby sword sliced through the air next to her, jabbing into the tiled floor next to her. Ice Queen shambled backwards, holding up an icy hand. "No! Stop! You have to listen to me!"

"NO!" Fionna snarled at the royal witch, as Cake struggled to pull her back. "JUST SHUT YOUR FACE, OLD LADY!"

Ice Queen was silent for a moment, eyes widened in surprise. Then, she let out a sound between a scoff and a laugh. "Old? I'm not _old._"

Cake, her paws pressed against Fionna's tummy, narrowed her eyes and told her, "Uh, _yeah, _you are."

To the side, the princes of Aaa all murmured in agreement. In the doorway, the Candy People nodded their heads.

Ice Queen looked crushed and confused. She looked down at her hands. Blue and icy, as well as dry and wrinkled at the joints. Old. She was old. Old and...and crazy. "I...I understand." Ice Queen stood, and her heart clenched in despair when she found she struggled to do so. "I-I'll leave now." Ice Queen floated over to the stain-glassed window, holding up a hand. The glass glazed over in frosty patterns before vanishing completely. Ice Queen stood still for a moment, looking out into the hills beyond he windowsill. "I'm going now, Prince. I...apologize if my age disgusted you..." She hugged her arms, and once more, she felt the wrinkles of her skin. "I guess people don't respect elders like they used to-"

_**"GET OUT OF HERE!" **_Fionna shrieked, seriously considering taking her sword and finishing the Ice Queen then and there.

For the first time, Ice Queen actually looked hurt at one of Fionna's outbursts. She flinched, ridiculously-large eyebrows curling in sadness. Then, her expression hardened, and she stepped over to the bed of the window. "Goodbye."

The last time the Ice Queen was seen that day, frozen tears were dripping down her cheeks.

Fionna groaned in annoyance and turned to Prince Gumball. "Sorry 'bout that, Gubbles."

"The ice witch...is a weak...fool..."

Fionna nodded in agreement, but Cake felt her tail twitch. Something was definitely off.

"Fionna! Fionna!"

Fionna turned around to see Raggedy Prince running towards her, something dangling from his glass crown. Fionna jumped when she realized that it was her green backpack. Or, rather, a perfect duplication. "The other princes and I made you a new backpack!"

"Whoa!" Fionna took the backpack from the rag-doll royal with ease, as there was nothing inside. Luckily, she hadn't kept anything valuable in her last backpack. "Thanks, Raggedy P."

"Your welcome," Raggedy Prince replied as he dashed off, his fabric tinged pink.

Cake turned to the royal on the gurney. "You look like doggie doo right now. But we're going to honey you up good!"

"We should lead him to his bedroom, right?"

"Yeah, then we can do karaoke."

Prince Gumball's eyes began to flutter.

"Can we do _Falcon Village?_"

"Only if we can do _Rockchild, _too."

Prince Gumball's eyes shut close, and the voices of the girls faded...

* * *

><p>"Prince...Prince..."<p>

Prince Gumball's eyes squinted open.

"SURPRISE!"

Prince Gumball took in his surroundings. He was clothed now, dressed in his pajamas. He was laying on a soft, comfy bed, rather than the stiff gurney. His bed. In his bedroom. The ceiling was a pink dome, the rose walls were lined in carnation cabinets filled with salmon books, arranged in alphabetical order. The floor was a more periwinkle color, but he could barely see it. The entire room was filled with mountains of stuffed animals, everything from the classical teddy bear to one that looked exactly like Lord Monochromicorn. They stacked so high they reached the top of the cabinets. The dome ceiling was packed with balloons of all colors, with shining streamers hanging from them. But there wasn't a single purple one. Fionna and Cake stood before him, beaming like Cheshire cats.

"We got every stuffed animal from every toy store in Aaa JUST FOR YOU!" proclaimed Fionna.

"Aaaaand we got you three hundred balloons!" Cake added, furry arms wiggling.

Prince Gumball said nothing.

Fionna tapped the tip of her left foot on the back of her right foot, biting her lip. Then, nervously, she said, "Uh...Prince Gumball?"

At first, Prince Gumball made a low sound at the back of his throat. Then, suddenly, he arched forward with a sickening crack, in a perfect right angle.

"HOLY JEEZ!" Cake's fur puffed out madly and she dove behind Fionna. The one thing that Cake hated most in the world (next to Fionna getting harmed) was paranormal activity. "WHAT THE FREAK'S WRONG WITH HIM?"

"Easy, Cupcake," Fionna told her sister in a whisper, "We want him to feel better, not worse."

"I know, Fifi. But my tail's goin' crazy. Something's not right here."

"It's probably all the stuff in the pool inside him. All we have to do is nurse him back to health."

"Alright...But I got my eyes peeled," Cake warned her, her eyes narrowed.

The two girls turned back to the bed, only to find that Prince Gumball was no longer there. The girls gasped as they heard a small clatter come from the open bathroom doors.

The two girls rushed inside. There, on the amaranth tiled floor, in front of the corn-silk sink, next to the hummingbird-designed bathtub, Prince Gumball was going through the contents of his rose-colored cabinets. He picked up bottles, looked at their labels, and tossed it behind him if it wasn't what he was looking for (apparently.) As he reached for a bottle of rat poison, Fionna and Cake rushed over to him. "Prince Gumball, no! You don't need to be out of bed!"

Fionna picked Prince Gumball up, surprised to find that he was the weight of a barbie doll. Prince Gumball didn't try to break free or wiggle out of her grasp. He just went limp.

As Fionna laid Prince Gumball back on the bed, pulling the ruby quilt back over his body. "Prince Gumball...I have to tell you something." Fionna was about to continue, but she stopped when she saw Cake watching her intently. "Erm...Cupcake...?" Fionna nodded her head towards the door.

Cake tried to decipher her gesture. Then, with a surprised fluff of fur, she smiled and said, "Alright, alright. No one can say I don't know when I'm not wanted." Stepping away from the bed, Cake added, "I'll go get some chicken soup."

Cake morphed her body into the shape of a bulldozer, and she pushed her way through the mountains of stuffed animals until she finally reached the door. Her paws pattered down the hall.

Fionna cleared her throat, trying to decide where to start. "Prince Gumball...um..." Fionna reached into her new backpack and pulled out the scarf Prince Gumball had knitted her. She rubbed the fabric in her hands, noting that it was singed with soot and she would have to wash it later. She also noted, for the first time, that there was a small silver heart in one corner. "This scarf you gave me, it uh...it protected me. The Lich Queen nearly jacked up my head, but the scarf protected me. So I wanted to say...Thanks. For knitting this scarf with the power of lo-_liking someone a lot. _Because I like you. A lot."

Prince Gumball said nothing. He just stared at her.

Fionna blushed tomato red, and she giggled. She GIGGLED, she was so nervous! "Uh...yeah, so you need to rest."

She turned on her heel, but Prince Gumball's hoarse voice spoke up, "Fionna...I need you to get some things for me..."

Tucking the scarf back into her newly-made backpack, Fionna nodded. "Of course."

"Priiiiiince~!"

Peppermint Maid and Cake stepped through the canyon of stuffed animals, approaching the bed. Peppermint Maid held a silver tray, on which there was a steaming aqua bowl of chicken soup. One of Cake's father's recipes, bound to heal Prince Gumball with celery, whole chicken, slices of onion, and carrots. Peppermint Maid beamed at her master. "We made you some soup!"

When Peppermint Maid saw Prince Gumball, she made a sound between a hiccup and a gasp as she dropped the bowl onto the floor with a crash.

Prince Gumball was whispering to Fionna, his voice low and hoarse.

Suddenly, Peppermint Maid got down on all fours, her canines sharpened like Marshall Lee's. She hissed at Prince Gumball before bounding out of the room.

Cake's tail danced in annoyed confusion. Something was wrong, but she wasn't sure what.

"Cupcake!"

Cake jumped at the sound of Fionna's voice right behind her. As she turned, Fionna continued, "I've gotta go get some things for PG. I'll be back in a min."

Before Cake could retort or question, Fionna brushed past her, through the doorway and down the hall.

Cake turned to Prince Gumball as the door slammed close. He was laying on his back, his legs straight as needles and his arms slightly spread from his torso. His skin had taken on a blue-green tint, something that neither Fionna or Cake had noticed before. His breaths came from his mouth, ragged and gasping, as if he were struggling to take in oxygen.

What Cake noticed most was his eyes. Usually a deep purple, with small bubbles of pink, they had gone entirely black, except for a speck of purple in each. She rubbed her eyes, sure she had seen wrong, and when she opened them, the prince's eyes had returned to normal.

Confusion trickled up her spine.

"H-hey, Prince Gumball," said Cake, her voice on edge, just like the rest of her. "Uh...so how are you feelin'?"

Prince Gumball said nothing, but his gummy eyebrows arched in a scowl.

Cake shuddered under his angry gaze. Then, smiling, she said, "I know! I'll read a poem to you! You love it when I read to you!"

Cake stepped over to the periwinkle desk in the left wall. She scanned the many books on the shelf above, taking in all the titles. "Here's a good one! _Meet Me By the Riverside and other Poems!_"

Cake pulled the large, flowery book from the shelf and molded her backside into the shape of a chair. Clearing her throat, she began.

_"Meet me by the riverside,_

_The man said to his wife._

_So we may be side-by-side,_

_For the rest of our lifes."_

Prince Gumball snarled, though it went unnoticed by Cake.

_"For he was of red,_

_and she of blue,_

_And when they wed,_

_They knew of the trouble_

_Their marriage would stew._

_The man waited a year,_

_And another year more,_

_And ten years after that,_

_He waited upon the shore._

_But the wife never showed._

_He ne'er saw of her any more._

_And the man,_

_He waited so long,_

_He died upon the shore._

_And when he left from his life_

_He flew into the heavens,_

_Where,_

_To his glee,_

_He saw his wife,_

_Where she had been waiting _

_For his presence."_

Cake sighed. "That's always been one of my fav-HOLY MOTHER OF GORGONZOLA!"

Cake looked around the room. All of the balloons that had once been high up in the ceiling had melted into a sllick wax, creating a blood-like lake of multiple colors on the floor. The animals' fur had all turned pale and scraggly, and their eyes, once emotionless and unmoving, were suddenly filled with absolute fear.

Cake felt every hair on her body rise. She turned to Prince Gumball, and she jumped.

Prince Gumball was jerking madly, his bones snapping and his spine crackling as his body arched this way and that, in angles that were not meant to be. He hissed and snarled like a gnarled beast, and words of foreign language were roared in-between.

"Yeah...that one was kinda sad..." Cake hesitated, then smiled. "Why not we pick out another book?"

Cake stood from her chair-or rather, she molded the chair-part of her body back to the rest of her-but before she could step back over to the bookshelf, Prince Gumball roared. He arched forward, but this time, his bed arched with him. He arched backwards, and the bed mimicked him.

Suddenly, the most nightmarish thing happened. The colorful ocean that covered the floor turned purple, and Cake distinctly remembered her and Fionna buying NO purple balloons, as it would remind Prince Gumball of the pool in the Lich Queen's lair. Then, the purple wax sprang into bright purple flames that chilled her to the bone. On top of that, every stuffed animal went completely bone-chilling. Their plastic eyes turned into purple flames, and their beaks and muzzles shot out in jagged teeth. And they were all _snarling._

Cake made a small whimpering sound, backing away from the mountains of stuffed animals. Something icy cold touched her back, and she turned around.

Prince Gumball was staring down at her, both his eyeballs nothing but purple flames. Every single inch of his gummy skin was melting like wax, dripping onto the bed and floor in icy cold pellets. As Cake watched in pure terror, Prince Gumball's slanting mouth gurgled out a single word.

_"Caaaaaaake..."_

* * *

><p>A half-second later, Cake was bursting through the door, running down the hall and jumping behind a corner. <em>"OHGLOBOHGLOBOHGLOB!"<em>

Cake took a deep breath, but her heartbeat never slowed. She thought hard, running the grotesque images through her mind. Maybe Prince Gumball had been poisoned by the stuff in the pool? Or maybe the Lich Queen had bitten him when no one was looking? Or-

Cake stopped thinking as Fionna turned a corner on the other side of the hall, her arms full of very suspicious items. "Fifi, stop!" Cake pulled her sister over and looked down at her arms. "What IS that stuff?"

"Some groceries Prince Gumball needed," shrugged Fionna. "Dragon blood, liquified moonlight, crushed serpent fangs..."

Prince Gumball appeared out of nowhere, looking perfectly fine and normal, bit still pale. Cake was about to push Fionna out of his way, but Prince Gumball simply took the items in her sister's arms, grumbled a thanks, and walked back into his bedroom.

Fionna was about to follow him when Cake pulled her back. "Fifi, wait!"

"What is it?"

"Prince Gumball's room was on FIRE."

_"WHAT? IS HE OK?"_

Cake pulled her sister closer. "He LIT his room of fire."

Fionna paused. "...With a lighter?"

"No, girl. _With his MIND._"

Fionna was silent for a moment. Then, she crossed her arms, giving Cake a concerned yet stern look.

"Seriously! Look!" Cake brushed past Fionna to the bedroom door. She held a paw to her lips, signaling her sister to be quiet. With beads of sweat already drenching her fur, Cake pulled open the door.

The floor was stained purple-black, but there was no longer any flames. All of the stuffed animals were gone, reduced to gigantic mounds of charred ash. The walls, floors, and furniture were all singed. The light had popped out, and the room was darkened. Flakes of black ash floated through the air like snow. Prince Gumball was nowhere to be seen.

"He's in the bathroom," said Fionna.

They looked to the scorched bathroom door, under which they could see a shadow moving in the bright light.

The girls stepped over to the door, Mary Janes and paws kicking up plumes of dusty ash. When they reached the door, Fionna knocked on it, dusting her knuckles black. "PG? You in there?"

_"Goooo awaaaaay..._" A voice snarled back, deep and grotesque.

"See? S'all fine," Fionna turned to her sister, obviously playing to mind to the voice that was obviously not the prince's. "He's just gettin' some private time."

"YEAH, RIGHT!" Cake cried, and she pressed her face to the door, looking through the keyhole.

_"Cupcake!" _Fionna cried, appalled by her sister's misunderstood perverted actions.

Cake paid her sister no mind. Her jaw was to the floor, her eyes the size of beach balls as she looked through the keyhole. "SWEET FATHER OF GLOB!"

"Cupcake! Stop! That's disgusting!" Fionna's face was dusted pink as she tried to pull her sister away from the door.

"You have NO idea," Cake told her sister, her voice barely above a whisper. "Look!" Fionna grabbed her sister's skull and forced her to look through the keyhole.

Inside, she could make out the aberrant form of a horrible monster. The monster had ash-gray skin, its limbs distorted and misshapen. It wore the tattered remains of polka-dotted pajamas, and a quiff of matted pink hair was slapped on top of its head. It was pouring bottle after bottle, vial after vial, box after box of strange items into the prince's bathtub. Purple fog was spilling over the brim.

The monster was Prince Gumball.

As Fionna watched, the beastly royal bent down and took a large gulp of the ominous mixture.

"Hold on, Gubbles!" Fionna cried, bracing herself for a kick. "I"LL SAVE YOU!"

Fionna smashed down the weak door with a single kick. Prince Gumball, meanwhile, was guzzling down the purple mixture like there was no tomorrow. As he drank, he became larger, darker, and more misshapen. His eyes turned entirely black, except for small purple flames in the centers. Before Fionna could do anything, the prince ripped the whole bathtub from the floor and poured its contents like a waterfall down his throat.

"GUBBLES, PUT THE BATHTUB DOWN!"

The prince chucked the bathtub to the floor with a booming crash. It whipped its arms at Fionna and Cake, and the two girls cried out as their bodies went sailing through the air, right into the wall. To make it worse, they burst through the wall, their bones and skin smashing against drywall and wood.

Prince Gumball roared as he burst through the ceiling like a daisy out of winter snow. Pink drywall rained down like heavy rain. The citizens of the Candy Kingdom gasped and screamed, all wondering in pure terror what had happened to their prince. Prince Gumball hunched over like an animal as he bounded out of the building. He then began to pounce towards one of the Guardians that sat on either side of the castle.

The Guardian immediately buzzed to life, its gigantic eyes narrowing into angry slits. "Evil presence detected!" It grabbed the approaching Prince with its large hands just as the beastly royal pounced. "Must defend the Candy Castle!"

* * *

><p>"Fionna?"<p>

Fionna felt something sharp and icy cold poke her cheek. She didn't bother to move. She was too sore, too tired, too heavy. But the object poked her again, harder this time, right into her cheekbone. Fionna groaned and lazily swatted it away. Opening lazy, tired eyes, she could make out something tall standing in front of her. Blue...Snow-white...A small dot of gold...

Fionna narrowed her eyes, partly in confusion, partly in annoyance. "Ice Queen? What're you doing here?"

Ice Queen held her palms up in defense. "Hey, I was just looking after the prince. You know, him being possessed and all."

Fionna propped herself up on her elbow, a small wave of dizziness rushing through her brain. In an irritated tone, she retorted, "You don't know that."

"No, really! He's possessed by the Lich Queen!" Ice Queen pointed her bony blue fingers to herself. "I saw it with my Witch Vision. After Prince Gumball fell into that purple gunk, I saw something weird crawl into him. I'm not sure if it was real, though..." Ice Queen looked around her, taking in the bright colors of the ghosts, demons, and spirits that flew through the air. She always saw them. Every time, everywhere. "When you have old, jacked-up eyes like mine, you tend to question your sanity." With a deep, depressed sigh, she added. "All the time."

As Fionna lifted a dizzied Cake from the floor, Ice Queen went on. "Please, I want to help. I don't want Prince Gumball to ne physically unattractive at our wedding."

"Listen, Grandma!" Fionna snarled, all annoyance from earlier coming back in a rush. "I won't let you kill him TWICE. Stop getting in our way! C'mon, Cupcake."

As Cake pulled her sister onto her back, the Ice Queen let out a despaired groan.

The two girls bounded out of the demolished corner of the building, into the crisp air of the outdoors. The sun was a bright amber coin on the horizon, resting for the night. The sky was beginning to violet-blue, the clouds a deep indigo color. Prince Gumball was still pushing against the force of the Guardian, his snarls filling the air.

"WE'RE COMING, PRINCE GUMBALL!" yelled Fionna as the wind whipped her bunny-ears around her head.

"Fifi," Cake panted as she pounced over the Recreation Center, "I think we SHOULD let the Ice Queen help us! She can use her freezy powers to-"

"NO!" Fionna shook her head vigorously as she took out the prince's fluffy pink scarf from her backpack. "I'LL SAVE HIM WITH THE LIKEY SWEATER!"

"GO!" Cake stopped in a jack, hurtling Fionna from her back.

As she flew through the air like a comet, Fionna zeroed in on Prince Gumball. All she had to do was...what, rub it against him? Or something? "PRINCE GUMBALL!" Fionna called as she stuck the scarf in front of her. "I L-"

Fionna cut off in a cry of pain as Prince Gumball's gigantic, clawed hand backhanded her.

She flew the opposite direction, her skin covered in already-blue bruises. Her bones nearly shattered as she collided with the wall of Prince Gumball's hallway once more, her brain sending explosions of pain throughout her body.

Liking the prince hadn't worked, Fionna realized through the top-like spinning of her head. He was too far gone. Too lost. Too...

...Too possessed by the Lich Queen.

Fionna watched as Prince Gumball repeatedly slapped Cake in the muzzle over and over, his other distorted limbs binding the feline's paws together. Cake could only repeat "ouch" over and over.

Fionna groaned in despair. She'd rather drown in the _sea_ before she'd do this. She'd rather have Donna tie her to a chair and torture her for hours. She'd rather wax every hair off her body, cover herself in boiling blood, and toss herself into a colony of dragons.

Anything but THIS.

"Ice Queen..."

The Ice Queen had been staring at her aged feet inside her azure heels, her milky eyes filled with a never-ending void of sadness. She didn't even seem to notice that Fionna had crashed into the wall right next to her from hundreds of feet away. But Fionna knew she was paying attention to her, but she wasn't looking at her. She was likely expecting another harsh comment on her old age.

"...I need you to help me save Prince Gumball."

The Ice Queen had never looked so shocked in her life. Her eyes, white as snow, turned the size of golf-balls and her jaw nearly hit the floor. Her lightning-bolt-like eyebrows shot towards the ceiling. Every part of her aged body froze like ice itself. Fionna the Heroine, asking the Ice Queen to _help _her?

Then, the Ice Queen frowned suspiciously, but Fionna could see the joy in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

Fionna groaned again, and lied, "Yes, I'm sure."

Ice Queen's face burst into the most joyous smile that Fionna was taken aback. She looked so _young _when she smiled. Not as young as Fionna, but a youthful woman. A woman who was not crazy, nor evil, nor dangerous. She looked like the kind of woman who was happy, smart...even _kind. _

"Let's go!" The Ice Queen slapped an icy palm on Fionna's wrist. A moment later, Fionna found herself flying through the air once more.

As the females-one old witch and the other a young human-flew at the beast that was once the Candy Prince, Fionna yelled over the wind, "You freeze his body while I distract him!"

The Ice Queen nodded, eyebrows lowered in determination, and slapped her other hand on Fionna's wrist. With a strained grunt, she flung Fionna forward.

_"I'M A BIRD!" _Fionna screamed loud enough so the prince would hear. _"I'M AN ANGRY BIRD!"_

As the flying girl approached, she yelled, "CUPCAKE! DUCK!"

Cake, who was currently being stretched like gum in the Prince's claws, pulled herself from his grasp and hit the dirt of the Earth. Fionna latched her hands into the Prince's gummy hair, now gigantic and limp. As she latched on, the weight of her body pulled the weak hair down, covering the beastly royal's purple-flamed eyes. "ICE QUEEN! NOW!"

Ice Queen nodded and raised her arms high above her head. They glowed a fierce aqua color, and when the Ice Queen brought them down, icy bolts of energy exploded from them. Fionna jumped from the prince quickly.

The prince's entire body, from his tiny crown to the heels of his bulbous feet, was nothing more than a gargantuan glacier.

As Fionna fell onto Cake's trampoline-like belly, the Candy citizens surrounded them. They were all cheering, all applauding, some crying, some laughing. They patted Fionna on the back and they rubbed Cake between the ears. And, though cautious and hesitant, _they even thanked the Ice Queen._

As a patient silence fell over the crowd, Fionna turned to the Ice Queen and smiled. Actually SMILED. She was actually _grateful, _grateful that the Ice Queen, one of her greatest enemies, had helped save the prince. "You did good, Ice Queen."

Ice Queen looked at her with wide eyes. "I did?"

Fionna nodded. "Yeah."

Ice Queen smiled again. Another youthful, joy-exploding smile.

Fionna learned a very important lesson that day: Just because someone may be very old, crazy, or even evil, they can still be helpful.

A loud whine of movement ceased all sound. Confused frowns covered everyone's faces.

The glacier of the prince was teetering. Only slightly, at first. Then it rocked back and forth, back and forth...and it finally tipped over.

The glacier exploded in millions of icy shards as it impacted with the ground.

And with it, the prince exploded as well.

Fionna turned to the people, her eyes looking like they were about to burst from her skull.

Cake's jaw literally hit the ground.

The Ice Queen, with horrified bags under her eyes, said, "...Just for the record...I didn't kill him this time. Everyone saw that, right?"

"Girl..." The Guardian's broken shard of mouth said with a sigh.

"QUICK!" Fionna cried. "WE GOTTA GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!"

* * *

><p>"Beginning revival."<p>

Dr. Ice Pop wiped the beads of sweat forming on his fruit-flavored forehead. Nurse Cheesecake looked like a nervous wreck opposite of him. Beside the nurse, Dr. Prince, who was called in straight from his own hospital, was looking down at the gurney in concern. The gurney was sheet-less, and on it lay Prince Gumball. Well, what remained of him, anyway. Chunks of gum was scattered on the gurney, some small, some large, but all still cold. It was hard to tell which chunks of gum were skin and which were internal organs.

"Nurse, we need to connect these two pieces." Dr. Ice Pop picked up one of the bigger chunks as Nurse Cheesecake picked up another one. "No, not that one." Nurse Cheesecake picked up a smaller chunk. "Yes, that one." The men set the chunks of gum against one another. They molded together perfectly, like magnets.

No one can say how long the doctors and nurse were in there. Some say they were in there a fairly short time, but most say they were in there for very long. And those who say they were in there very long range their versions from them being in their a few hours, or many hours.

But the medical professionals were nearly done, as it was. Dr. Ice Pop inspected the royal on the gurney. When they were done with the lower half of his body, they had pulled up a sheet to cover him. Now, the prince's facial features-from his eyelids to his lips to his collarbone-were becoming clearer and clearer. Almost perfect...almost there..."Dr. Prince, give me more gum."

Dr. Prince's eyes were filled with aghast concern. "There's no more left."

Dr. Ice Pop felt every organ in his body clench. "T-That can't be!" his voice came in a hoarse exclamation.

Nurse Cheesecake looked up at his superior, looking as scared as a child. "What are we going to do, Doctor?"

Dr. Ice Pop's gaze on the prince was grave. He was silent for a long moment. As he moved his hands over the royal's body, he said, "Doctor, Nurse. Help me define his features."

* * *

><p>Fionna felt like she were having the worst case of daja vu in existence. The same murmurs of the worried citizens, the calls coming from behind the ER doors, the ultimate feelings of doom and death...it was like reliving a nightmare.<p>

"He's gonna be fine," Cake assured her sister as she rubbed a paw over her shoulders. But even Cake didn't know what was to come of their friend.

After an eternity, the ER doors open, and Fionna sprang to her feet so fast she almost pulled a hamstring. Next to her, the Ice Queen held out a calming palm.

Nurse Cheesecake's face was etched in a frown as he called, "Attention, everyone."

"IS THE PRINCE OK?!" Fionna screeched, making everyone jumped.

When Nurse Cheesecake hesitated, Fionna felt her stomach, lungs, and heart shrivel. "Yes, the prince is fine...But there were...complications..."

Fionna felt her insides turn to stone. A scream ripped through her body, and she lifted her head. Her screech of anguish filled the entire hospital. _**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_

"Yes..." Nurse Cheesecake sighed heavily. "There's wasn't enough gum to work with. I'm afraid Prince Gumball is now..."

Fionna felt her heart hammer like a stampede of WHALES. What was wrong? Was he missing a limb? Or an organ? Or was it something else? Was he blind, or deaf? Could he even MOVE anymore?

"...Younger."

A thundering gasp rippled through the crowd as the prince appeared in the doorway.

He was shorter now, about half a head. His hair, though the same color as before, was curly, and a bit longer. His eyes were still a fusion of fuchsia and violet-blue, but they were bigger now, wide with young innocence and curiosity. His old clothes were also replaced with something more fitting. He now wore hot pink shorts that matched his puff-sleeved shirt. Indigo sleeves slid from underneath the shirt, reaching to his shoulders. A large indigo bow bloomed from under his chin. Indigo socks dove into hot pink shoes. The little crown he wore on his head was the only thing that remained of his older self.

"He's fourteen years old now," Nurse Cheesecake added, his voice filled with heavy pity.

Ice Queen threw up her arms, letting out a frustrated cry. "Doggone-it!" With a huff, Ice Queen pushed through the crowd, to the open window. "I'm out."

And then the Ice Queen flew out of the window, into the crisp evening air.

Fionna jumped as she replayed the Nurse's words. "Fourteen years old?" She repeated, eyebrows creased. "That's how old I am."

Fionna looked at the prince.

We was giving her a warm, joyful, glowing smile that lit up his whole face.

Fionna felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

Cake made a musical sound in her throat.

Prince Gumball stepped across the room and wrapped his arms around Fionna in a hug. Fionna hesitated before softly smiling and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as the Candy People exploded into cheers.

The purple-eyed slug went unnoticed in the windowsill...

TRIVIA

This is the first time an episode is continued into the next.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

This episode is a continuation of "Mortal Folly."


	52. Adorable Acquisition

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Cute Queen-the leader of the Huggaboopies. The Cute Queen's voice is much like a little girl's, though she speaks in a formal language. In contrast to her male counterpart, the Cute Queen is almost Fionna's height, and she has a more humanoid appearance. She has big, pink eyes and soft lips that add to her cute appearance. She also has pale pink, almost white, skin. Her head is shaped in a pink, mushroom-like bob with a small gold crown on top. She wears a bodysuit with red, yellow, blue and white stripes that stretches from just under her chin to the top of her thighs. A small face can be seen on the seat of her suit. She also wears pink knee-high boots.

Huggaboopies-small, fungus-like creatures ruled by the Cute Queen. Despite their adorable, harmless appearances the Huggaboopies want people to fear them. They are very weak and fragile, and can bruise and break at the slightest touch, but they are also swift and agile. They are slightly larger than their Cutie counterparts.

**ADORABLE ACQUISITION**

_Title Card_

_Fionna holds up the camera as Cake holds the Cute Queen-who looks viciously annoyed-closer for yet another photo._

Cake the Cat's lips popped in a rhythmic tune as she sat on the maroon couch. Sunlight streamed in ribbons through the window, making Cake's sleek fur shine. Her tail waved lazily behind her, brushing against the fabric of the cushions. Her paws moved in a synchronized dance as they held the silver needles, dipping and twisting and dipping again. The glare that came from the sunlight on the needles danced across the room as the needles moved.

As Cake continued to pop her lips, footsteps began to approach. Soft, then loud, then right at the doorway. Fionna the Human stepped into the living room, her Mary Janes clicking against the soft wood of the floor. She listened to Cake's lip-popping, memorizing the rhythm before she starting to buzz her tongue. Cake smiled and enhanced her popping, just as Fionna enhanced her buzzing. They continued this tune for a full minute before they ceased.

_"Yeaaaaa~!" _the girls sang as the last note to their song.

"What 'cha doin'?" asked the human girl as she picked up her green backpack and slipped it on her back. She felt comfortable with the familiar heaviness of the pack on her.

"Knittin' a Kitpupbunmousqui."

"You're knitting a what now?"

"A Kitpupbunmousqui," Cake repeated, holding up the knitted object in her lap. It looked like a fusion of five different animals, knitted together with yarn and stuffed with cotton. It had the gray and white paws of a kitten, the brown legs of a puppy, the white belly of a mouse, the gray head of a rabbit (complete with long ears) and the curly brown tail of a squirrel. "I was trying to knit something cute, and I couldn't decide between a kitten, a puppy, a bunny, a mouse, or a squirrel. And so, the Kitpupbunmousqui was born."

Cake held up her right paw, sharpening a single claw that she used to cut the yarn short. Tying the remaining string into a not, she held the new quinanimal close. "I love you, Kitpupbunmousqui..."

Fionna took a slow step away from her feline sibling. "Right...Hey, do you know where I-"

Fionna cut off in a jump as a sudden noise, between rattling and banging, came from the door. Cake was so surprised she clutched the Kitpupbunmousqui close, as if it were her child.

The rattling-banging spread from the door to the walls. A clock fell from its nail, its plastic cover shattering. A sword fell from its sheath, slicing into the wood of the floor like a stick in mud. The packed-tight bookcase teetered, and Fionna dashed forward to stop it from falling over.

Fionna started towards the door, her arm already raised in case she needed her ruby sword at the last minute. Cake hesitated before she stretched out her belly into a pouch, pushing the Kitpupbunmousqui inside like a joey, and followed.

When Cake caught up, Fionna had her back pressed to the wall right next to the door, trying to look out of the small window. "I think someone's after Kitpupbunmousqui!" Cake gasped, wrapping her arms around the stuffed quinanimal in her pouch. "I won't let them get you, honey-pie..."

"Cupcake, get ready to attack!" Fionna whispered sharply, her ruby sword brandishing with its usual _shhhk._

Cake took the Kitpupbunmousqui from her belly, her pouch disappearing as she buried the knitted animal into a pile of gold, leaving space for its nose and mouth. Cake then crouched next to Fionna in a pounce-ready stance. "I'm ready!"

Fionna pounded her right Mary Jane to the wood of the door, causing it to burst open with a loud bang of sound. No sooner did it open than did the two girls pounce out of their house. Fionna held out her ruby sword and Cake stuck out her claws-

The two girls landed smack on their faces when they came in contact with no danger. Grass stained their shirt as they skid across the ground, mud staining their elbows and knees. As the two girls regained themselves, a shadow loomed over them. The two girls looked up.

A girl was looming over them, a half-head shorter than Fionna. The look in her eyes made her seem very old and wise, but her overall appearance looked like a child's. She had big, pink eyes and soft lips that added to her cute appearance. She also had pale pink, almost white, skin. Her head was shaped in a pink, mushroom-like bob with a small gold crown on top. She wore a bodysuit with red, yellow, blue and white stripes that stretched from just under her chin to the top of her thighs. She also wore pink knee-high boots. Behind her, an army of small creatures were standing loyally. They were very small, the smallest the size of a thumb and the largest the size of Fionna's ankle. They looked like mushrooms, with smooth, rubbery skin and bright colors.

_They were all adorable._

"Look at them~!" Cake sang, her black eyes glittering like jewels as they stared at the creatures in pure awe.

"They're so adorable!" Fionna agreed, her palms pressed to her cheeks, chubbing her lips. Even as a monster-killing heroine, Fionna had a very soft side for small creatures. "I just wanna like 'em!"

The tall, pink girl's eyes narrowed, and Fionna nearly clapped her hands when the glare made her ten times more adorable. "We art not 'cute' or 'adorable'!" Though her language was formal, her voice sounded like an eight-year-old's. "We art evil, and we have arrived to destroy thee!"

"Cupcake, get the camera!" Fionna squeed, slapping her sister on the shoulder.

"But something cute may happen if I leave!" retorted the feline, her glittering eyes getting bigger by the second.

"BEEMA!" The two girls cried together. "BEEMA!"

The small computer console dashed out of the house, a sub-machine like gun in its small grasp, pushing the two girls apart to get a better view of the danger. "THIS IS SPA-" The computer stopped when it caught sight of the small creatures and their leader. Because Beema was a computer console, it bore no feelings, so the cute appearance of the crowd before her had no effect on her. "What's going on?"

"Beema, get the camera!"

"Beema IS camera," the computer replied, its screen clicking into camera lens.

They all spent the next half-hour taking pictures. Posing pictures with the pink leader, group pictures with the creatures, and tons of indivisual pictures. With each picture, the pink girl grew more and more angrier, causing her to become more and more adorable, and THUS causing more pictures to be taken of her.

When Cake started for the door, about to bring out some props, the pink girl threw her hands up. "Enough of these ludicrous photographs! I command thee to bow down to me, the Cute Queen, and my legion of Huggaboopies!"

The Cute Queen's head snapped downwards when she heard another click of the lens.

"We gotta get these printed!" Fionna cooed as she looked at the picture that appeared on Beema's screen.

"I'll fabricate a new file," Beema said. An icon of a pixelated folder appeared on her screen, replacing the photo, with a small line blinking vertically in a small white box. "What do you want to call it?"

The Cute Queen huffed, straightening her shoulders. "Very well. If ye will not take us in a serious manner, we will eradicate thee and thy sister!" Then, glaring, she added, "Until that time has come..." She smiled, and though it made her look more adorable, it had a sort of twisted edge to it. "Congratulations on the Kitpupbunmousqui, Cake..."

And then, still smiling, the Cute Queen walked backwards, the legion of Huggaboopies mimicking her expression before disappearing over the horizon.

_**"AH!"**_

Fionna flinched when a sudden, shrill shriek of grief struck her ears. With Beema at her heels, Fionna dashed back into the Treehouse, stumbling.

Cake was on her knees, her belly pressed against the mound of gold she had hidden the Kitpupbunmousqui in. Speaking of the Kitpupbunmousqui, the newly-invented quadanimal was clutched softly in Cake's paws, looking...perfectly normal.

"K-Kitpupbunmousqui!" Cake sobbed, tears spilling from her eyes as the name came out in a pitiful blubber.

Fionna gave her sister an incredulous look. "It's perfectly fine."

"No, Fifi!" Cake crushed the knitted creature against her furry chest, tears dripping off her muzzle and soaking into the quadanimal's yarn. "T-They did something! Poisoned him, o-or-"

"Cupcake." Fionna set her hand on her sister's soft shoulder, giving her a comforting smile. "They didn't do anything."

Cake looked up at Fionna, her eyes filled with suspicious terror. "They knew my name, they knew about Kitpupbunmousqui, they even knew we were sisters! WE'RE FROM TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPECIES, FIFI!"

"They're just saying stuff to mess with your head," said Fionna, rubbing Cake between her ears. "Those Huggaboopies are just Rabbits of Cabbernog!"

* * *

><p>That night, Fionna's gaze was sad as it looked out of the window to her sister-who was holding a rusty shovel and was currently looking down at the lump of dirt beneath her (the gravestone had to be added to repeatedly due to the long title)-down below.<p>

The knitted animal had 'passed' a few hours before, according to Cake. Fionna had absolutely no-frikkin-idea how she could tell, but the 'autopsy' done on the Kitpupbunmousqui 'revealed' that the cause for the Kitpupbunmousqui's 'death' was murder by cotton poisoning.

A yawn rippled through Fionna's chest, and she let it out as she stretched her arms wide above her head. She slunk over to her bed, Fionna pulled back the animal-skin blankets that coated the mattress. She crawled into the bed, pulling the animal skins up to her chin. The warmth enveloped her, cocooning her softly and-

Fionna hissed in shock and discomfort when something large and furry rubbed against her spine.

Fionna tossed over, ripping the covers away. Two big, black-and-white eyes blinked up at her. "Cupcake? What're you doing here?"

Cake picked at a tuft of bear fur under her chin. "Just chillin'..."

Fionna put her elbow on her pillow, resting her cheek against her palm. "You're still scared about those Hugga-bubbies, ain't cha?"

"...Kinda..." mumbled Cake, pulling the bear skin over her muzzle.

Fionna chuckled. "Listen. Come morning, we'll track those guys down and see what the problem is, alright?"

Cake smiled as she adjusted herself on the mattress, making herself more comfortable under the covers. "Thanks, Fifi." The twenty-eight-year-old feline closed her eyes, trying to embrace sleep, only for them to flutter back open. "You remind me of Poppa sometimes, y'know."

Fionna's body vibrated with a small laugh. "Yeah, good ol' Pop."

Cake stared up at the rooted ceiling, remembering the way her father had always held her when she cried or the way he protected her when she was in danger. "He always knew just what to do sometimes."

"Yeah," Fionna laughed again, then felt her body relax under the warmth of the animal skins. "'Night, sistah."

"Sleep tight," Cake yawned, then curled under the animal skins herself.

It didn't take long for the two girls, one a teenager and one an adult, to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>"FIFI! FIFI, HELP!"<p>

Fionna groaned in her throat as her eyelids peeled open, turning over on the mattress. She expected to see her sister, probably having a nightmare or something, only to see her bed was completely empty.

_Maybe I just dreamed it, _Fionna considered, looking across the darkness of the bedroom, thinking that Cake had crawled back into her drawer-bed. But it was completely empty, the blankets perfectly folded and the pillow crisp.

"Cupcake?" Fionna called, sitting up in her bed with a creak.

"FIFI, HELP ME!"

When Fionna realized her sister's screams were coming from downstairs, she shot from her bed faster than the speed of light, the blankets being pulled five feet away from the mattress from their owner's force. Fionna didn't even climb down the ladder. She jumped straight down the chute and rolled forward when she hit the floor. When she made impact with the wood, she heard the slight shuffle of tiny feet scurrying away.

In the dim light, she could see Cake in the middle of the living room. But she wasn't just standing there, why would she scream? The feline was dangling from a ceiling-root, wool rope tied around her body tightly. The wool was needle-sharp, its bristles so large that if Cake were to try and stretch her way out, or even move in the slightest, they would bury into her sensitive skin. Cake's eyes were filled with fear, her pants so loud they were like air rushing out of a balloon.

Fionna dashed to the left wall, ripping off the rusty machete from its hilt. She then stumbled back to her sister, carefully using the razor-sharp blade to slice through the thick rope. The feline didn't make the slightest move to brace herself, and she simply fell to the floor in a terrified heap. Fionna then noticed that one of her hand-made swords was on the floor. Fionna had a sick feeling Cake hadn't been the one using it.

"Cupcake, what happened?" asked Fionna, kneeling down to help her sister stand. But the only thing they accomplished was kneeling.

Cake panted some more before answering. "I-I couldn't go to sleep. S-so I was going to the kitchen, to get some milk." She attempted to stand, but her knees buckled and she leaned on Fionna. "B-but out of nowhere, t-they tied me up, and they tried to kill me..."

"Cupcake," Fionna made her sister look up at her, "Who tied you up?"

_"The Huggaboopies."_

No sooner had the terrified cat said the word than Fionna heard a shuffle behind her. She span around, holding out the machete as Cake cowered behind her.

After taking in the surroundings, and going back over them, Fionna lowered the machete. "There's no one here."

Cake's eyes darted back and forth, her tail's hair on end, when they stopped on something. Cake's entire body went rigid. "Oh, no..." Cake darted away, crying out, "OH NO!"

The startled human girl span around, green-blue eyes wide. "What is it?"

Cake walked into the shadows, kneeling down. Fionna could make out a lumpy shape in front of her. "Oh, no-o-o! It's a dead dog, girl! It's guts are all over the place! It's all butchered up and bloody...Aw, no, wait. It's just a pillow." Cake picked up the lumpy red pillow, stepping back into the pale moonlight. "I must've left it here this morning."

_"Fionaaaaaaaa...Caaaaaake..."_

Gripping the machete, Fionna span around at the sound of the wavery voice. But she continued to see no one, just shadows.

_"This is the voice of your faaaaaaather..."_

Fionna looked over her shoulder at the red ceramic vase Cake had sculpted not too long ago. Raising an eyebrow, she approached it.

_"I've come back to tell you girls how much I hate yoooooooou..."_

Fionna looked inside the vase.

Sure enough, a small Huggaboopy was inside, looking up at Fionna with terrified eyes. Then, its eyes narrowed, and it pounced at Fionna's face.

Fionna stumbled back, expecting the Huggaboopy to claw or bite her. But it only used Fionna's face as a sort of jumping pad, and it bounded off her forehead onto the floor behind her.

"GET HER, CUPCAKE!"

Cake moved forward, paws outstretched before the approaching Huggaboopy. The small mushroom-like creature reared back and snarled. Cake's back arched and her tail exploded into a gigantic puff of fur as she sailed backwards, landing on the wall with her claws embedded in the wood. The Huggaboopy made a run for an open gap in the floor, but just as it jumped in, Fionna grabbed it.

As the Huggaboopy hissed and scratched a bit, Fionna called, "Cupcake, what do I do? It's going crazy!"

"Shake her!"

"Huh?!"

"SHAKE HER LIKE A MARACA UNTIL SHE STOPS!"

"ALRIGHT!" Fionna shook her hand as much as she could in the small gap, so quickly the Huggaboopy turned into a blur of bright color. Finally, as her wrist began to tire and the Huggaboopy's snarls calmed, she stopped. The Huggaboopy was panting and groaning, its head bobbing in dizziness. "OK, they've stopped."

"A'ight," Cake pumped one paw into the other for emphasis on her next words, "Now tell them that if they talk about our Dad again-"

"Hold on," Fionna looked away from her sister, her gaze narrowing on the Huggaboopy in the floor gap. "How do you even KNOW about Dad?"

"We hath been watching thee," the Huggaboopy tried to snarl, but it came out as a groan. "Learning thy secrets."

"Why?!"

"For tommorow, at dawn. When our people shall eradicate thee and thy sister with our awaiting army. Thy assume we are adorable...BUT WE ARTH JUST THE OPPOSITE!"

The Huggaboopy sunk its surprisingly sharp claws into Fionna's skin. Fionna jumped as her grip softened on the Huggaboopy, and the creature tried to jump away. Fionna gripped it once more, but she barely caught its arm. The Huggaboopy twisted and snarled, and Fionna tried to increase her grip. Then, something popped, and the Huggaboopy giggled as Fionna sailed backwards.

Fionna landed on her back with a thump, right next to her sister. She felt something small and rubbery in her grasp, and she looked down at her hand. The Huggaboopy's arm was in her fingers. "Ew." she tossed it away, her nose scrunched.

"NOW do you believe me?!" Cake cried, her tail going mad behind her as she flailed her arms for emphasis.

"...I don't know what to believe anymore."

"...CLOSE ENOUGH. Fifi, we need an army! We don't know what these guys got, or where they are! We need soldiers!"

Fionna reached over for the nearby transceiver, typing in numbers madly. "Already on it."

* * *

><p>The next day, the Treehouse was surrounded in a barricade. Every single piece of furniture in the house, from the smallest painting to the largest bed, was stacked up outside with the others, creating a seven-foot-tall barrier around the Treehouse. Fionna and Cake created concealed passageways and hidden tunnels just in case they needed to leave the barricade. They kept all of the weapons, swords, knives, and machetes alike, in a pile near the entrance. The metals shined bright in the sun. Fionna felt like they were in <em>Le Agonisé.<em>

They called as many friends as they could, toi recruit new soldiers. However, almost all of them were busy that day. Prince Gumball had to take care of Peppermint Maid, who had chipped herself after tripping down a staircase. Lord Monochromicorn's mother's birthday was that day, and he couldn't come. In the end, the only friends who showed up were Lumpy Space Prince, Beema, Cinnamon Bun, and a goose. However, the goose flew away when Fionna told her no food would be served.

"My legion of acquaintances!" Fionna announced, hands behind her back and her legs apart. Both of her cheeks were smeared in lines of black paint, just under her eyes. She had a green army helmet on her head, with large holes drilled in to make room for her bunny ears. The untied straps waved as she moved. She carried a switch in her right hand. "Today, we go to war with the Huggaboopy clan! AND WE WILL WIN!"

The legion of acquaintances let out determined army cries, fist-pumping the air.

"Do not let their adorable facade fool you! They are evil, and they will KILL YOU if they get the chance! I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM THAT CHANCE."

"WE WILL MAKE THEM CRY BLOOD!" LSP roared, spittle forming at the corners of his mouth.

The others stared at him, then they all took a step back.

"Uh...yeah," Fionna agreed hesitantly.

A sudden blow of a trumpet took their attention away from the bloodthirsty royal. Cake climbed the barricade and formed her paw into a telescope. Over the grassy horizon, in the shining sun, an army of Huggaboopies was charging towards them. They were snarling and roaring (adorably), their hands wielding weapons made out of flower sems and blades of grass. "THEY'RE HERE!"

"FOR MICHAEL!" Fionna cried, tossing away her switch and taking out her ruby sword, holding it high.

"FOR MICHAEL!" The others chorused, each grabbing a weapon from the pile and holding it high. Cinnamon Bun toppled over from the weight.

Fionna climbed up the barricade in an ape-like manner, heart beating in anticipation. She let out a war cry, but it quickly faded into a hum of confusion, and her face fell when she saw the army. "Uh...Guys...?"

The others climbed the barricade, looking at what was causing their leader confusion.

The Huggaboopies were falling.

...To themselves...?

One Huggaboopy was charging forward, teeth bared. But it tripped, tumbling forward. As it tumbled, its body parts snapped off like plastic.

Another Huggaboopy accidentally dropped its grass-sword, and it tripped over it. The Huggaboopy behind it collided with its body, and they both tumbled.

Another Huggaboopy's weapon slipped from its grasp, colliding with one of its fellow comrades, which fell on impact, a huge bruise forming on its front front the weapon's tiny collision.

One Huggaboopy simply exploded.

In thirty seconds flat, the entire army of Huggaboopies lay scattered across the grass, body parts askew and bruised and weapons broken.

in

"Well," Cake said after a long time of awkward silence, "Guess we won."

"These guys aren't a threat to _us,_" Fionna said, her face falling in worry. "They're a threat to _themselves._"

They looked back to the fallen warriors and noticed one Huggaboopy, its flower-club still in its hand, stirring in the grass. It whined like a wounded puppy, and turned over onto its back. Its club hit the arm of a fellow Huggaboopy, severing its arm instantly. The Huggaboopy cried out in pain.

The legion of acquaintances and their leaders flinched, hissing inwardly.

"Hey, look," Cake pointed past the fallen soldiers. "Someone's coming."

Their gazes returned to the horizon. A shape began to form, running towards them. Its identity was concealed by the sun at first, but when it reached the top of the hill, it became clear who it was. The Cute Queen stood before her fallen warriors, a silver scepter in hand. Her face contorted in shock, then confused disappointment. Though she looked adorable, still, her emotions were not clouded by her appearance. "My people!" she cried, her shoulders slumping over in distress. "Quickly, recover thy selves before thy enemy sees!"

The legion of acquaintances exchanged confused, yet worried looks.

The fallen Huggaboopies began to stir at their queen's orders. The queen rushed forward, dashing from Huggaboopy to Huggaboopy, picking up as many as possible. In the end, she picked up the majority, with three or four at her heels. The Huggaboopies lay in her arms like broken toys. "It shall be fine. I arth here now."

She and the Huggaboopies disappeared over the hill.

Fionna and Cake looked at each other, then nodded. Fionna turned to her friends. "Legion of acquaintances, Lieutenant Cupcake and are going to spy on the enemy. Stay here in case of surprise attacks."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" The soldiers saluted to their leader. Most of them did, anyway. LSP just grunted, irritated that he didn't shed any blood.

* * *

><p>Fionna and Cake weren't surprised that the Huggaboopies did not return to their clan, kingdom, or wherever their main hideout was. Rather, they found them in the middle of a forest clearing, seven hills and a stream away from the Treehouse. The Cute Queen had the Huggaboopies spread out before her as she stood on an old tree stump that remarkably resembled a throne. The Huggaboopies had obviously seen better days. Not a single one of them wasn't injured in some way. The majority of them were as broken as glass. Missing limbs were being fastened back to their owners, indigo bruises covered almost their entire bodies. Those who weren't severly injured were bruised andor heavily bandaged. Fionna couldn't help but think it looked very much like a young child giving a practice speech to a legion of stuffed animals.

"Courageous fighters!" The Cute Queen cried, her face stony as she raised her scepter high. Then, her cute face fell in desperation, and her shoulders slumped. "Why must we hath our hind quarters handeth to us by all foes we encounter?"

None of the Huggaboopies replied, all too ashamed of themselves. They rubbed their sore limbs, like children being scolded by their mother.

"However are we to bath in the blood of our enemies if we cannot walketh three feet-falls without obliterating?!" The Cute Queen continued, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "GLEEBLES, I'M LOOKING AT THEE!"

Her scepter pointed directly at one Huggaboopy in the middle of the group. Instantly, the poor creator obliterated into dozens of pieces. The medical Huggaboopies groaned and began to collect the fallen chunks of bloodless flesh.

"All that I ask of thee is ONE victory!" The Cute Queen's nose scrunched in anger, her arms stiff at her sides as she stood on her tip-toes. _**"ONE!"**_

The Huggaboopies began to sniff, their eyes already glittering with tears.

The Cute Queen's eyes widened momentarily, then she forced them to narrow. But the girls saw the guilt in her eyes. "Do not start that."

The Huggaboopies continued to sniff, their eyes beginning to water.

The Cute Queen's own eyes began to shimmer with liquid sadness, trying her best to stop her chin from trembling. "Do not do it!"

The Huggaboopies exploded into sobs. Tears splattered everywhere, like sprinklers. Their sobs increased into screams, barely even able to breath. The tears caused them to fall apart once more, and they only wailed louder. The Cute Queen tried her best to stifle her own tears, but yet, she soon found herself sobbing loudly.

The girls wanted nothing more than to run out into the clearing and scoop them all up, hugging the tears away.

"Listen, Cupcake," Fionna pulled her sister down, concealing themselves in the thick shrubs. "They aren't gonna stop until they win or die. And they're _not _gonna win. So, we gotta _let _them win."

"Are you insane in the brain?!" Cake exclaimed in a whisper, slapping her paw against her sister's temple.

"Cupcake, either we let these guys win or they die. Which do you prefer?"

Cake opened and closed her mouth in a fish-like manner, syllables stuttering before stopping. A few moments of this passed before Cake simply crossed her arms, glaring at the grass beneath her. "Fine."

"You're doing the right thing," Fionna assured her sister, rubbing her between the ears. "Let's get back to the barricade."

* * *

><p>"...And so, my legion of acquaintances, we will lose this war. But with absolute dignity! When the enemy approaches, I want you to scream at the slightest touch, writhe at their puny punches, and wither in your blood until victory is theirs."<p>

Beema rose its small arm, confusion written on its screen. "But how are we to bleed if none of this is real, General Fionna, ma'am?"

"With pride, my boy." Fionna replied. Then, reaching into her green backpack, she tossed the little computer a jar of red liquid. "And tomato juice."

The legion of acquaintances and the lieutenant cheered. Minus LSP, who seemed more than a little displeased that he would be no real gore.

"And, my legion, try to be as realistic as possible. Like you're really dying."

"LET'S ACT THE MESS OUT OF THESE GUYS!" Cake whooped, then hastily added, "WITH TOMATO JUICE!"

The legion of acquaintances clapped in agreement.

A trumpet blared, and their gazes turned to the horizon automatically. New Huggaboopies were approaching, unbroken and ready for pitiful battle. New weapons of wheat and thorns were now in their grasp, held high as they gripped shields of pebbles in their free hands. Fionna turned to her legion. "All right, legion of acquaintances. Remember, realistic acting and tomato juice will lose this battle!"

The legion of acquaintances war-cried in unison, pumping the air with their fists. Five seconds later, Cinnamon Bun fell flat on her face in a splatter of icing. LSP groaned in annoyance, "Not yet, Cinnamon Bun."

Their gazes returned to the approaching Huggaboopies. As they did so, they noticed something large and lumpy forming, and when they looked closer, they saw a large group of Huggaboopies were forming into a large pile. They at first thought they were falling again, into a gigantic pile. But as they watched, the Huggaboopies arranged themselves together, linking limbs and standing on one another's heads. Eventually, they formed a large creature of themselves, its shape similar to that of a tiger's, or a panther's. Its height came to Fionna's elbows. Everything was made out of Huggaboopies. The eyes, the teeth. Even the tail itself was made out of small Huggaboopies.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the Cute Queen jumped into the air, her scepter shining in the sunlight. She landed on the Huggaboopy-made creature, letting out an almost Indian battle cry.

The legion of acquaintances gasped in awe.

As the Huggaboopies approached, not only the creature they formed but also the Huggaboopies that were charging singularly, Fionna launched herself over the barricade wall. The others followed. Fionna ran straight for the Huggaboopy creature, skidding in the grass when it was right in front of her.

When the Huggaboopy creature raised its paw, the smaller Huggaboopies forming the claws, Fionna actually considered dodging out of the way.

But when its paw came down on her chest, 'claws' outstretched, it did no more damage than a small pat.

Still, Fionna acted quickly. She reached into her green back, pulling out her own small glass of tomato juice and smashing it against herself. The extremely thin glass shattered immediately, the red liquid splattering everywhere, soaking her shirt, the grass, and the face of the creature. "ARGH! IT HURTS!"

Meanwhile, the others were trying to follow their leader's footsteps. Cinnamon Bun took out her own glass jar of tomato juice before any Huggaboopies even came near her. She splattered it against her dress, the impact _actually _knocking her unconcious. When the Huggaboopies approached the frosted pastry, splattered in red, their faces were more than confused. LSP, still disgruntled about the lack of blood and gore, glared at the Huggaboopies as they approached. But still, as they threw their flowers and grass blades at him in a spear-like manner, he reached into his lumps and splattered himself in tomato juice, falling to the grass. Beema did a similar thing, splattering its screen in the red fruit-blood and falling to the grass. It turned off its screen for good measure.

Cake, her fur already soaked with red, collapsed to the ground as the Huggaboopies patted her in attempted strikes. "I regret nothing..."

Soon, all five acquaintances were scattered in the grass, wallowing in their own faux-blood.

The Cute Queen dismounted the Huggaboopy creature, which quickly dismantled into its singular hosts. The Cute Queen approached Cake's fake corpse, still wet with juice. She prodded the feline's stomach with her scepter, as if she were roadkill. When Cake didn't move, the Cute Queen's eyes widened to the size of baseballs. "...WE ARTH VICTORIOUS!"

The Huggaboopies exploded into cheerful victory cries. Tears of joy spilled down their faces as they hugged each other so tight a few almost exploded once more.

"At last!" the Cute Queen cried, her face lighting up in a blazing smile that made her look as much like a child in ever. "I can commence in the victory dance!"

The Cute Queen put one pale pink hand on her hip, the other pointed at the sky. _"V!" _She twirled around in a circle. _"I!" _She trotted her legs in an almost Irish dance, never missing a beat. _"C! T! O! R! Y!"_

Cake's belly began to bubble, and odd, scratchy sounds rose from her throat. Fionna almost jumped. _Oh, no-!_

Too late. Cake bursted into hysterical laughter, causing the Huggaboopies to run backwards ("AH!" "IT'S ALIVE!" "IT'S RESPAWNING!") and the Cute Queen to fall backwards in shock and horror. Cake continued to laugh so hard it seemed like she would burst. Finally, clutching her pained sides, she managed to gasp out, "I-I'm so sorry-y-y-y~!" before bursting into more laughter.

"What?!"

Cake stopped laughing at the Cute Queen's shocked gasp. The adorable royal was on her knees, putting to fingers into a puddle of the red liquid that was splattered on the grass. She brought the fingers to her lips, her tiny tongue lapping up the fruity blood. She turned to the legion of acquaintances, her eyes filled with so much sadness Fionna felt her gut twist. "This is tomato juice?"

"We _were _gonna use strawberry juice," Cake replied, standing up on her paws. Behind her, the others pulled themself up to their feet as well (or, in LSP's case, to the air), the Huggaboopies dispersing around them. "But it was too tasty." She paused, bringing a paw to her muzzle. "Or was it?" She turned to her sister, head tilted to the side. "Hey, Fifi, what's tastier, tomato or strawberry juice?"

Fionna paid her sister no attention. Instead, standing, she groaned softly. "Oh, no..."

Cake followed her gaze. Cute Queen was retreating over the hill, her back to them. The sisters heard her sniffing to herself, her hand occasionally wiping tears from her eyes.

Fionna and Cake gave each other guilty, horrible looks that quickly turned to agreeing ones. Fionna turned to her legion. "Acquaintances, why don't you and the Huggaboopies eat some lunch? We'll be right back."

The legion of acquaintances and the Huggaboopy army cheered softly, turning for the barricaded Treehouse.

* * *

><p>"Cute Queen, wait up!"<p>

To the sisters' surprise, the Cute Queen actually stopped when they called to her. Cake approached her, setting her paw on the royal's shoulder. "We're really sorry for being phonies." The Cute Queen shook the feline's paw off.

Fionna approached her from the side, bending a bit so that they wer eye-to-eye. "We did it so you guys wouldn't get hurt."

"What does it matter?" the Cute Queen sighed, rubbing her forearm. "How arth anyone to take us seriously if they only care about our psychical appearances?"

"Maybe you can use your physical appearances," Fionna suggested. When she saw that she had the Cute Queen's attention, she offered a small smile. "You can use your adorableness as a strength."

The Cute Queen turned to the human girl, her pink eyes wide with hope. "Can I use it to defeat my foes?"

"Totally!" Fionna and Cake exclaimed in unison, giving her thumbs-ups.

The Cute Queen smiled. A real, happy, jubilant smile that made her look like an excited child. "Teach me, please."

* * *

><p>That night, the sky looked like blue velvet filled with millions of tiny light-bulbs The full moon shone brightly above, its beams scattered through the gray clouds that loomed in the atmosphere. The Ice Kingdom glimmered under its glow, the ice crystals like diamonds and the snow like silver. Cold winds blew between the mountain tops, all leading to one place: the Ice Queen's tower.<p>

Ice Queen itched at the transparent green cap on her forehead, brushing a few strands of scraggly white hair from her forehead. After moments of consideration, she set down the five cards she held in her grasp: three lords and two goddesses. "Max capacity. What cha' got?"

Gunta's flippers smacked against the icy table as she laid out her deck: five gods.

Ice Queen groaned, smacking her forehead with her palm as Gunta's flippers drew in all of her prodder coins. Then, leaning forward so much her chair fell back, she demanded, "Alright, stop cheating, or I'll-"

She stopped when the doorbell rang, the sound of frozen bells in the breeze. Ice Queen groaned, kicking at her chair as she stalked towards the icy block of her door. "Who could that possibly be at this time of night?"

When she opened the door, she thought someone was pulling on her leg. A little girl, not even in her double-digit ages, was glaring her pink up at her, her hands on her hips. "I command thee to feed me!"

Ice Queen made a sort of 'whau?!' sound as her hands smacked into her hips. She glared down at the girl, hissing, "Just what do you think you are?"

The little girl put one hand behind her back, the other hand's index finger against her bottom lip. When she opened her eyes again, they twinkled like amethysts. "Adorable~!"

Ice Queen stared at the girl in absolute shock for a moment before she melted. Which was odd, for the ruler of ice. Her eyes softened and her mouth formed into a wiggly smile. Her entire body deflated. "Let's get you something to eat, huh?"

The little girl, the Cute Queen, fist-pumped.

TRIVIA

_Le Agonisé _is a reference to _Les Misérables_.

Although Beema is genderless, Fionna refers to her as "my boy."

This is the season 3 premiere.


	53. Saluto Ut Lapsis

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Queen Alimpika-the ruler of the magical stadium. She rules over the spirits in the stadium, using them to go against Fionna in numerous events. Queen Alimpika seems to have been beautiful once, but is now nothing more than a rotting corpse. Her skin is a dark gray color, peeling away so that her bones are visible. She has a dismembered leg (most likely from a stadium accident) that now has a thin sword attached to the stub for a replacement limb. Her right shoulder and right thigh seem to be bound in bandages. She has one large, almond-shaped green eye, with the others sealed shut. She also has thin, shoulder-length black hair that falls away at the smallest movement. A small, brown-red tiara floats above her head. She wears many weapons on her body, such as two katana blades on her back, a knife on her left thigh and a sai attached to her right hand.

Athlete Spirits-the ghosts of the athletes who died in the arena. They were purposely defeated and forced to be enslaved by Queen Alimpika. The Athlete Spirits are transparent, pale blue ghosts that wear togas or stolas, and some carry the items they held when they died.

**SALUTO UT LAPSIS**

_Title Card_

_Fionna stands before the next Athlete Spirit, her javelin in her clammy grasp and her eyes ablaze with madness._

Cake panted as she jumped over yet another geyser, barely making it back to the ground before it erupted in scolding hot water once more. She cradled Fionna like a baby, the human girl sweaty with the heat and humidity in the air. Behind them, the Hot Dog Beast roared in a very Godzilla-like manner, splattering ketchup, mustard, and relish for miles. Knowing they'd be safe from then on out, Cake stopped and set Fionna back onto her feet. Fionna held a large sack on her back, bulging tremendously. She turned to Cake with a scolding glare. "Why didn't you listen! I told you, tryiing to eat it would just make it angry!"

"Sorry. I didn't eat lunch today," Cake said, then set down her own pack. "You got the loot?"

"Yeah, all here," Fionna smiled, and opened her sack. "C'mon, Porcupies, it's a'ight now."

The balls of spiky-sharp quills rustled, then opened their big, shining eyes up at Fionna thankfully. They chuffed at them as their tiny paws popped out of their bodies, and then they scurried away.

An odd sound reached Fionna's ears, like war-cries and metal hitting held up a hand, signaling Cake to be quiet. "Listen. Do you hear that?"

Before Cake could answer, Fionna began to climb the steep slope of the basin that held the geyser land inside. Cake stretched after her, picking her up and tossing her to the top.

Fionna looked up. On the grassy horizon, she could see an odd stadium. Its bricks, if that's what it was made of, were covered in ivy, dark and strong. The left half was almost completely wasted away, almost giving it the appearance of a chipped bowel. The bricks themselves were dark with years of dust and dirt, chipping away to the point of crumbling. The same war cries and metal clashing that Fionna had heard erupted from it, lively and dangerous.

"It's an...Ah-lee-imp-ei-ka stadium..." Fionna tried to exclaim, but she had difficulty pronouncing the word. Then, clearing her throat casually, she began to walk towards the stadium, hands behind her back. "Let's go check it out."

"You mean Alimpika?" Cake chuckled, sliding between Fionna's legs and growing in size until Fionna rode on her back.

"I'm not a dictionary, Cupcake. Pro-nun-cee-ah-tee-on is _not_ my thing."

It took a good five minutes to reach the stadium, which grew and grew as they approached. It was much bigger up close, the biggest building she'd ever seen. Big enough to store every building in the Candy Kingdom. They descended into the entrance tunnel, Cake's pawsteps echoing off the brick walls. Just as they were about to step inside the actual stadium, a flash of green, like a wall, made Cake jump back. Experimentally, Cake took a step forward. The green wall flashed again. With a quizzical look in her eyes, Fionna stepped off of Cake's back and leaned forward just enough to look inside but not trigger the wall. Inside, the ground of the arena was made entirely of earth, the size of a football field. Stone bleachers surrounded it, empty, bare, and crumbling.

"ATHLETES!"

A voice, old and raspy, made Fionna jump. A skeletal woman sat on top of a stony throne, like a corpse that had died there. Her skin was a dark gray color, as thin as paper and as delicate as insect wings. Some of it peeled away from her bones, which were rotting and ashy. Her right eye, the only one she had, was large and almond-shaped, the same color green as the flashing wall. The other eye, the left eye, was sealed shut, as if an eye had never been there. Her scraggly, shoulder-length, jet-black hair was a nest attached to her head, with a small auburn tiara floating above it. She'd looked like she'd seen better days, as well as horrid fights and battles. Her right leg went to her thigh before ending at a stub, with a long, thin sword to replace the rest of the missing limb. Her right shoulder and right they were bound tight in moldy bandages, with grimy patches of mildew growing on the fabric. Her body was covered in weapons, ready with the stroke of a hand. Two katana swords were strapped to her back, giving the appearance of deadly wings. On closer inspection, one could see that লাইভ যুদ্ধ and যুদ্ধ লাইভ were etched into the blades. A wicked knife was in a hilt at her thigh. A sai was attached to the bottom of her wrist, so the spiky blades jutted in-between her fingers.

"ATHLETES!" she called again, her head bobbing. This tiny movement made a handful of hairs cascade from her head. "Seek you honor from Queen Alimpika?"

It took Fionna a moment to realize the corpse, or Queen Alimpika, she guessed, was talking to her and Cake. She rose a hand, and the wall blazed in front of her. "Mayhaps."

"Then step forward, be..._yaaaaaand,_" the Queen's voice caught, and the word came out in a rasp, "the Sunlight Signet, and bathe in blood and glory for the rest of your mortal days."

Fionna considered this, then climbed onto Cake's back once more. "Nah. This is totally a trap."

Cake wiggled her arms at Queen Alimpika as she walked, backwards, out of the tunnel.

"You snuffed out that trap like a bloody-houndy," praised Cake as they were bathed in sunlight once more. "That stupid queeny was trying to snark us into that toally hexed stadium."

"I bet all the exits would magically lock themselves behind us," Fionna agreed with a scoff, laying down on Cake's back to rest her hands behind her head. Her sister's fur tickled her skin.

"We'd probably have to go against Athlete Spirits in a lot of sporty games," added Cake.

"Yeah...so stupid..." Fionna smiled, then frowned. "AND TOTALLY AMAZING!" She grabbed the fur at Cake's collar, yanking it so the cat was forced to turn around. Cake didn't try to resist, because she was already sprinting back for the stadium herself.

It seemed to take the blink of an eye for the girls to enter the tunnel again. This time, however, they did not slow down, but they charged right through the Sunlight Signet, tickling their skin and fur with warm sensations. The Signet made a high-pitched whine before the entrance replaced itself with a solid brick wall.

"We're here!" Cake said, as she shrunk herself down so that Fionna landed on her feet. The two girls struck dazzling poses, with separated feet and jazz hands.

"Fools!" Queen Alimpika cackled, her hair falling from her head in a scraggly rain. "Now thee must go against my Athlete Spirits!"

Fionna and Cake high-fived.

There was a loud, whisper-like sound in the air, like steam hissing from water. Fionna and Cake craned their necks to see where the sound came from, until they finally caught sight of it. Blooms of greenish-gray smoke erupted from the earth, curling into the air in ribbons as they formed into almost solid shapes. Finally, two Athlete Spirits, both girls, appeared in front of them, transparent and ghostly. It was almost entirely obvious how they died. The left one had a countless number of holes in its body, making her look like a walking block of Swiss cheese. The second Spirit looked similar, the majority of her skin charred black to the bone. But unlike the first Spirit, the remaining skin of the Spirit was covered in thick black dust, identical to coal. The names _Hypatia _and _Prima _hovered above them.

Prima suddenly disappeared in a bloom of fog, reappearing on a new stone platform about fifty yards to the right. Hypatia also disappeared, but reappeared five yards to the left. Fionna realized that it was going to be a relay race.

Fionna and Cake exchanged nods, and Cake stretched her foot fifty yards to the platform that Prima stood on, and brought herself over. Fionna dashed over to Hypatia's side, watching as a transparent torch materialized in the Athlete Spirit's hand, its flames pale and cold. Fionna felt something in her palm tingle, and when she raised it, a torch appeared in it, too. However, this torch was very real, with solid wood and warm flames, not transparent at all.

Queen Alimpika took out one of her katanas, the blade growing a bright silver color. A large silver gong next to her, rusty and decayed, rang out loudly, echoing over the entire stadium.

Fionna and Hypatia took off. At first, it didn't seem like anything. Just running as fast as they could, the torches raised high. But then, the obstacles appeared one by one as they came to them. Swinging axes appeared out of nowhere, their blades so sharp they could slice your entire body to shreds with one swipe. Fionna and Hypatia dodged all four of them easily, bobbing and weaving, barely escaping with their lives.

Next, three square chunks of the earth, ten by ten feet eat, disappeared, leaving two thin walkways of earth for the both of them to walk on. If that wasn't hard enough, spiky balls of steels jumped out of the pits, threatening to stab them and/or knock them into the bottomless trenches. Once again, bobbing and weaving was the key, and the Athlete Spirit and the human girl did so.

The final obstacle was actually fairly simple: a five-foot-wide trench, though filled with wicked spikes at the bottom. Fionna managed to hurtle this easily, and she expected Hypatia to do so as well. But the Athlete Spirit did not. She stumbled into the deadly trench, and Fionna understood the reason of all the holes in the ghost's body. As Hypatia fell to her death, turning to fog just as her body hit the spikes, she managed to cry out, "I'M SORRY, PRIMA!"

But the fallen spirit had stumbled in such a way that her torch went flying to the platform on which Prima and Cake stood. Prima caught her partner's torch just as Fionna handed hers to Cake.

The ghost and the feline took off like bullets, Cake playing fair by not using her stretchy powers. Prima seemed to glide on the air, and Cake ran on all fours. The only obstacles this duo faced were the boulders that fell from the sky like rain. Some as big as Fionna's fist, others the size of Prince Gumball. They weaved through the huge, falling rocks, watching the shadows carefully.

Their running took them to a long set of stone stairs. They dashed up them, the stone crumbling beneath their feet/paws, making them stumble blindly. Finally, they came to the top of the stairs, where they found a large stone basin filled with black rocks of coal. Cake pounced over to it, chucking her torch inside. The coal immediately blazed, the flames blooming upwards. Even though Cake had already won, Prima appeared two seconds later, her torch raised high. However, her foot caught on a stray stone, and the Athlete Spirit stumbled forward, right into the fire. She disappeared into fog, mixing in with the smoke that drifted up to the sky. "FORGIVE ME, HYPATIA!"

The gong sounded off once more, signifying the sisters' victory. Queen Alimpika's throne moved to the two girls, the earth beneath it grinding and scraping. "Excellent!" Two silver cauldrons appeared next to the queen, filled with an odd sort of seeds. They looked like grapes, but their centers were a bright orange color. "Take these arecacease seeds as your trophies!"

Fionna whooped as the cauldron landed in her awaiting palm. Cake's cauldron fell at her paws, toppling over so that the seeds spilled out. "That's a really louzay trophy." Cake turned to her sister, rubbing the area above her paws. "C'mon, Fifi, let's go home. My calves hurt."

"Awwww, you're too fragile," Fionna sighed, balancing a seed on her index finger. As the two girls turned to the exit, she added, "I'm keeping the seeds, though."

"Where do thy think thy art going?" Queen Alimpika took out both of her katana blades, pointing them at the two girls. Both the blades and the girls were cast in a silver glow. Fionna and Cake were lifted into the air.

"Thy must fight all of my Athlete Spirits to earn thy freedom!" Queen Alimpika rasped, her gray hair floating to the earth, turning to dust before they hit the dirt. "When thy art ready, speak Queen Alimpika's name, and I shall return you to battle."

The girls were thrown through the air, across the entire floor of the stadium. They sailed through the glassless window of what they could only suppose to be the locker rooms. It didn't really look like one, though. The entire place was filled with rusty suits of armor, destroyed weapons, and decayed skeletons. The lockers were nothing more than squares of space inside a stone wall, where rodents had created their nests. Strings of ivy dangled from the ceiling like streamers, drops of icy cold water landing on their heads and shoulders. Each step they took sunk into the floor as if it were made of mud.

"I have a plan," Fionna told her sister, shooing away a family of hungry rats who were after her Mary Janes. "We'll defeat all the Athlete Spirits to earn our freedom, and maybe Queen Alimpika's respect." Fionna's determined face fell into an unsure frown. "You'll follow the plan, right?"

"Yeah, fo sho!" Cake assured her. "But hey, if you make a DUMMY of me, I could stay down here and search for buried treasure!"

"That's...the exact opposite of my plan," Fionna slapped a palm to her face, so hard her nose burned. Then, quirking her eyebrows, she asked, "Why do you need to look for buried treasure, anyway?"

"Vigor!" replied Cake, wiggling her arms. "This place will be as fun...

_As a tropical island_

_As a tropical island_

_As a tropical island_

_As a tropical island!"_

Fionna laughed out loud, tackling Cake in a bone-crushing hug. The two of them tumbled for a minute, laughing their heads off, before they finally slowed to a stop. As Fionna continued chuckling, Cake picked herself up, walking towards the dusty, cobwebbed corner. Fionna craned her neck to see a small white punching back, patchy and cloaked with so much dust it was kinda gray. "Here, look."

As Cake approached the punching bag, she picked up stray items scattered around the floor, abandoned by their owners. By the time she had actually reached the punching bag, her arms were full of four dirty socks, a filthy towel, a small roll of duct tape, two shards of dull glass, and a old black permanent marker.

Cake towered over the punching bag, blocking out Fionna's view of the project she was working on. All she could hear were the stretches of the duck tape, the crunch of pebbles as Cake scooped them up from the floor, and the squeak of the marker as it drew on the punching bag. Cake finally pulled back, she beamed with pride. "See?"

She had managed to turn the punching bag into an amateur replica of herself. The white-gray fabric and the coffee-colored patches on the bag matched Cake's fur almost perfectly. The four socks, which served as the limbs, were filled with pebbles, making them sag, and thus making them longer. The sock-limbs were attached to the punching bag by the duct tape, so tight they could not be pulled free. The towel, also applied with duct tape, was stuck to the back of the bag, giving the appearance of a tail. The two shards of dull glass were jabbed into the top to make the ears. Cake had used the marker to draw her face on the front of the sleeping bag, and Fionna had to admit it looked pretty identical to her own face. To Fionna, it was obvious that it was a decoy, but Queen Alimpika had one eye and she knew Spirits couldn't see well.

"I give you..._Chicane Cake!" _proclaimed Cake, giving Fionna jazz paws. "Just like we planned!"

Fionna gave Cake a hesitant smile. The feline gave her a reassuring wink before she shrunk down to the size of a mouse. Seh then pounced into an old shoe, looking for who-knows-what.

Fionna sighed, picking up Chicane Cake and draping it over her left shoulder, holding her right hand on its back to support it. She then approached the window, cupping her mouth with her free hand to call, "WE ARTH READY, QUEEN ALIMPIKA!"

Immediately, Fionna and Chicane Cake were engulfed in silvery fog, lifting them into the air. They sailed through the window, shooting through the air until they came to Queen Alimpika, still seated on her throne. Fionna's feet hit the earth as Queen Alimpika chuckled. "Certari continues for thee human female and thee...feline?" Queen Alimpika's head tilted to the side in confusion, taking in Chicane Cake's appearance.

"Yeah," Fionna pretended to rub Chicane Cake between the ears. "This is feline."

Queen Alimpika dropped the subject, raising a katana sword to the air. As the blade glimmered in silver fog, she commanded, "Arise, Pricilla. Arise, Venus."

Two plumes of ashy green fog rose from the earth, swirling in the air as they took their forms. Finally, two female Spirits stood before Fionna and Chicane Cake, glaring icily through milky white eyes. The first one-Pricilla, according to the letters above her head-was bulky and bulging, and not just because of muscles, either. The dead woman had been pummeled and beaten so hard her skin was deformed horribly, lumps the size of fists and gashes bone-deep. Her eyes almost entirely swollen shut and her teeth were nothing more than jagged pebbles of white. The second Athlete Spirit, Venus, was exactly the same, though she was a bit skinnier when she died.

Fionna then noticed the thick, cushioned gloves that swallowed up the ghosts' hands. The second she noticed it, identical gloves appeared on her own hands, cushioned on the inside and leathery on the outside. Beside her, another pair of gloves appeared on Chicane Cake's paws.

Oh. So the next game would be boxing.

Four thick poles surrounded the four girls, rusted and bent. Snake-like ropes span out from the poles, connecting them together so that they formed a square. The earth of the ring turned into fabric, smelling badly of mildew and mold.

The gong rang out.

Fionna flung herself at Pricilla. She jumped high into the air, raising her gloved fist in a punch. Pricilla dodged this, spinning around as Fionna flew over her shoulder. The Spirit punched the human girl in the middle of her spine, knocking the wind out of her. Fionna fell to the floor of the boxing ring on all fours, scraping her knees.

Venus punched Chicane Cake squarely, who was left limp on the floor by Fionna. The punch was so hard that the decoy feline's seams burst open, sand spilling out like blood. Venus continued to pummel Chicane Cake, flinging its body over her shoulder and punching it again and again. Soon, sand was scattered everywhere, and Chicane Cake looking identical to an empty sack of flour, with broken shards of glass and shredded socks for limbs.

Venus suddenly burst into tears, holding Chicane's Cake sack-like body close to her chest. "FORGIVE ME, PRICILLA!"

"The feline has fallen," Queen Alimpika tried to say gravely, but a grin overtook her decayed face, flashing two wickedly yellow teeth, as holed as Swiss cheese.

Fionna dodged Pricilla's fist as it sailed down to her. She rolled over, the Spirit's hand smashing into the fabric of the floor so that it left a deep indentation. While she was occupied, Fionna pounced at her, sailing her fist into the ghost's face.

Pricilla sailed backwards, tears spilling from her eyes. As she gasped for air, she whispered, "Λυπάμαι, Venus."

Fionna sent her glove into Pricilla's face once more. The ghost disappeared into smoky fog instantly.

The gong sounded off. Fionna had won once more. The ring disappeared, the ropes, poles, and fabric floor dissolving into wisps of foggy smoke.

"The competing shall sojourn for the time being," Queen Alimpika proclaimed, raising a bony hand that trembled with the movement. "Step forward, victor. And claim your prize."

* * *

><p>Back in the locker room, the entire floor was covered in mountains of muddy dirt. Cake had her legs combined together, forming a drill. She was hammering into the earth, mud splattering her fur and skin. She was making a <em>"drudrudrudru" <em>sound with her lips, mimicking the sound of an actual drill.

_GONG! GONG! _

Cake ceased her drilling. Looking up questionably (she was already seven feet down), her forehead furrowed and her muzzle in an amused smile, she mused, "Two gongs? Something banaynays is goin' on."

Cake stretched herself out of the hole, in front of one of the glassless windows in the room. Stretching down to the ground of the stadium, she sneakily dashed towards the blots that were Fionna and Queen Alimpika, stretching her legs to make her move faster.

When she found Chicane Cake's fallen body, mutilated beyond recognition, she balled it up in a wad and chucked it into the bleachers near the locker rooms. Then, she smiled and made herself seen. "Cake in the stadium! Always has been!"

Cake cut off in confusion when she saw the scene in front of her. Fionna was approaching Queen Alimpika on her throne, the decayed royal giving her a horrible smile that made her entire face wrinkle like paper. "Closer, my champion. You have proven worthy of my favor."

"Dang straight," Fionna chimed, beaming proudly.

Queen Alimpika took out her katana swords, glowing a brighter silver than they ever had before. They both touched down on Fionna's shoulders.

Fionna's body became outlined in a sickly white glow. Goosebumps appeared and disappeared on her skin over and over in a strobe-like manner. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes going entirely white. She spoke foreign words, but her mouth never moved.

_"__Θα σκοτώσω όποιον ζήτηση, βασίλισσά μου.__"_

Cake's tail frizzled with the eerie feeling that crept up her spine. "Bad feeling. I got a baaaaad feeling about this."

Queen Alimpika waved a hand. A gold cauldron appeared next to her, filled with arecaceae seeds to the brim. The cauldron hovered down to Fionna, becoming outlined in the human girl's silver glow. "Accept your trophy, my victorious champion."

Fionna didn't hesitate. She snatched the cauldron from the air, plunging her hand inside to scoop up a handful of the grape-like seeds. She stuffed them into her mouth, barely having chewed them before stuffing in more. Soon, the cauldron was empty and Fionna's face was dripping with orange juice. Fionna wiped it away with her arm, and suddenly kicked the air around her. She then pumped her fists twice, then twisted around with her leg held high.

Cake approached her sister cautiously. "Fifi?"

"The feline lives," Queen Alimpika tried to smile, but her disappointment was obvious.

"Yeah, I lives," Cake replied, then turned back to her sister. "Fifi, c'mon, let's-"

Fionna suddenly did a 90-degree spin, pumping her leg towards Cake's face. Cake managed to dodge it, stretching away far enough so that she went uninjured. But that didn't mean unsurprised. Cake gawked at her sister, her eyes the size of baseballs. "FIFI! WHAT THE CRIBBLES?"

Fionna suddenly came to her senses. She brought her leg back to the earth, her eyebrows furrowed in apology and confusion. "S-sorry, Cupcake." Fionna's gaze then hardened to a scolding look. "But you shouldn't sneak up on me like that."

"Rest yourselves, athletes," commanded Queen Alimpika, her katana swords already shining silver.

With a wave of the blades, the two girls shot through the air in a wisp of silver. When they burst through the window of the locker room, Fionna landed on her feet perfectly. She then continued punching and kicking the air, sometimes raising her arms as if she were defending herself.

Cake watched with absolute confusion and worry. "So...uh...how's the plan goin'?"

"What plan?" snapped Fionna, narrowing her eyes at the feline as she raised her leg and fist at the same time.

Cake gaped at her sister. "The plan to get out of here! Remember? I get the buried treasure, you go against all the ghoulies."

"Yes, I compete with the Spirits," Fionna smiled a creepy smile. "To hear the crowds screaming in praise, to receive the prizes of glory..."

"There are no crowds," interrupted Cake, folding her arms over her chest. "And the only prizes you've been getting are those dang tree seeds."

"I COMPETE TO COMPETE," roared Fionna, causing Cake to cower back. Fionna suddenly dashed to the window, leaning over to pick up Chicane Cake's demolished body. She pulled it inside, already beginning to stuff it with pebbles.

Cake watched her sister with extreme uncertainty. _Fifi's being oddballs. Her vigor must be dangerously low. Gotta get that treasure soon._

In no time at all, Fionna had managed to restore Chicane Cake entirely, its seams tight and its body filled heavy with sand and pebbles. She practically pounced on the window, screaming, "I AM READY TO COMPETE, MY HIGHNESS!"

Fionna and Chicane Cake were immediately shot from the window in a blur of silver. When Fionna's feet hit the earth, she dropped Chicane Cake and braced herself for competition.

* * *

><p>Cake, meanwhile, continued to stare at the window, even though Fionna was long gone. She then turned back to the deep hole in the earth, her eyes narrowed in determination. "Gotta find dat booty. For Fifi."<p>

Cake smiled, and began to sway her hips.

_"On a tropical island,_

_Down by the crystal water_

_Hangin' with the Kuhanas,_

_Askin' questions while we eat bananas!"_

* * *

><p>Six Athlete Spirits materialized with a wave of Queen Alimpika's katana blades. They were all huge, with meaty muscles and thick bones. They all snarled at Fionna in a beastly manner, tears streaming down their faces.<p>

Fionna knew what this was: The Polemos. And it was going to be six Athlete Spirits against a human girl and a fake cat.

Perfectly fine with her.

The first ghost appeared next to her in a bloom of smoke. Achelous, as the letters above his head titled him, was twice as tall as Fionna and five times as big. His muscles were the size of garbage bins and his chest was as thick as an oak tree's. His head was oddly shaped, however. It was as if something large, thin, and round had sailed right into his face, molding into it as if his skull were made of clay.

Achelous's hand began to tremble. A moment later, a large object, the size of a large dinner plate, was held inside his grasp. It was round and heavy, made out of an alloy like copper. Fionna identified it as a diskos. Just as she did so, she felt her hand glimmer. Before she knew it, she had a diskos of her own in her grasp. It was very, very heavy, and she had to use both hands to carry it.

So this first Polemos would be a Diskos Throw. Fionna watched as Achelous turned his body, his left arm (the one with the diskos) curling around his torso. With a grunt, his arm slung out, sending the diskos flying through the air. It sailed far over the bleachers, right into the brick barrier wall. It stayed there, stuck inside the foundation.

Fionna felt a new strength surge through her. The diskos in her hand, once unbearably heavy, became lighter than a feather. She flung it, sending it flying like a bullet.

The diskos curved to the right, spinning around the entire stadium. The Athlete Spirits, Fionna, and Queen Alimpika turned their bodies to watch it. As it completed its full wrap around the stadium, the diskos went sailing right back towards Fionna and Achelous. It sailed right into Achelous's face, filling the inedntation perfectly.

"Συγχώρεσέ με, my friend!" he cried, before he disappeared forever.

The next Polemos commenced without hesitation. Tethys, the next Athlete Spirit, appeared next to Fionna the same way Achelous did. Tethys was the slimmest of the six Athlete Spirits, though she was thicker than normal. She also had a large hole right through her chest, looking as if something sharp and rod-like had speared her. She held a akontio in her grasp, a long, light spear used in common Polemos.

And so, the next Polemos would be a Akontio Throw. Fionna's own akontio appeared in her grasp before she was even aware of it.

Tethys dashed forward about twenty or so feet before she let her akontio fly. The spear sliced through the air for a long moment before finally embedding itself inside a large boulder near the end of the stadium.

Fionna knew the boulder was the target. She didn't dash forward, she simply swung back her arm and sent the javelin flying.

The javelin shot through the air. However, instead of giong straight for the boulder, it did an odd curve and sailed right towards Tethys, piercing her right through the hole in her chest.

"Λυπάμαι!" She cried just as she vanished into thin air.

The javelin chose then to pierce the boulder.

And so, Polemos Three commenced. Two large stone pillars erupted from the earth, stretching ten feet high before a thick steel rod materialized between them.

The Alma Polomos. Somewhat simple in sequence, but difficult to actually pull off. The athlete had to jump backwards, avoiding hitting the pole whilst landing on his/her feet perfectly.

Amazon, the next Spirit, materialized next to Fionna whilst already in his preparing stance. Amazon's appearance confused Fionna. His entire body was filled with holes the size of small bowels, supposedly from multiple stab wounds. How did someone die from stab wounds just from jumping over a pole?

Fionna didn't linger on it for long. Amazon took off, charging for the pole with great speed. When he reached it, he twisted his body as he leaped. Amazon just missed the pole, and it seemed like he would be successful.

But in the blink of an eye, the ground beyond the pole and its pillars split open, and Fionna could just make out the tips of razor-sharp spikes at the bottom. Amazon sailed right into the pit, letting out a cry of "συγχωρώ-!" Just as he died again.

Fionna pulled off the jump flawlessly. She charged, leaped, and curved her body with perfect grace, landing on her feet almost impossibly. She smiled. Three out of six Polomos won. Just three more to go.

The fourth Athlete Spirit, Tripura, appeared immediately. Though her form was large and tall, her body was as thin as Fionna's hand. Like someone had steam-rolled her flat.

When Tripura knelt down into her stance, and two-digit numbers appeared on the earth in white, it was clear that the next Polomos would be a simple Ektelesi. Just a race. A simple race with no obstacles of any sort.

The goal would be the gong, which somehow moved to the other side of the stadium without any notice. The gong sounded off without anything hitting it, and the two girls took off.

Fionna knew something was off when they reached the fifty yard checkpoint. Wonderfully, miraculously off. She didn't feel tired in any way at all. It was like she _couldn't _get tired. Her stamina never decreased, if anything, it only _in_creased. In no time at all, she was blasting past Tripura in a cloud of dust.

Fionna's hand slapped the gong so hard it went off as if her hand were a mallet. Tripura didn't seem to notice. She continued to charge for the gong, so fast she didn't have time to stop. She slammed right into the gong, making her thin body only thinner. She disappeared with a whispered apology.

"That was for you, my Queen!" proclaimed Fionna, her smile so big it was almost impossible.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Cake was laying in the mountain of dirt that had formed in the locker room. She had taped two shards of glass together as sunglasses, which now rested over her eyes. She held a broken cup in her paw, a tiny umbrella formed out of a scarp of cloth and a toothpick inside. The cup was supposed to be filled with juice, but all Cake could get was thick, muddy water that she didn't dare drink. Cake set her arms behind her head, smiling contently.<p>

_"Sittin' by the sea_

_As peaceful as can be_

_Lyin' in the sunshine,_

_Lyin' in the sunshine."_

* * *

><p>Fionna continued to pull off the last two Polomos. The fifth one was a Pali Match with a Spirit named Rumina, where they basically just wrestled with each other until Rumina died from a blow to the skull. The final one was a Arma Race, in which Fionna and a two-headed spirit named Roma and Ruma rode on rickety chariots pulled by skeleton horses. Fionna did not notice it, but Queen Alimpika's mouth and eyes were blasting out some sort of green energy whilst she competed. The energy grew as Fionna continued to win.<p>

All the Polomos had been won by Fionna. As the gong sounded off her victory, Fionna bowed on one knee before Queen Alimpika. "I hath defeated all of thy athletes, my queen."

"Nay, my champion," Queen Alimpika smiled a yellow-toothed smile. "One athlete still remains."

"Where art the athlete?!" demanded Fionna, jumping straight to her feet. "I shall defeat them!"

"The final athlete...IS THY DEAR COMPANION."

Queen Alimpika's katanas swiped through the air. Chicane Cake, who was just in the dirt the entire time, lifted into the air and moved towards the human girl and the queen. It dropped limp right in front of Fionna.

The final Polomos would be a Thanatos Battle.

A battle to the death.

Fionna chuckled. A horrible, raspy, deranged chuckle that wasn't supposed to belong to a teenage girl. Bending down to pluck a stray dagger from the earth, she approached the fake feline, her chuckle growing louder.

She brought the dagger down, stabbing Chicane Cake right between the eyes.

* * *

><p><em>"Get me out of this ro-o-om<em>

_Cos it's filled with nothing but glo-o-om._

_And if I stick to the pla-a-an._

_I may turn into an island woma-a-an._

_I MAY TURN INTO AN ISLAND WOMAN!"_

Cake finished her song with satisfaction. Deciding to take a break from digging, she stretched out of the window, going to check on Fionna. Her paws hit the earth, and she stood up, smiling. "Hey, Fifi, how's the plan-WHAT THE WHAT?"

Fionna was tearing Chicane Cake to shreds. The glass ears were crushed to dust. The socks were stripped away, its pebbles spilled onto the dirt. The rag of a tail was nothing but shreds, and the punching bag was torn beyond recognition. Fionna continued to rip apart the fabric, growling and snarling. She even scooped up a handful of sand and _ate _it.

Cake gasped so loudly her throat clenched.

Fionna heard. She spat out the sand, raising her head up in such a way it reminded Cake of a animal looking up from a meal. Her eyes were filled with a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"Why hath thy stopped?" demanded Queen Alimpika. The decaying royal tilted her head, sending gray hair raining.

"This feline was a farse!" Fionna answered, grabbing a handful of sand and letting it cascade between her fingers. She jabbed a finger at Cake, her eyes ablaze. "Let me defeat the _real _feline!"

Cake choked.

"Smite her in my name!" Queen Alimpika cackled, raising a katana blade to point at Cake.

Fionna smiled a nightmarish smile. "Yes, my queen."

Fionna grabbed her dagger swiftly, charging towards her sister. When she brought the dagger down, Cake dove to the left, yelling, "What about the plan?"

"THIS _IS _THE PLAN!" cried Fionna, slicing the razor-sharp blade at Cake's belly.

Cake jumped back, her muzzle agape. "You're gonna _kill _me?"

"OF COURSE I AM!"

The dagger almost took off Cake's ears. The feline stretch-jumped to the bleachers, trying to find some safety. Fionna only hurtled the wall, charging after the feline. "This entire competition hath been leading to this! The final battle! SISTER AGAINST SISTER!"

"NO!" Cake cried, jumping back into the stadium.

"Yes!" Queen Alimpika cried back, a yellowed tooth falling from her smile.

As Fionna charged at Cake once more, the feline knew she had to do something. So she charged back at her sister, wrapping her body around her torso and lifting her into the air. Fionna tried slicing her sister's head again and again, going for an instant kill. She snarled in frustration. "QUEEN ALIMPIKA!"

The dagger slipped from her grasp.

"I can't do it, Queen Alimpika. I can't kill my sister."

Cake felt her muzzle twitch in a smile. "Fifi?"

"...NOT WITHOUT A BIGGER WEAPON!"

Queen Alimpika let out a shriek of absolute relish, grinning so wide flakes of skin fell to the earth. She raised her katana swords high, shining as silver as stars. "YES! FINISH HER!" She tossed the blades into the air.

Fionna caught them with both hands. She raised them high, the points aimed right at Cake's body.

Cake gasped and clamped her eyes shut, bracing herself for searing pain. "No...!"

Fionna threw the swords to the ground.

When they made impact, they immediately shattered to pieces. Two gigantic blooms of silver vapor lifted into the air, combining together before bursting into a shower of dull sparks.

Queen Alimpika let out a faint, raspy shriek, her jaw opening to incredible size. She instantly began to deteriorate. Every last strand of her gray, scraggly hair fell from her scalp, turning to dust before they touched the ground. Her green eye went from shining bright to going pitch black. The small crown hovering above her head fell to the ground with a small 'clink'. Her skin, already ashen and decayed, shriveled and turned as white as paper. Even her weapons began to crumble to dust. By the time sunshine began to pour through the thick gray clouds, Queen Alimpika was nothing more than a broken corpse.

At once, all of the stone-walled exits and entrances sizzled, disappearing into thin air.

Fionna turned to Cake, who was still staring at Fionna in total horror. Fionna smiled, a real smile, and winked at her sister. "Wink." She nudged Cake's arm.

"WHAT?!" cried Cake. She let her twisted body fall to the ground, setting Fionna free. "That was all _fake? _That was an _act? _That was part of the _plan?_"

Fionna set her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest proudly. "Yuh-huh."

Something hissed behind them. Fionna and Cake span around, planning on seeing a horde of angry spirits charging at them. They _did _see the Athlete Spirits, but much, much different. Instead of being greenish-gray, they were now snowy white, pure and clean. They were no longer murderous, angry, or apologetic, but they were now smiling at the two sisters, laughing and giving them thumbs-ups.

Fionna, Cake, and all of the Athlete Spirits walked out together. The sunshine made the spirits sparkle, their forms like diamonds. Fionna tilted her head back, letting the sun's rays warm her cheeks and bruises.

"So the plan was to get cozy with Queen Alimpika and almost kill me from the start?" Cake asked for clarification.

"Yeup."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Cos you always bagundle my plans. But if you had actually begundled this one..." Fionna glared at her sister, her lips pulled back in a snarl. _"I would have for real killed you."_

Fionna and Cake burst into soft laughter. Wiping tears from her eyes, Cake chuckled, "That's some groovy joovy, sistah."

"Hey, Cupcake, did you notice how all of these Spirits are walking in pairs of two?" Fionna waved an arm to the Spirits around them. Sure enough, they were all walking in pairs of two, smiling and laughing in silent conversations. As the duo watched, the Spirits' images began to waver, similar to heat off of a fire. Then, their forms began to disintegrate, vanishing into wisps of white light that fluttered up into the sky.

"I bet they're like us," Cake smiled, waving to the retreating ghosts. They kindly waved back. "Two sistahs who got trapped in dat funkay junkay stadium."

"But they're free now," the human girl sighed.

As the two girls walked away, thinking over the events of their day, the stadium bloomed into white vapor, swirling up into the sky to be with the clouds...

TRIVIA

This episode was extremely based off of Greek culture:

**1. **The odd language that is spoken is Greek.

**2. **The stadium and the games played inside are based off of the Greek Olympics.

**3. **'Alimpika' is Bengali for 'Olympic'

লাইভ যুদ্ধ and যুদ্ধ লাইভ , the language etched into Queen Alimpika's blades, mean "Fight to Live" and "Live to Fight" in Bengali.


	54. Recollection of a Recollection

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Marshal Lee**—is a counterpart of Marceline. He has the same abilities as Marceline. Marshall Lee has pointy ears and light blue skin. His hair is shorter than Marceline's but he has a matching permanent bite mark. He initially wore a grey plaid shirt, but now wears a red and black plaid shirt. He also wears dark blue jeans, and brownish-white sneakers. His outfits differ in the episodes, though, like Prince Gumball. Though Marceline has circle-shaped eyes, his eyes are rectangular. Unlike Marceline's forked, snake-like tongue, Marshall Lee's tongue is rounded. Marshall Lee is a wild rock star. Centuries of wandering the Land of Aaa have made him a fearless daredevil. He and Marceline both have regular electric bass guitars.

**Ashley-**Marshall Lee's immortal ex-girlfriend. He broke up with her because she sold his beloved bear, Hamba, in exchange for a Sakura Wand. Ashley, like Marshall Lee, has light gray skin and slightly pointed ears. Her skin is slightly darker than Maeshall Lee's. She has three wisps of long, white hair, one of which falls in the middle of her face. She wears a short, V-neck black dress with ripped, upturned sleeves, a choker, and a small puch of Magic Dust at her side.

**RECOLLECTION OF A RECOLLECTION**

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake reach out for Marshall Lee, who lays asleep on his bed, gravity lifting all three of them into nothingness..._

Cake's paws hit the water with a loud splash.

She was panting rhythmically, wiping sweat from her fur every now and then. It was sweltering hot that day, with every being in Aaa taking shelter in the cool of their homes. Running wasn't a good activity at the moment. Stretched thirty feet tall, Cake towered over the treetops like a golem, the elevation only making her more suffocated. On her right shoulder sat her human sister, Fionna. On her other shoulder was a woman who referred to herself as the Scrap Witch, a green-skinned, purple-haired person who had busted into their Treehouse, screaming that 'He's in trouble!' whilst tearing their furniture apart. With a filthy, mildewed hood, a tunic made from sloppily-sewn scraps of unruly cloth, and no legs whatsoever, the Scrap Witch looked more like a hobo than a magical being.

"Hurry!" she cried again, in her deep, raspy voice. Cake did so, stretching her aching legs further. "He's in danger!"

Cake turned to her sister, who leaned in to hear her without the Scrap Witch overhearing. "Who is this wingnut talking about?"

"I haven't the slightest clue," Fionna whispered back, her thin eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Wha-? Then why am I running so fast?!"

"Because-"

"Because he's in danger!" the Scrap Witch snapped, causing the two girls to jump (and thus causing Fionna and the Scrap Witch to almost bounce of off Cake's shoulders entirely.) "He's in trouble!"

"Who's in trouble?" Fionna and Cake asked in symmetrical unison.

"Marshall Lee!"

Fionna gasped at the news that her 1000+ vampire-king friend was in grave danger. Marshall Lee could probably take care of himself, but what if the danger he was being faced with was just too much for the vampire teen? She turned to her sister with a cry of, "HURRY, CUPCAKE!"

"Geronimo!" the feline whooped before taking off at top speed, Fionna and the Scrap Witch hanging on for dear life as water whipped at their faces.

* * *

><p>The trio entered Marshall Lee's Cave-Swamp a short time later, the agonizing heat turning comfortably cool. The smell of must and foliage filled their nostrils so much it almost stunned them. The emerald green water, though exceedingly clean, turned Cake's white fur honeydew in color. Cake shrank down a good bit, but thick, stringy vines still tickled their faces and shoulders like feathery snakes. Marshall Lee's house sat on a rock bed, looking odd in the eerie environment.<p>

Cake's forehead furrowed, and she turned to the Scrap Witch. "Hey, how do ya know Marshall Lee, anyway?"

"I...am his Soul Beast."

"...Oh."

The feline's enlarged paw met the wood of the vampire king's porch. As she shrunk down to normal size, the Scrap Witch and Fionna climbed off of Cake's back. All three charged for the mahogany door, with Scrap Queen a bit behind due to her having to crawl with her arms.

When the door creaked open, Fionna and Cake gasped shrilly.

Marshall Lee, the Vampire King, was out cold on the black carpet of his living room. With his arms splayed at his sides, his mouth agape, and his jet-black hair a disheveled mess, he actually seemed like he had fallen asleep, rather than being knocked out. The Colombia blue button-down, loose white jeans and cerise slippers only added to the sleeping image. Fionna and Cake rushed to the vampire's side immediately. Fionna could hear his breathing, slow and steady. She shook him, trying to wake him up, but the movement did nothing. If anything, her friend only fell deeper into slumber. "Marshall Lee!" Fionna turned around to address the Scrap Witch. "What's wrong with him?!"

"He accidentally cast a Slumber Spell on himself," the Scrap Witch replied, struggling to balance her upper body with only her arms. "And now he is trapped in an endless coma."

"Tell us how to break the spell," commanded Fionna as her sister brushed the vampire's bangs from his face.

"I shall transport you both into Marshall Lee's brain, where you will travel through his memories and find his Cognizance Essence." As the Scrap Witch told them this, her elbows bent with emphasis.

"Whadda we do after that?" asked Cake.

"Find the memory of Marshall Lee casting the Slumber Spell on himself. When you touch it, you and the memory will immediately be taken back into the real world."

Cake put her paws on her hips, quirking her eyes. "If you know all of this, why do we have to do it? Why not just do it yourself?"

"Entering one's brain can be a dangerous descent. And I have no legs. Just arms."

With a grunt of effort, the Scrap Witch lifted one of her aged arms, balancing herself on the other with great difficulty. She reached out her greenish, wrinkled fingers to Fionna's chest, right where her heart was.

Immediately, Fionna felt her body turn hot and cold at the same time. Her bones seemed to tremble and her skin felt like it was melting. Waves of icy heat exploded from her heart, pumping into the rest of her body.

Just as soon as the sensation came, it was over. Fionna rubbed her chest, expecting a burn of a bump or something along those lines. But all she felt was her chest, smooth and satiny. "What did you do?"

"When you get close to the memory, your heart will glow." The Scrap Witch struggled to move one of her hands to her side. Snatching a scruffy blue bag from her belt of rope, she handed it to Fionna. "Take this Magic Dust. Sit down and breathe it in."

Fionna and Cake complied, sitting down on the red sofa. They sunk deep into the black leather, as if it were made of quicksand. Fionna opened the bag, and immediately, a sweet, stunning fragrance filled her nostrils in a puff of silvery dust. Cake breathed it in as well, and immediately, the feline's back arched in a yawn. Fionna felt it, too. She sofa was like a cloud, cooing for her to surrender to slumber.

"Feel sleepy?" Fionna heard the Scrap Witch ask. Her voice was soft, only a wisp of sound.

Fionna and Cake tried to nod, but found that their heads were to heavy to move. So they tried to reply, but their lips felt like stone. So they just made low moaning sounds from her throats.

"Very good...sleep now..."

Her voice was so soothing, so calming, Fionna felt like slumber was hugging her to death. She closed her eyes, losing the strength to keep them open...

"BUT BE WARNED!"

The Scrap Witch's voice rose ten octaves, making Fionna awaken, if only for a split second. Through her cloudy eyes, she could make out the Scrap Witch's form, a big blob of gray and green.

"If you fail, Marshall Lee will be trapped in an endless coma, trapping you two in his brain for all eternity."

Fionna managed to croak out a gasp before sleep began to pull at her once more. As the world became clouded with black, and her body felt like a mound of weighted feathers, she heard the whispered voice of the Scrap Witch.

_"For all eternity...all eternity...eternity..."_

That was the last she remembered before she finally fell victim to slumber.

* * *

><p><em>Fionna and Cake's eyes snapped open.<em>

_They felt as if they'd been asleep for a thousand years. So much energy pent up inside them, waiting to be burned off. Eyelids no longer heavy, brains to longer jellied, and bodies no longer weak. Now they were light, stony, and strong. They picked themselves up off of the leather couch, their bodies leaving imprints in the soft material._

_The two girls frowned. Couch?_

_The two girls took in their surroundings. The same two windows embedded in the same blood red walls, the same picture of a bloody knife over the same old juke box, the same leather sofas sitting on top of black carpets, the same small television. Everything was the same. Everything, even beyond the windows. _

_"I don't think it worked," Cake commented. _

_"I don't think so, either," agreed Fionna. "Nothing seems different."_

_Cake did a full 180, trying to find some sort of difference in the environment. Something caught her eye, and she stopped. The back of the sofa, if one would look veeeeeeeeeery closely, seemed to be wavering. Nothing big at all, just a tiny tremble of energy, a flicker of a candle's flame. Experimentally, Cake took a step forward._

_That did it. Suddenly, the sofa grew. Its form shot out, the cushions exploding in size. The growing sofa's front hit the girls' knees, making them fall onto the ever-growing seating device. _

_Suddenly, it seemed as if they were riding on the most amazing, most spectacular, most flabbergasting roller-coaster ride in all of existence. They stayed seated on the sofa, riding it as it continued to move at light-speed. Things began to grow around them. Trees sprung from the dark ground, turning from little sprouts to mighty oaks in a matter of seconds. Bushes and foliage burst to life like popcorn kernels. The black carpet quickly transformed into grass, alive and somewhat healthy. The roof seemed to fade and fade until it became the sky, endless blue-gray dotted with ashy clouds. Everything changed. The smell of leather turned into must, the air going from cool to humid._

_The ride finally stopped. Fionna and Cake stepped down onto the hay-like grass, dry and choked. The sofa, which now seemed like an endless mass of soft black leather, shot away from existence. Now, Fionna and Cake were in the middle of a jungle. But it seemed eerie, like almost all life had been sucked out of it. The bark, instead of brown, was black, the leaves gray instead of green. Even the dirt seemed dead. They could see wreckage scattered about, oddly. A car tire here, a plane wing there. Fionna and Cake took it all in with stunned awe._

_"Which way do we go?" Fionna asked in a whisper._

_Cake, in response, lifted her ears to the air. To the North, East, and West, all she heard was silence. But to the South, she could hear the soft cackling of fire, the crunch of gravel, the whisper of paper brushing across the earth. Cake waved a paw in that direction. "This way!"_

The two girls charged through the underbrush, thorns scraping their skin and grass tickling their ankles. When they reached the forest line, they gasped.

_Immediately, they knew that the place/time they were in wasn't all that much after the Great Fungi War. For miles around, all they saw was destruction. Abandoned furniture and household items lay scattered around like discarded toys. All plant life they could see was either dead or dying. In the sky, it was unknown what as a gray cloud or what was smoke. Every building, as far as the eye could see, was almost entirely demolished. Some were caved in, some were crumbling in the breeze, some were just heaps of wood and paint. Electrical poles were fallen to the earth, cars lay fiery on their sides, stray animals scurried for cover. _

_"Where's Marshall Lee?" Fionna asked, her eyes scanning the area around her. "Shouldn't he be here?"_

_Cake hummed, and followed her sister's gaze whilst using her advanced sense of sight. "There he is!"_

_Cake pointed to a house down below. Or, at least, what was left of it. The one remaining half of the house, painted a chipping blood-red color with shattered windows and falling shingles, was caved into the earth. In the front yard, which had parched grass and scorched rocks, sat a young boy who could only be Marshall Lee. He had the same light blue skin, pointed ears, tousled black hair, and all the same facial features, from his mischievous black eyes to his sharp fangs. But he was much, much younger than the Marshall Lee they knew. He was about two heads shorter, with dimples and a bit of remaining baby fat. He was dressed poorly, in only a rose quarts T-shirt, Payne's gray overalls, and nothing on his feet but one tattered sock. A mint green toy was in his hands, looking like something between a monkey and a bear. It had seen better days, obviously. Its fabric, once bright and vibrant, was dark and mildewed, covered in deep-colored patches and stitches sewn sloppily. One of its button eyes were missing, leaving just an empty space on its head._

_"Hey, Little Marshie."_

_'Marshie' looked up questioningly. Fionna and Cake stood before him, smiling down with glistening eyes._

_Both girls had the exact same thought in their heads:_

_Marshall Lee was so adorable!_

_"Who are you?" Marshie asked in a somewhat rude manner, holding his toy close to his chest, as if for protection._

_"We're Fionna and Cake!" the human teenager replied bubbly. _

_"We're ya friends!" added Cake._

_"Hamba is my only friend," Marshie looked down at his little green toy with absolute love. He held it up so that the two girls could see it clearly. "See?" Marshie frowned and examined the stuffed animal's face. "You need another transplant, Mrs. Hamba. Luckily, we have a donor." Marshie set the toy down, plucking a button from one of his overall straps. As the strap fell limp, Marshie talked to himself. "Doctor, hand me a string. Yes, Nurse." Marshie reached over to a fallen string spool, picking off the last inch of string entwined inside a needle. Marshie sighed. "Our last piece." Turning to Hamba, he instructed, "Be still." As he stuck the needle through one of the button holes, into the stuffed animal's head. "This hurts me more than it hurts you."_

_"Hey, Marshie?"_

_Marshie huffed and looked up at Fionna and Cake, who were still staring at him. "What?"_

_"We're trying to wake you up from a coma," replied Fionna._

_"Do you know where your Cognizance Essence is?" asked Cake._

_"No clue." Marshie pointed over to a rusted hatch embedded in the earth. "But there may be anything down that hatch."_

_"Ooh!" Cake dashed over to the hatch, twisting the large valve and opening the hatch with a loud creak. "Cupcakes and Popsicles!" A gush of cool air made her fur flutter, and she looked down the hatch questionably. "This door leads to a new memory." Cake beamed. "And I see food!" Cake gasped in excitement before leaping straight down the hatch. "Sherbet!"_

_"I want some, too!" Fionna jumped down after her sister._

* * *

><p><em>Immediately, she was engulfed by black darkness. She fell and fell, finding herself becoming lighter and lighter. Is this what Alice felt like when she was falling down the rabbit hole? <em>

_Suddenly, gravity took a sharp turn. Fionna's body flew to the right, being pulled down by a different force of gravity._

_Fionna's feet hit cool metal for a split second before it burst open. Fionna found herself in a new atmosphere, clutching onto whatever had opened her to it. As Cake suddenly appeared, clutching onto her ankles, Fionna took in her environment._

_She was in Marshall Lee's kitchen, for sure. She recognized the stainless steel fridge, the blood-red cabinets and counters, checkered tiles and pale purple walls. What made it Marshall Lee's kitchen for absolute certainty was the multiple cutting knives and the large jug of rabbit blood on the counter._

_It was Marshall Lee's kitchen. But they were sideways. It was like it had flipped itself over. Fionna was hanging onto the fridge's door, her legs dangling beneath her whilst Cake clutched her ankles. All of the counters and cabinets were sideways, but still remained stuck to the floor. It was like a picture turned sideways._

_Fionna looked through the small window that opened into Marshall Lee's living room whilst Cake munched on some cherry sherbet. Marshall Lee sat on one of the leather couches, the television switched onto the Music Channel. This memory seemed to be relatively recent. Marshall Lee looked exactly like he did right now, wearing the same plaid flannel shirt, worn-out jeans and brownish-red sneakers that they had first seen him in._

_Fionna watched the seen in front of her in uncomfortable disgust. Marshall Lee was digging through his belly button, his face concentrated intently. He pulled out a piece of lint and flicked it across the room._

_Fionna shivered._

_"Fifi, c'mon."_

_Fionna looked down. Cake was holding the door open, more like a cellar door than a normal one. Fionna let go of the fridge's door, letting herself plummet through the other. Cake followed soon after._

* * *

><p><em>It only took a split second for the two of them to hit another matter, bursting into another memory. They groaned as they hit something hard, their bodies entwined. They were in another kitchen, Fionna decided. But this looked more like a restaurant kitchen. A little wheel in a small window held a few order notes, the letters too faded by age to read. Posters of "Employees Only", "Remember to Wash Your Hands", and "Fry or Die" were plastered to the wall. It was dark, the only light emitting from the small window. Fionna picked herself up and looked through it.<em>

_She jumped._

_Heather Adageer sat at the only table in the room, her form illuminated by one single hanging light. She was stuffing some kind of fruity pastry into her mouth like a wild beast, barely even taking the time to chew before swallowing._

_Fionna cringed. It was a pie. "Hey, girl."_

_Heather gasped and almost fell out of her chair to look at Fionna. A glob of fruit fell from her mouth._

_Fionna sighed. "Don't eat that."_

Footsteps echoed out of nowhere. Heather choked, sputtering out, "Marshall Lee!"

_Marshall Lee stood a few feet away. His hand was clutching some kind of green bottle, filled with what Fionna could guess to be water. He looked younger than he did now, about Fionna's age, if not a few months younger. Clad in a gray T-shirt, blue shorts, blue sneakers, and his hair an unruly mess, he looked as boyish as ever. He was staring at his mother with so much sorrow and betrayal that it broke Fionna's heart._

_Heather choked on her pie. "M-Marshall Lee!"_

_As Fionna and Cake dashed out of the exit, Fionna heard Marshall Lee sniffle. "Mommy...Why?"_

* * *

><p><em>Fionna was, once again, in total darkness. But she wasn't falling this time. She was walking blindly, feeling around for some kind of wall to cling to. A beam of light caught her eye, as well as Cake's. The source came from a square that was just hanging in the air. Fionna approached it, feeling no wall surrounding it. It really was just floating there. Fionna looked inside.<em>

_Wooden floors, wooden walls, odd woody structures like pillars..._

_Cake squeezed her face next to Fionna to look inside with her. "What is it? Where is it?"_

_"...Our Treehouse." Fionna took in the room once more. It was the living room, she decided. But it had no furniture of any sort. Rather, cardboard boxes were scattered about, with words such as Clothes, Pictures, and Toiletries scribbled on them in black marker. "This must be when Marshall Lee lived here."_

_Grunts of effort took them out of their searching gazes. Looking to the right as much as they could, Fionna and Cake could just make out two people. One of them being Marshall Lee, just a tad bit younger than he was now. He seemed to be trying out a new fashion style, a touch of retro and a sprinkle of hipster. He was dressed in a baggy gray shirt with elbow-long sleeves, with a slightly less baggier, pale-plum tank top over it. He was also clad in short red boots and-Fionna blushed-tight black jeans. And...jeez, his hair. It was so long and thick it fell to his shoulder blades, tied by a single red string._

_The second person Fionna did not recognize whatsoever. She was a bit shorter than Marshall Lee, with skin ever-so-slightly darker than his. Her hair, which only consisted of three long strands (one fell right down her face), was snowy white and slightly scruffy. She wore a knee-long black dress that was fitted around the chest but free around the skirt. Its hem was straight, its neck dipped down in a V-shape, and its short sleeves were ripped and upturned. A golden rope was tied around her waist. Fionna took note that she, oddly, wore no shoes._

_The two of them were carrying a small, black leather sofa that Fionna recognized was one of Marshall Lee's current one. It seemed to be very, very heavy, because their arms were trembling and their grunts were ones of effort and strain._

_"You got it?" the white-haired girl gasped out._

_"Yeah, just-WHOA!" Marshall Lee gasped as the sofa slipped from his grasp. The two teenagers-were they together?-jumped back to avoid their toes or any other limbs of being crushed by its weight._

_Marshall Lee chuckled as he and the girl collapsed onto the sofa together. "I'm so glad we're doing this, Ashley."_

_"I am, too," 'Ashley' replied. She then made an 'oh' sound and shifted to that her hands were in front of her. "Watch this, I've been practicing."_

_She twiddled her fingers together. A silvery orb of light appeared between her palms, flickering and sparkling. A small heart with an adorable face materialized, smiling up at the Vampire King. "Marshall Wee! I wuv! I wuv!"_

_Marshall Lee stared at the heart in absolute confusion. Ashley twiddled her fingers again, and the heart split open, revealing a truffle-like sweet. Marshall Lee cheered. "Cool! Chocolate!" He tossed the sweet into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before-Fionna gagged-kissing Ashley on the cheek. "You're the best, Ashley."_

_Ashley blushed with a girlish giggle._

_Cake took in the scene with absolute disgust and confusion. "Who is this gal?"_

_"Ashley, apparently," answered Fionna, just as disgusted as her feline sister._

_It eventually became too much for the two girls. They walked away from the small viewing square, walking through the darkness once more._

* * *

><p><em>They found an exit sooner than expected. They walked towards the dome-shaped exit, shielding their eyes from the bright light that emitted from it. Eventually, their gaze adjusted to it, and they took in the new memory.<em>

_Immediately, they knew they were shrunken down to size. Every single thing in the room was gargantuan. The tables, chairs, utensils, pots, pans, locked safe, and single couch towered over them, looking like they belonged to a Beanstalk giant. A mouse scurried across the floor, the size of a bear. _

_Their eyes immediately fell on Marshall Lee, who was the size of the Eiffel Tower to them. He looked like he was going through a phase of some sort. His jet-black hair stuck up on end, as if he had just pulled himself out of bed. He obviously hadn't made much of an effort of dressing himself, either. Just a pale mint fleece shirt, a pair of worn brown jeans, and violet-blue boots. He was splayed across the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He let out a sigh, flipping over to face the wall._

_Fionna sniffed the air. "This place smells good."_

_"Fifi, your thang's glowin'."_

_"My what?" Fionna followed her sister's paw to look down at her chest, catching a flicker of gold. A split second later, it appeared again. Each time her heart beat, Fionna saw a gold light shine through her shirt. A tingling feeling filled her veins. "Oh, right."_

_"We must be close to the Essence," Cake said as she turned her head this way and that, searching for a passage into the next memory. She must have found it, because she started to walk away. "Here, I think I see an exit."_

_Fionna heard thundering footsteps approach. She caught Cake by the shoulder, stopping her trek. "Hey, look. It's that Ashley girl again."_

_In their distraction, Marshall Lee had gotten up from the couch to approach his-Fionna gagged again-girlfriend. Ashley stood before him now, dressed in the exact same outfit as before. She was holding a branch in her hands, full of beautiful sakura blossoms. "I just got this new wand. Here, look at the blossoms. They're real."_

_Marshall Lee experimentally touched one of the pink flower blossoms. When it zapped him, he nodded in approval. "Cool." Marshall Lee's eyebrows furrowed. "Where'd you get the money for that thing?"_

_"Oh, I sold that bear-monkey thing that you loved so much," Ashley said as if it were nothing. "To a wizard."_

_Marshall Lee's jaw dropped. His eyes went wide, and every hair on his body went up. Staring at his horrible girlfriend in horror, he sputtered, "Y-you did what? ARE YOU INSANE?_

_**I LOVED THAT THING**__!"_

_"Duh, that's why it was worth so much. You know, for brews and stuff." Ashley held up the sakura wand, pointing a finger at the healthiest bloom. A little spirit popped out, saying 'duh' over and over._

_"THAT IS IT, ASHLEY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Marshall Lee cried. Fionna jumped when she saw angry tears pouring down his flushed cheeks. Marshall Lee quickly brushed them away, sputtering, "You're a psycho brat that ruined my life!"_

_Ashley frowned. Obviously, she wasn't expecting a break-up. "B-but only most of it-"_

_"IT'S OVER, YOU BRAT!" Marshall Lee shrieked at her, his eyes going bright red and his fangs growing long._

_Marshall Lee turned on his heel and stomped out of the room, making Fionna and Cake bounce up and down. As Fionna watched the stricken Ashley, Cake walked away unnoticed. "Hey, Fifi! Over here!" Fionna turned around and saw Cake standing in front of a perfectly shaped hole in the ground. A shimmering silver light shined out of it, making Cake's body seem unearthly. "There's a memory hole! It's banaynays down there!" Cake hopped down the hole with a swan-dive._

_Fionna glanced at Ashley one last time before following her._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fionna and Cake floated deep through the depths of Marshall Lee's mind. As light became dark and dark became light, Fionna saw the memories around them. Twisting and curling, spreading like mental weeds. The weeds bloomed, showing images of Marshall Lee's memories, still moving and talking.<strong>_

_**Fionna and Cake landed on one of the thicker vines. Fionna couldn't even make out Cake, let alone herself, anymore. They were nothing but silhouettes of black, shapes cut out from paper. "This must be the core..." Fionna said, her voice echoing out into the mental void.**_

_**"All of these blooms must be Marshall Lee's memories," Cake agreed, her voice echoing as well.**_

_**"How do we know which one to grab?"**_

_**"Play Close and Closer with your heart."**_

**_Fionna looked down at the place on her chest where her heart would be. It still flashed, each beat bringing a flash of pink color on her snowy form. Fionna moved to the left._**

_**"Not close at all," Cake instructed.**_

_**Fionna jumped onto a higher vine. Her heart's shine went rosy-red.**_

_**"Closer."**_

_**Fionna climbed up the main vine. Her heart went cerise.**_

_**"Closeeeer."**_

_**Fionna hopped up three more branches. Her heart was bright red by now, each beat sending fire pumping through her body.**_

_**"Really, really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaally close!" Cake pointed above. A single bloom of a memory hovered above, no vines at all attached. "That must be the one!"**_

_**Fionna reached for the memory. Her skin bubbled, her veins exploded, her brain was collapsing in on itself.**_

_**She just touched the memory when her heart burst into a million shards.**_

* * *

><p>Fionna's eyes snapped open.<p>

She knew she was back in reality, though she wasn't sure how. She was back in Marshall Lee's living room, his _real _living room. Marshall Lee still laid unconscious on the floor, not having moved an inch. Beside her, Cake shuffled awake. Wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth, Fionna sat up with a groan, helping Cake up. She looked over at the Scrap Witch, who was carrying some kind of orb in her hands. The orb was nestled inside a snowy white blossom, glimmering like morning dew. Inside, a black silhouette of...well, Fionna couldn't make out what it was, but she knew it was the memory the Scrap Witch wanted.

Speaking of the Scrap Witch...

Wait, she had LEGS?

"You have legs!" Fionna exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the sorceress. True enough, the Scrap Witch was standing a head taller than Fionna, long, sinewy legs poking out of her tattered dress.

"Duh, I have legs," the Scrap Witch scoffed.

Fionna couldn't help but note that the Scrap Witch's tone was oddly familiar.

"Why did you lie to us?" demanded Fionna, steadily growing annoyed and angry.

"That's not important. What _is _important is that Marshall Lee is awake." The Scrap Witch pointed down at the fallen vampire king. A beam of shimmering red light exploded from her fingertip, encircling Marshall Lee in a tight embrace before disappearing.

Marshall Lee groaned, propping himself up on his elbow and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Fionna and Cake immediately dashed over to him. "Marshie! Marshie! Marshie!" They knelt down next to him, running their fingers through his jet-black locks.

Marshall Lee slapped their hands away. "Quit petting me!"

"You had a magic catastrophe," Fionna explained to him as he yawned loudly. She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder without looking. "We got help from your witchy friend."

Marshall Lee gave her a confused smirk. "That's Ashley."

Fionna and Cake jumped, spinning around in disbelief. Sure enough, Ashley stood there, having not aged a single day. The same three strands of white hair, bluish skin, and choppy black dress. She gave the girls a teasing wave. _**"ASHLEY?!"**_

"She's not my friend, she's my _girl_friend," Marshall Lee floated into the air, making the two girls part from each other.

As he floated away to join his 'girlfriend' the two girls could only cry, "WHAT?"

"That's right, baby," Ashley smirked at Marshall Lee flirtatiously. Fionna noticed that she was hiding one hand behind her back now. "I just came to see if you wanted to hang at my place."

"Oh, you're an angel," Marshall Lee sighed and leaned forward to peck Ashley on the cheek.

Fionna and Cake gawked. "WHAAAAT?"

"Jealous?" teased Marshall Lee, his black eyebrows waggling. He turned back to Ashley, saying, "Give me a minute to get ready?"

"More like an hour," Ashley joked.

Marshall Lee laughed out loud, floating away. Just as he reached the door, he sighed, "Ashley, you're the best" and drifted away to get ready.

Fionna turned to Ashley in unending shock. "Whaaaaat?"

"Don't you idiots get it?" Ashley chuckled to herself, twirling a finger next to her temple. "I outsmarted y'all. That wasn't the memory of the Slumber Spell you brought me. That was the memory of our break-up!" Ashley held up the blossom-memory in her hands. Inside was a picture of an enraged Marshall Lee, screaming _"IT'S OVER, YOU BRAT!" _Ashley squeezed her fingers around the memory, and it disappeared in a smoky pop. "There we go!"

Cake groaned, slapping her forehead. "You can't be fo real!"

Fionna continued to gawk. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

"You know it," Ashley smirked at them as Marshall Lee floated back into the room, his clothes pressed and his hair combed. Marshall Lee wrapped his arms around Ashley's waist, smiling.

"No, Marshall Lee-!" Fionna exclaimed.

"Ashlemus," Ashley hissed, waving a hand into the air around her. With a swirl of their own colors, Marshall Lee and Ashley blasted through the ceiling like ghosts. Fionna and Cake ran outside immediately, trying to stop them while they still could. But all that remained of the ill couple were remaining wisps of hues in the air.

"She took him!" exclaimed the enraged human girl. With a shriek of anger, Fionna sent her fist into the wall of the house, ignoring the blazing pain in her fists that resulted from it.

"Don't fret, child!" Cake told her, her ears already picking up to the air. "I gots their Sound!" The last, tiny tendrils of Marshall Lee and Ashley drifted into Cake's ear, and the feline heard their chuckles of delight. "Follow me!"

* * *

><p>A half-hour later saw the two girls hiding in the bushes surrounding Ashley's house.<p>

The house itself was an arranged wreck, as well as its surroundings. The building was slanted heavily to the left, as if the Big Bad Wolf had failed to blow it down. The roof was so badly kept and attended to that moss and flowers had bloomed from the shingles, covering ever inch in a thick garden with a long metal pipe poking out for the chimney. On top of the 'garden' was a small trailer, actually pretty well-kept despite expectations, with three large stepping stones leading up to it. On top of the trailer was a bug-styled car, a bright strawberry red but rusted from many years of heavy rains and snows. A picket fence partly surrounded the area, half-colored white as if someone had tried to paint it but gave up almost immediately. Odd machines lay scattered around, such as a freezer next to the trailer and a clothes dryer pressed to the left outside wall. The right corner of the house had a string attached to it, with forgotten garments clothes-pinned to it. A metal wash tub lay on its side, with mosquito-infested water still inside. Small logs of wood were scattered around the grass, particularly around a tree stump with an axe embedded inside. A red sofa faced the woods, which actually didn't seem like a bad idea for star-gazing. A poorly-made outhouse was to the left side of the area, made from rusty metal plates and pipes. Fionna and Cake didn't even want to THINK of the horrors inside.

"I can hear them inside," Cake proclaimed. She wished that Fionna could hear the laughs and giggles coming from inside. It was disgusting her. "Both of 'em."

Fionna hummed. "Alright." She pointed over to a stray hammer laying in the grass. "You go get that hammer and hit it against the outhouse. Ashley will come out to see what's up, and I'll go inside to get Marshall Lee."

Cake nodded in approval. "Roger."

"No, we're going to go get Marshall Lee."

Cake nodded slower. "Roger."

_"No. MARSHALL LEE."_

"Forget it," Cake sighed before slinking out of the bushes.

Cake approached the hammer with silent movement and quiet breaths. She lay hunched forward, trying her best to not let Ashley see her. When she finally came to the hammer, she grabbed it and stealthily approached the outhouse.

Then, she got busy wrecking. She sent the head of the hammer into the side of the small shack with a loud clank of sound. Immediately, two plates of metal dropped to the ground. Two more hits and the roof caved in and every metal plate dropped off. Just as Cake was going to destroy the frame, a tiny little troll ran from one of the demolished corners.

She looked up at Cake with terrified eyes. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS MY HOUSE!"

Cake lowered the hammer in shock. "Wha-?"

"NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!" shrieked the Troll.

"No, no, no! I wasn't gonna-"

The Tiny Troll began to screech in fear. She flailed her tiny arms about, tears pouring down her face in waterfalls. "HELP! HELP ME, SOMEBODY!"

"What's all this racket about?"

When the front door of the house busted open, Cake's tail went on end. Ashley stood there, her form illuminated from the light coming from inside her home. She gave Cake an acid glare. "Hey! You!"

Cake didn't hesitate. She took off for the woods, leaving the Tiny Troll shrieking behind her. She heard Ashley running after her, calling, "Get back here!"

* * *

><p>Marshall Lee watched Ashley chase the intruder through the window with worry. When they had heard himher making all that noise outside, he had offered to check it out, only for Ashley to (oddly) do it. He knew Ashley could handle herself, though. If that intruder caused any trouble, she could simply blast them away with some magic.

"Ah!"

Marshall Lee whipped around just as something popped out of the fireplace. Ashy clouds of soot bloomed everywhere, scattering all around Ashley's floors. When the dust cleared, he saw Fionna laying on her stomach, coughing and sputtering out blackened ash. "Fionna?" Marshall Lee knelt down next to the human teenager. "Fionna! You can't be here. Ashley doesn't like it when I bring girly friends over."

Fionna nodded a fake nod. "Yeah, alright. I'll go." Fionna reached into her pocket, taking out a small blue bag tied by a string. "I need to show you something first, though." She reached into the bag and took out a handful of silver powder.

Just as Marshall Lee leaned in for closer inspection, Fionna blew the power right into his face.

All Marshall Lee remembered before passing out was the staggering sweet smell of the powder and the feeling of stunning fatigue.

* * *

><p><em>Marshall Lee awoke sputtering and coughing, the silver powder puffing out of his mouth and nostrils. Waving the stuff away from his face, he tried to look around him, only to see darkness for miles around. Then, there came light.<em>

_He was in a hallway of some sort. It curved around in a C-shape, with multiple mahogany doors leading into unknown rooms. The floor was made of a green carpet and the walls were made out of planks of oak. Photographs were hung inside picture frames, showing two smiling cats, a human baby, and a little kitten. He must have been enlarged, because he had to stay crouched in order to not hit his head on the ceiling. "Fionna?"_

_One of the doors was open, and Marshall Lee looked inside._

_It was some sort of closet, or a dress-up room. To the right was a long rack of clothes, from normal everyday garments to fancier wear and dress-up costumes. To the left was a three-panel mirror that allowed one to see their front and sides from standing on a small platform. Shoes and hats lay scattered around the orange carpeted floor. A small human toddler stood in front of the mirror, dressed as a heroine of a sort. She had on colorful gardening gloves, a baggy gray t-shirt and a long red cape, as well as a woden sword in her chubby left hand._

_When Marshall Lee saw the bluish-green eyes, rough blonde hair, and, most importantly, the bunny-eared hat, he had to choke back an explosion of laughter. The toddler was Fionna._

"I'm a buff baby that can dance like a lady,

I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a my heinie!

I'm a tough tootin' baby, I can punch all your buns!

Punch all your buns, I can punch all your buns!

If you're an evil wizard, I will punch you for fun!"

_Only when Fionna finished her song and dance did Marshall Lee let out his amusement. He fell on his back, guffawing so loudly and bemusedly that it hurt his sides and shoulders, and he struggled to breath._

_"Hey, there you are."_

_Fionna chose this moment to appear from behind a curved corner, smiling politely at her vampiric friend. She glanced into the cracked door, and, upon seeing her still-dancing toddler self, blushed scarlet and closed the door shut, hoping to Glob Marshall Lee hadn't seen._

_"What the ding-dong is this place?" Marshall Lee asked, his lips still bubbling with giggles._

_"This used to be my house. That powder I blew at cha got you into my memories. Cake and I were in yours before, but Ashley made us take your memory of breaking up with her."_

_Marshall Lee blinked at the possibly toasted human girl._

_"It's alright, though. Because I saw the missing memory." Fionna took out a fully-blossomed memory from her backpack, the image too blurred to see. "Now I have a memory of your memory in my memory."_

**(A/N: YO DAWG!)**

_"See?" Fionna held out the memory for the king to see._

_Marshall Lee looked inside. The white blob inside the orb began to shift, forming a picture of Ashley. She was smiling, a small branch of sakura blossoms in her hand. __**"Oh, I sold that bear-monkey thing that you loved so much. To a wizard."**_

_The image suddenly turned into his own self, teeth bared in a snarl and eyes almost in flames with fury. "__**IT'S OVER, YOU BRAT!"**_

_Marshall Lee stared at the memory in absolute uncertainty for a long moment._

_With a sigh, he looked up at Fionna. "I wanna wake up now."_

* * *

><p>A few minutes later saw the teenage human girl and the ancient vampire king walking out of Ashley's house. Marshall Lee had his hands in his pockets, kicking at the pebbles in the grass. Fionna turned to him with sincere concern. "You OK?"<p>

"Yeah, I'll be cool," Marshall Lee assured her. Then, looking up at her with his deep onyx eyes, he started, "Listen, Fionna-"

"Hey, Marsh-Marsh."

Ashley suddenly appeared out from the woods, smiling her usual bratty smile. When her milky eyes fell on Fionna, she sneered. "What's with the girl? C'mon, I said don't bring any girls." With a huff, Ashley added, "I'm hungry. Be a doll and go inside and order some pizza."

Marshall Lee snarled at her.

"I want double cheese and three meats."

Marshall Lee snarled louder.

"And olives. A LOT of olives."

Marshall Lee's hand shot out to one of the supporters of the porch roof. He snapped it off like a toothpick, and a dangerous crackling sound surrounded the three. With a thunder of sound, the entire left half of the house smashed down right on top of the white-haired 'witch.' Ashley screamed, a more of a "I BROKE A NAIL!" scream than a "I'M BEING CRUSHED BY MY HOUSE!" scream. Mossy shingles hat cut her skin, splinters of wood embedded into her flesh. Her torso down was hidden under the rubble and debris. Marshall Lee stalked over and snatched a wooden plank that was supporting a slanted window. The window crashed down, showering Ashley in glass shards that cut her face and eyes. "My eyes! I can't see!"

Fionna chuckled, wanting to join in on the fun. So, she kicked at the pile of rubble, causing it to shift and crush Ashley even more. The poor but hated witch groaned in pain.

Cake finished it off by bringing her gargantuan paw down on Ashley.

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

Marshall Lee's mother appears eating his pie, an event that caused the song Marshall Lee sang in "It Came from the Twilosphere."

Marshall Lee is now confirmed to have lived in the Treehouse before.

STORYLINE ANALYSIS

When Fionna and Cake enter the first memory, the burning ruins of the city around Marshall Lee are evidence that the Fungi War occurred relatively recently or was going on at that time.


	55. Hitcapades

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Seether-A hitwoman mistakingly hired by the Ice Queen to hit Fionna and Cake. She never speaks. She is dedicated to all of her assignments and won't focus on anything else until they are done. She can levitate, use fire at her will, and turn into a cloud of black smoke instantly. She is very tall, with chestnut skin and bright red eyes that can hold tiny flames. She is covered in many bandages and cloths as clothes, especially around her chest and hips. She also wears bandages around her face (only her eyes are visible) like a Keffiyeh. There are bandages around her wrists, ankles, left knee and right thigh. It is unknown whether these are just for show or if they're protecting wounds.

**HITCAPADES**

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake prance through the grass happily, unaware that they are behind watched from afar._

The sun rose over the horizon of the Breakfast Kingdom. The kingdom was situated at the top of a mountainous hill, so that the sun always shone brightest around it. The castle consisted of a humongous China tea pot sitting on top of a China saucer which sat on top of gargantuan slices of toast that stand on a soft foundation of scrambled eggs. The tea pot spewed out steaming tea to make a moat. The bridges across the moat were made of crispy bacon, as well as the pillars that supported the toast slices.

Inside the highest room in the castle, the sunlight shone through the window, beaming down on a large China plate that was on top of a wooden tray. The china plate held three fluffy pancakes stacked atop one another, drowned in syrup with a glob of melting butter on top. Two side-plates held juicy orange slices and sweet blueberry muffins. A glass of milk stood at the corner of the tray, cold and ready to drink.

The Breakfast Prince stuck his fork into a pancake, tearing off a piece and sticking it in his mouth. His hair was made of soft egg white, his skin made of harder egg yolk. His crown was made of crispy bacon piled atop his head. His shirt consists of a buttered-toast front and sleeves made of molded bacon. His pants were made of soft pancake slathered in syrup and butter, and his shoes were made of cracked eggshells.

His little brother, the Toast Prince, sat beside him. He was, as his name said, a slice of toasted bread with a red shirt and red pants. He has a small waffle crown on his forehead, as well as a fried egg at the side of his head.

The two royals were unaware of the icy royal watching them through their window. The Ice Queen giggled to herself as she stared at the Breakfast Prince, a pink blush creeping into her blue skin. "Good morning, Breakfast Prince," she whispered to herself.

With a grunt of effort, the Ice Queen hauled herself through the window. She lost her footing and ended up crashing to the floor, but so quietly that neither prince heard her. Her belly pressed against the sea green tiles of the bedroom, she crept closer to the bed. Reaching into the folds of her dress, she took out the small container of blueberries, now crouching next to the bed. Finally, she stood up, making her appearance clear, pouring the blueberries onto Breakfast Prince's pancakes.

The Breakfast Prince's eyes opened, and he nearly choked on his food when he saw the Ice Queen. Swallowing, his soft face contorted in anger. "Ice Queen! You're ruining my pancakes!"

"No, no, no, my dear!" Ice Queen assured him, still dumping blueberries onto the flat cakes, a few of the tiny fruits spilling onto the chicken-feather bedspread. "I'm enhancing the flavor of the pancakes by adding some blueberries!" She snatched the fork from the prince's hand, making him jump. She tore off a chunk of the pancakes, making sure to get a lot of blueberries, and held it up. "C'mon, you'll like it!"

Breakfast Prince huffed, turning his face away from the fork. As the Ice Queen urged it closer, he said, "Bro, hand me the phone."

The smaller prince nodded, reaching over to grab the phone made out of waffles and bacon. He dialed the number he already knew his brother wanted and handed him the handset when it started to ring. The phone picked up just as the Breakfast Prince accepted it. Smiling, he said, "Hey, Fionna?" There was a small pause, then the prince chuckled. "Yeah, it's me." He frowned then, adding. "I've got another Ice Queen situation over here and-" The prince stopped short-Ice Queen guessed that he was cut off-and smiled. "Really? Yeah, that'd be great! Thanks a lot!"

The Prince handed the handset back to his brother, who hung it back in the mechanism with a _click. _No less than five seconds later, the chicken coop door of the bedroom burst open with a great force.

"Ice Queen!"

Ice Queen rolled her eyes as she begrudgingly turned to the door. Sure enough, the infamous teenage heroine and her older feline sister were glaring at her with their hands on their hips. Fionna stepped forward. "How many times have we warned you about using Love Bombs?"

"Seventeen," Ice Queen answered with a sigh. Then, smirking victoriously, she held up the now-empty, purple-stained container. "That's why I'm using blueberries." Ice Queen jabbed her hands in the direction of the Prince's pancakes. "These are blueberries." Her face splitting into a smile, her arms spread out extravagantly. "Love blueberries!"

Fionna and Cake crossed their arms as their glares on the icy royal intensified.

Ice Queen frowned, lowering her arms. "What?"

Fionna and Cake's glares intensified more.

"Are you to so stupid you don't know the difference between bombs and blueberries?!" the Ice Queen's arms shot up in anger, accidentally knocking over Toast Prince's glass of milk. The small royal frowned as the milk soaked into his doughy body.

"Girl, who gives a flyin' flip if they're blueberries?" scoffed Cake. She jabbed a finger at the blue-skinned woman. "You stink anyways."

Fionna laughed out loud. Still chuckling, she added, "Yeah, you stink so much I'm gonna ground you for a month!"

The Ice Queen's eyebrows quirked, her head tilting to the side confusedly. "What does that mean?"

"It means that we're gonna kick your heinie if we see you outside of your castle!" explained Cake. The feline punched her left paw into her other for emphasis.

The Ice Queen's face contorted into a snarl. Standing up from her crouch, she pointed a sparking finger at the two girls. "I'LL KICK _YOUR_ HEINIE!"

Fionna frowned angrily. She held up her index finger and her middle finger. "You wanna go for _two_ months?!"

"Wh-?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Ice Queen's arms flapped around so hard she looked like a deranged pigeon. "I'M A GROWN WOMAN!"

Fionna smirked. "Oh,_ really_? YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR TWO MONTHS!"

Cake cheered joyously, giving her sister a happy high-five.

"_YOU'RE _GROUNDED FOR TWO MONTHS!" Ice Queen countered. Beside her, Breakfast Prince rolled his eyes at her idiotic behavior. His brother did so as well as he continued brushing milk from his body.

_"Three _months_."_

"Oooooooooh!" Cake chorused, her paws cupping her mouth.

"WHY?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" whined the Ice Queen. An irritated cloud was forming over her head, already dropping frozen water drops to the floor.

_"Four. Months."_

The Ice Queen gawked at Fionna in disbelief for a long moment. She then let out a shriek of annoyance, pulling her snowy hair to the point of breaking off. Running her hands down her face, she groaned. "Fine! But I'm only doing it for a month!"

_"That _just got you grounded for four months." scolded Fionna.

Cake did a little victory dance. "Oh daaaaang! Four moooonths!"

Ice Queen was silent for a long moment as she stared at the heroines. Then, she turned to the Breakfast Prince. Couldn't these idiots see how much they were embarrassing her in front of him right now? Honestly!

Ice Queen sighed, tucking her container back into the folds of her dress. She walked over to the doorway, pausing to look over her shoulder.

Cake was holding up both of her paws, holding up two digits each.

Ice Queen scoffed, "What's with the peace signs?"

Cake frowned, looking at her paws. "Oh, no, I was just showing you how many mouths you got left." Smiling again, she held her paws back up.

"Get outta here, bobble-head!" taunted Fionna.

Ice Queen hissed in annoyance as she charged out of the door, her head bobbing madly as she did so.

Fionna and Cake howled in laughter.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen flew to her castle in such anger that vicious hail trailed behind her in storms. Even the familiar icy air of her kingdom and the sharp snowflakes that pierced her cheeks didn't calm her down, because she knew she'd be here for the next FOUR MONTHS. In her fury, she blasted through her window so fast she landed flat on her stomach, sliding along the ice of her floor. She immediately picked herself up and started pacing in circles, waving her arms as she spoke to no one.<p>

"This is so unfair!" she shrieked. "They're the ones who need to be grounded! NOT ME!" She clenched her wrinkled fists together, trembling in fury. "I'M SO FURIOUS! I-I COULD JUST HIT THEM!" She swung her fist through the air. Then, when realization hit her, her fists dropped to her side in defeat. "But I can't leave the castle. But..." The aged witch's fingers snapped with an idea. "I could get someone else to!"

Ice Queen drifted to her sleet desk, flipping the screen of her OrangeTop open so that the silver silhouette of the fruit appeared. When it vanished, she opened a Vimvixen window, went to Giggle, and searched 'Hitwoman.'

Immediately, an answer popped up on the screen.

**Seether**

_Hitwoman-Hits people for you._

_**Personal Description**_

_Fast, silent, ruthless_

Beside the description was a face almost entirely concealed by a Keffiyeh. All the Ice Queen could see was fiery red eyes staring right at her.

"She's perfect!" squeed the Ice Queen. Immediately, she opened a Letter Document and began typing, speaking aloud.

_Dear Miss Seether,_

_I would like you to hit two people._

_Cool name!  
>3,<em>

_The Ice Queen_

She then hit 'SEND.'

"Good." Ice Queen stomach rumbled loudly, and she pushed her seat back to stand. "Alright, alright. Paninis it-AHHH!"

Seether was faster than she thought.

She was standing three feet away!

She was also a lot taller than she thought. Seether was twice as tall as the Ice Queen, casting the witch in her shadow. Just like the picture, Seether's face was concealed in a Keffiyeh, with only the angry red eyes showing. Her skin was a dark chestnut color and had the texture of coal. She wore no garments, but her chest and hips were concealed by long pieces of tattered cloth tied together by tight bandages. Her wrists and ankles were also wrapped in bandages, as well as her right thigh.

"Whoa..." Ice Queen gasped once she caught her breath. With a smile, she explained, "You're really fast."

"..."

"And quiet."

"..."

"And really good at dramatic silence. I like it."

"Alright!" Ice Queen approached her hired hitwoman, dusting off her hands and setting them on her hips. "How do we do this? Do we shake hands or-"

Ice Queen screamed as Seether's hand exploded into a ball of blazing fire. She moved her hand, and just as Ice Queen thought Seether was about to attack her, the flames vanished. In their place was a roll of parchment, and beside it, a jet black quill. Ice Queen smiled. "Nice. Contract." She read the black scrawl aloud:

_Who shall I hit?_

Ice Queen took the black quill and scribbled beneath the question. "Fionna...and...Cake."

The parchment and quill vanished in blooms of smoke, and, just a moment later, so did Seether. Ice Queen gawked at the last tendrils of smoke before bursting into cheering laughter. She danced over to her snowy telescope, already set on Fionna and Cake's Treehouse.

Through the window, Fionna and Cake were eating dinner-some sort of Tuscan chicken stew-laughing joyfully as usual. But she couldn't see Seether. She moved her telescope left and right and up and down until a flicker of movement made her stop. Seether was down on the ground, her back pressed against the bark of the massive tree and her head turned in the direction of the window. "There she is!" Ice Queen giggled to herself. Then, looking back through the telescope, she frowned. "Wha-?!"

Seether was now kneeling down to the bulky roots of the tree, a flickering flame cradled in her fingers. "What is she-?" The flame, probably hexed, touched the roots. Immediately, a massive blaze erupted on the bark, engulfing and charring the wood. Seether disappeared in smoke as the blaze began to spread.

"WHY IS SHE LIGHTING UP THE TREEHOUSE?!" Ice Queen cried, stumbling back from the telescope in shock. Her arms flapped about in her emotions. "I HIRED A HITWOMAN, NOT A FIREWOMAN!"

Ice Queen shrieked in annoyance before shooting through the window, into the icy air of the outside.

* * *

><p>After they finished their Tuscan chicken stew, Fionna and Cake decided to do a little treat for themselves. Ice cream it was. Gallons of sugary ice cream were piled on top of the table, already melting onto the wood in bright colors. Bowls and bottles of cherries, chocolate sauce, whipped creams, fruit sauces, and countless sprinkles were scattered around. Fionna and Cake had huge bowls set in front of them, their hands reaching out to scoop more of the cold dessert into them.<p>

They were oblivious to the flames crawling up their window.

"Hey, Fifi, see my masterpiece comin' together?" Cake waved her paws at her self-made dessert. She had arranged her ice cream into a mountain of sugary goodness. Eight scoops of teaberry ice cream, four scoops of banana ice cream, five scoops of cherry ice cream, five scoops of mint ice cream, three scoops of green tea ice cream, three scoops of vanilla and a single scoop of blueberry ice cream were stacked on top of each other in perfect balance. Two peeled bananas were stuck to the sides, and a plump cherry topped a mountain of whipped cream.

"Cupcake, I need help," sighed Fionna. Her ice cream was a mess. A pile of cake batter ice cream, dill pickle ice cream, and strawberry cheesecake ice cream supported by two mashed-up bananas. Strawberry sauce was splattered on it, mixing in with the ice cream that was already melting in the bowl.

"What's wrong?" Cake asked as she speckled some rainbow sprinkles onto her 'masterpiece.'

"Mine's whack," growled Fionna. A banana fell once more, and her strawberry-stained fingers set it up once more.

"You got too many flavors clashin'," Cake instructed, and pushed the dark pink tub towards her sister. "Get some teaberry to even the balance."

Fionna shrugged as she scooped some of the frozen cream from the tub and carefully dropped it into her bowl. As she scooped some more in, she asked, "Where do we get all of this ice cream?"

"Ice Cream Woman," Cake responded. She was barely even paying any attention to her sister. She was carefully spreading some nuts onto her work of art.

"Do you think it hurts Ice Cream Woman when we eat her ice cream?" wondered Fionna.

"I dunno. I can't read her mind." Cake reached for her silver ice-cream spoon, digging it into her creation and moving it towards her mouth-

Ice Queen exploded through the window, destroying the flames that had engulfed the girls' home. The two girls flew off of their seats, crashing to the floor. For good measure, Ice Queen spat out mountains of ice and snow all around her, turning the Treehouse into a snowy wonderland.

Cake shrieked. Her ice cream masterpiece had knocked over in the blow, splattering onto the floor in a frozen mess. Her fur was sticky with sprinkles and nuts glued together with whipped cream.

Ice Queen stared at the hysterical feline in confusion for a long moment before she shook it off and began, "Listen guys, I-"

"I told you, you're _grounded!" _interrupted Fionna. The human girl waved her fists angrily. "You want _another _month? ANOTHER MONTH OF GROUNDING?"

Ice Queen flinched at the idea of another month of humiliation. She waved her hands in her own defense. "No, I don't! I just smelled smoke coming from your house."

"It's wasteeeeed!" Cake bawled over the corpse of her artwork.

"Oh, perfect!" Fionna cried in a fit of anger, her fists clenched white. "Look what you did to my sis! SO HELP ME, ICE QUEEN!"

"Alright, alright!" Ice Queen held up her wrinkled blue hands in defense before setting them on her hips. "Ghal..." With nothing else to do, she flew out of the broken window in a whirl of snow.

Fionna scoffed in annoyance before walking over to her sniffling sister. She knelt down next to the forlorn feline, a look of apology on her face. "Don't worry, sis. We'll make another."

Cake sniffled once more.

* * *

><p>"Jeez, this Seether gal has got some weird ideas about hitting!" Ice Queen contemplated as she soared through the night sky once again. She made it to her castle a few seconds later, and, for once, landed on her feet when she flew through the window. Seether was already there, staring down at her from her great height.<p>

"There you are!" sighed the Ice Queen. Seether, in answer, held out a page of parchment in her direction. "What? I already signed that." Ice Queen swatted the parchment away and punched her left fist into her right palm. "I thought I told you to _hit _them. Not burn them alive, ya idiot. GHAL!" Ice Queen span around to face the open window in her annoyance. "It's almost like you wanna _kill _them. Luckily, I stopped the fire."

She didn't see Seether's fiery red eyes widen.

"Do you know what happens when you're set of fire?" Ice Queen asked. "Your tongue melts! Ugh..." Ice Queen turned to face her hired hitwoman, but she had vanished. "Oh dirt..."

* * *

><p>Back in the Treehouse, Fionna and Cake had retired for the night. Fionna, as usual, was curled up inside her animal-skin sleeping bag, dreaming once again about taking out an army of goblins. Her legs kicked in her sleep. Cake was fitted inside her drawer, cocooned in blankets, murmuring, "Mo-Chro, don't eat her..." Other than that, the Treehouse was entirely silent.<p>

Seether stood between the two girls, angry with her failure at completing her assignment. No matter. This would be easy.

Seether's body dispersed into thick black smoke that fell to the floor like fog. The smoke crept across the floorboards towards the sleeping girls soon to fall victim to the hitwoman's tricks. Unbeknownst to their soon demise, the two girls inhaled the thick black smoke that began to char their lungs.

The window suddenly burst open, glass shards flying everywhere. Ice Queen swooped inside in a whirlwind of icy snow. The blast made the deadly smoke disperse immediately, even the smoke that the girls had breathed it. "BLOOOOOW!" cried the Ice Queen. "BLO-OOOO-OW!"

When the job was done, Ice Queen landed on her feet to inspect her work. No Seether-smoke in sight.

"Ice Cream Woman, I'm sorry..."

Ice Queen rose an eyebrow at Cake, who seemed to be having a bad dream. "I'm sorry, Ice Cream Woman..."

_"Fionnaaaah, Caaaake..." _Ice Queen cooed as she crept back to the window. _"I am juuuuuhst a dreeeeeam. I was never heeeeere."_

And then she flew back into the night.

* * *

><p>"Alright, little Missy," Ice Queen scolded as she flew back into her castle. Just as she had expected, Seether was already there, awaiting her with silence. "My patience is wearin' thin. How clear can I possibly be? I want you to HIT them. Like a slap to the face or something!" Ice Queen patted Seether's cheek for example. Seether glared at her in answer. "Are you even listening?"<p>

Ice Queen's face turned into an understanding glare. "I get it now." Ice Queen reached into her unruly nest of white hair. A moment later, she pulled out a small hoggy bank, clinking with coins muffled by bills. "I'll bump up the moolah if you _don't _kill Fionna and Cake."

Ice Queen screamed as the hoggy bank suddenly exploded into flames. Scalding coins and blazing dollar bills fell to the icy floor with chunks of scorched porcelain. When the flames disappeared, Seether's eyes were glaring at her in annoyance. Little flames had appeared in them.

Ice Queen chuckled nervously. "Tryin' to hustle me, eh?"

Seether's skin suddenly began to emit tendrils of angry smoke.

"Alright, I'll play..." Ice Queen cleared her throat, a nervous sweat dripping down her wrinkles skin. "How about this beauty?"

Ice Queen reached into her hair once more and pulled out a robotic model of a doe on a circle of wood. She pressed the button, and the doe began to sway and sing.

_Don't let me die die die _

_Don't let me die die die_

"NOOOO!" Ice Queen shrieked when the model burst into angry flames. Its fur charred, its wax melted, and its glass eyes hit the floor like marbles. With a gulp, she reached back into her locks and pulled out a bulky pair of goggles. "How 'bout these? X-ray glasses. For when you have da-AAAAAHHHH!"

Ice Queens shrieked as the glasses were burned right from her eyes. A few feet away, Gunta and Gusto exchanged confused looks of worry.

"At least renegotiate your target," Ice Queen said as she dug back into her hair. "You can destroy my least favorite princes." She pulled out a photograph of a familiar lumpy royal. "Lumpy Space Prince?" Ice Queen flinched when the photograph burned in an instant. She pulled out another photograph, this time of a spiritual highness. "Ghost Prince? I can't even hold 'im with ma love mitts." Charred and burned. The already-present sweat on the Ice Queen's wrinkled skin began to increase, turning into tiny waterfalls pouring from her pores. She had to think, fast.

"OUCH!" Ice Queen grabbed her shoulder. For good measure, her face contorted in fake pain. "BLASTED ARTHRITIS! _AUGH!" _She grabbed her elbow. She then began to limp past Seether, her arm hanging limp. "I'll be right back. Gotta go get some Aybencol."

When Ice Queen reached the entrance to the hallway, she slapped her back to the icy wall. The sweating decreased tremendously, but the hammering of her heart did not lessen by a smidget.

"I gotta get rid of her," she whispered to herself. "But how?" How do you get rid of a hitwoman? An insane, fiery, murderous hitwoman?

Ice Queen gasped. "Of couse!"

A hitwoman HITWOMAN!

She reached into her white nest for the final time to pull out her OrangeTop. A Vimvixen page of Giggle immediately appeared and she didn't hesitate a second with her search.

H_I_T_W_O_M_A_N_

H_I_T_W_O_M_A_N_

"Time to hit the hitwoman," Ice Queen muttered as she hit the search button.

A result came up in no time.

**Smashtronaut**

_Hitwoman Hitwoman-#1 Solution for all Hitwoman problems_

_$999.95_

_PLACE ORDER_

Ice Queen read the page aloud. Her eyes bulged from her skull at the price. "Nine hundred ninety-nine ninety-five? That's outrageous!" She hit the PLACE ORDER button begrudgingly. As the page loaded, she muttered, "This gal better mop my floors and do my dishes...And make me breakfast for that kinda scratch."

The page loaded, showing three words:

_ENTER TARGET NAME_

In the space below, Ice Queen typed,

_S_E_E_T_H_E_R__

_**TARGET ACQUIRED_**_

Ice Queen jumped three feet in the air when a massive explosion burst through her living room. Chunks of ice and snow blasted through the entrance to her left, mixed in with sleet and smoke. She cautiously peeked around the corner to see the cause.

Smashtronaut, just like Seether, had appeared much faster than expected. She new stood amongst the rubble of her living room. She was tall, about as tall as Seether, covered in a futuristic power suit. The suit had Persian-rose arms with partly-blue shoulder-pads loaded with pistols. Her hands were covered in lime gauntlets. A lime and champagne cannon replaced her right hand. Thigh-high boots were colored lime and harlequin, with blue at the kneecaps. Her legs were the same Persian-rose as her arms and attached to her torso at the hips. Her abdomen was champagne-colored, with a harlequin girdle designed with two thin stripes of blue. The left side of her chest (also colored champagne) held some sort of emblem consisting of two swirls of green. A pure white helmet hid her entire face, with two concentric yellow diamonds at the center.

Smashtronaut's cannon began firing flaming bullets in a machine-gun manner. Her other hand went up in a bright light, blazing dangerously. She swung that arm back and forth, scorching the floors and walls.

"Awesome," Ice Queen giggled with glee.

Seether, however, was more than unimpressed. She didn't have to dodge the blast and bullets aimed at her. They zoomed right by her body, leaving her unharmed. Annoyed, she crouched down with her arm going up in flames. She charged at Smashtronaut and slashed her right across the chest.

Smashtronaut exploded instantly.

The robot went up into sparks and smoke. Gears and gadgets flew like projectiles, embedding into the ice of the room. Something grayish-green leaped from the wreckage and landed on the new balcony outside.

Ice Queen gawked in her appall. Smashtronaut was actually a troll, not a robot.

And she was obviously scared. Trembling in fear, she leaped from the balcony into the night.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ice Queen flew in fury to the balcony. Her face contorted in rage and her fist shook in her fit. "COME BACK, YOU WUSSY!" She realized that Seether was glaring at her, in blazing fury. Nervously, she tried to convey surprise. "What was that all about?"

She flinched when Seether raised a blazing fist. Her red eyes spouted angry flames. Trembling in absolute fear for her own life, Ice Queen raised an aged, arthritic finger in the direction of the balcony. "Was that your friend or something?"

"..."

Ice Queen swallowed loudly. She jabbed a finger at the sky with a shout of, "LOOK! Dustin Geever!"

"..."

"Look! A nanobot!"

"Look! The apocolypse!"

"..."

"Someone just got hit in the jingleblings!"

"..."

"Jingleblings!"

"Someone got hit in them!"

Seether's flaming eyes slowly moved to the left.

"FREEZE!"

Ice Queen took her chance and froze Seether in a thick block of frosty ice. The assassin's flames doused instantly, leaving her body, for once, completely cold. The only things that now moved of her were her eyes, which glared at the Ice Queen with absolute, furious hatred.

"Peace out, muchacho!" Ice Queen called as she flew out into the outdoors. It was dawn now, with the sun rising over the grassy horizon in a fiery orange orb. Sunlight warmed her icy skin and melted the always-present frost in her hair. Halfway between her castle and he enemy's Treehouse, she flipped around to glide on her belly. She growled to herself loudly before letting out a shriek of "FRICKIN' CRAMPS! CRAMPS, CRAMPS, _CRAMPS_!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at the Treehouse, Cake was standing before the open window. The sunlight made her fur glow and her tail twitch in the breeze. A long, bright yellow shawl was pulled over her shoulders. The fabric fluttered in the breeze. Her unicorn mug was emitting tendrils of steam, courtesy of the scalding hot tea inside. Without looking behind her, she called, "Hey, Fifi, are you up yet?"<p>

Fionna, with her body cocooned in her pelt sleeping bag and her face buried in her pillows, muffled bag, "'M werphin on it."

Cake swallowed heavily before saying, "I had a dream about Ice Cream Woman last night."

"You did?"

"...I think I'm gonna stop eating Ice Cream Woma-AHHHH!"

Cake screamed as the Ice Queen's body slammed into her own, sending the both of them flying into the bedroom. Ice Queen managed to lift herself into her air before they crashed but Cake ended up smacking face-first into one of the thicker roots of the floor. At the sudden racket of her sister being attacked, Fionna flipped her body over to scream, "YOU'RE GROUN-"

_**"SHUT UP!" **_the Ice Queen shrieked.

Fionna's mouth clamped shut instantly.

Ice Queen realized her mistake immediately afterwards. Her attitude immediately went from fed-up to nervous in a split second. She rubbed her forearm nervously, her raspy voice barely over a whisper. "Uh...Okay..." She sighed and forced herself to speak louder. "I hired a woman to kill you by accident..." Fionna and Cake's response was silent. "I thought she was just gonna hit you in the gut or something. Make you puke...But anyway, I froze her in ice, but I think she's free now. She's made of fire." Ice Queen paused. "Or she commands fire? I guess..."

"...What?" Was Fionna's only response.

"Good job." Cake gave the evil witch a mocking thumbs-up. "Nice job, 'The Ice Queen.'"

The windowed wall exploded that exact moment. As planks of wood and tiny shards of glass went flying, a whirlwind of foul black smoke entered the room, speckled by tiny sparks of fire. The sparks began to entwine and conjoin until Seether was standing in the room, her fury emitting in physical flames.

"OH MY LIFE!" Fionna shrieked.

Seether responded by hurling a ball of scalding flames in Fionna and Cake's direction. In her rage, however, her aim was a bit off and the shot ended up hitting the wall behind the two girls. But the blast was enough to send Fionna flying out of her sleeping bag and Cake soaring into the opposite wall.

Seether was already preparing for another attack. Her fists were erupting in angry flames that licked up to her elbows. Cake saw the fire-controlling being pull back her fists and immediately dashed over to protect her younger sister's body with her own. "GRAB ON!"

Fionna latched onto the feline's back just as another blast of fire was thrown at them. Cake bounded out of the gigantic hole in the wall, with Ice Queen flying shortly behind.

Fionna's head whipped around to check behind them. Her stomach dropped when she saw that Seether was soaring towards them, her skin smoking and her eyes ablaze. She looked like an angel of death. "Cupcake! Do something! She's getting closer!"

Cake didn't hesitate for a second. She grew a fifth limb from her back and sent it flying at Seether. All three girls gasped when the feline's paw passed _right through _the hitwoman's body, as if she were nothing more than smoke itself. "My kicksters ain't gonna work!"

Seether raised a bandaged arm high in the air. A sphere of deadly flames appeared in her palm, licking at the air. She twisted her arm back and sent the fireball flying right at the trio.

Fionna screamed, "Ruuuuuuun!"

Cake did as she was told. She ran as fast as her four large limbs could go. But she was moving too fast. The older sister tripped on a risen clod of dirt, sending her and her sister flying. In the blink of an eye, Cake had her arms and legs wrapped around Fionna's body to protect her from the impact. When the two girls hit the earth, Cake's shield broke and Fionna went rolling through the grass.

Fionna groaned and lifted herself just enough to look behind her. The fireball was ten times as big as she had thought, and it was now flying at them like a miniature sun. Fionna grasped and latched onto her sister. Well, if they were gonna die, they might as well be together.

The fiery blast never came.

Although Fionna's eyes were squeezed shut, she could feel a a great vibration move through her body. The air, which was formerly growing hotter by the second, was now icy cool. She cracked her eyes open to see what happened. She and Cake were now standing inside a large ice dome. She estimated that the walls were about five feet thick. The Ice Queen was facing the walls of the dome, her hands still raised from her defense. Making sure the job was done, she turned to look at the duo. "You dead?"

"Uh..." Cake recoiled from her sister to inspect her body for any injuries. "I don't think so..."

"That was close..." Ice Queen wiped the frozen sweat from her forehead.

Fionna groaned, letting her head fall limp. "Geez." She glared up at the Ice Queen, her arms waving in anger. "What were you _thinking?_"

Ice Queen blinked at her. "What?"

"We almost died because of you!" yelled Fionna.

Ice Queen glared right back at her. "If you hadn't grounded me, I wouldn't have been so angry and wanted to hit you!"

"JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN HIRE A PSYCHO KILLER TO HIT PEOPLE!"

"I WAS GROUNDED! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO HIT YOU IF I COULDN'T LEAVE THE CASTLE?!"

Fionna slapped her forehead with a loud _smack. _"You're not making any sense."

Cake flinched when something wet and icy cold hit her forehead. She looked up and saw that the top of the dome was already melting, making icy water drip down on them. "Girls, I don't think this ice dome's gonna last long."

"What do we do?" asked Fionna.

Ice Queen thought very hard for a long moment. With her eyes squeezed tight and her jaw almost breaking from being clenched so hard, she hummed to herself. "Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Oh!" She smiled, and turned to the two girls. "I'm gonna kill you two."

Fionna and Cake stared back for a long, silent, awkward moment. Cake glared at the Ice Queen with a cry of, "Hey, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ice Queen waved her hands for them to stop. "I'm not _really _gonna kill you. I'm just gonna lower your body temperature so you _feel _dead! Afterwards, I'll warm you back up good as new!"

"NO way," immediately interrupted Cake. She turned to her sister in such a way the Ice Queen was blocked from her view. "This wacko already got us too many close-calls. I'm not accepting another."

"Yeah!" Fionna glared over Cake's shoulder at the Ice Queen. "Why should be trust you?"

In answer, Ice Queen froze the two girls in a single block of ice.

The two girls' movements were immediately paused in motion when their bodies became imprisoned in the giant block of frozen water. Fionna was opening her mouth in an objection, probably 'stop', judging by the shape of her lips. Cake had just been turning around, and was now frozen with her neck craned and her body twisted.

"You'll thank me later," Ice Queen assured them with a slight chuckle.

With a deep breath, she waved her arms at the walls of the dome. A hole immediately melted like snow. Ice Queen jumped out, her arms waving madly with a shriek of "STOP!"

Seether's arm had just been rearing back in another fireball attack. She did stop, the only movements of her body being the flickers of the flames on her arm, but the look her fiery eyes gave the Ice Queen clearly said _Make one wrong move and you burn._

"TIME OUT!" Ice Queen tapped her the fingers of her two hands into a _T_ shape. The rest of the dome was already melting away, flooding the grass in an icy slush. Fionna and Cake's bodies, however, remained frozen. Ice Queen pointed crooked fingers at them. "You don't need to do this anymore, see? They're dead." Seether paused for a silent moment before slowly floating down to the Ice Queen's side. "I killed them myself." Ice Queen slapped the ice in front of Fionna's face. "Dead, dead, dead! Totally dead. No pulses."

The flames of Seether's eyes vanished, her crimson pupils squinting down at the frozen heroines. Ice Queen jumped when the hitwoman's fingers sprung in flames and moved towards the girls. The flames of Seether's fingers were hot enough to make the ice melt away. To the Ice Queen's relief, Seether got rid of the flames once Fionna's wrist was exposed. The human teenager's arm fell limp onto the slushy grass and Seether picked it up with slender fingers. She pressed her middle and index fingers of her opposite hand to press down on the skin of Fionna's wrist.

She nodded after a long, agonizing silence.

"So, uh..." Ice Queen coughed away the crack in her voice. "Looks like you can go home now..."

A burst of flames erupted above Seether's palm, making the icy witch jump. However, instead of a fireball or another deadly weapon of flames, the only thing in front of her was another roll of parchment but the same black quill. "Oh, yes, of course!" In her anxiety, Ice Queen forgot to read the parchment and instead wrote her signature at the bottom right away.

The parchment and quill burned to a crisp the second she signed the _N._

"Wha-?" Ice Queen gawked at Seether with her arms raised in the air. "WHY DID I HAVE TO SIGN IT IF YOU WERE JUST GONNA BURN IT?!"

"..."

"...Nevermind..." Ice Queen chuckled quietly. For a long moment, Seether just stared at her in absolute silence. "What? What do you want?"

Ice Queen gasped when Seether vanished in a plume of thick black smoke, quickly vanishing in the breeze that followed. All that remained of Seether was a small note slowly falling through the air. Ice Queen reached out to catch it.

_**Completed Hit**_

_**Target: **__Fionna & Cake_

_**Signature: **__Ice Queen_

_:) Thank you!_

"Glad that's over," huffed Ice Queen. She balled the note in her hands and chucked it over her shoulder before approaching her still-frozen frenemies. She lifted up the hem of her gown as she stepped onto the thick block of ice. As she gingerly sat down on it, her body gave a long shiver. "Ooh~! That ice is _cold._ Oh! Almost forgot!"

Ice Queen reached into the thick folds of her dress and pulled out a familiar container filled with fresh, plump blueberries. Ice Queen cackled in spite of herself. "Some love-berries outta speed up the process!"

She was still cackling as she dumped the berries onto the frozen faces of her grounders.

TRIVIA

Ice Queen states that Lumpy Space Prince and Ghost Prince are her least favorite princes.

At the end of the Ice Queen's letter to Seether it says, "3, the Ice Queen."

CULTURAL REFERENCES

The Ice Queen's 'OrangeTop' is a reference to an Apple laptop, the 'Vimvixen' window is a reference to 'Firefox', and the 'Giggle' page is a reference to 'Google.'


	56. Too Young

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Prince Gumball**: A now 14-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Countess of Lemongrab-A high-strung, over-zealous, obnoxious and stubborn heir to the Candy Kingdom. She is one of Prince Gumball's experiments and the first one to go wrong. She was able to usurp the throne of the Candy Kingdom on the technicality of Gumball's de-aging. She is one of the few overtly humanoid candy people. She has yellow, lemon-textured skin, a bulbous, lemon-shaped head and a long, pointed nose. In addition, she has a long, snake-like tongue and oval eyes with black irises. Her teeth can change from normally stubbed to razor sharp. Her face is almost identical to her male counterpart's, but with eyelahes on her eyes. Like many _Adventure Time _characters, she has long, noodly limbs and a lean torso. Limesnatch wears Victorian-styled clothing. She wears a ruffled white blouse with three gold medals on the front, a puffy gray skirt that reaches her knees, and a black-and green belt. Her hands are covered in elbow-length gray gloves and she wears thigh-high black boots. For bed she wears a knee-length, white cotton nightgown.

Peppermint Maid-Prince Gumball's loyal maid as well as a Candy Kingdom inhabitant. As a royal helper, Peppermint Dress is a well-dressed candy person. She wears a traditional black dress with white lace, with a headpiece and black flats. As opposed to Peppermint Butler, she has black eyes.

Too Young

_Title Card_

_Fionna smiles as she and Prince Gumball smile pleasantly at each other. Slowly, very slowly, they begin to lean into each other._

The Candy Castle was having a party,

Of sorts. There was no real theme. It wasn't someone's birthday, nor was it a holiday. It was just a random party that Prince Gumball decided to allow. Five coolers were stacked in the middle of the entrance hall, overflowing with icy sodas, waters, and sport drinks. A table of snacks was set up a few feet from the aisle carpet, completely covered in snacks brought by the party-goers. Bags of chips, bowls of dip, and saucers of fruits and veggies. Someone had set up a colorful boom-box that was currently blasting out cheerful tunes. An LED dance-floor had been rolled in, and now a few Candy people were 'getting down' atop of it. Someone had set up their own pool-park of sorts. Wooden boards had been nailed to one of the sugar-malt pillars, forming a ladder that led up to a wooden landing. A licorice rope was ready for the next Candy person, who took the rope and swung out ten feet before letting go. When they did so, they landed into an already-made pool of crystal-clear water. Whoever wasn't taking part in these activities was chatting and socializing.

"Fionna!"

Prince Gumball's bright purple eyes scanned the area around him through the plastic goggles screening them. Instead of joining in the activities in the entrance hall, he was a room away, in his own scientific world. A table had been set up behind him, absolutely covered in glass vials filled with brightly colored liquids and powders. Papers scrawled in formulas were scattered about the floor. The young fourteen-year-old prince was on his knees on the floor, crouched over his latest experiment. But this experiment needed help. "Fionna, where are you?"

Fionna was hiding behind one of the suger-malt pillars, that's where. Her back was pressed to the pillar, her knees buckled and her fingers trembling uncontrollably. She had been nervous ever since yesterday's afternoon, when Prince Gumball had asked her to assist him on his new experiment. If he had asked her before she'd have just thought (and known) that it was an ask for help and nothing more. But now, with Prince Gumball _her _age, maybe it meant something more? Cake sure thought so. All morning she had given her tips and tricks for her new 'date.' Fionna had forgotten every single one of them.

"I need you to try this!" Prince Gumball called.

"Be there in a sec!" called Fionna. She struggled to reach into her backpack and pull out her cellphone. She tried to call Cake's number, but had to restart three times before it finally started ringing.

* * *

><p>Back at the Treehouse, Cake was enjoying herself in a game of <em>Kingdom's Key <em>on Beema's screen. Her cellphone was already nestled in the space between her neck and shoulder, so when it began to rang, she carefully punched the answer button with her cheek. "What's the status?"

_"Good, girl. I think I'm making some serious brownie points." _

"Nice," Cake complimented her sister. "Seal the deal."

On the other end, Fionna gave a goofy, almost hysterical, laugh. _"Yeah, OK. Whateves, lol."_

"YOU CAN DO IT!" Cake shouted to snap Fionna out of her phase. She already knew that it was a semi-habit for Fionna to text-talk when she was Gumball-nervous. She actually heard Fionna jump on the other end. "YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! Now I'm playing Beema, call me later."

Cake hung up before Fionna could retort. She returned to her game, still struggling to open the chest in the secret dungeon. "How's Fionna's date?" Beema asked fromm its speakers.

"I think it's going pretty good," replied Cake. The feline's forehead furrowed in annoyance when _THE CHEST IS LOCKED _flashed on the screen for the seventh time.

The computer chuckled. "Unlike your game."

Cake growled. "Tell me where the key is, Beema! TELL ME!" When the little game console only crossed its little arms over its speakers, Cake bent her head back in a scream of frustration. "AAAAAAARGH!"

* * *

><p>Fionna stuffed the phone back into her backpack and took a deep breath of air. Her fists raised to her chest, she spoke to herself. "I'm a cool gal. Guys know I'm math. Totally true." With one last breath, she spun on her heel and made a beeline for Prince Gumball's makeshift lab. "Woop-woop! I'm back!"<p>

Fionna knelt down next to her appropriate-aged crush to get a closer look at the newest experiment. A round-based vial lay before them. It was about as tall as Fionna's fingertip-elbow length, filled with a sparkling cyan liquid that looked thinner than water. "What's that?" asked Fionna. She thought about it for a moment, and her face fell. "You're not trying to make yourself young again, are you?"

"Nah," answered Prince Gumball. Fionna let out a sigh of relief as her crush leaned down to inspect the liquid closer. "This is a derma-treatment tonic. It cleans your skin of any bacteria."

"I don't bathe," Fionna chuckled. She picked up the vial, surprised by its lightness. "I'll try it."

Fionna took a deep swig of the tonic. At first, she thought it tasted nice. Kind of fruity and sweet. It was also very cool and she wondered if Prince Gumball put any ice in it. Then it got cooler. And...cooler. Cold, cold, COLD! FREEZING COLD! Fionna screamed when her entire body freezed over, inside and out. Her skin, her intestines, her very brain felt trapped in blocks of ice. She tried to speak, but her rock-solid tongue almost didn't allow it. "Fweesy! Fweesy cawld!"

Prince Gumball was almost dying of laughter. He tried his best to stifle them, but they kept coming in exploding waves. He stumbled over to Fionna and fell next to her. Between his giggles, he teased, "You're fweesy cawld."

"Bwah-bwah-bwah~!"

Prince Gumball's laughter ceased as he and Fionna looked up to Mandy the pinata, who had just giving her own trumpet song. Mandy continued as soon as she saw that all attention was on her. "Announcing the arrival of the Countess of Lemongrab!"

Murmurs of confusion quickly turned to gasps of shock when the Countess herself walked in. It was no wonder why her title was _Lemon_grab. She looked like a walking lemon. Her skin was a bright-yellow colored, its texture not unlike her named fruit. Ironically, her expression was a sour one. Her black, lightly-lashed oval eyes were permanently narrowed and her leathery lips were set in a distasteful frown. A long, pointed nose jutted out from her lemon-shaped, completely bald head. She was tall and somewhat twiggy, with thin limbs and a flat torso. She wore a white blouse with a frilly neckline. Three golden medals shown on the front. A belt of green-and-black circles wrapped around her waist, attached to a somewhat puffy gray skirt that went down to her knees. Black leather boots climbed up to her thighs, and her hands were covered with elbow-length gray globes. She was riding a sort of camel-horse creature that almost looked to be from the same race as her. The creature had the same leathery yellow skin and black eyes, but its body was long and it walked on all four legs.

Lemongrab observed her surroundings with distaste. She sneered at a pillow-fighting couple. She scoffed at a cannon-balling lollipop. And when Cinnamon Bun fell from the wooden landing to right in front of the camel-horse creature, her sugary icing splattering everywhere, she looked like she was about to vomit.

"This castle is in unacceptable condition," she said quietly. Then, in a high-pithced, ear-splitting, somewhat thin voice, she shrieked, "UNACCEPTABLE!"

The Candy people surrounded the Countess with loud whispers of worry and confusion. Lemongrab swatted them away with long, leathery fingers. "One month in the dungeon!" she yelled.

CB looked up at her with big, confused eyes. "For who?"

"EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM!" screeched Lemongrab. The Candy people jumped in fright.

"Wait!"

Fionna and Prince Gumball stumbled over their feet as they ran up to Lemongrab. Once reaching her, Prince Gumball tried to stand tall and stern, but his newly-short stature failed it. "You can't give orders like that!" he exclaimed. He jabbed his thumb at himself. "I'm in charge here, Lemongrab!'

"TOO YOUNG!" Lemongrab shrieked, causing Prince Gumball to recoil. The Countess pointed a long, gloved finger at the young prince with her eyes ablaze. "TOO YOUNG TO RULE THE KINGDOM!"

A wave of annoyance crashed down on Fionna. She jumped between Prince Gumball and Lemongrab, smacking the Countess's offending hand out of her crush's face. She made sure to puff out her chest as she looked up at Lemongrab. "Watch your manners with the prince!"

Lemongrab let out a breathy shriek of anger.

Fionna's confidence crumbled to confusion. "What the what?"

Lemongrab gave an odd scoff and turned in the direction of the frightened Candy people. She narrowed her eyes as she spoke. "I am next in line for the throne. So I will be in charge until Prince Gumball is eighteen again!"

The Candy people gasped in fear. They would never survive four years with this psychopath! Let alone one day! They turned to Fionna and their prince with wide, pleading eyes.

"That's bunk!" Fionna shook an angry fist at the rude. She glanced at her crush out of the corner of her eye. "Right, Preegubs?"

Prince Gumball let out a heavy sigh that made Fionna's stomach clench. His eyes closed, Prince Gumball said, "No. She's right. She's rightful ruler under kingdom law. It's complicated..."

* * *

><p><strong>I wanted to create an aunt for myself...<strong>

_Moonlight streamed through the window of Prince Gumball's lab. The eighteen-year-old royal was working on his latest experiment: a new aunt. He was dressed in his usual snowy lab-coat and plastic goggles. The middle of the lab had been cleared out to give his new creation room. Now there was just a small wooden table holding a large beaker of a thick red liquid and a larger, metallic table. On this table was the body of the soon-to-be aunt. Her body was completely bare and faceless, just a mound of limbs, a head, and a torso made of leathery flesh. Prince Gumball walked away for a moment to grab the long, pointed stick of flesh that would be his aunt's nose. He carefully placed the nose in the middle of her face._

**But she didn't turn out as I planned...**

_Prince Gumball finally grabbed the liquid-filled beaker. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and stiffly leaned over the lifeless body. He lowered the beaker just enough for three drops of the blood-like liquid to drop onto his aunt's face. There was a rubbery sound as two eye slits and a mouth appeared with the nose. The eye slits opened just enough so that the black orbs inside could be seen. She stared at Prince Gumball for a long time..._

_...and suddenly began shrieking. Prince Gumball leaped back as __Lemongrab __sat straight up, her arms flailing around madly. Her shrieks grew louder and louder and Prince Gumball gasped as her black irises rolled to the back of her head._

* * *

><p>"...So now that I'm younger than her, she has the right to the throne," concluded the heavy-hearted prince. Fionna didn't know whether to comfort him or to plead with him to do something.<p>

"Anyone who disagrees or disobeys..." Lemongrab paused for dramatic affect as she glared at the Candy people. "...Will be thrown in the dungeon."

A small gumdrop girl waddled up to Lemongrab. Looking up at the Countess with big, sparkling eyes, she squeaked, "The _Royal_ Dungeon?"

"32 DAYS IN THE DUNGEON FOR YOU!"

Fionna and Prince Gumball gasped in shock, their jaws nearly hitting the floor. The gumdrop girl looked like she was about to cry as her eyes grew wider, sparkling with oncoming tears. "B-b-but..."

Lemongrab glared down at her icily. _"Dungeon."_

The gumdrop gave Lemongrab one last tear-filled look before she turned on her heel and headed for the exit. "Goodbye, everyone," she whispered as silent tears fell down her face.

Lemongrab stood straighter, placing her hands on her hips. "I require at least one full REM cycle a day." She turned to the others. "So don't bother me. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bedroom." Lemongrab waved a long yellow hand to Cinnamon Bun's splattered icing mess. "Clean this up or dungeon. Three hours dungeon."

Starchie looked around her friends in confusion. "Who are you talking to?"

Lemongrab pointed a finger at the malt ball. "Three. Hours. Dungeon."

"OH, GLOB!" Starchie fell to her knees and shook her fists in the air. Candy people clustered around her worriedly. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Fionna and Prince Gumball approached the forlorn Starchie, their arms outstretched in comfort. Fionna knelt down next to her friend to reach eye level. "We'll see you in a few hours, Starchie."

"Yeah right," huffed Starchie. She mumbled under her breath as she sulked away. "If Starchie can survive that long."

Prince Gumball span to face the human heroine. "Fionna, this is dirt balls!" he yelled angrily. "We've got to do something to make him leave!"

"Yeah! Like pranking her up her face!"

Prince Gumball smiled at that. A perfect, toothy smile that made Fionna go as pink as a rose. "Hey, yeah! I have the perfect prank!" Prince Gumball took Fionna's hand. Instantly, the human girl's arm went limp. "Follow me!" And they ran out of the Entrance Hall, the two of them unable to contain their giggles and blushes.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later saw the two silently pushing open the hard candy door of Lemongrab's new room. The thin shaft of light that spread through the small opening shined just enough to allow them to see their surroundings. It seemed to be one of the few rooms in the castle to not have anything made of candy in it. The floor was made of solid cement, the hard stone walls bare except for the one concealed window. A few cardboard boxes were stacked in the corners, their written items of <em>UTENSIIIILS! <em>and _CLOTHES! _spilling out onto the floor. Prince Gumball pushed the door open just enough so that he and Fionna could crawl inside as quietly as possible. They split up so that both could go to either side of the brass-frame bed against the far wall. The lump that was Lemongrab lay nestled under the covers, her usually scary black eyes concealed by a black satin mask. Fionna dug into her pocket and took out the small rubber plug inside. Prince Gumball did the same and, together, they stuck the plugs onto the small indentations on the side of Lemongrab's head that served as her ears.

They went to work immediately. For the next hour, their hands were busy screwing rusty pipes, tightly knotting strings, filling bottles, fitting gloves and spinning tops. Finally, when all was done and ready, the two teens silently crept back into the hall, knowing that this was the calm before the storm.

* * *

><p>The digital clock next to Lemongrab's bed switched from <em>7:59 <em>to _8:00. _The alarm blared loudly, but it had no affect on the sleeping Countess due to the plugs still stuck in her ears. However, the gummy fish in the glass bowl next to the alarm clock did get quite a shock. The frightened creature swerved into the glass so hard the bowl fell to the floor. The bowl fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces as the fish freely flopped away.

The shattering glass echoed throughout the room. A small worm sitting in the corner jumped up from its curled position, which made the small marble nestled in its form spring into the air.

The marble fell right into a plastic funnel suspended on the wall. The marble fell through the funnel onto the plastic track attached to it. It rolled down the track quickly until it ended and the marble fell through the air into a small plastic cup below.

The cup was attached to a pair of scissors, and the force made the blades clamp down on one another. The blades cut the thin string between them.

The balloon belonging to the string lifted up into the air as a result. It hit a small paddle above.

The paddle made the the string attached to it lower to a few inches above a small platter. A tiny sprite noticed it, and dropped the small metal ball in its tiny hands to try and grab for it.

The small metal ball fell into a plastic tube below. The ball swirled down the tube before it landed right in the hold of a large magnet attached to a stick.

The heaviness of the magnet made the other end of the stick fly into the air. The other end held a small match that slid across a small sheet of sandpaper that forced the match to be lit ablaze. The match touched an unsuspecting string above. The string snapped when it caught fire.

The string dropped a heavy boot to a mustard bottle down on the floor. The mustard bottle splattered onto an already-annoyed pixie. She stormed off of her platter in anger.

The weight that left platter made it drop the metal block on the other end. The block, connected to hole-punched car by a string, pulled down the card. A small marble sped through the small hole and hit Lemongrab's forehead. The string connected to the card also lifted up a (rather rude) paper-printed message.

Lemongrab blinked awake when the small marble hit her head. She saw the paper in front of her face, but without her contacts, she couldn't see anything. She reached over to her bed-stand and grabbed her wire glasses. She read the message to herself slowly.

"You...really...smell...like...cat butts..."

Lemongrab shrieked in anger.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later saw all of the castle staff standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the entrance hall. They watched Lemongrab pace back and forth with wide, confused eyes filled with worry. Peppermint Maid stood a few feet away from the line of staff, waiting for orders. Fionna and Prince Gumball were hidden behind one of the sugar malt pillars. Their faces were fixed in excited smiles.<p>

"Well, well, well," Lemongrab stopped pacing to cross her gloved arms over her chest. "This is everyone, then?"

Peppermint Maid nodded obediently. "Yes, this is all the castle staff."

"Alright." Lemongrab gave all of the staff a sour glare that made their skins crawl. "Who did it? Who did the _thing_?"

The staff answered with silence for a long moment. The cook cleared her throat meekly. "The...thing?"

Lemongrab's upper teeth bit down on her lower lip as she breathed out, making a continuous _fffffff _sound. Her trembling fists raised to her chest and the staff feared that she was about to strike someone. In the end, Lemongrab just frowned heavily as she jammed her hand into the belt at her waist. She took out the rude sheet of paper and unfolded it for all to see. "THE THING-THING!"

"Hey."

The still-seething Lemongrab looked down to see what was tugging at the fabric of her leg. Peppermint Maid looked up at Lemongrab with calm eyes as her tiny, minty fingers continued to grip the cotton of the Countess's bodysuit. "Hey, girl. Calm down. It's just a prank. For laughs." Peppermint Maid paused as she let go of Lemongrab's leg. "If you can't take a joke, maybe you should go. Back home, to Lemongrab."

Lemongrab gave the royal assistant a confused glare. "'Prank'? For laughs?" Lemongrab's face softened and she looked at the paper with a rare calmness. "Yes, of course. No need to go. Just a harmless prank. For laughs."

Lemongrab took a deep breath, and everyone in the entrance hall prepared for an explosion of sound. Instead, the Countess laughed. A really awkward, monotonous laugh that made her fruit-shaped head bob up and down on her head crazily. Peppermint Maid gave a quiet, nervous chuckle.

Lemongrab's laugh ended abruptly. "Twelve years dungeon. All of you. No trials."

Fionna heard Prince Gumball sigh over the murmurs of the upset castle staff. The heroine's crush turned to her with a somber expression. "I don't think that turned out too math, Fionna."

"What? No, no," Fionna quickly reassured the royal. She offered a smile. "We just need more prankin' to get the job done. Let's try it my way this time."

Prince Gumball gave her a smile that made her blush a dark pink color. Then-to Fionna's pleasant surprise-he took her hand in his. Fionna smiled at him, despite the fact that all the blood in her face was making her dizzy.

"Thanks, Fionna."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Fionna and Prince Gumball were standing in one of the many guest bedrooms in the castle. Fionna stood in the doorway to watch for anyone coming, namely Lemongrab. She would hoot like an owl if she saw anyone. Prince Gumball, meanwhile, was taking off the snowy white sheets of the bed, cutting two holes in each. When he was finished he handed one to Fionna. The two teens covered themselves in the sheets and ran into the entrance hall.<p>

Lemongrab was standing in the entrance hall, staring at the wall across the floor. There was an unsightly crack in it that she desperately wanted to imprison someone for but couldn't find out how.

"Bluh-bluh-bluh!"

Lemongrab turned around at the sounds heading for her. Before she could do anything, two figures in snowy cotton sheets ran right at her, tackling her to the floor. One foot pounded into her stomach, the other into her shoulder. One made sure that their foot hit her jaw as she fled.

Lemongrab lay crumpled on the floor for a long moment, pained tears dripping down her leathery cheeks as she coughed away the pain in her stomach. She laughed then. It was like the laugh she did earlier, in the same pitch and rhythm, but it was more pained and her head didn't bob. "Nice one!" she called down the hall. "But I'm not goin' anywhere!" Lemongrab lifted herself from the floor and began to limp towards the castle kitchen. "Man, I need some ricecakes..."

Prince Gumball and Fionna observed this from behind the corner. Prince Gumball rolled his lips in a sigh. "I don't think that worked either."

"Here, follow me," Fionna took off their sheets and quickly stuffed them into a nearby ceramic vase. She and her crush joined hands and ran down the hall together.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, the two were sitting on one of the tower roofs. Instantly, they were hit with the almost staggering smell of sugar over the kingdom. They sat down on the sloped graham shingles and took in the view. You could see everything. Not just the kingdom, but the jungle beyond its barriers. After that was the bright green field that almost seemed endless. You could just see Fionna and Cake's Treehouse in the distance.<p>

"We'll ice-bomb her non-stop till her butt falls off," Fionna told the prince. She was almost trembling with excitement. "We need to use that tonic of yours. The one that was 'fweesy cawld.' How's that sound?"

Prince Gumball laughed merrily. "Yeah, let's do it."

And then-to Fionna's shock-Prince Gumball _wrapped his arm around her shoulder. _The one harmless movement made her shiver uncontrollably for a long moment before she finally stilled, still blushing.

* * *

><p>"Thank you for releasing me from the dungeon early Mistress Lemongrab," Peppermint Maid said as she walked through the door of Lemongrab's private dining room, a silver platter in her hands. The room itself was only slightly bigger than the Countess's bedroom, with no furniture whatsoever except for the one mahogany table and single oak chair that stood at the end of it. Lemongrab sat in the one chair and gave a light scoff at her maid's gratitude.<p>

"I determine what is early and what is late, Miss Peppermint," she replied curtly.

Peppermint Maid bit her lip and set the platter on the table before her new mistress. "Yes, your highness."

"Also, I don't know where food comes from."

Peppermint paused at that but replied, "My lady, food comes from-"

"NO!" Lemongrab screeched before she could finish. Peppermint Maid's mouth clamped shut instantly. "That's why I am 'royal' and you are 'serval.'"

Prince Gumball and Fionna observed all of this from inside the ceiling, a panel moved so that they could look down from above. Prince Gumball held the beaker filled with the cyan derma-tonic in his left hand. Fionna turned to him uncertainly. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I made it super cold this time," replied Prince Gumball.

Fionna nodded. "Wait until she opens the lid."

"Behold," Peppermint Maid announced. The two teens looked down below as the edible maid lifted up the silver lid of the platter, revealing a large mound of some kind of yellow-white mush. "Mashed turnips! Carefully soaked in water to eliminate all excess flavo-AAAAAHHHH!"

Prince Gumball and Fionna flinch-jumped when the drop of the derma-tonic fell _right into Peppermint Maid's eye. _The poor maid continued to screech in pain as her organ laced over in frost. Her scleras went from white to icy blue in a second. Lemongrab just gawked in confusion. It was as Peppermint Maid's spilling eyes went flying around the room that she spotted her true master and his friend above in the ceiling. Fionna immediately pressed her index finger to her lips. Although Peppermint Maid said nothing, her frozen eye and her normal eye were both filled with understanding.

"STOP SCREAMING!" Lemongrab screamed above Peppermint Maid's cries of pain. "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?"

"AAAAAAAI'M JUST SO EXCITED FOR THIS MEAL I MADE!" Peppermint Maid screamed back. Prine Gumball took this moment to spill several droplets of the tonic into the mashed turnips. The lump of mush absorbed it immediately.

Lemongrab gave Peppermint Maid a long, suspicious look before responding, "Me too. I'm excited too." She grabbed her silver fork and picked up a large glob of the poisoned mush. And then she ate it.

The reaction was instant. Lemongrab spat out the mush right into Peppermint Maid's face. Her leathery yellow skin took on a bluish tint and her eye sockets laced over in frost. She banshee-screeched in absolute agony and terror. She stood pin-straight from her chair, sending it to the floor. She ran about in crazed circles around the room for a minute before she _jumped out of the window. _Prince Gumball and Fionna gasped.

Thirty feet below, Lemongrab crashed head-first into the earth. Confused and shocked Candy people jumped out of their skins and stared. Lemongrab's head was completely buried in the dirt.

"Holy yoga!" cried Fionna. She, Prince Gumball, and the now-silent Peppermint Maid were at the window and were observing the scene.

They watched as Lemongrab shoved several sun-baked stones into her mouth. The heat of them warmed up her frozen body immediately, and she sighed in content.

"She's eating the stones!" yelled Peppermint Maid. "FREEZE THEM NOW!"

Prince Gumball poured several drops of tonic onto the stones in Lemongrab's hands just before the three of them dashed down the staircase. The Countess shoved them into her mouth, unaware at their poisoned state. When the stones hit her tongue her body was engulfed in another wave of frozen pain. She withered on the ground for a long time, screeching and screaming in terror. Finally, she jumped onto her feet and took off in the opposite direction. Fionna, Cake, and Peppermint Maid dashed after her. "She's headed for the orchard!" Peppermint Maid exclaimed.

Sure enough, five minutes later saw the four of them running through the Candy Kingdom Orchard. Tall trees dashed by them, lush with lump oranges, bright apples, and juicy peaches. Peppermint Maid, Prince Gumball, and Fionna secretly ran past Lemongrab and quickly climbed a particularly tall, branchy tree. The tired but still-frozen Lemongrab finally fell to her knees in exhaustion. She looked up and saw a particular peach standing in a hot beam of sunlight, belonging to the very tree that the trio was hiding in. She reached and clawed for it, but it was far out of her reach. Finally, her long fingers clamped down on the fruit, but its grip was tight on the branch. Lemongrab was left dangling from it. She bounced up and down on the branch. Unfortunately, the jerky movements made Peppermint Maid stumble forward into view. Lemongrab just had time to yelp in confusion before the peach gave away and she fell to the earth.

The release of the weight made Peppermint Maid fly off of the branch. _Right into __Lemongrab's __mouth. _The Countess tried to yell out in confusion, but ultimately decided not to. The warm mintiness of Peppermint Maid's round body made the iciness of her own body vanished. She gave a sigh of content and sat up, greedily sucking on Peppermint Maid's head. The poor maid whimpered uncomfortably. Lemongrab's teeth, usually somewhat stubbed, somehow had grown razor-sharp and were taking off chips of her body.

It was as Lemongrab was engulfing Peppermint Maid that she saw Fionna and Prince Gumball in the tree. She glared at them in suspicious, angry confusion for a long moment.

Fionna chuckled nervously.

"ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!"

* * *

><p>And now they were in the dungeon cell.<p>

Fionna sighed as she leaned against the hard, peppermint bars of her prison. Luckily, the dungeon wasn't as dirty as a normal dungeon would be. The floor, though made of stones, didn't reek of mildew and dirt. The walls were also made of stones but they had barred windows here and there to let in fresh air. It smelled sweet and it wasn't too hot or too cold. But it was so _crowded. _It wasn't just Fionna, Prince Gumball, and Peppermint Maid. It was also all of the castle staff from earlier, all huddled together in the same cell as them. And it was also the thirty-something Candy people that Lemongrab had imprisoned on her castle rounds. The dungeon wasn't meant to hold so many prisoners. Some of the smaller citizens were forced to dangle from bird cages hanging from the ceiling. They were particularly miserable.

But not as miserable as their prince. Fionna had never seen Prince Gumball so sad, and it nearly broke her heart. As he observed his own people in their cells, sad and miserable, he couldn't help but be miserable too. This was all his fault. If he had just done _something _to stay as ruler, Lemongrab would be long gone. But doing something to stay ruler at 14 would break the royal rules, and that could be punishable by execution. Prince Gumball turned to Fionna with a sigh. "I think we blew it with the pranks."

"Nah, it's cool," said Fionna. She gave him a pat on the back. "Cupcake'll come looking for me in a day or two."

"Yeah, but Lemongrab will still rule the kingdom."

"Maybe we can...set his but on fire?"

"No, Fionna..." Prince Gumball muttered softly. "There's only one way. I just didn't want to have to do it." He continued after a glance at Fionna's confused face. "If I change myself back to my real age...I could reclaim the throne."

Fionna jumped to her feet at that. No, not now! Now when she was so close! "No!" she exclaimed. The other Candy prisoners gave her odd but knowing looks. Fionna blushed and sat back down. "I mean...You can do that?"

Prince Gumball nodded slowly.

Fionna slumped at that. Then she perked up. "Then why did you wait so long?"

"Because...being fourteen again is..." Prince Gumball cut off in a chuckle. He looked up at Fionna with bright purple eyes, filled with a sort of sad joy. "Boombadobie!"

Even though Fionna would usually know the meaning of this neologism, her crushed mood was messing with her brain too much to comprehend it. She gave Prince Gumball another confused look. "What?"

"Being eighteen is all flopfluck and wagglesags. I never really get to be a kid."

Fionna hadn't considered that ever before. She thought that that was just how Prince Gumball was. Responsible, leader, always in charge. But he never seemed to be having fun. He was always having to take care of something. His people, his castle, maintaining the royal rules. She never thought he was miserable. Now she felt guilty to never see it before. "Oh..."

"But it's OK," Prince Gumball smiled at her. A sad smile that made Fionna's heart clench. "My people need me. And they always come first."

"Yeah," Fionna nodded, but her green-blue eyes darted to the window. Anything to avoid the pleading gaze that her crush was pointing at her.

Prince Gumball stood to his feet and brushed off the thick dust that had formed on his hot pink shirt. He turned to face Fionna and the other Candy prisoners. "The first thing we need is more candy-flesh to increase my biomass." Prince Gumball's face paused in deep thought for a moment. He let out a long groan and slapped his forehead. "But I need my lab equipment to engineer it!"

"Not necessary, milord."

Prince Gumball looked down in question. Peppermint Maid now stood before him, smiling up at him sweetly. Seeing that she had his attention, she brought her two hands to the top of her head/body and began to pull. With a _crack, _she pulled off a large chunk of her peppermint body. A V-shaped crevice was left embedded in her body.

One by one, all of the candy prisoners pulled off their own flesh in offering. Most were cautious, making sure to just tear off anything unimportant. Others sacrificed eyes, mouths, and limbs. They approached their prince (the ones in the other cells had to press their bodies against the bars) and held out their offerings.

Prince Gumball gasped. He never thought his people would do such a sacrifice for him! Despite the fact that he was still in great shock, he managed to give them all a large, sincere smile. "Thank you! Thank you all! OK, now we need a bonding agent."

"Princess."

Prince Gumball turned to Fionna. She wasn't smiling or frowning sadly, but her face was one of soft determination. "I think I can help.

* * *

><p><em>Slurp slurp slurp slurp<em>

Fionna wiped her mouth of the stickiness that came from the large chunk of lollipop in her hands and attached it to the mass. A small malt girl handed her her chunk of chocolate flesh, and Fionna went to work on it instantly.

_Slurp slurp slurp slurp_

She attached it to the mass and turned to accept the last piece. A small gumdrop handed her its arm.

_Slurp slurp slurp_

She stuck it onto the biomass and stood up, wiping whatever sugar-stickiness was left on her mouth. "Yep. This looks about right."

The candy-flesh biomass was attached to Prince Gumball. A mountain of sticky candy towered above his head. Due to the lack of space, two limbs of candy flesh jutted out from the mass around his shoulders. It looked like he was wearing a rainbow-colored turban or something. Fionna giggled when she saw it, but turned around to call, "Someone get the Countess down here!"

"Wait Fionna."

Prince Gumball blushed when Fionna turned to look at him with those big, sparkling, blue-green eyes of hers. Geez, he looked ridiculous. Her mirth-filled gaze said so. "There's one last thing we need." He took a deep breath and said, still blushing, "Only the heat from a whopping love-hug can catalyze the reagifying process."

Fionna didn't giggle. She didn't blush or faint. Instead, she just stared and smiled at the prince like an absolute idiot. She wrung the hem of her shirt in her hands.

Then she took a step forward. She reached out and took her crush's hands in hers. They stared into each others' eyes for a long time. Blue on purple. Green on pink. Their pink blushes were identical. Fionna took a deep breath. "Are you ready, prince?"

"Yeah, Fionna," answered the prince. But he spoke up when Fionna leaned in. "Wait. I just...want you to know how much fun I've had hanging out with you."

"Me too!" Fionna exclaimed a bit too quickly. Her blush deepened.

Prince Gumball took this chance to continue. "And I...I wish I could stay like this-with you. But..."

Fionna frowned sadly. "I know, prince."

And then they hugged. Fionna's arms went around the prince's shoulders. The prince's arms went around Fionna's waist. They stayed like that for a long moment. The air was sparkling. Literally. Tiny silver orbs fluttered into the air, dazzling and sparkling like snowflakes. More and more appeared by the second. The air around them was warm and loving.

Finally, Fionna and the prince pulled back, their noses brushing against each other, very slowly. But without opening their eyes, their faces leaned into each other.

And they kissed.

Fionna wasn't even aware that the tiny orbs burst into a flash of white and disappeared. Wasn't aware that Prince Gumball shot a half-foot into the air. Wasn't even aware that her face was buried into the someone's shirt.

"'Scuse me, Fionna."

Fionna stepped back. Prince Gumball was eighteen again. He was taller than her again. His hair was back in its quiff. His eyes had gone from big and round to ever-so-slightly almond shaped. Even his clothes had somehow gone back to their usual royal appearance. He was Prince Gumball, Fionna's crush that would always be out of her reach.

Prince Gumball walked to the round barred window of the cell. He pressed his cheeks against the peppermint bars and called, "YO LEMONGRAB!"

_"What?!" _yelled the scratchy, high-pitched voice of the Countess.

"YOU'RE FIRED, YA BUTT! PACK YER JUNK!"

Lemongrab replied with an scream.

* * *

><p>She was still grumbling as she trotted away on her horse-camel. The sun was setting now, casting the sugary kingdom in a beautiful golden glow. All was silent now in the kingdom. Everyone was hiding from the zealous Countess in their homes, leaving the streets and road empty. Fionna and Prince Gumball sat at the top of the castle steps, side-by-side. They watched the Countess ride away until she was out of sight.<p>

Prince Gumball turned to Fionna with a relieved sigh with a smile. "I'm so glad everything's back to normal. Thank you, Fionna."

"Oh, yeah," Fionna responded. She brought a hand to the back of her neck and rubbed there awkwardly. "But..."

The prince smiled kindly. "What is it, Fionna?"

"Uh...do you wanna..." Fionna's hand slide from her neck to across her jawline before it fell limp in her lap. "...Hug some more?"

"What? Fionna, you silly," the prince chuckled a bit as he stood to his feet. Fionna frowned in disappointment. "That was like, four years ago. You really gotta move on."

"Oh...yeah. Sorry."

The prince chuckled more. He strode through the doors of the entrance hall, whispering, "Silly girl." And then he disappeared from sight.

Fionna stared at the closed door for a long moment. Then her gaze turned to the golden sunset before her. In a way, it reminded her of the prince. Influential and bright. Always glowing. Intriguing her with its abilities. And no matter how far she reached, or how fast she ran, she would never be able to catch it.

She sighed heavily and put her head in her hands.

A loud, ringing tune made her jump up. She dug her hand into her backpack and pulled out her ringing cellphone. She clicked the round green button and asked, "Hello?"

* * *

><p>"Hey girl, what's the status?" asked Cake. Back at the Treehouse, she hadn't gotten up from her chair all day, except for food and necessities. Now, three empty soda cans were at her feet and her fur was sprinkles with potato chip crumbles. She was so close to the ending of <em>Kingdom's Key<em> now. Her heroine was now running from the last batch of cursed trolls in the castle corridors.

_"Bad news, girl-I...I got dumped."_

"Aw, I'm sorry, girl," Cake said sincerely. But she was left to wonder whether Prince Gumball had actually dumped her or if he had somehow turned eighteen again. She also wanted to know why Fionna hadn't answered her last thirteen calls, but she knew now wasn't the time to ask. "But...I want you to listen. Let me share with you a little secret on how to win the heart of a prince. It's not easy, but you gotta be persistent. You might have to keep defeating a monster empress and warp through several different dimensions."

On the screen, her character took out the final key and stuck it into the lock of the final room. "But once you do, you walk up the hexed stairs and produce the magic key you got in the fire dimension. And then you unlock the chamber door." Her character entered the door's room.

"And then you walk straight to the prince."

In the room, Cake's character approached the dimension prince. He smiled at the sight of her, and the two embraced in a sparkling hug.

"And give 'im a smooch."

The character and the prince pulled apart. Their small, 8-Bit heads leaned in for a romantic kiss. _YOU WIN_ glowed on the screen as the credits began to roll.

Cake cheered in victory, then stopped when she realized Fionna could still hear her. She cleared her throat and asked, "Does that make sense?"

There were a few beats of silence before Fionna answered. _"Yeah. I see what you're saying. Thanks, Cupcake."_

"Sure thing."

* * *

><p>Fionna ended the call with a single click. As she stuffed her cellphone into her backpack, she looked over her shoulder. At the top of the tallest tower of the castle, she could see the pink form of the prince watching the golden sunset. She forced herself to stand, and slowly began to trek up the steps. "Walk up the hexed stairs..."<p>

TRIVIA

Prince Gumball does not require a specific type of candy flesh to revert to his real age, as he uses pieces from all different types of Candy People.

Originally, the Countess of Lemongrab was going to be my own character, the Countess of _Limesnatch_. However, I encountered 2 problems:

1: There was already a female counterpart of the Earl of Lemongrab, the one used above.

2: 'Limesnatch' is a name for Lemongrab's weird counterpart in Issue 5 of the AT comics.

CULTURAL REFERENCES

The prank machine is a form of Rube Goldberg machine; an overly-complex apparatus that performs a simple task.

This episode is the continuation of "Lethal Vice," thus completing the series' first 3-part story arc.

STORYLINE ANALYSIS

Actual age seems to not play a part in deciding who the rightful ruler of Candy Kingdom is. Lemongrab could not be over eighteen herself (since Prince Gumball created him), and she must be younger than him, even as his thirteen-year-old self, or he would have been five when he created her.

This episode shows that Prince Gumball's age is based on his mass, not the length of his life. If he was originally eighteen, changing what age he appeared to be wouldn't actually change the fact that he's eighteen. If age is based on mass in either all candy people or even in just the prince, it is possible that Lemongrab did become older than Prince Gumball.


	57. The Beast

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Lumpy Space Prince—is a gender-bender of LSP. Lumpy Space Prince is identical to Lumpy Space Princess only with a mustache and a darker shade of colors. He is most likely 15 years old.

THE BEAST

_Title Card_

_LSP screams as the coyotes close in on him, their razor teeth snarling and their eyes narrowed to slits._

Fionna, Cake and BMA were having one of their Lazy Days: a day when there was no adventuring to do and they just had to explore the Treehouse for something to do. Now, they were in outside to just relax and get their fresh air. Fionna had her back against the front door, with Cake's slightly smaller body on top of her head. BMA sat next to them as it played digital tunes through its speakers.

Fionna reached over and grabbed a wooden stick sitting in the grass. She pressed the tip of it against BMA's volume button. Fionna let a few beats of a new tune before she jumped in.

_"We're fa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Fionna and Cake."_

Cake jumped into it instantly.

_"We'll ma-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-makey-you make."_

They both began to harmonize together.

_"We'll make you cry!_

_Yo mama lies!"_

Fionna began to sing a solo.

_"Cake likes pies_

_I'm so fly_

_We're gonna stick a stick into you're eye_

_And you'll say, 'Why, why, why, why, why?'"_

Both:

_"Why, why, why, why, why?"_

Fionna picked Cake up from her head and stood up, walking away from the front door to face the forest.

_"Why, why, why, why, why?"_

Fionna faced the forest, took a very deep breath, and screamed as loud as she possibly could.

_**"PASTA!"**_

A large flock of birds erupted from the treetops in response. BMA clapped in applause.

"Miss! Miss Fionna!"

Fionna turned around with a frown as Cake stretched beside her. A Lumpy Space woman was flying right at them. She was small, with velvet Byzantium skin and wide black eyes. The crescent moon on her head marked her as a middle-classer. She held a straw basket in her hand with its contents covered in a towel. She stopped in front of the duo and held out a small computer module to them. "My misses, a message from their majesties."

A beam of bright green light lit up from the module. The beam split into a holographic square screen. The screen depicted the two conjoined faces of the queen and king of Lumpy Space. The queen looked like she had been crying, and they both held identical looks of worry.

"We can't find our son!" the king exclaimed.

"He's been gone for days!" added the queen. At this, she burst into tears. Her husband wrapped an arm around her awkwardly.

"Whoa, stop the water-works," Fionna waved her hands at the two. She smiled and put her hands on her hips. "We'll help you find your son. We'll find her using Cake's macho-moosles." Fionna leaned into Cake's ear and whispered, "Show off your moosles."

In response, Cake's furry chest exploded to the point that her muscles were strained against her skin. Fionna made a 'woo!' sound beside her.

"Thank you, girls," the queen sniffled with a smile. She turned to her husband at her side (literally.) "Don't worry, honey. These girls will find our son. No more tears." The queen turned back to the duo through the screen. "Please bring him these burritos we made. He loves them."

The messenger floated forward and held the basket out to the girls. Fionna took it and lifted up the towel just enough to see what was inside. Sure enough, she could see a large number of warm tortillas stuffed to overflowing with lobster meat, Jack cheese, mayonnaise, Cilantro leaves and seasoned beef, Cabo-San-Lucas style.

"Thank you, girls," the queen concluded.

* * *

><p>A half-hour later, the human and the feline were walking through the jungle. Cake was holding the basket out in front of her, doing her best no to tilt it too much. Fionna took in the various but small landmarks they passed: the heart in the oak tree, the rope dangling from a tree branch, and then the chipped bowl in the tree roots.<p>

"I know where Lumpy Space Prince is," Fionna told her sister, who was looking a bit unsure. "He's in the jungle eating sardines."

Cake nodded and smiled. "This is gonna be easy as...uh..." She hesitated into silence.

"Easy as child labor," Fionna offered.

"Uh...yeah..."

They finally came to the grassy slope and began to ease themselves down. Cake wound her free arm around Fionna's waist so she wouldn't fall. They finally slid down to the bottom with a stumble.

_Shuffle...shuffle...snap..._

Fionna and Cake stopped and turned their heads. They saw no forms in the foliage, big or small, but the crunching and snapping continued. Fionna exchanged a confused look with Cake which quickly turned to worry when the crunching turned to rustling.

And then a small hand brushed against Cake's paw.

Cake yelped and span around, with Fionna quickly doing the same. They looked down and saw the burrow at their feet, with the form of a creature inside. It was small, probably no bigger than the length from the sole of Fionna's foot to her calf. Its head was round and small and it had round black eyes against pale green skin. It wore a torn, patched blue shirt and a threadbare brown skirt. A tiny shoe was on her left foot. The other was in her hand. Her form was partially hidden by the small roots and dirt clods of the burrow.

When it realized that it had the girls' attention, the creature pulled itself out of the burrow. It looked up at the two with big eyes with tiny eyelashes. Fionna guessed it was a girl.

"Please help me," The creature whimpered in a feminine voice, confirming Fionna's suspicions.

"What's wrong?" asked Fionna.

The little woman held her shoe protectively. "A beast is terrorizing our village and has eaten all our crops!"

Fionna gave her and the tree crook quizzical looks. "Why were you up in that tree?"

"I thought I saw food...And I was hiding from the beast..." The little woman gave out a painful grump and stumbled. Fionna held out her hand for the woman to handle herself. Fionna knew she was having hunger pains, and judging by her state, pretty bad ones. The little woman whimpered to Fionna, "You must help."

As if to prove her starvation, the little woman bit off a big chunk of her shoe's toe and chewed vigorously. Cake turned to Fionna worriedly. "Whattya think?"

"I guess we can help her real quick," answered Fionna. "Then we can get back to LSP."

Cake nodded and knelt down to the little villager woman. "Where's your village?"

"Uh...I don't remember," the Villager muttered. "But Hayden remembers."

Something rustled in the bushes, and a moment later, another Villager fell out from its leaves. Her skin was minty compared to her friend's, but she had the same bald head and black eyes. Her clothes consisted of a tattered violet shirt and a choppy brown skirt. She had no shoes whatsoever. "Oh, hey! It's Hayden!"

Fionna and Cake followed the Villager as she shuffled over to her friend. "Hayden! Do you remember where the village is?"

Hayden picked herself up to her feet and smiled. "Yeah, I marked it on the map. But..."

"...You don't have the map?" Fionna guessed. Hayden's look confirmed her suspicion.

"Who has it?" asked Cake.

_Splash_

The four of them turned around. Another Villager was climbing out of the little stream behind them. This one seemed to be a man, with a pink shirt and purple pants. He smiled at the duo and took a piece of parchment from his shirt collar. The parchment was covered in little images of trees, rivers, and the little blot of the village. "I have it!"

Hayden waddled over, looked over the map, and frowned. "This is only half."

Of course, another Villager fell from the trees and took out the other half of the map. Hayden smiled at the two sisters. "Well, we can go now."

"Not yet," the third Villager spoke up. At that moment, a little Villager child the size of Fionna's thumb fell down in front of them from the tree branches. The Villagers "awwed" simultaneously.

Then another child the size of a golf ball fell down on top of the first.

And a third one the size of Fionna's thumbnail fell down on that one.

"OK, now we're ready," Hayden confirmed.

The first Villager woman seemed to notice the basket in Cake's paws just then. She stepped forward to look at it closer, and stood on the tips of her toes to try and look inside. "What's in the basket?"

"Burritoos." replied Cake.

"FOOD!"

The Villagers went nuts. They trampled over each others' bodies, pushing and pulling others out of their way. "Food! Food!" They nearly tackled Cake, and the feline held the basket as high as she possibly could.

"You can't eat this food!" Fionna yelled at them over their cries. "It's not ours to give!"

Fionna felt a pang of guilt when the Villagers sighed and moaned in disappointment. Even more so when the smallest child squeaked, "You guys are mean" at her.

"No, we'll help!" Fionna assured them. "We'll help you!

"By giving us food?"

_Geez, these guys are hungry,_ Fionna thought to herself as she gave the spoken Villager an austere glare. "No, I've told you."

The Villagers scoffed and crossed their arms over their tiny chests.

"Now. Show us the way to your village."

The fourth Villager waddled up to Fionna. "Too tired from hunger." He held up his arms in a child-like manner. "Carry me?"

"OK," Fionna knelt down and gently lifted the small Villager into the crook of her arm.

"Me too!" Hayden shuffled over to Fionna and also lifted her arms. "Carry me too! I'm too tired to walk."

Fionna realized what she was going to have to do and knelt down, opening her free arms wide enough so that they knew it was an open invitation. Hayden and the two other villagers climbed onto her, Hayden on her left shoulder and the other two in the crook of her other arm and other shoulder. Fionna stood and turned to Cake. "Take the little ones."

Cake nodded, curling her right arm around the basket securely and forming the left one in the shape of a small bowl. The children scrambled into it and Cake turned to Fionna. "Ready?"

"Ready."

* * *

><p>"The beast lives in the lighthouse. We're too scared to go near it."<p>

Fionna looked up at the lighthouse that the first Villager was pointing at. It stretched sixty feet into the sky, wider at the base and skinnier at the top. It was painted a deep blue color, with bricks surrounding the circular windows. It was gargantuan compared to the rest of the town. Fionna felt like she was walking through a toy village. The largest house went up to her shoulders, the smallest barely reaching her calf. She could see the fearful eyes and dashing figures of the Villagers who had stayed behind.

"We got this," Fionna and Cake set the Villagers down carefully. They all ducked behind a nearby fallen carriage, holding the children close. "Wait here."

With that, the two of them marched up the road to the lighthouse. Fionna took out a rusty dagger from her backpack as Cake swelled up her paws into large fists. They had considered leaving the basket behind with the villagers, but immediately opted out of it, knowing they would eat the burritos for sure. Now the basket hung from the crook of Cake's elbow.

"Be alert," Fionna whispered to her sister once they came to the wooden door of the lighthouse. "Anything could pop out and rip our limbs off."

"Alert," Cake assured. She popped out her muscles in extra emphasis.

With that, they pushed open the door.

The thin shaft of light from the open door gave them a brief view of their surroundings. The room was full of wooden and cardboard boxes, some covered in dusty tarps. The walls were brick and the floors were cement. Fionna and Cake cautiously crept inside and caught sight of the tarp against the far wall. It was moving up and down from something big and lumpy sleeping underneath it. Fionna gripped her dagger and crept forward.

"Be careful, Fifi," warned Cake. She followed her sister a couple of feet behind.

Fionna tore off the tarp.

She expected a loud roar to rock her backwards. She expected razor sharp teeth and huge, angry eyes. She expected long, sharp claws and matted fur. She even expected the blinding pain of those razor sharp teeth clamping down into her skin.

...Instead, she was greeting with the shocked face of the Lumpy Space Prince himself. "Oh my glood!"

Fionna yelped and jumped back, her dagger clattering to the floor. Then, she sighed in relief with an awkward laugh. "It's you!"

"Fionna?! What the junk?!" LSP floated into the air and glared at his human friend. "You were trying to shank me!"

"It's yoooooooou~!" Cake sang. She stretched over and handed out the woven basket to the royal. "We brought this basket of burritos for you."

"Aw, man! Burritos!" LSP's lumpy face burst into a smile as he snatched the basket from Cake's paws. He tore the towel away and tossed it behind him.

"LSP, what the schmeck are you doin' here?" asked Cake.

Fionna gave her friend a teasing smile. "Are you in here makin' out with the beast?"

LSP was so consumed in his second burrito that it seemed for a moment that he didn't hear her. "Oh!" he swallowed down the last of the burrito. "No...I'm the beast."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat."

LSP sighed and let his arm drop to his lumpy side. "'S a long story."

Immediately, the three of them pulled a few of the crates over for seats and sat down. Cake sat criss-cross-apple-sauce as Fionna sat with her legs crossed. LSP began his tale as he hovered above his own crate.

"It all started in Lumpy Space..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>At my lumpin' parents' house. I was eating lumpin' burritos. <strong>_

_LSP sat in the living room of his parents' mansion, seated in the lumpy purple recliner. His velvety skin was covered in little bits of beef, Cilantro leaves and tortilla wrap. His lips and teeth smacked loudly as he bit down on another wrap. On the lumpy stand next to the recliner, a half-full bottle of bubbly soda stood next to a wad of dirty napkins._

_The king and queen approached their son with happy, smiling faces. It had been a good month ever since their son moved out. After another scolding, he had stormed out to live independently. In the jungle, no less. Now, they had invited him back for a still-hidden proposition._

_"Son?"_

_"Yeah, Mom?" LSP asked before taking along chug of soda._

_"How are the brrutos?" his Dad asked._

_"They're lumpin' delicious."_

_"You know, you could enjoy your father's burritos every day," his mother spoke. "If you come back more often..."_

_"Nah," LSP responded, causing his parents to frown. He finished off the burrito in his hand and continued, "You can have them delivered to my trailer."_

_The king smiled down at his son kindly as he took his wife's hand. "Son, we want you to move back in."_

_LSP's eyes went wide for a long moment, his jaw stopping mid-chew and his soda bottle in his hand._

_"WHAT?!"_

LSP floated straight up from his seat, his burritos flying everywhere and his soda bottle shattering against the floor with a splash. His parents jumped back instinctively. "YOU INVITED ME HERE UNDER FALSE PRETENSES!"

_As LSP began to float away, his parents followed quickly, pleading and begging. "Sweetie, wait!" "We didn't mean anything!" "We just want you to be happy!"_

_"I'm leaving!" LSP yelled over his shoulder. He slammed the lumpy door shut behind him as he stormed out of his home._

_**I stormed out and left Lumpy Space forever!**_

* * *

><p>"Ohhh," Cake droned once LSP supposedly finished his story. "And then you found the lighthouse!"<p>

"No, something else happened first," LSP muffled through a mouthful of burrito. "Keep listening. Before the lighthouse, I was in the jungle."

* * *

><p><em><strong>I was cold and hungry...<strong>_

_LSP slowly floated through the damp, dark jungle. He jumped at the slightest sound, the crunch of a twig or the sound of a leaf brushing against a blade of grass. The shadows seemed to dance and the plants looked like they had minds of their owns. Occasional droplets of water hit his velvety skin, chilling him to the lumpin' bone. The rumble of his own stomach almost deafened him. Fatigue was taking him over, the hunger pains making him grunt and squirm. _

_He had read once in a Teddy Raoste book that some plants' leaves provide nutrient and vitamins if you ate it. One plants' leaves were particularly good, not only in nutrient and vitamin E but it also tasted good. The leaves of the plant was round, dark green in color, and had bright neon veins speckled with white. _

Just like that one,_ LSP thought to himself when his eyes landed on the thorny planet a few feet away. He almost got whiplash flying over to it. He tore off one of the leaves and shoved it into his mouth._

_Wrong plant._

_Definitely wrong plant._

_LSP vomited the horrible leaf up in a splash of color. He shivered to himself, wiping the remnants from his mouth, although nothing could be done for the taste._

_Rrrrrurrrmmmble..._

_"Oh, glod," LSP groaned once the icy droplets of rain came pouring down. He had no jacket, no blanket, no umbrella, no nothin' to protect him from the stupid precipitation. His skin was soaked in a matter of seconds._

Maybe I can make a shelter out of some sticks or something_', LSP thought. As quick as he could, he gathered as many long sticks and twigs as fast as he could and began to form them together into a sort of crude teepee. He carefully wedged himself into it and tried to make the best of it. Well, he had shelter. And it kept most of the rain away. He didn't feel hungry after eating that stupid leaf, but his mouth was sticky and slick with that disgusting taste. Maybe he could collect water in the morning?_

_The teepee caved in on him. LSP heaved himself onto his back pathetically. The icy pellets of rain soaked through his skins into the cores of his bones._

_"It's not fair..." he whispered to himself. He was tired. So tired. So exhausted. "It's not fair..."_

_He fainted then._

_He laid there, unconcious, the water puddling under his body and his breaths becoming quieter and quieter. His body temperature was dropping by the second. About thirty feet away, twenty feet into the air, a single gray cayote appeared at the dge of a rocky cliff. It saw the sight of the odd purple teenager below and howled loudly. Two other cayotes, one gray and one brown, immediately appeared. The first coyote lead them down the cliff down to LSP's fallen body. They sniffed at his body, whining in confusion at his odd Lumpy-Space smell._

_A low whine interrupted their commotion. The Omega of the pack approached, towering over the others by ten feet with fur the color of the midnight sky. He didn't even stop to sniff the lumpy teenager in the grass. He just gingerly picked him up in his jaws and carried him away. The others follows suit._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I was rescued by a family of coyotes...<strong>_

_LSP groaned in his awakening sleep. How long had he been asleep, anyway? The grass was so soft and dry now. Very soft and dry. In fact, it didn't even feel like grass anymore. It was more like fur. It smelled different, too. Not like the dewey, musty smell of the jungle, this smell was animal-like with a sort of hint of pine. When he opened his eyes, he screamed._

_The coyotes paid the sudden movement and sound no mind as they stood in their circle around them. The Omega stood over her, the equally as huge Alpha now at her side._

_**The father coyote was all like,**_

_**"We must take care of him as if he were our own."**_

_**And then the mom was like,**_

_**"We must take care of him because he's awesome now and he's probably going to be totally more awesome when he grows up."**_

* * *

><p><em>"Oh, so they were talking coyotes?" asked a very confused but interested Fionna.<em>

_"No, they were normal coyotes. I could tell what they were thinking from their body language. Stop interrupting! Back to the story. Finally, I found a home there..."_

* * *

><p><em>1 Day After LSP's Arrival<em>

_LSP laughed uncontrollably as the coyotes licked and nibbled at his skin. He had just met them, and they were already treating him like one of their own._

_**I could act like myself...**_

_Once the coyotes were done licking and nibbling him, they had invited LSP for a sprint through the country, maybe find a rabbit or two. Their search ended up being futile, but it was nice to see where he would be saying. He couldn't count how many acres they had to hunt in, and the land was packed full of burrows and nests where future meals would live. The coyotes yipped and yapped and he did, too._

_**They took care of me, man...**_

_That evening, as LSP was waiting for the coyotes to return from hunting, he saw their dark-colored forms approaching from the bottom of the hill. They had snowy white lumps in their mouths and LSP realized on closer inspection that they had found a rabbit burrow somewhere. He had expected them to bring the rabbits into the cave, but to his surprise, they approached him and dropped the rabbits in front of him._

_When midnight came, the coyotes began to file out of the cave and gestured with their muzzles for him to follow. He did so, and after a few minutes of wandering through the darkness of the jungle, they came to the edge of the cliff where they had found him that morning. The coyotes reeled their heads back and howled up at the bright full moon above. LSP didn't even hesitate for a beat before he did so as well._

_LSP spent a week with those coyotes. The ever-changing weather brought forth new meals every day. Heavy rains made the rivers overflow and made catching fish easier. Sunny weather beckoned squirrels and rabbits out of their homes. When animals were scarce, they went deep into the jungle to collect apples and vegetables. LSP had never been happier._

_**But then the drama-crud started...**_

_It had been eleven days since LSP joined the pack. He had become particularly close friends with Stephan and Stu, the two youngest males of the pack, and he commonly hung out with them between hunting rounds, as well as eating with them and huddling together with them when it was time to sleep. Now, LSP had just excused himself from their lounge-time to see if there was any deer meet left over. _

_When he walked in their, he wished he hadn't. Jesse was licking at the fur on Markay's back, which translated to "making out" to LSP. Everyone in the pack knew that Jesse was Toni's steady boyfriend of several months._

_LSP almost immediately flew outside back to Stephan and Stu. Stephan had curled together into a sleeping position and Stu was just panting through his mouth. "Stephan? Stu? I gotta tell you guys something."_

_Stephan snorted. Stu just panted._

_"Yeah, I trust you guys. Listen," LSP floated closer for extra caution. "I just saw Jesse making out with Markay behind Toni's back. I mean, I know I shouldn't care, but Toni's a great gal and I don't want to see her getting hurt, y'know?"_

_Snort. Pant._

_"Stephan, c'mon man, are you even listening? I don't want Toni seeing them together, and she'll be back from hunting any second no-"_

_Almost immediately, a low, steady howl droned from the hillside. LSP jumped as he, Stephan, and Stu turned around. Two of the other coyotes in the pack were climbing up the hillside, limp raccoons dangling from their jaws. A moment later, the rest of the hunting pack appeared up the hill lugging a bulky cow carcass with them. LSP could see Toni in the pack, pulling on the cow's thigh._

_"Hey, Toni!" LSP yelled. The female coyote grunted in greeting._

_LSP leaned down closer to Stephan and Stu. "What should we-"_

_Before he could finish, Stephan and Stu had turned and began heading for the cave where the cow had been dragged. LSP hesitated before following. By the time he had arrived, the entire pack was gobbling down on the carcass like it was no tomorrow. The constant sound of meat tearing and lips smacking had grown common to him. Once one of the male coyotes (who's name LSP forgot) moved away, apparently not having much of an appetite today, LSP moved forward to stand between Stephan and Stu. "Seriously, guys. Should we tell Toni?"_

_Neither Stephan nor Stu responded. They were too absorbed in filling their stomachs with the carcass meat. LSP grunted in frustration._

_A few minutes later, when the carcass was nothing more than fur and bones, the coyotes scattered around the cave and laid down for their afternoon naps. Some who weren't tired gnawed on leftover bones. LSP watched Stephan and Stu curl up to the left wall of the cave, Stu still munching on a rib. "Fine! Guess I'll just wait for my bros to figure something out."_

_He stood there. And stood there. Aaaaand stood there._

_He couldn't take it anymore. His hands curled into fists at his sides as he yelled, "TONI! JESSE'S CHEATING ON YOU!"_

_The reaction was almost instant. One by one, the coyotes of the pack lifted up their heads, chuffing and growling as they unwound themselves and dropped their bones. LSP soon found himself surrounded by them. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I-I know it's none of my business, but-"  
><em>

_Stephan howled loudly, cutting LSP off. LSP glared at his friend. "Because I think Toni has the right to know, Stephan!"_

_Another coyote chuffed. LSP turned to face him. "No way, Randy! I don't like Toni!"_

_LSP felt something wet at his side. He looked down to see Jesse himself nibbling at his hip. LSP immediately slapped the male coyote across his muzzle. "KNOCK IT OFF, JESSE!"_

_LSP's scream of anger immediately turned to one of fear. All at once, all members of the pack, even Stephan and Stu, pounced on him. They clawed and bit at his lumpy skin, leaves angry read scratches and marks everywhere. They were pulling him down and he couldn't float away. He clawed at the dirt of the cave and desperately tried to crawl away. He managed to break free after moments of desperation._

_He flew out of that cave as fast as he could. The afternoon sun hit his wounds and made them sting. He could already hear the coyotes following him, growling and snarling. They came closer and closer to him, to where he could see them from the corner of his eye._

_That's when he slipped. Well, not really slipped, but the earth disappeared beneath his gravity field and he was soon tumbling down a slope. The former night's rain had made the dirt slick and muddy. It stained his skin and filled his mouth and eyes. Twigs snapped from their roots and embedded themselves in his limbs. He finally managed to land in a puddle of dirty water about twenty feet below._

_"Glob, man," he choked out as he spat up the mud in his mouth. He reluctantly looked up to the top of the cliff again. The coyotes howled down at him in an obvious manner that said "Get outta here!"_

_So, LSP did. For hours and hours, he floated through the thick, unforgiving jungle. His hunger was killing him, and his dehydration didn't help. The mud was getting dry, creating an uncomfortable scratchy coat on his skin. He was so tired and exhausted but he didn't dare stop for a second for fear that the coyotes were still following him._

_**Per chance, I came upon a tribe of villagers...**_

_The male Villager plucked off another one of the small baby tomatoes and set it on top of the now-full basket. He whistled, and another Villager approached and handed him an empty basket in exchange for the full one. He hauled the basket into the horseless carriage and began pulling it forward. He only made if twenty feet before he heard a rustle in the bushes._

_He stopped, and held his breath._

_The bushes rustled again._

_He remained silent._

_The bushes rustled again._

_A cold sweat ran down his temple._

_The bushes rustled again._

_And then, a small toad hopped out of the bushes and jumped across his path._

_The Villager sighed in relief and picked up the carriage once more._

_"Aeuhh_..."

_The Villager screamed at the sight of the beast in front of him. It was floating above the very ground, its form nothing but a lumpy_ _mass. Its purple fur was stained with drying mud and broken twigs. It reached out to him, groaning in hunger._

_"BEAST!" The Villager cried. He dropped the carriage and ran as fast as he could down the path._

_LSP glared after him. "I'm not a beast, ya loon!" he yelled after him with a shaking fist. "I'm a-"_

_That's when he saw the fallen basket of tomatoes in the grass. Small tomatoes, but bright in color and round and plump. He could just imagine biting into one._

_So that's what he did. "I'm so hungry," he moaned as he stuffed his mouth with several of the small tomatoes. They were SO good. Too good. He had to have more. He at three more, then five, then six._

_When he looked up, he saw the crop garden in the distance. They had just been tended to. Even from seventy feet away, he could see the water beaded on the crops' leaves. their colors bright and translucent. He dashed forward as fast as he could until he was standing in the middle of the garden. He grabbed two handfuls of spinach, not bothering to think about parasites or pesticides, and stuffed them into his mouth, chucking the dirty roots away. _

_"BEAST!"_

_LSP looked up just in time to see another Villager running away, disappearing over the hill he had been standing on. He had been lugging a carriage full of large, plump, juicy peaches that practically screamed at him to come closer. He chucked the last bit of dirty roots over his shoulder and flew to the carriage. He picked up the entire thing by its handles (not very hard, considering its toy-like size) and poured the peaches down his throat. Most of them hit his face and body before falling to the grass, but he simply swallowed the ones in his mouth and picked them up. _

_He saw the village, then. Only a hundred yards away. He tried to count the houses. One, seven, twelve, twenty-one, and then he just stopped. So many houses, so many farmers, so many crops of FOOD. He couldn't resist himself. He descended down the hill and approached the village._

_He almost didn't acknowledge the fact that every single Villager in the street screamed at the sight of him and ran into their homes. He flew to the window of the first house and looked inside. His mouth instantly began watering. A big, fat ham was smack in the middle of the small wooden table. He lifted the ham up by its bone and tore off a large chunk of it with his teeth._

* * *

><p>"Anyway, I found this lighthouse after that," LSP concluded. He dug back into his basket for another burrito, adding, "Whenever I get hungry, I dress myself up like the beast and eat all their food."<p>

"LSP!"

"What?"

"You're stealing!" Fionna cried with a fling of her arms.

Cake gave a single nod beside her. "From adorable little farmers."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? STARVE AWAY IN HERE?!" LSP yelled in a rage. He stood up from his seat quickly, the basket in his lap falling to the floor. The burritos rolled out onto the cement.

Fionna and Cake paused for a moment before kneeling down and picking up the fallen pieces of food, putting them back in the basket, and handing it back to their friend.

LSP took a deep breath and took the basket with a nod. "Thanks." He looked into the basket's contents and sighed. He was obviously remembered the heated argument he had had with his parents.

"LSP," Fionna began cautiously. "If you wanna feel better, you should apologize to the farmers and make amends."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it'll work," agreed Cake.

LSP sighed before nodding.

* * *

><p>LSP cautiously poked his head out of the crack in the door, checking for any traps that might have been awaiting him. Once he saw that the coast was clear, he slowly floated through the door with his basket in hand and made his way to the village.<p>

Needless to say, his presence did not go unnoticed. At once, a young male cried, "BEAST!" Several other Villagers mimicked this cry almost exactly. Even from far away in the crop fields, LSP could hear the word being yelled in fear.

"No, wait!" he tried to insist, but the cries of terror never stopped. The women of the village picked up their children and hurried inside to hide. Other women and men grabbed any weapons within reach and ran at LSP, trembling in fear and anger.

"I'M NOT A BEAST!" LSP yelled just as Fionna and Cake dashed up between the prince and the angry mob. LSP saw the stern look Fionna was throwing at him and took a deep breath. "I was just pretending to be a beast." Silence. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pretended to be a beast. And I'm sorry I scared you guys. And I'm sorry you're starving because I ate all of your food. Even though you're all still pretty fat and I probably helped you lose some weight. And now your peasant wives probably think you're hotter, so that's another favor."

The walla of angry exclamations was instant. Women threw their hands into the air, exclaiming, "What did she call us?" The men raised their weapons in anger. "Did you just call us fat?!" Others just looked down at their round bellies with crestfallen faces.

"Don't get your scraps in a twist, I'm just being honest!" scoffed LSP.

"LSP!"

"What?"

LSP turned around to see yet another of Fionna's angry-stern faces. He shrugged, and repeated, "What?"

"That apology was terrible!" Fionna's hands flew up to the sides of her head in her anger.

LSP didn't answer. Slowly, he lifted another burrito from the basket and stuffed it into his mouth in one bite.

"Look!" a pitchfork-yielding Villager pointed a furious finger at LSP. "The beast eats whilst it apologizes!"

"Let's kill him!" a female Villager cried. An uproar of agreement followed, and sharp weapons stabbed at the air above the crowd.

The mob charged forward with their weapons held high. LSP let out a yelp before taking off like a bullet for the woods. The Villagers, though small, followed with the speed of a school of piranhas. Fionna and Cake exchanged a very brief look of alarm before they chased after the group.

The chase went on for a good ten minutes. LSP ran in front, gasping in fear and fatigue as he flew over all obstacles in his path. He held onto the basket like a life preserver. The Villager-mob ran in the middle, roaring and yelling out exclamations of fury to the 'beast,' making a swipe at him whenever he ventured too close to them. Fionna and Cake ran seven feet behind the mob, their pleads of them to stop and wait futile.

LSP looked ahead of him, and his stomach clenched horribly. A humongous, flat-walled cliff was right in front of him. It towered over him by seventy feet, casting a dark shadow over his entire being. He tried to force himself to float along the cliff's wall, but the gravity field around him wouldn't allow it in the slightest. He span around in fright, seeing nothing but the furious mob charging forward like a crowd of death.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

To LSP's surprise, the Villagers actually stopped. They must have had a lot of stamina in their tiny bodies, because not a single one of them panted a breath. "We have to!" a female Villager in the front cried.

Fionna and Cake finally caught up with the group. Cake knelt beside the mob as Fionna leaned down, panting out, "You don't have to."

"Yeah," Cake agreed with a deep breath. "You could just let him go."

"If we let him go, he'll keep eating our food!" a male Villager cried with a raise of his hands. "And we'll starve to death!"

LSP, frustrated and angered beyond comprehension, just yelled, "Why don't you just get your parents to get you more food?!"

The Villagers gave him several disbelieving gawks that quickly turned to angered annoyance. "WE _ARE_ PARENTS!" a female cried. Fionna and Cake didn't know where they came from, but several tiny Villager children waddled up to their parents, hiding behind them in protection. "THE FOOD YOU ATE WAS FOR OUR CHILDREN!"

LSP just stared down at the Villager and their children for several, long, silent moments. "You guys are parents?" he said in disbelief. In barely a whisper, he remarked, "Just like my parents..." and looked down at the basket of burritos in his hands.

As he stared down at the wrapped tortillas (there were about a dozen now), he saw the small slip of paper poking out from the tossed-aside towel. He picked it up and read it to himself.

_Made with love!_

_~Mom and Dad_

LSP had never really been one to cry. There have been rumors saying that he sat through a marathon of _Brobdingnagian, The Journal, _and_ Marcy & Me _with his eyes not watering for a split second. He even endured enough pain to make a grown man cry and he had just scoffed. But now, as he stared down at the lumpy handwriting of his parents, his eyes began to tear up.

Fionna saw the tears in her friends' glittering black eyes and asked, cautiously, "LSP, are you OK?"

LSP furiously swiped away the tears, almost scratching his eyeballs. "I'm fine, Fionna." He cautiously, slowly floated to the Villagers and handed them the basket. "Here. I want you to have these burritos."

"Burritos?" a male questioned, but he was already digging into the basket along with the other Villagers. One by one, burritos were passed around to the children and their parents. They gobbled them up like animals.

"They're really good," LSP commented. The Villagers nodded and hummed in agreement. "My parents made them."

"Good job, LSP," Fionna gave her friend a light slap on the back. Cake gave the prince a thumbs-up.

"I SAVED THE VILLAGE!" LSP whooped with a fist pumping the air.

Fionna frowned. "That's not really-"

* * *

><p>"-and that's how I saved the village!" LSP finished, and stuffed the last bite of burrito into his mouth like an exclamation point. He, his parents, and the two heroines were now standing just outside the Lumpy Space Royal Mansion. Fionna's smile was fixed on her face and Cake was very interested in seeing how many shapes she could make with her paws.<p>

But the king and queen never looked happier. After a long moment of cheerful applause, the queen smiled and sighed, "Well, we're just glad you're home."

As if he had to maintain his careless attitude, LSP just grunted, "Whatever."

"And thank you both, Fionna and Cake," the queen added with a wide smile at the two girls.

"No problem," Fionna smiled in return.

Cake chuckled. "Yeah, we didn't really do that much."

TRIVIA

This is the first episode that mainly focuses on Lumpy Space Prince.

Despite the fact that what Lumpy Space Prince ate was tree bark, he threw up in various colors which looked similar to a rainbow.


	58. Frozen

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Gunta-The Ice Queen's closest sea lion, and her personal servant. Gunta has big, sparkling eyes, two rather small tusks, and leathery white skin with faint blue spots.

* * *

><p>STILL<p>

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake stand amongst the fields of grass, as silent and as still as statues..._

The sunlight streamed into the dusty windows of the Treehouse's bedroom, casting shadows on the faces of our famous heroines. Fionna lay on her animal-skin bed, her hands behind her head, one leg bent upward, and the blankets bundled at her feet. Cake lay with her paws clutching her blanket up to her chin, her legs draped over the side of the drawer she slept in.

Fionna's eyes fluttered open in the new light. The first word that came out of her mouth for the day was, "Cupcake!" and then, "Hey, Cupcake!"

It took a moment for Cake's eyes to open. She gave her sister a smile before her eyebrows quirked together. With a chuckle, she asked, "Why are you sleepin' like that?"

Fionna returned the smile. "Why are _you_ starin'?"

"Because I can't move my head," giggled Cake.

The two laughed heartily, their bodies not moving with the sounds.

The laughter ended abruptly when Cake frowned and said, "Seriously. I can't move."

"Neither can I!" exclaimed Fionna.

The two girls tried and tried, but it was as if their bodies were locked tight, not allowing even the slightest strain of a muscle.

"What's going on?" a panicked Cake asked.

This question ensued a panicked walla of exclamations that filled the entire room. "What's happening?" "I'm scared, Fifi!" "I don't like this!" "My nose itches and I can't scratch it!"

The walla was cut off by the next sound that broke through the air. It was a horrible sound, a high-pitched, raspy, cracked sound that sounded as horrible as screeching tires on a road.

"Cupcake!" whispered Fionna. "Use your listen-vision!"

Cake did so. She listened as hard as she possibly could. Then she heard breathing. Not Fionna's warm, hard breathing. This breathing was deathly slow and icy cold.

Cake would have jumped if she could've moved. "Ice Queen?!"

The icy royal appeared from the ladder-chute with an excited skip in her step. She giggled, her bony fingers clutched together and her eyes squeezed shut. After several long moments of raspy giggling, she sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing. I'll do the opposite! What's the opposite? Crying?" She let a few frozen tears leak from her eyes before she sighed again. "This is so weird."

"Ice Queen, what did you do to us?!" Fionna demanded.

"Whoa, whoa," Ice Queen waved her hands at the angry teenager. "I didn't _do_ anything to you. Girls, I'm your friend."

"So why can't we move?" Cake asked exasperatedly.

"Because I froze you." Ice Queen dug into the folds of her blue gown and pulled out a bottle. It was clear, with a clear, pulpy liquid swishing around inside. "With this."

Fionna read the sloppily-written label aloud. "'Still Serum 1'?"

"I sprayed it into your nostrils when you were sleeping," explained the Ice Queen.

"Morp!"

Gunta, Ice Queen's pet seal, flopped up and down on the wooden floorboards, his flippers flapping for the serum. Ice Queen raised the bottle higher and held out a hand to the seal. Gunta pushed against it with his head. "No, Gunta. No!" Ice Queen looked up at the girls and explained, "Gunta likes to break bottles. Don't you, Gunta?" Ice Queen picked up the hem of her gown-Fionna and Cake looked away as much as they could-and tucked the serum into her bloomers. Gunta reached underneath the skirt for it, but Ice Queen swatted him away. She lifted up her head to look at the frozen girls. "Let's go to the living room, hm?"

* * *

><p>Five minutes later saw both the girls and the feline tucked under Ice Queen's arms like baskets, descending into the living room. If Ice Queen had attempted this while they were unfrozen, she'd be punched halfway across Aaa by then. Ice Queen nestled Cake in the crook of the maroon couch before laying Fionna down next to her. Fionna and Cake managed to pull their faces into glares of anger.<p>

"Why in the hecka are you doin' this, Ice Queen?" asked a very annoyed Cake.

"'Why?'" Ice Queen repeated in surprise, like she had never heard the word before. She smiled an outrageously huge smile, and proclaimed, "Because I love you girls! But _you_-" She pointed a long, crooked finger at them. "-don't love _me_." She then pointed the finger at herself. "Do ya?"

Fionna and Cake gave the Ice Queen blank stares for a long time before Cake said, "You've tried to kill us, like, four times."

Ice Queen's persona of kind and bubbly turned to angry and cold faster than a traffic light. She raised her hands angrily, her knuckles sparking with ice-cold power. "I only try to kill you because you're prince-blocking me all the time!" She took a deep breath and let her hands drop to her sides, where they picked at the material of her skirt. "I'm like a mama bear. And a prince is like my cub, and when you get between_ me and my cub_...I..." Ice Queen took a longer, deeper breath that came out in a puff of white air.

There was an awkward, heavy silence as Fionna and Cake only stared at the queen in silence. Ice Queen cleared her throat and smiled. "Any-who, now that you're frozen, we can bond and stuff. And the sooner we doooo..." Ice Queen reached under her skirt and took out another bottle, almost identical to the previous. "The sooner I give you _this_."

Fionna and Cake struggled to read the scrawl on the label: _**UN**_-STILL SERUM 1.

"I put emphasis on the 'UN' so I wouldn't mix them up," Ice Queen said as she gave the serum a swishing shake.

"Just give us the un-serum now, girl," scoffed Cake.

"Yeah, we're already friends," agreed Fionna.

"We are?" Ice Queen asked confusedly.

"Yeah. We love you," Fionna said, as hard as it was.

"What's my favorite color."

Fionna and Cake's jaws slammed shut at that question.

Ice Queen frowned at them. "You don't love me."

Fionna and Cake exchanged nervous glances.

"I know a lot about you girls. Cake, you don't drink orange juice with pulp because it gets stuck your teeth."

Cake gawked. "Wha-"

"Fionna, your favorite food is roast beef, even though you told Marshall Lee it was pasta."

"How did you-" gaped Fionna.

"And Cake, you don't like to cry because you're afraid of true emotion. It's OK. Let it out."

At this, a single tear fell down Cake's cheek.

"You don't love me," Ice Queen continued as she clutched the un-serum close.

Her speech was cut short when Gunta popped out of nowhere and slapped the bottle out of Ice Queen's hands. Ice Queen's hand jumped back and forth, the bottle bouncing off of her palms over and over, and the girls' breaths hitched. Ice Queen finally caught the bottle, much to Gunta's disappointment. Ice Queen glared down at the little seal. "Bad seal."

In answer, Gunta's flipper reached for the bottle once again.

Ice Queen sighed and walked over to one of the wooden shelves on the wall. She took out out the STILL SERUM out of her bloomers and put it and the _**UN-**_STILL SERUM on the shelf. She took a tiny key from her bloomers as well, and twisted it into the equally-as-tiny locks on the bottles (that the girls just now noticed). "Now Gunta won't accidentally break the only bottles of 'STILL' AND '_**UN**_-STILL' serums 1 in all of Aaa!"

Fionna would have raised an eyebrow if she could. "You _lock _your bottles?"

Ice Queen scoffed, "In THIS economy?" as she tucked the key back into her bloomers.

Fionna groaned to Cake, "She's showing her undergarments again."

Ice Queen heard her and gave out an amused chuckle. "Safest place I know."

A very awkward pause followed.

Ice Queen gave the girls a stiff curtsy and, with a swish of her skirts, strode in the direction of the kitchen. "I'mma gonna make so limeade."

"DON'T TOUCH MY LIMES!" Cake yelled after her. It was to no avail. She could hear Ice Queen picking the limes from the fruit bowl. "ICE QUEEN!"

"Cupcake, look!" Fionna snapped. Cake struggled to look to her right.

Gunta as clumsily climbing up the boxes and cabinet underneath the shelf, morping excitedly and rattling the bottles. The little seal's flippers landed on the shelf.

"Gunta, no!"

"No, Gunta!"

"No!"

"Stop!"

"Please stop!"

Gunta waddled over to the bottles and gave them a shining stare full of mirth before he rattled them with his flippers. He continued to do that, either to tease the frozen girls or for his own pleasure.

"GUNTA, STOP!"

"BAD SEAL! YOU STOP IT, NOW!"

Gunta only paused before returning to the bottles, swatting them over and over with his trembling flippers. The bottles began to sway, then spin in circles, tittering towards the edge of the shelf.

"What are we gonna do?" Cake hissed through gritted teeth.

Fionna's face turned to one of angry panic to inner, deep thought. In a perfect monotonous voice, she said, "When someone uses one sense, their other senses are enhanced. Like a blind woman who can smell and hear really well. I'm gonna use my now-enhanced brain waves to contact an astral creature to help us."

"WHAT?!" was Cake's only reply. "Fifi-"

Cake's voice drowned out as Fionna squeezed her eyes tight and concentrated. Concentrated and concentrated almost painfully. Her very teeth were trembling.

Then, she felt it. The astral sensation on her skin, like golden snowflakes falling rapidly. And she felt light. So light. Like a thin feather. Her intestines seemed to vanished, leaving her body hollow only for a second before they were filled with the snowflakes to the brim.

* * *

><p><em><strong>When she opened her eyes, she was no longer in the living room. She was in the Astral Realm. There was no ground. No sky. She just hovered in the bright, colorful light. Cold and hot. Horrified and ecstatic. Limited and infinite.<strong>_

_**"ASTRAL CREATURE!" she cried. Her voice echoed a thousand times into the astral nothingness, spinning and twirling about. "Come to me!"**_

* * *

><p>Cake just stared at her sister in a mixture of confusion, worry, and annoyance. Fionna was just laying there, her face one of pure bliss, her lips barely moving as she whispered, "Come to me...come to me..." over and over.<p>

Ice Queen returned from the kitchen then, their red plastic tray in her bony fingers stacked with three empty glasses and an icy pitcher of limeade. It actually didn't look bad, at least to Cake. It looked icy and flavorful, with little slices of lime swishing around inside. She also noticed that she was carrying a large, leather bag in the crook of her arm.

"I got the limeade!" she sang. She set the leather bag next to the sofa before placing the tray on the table. She lifted the pitcher into her grasp and turned to the feline. "You want some, Cake?"

"You wacko!" exclaimed Cake. "Stop Gunta from knocking over the bottles!"

Ice Queen, who was taking a long, greedy sip from the pitcher itself, rose an eyebrow. "What?" She followed Cake's directing gaze to the shelf. "Gunta?"

Ice Queen saw Gunta rattling the bottles madly and gave a frustrated sigh before setting the pitcher down. She stepped up to the shelf and grabbed the seal around its fatty middle, careful to avoid the bottles. She set Gunta down at her feet and gave him a stern glare. "No, Gunta! No bottles! Look at me! NO BOTTLES!"

"Morp."

Ice Queen smiled down at her minion. "You just can't stay outta trouble, can you? What am I gonna do with ya?"

Ice Queen's hands began to spark with an icy blue power, and Cake feared she was going to freeze the seal on the spot. However, Ice Queen simply pressed her palms together and pulled them apart, an icy chain forming as she did so. Her hands stopped, and she was left with a chain with a loop for a collar. "You're gonna have to wear a leash."

She fixed the collar around Gunta's flabby neck and tied the end to one of the stuck-up roots in the floor. "This should keep you out of trouble."

Cake sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

Ice Queen smiled at her as she moved to stand before the sofa. "Our first bonding activity-" Cake's relieved smile vanished. "-will be walking in each others' shoes, so to speak. To better understand each others' perspectives, we're gonna dress up like each other. Me first!" she added before Cake could retort.

She nestled the pitcher of limeade between the 'sleeping' Fionna and annoyed Cake before ripping off her right sleeve until it stopped several inches past her shoulder. She did the same with the other sleeve. She then lifted up the hem of her skirt and, in a complicated fashion, twisted it all at her hip so that her bloomers were in plain view. Cake grimaced as Ice Queen tucked and tugged her bloomers into the shape of a skirt, showing several inches of wrinkled blue skin. Ice Queen reached into the large leather bag she had brought in and pulled out a permanent black marker. She then proceeded to color in her bare feet until it seemed like she was wearing Fionna's black Mary-Janes. With a giggle, she took up all of her ankle-length, snowy white hair and bundled it on top of her head. She inserted two fingers onto either side of the bundle and pulled them out so that two 'bunny ears' of hair stood out from her head. With a wave of her hand, a frost washed over her hair and kept it all in place.

"It's adventure time!" she proclaimed excitedly. She raised her voice in a mock imitation of Fionna's voice and sang, _"I'm good! Good! Good! I only do good! Let's have babies, Prince! Let's teach them to be good! I'll save you, Prince! Oh, prince! Sure I'll kiss you! I'm a hero! What?! Marriage, too?"_

Ice Queen leaned forward to Fionna's frozen, sleeping face with a bubbly smile. "Hey, Fionna. Don't you think it's weird that there's two Fionnas?" When the human girl did not respond, Ice Queen patted Fionna's belly. "Fionna? Fionna?!...Not talking?"

Ice Queen shrugged and turned to the older sister. "Now I'm gonna dress like Cake!"

Ice Queen stepped back a few fet and grabbed the hem of her wadded-up dress in her fingers, slowly lifting it up-

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Cake.

Ice Queen stopped up to her navel and raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

"NO!" Cake repeated, angrier.

"Hm?" Ice Queen raised the dress up a bit more, to the middle of her ribcage.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

Ice Queen frowned, sighed, and let the dress fall back down to her hips. "Okay, okay. We'll bond in another way."

* * *

><p>"So..." Ice Queen set the ancient projector down on the small coffee table with a smile. She had spent ten minutes trying to look for a power outlet, another ten trying to push the cabinet out of the way of the only one not claimed by Beema, and, after finding out that the projector ran on batteries, another ten pushing it back into place. "I feel like y'all thinkin' I'm just a tramp hound-doggin' after princes all the time."<p>

She picked up the rolled-up screen of the projector from the floor, walked over to the chair at the opposite side of the room, and carefully set it down on the table against the opposite wall. She then turned and walked back to Fionna and Cake. "I wanted to show you something dear to my soul."

Ice Queen picked up the pitcher between the two girls (which had doubled in content since all the ice had melted) and set it back on the side table before picking up Fionna and Cake once more. Cake wasn't surprised when Fionna didn't stir.

"Something that shows you what lights the fire of my passion," Ice Queen added.

She set Fionna and Cake on either side of the coffee table, facing the screen so they could see.

"I take artful color photographs of my seals' body parts." She ran back to the screen, pulled it up, and ran back to the projector.

She flipped the switch, and a shaft of light came out of the lens at once, though it showed no photographs yet. Ice Queen stood to stand before Cake right in the light. Cake would have shivered. Ice Queen looked particularly creepy then, dressed as her sister with shadows across every feature. "Photography is art, and it's respected by artists."

Ice Queen shuffled away, flipped off the lights so that the room was mostly in darkness, and hit the button on the projector. "I decided to take photographs to capture the true beauty and innocence of the seal species. Okay...first one..." The first photograph depicted a seal's eye, big, black and shiny. "See how Gunta is staring into the camera lense? She's breaking the fourth wall, challenging the viewer to acknowledge her existence. She's saying, 'HERE I AM. LOOK AT ME. ACCEPT ME.'"

"Okay, second one," Ice Queen said as she hit the button again. Cake stared at this photograph in absolute confusion. It looked like four white balls against each other, making a diamond shape between them. "These are my seals' heads touching. It's a juxto position of both body and brain, composed in an almost operatic manner. You can almost hear music."

Ice Queen hit the button again. All Cake saw was a leathery white shape. "This is a haunting image of a seal flipper. Look at how it penetrates the negative space. It's raw and aggressive..."

Ice Queen changed the picture once more. Cake softly groaned as the royal psychopath went on a torturing proclamation about how seal tusks 'capture the light around them in an eerie light.' Her arms darted to Fionna, ever-still and silent. "I can't take much more of this! Dang it, Fifi, what're you doing in there?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>"ASTRAL CREATURE!" Fionna yelled into the voids of the Astral Realm. Everything was changing, but remained same at the same time. No creature was appearing from the depths as of yet. "WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU COME HERE NOOOOW!"<strong>_

* * *

><p>Cake groaned again when Fionna answered her with silence. Ice Queen was now going on about showing her captures beauty to the world for all to see.<p>

"Yeah, I've thought about it, and having a picture gallery would probably be nice," Ice Queen was saying. She shrugged with a smile. "Little cheese, little wine...Could be nice, y'know?"

_Ting_

Cake's eyes darted to the item that made the noise. The key had fallen from Ice Queen's bloomers and was now laying just a few feet away. Ice Queen obviously didn't notice in her flamboyant consideration to bring a veggie-plate to the gallery.

"Key..." Cake whispered to herself softly. Her eyes darted to Gunta. He seemed to be pretending that the crystalline links of her chained leash was made of bottles, and was hitting the chain with his flippers over and over to make them twinkle and chime. "Gunta!..." Cake whispered loud enough for the seal to hear but not loud enough for Ice Queen to hear. "Guntaaaa!...Pssst...Psssssssssssst!"

Gunta, who was in the middle of licking one of the ice-links of his chain, snapped hishead up at the feline.

"C'mere, Gunta..." Cake whispered again, followed by a series of kissing noises emitting from her puckered lips.

Gunta tried to waddle over to the cat, but his leash rooted her to the spot. He pulled against it as much as he could, and the chain finally snapped with a soft chink. Gunta looked up at Cake with his big, black eyes and began to waddle over, but stopped at the key on the floor.

"Grab it Gunta, pick it up," Cake whispered urgently.

Gunta's flipper reached for the key, trembling and shaking slowly. He stopped then, looking up at Cake in question.

"What are you waiting for? Just grab it!"

Gunta tapped the key with his flipper in tease. His head turned then, in the exact direction of the bottles on the shelf.

"Morp."

Gunta began to waddle away from the key in the direction of the shelf excitedly.

"Gunta, come back!"

In Cake's panic, she forgot to lower her voice. Ice Queen hummed confusedly and turned to look at Gunta as he lifted himself up on the boxes under the shelf. "Gunta? Y...You broke your leash?!"

Gunta stopped climbing the boxes and gave the Ice Queen a look of confusion.

Ice Queen sighed in frustration and picked the seal up under her flippers. "You're being naughty, Gunta! You interrupted my show!" She set Gunta down right beside Fionna and Cake and gave her a look of stern annoyance. "Now stay here and go to sleep!"

Gunta stared at her.

"SLEEP!"

Gunta closed his eyes and began to let out adorable snores.

Ice Queen couldn't help herself. Her eyes shone and her lips pulled up in a smile. "So cute...Alright, back to art..."

Cake stared at the seemingly asleep Gunta as Ice Queen went on to describe a photograph of seal bellies. She waited until she was sure Ice Queen wasn't looking or listening to whisper, "Gunta. Gunta, wake up."

Gunta's eyes snapped open instantly. He immediately turned to face Cake.

"Go. Get. The. Key."

Gunta, however, took a single hop over to Cake and lifted up a flipper. He began to pat Cake's ear repeatedly. "Gunta..." Cake groaned. Gunta's flippers move to rub Cake's muzzle in circles. "Consarnit, Gunta!"

"Okay, time for a break," Ice Queen said as she pressed the power button of the projector. The light of the projector flickered off and Ice Queen stretched her back out. "Who wants limeade?"

Ice Queen finally saw the key between her feet. She let out a little exclamation of surprise and bent down, picked it up, and tucked it into her bloomers once more. Cake hissed. "Don't want to lose this."

She caught sight of Gunta patting Cake's forehead and gasped. "Gunta! Cake! No! You're bonding without me!"

"Morp."

"Gunta, how could you?!" cried the Ice Queen. A frozen tear fell down her cheek. "And Cake! You too! Now I'll have to punish both of you!"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later saw Gunta laying down in the plastic pet carrier by the Ice Queen. Ice Queen shut the metal gate with a creak, making Gunta give her a look of confusion.<p>

"It's for your own good, sweetie," Ice Queen said as she wagged a finger at him.

"Now, then..." Ice Queen reached behind the nearby dresser and rummaged around. Cake, who had been confined to her drawer-bed with her blanket spread over her, craned her eyes to look. Ice Queen soon protruded another pet carrier, slightly larger than Gunta's. "For you, Cake!"

Cake glared at her angrily. "You already froze me!"

"Oh, right..." Ice Queen paused and gave the pet carrier a look of confusion. "Why did I bring this, anyway? Oh, well, I'll just put it here for now." She set it back behind the dresser before asking Cake, "Is that OK? If I put it here for now?"

Cake closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose before hissing out, "Yesssss."

When Cake opened her eyes, she...well, she would have started. Ice Queen was standing between her drawer and Fionna's bed, prying open what seemed to be a cot. She finally got it open and adjusted the mattress.

"You're sleeping HERE?!" Cake yelled.

Ice Queen giggled as she fluffed up her pillow. "Well, not yet, silly." She bounced up onto the cot and smiled at the annoyed feline as if they were best friends. "Not before our next bonding activity: Late-Nite Gab Sess."

Cake looked over at the clock on the wall. It was literally five minutes after four.

Ice Queen scooted closer to Cake on her cot, frowning but with her eyes gleaming in excitement. "Wanna talk about boys?"

Cake glared.

"You have a crush on anyone?"

Cake scoffed, "Yeah. My boyfriend, Lord Monochromicorn?"

Ice Queen gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth. As Cake glared, she giggled and leaned forward to whisper in Cake's ear. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

She stopped giggling then, frowning as she twiddled her fingers. She glanced over at Fionna, who continued to remain in her coma, before whispering, "I have a crush on Prince Gumball."

Cake droned sarcastically, "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. I've liked him for some time. It feels _weird_ to say it out loud." Ice Queen giggled shyly.

Ice Queen stopped giggling. She remained silent for some time, and her eyelids drooped, her eyes becoming glazed. She was breathing so slowly and deeply she was almost snoring. Actually, she was snoring.

Cake groaned. "Ah, geez, she fell asleep with her eyes open! Fifi, wake up! Please!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Inside Fionna's mind, she continued to scream and yell for the astral beast she sought. Her emotions began to rise to anger and fury. "ASTRAL BEAST! SHOW YOURSELF! WHY NOT?!"<strong>_

_**Something happened then. The voids of the realm began to shift and waver before shooting in the opposite direction at the speed of light. She heard something then. As loud as hummingbird wings batting, as quick as a rabbit and as graceful as ringing harps. It grew louder and louder, so beautiful and mesmerizing. The voids began to sparkle merrily. Fionna felt her entire being begin to evaporate like steam.**_

_**"THIS IS IT!"**_

* * *

><p>Fionna's eyes flew open.<p>

She was no longer in the living room. She was back in her own bed, her blankets bundled at her feet, her body still frozen stone-solid. It was dark, the only light coming from the moonlight that filtered through the windows. She could just see Cake's form sitting, frozen, in her drawer, her eyes closed and fast asleep. She could also see Ice Queen laying down on a peculiar cot, sucking on her thumb. Everything was absolutely silent.

Fionna opened her mouth to whisper to Cake, ask her why the Ice Queen was still there. But instead of the question she intended, her voice spoke out, whispering, into a simple but powerful sentence.

_"The astral creature commeth."_

* * *

><p>"ER-ER-EEEEERRRRR!"<p>

Cake's eyes flew open at the sound of the rooster screech. After a moment of adjusting to the blinding light that the sun brought, she saw that, with a groan, the rooster screech was coming from Ice Queen, not a bird.

Ice Queen giggled once she finished and smiled at the two girls in turn. "Alright, who's hungie?" She turned around to smile at Cake. "Cake, you hungie?"

Cake was absolutely starving, having not eaten for an entire day. Coldy, she replied, "I'm _hungry_."

Ice Queen chuckled to herself. "Fair enough. How 'bout some bacon and eggs?"

Cake's eyes widened, and she allowed herself to smile. "That actually sounds pretty good-"

"I'm gonna put my fingers in it."

Cake's smile instantly turned to an annoyed scowl.

"Eating a part of me will bring us closer together," Ice Queen explained with a giggle. She stepped up to Cake and tried to wiggle her paws, but it was like trying to move stone. "I'll be inside of you. BRB."

Cake would have been shaking her head, had she been able to move. She glared at Ice Queen until she disappeared down the ladder of the room. She looked over to Fionna, expecting to see her still asleep and frozen, but was surprised to find that she, too, was glaring where Ice Queen had gone. "Fifi! You're back!"

Fionna smiled at her sister. Cake noticed that three bees had flown into the window and were now crawling on Fionna's pillow and pajama shirt, but thought nothing of it. "Oh, yeah. I didn't want to wake you-"

"Did it work?" Cake cut her off in her anxious excitement. "Where's your astral creature?"

"It's on it's way. It's gonna be great." As Fionna spoke, five more bees flew in from the window and landed around Fionna.

"What kinda creature is it?"

Eleven more bees flew in before Fionna spoke. "I'm not sure...I couldn't see much..." Twenty-three more bees flew in. "But it sounds awesome." Thirty-four bees now. "Maybe a lion?" Forty-two.

"A lion, eh?" asked Cake. A bee flew onto her muzzle, and she blew it away with a single breath.

Fifty-seven bees. Sixty-one. Seventy-eight.

"AW, JUNK, DID I SUMMON BEES?!" Fionna cried in disbelief as more bees continued to pour through the window. As they continued to buzz around, almost deafening, Fionna huffed, "I stink."

"You don't stink." Cake assured her. The bee flew onto her muzzle again, but she didn't bother to shoo it away. "You're great."

"At stinking."

Cake glowered at her younger sister and began to, oddly, hum loudly.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm using my enhanced brain sense to tell your astral creature to slap some sense into you," Cake answered before continuing her humming.

"That's cool. I deserve it."

"NO!" Cake cried. The bees began to fly crazily, buzzing loudly whilst darting to and fro at random. "YOU!" The bees huddled together into a group, morphing and moving as if they could not decide what to be. "DON'T!" In a split second, the bees took on the form of a giant hand and slapped Fionna hard across the face.

Fionna gaped.

Cake gaped.

Fionna smiled.

Cake smiled.

* * *

><p>Ice Queen added another strip of long, raw bacon into the skillet. It began to sizzle and pop loudly almost at once, accompanied by the sounds of the already-cooking bacon and eggs. Ice Queen pressed five fingers down into the bacon, the other five into the eggs. Her icy skin and powers prevented any harmful burns. After thirty seconds of letting her fingers stay there, she began to flick them on and off of the food carefully. "Shakey, shakey, makin' food for Cakey," Ice Queen sang. She then took her fingers out of the pans. "Don't wanna use to much finger. It'll take away from the flavor!"<p>

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

"Wha-?" Ice Queen turned around. Instantly, she jumped five feet into the air. "AHHH!"

Fionna was descending down the ladder, suspended on a thick cloud of large, buzzing bees. The bees carefully lifted her upwards so that she could glower down at her enemy.

"Fionna!" Ice Queen gasped. A moment later, Cake appeared down the ladder as well, hovering above the floor on an identical group of bees. "And Cake! And a bunch of bees!" A third party of bees appeared, holding up Fionna's ruby sword. "And a sword!" The sword threw down on Ice Queen's tiara, knocking it to the floor and letting her long hair fall free of its Fionna-styled up-do. Ice Queen didn't dare reach down to pick up the tiara, for fear that the sword would actually attack her.

With a distinct tone of panic in her voice, Ice Queen asked, "What do you want from me?"

Fionna gaped in disbelief. "What do we-? WE WANT YOU TO UNFREEZE US, YA LUNATIC!"

"Noooooo!" Ice Queen whined childishly. "We're not friends yet! You haven't eaten my eggs and bacie!"

In answer, a small group of bees flew off of each of the three clouds, formed another giant hand, and punched the Ice Queen hard across the face.

"That's not how friends work," Fionna said sternly. "Friends don't eat each other. Now unlock this bottle and unfreeze us."

A fifth flock of bees, and so far the smallest, approached the Ice Queen, balancing the _**UN**_-STILL SERUM 1 on its backs.

Ice Queen sighed in defeat. "Oh, alright. I don't know how you're doing this-" Ice Queen grabbed the bottle and reached into her bloomers. "-but it's pretty impressive." She popped the key into the lock and turned it. It unlocked with a 'click.'

"Thanks, girl," Fionna said in her half-asleep, post-astral-realm daze.

"Let's GO!" Cake whined. She was sick and tired of being frozen, and she was absolutely starving.

"OK, OK!" Ice Queen pressed her finger down on the nozzle of the bottle. A spray of watery liquid blasted out.

Fionna and Cake felt a blast of icy air, a tingling sensation in their nerves, and, all at once...

...every single bee fell frozen solid onto the floor. Fionna and Cake hit the floor with loud 'thumps.'

Ice Queen gawked down at the girls before giving the bottle an angry scowl, peering into the nozzle. "Wait, which bottle is th-"

She accidentally pressed down on the nozzle. A blast of the serum sprayed into her face.

Instantly, Ice Queen fell stone-still next to Fionna and Cake, her arm still raised and her fingers still curved around the bottle. There were several beats of hard silence before Ice Queen muttered, "I think they brought the wrong bottle. But Gunta's still upstairs. GUNTAAAA!"

"GUNTAAAA! GUNTAAA!" The three girls cried together in one great, big voice.

* * *

><p>Upstairs, Gunta had managed to break free of his prison, hop across the floor, climb the boxes to the bottles, grab the bottle in his flippers, hop to the window, and set the bottles down on the sill. He heard the three girls calling for him downstairs.<p>

In answer, he pushed the bottles off the sill, where they shattered twenty feet below.

He then commenced to dance victoriously.

TRIVIA

In this episode, it's revealed that Fionna's favorite food is roast beef.

Gunta is revealed to love to break bottles.


	59. Witch Tournament

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

**The Ice Queen**—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.

Grand Master Witch-the witch in charge of all rules and mandatories of the Witch Tournament. She will not allow anything but magic to be used in the Battle, and anyone who uses science or weapons cannot participate. If a contestant forfeits or otherwise tries to leave the Witch Battle, she transforms them into a dog. On that note it should be said that she loves dogs and dogs can be seen on and around her person at most times. She has a thick white coat that could be mistaken for actual fur despite the sleeves; it covers her whole body. She, at least, has yellowish skin on her arms. Her eyes resemble cut rubies, and she wears a thin silver tiara with a rod branching up that is set with a single red jewel at the peak. The top of her head has a different yellow-stained color that doesn't match her white robe, it looks like her head hair but could also be part of her tiara.

Abracadaniela-a witch wishing to compete in the Witch Tournament, only to resign to let herself be killed by another witch once she learns that the prize is a date with Prince Gumball rather than money. She agrees to help Fionna and Cake in the Tournament. Abracadaniela is a humanoid with a pear-shaped head and light pink skin. She has black hair that is kept in a bob. She wears a white robe and socks, as well as a rainbow headband and what appears to a small blue fannypack that sports a blue and green lightning bolt design on its rear. Her robe is a bit odd-looking; it is long-sleeved and forms circular bulbs at the top of her legs and shoulders. There are green spots at the bottom of the legs and the end of the socks. There is also a green circle on the chest area of the robe. She wields a small wand that forks at the end; it is brown and essentially looks like a leafy twig.

WITCH TOURNAMENT

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake's eyes widen in fear as the witches descend upon them, raising their hands to defend themselves._

_"The battle_

_For supremacy _

_Amongst masters of magic!_

_Witch Tournament!"_

As Fionna skipped down the stone steps of the bleachers, several people sitting in the granite seats gave her looks of curiosity before returning to their conversations. Fionna looked around the Colosseum. It hadn't changed in the slightest in the last fifty years. The Colosseum was in the middle of a desert, so the second you stepped out the doors, all you saw were miles and miles of sand. A special spell kept the Colosseum inside a special bubble to keep it cool. A large black scoreboard was set up above the right exit, all of the scores stuck at '00.' Several gargantuan light stands were set up around the bleachers, brightly lit as it was still dark out. Rows and rows of granite seats surrounded the battle field, some missing and replaced with palm trees that had grown through the foundation. In the middle of the bleachers, in a seat the size of a whale to fit her size, was the Grand Master Witch. Giant and powerful, she was identifiable by her fur-coated white skin and eyes like cut rubies. A large tiara sat on top of her head with another ruby inside it.

"Cupcake!" Fionna called as she approached their front-row seats.

Cake was curled in her seat, snoozing soundly. Her snoozing ceased, showing she was awake, but continued to keep her eyes closed to pursue sleep once more.

Fionna crawled over the seats to lean into Cake's ear. "Witch Tournament is starting soon!"

Cake scoffed and shoved Fionna away. "I know. We got here seven hours early, ya donk. Just wake me up when they start selling peanuts."

Cake was about to go back to sleep when she spotted a candy-stripe bag of roasted peanuts right next to her. "Whoa, Nelly!" She took out a handful of peanuts and ate them in one bite. Fionna shook her head but smiled.

A trumpet sounded off through the Colosseum. Fionna gasped and sat upright in her seat. "The Witches are coming out!"

Three Witches walked through the entrance of the Colosseum, all of three Fionna recognized. One, the Jungle Witch that had once tried to kill her. The other two, Witches that she remembered from their Witch-Training with BUFETTE, in their deep red cloaks speckled with silvery stars to match their ranks, though neither had the large star in the center of their cloaks. All three of them knelt down before the Grand Master Witch.

Fionna whooped and cheered. Cake continued to eat her peanuts, but managed to shake a fist while she was at it.

"LADS AND GENTS," the Grand Master Witch's loud voice boomed throughout the bleachers.

Fionna hyperventilated a moment before she calmed herself down.

"I AM THE GRAND MASTER WITCH OF CEREMONIES!" the Grand Master Witch continued flamboyantly. As she spoke, a small dog appeared from one of her furry sleeves and began to walk around happily. "AND NOW, THE RULES! CONTESTANTS WILL FIGHT EACH OTHER WITH SPELLS FROM THE SEVEN SCHOOLS OF MAGIC!"

More and more Witches began to pour through the entrance of the the Colosseum. One of them, clad in a full white body-suit, goggles, and rubber gloves (Fionna paused. Was that Doctor Prince?) was carrying a microscope and a beaker filled with a greenish-yellow liquid.

"NO SCIENCE, SCIENCE WITCH!" the Grand Master Witch scolded.

'Science Witch' huffed and left the Colosseum, grumbling under his breath.

Another Witch entered the stadium, with a very peculiar appearance. Her skin was a grayish-blue color, with bright red fur around her chest and torso like a sort of mini-dress. Her triangular head was black with slitted yellow eyes. Two antlers poked out from her head, branching out in wicked blades.

"NO WEAPONS, WEAPON-HEAD!"

'Weapon-Head' huffed and walked out of the Colosseum grumpily.

"TO ENTER WITCH TOURNAMENT, YOU MUST BEEEEEEE...A WITCH!" the Grand Master Witch finished with a boom.

"Only Witches allowed, woo!" Fionna whooped as she took out her binoculars from her backpack and zoomed them in on the Witches down below. "Woo! Woo! Woooo-at?! Ice Queen?!"

Ice Queen smiled at the two girls, hovering several feet above the ground to see them over the barrier. She waved in greeting.

"Boooooo!" Cake said. She hadn't yet forgiven the queen for freezing her a few days prior.

"You're a contestant?" exclaimed Fionna.

"Mm-hm," Ice Queen nodded. With a beaming smile, she gasped and asked, "Did you really come all this way to watch me win?"

"Pshoo," Fionna huffed. Leaning against the barrier, she said, "You're gonna lose, girl."

"You're a loser," Cake agreed.

"Ha!" Ice Queen laughed loudly, causing several Witches and by-stander give her looks of momentary curiosity. Her eyebrows flapping energetically, Ice Queen said, "I'm not gonna lose! I gotta foolproof plan for winning!" She leaned in closer so that only the two girls could hear her. "I'm gonna cheat."

Ice Queen giggled excitedly then, completely oblivious to the look of icy anger Fionna was glaring her. The glare and giggle didn't last long, however. A dark shadow cast itself over the entire Colosseum, making every person there look up in question.

A large, pink blimp had appeared above the Colosseum. Hot pink in color, designed heavily with bright lavender lace and glimmering wisteria trimming, the blimp had a gigantic flat-screen slapped on its side, currently blank. You could just make out a waffle-cone basket at the bottom of the blimp, currently covered by a bright violet curtain.

"And now, Lads and Gents," the Grand Master Witch's voice continued. Witness the unveiling of this year's Grand Prize..."

The curtain lifted, and a figure stepped out into the sunlight.

"...A DATE WITH PRINCE GUMBALL!"

Prince Gumball waved kindly to the Witches and watchers below. There were several cheers of joy and excitement in answer. The prince's hair was in its usual state, with his small crown on top of his sort of 'quiff.' He was dressed in a lavender shirt with an orchid collar and puffed shoulders, with an orchid belt around his middle. Light fuchsia shorts accompanied it. The TV screen on the blimp turned to a picture of him bowing politely.

"FOR A FULL 24 HOURS!" the Grand Master Witch added.

The majority of the Witches down below howled with cheers of joy. However, those Witches who just so happened to be men groaned and yelled in protest. They obviously thought that this year's 'Grand Prize' was entirely unfair. A brain-headed Witch squinted her eyes and called out, "Can the date be out of the country?"

"NO!" the Grand Master Witch boomed.

"Then I choose to quit the Tournament!" the Witch yelled as she stabbed a thumb in the direction of the exit. Several other men and older Witches yelled in agreement and quickly followed.

"NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO EXIT WITCH TOURNAMENT!"

In the blink of an eye, a bright pink bolt of lightning hit all of those leaving. There was a crack of thunder, and in their places were several dogs, their colors identical to their former selves. All exits closed together in metal doors.

"THE DOORS ARE SHUT!"

There was a sort of whine throughout the Colosseum, and several jets of pale orange light shot up from all sides to form a giant dome in the air with a wave of the Grand Master Witch's hands.

"THE SKY BARRIER IS IN PLACE!"

A bird hit the barrier with a thud as she continued.

"ALL OF YOU WILL DATE THE PRINCE, OR DIE IN BATTLE!"

Ice Queen sighed in positive bliss. With a blush across her cheeks, she whispered, "Can't wait to get that princey date..." She fluttered away in a fit of giggles.

Fionna glared daggers at her, her face lightly dusted in a pink blush at the very thought of someone else dating the prince. If looks could kill, Ice Queen would be rotting in her grave. Fionna turned to her sister so fast it almost gave her whiplash. "Cupcake! We gotta enter Witch Tournament and stop the Ice Queen!"

"But we ain't Witches!" Cake tried to reason. "What about the sanctity and honor of Witch Tournament?"

Fionna turned her sneering face away and grumbled, "I'd rather sanctify PG's dignity..."

"Oooooooooooh~!" Cake sang in pure bliss. She prodded Fionna in her ribs, making her glare. "You don't care about the Ice Queen. You just wanna date Prince Gumball."

"No!" Fionna half-lied at once. "I wanna save the prince!"

"Mm-hmmmm. Yeah, you do."

"I do!"

_"Yeah, you do."_

"Oh, shut up," Fionna scoffed, then picked Cake up from her seat and ran with her in tow in the direction of the pile of discarded robes and garments beside the exit. She tossed Cake into it from the bleachers and quickly followed.

After several moments of dressing blindly, and constantly cutting themselves on the discarded weapons hidden inside the pile, the two girls stepped out. However, they decided to disguise themselves as one person. Fionna was now sitting on Cake's shoulders, her arms around Cake's neck so that Cake would serve as arms and legs. Cake's face was hidden and Fionna's was shown. They now had a mint green robe around them, covered in odd metallic buttons. Fionna had pulled a bright red hat over her bunny ears, as well as a bright yellow mask that covered the areas around her eyes. "Now, where's the Ice Queen?"

Fionna's eyes searched around the Colosseum ring. Witches were practicing their spells, filling the air with sparks, smoke, and explosions.

"There!" Cake's paw pointed.

Ice Queen was standing twenty yards away, not practicing whatsoever. She was more concerned about huffing into her palm and smelling her breath, obviously satisfied.

"We need a plan, girl," Fionna pulled her hands up to her hands to her hat and pulled the lining apart to look down at her sister.

Cake's head soon appeared from the darkness to smile at her. "OK. When the Witches start to go at each other, let's go hide behind that rock." She quickly pointed behind Fionna before darting out of sight, as to not draw suspicion.

Fionna looked behind her. Sure enough, there was a large slab of rock about ten yards away. It almost formed a cave, and it was a perfect place to hide.

"BY THE RAYS OF THE APPROACHING SUN," the Grand Master Witch's voice boomed over the Colosseum once more. Sure enough, the first golden rays of the sun were casting themselves over the Colosseum, making the sky half-gold, half-purple. "THE TOURNAMENT OF WITCHES HAS...BEGUN!"

A single ray hit the gem on her tiara, and a beam of red power shot out into the Colosseum and blasted at the feet of one of the star-robed Witches (WHOA! WAIT! THAT'S BUFETTE!). As she fell away on her feet, a thick cloud of dust lifted from the ground. Once beams of power and bright explosions erupted from the cloud, Fionna ran as fast as she could for the slab of rock.

Unfortunately, though, the cloud extended right in front of her path. Several times, she felt spells just brushing against her robe and skin, scorching hot and icy cold. Finally, the slab came into sight. Fionna jumped over it just as a fire-ball was about to take off her head.

Fionna scurried behind the rock and cautiously peeked around the corner. The cloud was lifting, but the spells and blasts continued for some time. Finally, all the spells and smoke disappeared.

Fionna's eyebrows furrowed. There wasn't a single Witch in sight. It was as if they had all vanished into thin air. One by one, the large lights shut off, as sunlight had finally lit up the environment well enough to go without them.

Cake stretched up her head to look at the scene. "Huh. Looks like everyone else had the same idea."

Sure enough, as Fionna looked closer, she saw the other Witches. Some had hidden well, disguising their specially-designed clothes to blend into the environment, such as other slabs of rock and hairy bushes. Others weren't so good. They hid behind tiny rocks and paper-thin bushes, and some were reduced to just crouching in corners.

"What are they waiting for?" Fionna asked.

"The Opposites."

"Wha-?!" Fionna span around in surprise.

From a dark corner in the rock slab, a figure crawled out, trembling with fear. It was a girl, and an odd-looking one at that. She looked humanoid, but also part different-species. Her skin was a light pink color, like a peach. Her head was bulbous, almost pear-shaped, with big, black eyes the size of quarters. A black bob of hair was slapped on top, with a rainbow-designed band around her bangs. A small blue fanny-pack was strapped to her side. She wore a robe like the other Witches, but it was very peculiar. It was white, with long sleeves, but the shoulders were bulbs, as well as the thighs. The bottom of the legs had green spots, with a matching one at her chest. She carried a twig in her hand, to top it all off.

"Witches with Opposite powers will take each other on first," the girl explained, trembling horribly. She was terrified out of her wits.

"Uh..." Fionna paused. "Are you a Witch?"

"Yes. My name is..." The girl took a deep breath and, in the most extravagant voice she could muster (not a very good one), breathed, "Abracadaniela!" She set her twig in her other palm and pulled it back. A stream of pink and gold sparkles followed. The twig was a wand, Fionna realized. But 'Abracadaniela' didn't seem to experienced. The spell she was using was practically useless, and she was straining so hard you'd think the wand weighed a million pounds. She eventually stopped, panting heavily.

"Hi, Abracadaniela," Fionna smiled. Cake waved an enlarged hand to accompany. "My name is...uh...Magic Paw."

Cake peeked out of Fionna's hat to look at Abracadaniela. She scoffed. "This gal looks like a wuss."

Abracadaniela gasped and jumped at the sight of the feline. "Who is THAT?"

"She's my...uh...Magic Tumor!" Fionna chuckled nervously as she stuffed Cake back down into the cloak with a sharp kick to her back.

"Well, she's right." Abracadaniela huffed and began to explain, "I only entered this contest because I thought the prize would be money. But it's just a stupid date!"

Fionna paused. "You mean...You don't care about dating PG?"

Abracadaniela stuck out her tongue with a disgusted grimace. "Ugh! No! If I were the winner, I would turn my head away-" She demonstrated by doing so. "-so that he would get the message. And then I would hold up my hands-" She held her hands up in front of her, as if to say 'stop'. "-and tell him I'm not interesting. Turn and stop. Turn and stop. Turn and stop..."

As she continued to turn and stop, Fionna looked down at Cake with a bright smile on her face. "This girl is great!"

"...and stop." Abracadaniela gave Fionna a tentative smile. "Well, I'm going to go back to my corner and wait for someone to kill me. It was nice knowing you."

She turned on her heel, only for Cake to stretch out a paw and catch her bulbous shoulder.

"Wait!" Fionna said. "Abracadanni, don't you worry about a thing. I'm gonna protect you."

Abracadaniela looked as if she had just jumped from a horrible nightmare into a wonderful dream. "You...You will?!"

"Sure. And I have a way you can help me save PG's dignity."

"Uh..." Abracadaniela paused, but shrugged. "OK."

"RAAAAH"!

The sudden war-cry made the two (well, technically three) girls jump in surprise. Cautiously, they turned to cautiously look out from behind the slab of rock to see what was happening.

Ice Queen and a sort of ram-like fire demon were circling each other with angry expressions on their features. Judging from the steam rising off of the demon's flames, Ice Queen had just tried to hit her with a blast of icy power.

"Opposites are fighting," Abracadaniela whispered.

"HYAH!"

If one were to blink (unlike Fionna) they would have missed it. Ice Queen reached into the fold of her gown and pulled out a steel club. She hit the demon in the cheek with it, making her stumble.

Fionna gasped in shock. "Cheating!"

Ice Queen gave the demon another hit hard against her temple. She crumpled to the ground in a flaming heap, completely knocked out. Ice Queen quickly hid the club and crossed her arms proudly, as if she had handled it all by herself.

"She's using a weapon!" Fionna whispered down to Cake, who had also been looking.

Cake was just as equally alarmed. "Why isn't the Grand Master Witch seeing this?"

They both looked up at the gargantuan witch in question. She was far too distracted with playing fetch with another one of her little dogs to pay even the slightest attention to anything going on around her, let alone the Ice Queen cheating.

"I gotta go stop her!" Fionna exclaimed, and moved forward to attack the Ice Queen.

At that exact moment, however, the the piece of earth she was standing on began to quake and crumble, a very angular crack appearing around her feet. Fionna jumped away as far as she could. The piece of earth rose into the air, hovering as dust cascaded onto the ground. Two big, pink triangular eyes appeared in the piece of earth, glaring at Fionna. Fionna and Abracadaniela screamed in surprise.

"EARTH WITCH!" Abracadaniela cried.

The Earth Witch raised her big, bulging, dusty arms with a loud war-cry. "COME TO ME, TECTONIC PLATES! ROCK WITCH COMPELS YOU!"

The ground began to quake viciously, up and down and left to right. Fionna let out an exclamation of surprise. With a deafening 'POP', a large boulder of earth shot up from the ground and hovered in the air. Several more 'POPs' and four other boulders joined it. They turned in Fionna's direction and began to shoot towards her like darts.

Abracadaniela gasped and pointed her twig of a wand at the Rock Witch. "Tin-fall!"

A cloud of sparkles flew out of her wand, swirling in the air until it circled itself around the Earth Witch's head. She hummed in confusion and her focus on the boulders fell.

Unfortunately, because they no longer had a target, the boulders fell back to the earth, dusty and heavy.

One landed right on Abracadaniela with a sickening crunch.

Fionna gasped in shock and horror as her new friend disappeared under the boulder's bulk. "NO!" she cried instinctively. Her horror was short-lived, as another boulder just about crushed herself. Cake dodged her out of the way with ease. The boulders continued to fall around her with loud bangs and splays of dirt. She caught sight of another flying at her from above. "Cupcake, seven o'clock!"

Cake's enlarged paw gave the incoming boulder a hard kick that shattered it to pieces.

"OK. Now to stop the Ice Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen?!"

Fionna gawked as she turned to her left. Abracadaniela was standing beside her, looking as if she had been hit by a pebble rather than a boulder. She was very alive and very not-dead.

"My flesh has caoutchouc fibers in it," Abracadaniela explained, and pressed a hand to her collarbone. It sank in a good three inches before she let it back out. "That's how I adapt to my surroundings."

"Whoa!" Fionna gasped in wonder. Cake's enlarged paws grasped onto Abracadaniela's shoulders in a friendly grip. "That's mega-awesome!"

"HYAAAAAAH!"

Abracadaniela and Fionna/Cake turned around in surprise. Ice Queen was flying at them with her club held out threateningly, her lips open in a loud war-cry. However, before she could reach them, a male wizard in a hooded cape, gloves, and twigged antlers cut Ice Queen off with a darting run. Ice Queen skidded to a halt and turned to face the wizard with a snarl. He replied with a shot of silver power to her ankles. She yelped and ran out to take him on.

Fionna gave Abracadaniela a quick glance. "Stay close to me, Abracadaniela."

The two of them tore through the arena, dodging every threat that came to them. Blasts of power, gusts of wind, and fiery explosions threatened them many times before they were cut off in there trek. Just as one of BUFETTE's girls were about to attack them with fire-balls, an earthquake ripped open at her feet and sent her falling into its void. A pale yellow female jumped out of the new crack in the earth with a snarl.

Abracadaniela quickly waved her twig-wand at her. With a spurt of smoke, another cloud of sparks hit the female in the face. Her pale yellow skin went a sickly color of green.

The female gawked in disgust. "Wha-?! YOU TURNED ME GREEN, GIRL!"

Cake gave the female a sharp kick to the face. She fainted on impact and fell into her own void of earth.

The Grand Master Witch FINALLY looked up at the arena. Every single Witch and Wizard was now lying limp in the dust, some charred and some frozen, but all unable to continue the Tournament. Every except, however, Abracadaniela, Fionna/Cake, and the Ice Queen.

"THREE WITCHES REMAIN!" she bellowed loudly. "TIME TO GET FOR REAL! I WANNA SEE SOME CARAYZAY WITCH-BIZ NOW!"

The crowd cheered in delight. "WITCH-BIZ, WITCH-BIZ!" they chorused over and over. Ice Queen joined them, doing a little jig as she hummed, "Witch-biz...Witch-biz..." She sighed and her cheeks flushed pink. "I wonder where I'll take the Prince. Maybe a stroll on the beach...or a movie...something nice and private..."

Abracadaniela grimaced in disgust at the Ice Queen's daydreaming. Fionna jumped to her side and whispered, "Now you can help me!" She leaned in further to whisper the plan into her ear.

Ice Queen didn't like the whispering one bit. "Girls!" she called. "C'mon! I got a surprise for you's fools!"

Abracadaniela and Fionna parted, their footsteps wide and cautious. "Yeah, that's right..." Ice Queen whispered as they circled her. "Just a little closer..." Her fingers twitched at her opposite sleeve, already clutching the end of her club. "What's here up my sleeve?"

"WATCH OUT, ABRACADANIELA!" Fionna yelled.

Abracadaniela ducked just as the Ice Queen swung the club at her head. She darted left and right, making the Ice Queen's aim sloppy.

"You got this, Danni-girl!" Fionna cheered.

Abracadaniela swung her wand at the Ice Queen. A bright burst of sparkles shot out of the end and landed on the club in the ice-witch's fingers. The steel club morphed into a small ferret at once. Ice Queen cried out and dropped it in fright. It scurried away to the hairy shrubs scattered about. "MY CLUB! NO!"

"YES!" Abracadaniela cried with a panting laugh. She looked at her twig-wand as if it were the Holy Grail. "I...I did it! I really did it!" She hugged the twig to her heart lovingly. "I am a true Witch!"

Cake gave her a big-pawed thumbs-up as Fionna smiled.

Prince Gumball took in the sight from above with a very straight face.

Ice Queen raised her now-glowing fists with a shriek, glowering at the three girls. "I HAVE POWERS TOO, YOU BOOBS!" She took off into the air, far out of their reach. She raised her right fist into the air. With a waver, a spike-balled weapon of ice appeared in her grasp. "ICE MORNING STAR!" She raised her left arm in front of her. With another waver, a shape of ice formed on her forearm. "ICE SHIELD!" She darted down to Abracadaniela with a war cry.

Abracadaniela, panicked, darted her eyes from left to right. They finally found the ferret, hiding in a growth of bushes to the right. She pointed her wand at it and cried, "ABRACADANIELA!"

The ferret shot up into the air right above the Ice Queen and twisted back into a steel club that fell down.

Ice Queen was just giving Abracadaniela a look of confusion ("Huh? What did ya say?") when the club hit her head with a thud. At once, she hit the ground in a limp heap, her ice-weapons melting away.

The crowd cheered wildly, some jumping to their feet to show more enthusiasm. Fionna gave Abracadaniela a big, bright smile. "Good job, Danni! You're not a wuss anymore! You must feel really great now."

"I do!" Abracadaniela gasped out. Tears were glittering in her eyes now, threatening to spill over. They shined gold in the full sunlight of early morning. "I...feel...real..._great_...!" She said the last word with an odd sort of guttural growl, but Fionna shrugged it off as winner's hype.

Fionna nodded and said, "I'll forfeit now. I just wanted to stop the Ice Queen."

Cake popped up into Fionna's hat just long enough to say, "Nuh-uh" before darting back down.

Fionna turned to the crowd as Cake raised her paws high. "I FORFEIT! I FORFEIT THE TOURNAMENT!"

The crowd was just beginning to cheer when the Grand Master Witch hit Fionna with a ray of bright red power.

Fionna's face disappeared into her hat as it and the robe began to crumple in on itself. Soon, the hat and robe were nothing but limp garments in the dust. Cake, alarmed at the apparent disappearance of her sister, shrunk down to avoid suspicion whilst investigating. She crawled out of of the robe into the hat and gasped.

Fionna had been transformed into a small, white dog, yapping softly. As she began to scratch behind her ear, Cake let out a gasp of shock.

"ABRACADANIELA WINS!" the Grand Master Witch boomed. "YOU ARE THE GREATEST WITCH IN AAA!"

Abracadaniela snapped out of her Fionna-turned-into-a-dog stupor with a gasp. Chuckling nervously with a blush on her cheeks, she stuttered, "W-w-well, thank you, Grand Master Witch, miss. I suppose through this challenge, I have become a great Witch. I-I came here with no self-esteem and no chances." (Barely a fourth of the audience was actually listening now. Most were already leaving and others were checking their phones.) "A will-o-wisp of a girl. But now I'll walk out of this Colosseum as a woman!" Abracadaniela's soft, squeaky voice suddenly dropped a hundred octaves and rose fifty feet in volume. Cake jumped. She sounded like a monster. "A CONFIDENT WOMAN! **WHO DESERVES A DATE WITH A PRINCE!**"

Fionna, even in her dog-form, gasped loudly. She looked down at her paws and concentrated. Her furry arms suddenly turned fleshy, short claws turning to flexible fingers. She used them to grab onto the fur of her head. Despite the fact that it hurt like fire, she forced herself to rip the fur and skin open. Instead of the gore expected, however, two bunny-ears popped out, quickly followed by blue-green eyes ablaze with fury. As Fionna's face and other body parts began to push out of her dog body, Cake hurried to get back into position.

It all happened very quickly. Fionna's dog body shed away until her actual body was complete. Cake stood up at Fionna's command. Fionna shot up to Abracadaniela's face, and, glaring, _shrieked_:

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_

Abracadaniela crumpled to the ground. You could hear the ringing in her own ears. Cake clamped her paws onto Fionna's mouth. Fionna herself had her eyes wide and her body rigid in her own shock.

There was silence as the crowd stared at Abracadaniela's limp body and Fionna/Cake's resurrected self.

The Grand Master Witch found her exploding voice once more, and boomed, "IT APPEARS YOU HAVE KNOCKED OUT ABRACADANIELA USING THE MOST SHAMEFUL OF ALL MAGIC: A SOUND SHRIEK."

Fionna's face turned red as the crowd filled with murmurs and gasps of shock, worry, and disappointment.

"BUT, SINCE YOU ARE THE LAST WITCH, YOU ARE THE WINNER OF WITCH TOURNAMENT!"

Fionna smiled to herself. The audience applauded tentatively, a few cheers scattered about. The Grand Master Witch stabbed a massive thumb in the direction of the locker-rooms. "Get ready for your date, champ."

* * *

><p>Fionna sighed as she sat on the cold wooden bench of the locker-rooms. Even though this place hadn't been used for twelve months, it still smelled very heavily of sweat and dirt. The door was barely hanging on its hinges, and the 'LOCKER-ROOM' sign had been reduced to 'LKR OM.' The walls had crumbled away severely, exposing several patches of drywall and wires. Ventilation tubes had fallen through the ceiling to crash to the mossy tile floor. Some lockers were missing doors, others were just barely hanging onto their hinges. All of them were rusty and grimy and one set had toppled over to the next. There was a constant dripping sound, but Fionna had no idea where it can from.<p>

Her robe shuffled. Fionna adjusted her legs to allow Cake to stretch out from the robe and stand before her, smiling. "Whoa-hoa, girl!"

Fionna let her legs stretch out for the first time in hours. It felt good, but her stomach continued to knot uncomfortably. "What?"

"I've never heard you scream like that before!" Despite the fact that Fionna's eyes had lidded and she was now holding her head in her hands, Cake continued. "You were all like, 'Nooooo! No one dates him but meeeee!'"

Fionna gave her sister a slight glare as she frowned heavily. She felt a spark of annoyance inside her that lit up a fire of anger. "YES, OK?! I WANNA DATE HIM, ALRIGHT? BIG SECRET OUT! OK, CAKE! ARE YOU HAPPY, CAKE?!" She hit her fist on the bench in her anger.

A single tear fell down Cake's muzzle and soaked into her fur.

Fionna saw and immediately felt extreme guilt. "Whoa, Cupcake, don't cry! I'm not really mad at you!"

Cake gave her a sad smile and wiped the tears in her eyes away, nodding.

Fionna sighed again and said, "I'm just really tired of keeping my feelings inside all the time, y'know? It's really exhausting."

"Then stop keeping them in!" Cake exclaimed with a bright smile. "You get out there and date it up!"

Fionna couldn't help it. She laughed. "Alright, alright."

Loud footsteps approached the mossy doors of the locker rooms. Fionna quickly jumped onto Cake's shoulders, pulling her limbs in and letting Cake replace them.

The Grand Master Witch's massive faced poked through the doors, knocking one down in the process. Her ruby eyes shined in the dim light of the locker-rooms as she asked, "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm coming!"

* * *

><p>Fionna walked out into the bright Colosseum a few minutes later.<p>

It was certainly a sight to see. The sun was bright and gold overhead, the sky a clear, flawless blue. The Colosseum looked odd filled with a small number of non-fighting people. A line of people stood to Fionna's left. First was the Grand Master Witch, who towered fifty feet over Fionna, busying herself with a small dog on her hand. Beside her was a still-unconscious Ice Queen, her gown smeared with dust as if she had been dragged to her spot. Beside her was the fire demon she had defeated. Beside her, a headless Weapon-Head. BUFETTE next to her, and a stunned Abracadaniela after her. The massive blimp had landed down to the ground, casting most of them in its massive shadow. Prince Gumball stood on a small podium, with two Banana Guards on either side of him, two trumpets in hand. Fionna looked past him to the basket of the blimp, which was circled with plush seats and rose petals. Peppermint Maid stood in front of the prince, singing a song.

_"Get ready for the Grand Prize!_

_Take his hand in yours_

_Never in your life would you dream of thi-i-is!_

_Never in your freaking life!"_

Just as Fionna approached the prince, a knot in the pit of her stomach, a piece of earth stuck out at her feet. She just had enough time to estimate that it was one of the Earth Witch's late-blooming boulders before she hit the dust.

There was an audible gasp around her. She realized with with a horrible pang. Cake had tumbled out of her robe and was now sprawled out next to her. Along with the fact that her robe had opened up, showing her T-shirt and skirt, her mask had fallen to dangle by her cheek so that all of her face was visible.

Prince Gumball quickly recovered and asked, "What the crunk is going on?"

Fionna took a deep breath and said, in a rush, "The Ice Queen was cheating in the Tournament with a club, so Cupcake and I disguised ourselves as Witches to save you from dating him and...uh..." Fionna took in a deep breath and let it out in a groan. "...I dishonored Witch Tournament."

"Oh, Fionna," Prince Gumball sighed, but smile. "You did that for me?"

Prince Gumball stepped down from the podium and leaned downwards as Fionna sat up. It happened in a three seconds: Prince Gumball gave Fionna a kiss on the lips, Fionna's face flushed red, and the Prince pulled back. "That's for being sweet."

He then commenced to hit Fionna on the head with his fist.

"That's for cheating," Prince Gumball stood back up and put his hands on his hips, giving Fionna a stern look. "Fionna, you know better than to soil the sanctity of Witch Tournament! 'Witches Only', silly." Prince Gumball turned to the ever-confused line of people and announced, "ALRIGHT, EVERYONE! GO HOME! GET READY FOR NEXT YEAR!"

BUFETTE, Abracadaniela, Weapon-Head, and the fire demon grumbled in annoyance, but ambled towards the exit obediently. Ice Queen continued to lay forgotten in the dust.

Fionna smiled at Cake with a light laugh. "Oh, well."

"Good job," Cake gave her sister a light punch on the shoulder. "You got a kiss."

Fionna sighed. "My head hurts a little."

Cake chuckled and took the other side of Fionna's mask in her paw, tucking it back into place. "Don't worry. You look rad."

Fionna laughed. "Thanks." Fionna took off the mask with fast fingers and fastened it to Cake's furry head. "You try."

"Alright. Am I cool now?"

"So fly."

"How 'bout me?"

Fionna and Cake looked up. Ice Queen had regained consciousness and was now standing over them, a black, red-eyed mask around her face. They stared.

"Put me on the grid, scale from 1 to 10. 1 is totally ugly, 10 is 'Ice Queen, you look tots siack."

Fionna and Cake glared.

TRIVIA

Magic Shrieks are the most shameful form of magic in Aaa.

This is the first time Fionna and Prince Gumball have kissed since 'Too Young.'

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

Fionna may be considered a Witch from her training with BUFETTE, but since her powers are gone, she could be considered an ex-Witch.


	60. With Finn and Jake

Finn-a 13-year-old adventurer and Jake's adopted brother. Finn's eyes are depicted as black dots, due to radiation from the Great Mushroom War, but are also depicted as green-blue. He has several missing teeth due to biting on various objects. Finn wears a white hat with two 'ears' poking out at the top. The hat only reveals the face. He's clad in a light blue T-shirt, denim shorts, a green backpack, white socks, and a pair of black shoes.

Jake-Finn's best friend/adopted brother and Lady Rainicorn's boyfriend. He can stretch with his powers. But regularly, he is an average sized yellow-orange dog with jowls. His eyes are white, rimmed with black. He can speak Korean to communicate with Lady Rainicorn, whom he likes to play viola with.

Princess Bubblegum-An 18-year-old bubblegum/human hybrid and Finn's crush. She is the ruler of the Candy Kingdom. Princess Bubblegum dresses as a traditional princess in a puffy-sleeved flowing pink gown with pink trim at the sleeves, purple trim at the scoop-neck collar, a purple sash, and a golden tiara with a turquoise gem at the top. Her skin is usually colored light pink. She has long pink bubblegum hair which covers her ears and is actually made of bubblegum.

Ice King-a mentally challenged old man with powers over ice. He kidnaps princesses to marry them. Ice King is a blue, elderly man with unusually pointy fingers, pointy toes, sharp teeth, and a long goblin-like nose. He wears a dark blue tunic and has a large white beard that covers most of his body. Typically, the Ice King's weight varies in different episodes. Though the robe gives him the appearance of a fat and short man, Ice King's body is in fact exceptionally thin, with a very large and defined ribcage.

Lady Rainicorn-Jake's girlfriend and Princess Bubblegum's companion. Lady is a long unicorn-like creature. She has a body with the colors from the rainbow like red, yellow, green, blue and violet. She also has a blonde mane, and big round eyes similar to Jake's. She also has a single white, sharply pointed horn.

ADVENTURE TIME WITH FINN AND JAKE

_Title Card_

_Finn, Princess Bubblegum, and Jake smile and laugh as they ride on Lady Rainicorn's back, the sun shining bright behind him._

It was a bright day in the Candy Kingdom. The sky was a perfect, robin egg blue, without a single cloud. It was warm but not humid, a great day to spend outside, which was what most Candy People were doing. Three people, in particular, were inside.

Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum stood in the castle foyer, preparing for the ball the coming evening. Princess Bubblegum stood a few feet away, in front of a table. The table was packed tight with containers of sprinkles, bags of icing, bowls of candies, sacks of flour, bottles of milk, and cups of other tasty ingredients. Princess Bubblegum was making gingerbread men, currently working on one's gumdrop buttons.

Finn and Jake were standing beside him, helping each other stick the gingerbread men to the ceiling. Finn stood in a stance, and Jake sat a good seven feet in front of him.

"Throw it, man!" Finn exclaimed.

"H-yoop!" Jake brought his arm back and swung the gingerbread man like a baseball.

Finn quickly upercutted the gingerbread man once it was in reach. It darted up into the air and stuck to the ceiling, its jelly-slathered side sticking to the surface. Finn stretched his arm over his back and asked, "Hey, Princess. These gingerbread men aren't...alive, are they?"

"Noooo," Princess Bubblegum hummed, and turned to face them with a gingerbread man in hand. "They can't even talk."

One of the gingerbread man's buttons fell to the floor, and it wailed, "NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTON!"

Princess Bubblegum jumped and slapped her hand over the gingerbread man's mouth. She gave a nervous chuckle and tossed it to Finn. "Here ya go!"

Finn was quick to uppercut the gingerbread man, which joined the others on the ceiling.

"Thanks for helping me out, guys." Princess Bubblegum counted the gingerbread men on the ceiling and added, "I think that's enough."

Jake, who was chewing loudly, paused and said, "Good. That's good." He quickly disposed of the headless gingerbread man in his paw and asked, "What are these little dudes for, anyway?"

"They're decorations for my Triennial Bubblegum Balooza," Princess Bubblegum answered. She clapped her hands in excitement. "Tonight!"

"Sounds like it's gonna be rad," commented Finn. He began stretching out Jake's ears in momentary entertainment.

"Very rad," Princess Bubblegum agreed. "I want you to be there as the guests of honor."

Finn, despite himself, blushed heavily. He reached for Princess Bubblegum's outstretched hand and asked, "You want me to go with you?"

"Gunk yes," Princess Bubblegum exclaimed. She stood up straight, bringing Finn with her. "As my bud! You know, two bud-buds throwin' down like pals who know nuthin else than the hot whip of friendship!"

"Oh," Finn straightened himself to avoid letting his shoulders droop in disappointment. "Right..."

"It's at eight, so don't be late."

The air outside the castle suddenly rumbled, and there was a physical vibration through the building. Through the windows, Jake saw the clouds outside were quickly curling and darkening, the wind increasing quickly. The temperature dropped a sudden thirty degrees, covering Jake's fur-covered skin in goosebumps. He looked over and saw that Finn and Princess Bubblegum were taking no notice in the change of surroundings, instead focusing on the ingredients used to make the gingerbread men. "Finn! We got probs, man! The sky's goin' yoga-balls nuts outside!"

Finn quickly dropped the container of sprinkles in his hands, scattering rainbow-colored flecks across the tiles. "I'll check it out!" He ran to the grand doors leading into the foyer, throwing open the doors.

He skidded to a stop and observed what was going on. You could no longer see a single fleck of blue in the sky. For what seemed like miles, all that was visible was churning, black clouds. The warm air was suddenly icy, chilling his skin. A flake of white brushed past his cheek, and he realized that a light snow had begun. There was a crackle and the clouds flashed a bright blue light of electricity. As he watched, a certain area of the clouds begin to push in on itself, creating a great black knot.

"GET A GRIP, WEATHER!" Finn screamed to the air. His breath came out in a white puff. "OTHERWISE, I'M COMING UP THERE TO KICK YOU IN YOUR STUPID FACE!"

The knot of the clouds burst open, and Finn couldn't help but feel stupid when he saw why this was happening. The Ice King stood in the clearing, cackling maniacally. His bony hands were alit with wavering blue power.

"IT'S ICE KING!" Finn called over the howling wind to the now-present Princess Bubblegum and Jake. "HOLD YOUR GROUND!"

"OUT OF THE WAY, LOVER-BOY!" Ice King called down from the sky. A ball of ice had formed in his hands, rapidly growing bigger and bigger, casting the balcony in a thick black shadow.

"Get back inside!" Finn yelled, and the three friends darted back into the foyer.

No sooner had Finn's foot hit the carpet than a great spike of ice and snow blasted through the wall, the size of a whale. He sprinted forward to avoid being cut by its razor tips. He landed with a skid next to the princess. "Fridge-wuss!"

Ice King attempted to slide down the slope of the spike of ice, but ended up falling flat on his face on the carpet. "Ugh...Jeez..." He picked himself up and brushed off his robe. "That's embarrassing." He looked up at the three friends with a sigh. "So, yeah...Get out of the way, or I'll kill you, you know the drill..."

"Ice King, why are you always sharking on girls?" Finn exclaimed. His glare was as icy as the Ice King's skin.

"You're one to talk," Ice King scoffed. "You have like, what, twelve chicks crushin' on you? Hold on...Princess Bubblegum...Lumpy Space Princess...Slime Princess...Muscle Princess..." Ice King waved his arms in frustration. "Oh, forget it! It won't matter!"

There was a sound like ice grinding on ice, Ice King disappeared behind a wall of snowy blocks of ice. The wall took the shape of a monster, with jagged pieces of ice for teeth and a single frozen eye, standing ten feet tall. Princess Bubblegum let out a yelp of surprise. "IGCLOPS!"

The Igclops's lengthy, ice-brick arm shot out, growing several dozen feet in length, and pounded into Princess Bubblegum, sending her crashing into the wall. The royal ruler disappeared in a sideways dome of igloo blocks.

"Jake! Hammer mode!" yelled Finn.

"Let's do it, man!" Jake quickly molded his stretchy body into the form of a furry ice pick and jumped into Finn's hand. Finn raised him high, estimating his aim, and brought the hammer down.

There was a loud boom, and shards of igloo bricks blasted everywhere. The bricks exploded into tiny, tiny pieces, creating a downfall of snowflakes. The floor was blanketed in a matter of seconds.

Finn wiped the snow that had blasted into his eyes away with the back of his hand and looked around. A heavy coat of icy mist had clouded around him, and his line of sight had been reduced to five feet. Everything else was a white haze.

"You saved me from the Ice King!"

Finn did a one-eighty. Princess Bubblegum was stepping from the haze to smile at him. Her gummy hair and skin was shiny with water, and her dress was flecked with snowflakes. The gem on her tiara twinkled.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Finn chuckled, then frowned and looked around. "Is he gone?"

"He must have fled," Princess Bubblegum quickly replied. Her smile grew, and she said, "Finn, you're amazing. And your eyes are so bright in the snow..."

In Finn's stunned silence, Princess Bubblegum continued, "What're you doing later?"

"You mean before the Balooza?" Finn asked with a prominent blush on his face. Princess Bubblegum nodded energetically. "I was gonna go home. Maybe kill something...A Troll, maybe..."

"Let's go out," Princess Bubblegum said just barely after he said the last syllable.

Finn's head tilted to the side confusedly. "'Go out?'" He parroted.

"Yeah, let's go somewhere! It'll be great!"

"Aaaah-"

"Rad," Jake cut in before Finn could really answer. He stretched up to Finn's height to face the prince.

"Let's meet in the castle gardens in an hour!" Princess Bubblegum beamed joyfully.

"We'll be there!" Jake called as he dragged a frozen Finn out of the foyer.

* * *

><p>"It's a date, man!" Jake exclaimed from the sofa. His legs were propped against the wooden table. They had thirty minutes till they had to meet the prince. Jake had been giving Finn a million tips for the 'date', with Finn reminding Jake a million times that it wasn't a date.<p>

Said human boy had been pacing a rut in the wooden floorboards ever since they returned home. "No, it's not! I know PB, dude. I'm sure when she said 'go out', she meant that she wants us to get some junk for her science or something..."

"Not this time!" Jake fist-pumped the air for emphasis.

"You heard what she said, man!" Finn objected. His shoulders slumped with his next words. "'Two bud-buds'? It's like I'm a gal-friend!"

"Dude, cross my gut, that's gonna change!" exclaimed Jake. He formed his right paw over his stomach in the shape of an 'X'.

"If it's a date, why're you coming?" Finn asked. He himself had to admit he had a good point.

"I'm coming to help you if ya wuss out," answered Jake. Finn only rolled his eyes. "Hold on..."

Jake stretched his arms behind the sofa and took out his recently polished viola and wand. "Imma bring my viola."

Finn rolled his eyes once again. "Dude..."

"It's for romantic pizzaz!" Jake wiggled his fingers at his brother as he tucked his viola into a skin-molded pouch in his back.

"Alright, I'll go," Finn huffed and made his way for the door. Once he opened it, Jake stretched out in front of him into the yard. "If only to prove you tot's wrong."

* * *

><p>Finn lost his determinant demeanor the second they reached the middle of the castle gardens. It was lovely, yes. The leaves were a lush, vibrant emerald green. The beautiful foliage was spotted with Peppermint Phacelias, Lollipop Lillies, and Chocolate Camellias. The air was so sugary-sweet it was almost staggering. Lovely, yes. But the idea of Princess Bubblegum approaching for a 'date' had him on edge.<p>

"Let's bail, man," Finn turned on his heel just as they reached the fern arch. "I changed my mind."

"No way, man!" Jake pulled on the front of Finn's T-shirt, making the human boy crouch down to look his older brother in the eye. "I'm not letting you wuss out now."

"Hello, Finn."

Both boys looked up. Princess Bubblegum had approached in the middle of their conversation, and was now smiling down nicely at them. "And I see you brought Jake!" she chirped.

"That's cool, right?" Finn asked slowly.

"Only if it's cool that I brought..."

A rainbow-unicorn hybrid suddenly swished down from the sky, rainbow colors bright and yellow hair billowing.

"...Lady Rainicorn!"

Jake winked at his girlfriend. "Hiya, sugar."

"꿀, 안녕하세요."

"Here, I made you some tokens of gratitude for showing up," Princess Bubblegum reached into the folds of her skirt and pulled out a rectangular, paper-wrapped box. She opened it and tucked the lid under her arm.

"You didn't have to do anything..." Finn chuckled nervously.

"Nonsense. For you, Jake..." Princess Bubblegum reached into the box and pulled out Jake's present. It looked like a classical heart wrapped in an orange, leather coating. "A heart-shaped orange. Lady grew it herself."

Princess Bubblegum tossed him the orange, and Jake caught it with sparkling eyes. "It's like an edible organ~!"

"And for you, Finn," Princess Bubblegum brought her hand from behind her back and handed Finn's present out to him. It looked like a small shard of sparkling, beautiful diamond.

"Oh, cool," Finn took the shard of diamond in his palm. It was cool to his touch.

"Wait for it..."

Finn felt the crystal in his palm begin to vibrant viciously. A split second later, the crystal had shot out into the form of a sharp, crystal sword. "Whoa! A sword! This is awesome!"

"I know. That's why I got it for you."

"Thanks..." Finn chuckled with a blush on his face. "This is just so...wow..." Finn felt a bit of drool run down his chin as he stared down at the sword in awe.

"The wowiness is just beginning!" Princess Bubblegum sang. She hopped onto Lady Rainicorn's long back with an extravagant wave of her hand. "Come on!"

* * *

><p>DISCREET FLIRTATION TIME!<p>

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later saw the four of them in the middle of a seemingly endless field of grass. Finn sat on the back of a twice-as-normally-sized Jake's back, smiling like an idiot. Lady Rainicorn walked next to them, carrying Princess Bubblegum as the royal hummed.<p>

"Psst, Finn."

Finn leaned in closer to hear Jake's whispering voice. "What?"

"Tell you you think she's _fiiiiine_."

"Ugh. Shut up, man."

"GIRLS LIKE TO HEAR THAT THEY'RE FINE!"

"Hey, Finn."

Finn looked up at Princess Bubblegum's smiling face, pretty as ever in the bright sunshine. "Wassup?"

"How 'bout a race?" the princess offered. She leaned back, propping herself up on her arms behind her back.

"Cool," Finn smiled in answer. He was always up for a good race. Especially with the princess.

"Let's race up to Pepperminty Promontory."

"Alright, but be warned, I'm gonna kick your butt," Finn answered. He realized what he said a moment too late, and his face flushed a dark, dark red. "Not that I was thinking about kicking your butt..."

"Let's go. HYAH!"

Princess Bubblegum gave Lady Rainicorn a very light kick to the side. The rainbow-unicorn hybrid took off in a colorful stream, literally living Finn and Jake in the dust.

"AFTER YOUR LADY, FINN!" Jake exclaimed just before taking off after his girlfriend.

Finn let out a yelp of surprise and scrambled to catch onto Jake's fur, hunching forward for safety. The wind whipped past them and the grass became a green blur beneath them. A good minute passed until the end of Lady Rainicorn's long body came into view, stretching and stretching until Finn could see the princess. A few seconds later and they were neck-and-neck.

The ground begin to elevate slowly, and Jake lurches to the side, digging his paws into the ground to skid. Lady Rainicorn did the same, and soon, they were both standing still.

Princess Bubblegum and Finn hopped off, panting heavily. They hunched over with their hands on their knees.

"Good...race..." Princess Bubblegum wheezed.

"You...too..." Finn replied slowly.

"Why are you guys so tired if we were the ones running?" Jake panted, giving the two a look of annoyance. Lady Rainicorn mimicked it almost perfectly.

The four of them took in the view of the Promontory. Down below, the fields of grass stretched on and on until they cut short into a jungle, a wide strip of rich green on the horizon. Gusts of wind made the grass dance in waves. The sky faded into white at the jungle's treetops.

The Promontory itself had a more childlike, dreamy look to it. Peppermint Phacelias, Pansies, and Poppies covered most, if not all, of the soft green grass, coating the earth in red-and-white spots. A tall tree stood about eleven feet away, its limbs long and twisted its bark replaced with white and red stripes. The minty smell in the air was almost staggering.

Finn heard a rhythmic humming next to him. He turned to look at the princess and saw she was humming a song to herself. Something caught her eye, and she turned and walked away. The hem of her dress disappeared into the peppermint flowers as she stepped into the small field.

And then, suddenly, her body disappeared into the earth.

"BUBBLEGUM!" Finn almost broke a leg scrambling after the princess. He jumped into the flowers after her, his body disappearing.

The plush flowers, soft grass, and minty smell vanished. Finn found himself falling through the cold air, no earth or floor beneath him. The light of the outside world minimized dramatically.

He stopped falling just a moment later. He landed on his rear end on hard-packed earth, his shorts and pants painted in brown. He looked up. He seemed to be in a large, under-earth cavern. A large hole in the 'ceiling' was allowing a considerable amount of sunlight into the cavern, stained white and red through the flowers. The walls, ceiling, and ground were all made of moist dirt.

Princess Bubblegum stood beside him, smiling down brightly. "Sorry for freaking. I thought you'd like this dungeon I found."

Finn looked around and gasped in wonder. So it wasn't a cavern. The ceiling, walls, and ground were still made of dirt, but that wasn't all that was in the room Several weapons were scattered around, sharp-bladed and heavy-weighted. Multiple, rusted cages lay crumpled in the dirt. Jagged stalagmites rose from the earth. Dark, round, barred windows were embedded in the walls. A tunnel was in the left wall, its mouth topped with a large, shiny, skull-shaped decoration with barred windows for eyes. The small number of jail cells were either caved in or infested with rodents and insects. A guillotine lay broken about twenty feet away, and Fionna could see a tall iron maiden in the darkness, half-eroded away.

Jake's stretched head poked in from the hole in the ceiling, smiling broadly. "Finn digs dungeons," he stated.

"Yeah, they're cool," Finn said. Princess Bubblegum stepped away and Finn turned to see where she was going. He gasped excitedly when he saw the twelve-foot-high, rusted gold, hollow replica of an animal. "Whoa! Brazen bull!"

Princess Bubblegum was climbing up the rickety ladder propped against the bull, looking into the open hatch in its side. She reached into it, searching for something.

And fell in.

Finn dashed over, jumped into the bull's hatch, and pulled the princess out. He made sure she had no injuries on herself before sighing in relief. "Whoo! You scared me."

"Sorry. I saw this diamond dodecagon in there," Princess Bubblegum held up the three-dimensional, twelve-sided, sparkling diamond up for him to see. It shined even in the dim light. "It reminded me of your eyes...The way they shine when you're happy..." as she spoke, her own purple-pink eyes began to glimmer.

Finn blushed, and true to the princess's word, his green-blue eyes shined. "Oh..."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later saw the four friends outside, riding on Lady Rainicorn's back through the air. The sky had begun to darken into a mix of orange and indigo. The air was cool against Finn's cheek. He sat next to the princess, and Jake sat a good six feet behind them to give them space.<p>

Several more minutes of peaceful silence passed before Princess Bubblegum said, "Finn." When she saw she had his attention, she said, "There's something I want to tell you...

_I feel like nothing was real until I met you."_

Jake gave a silent gasp and scurried to grab his viola, chuckling excitedly.

_"I feel like we connect, and I really get you."_

Jake began to drag the wand of his viola across the strings, letting out melodious notes that filled the air rushing past them.

_"If I said, 'You're a wonderful friend,' would it upset you?_

_Because the way you are tonight_

_So entergetic_

_I'll never forget it._

_Ohhhhh_

_Ohhh _

_Finn"_

Finn looked up, still blushing brightly, at the sky and jumped to his feet. A great flock of beach-ball-sized, softly rounded, feather-winged creatures with small eyes and big mouths were floating in their direction. Finn pulled out his diamond sword in instinct.

_"Your fist as touched my heart"_

One of the round, winged creatures drifted close to them, and, when it bared its teeth at them. Finn sliced it in half with his sword easily. The two halves of the creature drifted several feet behind them before exploding in a blossom of bright cyan.

Finn smiled. More creatures approached, sharp teeth bared and wings flapping. He held his sword firmly.

_"Ohhh_

_Ohhh_

_Finn"_

Finn sliced at the creatures easily, the blade of his sword passing through their bodies like soft paper. He watched the blooms of color they erupted into. Cyan, pink, dark blue. The sparks they emitted felt like cool droplets of water to Finn's skin, but when they hit the other creatures, they exploded as well. Purple, yellow, green. Over and over, so bright.

Finn looked away from the blossoms of color to look at the princess, who had stood to face him correctly. She was smiling softly. The lights that came from the explosions danced in her eyes.

_"I won't let anything in this world keep us apart."_

Finn smiled, joining in the last verse as Lady Rainicorn twisted her long body into a loop.

_"I won't let anything in this world keep us apart."_

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, when the sky had gone dark blue, speckled with silver stars, Lady Rainicorn's body began to drift towards the dark fields of grass below. Finn didn't know what time it was. It had to be before eight. Maybe it was five, or six. Maybe seven. Lady Rainicorn slung the princess and Finn onto the grass carefully.<p>

Princess Bubblegum and Finn, who were both laughing like deranged jackals, continued to laugh even when they hit the soft grass next to a small, frog-filled pond.

Finn's face was flushed pink from his mirth. "Glob, man...That was the cheesiest thing evah."

Jake had scooted closer to Lady Rainicorn's head and was now sitting on her shoulders. He smiled down at his brother and friend. "Meet ya at the Treehouse, man."

He gave Finn a very obvious wink. Finn's blush mixed with his flush.

* * *

><p>Finn and the Princess stayed laying in the grass for a long time, laughing and giggling. They took turns cracking jokes and telling stories. They had a fun game of 'Would You Rather,' in which Finn proved himself to have better questions, although the princess had a few good ones. A small competition of 'Who Can Throw the Rock into the Pond Farther?' was also thrown in.<p>

When their laughs turned to chuckles, Finn sighed and said, "I've been thinking about it, and I guess I would drink peanut butter. If I had to, I mean."

It had been one of the Princess's 'Would You Rather' questions: Would you rather drink peanut butter or kiss a goblin? Finn had asked for a few extra minutes to consider, in which they continued to talk. Princess Bubblegum giggled cheerily, and panted, "OK, OK." She smiled and said, "Now. You ask me something."

Finn thought hard. What would be a good one? Would you rather have scaly skin or no eyeballs? Would you rather lose all your hair for life or all your skin for a week? Would you jump off a cliff or swim with sharks?

In the end, though, Finn's smile disappeared and he asked, "Is this a date?"

Princess Bubblegum laughed out loud, and Finn blushed in embarrassment, not knowing if it was a 'of-course-not!' laugh or a 'of-course!' laugh. The princess stood up and helped Finn to his feet with little effort. Her smile vanished to a serious frown. "Finn. I want you to come to the Balooza with me."

"Uh...as your bud?"

"No. As my...boyfriend."

* * *

><p>Jake grunted in effort as he shot the control stick back and forth, left and right, connected to BMO. A half-empty bag of pepper-chili chips and an empty, crinkled can of <em>Peppio! <em>soda were next to him. His legs were propped on the table on either side of BMO. It had been almost an hour since Finn and Princess Bubblegum had stayed at the pond and Rainicorn had left, and he was starting to wonder when they would return.

Suddenly, the door burst open loudly and Jake jumped. Fin stood there, looked so panicked he seemed a bit deranged.

"IT _**WAS**_ A DATE!" Finn cried in a very high-pitched voice. "WE WERE SINGING AND JUNK!"

"Dude, I was there for that!" Jake tossed the control stick aside and sat up straighter. "What happened when I _wasn't _there?"

"SHE WANTS ME TO GO TO THE BALOOZA WITH HER _**AS HER BOYFRIEEEEEND!"**_

"FRIGGITS, MAN!" Jake jumped to his feet, grabbed Finn with enlarged paws and practically chucked him up the ladder to the bedroom. "It's almost eight! We gotta get you a tux! We can do this!"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Finn was dressed and ready for the Balooza. The tux Jake had set out for him was pure white, with a pale pink button-up shirt and a gold bow-tie. He had kept his booties, much to Jake's suave annoyance. Jake had accomplished in turning Finn's waist-length hair into a smooth, gelled combed-back style, but his efforts went to waste when Finn pulled his hat on top of it. Finn continued to run his hands over his pants for larger pockets, an annoyed expression on his features. "How am I gonna get my sword in this?"<p>

"You're not gonna need your sword!" Jake scoffed. "It's a Balooza and everyone's gonna think you're crazy."

"I'm taking the diamond sword," Finn replied, and searched through his fallen backpack until he found the pinky-sized piece of diamond.

"Let's go, man!" Jake yelled as he slapped on his own white bow tie.

* * *

><p>The Candy Kingdom was entirely bare and unpopulated, save fore the castle itself. Every light in the castle was on, even those that weren't being used. Banners bridged between the towers, confetti covered the floors, and steamers hung from every raised surface. An orchestra of music filled the air, accompanied by cheers and laughter.<p>

The Castle gardens was the center of the party. As Jake slowed to a stop and Finn hopped off his back, Finn stopped under the balloon arch stretched his head to see where the princess was. He saw a few familiar faces, including LSP, Marceline (who he waved to), and Tree Trunks. He finally caught sight of her, talking to Cinnamon Bun and LSP. The Princess saw him, too, and smiled, excusing herself from the conversation and walking over. The crowd parted like the Red Sea for her. Finally, she was in front of him, smiling. "I've been looking for you."

"Well," Finn let out a breathy chuckle, his arms crossed tight behind his back. "Here I am."

The Princess let out a short but joyful laugh. Then, she took hold of Finn's arm and began to pull him away. "C'mon, I wanna show you something."

"See ya later, man!" Jake called after his adopted brother. He turned and walked into the throng of Candy People and other guests, looking for Lady Rainicorn.

* * *

><p>Two staircases, three corridors, and a hundred rooms later, Princess Bubblegum finally came to a stop in front of a tall, blue-painted wooden door and pushed it open, letting Finn step inside first.<p>

Finn looked around. The room was unlit, the only light coming from the window, a mix of moonlight and pulsing, multi-colored flashes from the party below. The room was filled with many wooden crates pressed against the walls, some with out lids to see the contents inside. Paintings, toys, garments of clothes, an old exercise machine, a washing machine, and other items were scattered about in blankets of thick dust.

Finn confusedly craned his head above the crates, looking for something at least a little cool-looking. "Whyyy are we in the attic?"

Finn heard the door click behind him. Princess Bubblegum had locked it. "Finn."

Finn turned around. Princess Bubblegum was just starting at him, eyes blank and mouth in a straight line. Her arms hung limp at her sides. Then, slowly, she bent over, grabbing the hem of her gown and pulling it up.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Finn stumbled back immediately, face flushed a bloody red color and his arms waving around maniacally. "PRINCESS-"

Something cold and wet hit his shoulder. He looked up.

Princess Bubblegum stared back at him from the ceiling, her mouth frozen in a silent scream because of the block of hard ice imprisoning her.

Finn gawked in horror. "WHAT?!"

"Ugh...dagnabbit...c'mon."

Finn looked back down at 'Princess Bubblegum.' The gown had been pulled up to her waist, but instead of what Finn had expected, there was another skirt underneath: a long, blue skirt, dusted in frost.

No. No, no, no.

Yes. The Ice King stripped off the last of his disguise with a final grunt, flinging the limp shell into the corner. "Woo. What a workout." He looked up at Finn and smiled. "Oh, hi. ZAP!"

Finn dodged to the left as a blast of icy lightning nearly tore him in two. It did, however, tear off the right side of his white jacket. A good foot was now missing, the torn ends charred blue. Finn glowered at the Ice King. "WHAT THE CRUDGE, MAN? THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

No later had he said this than he felt himself rising into the air. A small but thick mound of ice was lifting him quickly into the air.

"YOU'RE THE ONLY THING BETWEEN ME AND MY WIFE!" Ice King yelled, slamming his hands into the floorboards.

A shock rippled through the floor, absorbing into the mound of ice. Several deadly-sharp spikes of ice shot out from around Finn in an attempted to spear him. The attack was useless, as it didn't hurt him. Instead, it only succeeded in tearing off half of his left pants leg, the rest of his jacket, and his bow tie. He tore off the pieces of fabric keeping him to the spikes and jumped off of the mound.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I BELIEVED THIS!" He yelled once he landed on the floor. "I PUT ON A TUX FOR THIS FLIM-FLAM!" Finn stopped, his eyes wide. "Tux. My sword!"

He quickly dug into the pocket of his torn pants and took out the small piece of diamond he had been given. It immediately shot out into a blade, which he pointed at the Ice King menacingly

Ice King giggled. "Psyche!"

Finn was about to ask him what he meant when the diamond blade suddenly turned into a sphere around Finn's hands, imprisoning them. Finn scolded himself. Why else would the Ice King give him a weapon?

He screamed in frustration.

* * *

><p>Down at the garden, Jake's ear perked up. He could of sworn he heard Finn scream just now. He craned his neck above the crowd, trying to find where his brother was. His eyes drifted up to the attic tower of the castle. He just barely saw several flakes of snow drift out of the window.<p>

"Finn?"

* * *

><p>Back upstairs, Ice King laughed manically. His laugh was cut off when something hard and cold hit him hard on the head. "Wha-Ooh!" He grunted again as the thing hit his head again. Finn had pounced on the Ice King and was now continuously hitting him over and over on his head with his ice-cuffs.<p>

Ice King hissed and blasted Finn away with a gust of icy blizzard wind. Finn soared through the air, flipping over with his legs apart. He wrapped his legs around the real Princess Bubblegum's ice-prison, gripping as hard as he could before hitting the ice with his cuffs.

Finally, the ice broke apart and Finn found himself falling through the air. He landed on his feet and quickly caught Princess Bubblegum in his arms. The Princess took a deep breath of fresh air and gasped, "Oh my goodness!"

Ice King cried out in anger. "ARE YOU KIDDIN-Oh boy."

No sooner had he said this than the remains of the Princess's ice prison rained down on him, crushing him to the floor.

Finn helped Princess Bubblegum to her feet. There was a moment of awkward silence, and Finn wondered if the Princess knew what had been happening the past day.

BANG BANG BANG

The two whirled around to the door, which was almost bursting from its jamb.

The door burst open, and Jake, the size of a killer whale and his eyes flashing suspicious anger, yelled, "WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?"

Jake stopped short and shrank down to his original height. The princess stood next to Finn, her dress tattered at the hem and soaking wet, her tiara lopsided on her gummy hair. The right sleeve of Finn's pants was missing, his jacket and bow tie were gone, and his button-down hung on him loosely.

Jake glared at Finn in obvious, scolding fury. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TIER 15?!"

"Jake, no!" Finn waved his arms around in defiance. "It was the Ice Queen!"

At this exact moment, a huge arm made of solid ice grabbed Jake around his middle and lifted him into the air, slamming him hard into the floor. Jake grunted in pain and Finn cried out, "JAKE!"

The Ice King cackled evilly, his arm extended into the ice one holding Jake down, only to cut off short when Finn socked him right in the face. The Ice King fell back, his ice-arm disappearing, and landed on his rear end. "Ah! My maximus!" Ice King raised his hand to smack Finn with an icicle, but all that came out was a puff of cold air. He paused, confused, then patted his head. No crown. "Oh, no! My cro-OW!"

Finn grabbed the Ice King by the front of his robe, raised him into the air, and punched him hard in the nose. The Ice King was instantly knocked out cold (no pun intended) and crumpled to the floor in a heap.

As Ice King lay on the floor with a stream of drool pouring from his mouth, a thick jet of snow blasted him in the face. Finn looked up and saw Jake standing up on seven-foot-tall, stretched legs, the Ice King's crown between his ears and his paws extended as the jet of snow blasted from them. "POWER OF FROOOOST!"

Finn quickly pulled him down and swatted the crown off his head as if it were a bug. Jake gave him a _you-ruin-all-the-fun _look. "You'll catch his lame, man."

As Jake sulked away, Princess Bubblegum smiled at Finn with sparkling eyes. "That was amazing, Finn. We should meet up sometime. For a-"

"No, Princess," Finn shook his head quickly, small hat-ears flopping. "I'm sorry, but these last disgusting hours of my life have made me realize something. I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm not ready for dates, and hugs, and discreet flirting. I need to take my time and not rush myself. I hope you understand."

Princess Bubblegum's look of _what-are-you-talking-about_ quickly turned to a look of _are-you-kidding-me_. "Finn, I was just going to say we should meet up for a party. Like we do every time you do something for me."

Finn's face was expressionless.

"Oh."

He rubbed his neck and the princess crossed her arms, staring at the floor. Finn smiled and said, "But y'know what? There's one girl I _would_ like to date."

Princess Bubblegum's eyes widened in pleasant surprise. "Who?"

"...THE ICE QUEEN!"

"WHAT?!"

Jake danced into the picture then, his face one of dopey infatuation. "Oh, yeah. The Ice Queen is _fiiiiiine_."

Lady Rainicorn popped through the floorboards then, smiling goofily. "우리는 얼음 여왕, 당신을 사랑합니다."

Finn sighed, and continued, "The Ice Queen is the hottest hottie in the world. We're gonna get married and have seven babies named Nathan, Christa, Leo-"

* * *

><p>"-OH MY GLOB!" Fionna sat up straight in bed. The room was dark in the night, the moonlight dim and pale. Her pajamas stuck to her skin like Papier Mâché, and her skin was slick with sweat. Her hair was stiff and hay-like under her bunny-hat. She forgot how to breath for a moment, and when she finally did, she let out several small, secondary screams.<p>

Cake sat up in her drawer-bed, her nonexistent eyebrows raised in surprise and fear. "What is it?"

"I-I HAD THIS MESSED UP DREAM, CUPCAKE! WE WERE DUDES! AND PRINCE GUMBALL WAS A GIRL AND THE ICE QUEEN WAS A GUY AND BEEMA...Well, Beema was pretty much the same. BUT IT WAS SO MESSED UP BECAUSE WE WERE ACTING SO WEIRD AND I THOUGHT PRINCE GUMBALL WAS HOT, AND-AND-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cake waved her furry arms to cease the girl's babbling. When she stopped, she asked, "Did you eat ice cream before bed again?"

"...a little..."

"Mm-hm, that's what I thought." Cake sighed and turned over in her drawer. "Just go back to sleep. It was just a dream."

Fionna remained standing for a moment, wide-eyed and still panicked, but she told herself to calm down. It was just a dream. An ice-cream dream that meant nothing.

Finally, she laid back down on her pillow.

* * *

><p>At the exact moment the Ice Queen stood up from hers.<p>

"...GUNTA, GET MY LAPTOP!"


	61. What Was Missing

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

**Marshal Lee**—is a counterpart of Marceline. He has the same abilities as Marceline. Marshall Lee has pointy ears and light blue skin. His hair is shorter than Marceline's but he has a matching permanent bite mark. He initially wore a grey plaid shirt, but now wears a red and black plaid shirt. He also wears dark blue jeans, and brownish-white sneakers. His outfits differ in the episodes, though, like Prince Gumball. Though Marceline has circle-shaped eyes, his eyes are rectangular. Unlike Marceline's forked, snake-like tongue, Marshall Lee's tongue is rounded. Marshall Lee is a wild rock star. Centuries of wandering the Land of Aaa have made him a fearless daredevil. He and Marceline both have regular electric bass guitars.

**BEEMA**—it isn't necessarily gender-swapped. I mean, can you really tell if it's a boy or a girl? :P

Portal Lady-A character that steals people's belongings to teach them a lesson. She has the ability to appear and disappear in a swirl of purple color. She looks similar to Ki, with the same skin color, tubby cheeks, and red cap on her head, but taller and with more muscle mass. Her legs are triple-jointed, and she has long, gangly arms. She wears a small red bodysuit and a red cap, above which hovers an orb of purple color. She wears a large knapsack and a purple pendant necklace. She doesn't speak, but rather, she makes strange noises that are beyond comprehension.

WHAT WAS MISSING?

_Title Card_

_Fionna and Cake stumble through the abyss of portals, screaming in fright and anger._

"Cupcake?"

Fionna cupped her hands around her mouth to throw her voice. She heard the clock ticking, the hum of the refrigerator, and the one crack of a nearby floorboard. But the voice of her older, adoptive sister did not answer.

"Beema? You here?"

The video game console's electronic voice did not reply, either.

Fionna carefully crept over to the sofa, stood up on its soft cushions, and lifted up the merman painting above it on the wall. She found her searched-for item: a wad of mushy, pink bubblegum, which was actually Prince Gumball's hair. She had kept the wad ever since he gave it to her in her search of hair for the Bush Wizard. Secretly, of course. Glob knows what would happen if Cake or Beema found out.

She sat back down behind the sofa, her back against it, running a finger over the gum wad. Sticky but smooth, sugary-smelling. Just like him. She sighed, and held the wad close to her heart.

"WHAT CHA DOING, GIRL?"

Fionna shrieked and almost dropped the wad of gum, fumbling with it with her hands. She span around, and sure enough, Cake was standing over her, slightly enlarged and smiling. Beema sat next to her on the sofa's back. "Cupcake!" A pink blush bloomed on her skin.

"Don't worry, sis," Cake hurtled over the sofa back as Beema plopped down next to Fionna. "We won't tell anyone about the love-time you spend with PG's hair. Right, Beema?"

"Yes, Cake," Beema nodded. "We won't tell anyone about how Fionna speaks of her emotions to the piece of Prince Gumball's hair when she believes we are not hiding and listening."

Fionna's chin plopped onto her chest as she twisted the hair wad in her fingers. "You guys do that?"

"We are you're family!" Cake scolded, then smiled. "Which is why I'm gonna share my beloved keepsake...with YOU!"

Cake stretched over the sofa to one particularly large root in the floor, in which was a large nook-like hole. She reached in side and produced what looked like an old stuffed rabbit. It was a heavily faded pink color, covered in multiple, pathetic stitches. What looked like a black eye-patch was sewn onto the right side of its face.

Fionna said nothing. "Wuzzat."

"This is my-"

Cake cut off as a loud sound filled the room. It sounded very much like a mix or whirring, churning, and wavering sound-waves. A ball of purple light suddenly appeared, bright and swirling. The ball of light suddenly exploded and took the form of an odd, female creature. She stood four heads over Fionna, with pale yellow skin, chubby cheeks, and thin, gangly arms and triple-jointed long legs. A small, patchy red bodysuit covered her torso. A small red cap was on her head, above which was a small orb of purple light similar to the one that had just appeared. A large, canary yellow knapsack was slung on her back, and a purple pendant necklace hung around her thin neck. She smiled at them all. "#^$(&$~" she said. "^(#$^T !"

Fionna, Cake, and Beema jumped high in the air. "Who are you?" Fionna demanded.

The woman jumped three feet into the air and landed in front of Cake. She ripped the stuffed rabbit from Cake's paws and pushed the feline to the floor.

Cake looked up at Fionna with pleading eyes. "I got decked, Fifi."

Fionna glared at the woman and clenched her fist. The hair wad mushed in her grip. "Miss, you and I are throwin' dukes."

The woman looked up at Fionna and smiled. She frog-hopped over Cake's body and snatched the wad of gum-hair out of Fionna's fingers.

Fionna gasped. "My gum-lock!"

The woman looked over at Beema, and then at the joystick plugged into her. She ripped it out of the plug-in. Beema reached out for it with small arms, wailing "Nooo!" as 'D8' flashed on her screen, showing pathetic distress.

The woman threw her purple pendant across the room, and another ball of purple power appeared on the where it landed, little shafts of sunlight streaking out from its matter. The woman saluted to them like a soldier before hopping into it. Her form disappeared with a pop.

"C'mon!" Fionna waved a hand to her sister and computer console, hurtled over the sofa, and darted for the orb of purple light. Cake quickly lifted Beema up from its feet, carrying it on her back piggyback-style, and dashed after her sister.

When Fionna jumped into the 'portal', it actually didn't feel as weird as she expected. It felt like she had jumped through an inch-thick wall of water and reappeared on the other side. When she looked around, she saw that they had landed on one of the many rolling hills surrounding their Treehouse. A little cream-puff girl was playing with a blond-haired doll cheerily. The portal-controlling woman dashed by her, snatching the doll from her hands, causing the little girl to flinch.

Fionna ran past her, proclaiming, "I'll get your girl back, doll!"

The portal woman stopped in her tracks and turned to face them, a dopey smile on her face. Was she surrendering? Fionna guessed so and exclaimed, "Stay where you are, Crazy-Legs!"

"#^(%&#" the portal woman simply said, and took off her pendant (which had reappeared) and tossed it into the air, ten feet above. Another purple orb appeared there, and she jumped straight up, vanishing into it.

Fionna and Cake gawked.

"Who do you think her personal trainer is?" Cake whispered, almost dropping Beema

The three of them jumped into the portal.

When they reappeared, Fionna recognized the graham cracker floors, fondue wall trimmings and sugary-sweet aroma. They were somewhere inside the Candy Castle. But when she looked around, Fionna couldn't find the portal woman.

Suddenly, from an open door to Fionna's right, the portal woman dashed out, her pendant in hand. Something else was in her hands, too, but they couldn't see it before she stuffed it into her knapsack. Prince Gumball ran after her, in a Heliotrope-and-Fandango hoodie, Hot Magenta T-shirt, Fandango jeans, and Amaranth pink boots. "Get back here, ya stealing wingnut!"

Before he could catch her, the portal woman threw her pendant across the room and jumped into the portal that appeared.

Prince Gumball let out an infuriated growl. "YOU BOOB!"

"C'mon, Gumball," Fionna told him as she ran past him, pumping her fists as she did so. Cake, still carrying Beema, quickly followed.

"Fionna?" inquired the prince. But he quickly dashed after them, nonetheless.

"Let's all get 'er!" yelled Fionna as she was sucked into the portal.

They reappeared in a room with blood red walls, a pitch black carpet floor, two leather couches, an old jukebox, a small TV and pictures on the wall. Fionna recognized it as Marshall Lee's house by those familiar pieces and, of course, the fact that Marshall Lee himself was in the room.

In a button-up red shirt, long-sleeved white undershirt, high-waisted blue jeans, and brown boots, Marshall Lee was swinging his Morning Star guitar at the portal woman infuriatingly, growling in rage when the woman dodged again and again. In between two vicious dodges, the portal woman flung her pendant down to the floor.

Another orb appeared, sunlight filtering through it. It hit Marshall Lee's skin, and he immediately cowered away, his skin red and boiled where the sunlight touched it, hissing in pain.

Fionna instantly fell on her knees next to him. "Marshall Lee! Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," Marshall Lee grunted. His boils and red patches were already beginning to disappear. "What a boob..."

"Don't worry, we'll get her," Fionna said before she jumped into the portal after the portal woman.

They landed somewhere icy cold and sunny. The ground was blanketed in thick snow, and flecks of ice drifted through the air. Fionna instantly shivered and squeezed her eyes tight. When she reopened them, she saw they they were in a mountain-like area. She wasn't sure if they were in the Ice Kingdom or not. She saw the portal woman running through the thick snow on her long legs, and ran after her. A shivering Cake a chilled Prince Gumball, and an unaffected Beema followed her. Marshall Lee appeared out of the portal a few seconds later, in a large straw hat and gardening gloves to protect himself from the sun, his guitar in hand.

They ran after the portal woman for a while, both their and the woman's feet sinking in the snow, slowing them down equally. The woman took the pendant off of her neck and threw it in front of her. A purple portal appeared at once, and she threw herself into it.

Oddly, though, instead of disappearing, the orb remained there. Thick, square shapes protruded from it, clambering and squeezing into one another until they begin to take a shape. The shape grew and grew, brown and black until it finally finished.

A twelve-foot-tall, five-foot-wide crate stood in front of them now. Thick black chains wrapped around it, meeting in a thick black lock. The wooden pattern of the crate looked very much like small faces. Fionna grabbed at the chains and pulled, but it was as if they were fused to the wood. As she growled in annoyance, glowing gold letters appeared at the top of the crate. Fionna read them out loud.

_This portal shall act to no command, save for a tune by a...genuine band._

"What is this clipper clap?" Fionna threw her arms into the air.

"It's a portal of a Portal Lady, Fionna," Prince Gumball wheezed when he caught up. He gripped his shoulders, obviously affected by the chilly weather. "We used to just lock them up, but they kept escaping. Because they're Portal Ladies."

Marshall Lee scoffed and leaned on his guitar. "They broke out because you didn't kill them."

Prince Gumball huffed and glared at the vampire king.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Fionna waved her arms to catch their attention. She pointed at the wooden crate. "That hag is in _there_. So we gotta put our heads together and get inside. So we can get our ha...stuff back." She coughed in embarrassment and smiled at them. "So what did she steal from you guys?"

Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee stared at her for a long moment, like deer caught in headlights. Marshall Lee's eyes darted immensely to the left, picking at the strings of his guitar as he made an "uhhh" sound. At the same time, Prince Gumball gripped his elbows tightly. "I...can't say I recall..." he muttered.

"I ain't ashamed," Cake shrugged and smiled at Fionna. "Alls she got from me was old Count Bumberbatch. From my kitty days."

Marshall Lee made a "ohhh" sound and Prince Gumball sighed. "I'm so sorry, Cake..."

Cake sighed and nodded, turning around in the snow to pace. "Sure, it's irreplaceable and has a ton of sentimental value-"

"Cupcake..." Fionna began. She was currently pulling her yellow sweater over her head to protect her from the cold.

"-But whatevs!" Cake smiled like a Cheshire cat and did a little cheery gig. "Fionna's thing is WAAAAY more embarrassing!" Fionna blanched in horror.

Before Cake could reveal 'Fionna's thing', Marshall Lee scoffed and said, "It doesn't matter what got stolen."

Prince Gumball nodded and smiled. "Agreed. Retrieving our junk with all expedience is what's vital." He leaned forward to the two girls, whispering behind his hand and giving Marshall Lee a skunk-eye. "So I can get away from the Train-Wreck King as soon as possible."

Marshall Lee's vampire ears must have heard the prince's whisper, because he gave Prince Gumball a very nasty glare.

"Alright, then!" announced Fionna. The last thing they needed right now was a fist fight. She reached into her backpack and pulled out two blankets, one brown and one gray, and handed them to Prince Gumball and Cake. Marshall Lee was obviously unaffected by the icy surroundings. "Let's music this crate open!"

"I got this!" Cake put a paw in the air excitedly. Her eyes were sparkling and her tail was trembling. Quickly, she reached behind Fionna into the green backpack and produced her hammered dulcimer. She set it down in the snow, tied her blanket under her chin, and gripped the hammers, counting under her breath before starting.

Lovely, melodic tunes emitted from the plucked strings, mixing in with the snow that fell. Fionna let this go on for a while before she began to clap her hands with the rhythm, nodding her head to the beat.

Prince Gumball had an amused smile on his lips as he shook his head at the girls. Marshall Lee bit his lip to keep down a laugh as he said, "I don't think it's working, girls." He flew over to them and pointed at the wood of the crate, more specifically one of the many '-_-' faces on it. "I don't think the crate likes it."

Fionna stopped clapping and Cake stopped plucking at the dulcimer. Fionna frowned and asked, "What are we doing wrong?"

Marshall Lee leaned back in midair and pointed up at the golden scrawl on the wood. "The crate says it'll open for a genuine _band_. Claps and a toy harp won't work."

Cake loudly gasped in offense of her dulcimer being called a 'toy harp' and opened her mouth to retort. Instead, Fionna pulled Cake back and said, "No, Cupcake. He's right. We're gonna have to quintet this crate if we want our stuff back. There is no 'I' in band. Apparently."

Cake raised a paw in the air, to which Fionna nodded. "Can I be the brainy snoot in the band? Because that's an important part of a band's success." She said this with a slight accent and raised nose.

Marshall Lee floated higher into the air, adjusting the strings of his guitar. "I'll be the leader."

At this, Prince Gumball took a hand out of his gray blanket and tried to say, "Perhaps _I_-"

Marshall Lee completely ignored him and smirked down at the two sisters. "I know how to get this door open." He began to pick at his guitar in deep, soft notes. "We're gonna lay down a chill jam..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Fionna nodded so much and so fast it's a surprise her head didn't pop off.

Marshall Lee waved a hand at her in a silent 'calm down'. "Just keep it cool." He smirked down at Prince Gumball. "Understand, your royal highness?"

Prince Gumball grumbled at the sarcastic tone in the vampire king's voice, but stooped down and picked Beema from the snowy ground. He took off the plastic face off of the computer console (Beema's screen gave off a pixelized blush) and sat down on a large stone behind him. He began to pick and press Beema's inside cords and switches. Electronic blips, beeps, and whirs came out in a nice rhythm. Beema giggled.

"Let us see if we can maintain our raw talent," drawled Cake. She waved one of her hammers around like a teacher's wand.

Fionna quickly reached into her backpack and took out her cordless, battery-running microphone. She began to beat-box in a fitting beat.

Marshall Lee, continuously playing his guitar, drifted higher and higher into the air. He began to sing in a slow, soft tune.

_"La da da da da,_

_I'm gonna bury you in the ground,_

_La da da da da,_

_I'm gonna bury you with my sound, _

_I'm gonna drink the red from your little pink face,_

_I'm gonna..."_

Before Marshall Lee could finish his line, Prince Gumball sharply looked up from Beema and sternly said, "Marshall Lee, that's rather dismal for a song."

Marshall Lee gave Prince Gumball a look icier than the snow around them. Flashing sharp fangs, he asked, "You don't like that?" Then, with his forked tongue darting between his teeth, he hissed, "Or do you just not like _me_?"

Before anyone could react, Marshall Lee did a midair back-flip and landed on top of the crate, his heels on the edge of the wood. The beat of his previous song got slightly faster and lower. He gave Prince Gumball a nasty smile as he began a new song.

_"Sorry I don't treat you like you're a god_

_Is that what you want me to do?_

_Sorry I don't treat you like you're perfect_

_Like all your little loyal subjects do."_

Marshall Lee lazily walked across the edge of the crate with his eyes closed.

_"Sorry I'm not made of sugar_

_And I'm not sweet enough for you._

_Is that why you always avoid me?_  
><em>Because I'm such an inconvenience to you?"<em>

Marshall Lee opened one eye to look at Prince Gumball. The royal's pink eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was in a deep, open-mouthed frown. Just the kind of reaction Marshall Lee wanted. He smirked, floated down in front of the crate, and quickly continued to the chorus, arching his back.

_"Well_

_I'm just your problem_

_I'm just your problem_

_It's like I'm not_

_Even a person, am I?_

_I'm just your problem"_

As Marshall Lee continued, Prince Gumball grumbled under his breath. All Fionna heard was 'sounds horrible.'

_"Well _

_I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn't have to justify what I do_

_I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn't have to prove anything to you"_

Fionna tore her eyes away from Marshall Lee to the crate behind him and jumped high. She gave Prince Gumball a big smile and exclaimed, "It's working! Look at the door!" Sure enough, all of the faces that had previously been '-_-' were now '0o0', with big smiles. Their open mouths were letting out beams of bright white light.

_"I'm sorry that I exist,_

_I forgot what landed me on your blacklist. _

_But I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn't have to be the one who makes friends with you,_

_So"_

The faces' smiles got wider and wider, until they resembled '0O0'

_"Why do I want to?_

_Why do I want to...?_

Uh..."

Marshall Lee's continuous guitar-playing suddenly halted down to occasional strumming. The smiles went from '0O0' to '0.0', as if confused.

_"To..._

_Bury you in the ground_

_And drink the blood from your-_

Ugh..."

The faces finally went back to '-_-'

Marshall Lee, frustrated and annoyed, looked down at Prince Gumball. Prince Gumball's lips were closed in a straight line, but his eyebrows were raised.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" Marshall Lee suddenly shouted at him angrily. He let out a very loud growl and hissed, "You threw me off!"

"Don't stop now!" Fionna quickly leaped to her feet, clapping to bring attention to herself. "The door was responding to our music!" She whirled around to face Cake. "I wonder what it liked? Or what was missing?"

"I can answer that question, Fionna," said Cake, in the same snooty, accented voice as before. She picked up her dulcimer and held her head high. "What is absent from this quintet. Talent."

She began to stride away, only to stop beside Marshall Lee and whisper through the corner of her mouth. "Marshall Lee, can I borrow some clothes from your house?"

"What?!" Marshall Lee cried loudly.

"It's for the band!" insisted Cake.

"Ugh...Fine..."

"Good day, accomplices." Cake stuck her nose back into the air and strode back into the portal back to Marshall Lee's house.

Marshall Lee sighed and turned to look at Fionna. "I liked her more when she was scared of me."

Fionna watched as Cake disappeared into the purple portal. She paused, then swung her backpack off of her shoulders. She reached inside and began to dig through its contents. "Maybe to be a genuine band, we have to be nicer to each other and hang out as buds." She took out a bag of frozen Cavatappi noodles from her backpack, well-preserved from the icy environment. "Pasta break!"

Marshall Lee and Prince Gumball stared for a moment before exchanging a look and looking back.

"C'mon~! It'll help."

Marshall Lee stood and began to float in the direction of the exiting portal. Fionna reached out a desperate hand. "No! Don't go!"

Marshall Lee gave Fionna an amused smirk. "I'm just getting something to cook that."

Fionna, who was having great difficulty gnawing on a rock-hard Cavatappi noodle, stopped and spat it out into the snow. "Oh...OK..."

Marshall Lee chuckled and vanished into the portal.

Prince Gumball made sure he was gone before he turned and smiled at Fionna. "That was nice, what you said about 'being buds.'"

Fionna smiled at him, too embarrassed to respond. She looked over her shoulder at the crate and quickly did a double-take. The straight lines of the multiple faces' mouths seemed to be curled up into small smirks.

Just as she was about to point this out to Prince Gumball, Marshall Lee reappeared from the portal with an electric, water-filled cooking pot in hand. Fionna looked back at the crate.

The faces' smirks had returned to straight lines.

Marshall Lee set the cooking pot down and waved Beema over. "C'mere, babe." Beema obediently waddled over and let out a gasp of surprise when Marshall Lee plugged the cooking pot's cord into its plug-in. Beema closed its screen and drifted off into a nap.

Marshall Lee looked up at the sky. The sun had vanished from the sky, leaving a cloudless, indigo blanket in its wake. He took off his straw hat, running a hand through his hair.

Fionna watched as the water began to heat up on the cooking pad and began to hum.

"_Pasta_

_Water_

_Getting _

_Hotter_

A song about pasta?" She proposed to the two.

Marshall Lee paused in adjusting the heat of the cooking pot, as if evaluating, then shrugged and smirked. "Maybe."

At the same time, Prince Gumball said, "I like it."

Fionna smiled and handed over the bag of noodles to Marshall Lee, singing softly whilst developing the lyrics in the process.

"Everybody eat

noo-dles

Everybody draw

noo-dles"

Marshall Lee laughed out loud as he stirred the noodles in the pot.

Fionna set her elbows on her knees and cupped her face in her hands. "You know...I like this. This is really fun...I like it..." A light-bulb almost visibly appeared over her head, and she gasped. "A song about not having an idea for a song?"

Immediately: _**"NO!"**_

Fionna made a sort of squeaking sound. Marshall Lee and Prince Gumball laughed heartily, their laughs coming out in puffs of white air.

Finally, Prince Gumball ceased his laughter and sighed. "For our next attempt, I want to be the lead." Marshall Lee's amused smile was replaced by an annoyed glare faster than the speed of light.

Fionna nodded. "Cool."

Approaching footsteps, crunching in the thick snow, caught their attention and they looked at the direction of the portal. Cake was standing there, looking very different from her usual self. She had stretched up to a woman's average height, and had molded her body to fit a woman's average size as well. She had pulled on a maroon sweater vest with a gold-and-blue argyle pattern. A pair of round black reading glasses was pressed to her face. Her tail had been groomed to perfection. She held her head high.

"Cupcake, you're back!" exclaimed Fionna with a smile.

Cake sniffed, "I returned for the music."

"OK. Gumball's leader of the band this time."

Prince Gumball nodded in pride and explained his plan. "I've constructed a mathematically perfect band construct."

Beside him, Marshall Lee made a loud 'psh' sound. Prince Gumball shot him a glare. Marshall Lee flicked his tongue at him in response. Eventually, Prince Gumball just rolled his eyes and began to explain further. "I know many musical facts and figures. For strings, you divide into halves, thirds, quarters, fifths..."

Fionna's head jumped up as she let out a small exclamation of surprise. She had been nodding off in the middle of Prince Gumball's explanation without even realizing it. As to not offend him, she smiled and said, "Sounds good."

And so, after they ate the momentarily forgotten pasta, they went to work.

Prince Gumball began to twiddle with Beema's controls once more. Soft thrumming emitted from it. "Beema, execute song structure alpha." Beeping accompanied the thrumming. "Marshall Lee, play quadruplet minims in the Khamaj mode."

Fionna expected Marshall Lee to scoff or deny, but instead, he just breathed, "Fine." Then, his eyebrows shot down and he said, "Wait. What's a minim?"

"Fionna, vibrate your uvula by dampening and undampening your larynx."

"...What?"

"Like thi-i-i-i-i-i-is, s-i-i-i-i-i-illy..." Prince Gumball rubbed his index finger up and down his throat so that his voice wavered as he spoke.

"Oh, alright." Fionna complied, rubbing her finger on her throat whilst emitting a 'wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a' tune.

Prince Gumball continued to say 'OK, OK', but Fionna didn't really feel any music coming on. It just sounded like a bunch of beeping, thrumming, complicated string plucking, and wavering vocal sounds. Prince Gumball, with one hand controlling Beema and the other holding a stick to draw his plan in the snow, said, "Cake, are you going to join?"

In response, Cake huffed and turned her back on him.

Marshall Lee let out a loud growl of frustration as he continued to difficultly pluck the strings of his guitar.

Fionna's face began to turn red from being unable to take a breath between her vocal dampening.

"Everyone, just stick to my blueprints," Prince Gumball shouted once he saw how quickly everything was falling apart.

A moment later, his hands shot away from Beema as sparks jumped up into the air with a loud hiss and a plume of smoke. Beema's screen went to static.

Fionna stopped dampening-and-undampening, took several deep breaths, and asked, "Maybe we should try again?"

Prince Gumball stared down at Beema, as if confused by what went wrong. "I...might have...miscalculated...?"

Marshall Lee let out a loud, short laugh and floated over to Prince Gumball to stare him in the face. "Guess you aren't as perfect as you thought you were, huh? Can't judge me anymore."

Prince Gumball set Beema down in the snow behind him and stood up, causing Marshall Lee to float back a bit. Prince Gumball gave him a hard glare in the face. "I never said you had to be _perfect_..."

"Guys!" Fionna waved her arms in an attempt to catch attention. "Time out!"

With his pink face flushed red and his eyebrows scrunched in anger, Prince Gumball shouted out the rest of his sentence. "JUST DON'T BE A TOTAL SCREW-UP!"

Marshall Lee made a guttural sound in his throat. Before Fionna could make any move to stop him, he hawked up a big wad of spit and shot it at Prince Gumball.

It hit the prince's jacket's left chest. Prince Gumball gasped very loudly, eyes bulging and eyebrows shot up to the hairline. He gasped again, standing to his feet. Gasping for the third time, he turned on his heel and began to walk away to the portal. Beema followed. "PG, wait!" called Fionna.

Marshall Lee let out a snake-like hiss, glaring at Prince Gumball's retreating back. "Whatever!" But just a moment later, he was raising a trembling fist up in the air. Fionna saw the tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. He sniffed angrily. "Friggin' Bubba...Always..." He growled loudly. "And I-I...I'm outta here, too!" And began to angrily float in the direction of the portal as well.

Fionna weakly-as she was still very stunned to see Marshall Lee so emotionally damaged-called, "Marshall Lee..."

Cake sniffed and stood straighter, straightening her sweater vest. "You've all forgotten the beauty of music. I daresay I'm retiring from this quintet." She turned on her heel and began to walk away, but morphed her face to the back of her head to whisper-call "I'm just pretending!" to Fionna.

"Cupcake!" Fionna called, but she didn't turn around. "Everybody—We can beat the Portal Lady!" Her voice dropped to a whisper in the icy air. "Together..."

Before she knew what she was doing, she began to clap her hands together in a rhythm.

_"All of y'all_

_Gumball_

_I've no gall_

_I should've just told you_

_What I lost_

_Was a piece of your hair!"_

Fionna saw Prince Gumball's form freeze like stone. His shoulders were rigid and his feet were pin-straight.

_"Now it's gone_

_Gone forever_

_But I guess_

_What doesn't matter_

_When I just..._

_...Just had all of you there?"_

Fionna sighed and turned around to lean against the crate, her forehead pressed against the cold wood.

_"Oh~_  
><em>I just had all of you there,<em>

_With me,_

_My friends_

_If you're even my friends..."_

Fionna opened her eyes and jumped away from the crate in surprise. The faces of the crate had opened ever-so-slightly, from '-_-' to 'o.o' They seemed to stare down at Fionna almost pleadingly, as if to say 'keep singing!'

"You like this?" Fionna asked. (Of course, they didn't answer) Then, she felt a large jolt of electricity through her body. 'Lightning bolt of brilliance', Cake would've called it. She gasped and jumped into the air. "This is what you meant by genuine! This is what you want! THE TRUTH!"

She quickly span around. Thankfully, Prince Gumball, Cake, and Marshall Lee had all stopped retreating to stare at her expectantly. She went on with her song.

_"What am I to you?"_

Marshall Lee didn't even hesitate a beat before he began to strum his guitar with her.

_"Am I a joke,_

_Your bud,_

_Or your sister?_

_What am I to you?_

_What am I to you?_  
><em>Do you look down on me 'cos I'm younger?<em>

_Do you think that I don't understand?_

_I just wanted us together and to play as a band_

_Last night was the most fun I've ever had_

_Even liked it when the two of you would get mad_

_At each other..."_

Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee exchanged small smiles. Marshall Lee floated into a more comfortable playing position as Prince Gumball sat down on his boulder and began to play Beema once more. At the same time, Cake smiled and began to prick at her dulcimer. Fionna quickly picked her microphone out of her backpack once more.

_"Oh, you_

_A-a-a-a-are_

_My best friends in the world_

_You a-a-a-a-are _

_My best friends in the world_

_That's ri-i-i-i-ight_

_I'm talking 'bout the two of you dudes_  
><em>And you, Cupcake"<em>

Cake smile turned soft. She shrank back down to her normal self, letting her sweater vest and glasses fall to the snow.

_"I wanna sing a song to you_

_And I refuse to make it fake_

_What am I to you?"_

Marshall Lee flew over beside Fionna and sang the next four lines with her.

_**"Am I a joke,**_

_**Your bud,**_

_**Or your sister?**_

_**What am I to you?"**_

Marshall Lee floated up to the top of the crate and stood on its edge, strumming his guitar flawlessly.

_"Do you look down on me 'cos I'm younger?_

_Do you think that I don't understand?_  
><em>I just wanted us together and to play as a band<em>

_I'll forget that I lost a piece of your hair_

_I'll remember the pasta that we shared_

_Over there"_

Above her, Marshall Lee curved backwards in the icy air before stooping down to join her in the next few lines once more. Prince Gumball and Cake smiled.

_"Ahh ahh_

_**You a-a-a-a-are **_

_My best friends in the world_

_You a-a-a-a-are_

_My best friends in the world_

_**That's ri-i-i-i-ight**_

_I'm talking 'bout the two of you dudes_

_And you, Cupcake_

_I'm going to sing a song to you_

_And I refuse to make it fake"_

Marshall Lee flew back to Prince Gumball's side. Together, they both made an identical 'oooooooo' chorus to background Fionna's singing.

_"Make no mistake_

_I'm gonna sing a song_

_that feels so real_

_It'll make this _

_do-o-o-o-o-o-o-or_

_Break"_

The crate exploded into blinding light.

* * *

><p>A minute later, Fionna, Cake, Prince Gumball, Marceline and Beema stepped out of the portal.<p>

The room they were now in was expansive, with tile floors and blue walls. At least, what could be seen of the walls was blue. Almost every single inch was covered in filing drawers, metal with labels. They seemed to be in the 'D' section right now, from what they could tell. They all seemed to be locked tight. Fionna could only imagine what they held: possessions of other people.

The Portal Lady stood ten feet away, her back against three rows of drawers behind her. She was munching on a banana, halfway done already. Her knapsack lay beside her limply. When she saw the human girl, feline, gummy royal, vampire king and video game console in the room with her, she spat out a wad of banana. "&#)%)#!"

"It's over, Portal Witch," Fionna glared at the tall humanoid menacingly.

"Hand over our stuff!" exclaimed Cake.

" *&#$)*#" replied the Portal Lady. She stood up and continued. " &$)*$ &(#&$ $(R% #($U"

Fionna threw her hands in the air in frustration. "What the grub is she saying?"

"I totally get it," Marshall Lee smiled brightly as he floated next to Fionna. "She may have stolen our treasure..."

Prince Gumball appeared next to him with the same smile. "But by doing so, she's taught us..."

Cake finished brightly. "That the real treasure...is friendship."

The Portal Lady cheered.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, she was bound, gagged, bloodied and bruised.<p>

"OK." Cake grabbed the Portal Lady's knapsack, ripped open the flap, and began to dig around inside. Her paw reappeared a few moments later, holding a wad of pink bubblegum. She turned, smiling, at Fionna. "Here's that wad of Gumball's hair that you love so much."

Fionna took the wad of gum graciously as Prince Gumball chuckled under his breath. "Oh, you." Fionna sighed, her cheeks flushed pink.

Cake reached back into her knapsack and took out Beema's joystick. She handed it to said console, who instantly plugged it back into its rightful place, pushing the joystick in circles.

Cake then took out a black T-shirt, looking at the front. The picture painted onto it was very odd. It looked like two dead gumdrops speared on toothpicks in a river of murky water. A panther circled the spears, green slitted eyes narrowed and mouth open in a snarl. She held it out to Marshall Lee. "Here's your T-shirt, Marshall Lee."

Marshall Lee gave the T-shirt a look of shock and confusion. "That's not—"

"It's mine!" Prince Gumball suddenly appeared in front of Marshall Lee, taking the T-shirt out of Cake's paw with care. Flustered, he said again, "It's mine."

Marshall Lee couldn't help it. His face tinged pink in embarrassment. "You kept the shirt I gave you." Statement, not a question.

"Yeah, it uh..." Prince Gumball gave a dry laugh—as in, he laughed in a way that made you think his throat was dry—and coughed. "...means a lot to me."

Marshall Lee's black eyebrows furrowed at this. "But you never wear it."

"Dude, I wear this thing all the time." Prince Gumball pulled the T-shirt over his head and pulled it over his torso. He paused, then said, "As pajamas."

"Wait." Fionna stared at the T-shirt, then at Marshall Lee, then back. "If that's Gumball's T-shirt..." She turned to face the teenage vampire king. "Marshall Lee, what did you lose?"

Marshall Lee said nothing. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

You could see the light-bulb going off over Fionna's head. Her eyes flew wide open and her jaw dropped. "Waaaait a second." Then, loudly, with a smile of disbelief, she repeated, "WAIT A SECOND! You don't HAVE a thing! You just wanted to hang out with us!"

"No, I didn't," Marshall Lee tried to protest, but the crack in his voice on the last word gave him away.

"No way! You're caught! I've figured you out!"

Marshall Lee growled, and before anyone could do anything, his skin broke out in fur, his face contorted into beady eyes and a snout, and his teeth shot out into razors. He towered over all four friends in no time. Said friends ran, laughing, into and out of the portal. Marshall Lee quickly followed, howling, "I'LL KILL YOU!"

TRIVIA

When the Portal Lady steals the girl's toy, Fionna jumbles the words up, shouting, "I'll get your girl back, doll," instead of, "I'll get your doll back, girl."


	62. Peach Thief

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

Tree-Trunks—the male version of Tree Trunks is seen with a gray mustache and a green, see-through visor. He also has a few wrinkles on his trunk. This may imply that he is also old, like his female counterpart. He also wears a bright blue ribbon on his tail. He has thicker eyebrows than Tree Trunks. Like how Tree Trunks loves apples, he loves peaches. He is kind-hearted.

PEACH THIEF

_Title Card_

_Tree-Trunks rolls the pencil in his mouth as he observes the white body line in front of him..._

Cake ran the brush through her fur one last time, tucking whatever hairs were loose back into place. She fluffed her tail out with her paw, then put the white gloves over them. Next, she adjusted the flowers on her bright pink hat before setting it between her ears. Making sure everything was in place, she grabbed her blue clutch bag and called upstairs, "Let's go!"

There was a shuffle of movement on the above floorboards, then footsteps stepping down on the ladder pegs. Fionna finally appeared in front of Cake, her eyebrows scrunched and her nose wrinkled in confusion. She looked over her sister's appearance, from her flowery hat to her gloves. "What are you wearing?"

"Lordy told me about this really good restaurant a while back," Cake replied bubbly. She opened her clutch and dug around and took out a restaurant ad. The ad was white, and in shiny, gold curly letters were the words 'La Nourriture est Bonne.'

"That place sounds weird," murmured Fionna.

Cake deflated visibly. She gave Fionna a pleading stare. "Fifi, it took me forever just to get the reser—"

"We should go to Tree-Trunks's and get some peach cobbler," exclaimed Fionna. Before Cake could object, she broke into a chant of "Peach cobbler~! Peach cobbler~!" Cake sighed but smiled, shaking a fist in meek cheer. Fionna grabbed Cake's paw with a cry of "Let's go!" and began to drag her away from the mirror.

Cake just had enough time to set her hat back on the rack before Fionna dragged her away.

* * *

><p>"Tree-Trunks~!"<p>

Fionna knocked on Tree-Trunks's door. There were several long moments of silence. Not even a shuffle of movement was made inside. Fionna knocked again, then paused. Something was off. There was a large chunk of wood missing from Tree-Trunks's front door, and the shutters on the small window were hanging loosely. "Tree-Trunks?" She pushed the door open herself.

The pipe on the stove was split. The wastebasket was toppled on its side. Three plates lay shattered on the floor. There were several chunks missing from the walls. The dinner table was split right down the middle, the chairs broken. The painting that depicted a glowing peach floating above a tall metal tower was shredded to bits.

Tree-Trunks lay unconscious on his side amongst the mess.

"TREE-TRUNKS!" Fionna ran over to the little elephant and gingerly laid her hands on his sides. Cake followed in shock.

Tree-Trunks mumbled something.

"Tree-Trunks?"

Tree-Trunks panted and moaned, "Pa...pah...eech...my...pea...Pah...heech..."

Cake furrowed her furry forehead. She could just barely make out what Tree-Trunks was saying. "Peaches?" she asked.

Suddenly, Tree-Trunks's eyes flew wide open. His gaze landed on Cake with a bizarre glaze. He stared at her in crazed fury. "You!" he rasped hoarsely.

Suddenly, Tree-Trunks had sprung from Fionna's hands and was tackling Cake to the white tiled floor of the kitchen.

Cake let out a scream of surprise as she fell on her back. She tried to cover her face with her furry arms. Tree-Trunks continuously beat her with his stubby little legs and slapped her with his trunk. It didn't really hurt her, but every now and then his trunk would swipe at Cake's eyes, bringing forth tears.

Fionna let out a shocked cry of "Tree-Trunks!" and scuffled over. She yanked the small, rotund elephant from her older sister with little effort. Cake lay trembling on the tiles. "Tree-Trunks, it's us! Fionna and Cake!"

Tree-Trunks' little eyes were wide and his bushy eyebrows were raised high. His green visor was crooked on his round head. "F-Fio...nuh?" He said the name like he had never heard it before. "And...Cuh-ake?"

"It's OK, Tree-Trunks. We're here to help you. Just tell us what happened."

Tree-Trunks's eyes darted to the right, then they widened. "Peaches!" He broke free of Fionna's hold and shot across the room to a golden, Cocker Spaniel puppy standing in front of the closet, her paws on the wood.

'Peaches', as the little puppy was called, was a small Cocker Spaniel that Tree-Trunks had found wandering around his orchard a few weeks ago. He named her 'Peaches', and has since been taking care of her. Now, the thing was a little over half a foot big, with ears that brushed the floor.

Tears began to spill down Tree-Trunks's leathery face as he held the little puppy close. He raised a stubby arm to wipe them away and looked up at Fionna with watery, shining eyes. "He took all of them!" He let out a shuddering breath, and whispered, "All of them..."

"What?" Cake asked as she lifted herself up to her legs, brushing dust from her fur.

"My peaches!" Tree-Trunks cried.

Fionna and Cake gave each other looks of confusion, then pointed at Peaches, who was licking Tree-Trunks's face. "She's right there," they both said.

"No, my orchard peaches!"

Fionna and Cake exchanged horrified looks, eyebrows raised and jaws dropped.

Tree-Trunks's gaze fell to the floor. Peaches panted next to him.

"My beloved peaches! They were like my children!" His long trunk shriveled in a sniff. He looked up at Fionna wearily. "If I don't have any peaches, I can't make any peach cobbler."

Fionna and Cake let out a long, loud, throat-wrenching gasp. Both girls slapped their hands to the sides of their cheeks, heads whipping back and forth. Peaches howled with them.

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_

"We have to get those peaches back!" exclaimed Fionna. Cake nodded vigorously. "We're gonna hunt those thieves down like bloodhounds!"

Tree-Trunks lifted himself to his small feet and turned to his left, already walking away. "Let's go observe the scene of the crime, shall we?" They walked towards the door, and Peaches began to follow.

Tree-Trunks held the puppy back with two hands. She whined. "No, no, girl. You need to stay in here unless those hooligans are out there."

* * *

><p>Tree-Trunks lead them outside to the peach orchard that surrounded his house. Fionna wondered how on earth she hadn't seen if when she and Cake had arrived: every single tree was bare of any peaches. There were hardly even any blossoms, let alone any fruit. The trees almost looked sad without their bearings.<p>

"Peach trees without any peaches," Tree-Trunks sighed out of his trunk and shook his neckless head. "It's like birds without any feathers. Absolutely disgusting."

Fionna's eyebrows furrowed on her forehead. "Is anything else missing, Tree-Trunks?"

"No, nothing at all." Tree-Trunks prodded a pebble with a leg. "I got my rocks." He picked up a small twig with his trunk. "And my sticks." He brushed a nearby poppy flower with his ear. "And these little weirdos, and my raccoons are OK." A small, gray-bodied, black-faced raccoon scurried by as he siad this. "And Peaches is alright, of course. It's just the orchard peaches."

Fionna observed a nearby tree's base. There were small, round indentations all in the earth and grass, like footprints, but the whether it was a person or an animal (and what animal it was) was unidentifiable. She called over her shoulder, "You seeing this, Cupcake?"

Cake twirled her paw inside one of the indentations. "No Ghost DNA," she responded. She paused, her paw seemingly caught on something in the indentation. "Oh, wait." She mashed her face into the indentation, rubbing it around. "Wait!" She pulled herself back up, her white fur stained green with grass. "Oh, no." She dropped her arms to her sides. "No."

Fionna hummed and turned back to the small elephant victim. "Tree-Trunks, can you think of anyone who might want to krank you?"

"Oh, no. I make sure that I never, ever, ever get on anyone's bad list, no matter how heinous or vile or careless—"

"I found something."

Fionna and Tree-Trunks turned around. Cake was kneeling besides a lump in the grass, eyes wide and muzzle frowning. They stepped over and looked down at the mass in the dirt.

Tree-Trunks let out a surprised yelp.

"Oh, hey." Raggedy Prince smiled up at them from the ground, his lips sown together but smiling. His longish brown hair was splayed around his shoulders. His tattered, torn and scrappy clothes were dusted over in grass stains and dirt. He looked up at Fionna, his one-hole one-button eyes squinted from the big smile that overtook his mouth. "H-Hey, Fionna."

"Hey, Raggedy Prince," greeted Fionna. "Have you seen any camupence goin' on?"

"Oh, haha, no, I haven't," chuckled Raggedy Prince. "I've, ha, I've been down here for a long time, hahaha." He frowned heavily and explained, "I got knocked down by some neanderthals. It was scary. I was so afraid."

"Neanderthals?" exclaimed Tree-Trunks. "They stole my peaches!" Suddenly, Tree-Trunks's ears flared out like a hood and every hair on his body stuck out on end. From the top of his lungs, in a very unexpected manner, he yelled, "I'M GONNA SASS THOSE NAGS UP NASTY!"

Fionna let out a giggle at the adorable scene. "Awesome!" she trilled. Her smile faltered and she looked between her sister and the small elephant. "Where are we gonna find this guys up, anyway?"

"Oh!" Cake's tail flicked a bit as she said this. "The Kandy Saloon! I used to hang out there when I stole old men's pocket-watches."

Fionna started.

"Don't worry, I stopped doing that a long time ago. I didn't know it was wrong."

Fionna started again.

"Let's go, ladies," Tree-Trunks said with finality, and began to lead the two girls away.

* * *

><p>The Kandy Saloon was found in the ramshackle part of the Candy Kingdom, an area that Fionna and Cake did their best to avoid. Every single thing in that area was run-down and filthy. Every building was little more than a shack. The roofs were falling to pieces, all having large holes, nests of creatures, and gutters hanging by chance. Their walls were mostly painted, but the paint was only staying on in blotches. The windows were either broken or caked in dust. The street gutters were packed tight, puddles of water on the trash-covered road.<p>

The Kandy Saloon was somewhere near the center of the ramshackle area. It looked liked it was sunk halfway into the road, a rickety and dangerous-looking staircase leading down to the front door. Its painted walls were painted in candy coating, but most of it was chipped away to reveal the graham foundation of the building. The hard-as-rock frosted roof was dull and dripping. There were apparently two windows, one almost entirely missing and the other just barely hanging on. A wooden, orange sign that depicted 'KANDY SALOON' in bright cyan letters was hanging from one corner on the outside wall, three feet above the road.

As Fionna, Cake, and Tree-Trunks observed the small building with a feeling of uneasiness, a small chocolate-covered cherry woman crashed through the one remaining window and hit the road hard. She didn't bother to get up.

"Oh, dear, oh dear," gasped Tree-Trunks. He was very happy to have left Peaches at home.

Fionna, Cake, and Tree-Trunks gathered into the tiny staircase and approached the front door, which was the two-small-door, swinging entrance like the ones you saw in Western movies. Fionna pushed the doors open and they walked inside.

Everything inside was a dark blue color, courtesy of the fact that every light source was covered in a blue film. The brick walls were Cerulean, the wooden floor was Tufts Blue, and the swirly-topped tables were Sapphire and Violet-Blue. A painting of an odd tree-tower hung loosely on one wall. A Yale Blue bookcase behind the bar held bottles of liquids. The bar itself was Steel Blue with chairs the same of the tables.

The customers were peculiar, to say the least. A raspberry tart with something like brown hair slapped on her head was sitting with her chipped, rotten-potato looking friend, both drinking from heavily chipped glasses. They stared at the trio wordlessly. A cream-topped truffle sat at the bar, trying to play five-finger-fillet with a spoon, but just kept hitting her palm. A hairy, upside-down ice cream woman stood behind the bar and glared at the three friends as they walked in. A chocolate-chip cookie sat at a corner table, simply growling with her face flushed bright, bright red.

Fionna took a step back towards the door when she saw the cookie woman. "Does Prince Gumball know about this place?"

"Be cool, girl," Cake whispered to her from her side. "You'll make us sound suspicious."

"Right, right." Fionna nodded. "Try to be calm, Tree-Trunks."

"OK, I will."

Cake picked up Tree-Trunks and the three of them approached the barmaid. Fionna crossed her arms over the bar top and Cake held Tree-Trunks up to eye level.

"Where—" Fionna and Tree-Trunks start at the same time.

"Oh." Fionna gestures a hand for Tree-Trunks to continue.

Tree-Trunks gave the barmaid a harsh, stern glare like a grandfather scolding his grandchild. "Where did you take my darn peaches?"

"Oh, Tree-Trunks, you're so silly!" Fionna said a bit too quickly and too convincingly. She gave the barmaid a big, cheesy smile. "B-But listen. You wouldn't happen to have seen any...peaches around, have you?" She brought her hands together at her chest.

"'Seens any peaches'?" The barmaid repeated oh-so-slowly. She drummed her stumpy fingers on the bar top and took the three friends in. "You're askings a reals stupid-head question here. Almost likes you're..._searching_ for somethings."

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

The barmaid swatted a moth that had landed on her cone. "Reals clean, too." Her eyes, which were little more than slanted lines, mashed down accusingly. "Like a couples of DO-GOODERS!" She smacked her fists down on the bar.

"Hold up," Cake quickly interrupted. She tucked Tree-Trunks under her arm and gestured for Fionna to follow. "We gotta go dumpster-diving."

* * *

><p>The dumpster was placed on the other side of the building, next to the back door in a dark alley. The entire thing was rancid. The dumpster was more than a little grimy, as well as rusty and even mossy. It was packed tight with trash—rotten food, broken appliances, and filthy papers of all kind—all swimming in some kind of green-gray mush no one in Aaa could identify. The dumpster stood in a large puddle of blackish water, and you could see red eyes poking out from underneath it.<p>

Cake reached into the dumpster, took out a crumpled soda can, and poured its remains on her fur. Fionna mussied up her hair and dug out scooped out the mush in the dumpster, smearing it over her skin and clothes. As she pulled out a few hairs from under her hat to fall in her face, she turned to look at Cake. "They almost got us, Cupcake. But I think we'll blend in perfectly now."

Tree-Trunks, smeared in the same mush as Fionna, had his mustache dirtied and his visor smeared with the contents of a plastic bottle he found. He turned to Fionna with an apple core between his teeth. "Do you think my peaches will be in here, Fionna?"

Fionna blanched at the brown, rotten, probably insect-infested apple core and quickly pulled it from Tree-Trunks's mouth. "Tree-Trunks, don't eat that." She pulled him out of the dumpster and whispered to Cake, "Keep an eye on 'im."

Tree-Trunks saw his reflection, mussied, dirtied, and slimy, and gasped in wonder. "I look just like my old calf-self, I do!"

* * *

><p>They walked back into the saloon, making dirty footsteps on the wooden floor. No one looked up at them this time. Fionna took it as a good sign.<p>

They approached the bar again, Fionna and Cake sitting down on the rickety seats and Tree-Trunks on the bar top. The barmaid's squinty gaze didn't hold even a pinprick of suspicion. "What can I do for you blokes?"

Fionna picked up the mug of corn syrup placed on the bar top in front of her. She considered drinking it, thought against that and simply poured the liquid on the bar top. It leaked out into a puddle. "Do you knows where a gal can snatch some peaches?" When the mug was empty, Fionna let it drop to the floor with a crash.

"Well, when ya puts it like dat," the barmaid said casually, leaning forward on the bar top with her elbows crossed, "a couple a gals I knows have some peaches for on da maket." She pointed in the direction of the back door. "I'll show you."

* * *

><p>They emerged into a different alley this time. Three trashcans stood to the left, two on their sides so that their putrid clutter spilled out onto the pavement. Pipes clung to the walls, spitting out yellowish grime that smelled like sweat. There was another dumpster out here, too, except its lid was shut and something was scuttling around this time.<p>

Two women were also out in this alley. One of them was a gingerbread women, twice as tall as Fionna, with her arms crossed and her white eyes glaring at her feet. Her body was tan, outlined with the same white frosting as her eyes and mouth. Three gumdrops, yellow, pink, and cyan, were on her chest. The other women was an upside-down, dark pink ice cream cone with a brown cone and cyan boots. Her ridiculously smooth face was scowling.

"Hey, Smear, Redjay," the barmaid said casually as she appeared in the doorway behind the trio. "These blokes've been askings about your...peaches."

The ice cream woman, Redjay, dragged a finger from the corner of her eye to her chin without leaving a dent in her skin. "A'ight," she said at last. She turned to the gingerbread woman. "Hey, Smear. Shows 'em the peaches."

The gingerbread woman—Smear—moved over to the dumpster and threw open its lid with a loud clang. Fionna thought that she was about to reach inside and show them the peaches.

Instead, Smear moved forward, grabbed Cake by the tail, and chucked her into the dumpster.

Cake hit the lid with a shriek, her claws crazily swiping at the air as she fell into the dumpster itself. The lid fell down with a loud bang. Smear quickly sat down on top of it.

Before Fionna could even move, Redjay shouted, "GRABS 'EM!"

Suddenly, the barmaid clamped her arm around Fionna's middle and picked up Tree-Trunks by his trunk. Fionna tried to break free, but the barmaid held her to the point of difficult breathing. The Redjay walked up to the captured human girl and hissed, "You goes back and tells your boss to stop lookings for those peaches. CUZ THEY'S OURS NOWS!"

Fionna gave Redjay a look of absolute confusion. "W-What boss are you talking about?"

"_Your _boss! Professor C!"

Tree-Trunks and Fionna shook their heads with difficulty. "We don't know any Professor C!" "We've never heard of her!" "You've got the wrong people!"

Redjay suddenly slapped Fionna in the face. Fionna realized all too late that the woman was wearing a ring, and it pierced her skin in a bloody outline. The slap was sharp and brought stinging pain to her face. "Ow!"

"Liar," growled Redjay. She began to stride away in a smooth strut. "C'mon, Smear."

Smear hopped off of the dumpster and followed her supposed partner.

The barmaid pushed Fionna down to the pavement with harshly. Fionna's knees hit the ground painfully and she almost split the skin on her hands. The barmaid threw Tree-Trunks after her, and the small elephant landed on Fionna's back. Fionna grunted. The barmaid closed the door with a slam.

The lid of the dumpster slapped open, and Cake appeared from inside it. Something between a rat and a ferret was biting her arm harshly. She quickly pulled it off and chucked it down the alley before crawling out. She helped Fionna to her feet and set down Tree-Trunks. "What the shoop just happened?"

"I guess whoever stole Tree-Trunks's peaches also took Professor C's peaches," guessed Fionna. "And they thought we were working for them!"

"Fionna? Fionna."

"Hm?" Fionna looked down at Tree-Trunks.

Tree-Trunks was giving her a stern look that was also mixed with worry. "This could get dangerous," he said slowly. He closed his eyes. "If you want to go back home, I understand perfectly." He looked back up at Fionna with shining eyes. "But I need to stay here and get my peaches back."

"Yeah, Tree-Trunks. Me, too."

"Hey, Fifi."

Fionna turned to look at Cake. Said feline gave Fionna a look of curiosity. "What's that on your face, girl?"

Fionna touched the bloody mark where the ice cream woman had slapped her. "Oh. That lady smacked my cheek meat. She had a ring on."

Cake squinted at the mark on Fionna's cheek. It looked like a sort of face, with an upward-arrow mouth, flat lines for eyes and slanted eyebrows. "I think I've seen that before..."

Fionna and Tree-Trunks said nothing.

Cake rubbed her dirty muzzle and nodded slowly. "Yeah. Right next door to where I used to snatch from an ATM..."

Fionna's jaw dropped. "WHAT?!"

"I didn't know it was wrong."

* * *

><p>The place nextdoor to where Cake used to snatch from an ATM was pressed directly against the surrounding wall of the Candy Kingdom. It was a small, round building with grimy walls and a rusty blue front door. A square building was beside it, but it was obviously abandoned. A busted ATM stood outside form it. The building they had come to had the symbol from Fionna's cheek above the front door.<p>

"Yeah, look," Cake pointed up at the symbol. "That lady must work here or somethin'."

They approached the door and Fionna knocked in its painted blue door. Flakes of rust rained down to their feet. "Hello?"

A piece of the door fell inwards as if something were pulling on it. A pair of black eyes appeared, imbedded in pale orange skin. "Who's the grump you what?" a feminine voice drawled.

"...Uh...we're heres about the peaches?"

"Oh. OKs. Lets see yours ring."

"Um..." Fionna's voice trailed off.

Cake morphed one of her paw digits so that it appeared that she had a ring with the symbol on it. She held it up for the woman behind the door to see.

The door flew open, revealing the woman behind the door to be a gummy worm three heads taller than Fionna, her body striped orange, blue, green and pink. "Follow me." She began to wiggle away down the stairs behind her. The trio quickly followed.

No one saw the blue sneaker stop the closing door.

* * *

><p>"My boss is gonna bes real psyched abouts someone buyings her peaches," the gummy worm woman continued as they walked down the third, orange-lit staircase. No one replied.<p>

They landed in a dark room. Boxes, crates, and barrels were stacked everyone, some spilled over to reveal different items of size and shape. The gummy worm woman lead them over to a barrel near the corner of the room and nodded her head at it. "A wholes crate."

Cake picked up Tree Trunks. She and Fionna walked over the barrel, took a deep breath, and looked inside.

What they saw was the entire barrel stacked to the brim with gleaming, beautiful gold nuggets.

"Wha-?" Fionna's voice cut off in shock. Tree-Trunks's mouth was set in a very deep frown.

"Whas wrong, girl?"

"These aren't peaches!"

"Oh, you didn't means gold nuggets? All neanderthals calls gold nuggets peaches. Like callings sisters muffins and chair creamsmacks..."

"Hey, Worma."

The door to the room creaked open loudly, revealing the last two people the trio needed to see at the moment: Smear and Redjay.

"We're back for-" Redjay stopped when she saw the three friends. She jumped a foot high, her cone rocking, and pointed a finger at them. "WHAT ARE THEY DOINGS HERE?!"

Worma gave her a curious look. "They're heres for the peaches."

"THAT'S THA DARN PROFESSOR C GANG, WORMA! GRABS THEM!"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later saw the three friends tied very tightly with hard black licorice rope. Fionna sat in the middle, her right arm slung around to her opposite hip and the other arm slung around her back to the other hip very uncomfortably. Cake sat next to her with her paws bound together. Tree-Trunks was pressed upside-down on Fionna's neck, the licorice around his middle.<p>

"Uh, excuse me, ladies," Tree-Trunks said. The Redjay turned around from examining a large gold nugget. "I promise that if you set us free, we won't tell a soul about your peaches."

Worma turned her head to Smear and smiled. "Feeds 'em to tha klook."

Smear nodded and said in a ridiculously high-pitched voice, "Yeah! The klook!"

Redjay laughed coldly and hopped off of her seat on a barrel. "A'ight."

She disappeared into the shadows and reemerged carrying a live pig, which Fionna guessed was a 'klook' to them. The pig wasn't too big, pink with a curly tail and big eyes. She must have been a girl, judging by a blue bow between her ears. She looked very unhappy. "I'm sorry, you guys. They're making me do this. I'll make it quick..."

"HOLD IT!"

All eyes darted to the door.

"PROFESSOR C?"

'Professor C' looked identical to Redjay, though her skin wasn't as ragged, and it was dark yellow. She was flanked by two girls, a tall, frowning candy corn piece and a small sucker. They were all glaring.

"I wants my peaches back," snarled Professor C in a thick voice.

"Gets 'em, girls!" Both Professor C and Redjay cried at once.

Worma, Smear, Redjay, Professor C, the candy corn girl and the sucker leaped on each other. The sucker bit into Worma harshly, leaving holes in the gummy flesh. Smear grabbed the candy corn and squeezed her as if to suffocate her. Professor C tackled Redjay to the ground and began to pummel her.

Fionna, Cake, Tree-Trunks and Ms. Pig observed the scene without words. Cake shrank down, and the licorice ropes fell away from all three friends at once. Tree-Trunks stood to his feet as Fionna stood to hers. Fionna grabbed Tree-Trunks and began to sneak away. Cake grabbed Ms. Pig, gestured for her to be quiet, and followed.

* * *

><p>The four of them eventually found their way back to Tree-Trunks's house. Fionna pushed the battered door open and let Tree-Trunks walk in. Said elephant stared down at the floor sadly. He walked over to the tattered remains of his tablecloth, curled inside, and began to sniffle in despair. Peaches, who was once again pawing at the closet door, stopped to go pad over to him, whining.<p>

Fionna felt a piece of her break. "Don't cry, Tree-Trunks."

Tree-Trunks looked up at her with tears streaming down his leathery face. Peaches whined in worry. "I'm never...going to find..." he murmured the last part into the cloth. "...my peaches..."

You could almost see an exclamation mark go off over Ms. Pig's head. "Peaches?" she repeated in surprise. She looked over at the two sisters. "You girls have been looking for peaches?"

"Yeah, why?" asked Cake.

"Because...I can smell a bunch of peaches in this room."

Cake's forehead furrowed. "You mean 'peaches' as in 'gold'?"

"No."

Fionna and Cake's jaws dropped to the floor. "'Peaches' as in 'peaches'?" Cake asked for clarification.

"Yep."

"'Peaches' as in 'the Cocker Spaniel'?"

"No."

Fionna pointed at her mouth. "Peaches that we eat?"

"Yes."

Tree-Trunks shook his head at the pig's attempts to comfort him. "With my dearest respect, Ms. Pig, every last one of my peaches has been stolen by a vile criminal who needs to be sent to prison for his or her crimes."

"I'm telling you the truth, mister," replied Ms. Pig. "I am smelling a whole whoopload of peaches in that closet." She pointed an arm at the closet at the other side of the room. Her eyes squinted. "They smell scared..."

"I hate to tell you this, girls," Tree-Trunks said as he rose to his feet and approached the closet. "There are no peaches in this closet." He put his tail into the closet's lock and began to twist his tail around the handle inside. "Peaches and I are the only ones who can open it and I promise you that there's nothing inside."

No sooner had he said this had the closet door busted open and a mountain of peaches cascaded out, falling over Tree-Trunks and scattering across the floor.

Fionna and Cake gasped.

Tree-Trunks observed the scene with horrible confusion, his eyes wide and his mouth open. "I...I was the Peach Thief?"

"Wh-No, no, no, no, no!" Fionna shook her head left and right like a bobblehead. "That wouldn't even make sense!"

"You're right," murmured Tree-Trunks. "I never remember doing anything so vile before...but if it wasn't me...then who..." He gasped out loud and turned to the puppy Cocker Spaniel. "PEACHES?! IT WAS _YOU_?!"

"Wait, Tree-Trunks!"

"No, Fionna, my little Peaches is a vile criminal now," Tree-Trunks limply walked to his pink, peach-shaped telephone and typed the police's number in his ear. Tears ran down his face as he said, "She need to pay the price."

There were a few hollow rings on the phone. Finally, a voice droned, "Candy Police speaking. What's your emergency?"

"T-This is Tree-Trunks. I've done something monstrous and I need you to arrest me for my crimes." As he spoke, Tree-Trunks's gaze fell on Peaches. She cocked her head to the side.

Fionna and Cake's eyes dropped to the floor. Ms. Pig sighed in sadness. Peaches began to chase her tail.

* * *

><p>About five minutes later, two Banana Guards were standing outside Tree-Trunks's house, their diamond-tipped spears in hand as they awaited for the 'criminal' to emerge from inside. Fionna and Cake had been ushered out of the house to wait as well. Ms. Pig had left to find a hotel for the night.<p>

Tree-Trunks finally emerged. His face was leaking tears as he carried Peaches, her front paws in shackles. Fionna and Cake ran to his side. "Tree-Trunks! You don't need to do this. It's all just a misunderstanding, I'm sure."

"Thank you, Fionna and Cake," Tree-Trunks sighed. He put on a brave face and said, "But I won't let Peaches, no matter how dear she is to me, slip from justice's hands again for doing such heinous crimes. Say goodbye, girls..." He walked away limply with Peaches in hand. The little puppy whined in worry.

"Tree-Trunks..."

One of the Banana Guards watched the scene with teary eyes. She sighed, "Awww. This is sad." She turned around and proclaimed, "I'm going to look away now." There was a sudden cluster of cat-like shrieks, and she looked at the trees. A cluster of raccoons scurried out, one by one. "This place needs to pest petrol..."

Fionna froze, then stood to her feet. Something was dawning on her, something big. "Say that again."

"...This place needs to get pest petrol...?"

All of the events of the day clicked together in Fionna's mind like puzzle pieces.

Footprints in the ground, the creature unidentifiable.

All the raccoons running around.

Peaches pawing at the closet.

Raggedy Prince in the ditch.

All the peaches in Tree-Trunks's closet.

'This place needs some pest petrol...'

"I GET IT NOW!" cried Fionna. Realization had struck her like lightning. She ran to the left side of Tree-Trunks's house. Sure enough, she saw what she wanted: a large raccoon with a peach in its jaws, hunching over a burrow underneath the house's bottom side. The raccoon scurried away at the sight of Fionna. Said girl ran over to the burrow and looked inside.

The thing was packed full of large, plump, some half-rotten peaches.

"I KNEW IT!" exclaimed Fionna. "The raccoons have been taking the peaches and hiding them inside Tree-Trunks's closet by going through this hole!"

"That's why there were all those tiny footprints everywhere!" exclaimed Cake. "And why Peaches was getting so hyped around the closet! She knew the raccoons were in there and wanted to go hunt 'em!"

"Yes! And the raccoons were able to get the peaches because Raggedy Prince wasn't there to scare them off!"

"So Peaches is innocent?" gasped Tree-Trunks. The puppy whined in his front feet, rubbing her ear with her paw.

"As innocent as a ladybug's wing!" cheered Cake. Tree-Trunks's face split into a wonderfully wide smile of joy.

"You know what that means, Tree-Trunks?" Fionna asked. She was so giddy with joy, she was bouncing on her feet. "Peaches can go home now!"

Tree-Trunks's eyes filled with tears of appreciation for the two girls' hard work. "I'm going to bake you girls the biggest, juiciest, most delectable peach cobbler you've ever dreamed of." He set Peaches on the ground, grabbing the little Spaniel's front paws. With a grunt of effort, he cracked the chain between them.

"Whoa," awed the Banana Guards.

As Peaches ran freely around the grassy area, Tree-Trunks stepped over to the Banana Guards and gave them a kind smile. "You girls best stick around if you want some of the best peach cobbler in the world."

The first Banana Guard turned to the second. "We're getting cobbler for doing nothing."

The second Banana Guard gave her a thumbs-up.

Tree-Trunks burst into laughter. The Banana Guards joined in, then Fionna and Cake. Peaches yapped happily, running around in excitement.


	63. The Creeps

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

**Cake**—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

**Prince Gumball**: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.

Lumpy Space Prince—is a gender-bender of LSP. Lumpy Space Prince is identical to Lumpy Space Princess only with a mustache and a darker shade of colors. He is most likely 15 years old.

**Cinnamon Bun-**CB is a citizen of the Candy Kingom, most widely known for her clumsiness and silly attitude. She has milky white eyes, and wears a light green dress with a bow.

**BEEMA**—it isn't necessarily gender-swapped. I mean, can you really tell if it's a boy or a girl? :P

THE CREEPS

_Title Card_

_The others hunch over Cinnamon Bun's fallen body, weapons hidden behind their backs..._

The lightning overhead cracked and boomed, flaring out over the dark sky like an electric spiderweb. Rain hailed down like bullets, smacking the ground harshly. The trees bent sideways in the wicked wind, grass flying into the air by the force. The air sizzled with heat. The waves on the shore churned and slapped against the sand.

Cake observed the scene from the cliff side, about ten miles away. "Boy, we got here just in time, huh?"

"Hoo yeah," Fionna nodded in agreement.

"How much longer 'til we get there?" asked Cake as the two of them continued up the road. The formal event they were heading for had her dressed in a silky purple dress and a matching hat embedded with white roses. A lavender shawl was around her furry shoulders, and white gloves covered her hands.

"Lemme check this ominous invitation that appeared at our doorstep this morning," Fionna replied. She was dressed in a dark green dress that fell down to her knees. The dress had a sweetheart neckline and a wide sash at the waist. She had swapped her Mary Janes for green sandals, and had been willing enough to get a pearl necklace on. Like Cake, she wore white gloves. Fionna had curled the piece of blonde hair that fell from her bunny-ear hat. She reached into her hat and pulled out a parchment card with a half-mask on the front. "Oh...we're here. It's in that tower."

Cake looked up. At the top of the rocky, choppy mountain stood a tall, pristine tower. It was actually pretty well-preserved. The tower was layered window, gray wall, window, gray wall, and so on. There were more windows at the top and bottom. A few windows were broken, and there was a few splotches of rust on the walls, but other than that, it was very well-preserved. The lights also worked, and almost all of the windows were illuminated with them.

They finally reached the tower, stepping on the last of the concrete stairs illuminated by blue solar lights. A chest stood before the sliding glass doors. Fionna stooped down and picked up the note attached to it. "'Wear these,'" she read aloud. She and Cake exchanged confused looks. "'Wear these'?" they parroted.

Fionna opened the lid of the chest. The two girls 'oohed.'

* * *

><p>The inside of the tower lobby was surprisingly modern. The floors were made of white carpet, the sleek walls covered in multicolored paintings. There were two stainless elevators on either side of a wide escalator. Sparkling chandeliers, gleaming vases, and pieces of modern art added to the scene. Fionna and Cake observed the lobby with interest. Fionna had pulled on a black and white raccoon mask that only showed her eyes and mouth. Cake had pulled on a simple, sky blue mask that covered the area around her eyes.<p>

"Hello?" called Fionna. There were a few beats of silence, and a voice called, "Over here!"

Fionna and Cake looked to the right, where they supposed the living room was positioned. The sitting room consisted of two square silver couches and a black leather recliner. Acrylic paintings of bright colors were on the walls, and a copper statue of a cougar stood to the right of one of the couches. A glass table and a oddly-shaped lamp stood between the couches. Another sparkling chandelier cast the room in bright light.

"Hey, guys!" called Prince Gumball. He was dressed in a nice, hot pink tuxedo, the collar pressed and not a speck of lint on. His shoes were a darker shade of pink that matched his bow tie. The boy tie cascaded down into white ruffles that covered his chest. His gummy hair was gelled back into a slick. He wore white gloves on his hands, and the area around his eyes was covered in a crystalline mask that looked like an eagle. Fionna blushed, thankful for the raccoon mask.

"Hey, PG," Fionna greeted happily. She paused and chuckled nervously. "That's you, right?"

"Yes, that is I," smiled Prince Gumball. He held up a parchment letter stamped with a half-mask, just like Fionna's. "But according to this invitation, we're supposed to use mystery names. And mine is...Lord Silenthind."

"My name is Duke Gooeytocks," scoffed LSP. He was dressed in a black tuxedo shirt that was rumpled as if he had carelessly pulled it on. The undershirt was bright red, as was the bow tie and the triangular red mask around his eyes. He sat in the recliner, claiming it as his own.

"I am Doctor Skirts," replied Beema. It was only dressed in a simple, Siamese-Cat-like mask that covered its screen. She sat on the left couch.

Cinnamon Bun waved from the right couch. She was dressed in an emerald-green, wide-skirted, puffy-shouldered, long-sleeved dress. The neckline dipped down in a V, the space covered in a pink and purple undershirt. Brown ankle boots and a ridiculously flowery hat accompanied. Her 'disguise' was a pair of insanely thick glasses and a glue-on mole that was mashed into her chin. "I'm Cinnamon Bun."

LSP scoffed and leaned forward to slap her lightly on the arm. "What does your invite say, idiot?"

"Oh, yeah," Cinnamon Bun pulled out the crumpled invite from inside her dress (LSP and Prince Gumball averted their eyes) and read it out. "Uh...it's 'Girl Furting'."

Fionna read her invitation name, chuckled, and did a phony curtsy. "Princess Finebod at your service."

Cake looked down at her name. "I'm Miranda Honeystub." She tossed the invitation over her shoulder carelessly and sat down next to Beema on the couch.

"So," said Fionna. There were a few beats of silence before she continued, "Who's our host, anyways?"

Prince Gumball shrugged his shoulders. "No one knows," he replied.

LSP chuckled and said, "Maybe she'll be a smokin' hot babe with huge cash." He took a swig of the soda bottle in his hand, still chuckling.

Cake made the smuggest smile imaginable and waved a finger at the lumpy royal. "Now, now, LSP. What would your girlfriend Brittany say about that?"

LSP made a bitter, sour face. His hand trembled on the bottle as if he were contemplating on throwing it at a window in anger. "Brittany and I broke up, like, a year ago, idiot."

Cake, Finn, Beema and Prince Gumball gasped in fraud shock. LSP, though as hard-shelled and cool-headed as he was, had always gone into a furious rampage at Brittany's name a million times before. Cinnamon Bun, however, gasped in actual, real shock, her eyes sparkling.

"Now's my chance...!"

LSP's jaw dropped and he glared at her. "No way in Lumpy Space, Cinnamon Bun."

Cinnamon Bun burst into tears, which soaked her icing and caused it to plop to the floor. She took off running for the corner, sobbing and bawling pathetically. Everyone was just about to tell LSP off for causing Cinnamon Bun to cry, when they took note of the parchment envelope taped to her iced back.

"Excuse me, Girl Furting," said Prince Gumball, "There's something on your back."

Cinnamon Bun paused in her crying and tried to reach behind her and grab the envelope, but her arms were so short they just barely brushed her shoulders. "Where?" she sniffled, trying to reach more. "Am I close?"

"Here, I got it," Fionna walked forward and peeled the envelope away from the pastry's back. She shook the icing off with a few flicks of her hand. "LSP, if this says 'KICK ME', I'm going to kill you." LSP rolled his eyes.

Prince Gumball turned to the others with an eyebrow raised. "Did any of y'all put that there?" The response was shaking heads and repetitive negatives. "What does it say, Princess Sweetbod?"

Fionna cleared her throat and read out the invitation.

_"Dear guests:_

_I am your emcee_

_I am an entity"_

The others gasped in shock.

_"By the time you have finished,_

_I will have possessed one of you,_

_and have you all...diminished"_

A shorter, shocked gasp followed.

"We gotta get outta here!" cried Cinnamon Bun. She took off for the sliding doors, her arms flailing behind her.

Fionna called, "CB, wait! Anyone who tries to retire will instantly expire!"

"Nononononono!" CB put her hands in between the cracks in the door and tried to pry them apart. They seemed to be sealed shut, not moving in the slightest. Not even the windows quaked.

Suddenly, all light in the tower flashed out. Lightning flashed outside in a white blast. Thunder boomed all around them, and CB remained silent.

When the light returned, all that remained of the pastry was a pure white skeleton.

Everyone else in the room screamed. LSP let out a girly, high-pitched squeal of "SHE'S DEEEEEAD!" and fell off the couch. There was a sudden, heavy atmosphere in the room, like a hammer had just been dropped down. Panic was just about to ensue when Cake scoffed and said, "That's real nice."

"CUPCAKE, WHAT THE MESS DO YOU MEAN, 'THAT'S REAL NICE'?!" screamed Fionna. Her eyes had gone very large and her muscles were rigid. "CINNAMON JUST DIED AND THAT'S 'REAL NICE'?!"

Cake sighed and stepped over to Cinnamon Bun's skeleton so casually you would think she was walking to the mailbox. She put her paws on her hips and looked at Fionna with annoyance. "Oh, come ON, Fifi. I pulled the exact same trick on your birthday!" She knelt down and, to everyone's horror, plucked Cinnamon Bun's skull off of her skeleton. To make it even WORSE, she put her thumb in the jaw and her other fingers through the eyes like a sick puppet. She made the skull's jaw move as she talked. "I set up all the skeletons, making you think everyone was dead."

Prince Gumball shook out of his stupor enough to shrug uneasily and say, "I-It looks real to me."

Cake scoffed and waved a paw in the air. "So cliche. Use the same trick again."

Fionna pushed up her raccoon mask so Cake could see her sincere face. She frowned deeply. "Cupcake. I swear I'm not pranking you. Cinnamon Bun is dead."

Cake's face went from smug to tragic. She dropped Cinnamon Bun's skull limply.

"The question is," continued Fionna. She looked at the others harshly. "...who killed her?"

* * *

><p>"One of us is possessed by a murderer. If we want to leave this place alive, we're gonna have to figure out who it is before they kill again."<p>

Prince Gumball glared at Cake suspiciously. Cake glared back. Prince Gumball glared at LSP. LSP glared back. Beema smiled at everyone.

"BEEMA!"

Fionna's index finger flew down and landed on the small computer console.

"Use your ghost-detecting equipment and scan everyone, would ya?"

Beema flipped open the square holding her controls and dug out three glass vials and cotton swabs. She closed the square and turned to LSP, gesturing for him to bend down. LSP did so and opened his mouth. LSP moved the cotton swab around his cheeks. LSP smacked his lips afterwards. "That tastes like pillows."

Beema swabbed Prince Gumball next. The royal prince moved his tongue around his mouth afterwards to get rid of the dry spots.

Beema swabbed Cake's mouth next. As the computer stuck the swab in its vial, she looked at Cake suspiciously. "Hmmmm..."

Cake rose an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'hmmmm'?"

Beema shrugged. "Nothing..."

Fionna, LSP, and Prince Gumball leaned in to whisper with one another. "Cupcake..." "Maybe it's here..." "I always knew it..."

Beema tucked the vials back into the compartment and hummed loudly. "Processing data." A few whirs, chinks, and finally, a beep was heard, and Beema smiled up at Fionna. "Data complete."

Prince Gumball looked uneasy. He paused and asked, "So...who's the entity?"

"What?" Beema looked up at them and paused. She was wiping a button with a swab. She slowly put it away, and said, "I...don't have that kind of equipment. I just like taking DNA samples."

"We should find a light source," Cake said. The others gave her looks of confusion, and she explained, "If the light goes out again, we'll be able to see who the murderer is."

"That's a great idea!" Fionna exclaimed. She turned to the others. "We should get some other things, too. Rope, handcuffs, something we can contain the killer with. Cake, Beema, you guys cover the first three floors. We'll take the next three."

"OK..." Cake shrugged and stood with Beema. The two friends approached one of the pristine elevators, and Beema hit the button. A moment later, the elevator doors slid out to reveal a compartment with silver walls and white carpet, a bit dingy but still durable. Cake and Beema stepped inside and hit the next button.

Fionna glared at Cake as the doors closed.

* * *

><p>The first three floors of the tower were incredibly dark. The power had not returned to them. The only light came from the flashes of lightning and the glare of Beema's screen. Beema and Cake crept through the halls, darting into rooms and looking around for any light source, but could not find any, as of yet. Cake looked down at Beema and said, "I want the beans, Beema. Is this a prank?"<p>

"No, Cake, this is real," replied Beema. "I know you're scared, and you want to think that this is a joke, but it is real. Cinnamon Bun is dead."

Beema pushed open the next door and looked inside. It seemed to be a supply closet. There was a vacuum, a broom, a duster, and a few cardboard boxes. Beema opened the first one and smiled. It was packed full of flashlights. "Bingo!" she pulled out a flashlight and flipped the switch. A pale white light shot out from the end. She held it out to Cake.

Cake took it with a small squee. She held it up under her chin and jokingly made a scary face. She spun the flashlight in a circle and sighed. "Thanks, Beema...Beema?"

Cake frowned. The hallway was suddenly surreal dark. Pitch black. No light from the lightning, only from the flashlight. Beema was nowhere to be seen. "...Beema?"

"HELP!"

Cake jumped. Something shot past her, brushing against her arm. It felt icy cold and airy, like vapor. She span around and tried to see what it was, but it was gone. Cake whipped around, left to right. "BEEMA?!"

"CAKE, HELP ME!"

Cake spun around. Beema was standing a few feet away, surrounded by darkness. Her Siamese cat mask hung at her side. Her screen flashed horror and terror. "HELP ME!"

Suddenly, a thousand snowy white, icy cold hands shot out from the darkness and pulled Beema out of the light. The computer screamed.

Cake screamed at the top of her lungs. She shot off for the elevator, slamming the button down and darting inside the instant it appeared. "AAAAAAAA—"

* * *

><p>"—AAAAAAHHH!" Cake finished screaming when the doors of the elevator opened. She hurriedly stumbled out as if another entity was in there with her. She ran to and fro, screaming at the top of her lungs. "ASSEMBLE! EVERYONE! GET YOUR BUTTS DOWN HERE!"<p>

A minute later, the other elevator opened up and Fionna and Prince Gumball stepped out. The doors shut behind them and they gave Cake looks of confusion. "Where's Beema?" asked Fionna.

"THE ENTITY GOT IT!" screamed Cake. She waved her arms around madly as if they had lost their bones. "WE WERE LOOKING FOR LIGHTS AND WE FOUND A BOX AND THEN EVERYTHING WENT DARK AND A BUNCH OF HANDS PULLED IT INTO THE DARKNESS!"

Fionna glared at her sister and slowly, as if her words were melting, said, "Don't you mean _you_ got it, ENTITY!" she stomped over to Cake so fast and harshly that she absentmindedly knocked Prince Gumball over on his stomach.

He quickly shot up to his feet and stumbled over to the two sisters, saying, "Listen, if there really is an entity, then we need to stick together. That way, if it attacks again, there'll be a greater chance of us surviving."

A scream suddenly ripped through the air. Instantly, the three friends pulled each other in with their arms. The scream continued shrieking, then screamed again, and again. It suddenly struck the three that it was LSP screaming. Prince Gumball meekly called, "LSP, are you okay?!"

The elevator beeped, and three three friends stiffened. The elevator beeped again, then again, and again and again. Finally, it beeped one last time and the elevators opened.

LSP continued to scream until it droned into a bored groan. He huffed, then yelled, "I AM SO BOOORED!" He spun around in the air to amuse himself, then stopped. "I'm huuuuungry." He looked around the room until he found the silver door labeled CAFETERIA. He took off for it. "Food, food, food..."

The others followed him to stick together. The cafeteria was a long, wide room with gray carpet floors and white walls covered in black fleur-de-lis patterns, and oil and acrylic paintings. There was one table in the room, long and sleek, in the shape of a sort of surfboard. The seats were very plush, black cushions on silver-painted wood. The wallpaper was sort of peeling and there was a large water stain on the carpet in the corner, and several chairs had holes in the cushions, but other than that, everything seemed well.

LSP noticed the lack of food, however, and groaned loudly once again. "Where's the fooooooood? This is a poor people's house, I swear!"

"Calm yourself, boy," sighed Cake. She looked up at Fionna. "Any more lights upstairs?"

Fionna huffed. "No."

"Well, there was a box of flashlights upstairs, but I'm not going back for 'em."

Fionna looked at her suspiciously. "Yeah..." She reached into her sash and pulled out the parchment invitation, flipping it open and looking inside. "Let me remind y'all that the invite says that one of us will be possessed."

"Not me," said LSP.

"Someone at this table _isn't who they appear to be_," droned Cake. She looked around at the others. Prince Gumball was rubbing the back of his neck. LSP was scratching at his stomach through his shirt.

Fionna gave Cake a hard look and slowly said, "That's right, _Cupcake_." She raised her hands and bent her index and middle fingers in quotation marks. She leaned over her older sister with a harsh glare. "I'm gonna ask you a question only the REAL Cupcake could answer correctly. Who is always with me during my midday hallucinations?"

"A quarter-troll monk."

"Alright, you're Cupcake." Fionna straightened her back and turned to the two boys in the room. "So. Who _else_ was absent when Beema got 'napped?"

Everyone glared at LSP instantly. The lumpy prince rolled his eyes behind his mask and scoffed, "Yeah. _I'm_ the ghoulie. I was looking for flashlights, too, ya idiots!"

"Maybe you were. Maybe you weren't. Tell me this—"

"Why did you dump Brittany?" demanded Cake. When a few beats of confused silence followed her statement, she added, "Only the REAL LSP would know that."

LSP glared icily at the feline and crossed his arms over his chest as he spat, "As if YOU would know the real answer."

"Yeah, I just like gossip."

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR LUMPIN' BUSINESS!"

"How furious," observed Fionna. LSP raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'And?' Fionna brought her finger down through the air and pointed at her friend. "YOU'RE THE GHOST!"

Prince Gumball's eyes flew wide open. He cringed and wrung his hands in front of his chest. "Tie her up before he kills all of us!"

Fionna's blue-green gaze turned to her crush. She squinted and put a hand on her hip. "Strange how you don't even try to defend your best friend. Before we tie up LSP, let me ask you this: What—"

"BRITTANY CAME ON TOO STRONG, ALRIGHT?!" LSP suddenly exploded. Prince Gumball's jaw dropped and Cake's mouth formed an 'O'. LSP slammed his fists down on the table with a growl of rage. "AND I WAS ALL LIKE, 'BRITTANY, YOU NEED TO LAY OFF', AND SHE WAS ALL LIKE, 'FINE, I'LL COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE A MAN!'. BUT I **AM **A MAN, BRITTANY! ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS? _**IS. THAT. NOT. OBVIOUS**_?!"

Fionna paused to stare at her friend, then shook her head and turned back to Prince Gumball. "Answer me this, Prince—"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, BRITTANY?! YOU SAID THAT I WAS THE MANLIEST MAN IN LUMPY SPACE! WHY DO YOU EVEN...ERMAGERD DISIHO RUSRAHING!"

Fionna turned back to Prince Gumball before she was interrupted again. "What did I sing to you on your birthday two years ago?"

"...'Happy Birthday'?" Prince Gumball said in a completely deadpan voice.

"...In what language?"

"Fionna, how on earth would I know? You were just saying 'eh-oo-ee' over and over."

"FRENCH! IT WAS FRENCH!" screamed Fionna. Her eyes went watery and her face flushed red under her mask. "THE REAL PRINCE GUMBALL WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT!"

"YOU'RE NOT PG!" screamed Cake. She glared at her old friend menacingly and pointed a finger at her. "TIE YOUS UP BEFORE YA START A-KILLING AGAIN!"

LSP's eyes shot up on his forehead. "Whoa."

Cake began to stretch her furry arms around the prince's body, tightly around his arms and legs to keep him bound. Prince Gumball, just before his hand was rendered useless, gasped loudly and pointed at the floor. "LOOK OUT!"

Fionna looked down and jumped. The entire floor of the cafeteria was wavering and lapping like water. It bounced up and down, quavering in a liquid state. Yet, they all stood on it like solid floor. Suddenly, something emerged from the wavering floor. It was transparent and large, having no form, like a mass of mist. It shot around the room, bouncing off the walls and narrowly avoiding the others.

"A REAL ENTITY?" screamed Fionna. The entity shot through her bunny ears, making them fly backward.

"DON'T FRIGGIN' COME NEAR ME, MAN!" LSP yelled at the entity. It whirled around him twice, as if to tease him. LSP picked up one of the chairs of the table and swung it around like a weapon. "DON'T. YOU. FRIGGIN'. COME NEAR ME!"

The entity did several spins in the air before it shot at Prince Gumball. It passed either around or through him, but either way, vanished quickly. The floor returned to normal and the others looked at Prince Gumball worriedly.

The prince's flesh and bones began to melt, turning him into a pink mound of dripping, wax-like liquid.

Fionna and Cake screamed at the top of their lungs. Fionna didn't know what to do. She wanted to cry and vomit and scream at the same time. A cold sweat broke out on her skin, and her eyes were bulging painfully. Her throat was scorching and her eyes were horribly dry. She clutched her sister's shoulders, trembling like a cold Chihuaha. "T-This...wasn't...supposed t-to happen..."

"WHAT?!" Cake rounded on her sister, ripping her hands from her shoulders. She glared up at Fionna with acidic fury. "THIS _WAS_ A PRANK!"

"Y-yeah!" admitted Fionna. She had spent the last month trying to get Cake back for scaring her on her birthday. It wasn't easy at all. First, she had to set a late enough date that everyone could go to. She had to find a place for the prank for occur, and as if led by some strange force, she found the tower. She set up every detail, every action, every little thing that would happen. And everything was going so perfectly... "It was all setup! The doors, Cinnamon Bun, Beema and the hands...Oh, swizz! Beema and Cinnamon Bun are supposed to be in the pantry!"

Fionna took off in a dash for the white door labeled PANTRY. "Guys! Guys! The prank's over. We need to go—AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Fionna shrieked in horror.

Cinnamon Bun was mutilated almost beyond recognition. Her body seemed to be destroyed into halves, her upper half plastered in the right ceiling corner of the pantry and her lower half plastered in the left ceiling corner of the pantry. Her body was melted and mushed, dripping and gooey. Fionna could see her eyes, white and lifeless, stuck in all of the horrible mess, as well as several teeth and a tongue.

Cake shrieked, then absolutely shrilled when she looked down.

On the floor of the pantry was Beema. Its face was ripped off its body, laying a few inches away like a discarded piece of trash. Its screen was dimmed and static, but you could see a look of absolute horror on it, as if Beema had been screaming. Wires splayed around like intestines, chips and boards scattered and broken like bones. Beema's small limbs were ripped from its body, and Fionna felt like she were looking at the scene of one of her dolls being broken. Beema's batteries looked fried, and the scene was topped by the Siamese cat mask she wore, which, instead of having a cute little smile, was snarling, sharp fangs unleashed. A chunk of Cinnamon Bun, which happened to also have one of her eyes, dripped down from the ceiling and plopped inside of Beema's body. Fionna felt bile rise in her throat, and feared she would vomit.

"OOOOOOOOH MYYYY GLOOOOOOB!" LSP screamed in horror. He hyperventilated for a moment, his chest pumping and and his mouth agape. He whipped out his scratched, dirtied phone and began to type furiously. "THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING A CAB!"

Every light in the room flashed out.

The room was pitch black except for the blue light flashing out of LSP's cellphone. The misty form of the entity appeared in the darkness, curling and shaping in the air. LSP screamed and flew off in the other direction.

"LSP, WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Fionna shrieked. She couldn't see anything and she was trembling all over. She felt as if something were eating away at her belly.

"GET AWAY! NO!" LSP continued to dash and scream, but it was no use. The entity appeared once more, curling around LSP's body like a constrictor. LSP screamed and thrashed as the entity pulled him into itself, curling away before disappearing from sight.

The lights returned, but LSP didn't.

"WHERE IS HE?!" yelled Fionna. She whipped her head left and right, getting a bad whiplash suddenly, looking for her friend.

Cake pointed at the far wall. "Look!"

In one of the oil paintings on the wall was LSP. The painting depicted a woman with a tall, bony neck, slitted green eyes, flowing black hair, and a dress made out of black feathers and bones waving a hand out in front of her. Crows seemed to blast from her fingers, taking shape and form until every feather was viewable. The crows hailed on LSP, scratching and clawing. The boy seemed to be screaming in horror, his phone still clutched in his hand.

Fionna didn't remember the painting being there before.

"Fifi, I'm scared," whimpered Cake.

A soft, high-pitched laughter drifted through the air. The fleur-de-lis pattern on the wall began to move and curl themselves, spinning and twisting. Fionna and Cake shuddered, their throats caught and speechless.

Something moved in the massacre-filled pantry. A moment later, the entity appeared, curling out of the pantry and moving towards the sisters.

"RUUUUUUN, SISTAH, RUUUUUN!"

Cake grabbed Fionna's arm with her paws and harshly pulled her away from the entity and out of the cafeteria. The two girls stumbled through the lobby to the front sliding doors, drenched with raindrops. "OPEN IT! NOW!" yelled Fionna.

Cake latched her paws between the doors and pulled with every last ounce of strength within her, but the doors didn't so much as budge. "It WON'T!" She screamed. She grew her bottom paw twice as large and attempted to kick the glass of the door out, only for her paw to reel back on impact as she whimpered in pain.

The entity appeared in the lobby, and before either girls could do anything, it shot at them, hitting them very solidly and lifting them into the air. The girls' stomachs lurched and twisted as their bodies were shot around the room. Somehow, they crashed onto the staircase harshly and painfully. Fionna felt a sharp pang in her elbow and Cake grunted in pain as she clutched her knee. Fionna forced herself to her feet and started up the stairs. "C'mon, Cupcake!"

"Alright..."

Fionna ran quickly up the stairs and to the nearest door. She quickly flung it open and turned around. "CUPCAKE! HURRY!"

"Ah! Agh!" Cake hobbled up the stairs, stumbling and tripping as her right leg crumpled on each footfall. "I hit my funnybone!"

She was entirely oblivious to the entity behind her until it was too late.

"CAKEY!"

Fionna screamed as the entity latched onto Cake's lower half like a leech. Cake screamed as she was lifted into the air and clawed for Fionna's hands. Fionna quickly caught her sister's paws and began to pull with all her strength. "DON'T LET GO, FIFI!"

"NO!" Fionna shrieked as Cake's paws began to slip from her grasp. "YOU'RE GLOVES!"

Cake's paws slipped away.

Cake let out one last shriek as the entity pulled her away from her sister, all the way back down the stairs, and into the floor without a moment's hesitation. The floor wavered like water where Cake disappeared.

Fionna fell backwards when Cake was slipped from her grasp and fell on her backside. The room she was in seemed like a filing room of the tower. At least a dozen beige metal filing cabinets were in the room, rusted and moldy. A few drawers were open to see the remains of papers and manilla files inside. Other than that, the room was absolutely plain, with beige walls and white floors.

Fionna panted heavily as the impact of the situation hit her. Cinnamon Bun, Beema, Prince Gumball, LSP, and her own sister were all...dead. Dead. Dead, dead, dead. Just like that. She wouldn't see them anymore, she would wouldn't hear them speak anymore, she wouldn't be aware of their existence from now on. What was she going to do when she returned? The Candy people were going to be devastated! And who would take place as the ruler? And LSP's parents! No dount they would die of grief when the news of their dead sons arrived! Even Cinnamon Bun would be missed! And Lord Monochromicorn would never see his girlfriend again! And now, Fionna would return home every day to a completely silent house. No sisters to pat her on the back when she walked through the door, no computer consoles running up to her to ask if she wanted to play a game.

She curled up in a ball, feeling as hollow as a log and as heavy as a boulder. She was utterly alone.

A sudden sound broke through the air, like wind blowing through trees. Fionna whirled around and saw that one of the walls was trembling like a glitching photo on a computer. A large green mass emerged from it, taking the shape of a monster with scaly green skin and long, greasy green hair and acidic red eyes. It looked to be a male. It smiled down at Fionna as it approached, making all matter around it tremble and waver.

Fionna grabbed one of the lighter filing cabinets and quickly chucked it at the wall. A deep indentation appeared, and she punched it harshly. A small hole appeared, and Fionna wrapped her arms around her body before she crashed her body through the wall.

She emerged in a bedroom with pale blue walls and black floors. There was a large orange bed against one wall, a tall black fireplace with no wood, and two pictures of pure white rabbits. Suddenly, the walls began to expand, taking the shapes of crawling hands. The rabbits began to hiss and snarl in the paintings, leaping out and running around the room wildly. The crystal chandelier in the roof moved and reshaped itself to resemble a sparkling jaw that chomped and bit at Fionna. Fionna flung the exiting door open and ran out of the room.

Fionna ran and ran higher and higher until she could no longer run. She had arrived at the roof of the tower. The cold raindrops felt like bullets against her skin, and the harsh wind brought tears to her eyes. She was soaked within seconds. Lightning flashed brightly overhead. The thunder mad her body tremble.

She ran to the edge of the roof and looked down. The ocean (OCEAN!) had swelled to massive size, lapping at the first few floors of the tower. The bottom half of the cliff was engulfed by water and the rain only helped.

The entity appeared out of the roof. It swirled up in the pounding air, curling towards Fionna menacingly.

Fionna did the only thing that came to mind.

She shrieked at the top of her lungs and covered her face.

The entity laughed.

And not a deadly, deep, distorted laugh, either. It was bright a cheery and very...familiar.

The entity's misty skin fell off to the roof.

Cake sat atop Lord Monochromicorn's head, laughing like a jackal. She continued laughing madly and looked down at her younger sister. "Gotcha! Two for two!"

"...WHAT."

"I found out about you're plan _months_ ago! So I flipped the switch on this play! Boooooy!"

Fionna looked down at her gloved fingers and ticked them off. "So...they're all OK? Beema, Cinnamon Bun."

Lord Monochromicorn stepped forward, his long body pulling along with him. Fionna saw that the others, perfectly alive and well, were with him. Well, not really _with_ him, but _in _him. As in, everyone's bodies were embedded in Lord Monochromicorn's.

"AWESOME!" exclaimed Fionna. "You can embed people into your bod?"

"- ..-. / -.-. - ..- .-. ... . .-.-.- / .. / -.. - / - ... .. ... / .- .-.. .-.. / - ... . / - .. - . .-.-.-"

LSP murmured something about being ready for Brittany, then promptly fell right to sleep.

Fionna looked over at Prince Gumball. "But you melted!"

"It was a wax figurine. Cake switched me out with it while Mo-Chro was distracting you."

"I CANNOT believe you got me again!" laughed Fionna. She slapped her sister on the arm playfully, and laughed, "With the hair, and the moving objects..."

Cake smirked. "Huh?"

"You know, the painting with the rabbits and the crazy chandelier."

"I...think you were imagining all that biz. We never did that."

"I...don't think I did..."

"Nice try, Fifi," Cake sarcastically laughed. She looked down at her boyfriend and said, "Let's get out of this asylum."

Fionna hopped onto Lord Monochromicorn's back, and all seven of them flew off of the roof into the stormy air. The rain was decreasing to a softer rainfall. The lightning continued to flash, but the thunder was quieter and less like-an-earthquake. Fionna sighed in content and looked up to the sky, marveling at the bright flashes of color. Then, she frowned.

She remembered the green creature in the filing room, smiling at her with its red eyes bright as every matter around it buzzed and flickered.

"...That's going in the Chamber," said Fionna. She closed her eyes and concentrated. "And...it's gone."

* * *

><p>TRIVIA<p>

Cinnamon Bun may have feelings for Lumpy Space Prince, as demonstrated when she says, "Now's my chance," when She hears that he has broken up with his girlfriend

EPISODE CONNECTIONS

Cake's trick in "Mystery Plane" is alluded to at the beginning of the episode.

Brittany from "Trouble in Lumpy Space" is mentioned. Lumpy Space Prince reveals why he broke up with Brittany in the first place.


	64. VERY IMPORTANT

ATTENTION!

VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

I AN RESTARTING THE SERIES!

BEFORE YOU START FREAKING OUT, I AM ONLY RESTARTING THE SERIES BECAUSE I WANT TO ADD MORE SPECIALTY TO THEM, TO MAKE THEM MORE DIFFERENT THAN THE ACTUAL EPISODES. ALSO, A WHOLE LOT OF NEW FIONNA AND CAKE CANON IS COMING UP, SO I'M RESTARTING THE SERIES TO FIT IN WITH IT.

FIRST EPISODE TO BE OUT SOON.


	65. SORRY!

OK! OK! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

I WON'T RESTART THE STORY, I SWEAR!

I wasn't planning on completely changing the personalities of the characters. I, too, agree that I did not entirely like the gender-swap characters as they were portrayed in the episodes. The only reason I wanted to restart the story is because there was a WHOLE lot of new canon coming out (how Fionna and FP meet, the Ice Queen's origin, whether the Ice Queen is still alive or not, etc.) and I wanted to sort of tie-in with the new canon.

So, I'll continue with the story. But, I will be adding A LOT more special flair to the episodes. The fanfic!episodes will be loosely based off of real!episodes. And if more canon comes out to change it, I'll fix it.

Sorry, again.


	66. Out of the Frying Pan

**OUT OF THE FRYING PAN**

Fionna turned over in her animal-skin bed, yawning under her breath as the blankets curled around her body. Across the room, Cake's furry tail twitched lazily over the side of her drawer-made-bed. The room was quiet and dark, with no sounds of a recharging computer console, as it was currently on a vacation with its softball friends. A few moths beat against the window. A cockroach crawled across the bookshelf. A few planks of wood creaked with heat. Otherwise, nothing made a sound.

Fionna's eyes flew open with a sudden sound. It sounded like a thumping, creaking sound from downstairs. She thought it was nothing, maybe a few things fell off of shelves, and closed her eyes to return to her slumber. But just a moment later, the sound came again, louder and harder. Fionna sat up and bed and looked at Cake across the room. Her sister was sleeping soundly. Fionna paused, then threw her legs over the side of the bed and walked over to the ladder that lead downstairs. She set her feet and hands on the steps and climbed down.

The living room was dark and cool. The sound was louder now, thumping, creaking, and almost growling. It seemed to be coming from further downstairs, in the tree trunk. Fionna climbed down the next ladder and arrived in the next room. The sound was almost booming now. The front door was rattling on its hinges. Fionna, a bit nervous, grabbed a nearby bat half-buried in a pile of gold and jewels. She held it out and slowly approached the door.

She was barely halfway across the room when the door burst open.

A Candy person stumbled through the door clumsily. it seemed to be a chocolate bar, or maybe an éclair. Fionna couldn't see well in the dim light. But it was growling, and stumbling. _He's probably had a few bottles of corn syrup_, Fionna thought. It stumbled towards her.

"Hey, back off, man," said Fionna. She held the bat out in defense. "I have a sport instrument and I am NOT afraid to whoop your butt with it."

The Candy person stumbled forward once more. Fionna saw that he or she looked pale. Too pale for a Candy person. Maybe it was sick? It growled again, and Fionna saw the yellowness of its teeth in the dull light. Too yellow. Fionna's eyebrows furrowed and she said, "Are you OK?"

The Candy person clawed at her, and Fionna instinctively jumped back. The Candy person clawed again, stumbling forward. Just as Fionna was about to swing the bat, several more Candy people stumbled inside in the same state, growling and clawing. Fionna tucked the bat under her arm and hurriedly climbed up the ladder once more.

She arrived in the bedroom quicker than she thought she would. She ran over to Cake and shook her awake. "CUPCAKE!"

The Cat's paw shot out into a large fist that socked Fionna in the gut. Seemingly unaware of what she had done, Cake said, "Fifi, I need my REM. Wassup?"

"There are invaders in the house!"

"Again?"

"FRIGGIN' AGAIN!"

Something hit the window, hard. Cake jumped three feet into the air and landed in Fionna's arms.

"GET YOUR FAT BUTTS OUT HERE!" LSP screamed through the thin glass of the window. He had his hands gripped onto the mane of Lord Monochromicorn, and was giving the girls looks of annoyance.

Fionna and Cake ran to the window and flung it open. A gust of cold wind broke through the air. "Lordy!" Cake cried. "Are you dead?!"

"-.- . ... .-.-.-"

The door of the bedroom burst open with a sudden thud. Fionna and Cake jumped and turned around to see the several zombie-like Candy people pour into the room. They stumbled toward the girls, clawing and growling at them. LSP let out a groan of annoyance before he grabbed Fionna and Cake by the cuffs of their shirts and pulled them onto Lord Monochromicorn's back. Said Monochromicorn quickly shot away from the Treehouse and flew away into the night. Within minutes, the Candy Kingdom was visible.

"LSP. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?!" Fionna breathed out in desperation. She could feel the bags under her eyes growing by the second.

"Oh, right...uh..." LSP drummed his lips. "I'm pretty sure that PG crumped up again. Yeah, everyone is a zambie."

"Not AGAIN!" Fionna slapped a hand to her face at the very memory of causing the outbreak of the zombie a year ago. At least she didn't have to hide it.

Within the minute, the four of them were flying over the streets of the kingdom. Down below, Fionna saw HUNDREDS of mutant candy zombies stumbling in the streets, falling on their faces and growling through their teeth. They were lumbering in the direction of the castle, which seemed to be cast in a dark shadow of despair. Lord Monochromicorn approached the castle doors, which swung open with zombie just ten feet away. With a burst of speed, Lord Monochromicorn shot through the doors, which slammed shut behind him.

"Is everyone OK?" Prince Gumball asked as he brought the huge lead latch down on the doors. His hair was a bit messed and his white labcoat was rumpled as if he had rolled and unfurled it eleven times over.

"Prince Gumball!" Fionna said with a large sigh of relief.

Prince Gumball turned to the human teenager and nodded. "Yes, Fionna. An outbreak of zombies has arrived in the Candy Kingdom once more. And once more...it is my entire fault..."

* * *

><p><em>Papers and notes covered the surfaces of the lab. Beakers and vials filled with brightly covered liquids were sloppily stacked atop of them. Spoons and swabs were stocked inside boxes. Several bright orange boxes labeled 'BIOHAZERDOUS' were in the corners of the room. Latex gloves and tissues were in tall garbage cans. A single chalkboard was absolutely covered in white and pink streaks.<em>

_Prince Gumball lifted up the mushy mass of garbage with his fingers, covered in the black rubber gloves that were embedded in the walls of the glass glove box. He used the other hand to lightly pour a single drop of orange Decorpserum onto the mass. The mass seemed to shrivel just a bit, but remained unchanged from being gray-black and putrid-smelling._

_**I was working on a sample of zombified Candy flesh I had saved, when Cinnamon Bun walked into the lab. **_

_Cinnamon Bun carelessly slammed the door of the lab open, making the beakers and boxes shake by the force. Prince Gumball jumped, almost spilling some more of the Decorpserum, and gave the living pastry a sour look of annoyance. Cinnamon Bun walked over to the prince's side with a skip in her step._

_**She said that she wanted something to eat.**_

_"FEED ME!" cried Cinnamon Bun. She raised and lowered her hands in exasperation._

_"Not right now, Cinnamon Bun," Prince Gumball sighed in response. He removed his hands from the rubber gloves of the glove box and picked up the clipboard and pen. He clicked the pen on and began to write down the results of the experiment. "I'm sciencing, here."_

_**That's when I made the fatal flaw. I should have paid attention to the girl!**_

_Cinnamon Bun looked through the glass of the glove box and noticed the mass of Candy-Zombie flesh, gray-black, just ever-so-slightly specked with pink and blue. Curious, she completely ignored the foot-long warning notice on the glass of the glove box and pressed the glowing button that opened the door. With a hiss of steam, the door popped open, and Cinnamon Bun reached inside with unprotected hands. She swiped a finger along the top of the flesh and licked it afterwards. It was very bittersweet, but somehow tasty. With a hum, she reached inside and lifted the entire flesh-mass and bit into it all at once._

_**The Candy-Zombie flesh she digested was highly radioactive. Even touching it with bare hands was a risk!**_

_Prince Gumball, who was putting away the vial of Decorpserum that he was just using, lifted up a new vial with a very long label and held it up to the light, observing its contents. He did not notice at all that Cinnamon Bun was deeply moaning in pain, clutching her icing-coated stomach as she collapsed on her knees. Her stomach was pounding with pain, and her head felt stuffed. Her limbs were numb and immovable._

_Prince Gumball pulled the end fitting of the syringe-like dropper, filling it with the contents of the vial. Suddenly, a deep, heavy growl sounded off behind him. Assuming that Cinnamon Bun was whining, he put on the sternest face he could muster. Naturally, the face fell away when he saw that Cinnamon Bun was hunched over on the floor, growling and groaning._

_"Cinnamon Bun? Are you OK?"_

_Cinnamon Bun suddenly jumped to her feet. Her icing was gray, her bread was black, and her eyes were shining a sickly shade of green. White drool spilled from her mouth filled with bony, sharp teeth and a slimy gray tongue. She clawed for the prince with a single roar of, "SUGAR!"_

* * *

><p>"I managed to just barely escape," Prince Gumball said. "But Cinnamon Bun did, too, and infected the entirety of the kingdom." He sighed heavily, then looked down at the papers in his hand. Fionna noticed that he was also carrying a syringe-like dropper filled with a dark orange liquid. "I managed to take these notes and the dropper of Decorpserum. But the serum is incomplete. it needs more properties. Luckily, the notes list the properties needed to complete the serum."<p>

"Thank Glob!" Fionna sighed with a wide smile. Cake wiped the sweat from her forehead, and LSP grunted, looking around the room for some food.

"Let's barricade this place," Prince Gumball said with a small smile. He reached into the pocket of his lab coat and pulled out the hammer inside. "Then we'll go to my lab and we can get started."

Right at that moment, the window that the prince was standing before burst open, and a zombified eclair leaned inside. With a snarl, she wrapped her bony gray arms around the prince's front and sank her slimy white teeth into the flesh of his neck.

Prince Gumball instinctively let out a loud cry of pain and surprise. The Candy-Zombie sank its bacteria-covered teeth deeper into the prince's neck, bringing a waterfall of slimy white saliva down the prince's lab coat, and began to pull him outwards. Prince Gumball tried to keep himself inside, but his strength was shrinking and infectious fatigue was overtaking his body.

"PRINCE GUMBALL!" shrieked Fionna. She darted forward, and took hold of the prince's arms, pulling with all her might to bring him back inside. But it was no use. The other Candy-Zombies had appeared, and several had taken hold of their prince, pulling him into their crowd as they sank their teeth into his back and sides.

Prince Gumball, though maybe a bit surprised, managed to stay amazingly calm as his body was pulled towards the monsters. He looked at the human girl and breathed out, "Don't worry, Fionna. You have the notes and the serum." Already, his purple-pink eyes were beginning to darken to a sickly shade of green. "Just let chemistry do the work. Chemistry...is...my _biiiiiaaaaaaaarrrrrrd..."_

Prince Gumball's words faded away as his glowing green eyes bulged out of his skull, his pink flesh darkening to gray as it dropped off of his body.

"NOOOOO!" cried Fionna. In a last ditch effort, she tried to pull her zombified crush back inside. But he was pulling, as well, whether to join his kind or to take her with him.

"GET HIM OUTTA HERE!"

LSP suddenly appeared in front of Fionna, holding a large shard of the broken glass that had burst from the window. He swiped it through the air, making a deep cut in the prince's cheek that shined with a dark black liquid. The prince's head swooped right from the force.

"LSP, NO!"

"Nuh-uh," LSP lifted up one of the wooden boards scattered across the floor of the Grand Hall. He picked up Prince Gumball's forgotten hammer and began to pound the already-present nails into the walls on either side of the window. The zombies growled in confusion and annoyance. "I ain't going out like this." A zombified peanut poked its head inside of the gaps in the window. LSP hit him hard in the temple with the head of the hammer. "LUMP OFF! YOU, TOO!" He hit another curious zombie in the scalp.

"Oh...Prince Gumball..." Fionna only just managed to whisper through the lump in her throat. Her eyes weren't burning, and neither was her throat, telling her that she wasn't about to cry...Maybe it was just the shock of the prince's absence. Glob knows what he was doing now, as a zombie...

To calm her sister down, Cake picked up the notes left behind by the prince. Every page was filled to the ink with benzene rings, cyclohexanes, probability axioms and a crazy number of infinite loops. She might as well be reading hieroglyphics. "Fifi, these notes look like your three-year-old birthday photos..."

"Oh, DANG, really?!" Fionna grabbed one of the notes out of her sister's paws. Sure enough, it _did _look like those horrid birthday photographs of her three-year-old toddler self. She looked at the pages and noticed that there were exactly four of them. "We should all try to make our own versions of them. If we keep trying, we're bound to get it right eventually!"

Fionna passed pages to Cake, Lord Monochromicorn, and LSP, keeping the last one for herself. "Let's go science this grunk up!"

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, the four friends were locked inside the laboratory of the absent edible prince. To their benefit, the liquids, powders, and in-betweens were still set out by the prince. And, since they were all labeled, they looked at the notes and grabbed the vials that matched some of the ineligible words. They each grabbed all the ingredients needed, and set out to find the solution for the Decorpserum.<p>

Fionna took three spoonfuls of a putrid green powder and stirred it inside a beaker filled with a bubbly yellow liquid. The result was the beaker puffing out a cloud of steam and the liquid turning a dark blue color. Fionna picked up the notebook beside her and began to write down the result: CHANGES COLOR.

Lord Monochromicorn and Cake decided to combine their notes together. First, Cake put a cup of a cyan, gelatin-like substance inside a bottle of a thick, cerulean syrup and stirred it with a thin metal stick. Lord Monochromicorn added a green powder to it soon after. Cake poured more of the gelatin into a beaker of green liquid. The solution fizzled like carbonated soda.

LSP poured some green syrup into a vial of yellow powder, shook it until it turned cyan, and poured it back into the green syrup until it turned pink.

As Fionna was trying to decide whether to add red liquid or purple pearl-like thingies into her dark pink solution, she heard a soft chirping to her left. Turning, she saw a tall, pink cage made of caramelized sugar atop the nearby counter. Inside, a small, canary-like bird was flitting around energetically. It was colored bright pink, dark brown and pure white, like a sort of chocolaty treat. The bird was absolutely freaking out, twirling and swerving and sharply darting in the air.

"That bird is going ba-nay-nays..." Cake observed. She stepped over to Fionna's side for a closer look. "Ya think it has rabies?"

"I'LL HANDLE THIS!" LSP suddenly appeared behind them, one hand on the door of the cage and the other holding a rather vicious-looking metal scalp utensil.

"NO!" "LSP, NO!" "DON'T DO IT, MAN!" "IT'S SO INNOCENT!" Fionna and Cake cried as they tried to pull the crazed prince away from the small creature.

Fionna took two powders, one bright blue and the other dark green, and dumped them into a beaker filled with a red gelatin. It bubbled fiercely, and Fionna let out a gag at the bittersweet scent that filled the air.

Cake pulled on the latex gloves and slipped on the protective mask over her face. Lord Monochromicorn handed her the metal clamp that she needed. Cake opened the lid of the aluminum basin. A thick fog of dark green smoke filled the air as an acid-hot flurry of orange sparks burst forth. Cake dipped the clamp inside the boiling liquid and pulled out a rock-candy-like lump that glistened lavender and cyan. However, the lump disintegrated to powder a moment later. Cake turned to her boyfriend and shrugged.

LSP took three cans of syrup and gelatin and dumped it all into a large glass basin. Thick, sweet foam bubbled on the surface until it almost poured over the brim. "ATTABOY!"

Well, a lot more (unprotected) combining, (unprotected) mixing, and (unprotected) shaking of the (dangerous) liquids, (radioactive) powders, and (acidic) gelatins ensued. Finally, a good half-hour later, the four of them had their three (Cake and Lord Monochromicorn shared one) solutions. Fionna's was a dark blue solution, almost as thick as molasses. LSP's was bright cyan, thinner than water, with purple grains fermented at the bottom. Cake and Lord Monochromicorn's was bright magenta, which had the texture of milk and kept spurting out plumes of blue steam.

"LET'S GO SAVE OUR GUMBALL!" Fionna screamed. With several battle cries, the four of them ran out of the laboratory and ran to the Grand Hall.

They all ran to the window that LSP had boarded up an hour before. Zombies were still trying to crawl inside, either sticking their limbs through the cracks between the wooden boards or gnawing at the wood with their bony teeth. Their green eyes glowed brighter as the four friends approached.

"Mine first," Fionna said. She stepped forward, and, cautiously, poured her solution onto the face of one of the zombies, a raspberry donut, saving some in case it worked.

At once, the zombie reeled back from the window, covering its face with its gray hands. Its arms began to flail as it shrieked in pain. Its arms began to spasm and jerk, a few places of flesh lashing out as if animals were crawling under its skin. The flesh eventually shot out at three feet's length, and the zombie howled in pain.

Bat-like wings, thin and leathery, were left under the zombie's arms.

Fionna and Cake instinctively screamed.

It was almost as if the zombie realized that it was now much more advanced. With a surprised growl, and a shake of its wings, it waddled over to a nearby zombified chocolate bar and bit its dripping teeth into its arm. It let out a surprised gasp, then a pleasant one as the leathery wings spouted under its arms. Together, the raspberry donut zombie and the chocolate bar zombie bit into the flesh of a nearby strawberry zombie. Its arms flew out with new wings, and together, all three of them howled. Then, they took off for the sky with cries of, "SUGARRRR!"

"Oh...crum..." Fionna whispered to herself, watching as the zombies circled in the air like vultures.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at the top of an abandoned police tower, Starchie the Gravedigger looked down at the growing mass of hungry zombies piled at the entrance of the castle, beating and clawing at the door. Starchie had spent the last week (even though the outbreak had only started about nine hours ago) setting up the tower for the zombies. It was several stories high, but even so, she had pulled three heavy steel boxes atop the latch-door entrance. She had raided the Candy Kingdom's weaponry, taking everything she could carry in her arms. She bought every single item in the store that either did not expire at all (rice, salt, honey, water) or expired after a very long time (dried fruits, nuts, canned foods). She had also covered herself head-to-toe in duct tape, plastic pads, and a hockey mask. She wasn't about to die.<p>

"I knew it! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN," she screamed down to the zombies. "Starchie is going to be the final girl, yes she is!" She began to do a little jig, humming to herself...

...until one of the newly-flying zombies plucked her from the tower and carried her away. "DAAAAAAAANG IT!"

0000000000000

Fionna, Cake, LSP and Lord Monochromicorn jumped as Starchie broke through the boards on the window and landed on the floor. The new opening in the window beckoned the zombies to pour inside, growling and snarling almost smugly.

"WE GOTTA GO _NOW_!" Cake screamed. A zombie reached out to grab her tail, and she jumped to Lord Monochromicorn for protection.

"UPSTAIRS! NOW!"

* * *

><p>After dashing up to the upstairs observatory, the four friends slammed the metal door behind them and stood, panting, in the large, dark room. Finally, Fionna breathed out, "Cake...Mo-Chro...do yours...now..."<p>

Cake made a move to approach the large window in the far wall, holding the formula she and her boyfriend had made. But before she could do so, LSP rudely pushed the cat out of the way (making Lord Monochromicorn give him a burning glare) and stormed towards the window himself. "Nuh-uh! If anyone is going down in history as the person who saved the Candy Kingdom, it's going to be me!" LSP opened the window and poured his entire formula down on the zombies, chucking the glass beaker down afterwards.

The formula splashed onto the faces and limbs of two of the flying zombies and five more down below. As if aggravated, the one of the flying zombies flew up to the window and slammed its hands against the glass. LSP reeled back.

Suddenly, the zombie's muscles began to spasm. Its body lurched and swerved in the air, twitching and jerking. Its flesh began to expand and stretch like rubber.

Soon, the zombie's body was covered in thick, meaty muscles.

"HO-LY CRUD." LSP gawked. He turned to the others, and it seemed like he was about to warn them of the new danger, when he instead proclaimed, "LOOK AT THOSE PECS! I GOTTA GET THE REST OF THAT FORMULA!"

LSP pushed Fionna and Cake aside harshly, flinging the metal door open loudly and speeding down the stairs. Knowing he was too far to rescue, the others decided to simply look out the window to see if he would succeed.

LSP broke into the crowd of zombies, shoving them aside as he screamed, "LUMP OFF! THAT'S MINE!" He pushed his way to the small puddle of formula that was quickly absorbing into the ground beneath it. LSP knelt beside the formula, splashing his hands into it and rubbing it on his skin. "C'MON! YEAH! I'M GONNA BE SO RAD! YEAH!" He whooped in cheer when his flesh began to expand and swell, becoming thicker and thicker. Unfortunately, however, it was just the areas that were touched by the formula. So, only small portions of his flesh expanded from his body, giving him the odd appearance of being covered with gargantuan warts.

All too late, LSP was aware of the zombies cluttering around him, snarling and clawing for him.

"LSP, LOOK OUT!" Fionna called form up above.

"HEY! LAY OFF!" LSP tried to punch the zombies away, but for each one gone, three more took its place. Soon, the zombies were grabbing at him, pulling him to them until, finally, LSP disappeared beneath them. There were a few screams, and the sound of teeth chomping into flesh.

LSP reemerged from the zombies with gray skin, glowing red eyes, large muscles and leathery wings.

The zombifies LSP flew up to the window of the observatory, smacking his face against the glass. Fionna and Cake reeled back as the zombie growled at them. "LSP!" "NO!"

"Dangit, Cupcake!" Fionna exclaimed. "It's up to you and Mo-Chro now! Try your formula!"

"Alright," Cake beat the window open hard enough so that LSP was bumped away by the force. Quickly, she dumped her and her boyfriend's solution down onto the heads of the zombies below.

With a few expected lurches of muscles, spasms of bones, and whatnot, the effects of the solution became clear: the zombies' fingernails stretched out from its fingers into six-inch-long claws, sharp as razors.

Soon, all of the zombies, with wings, muscles, and claws, took off into the air and began to dart for the observatory. Fionna and Cake just had enough time to scream and reel back before the window shattered and the zombies poured inside. Soon, the air was filled with zombified Candy people, growling and snarling as they soared in circles like vultures above their heads. Fionna did her best to cover herself with her arms.

"WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!" she screamed.

"TO THE LABRATORY! WE'LL BARRICADE OURSELVES INSIDE!" Cake screamed back.

* * *

><p>After five minutes of sweaty, lung-burning running, Fionna, Cake, and Lord Monochromicorn burst into the laboratory downstairs. As Fionna collapsed, exhausted, onto the floor, Cake slammed the metal door shut and pulled the steel bolt down for more precaution. The zombies, which were right on their tails, pounded at the door with their thick muscles, creating several deep indentations.<p>

Fionna, who was finally catching her breath, exclaimed, "Did anyone get bit?"

".. .-. - / .- .-.. .-. .. -. ... - .-.-.-"

"I'm good, too," Cake sighed. She stood up, stretching her back to get the tension out of it, and pointed her thumb at the door behind her. "That door's made out of three-feet-deep carmelized candy steel. It'll last for centuries."

She was completely oblivious to the fact that a zombified Ms. Candy Cane had crawled out of one of the laboratory lockers and was now stumbling towards her boyfriend.

Fionna shrieked.

"What now?" Cake turned around with a sigh. Her face set into a horrible frown when she saw the zombie approaching.

The zombie's bony teeth were mere inches away from Lord Monochromicorn's neck when Cake smacked her lower paw against its mouth, kicking her back into the locker, slamming the door tightly shut and slamming it down in front of the door. She put a plant atop of it for good measure.

"Cupcake, it didn't bite you, did it?"

Cake looked at her bottom left paw. She could just barely see that spots of her fur were sticking up at sharp angles. She brushed the fur aside and saw that there were several bleeding spots on her paw. "Uh...maybe? I can't tell. It isn't too big, though. I'll be fine."

".- .-. . / -.- - ..- / ... ..- .-. . ..-.. / .. / ... .- .- / - ... .. ... / .. -. / .- / - - ...- .. . / - -. -.-. . .-.-.- / .- / -. ..- -.- / -. - - / ... .. ... / .-.. . -. / -... .. - / -... -.- / .- / -.. - - -... .. . -..- / ... - / ... . / -.-. ..- - / .. - / - ..-. ..-. / .- -. -.. / .-. . .-. .-.. .- -.-. . -.. / .. - / .- .. - ... / .- / ... .- - .-. -.. .-.-.- / .- . / ... ... - ..- .-.. -.. / - .-. -.- / - ... .- - .-.-.-"

"Uh, no, we are _NOT _trying that." Cake felt her paw begin to tingle, then go numb, then just...shut down. She looked down at it. The white fur was darkening, graying and drying. Her digits were twitching. Cake dropped her paw to the floor, where it crawled around on its own. She stretched her leg out, pulling herself away from the infected paw.

"... .- . . - .. . -..- / -. - ?" Lord Monochromicorn 'said' quickly.

"It's alright, babe. I can stretch the infection away." Cake continued to back up, turning to her sister as she did so. "We should hurry up with that antidote, yeah?" Cake looked down at her paw and jumped. The infection was shooting up her leg now, the fur graying at an incredibly fast rate. She hurriedly limped away, sprouting a new leg from her torso. She began to run laps around the laboratory.

Fionna began to break into a nervous sweat. She shuffled through the notes left behind by the prince. They sure did look like her three-year-old birthday photos before, but now they looked like the photos from last year's Globmas party! Her eyes began to dart to and fro, and her fingers were trembling as if her bones were tectonic plates sliding over one another.

"Try one of those books! Over by the rabies-bird," Cake called to Fionna, right when she completed her third lap. Her leg was strewn around the floor.

Fionna darted to the bookcase next to the bird cage (which was STILL freaking out in its cage, even more so now) and dove into the books. Immediately, she saw that the words were just as complicated as the Globmas notes. She looked for anything remotely simple.

Her eyes landed on _Science-y Stuff for Morons. _She pulled it out and flipped the pages open. They were perfectly simple and easy, with only one or two of the words unfamiliar to her. "Yeah! The prince has an idiot-book just for us!"

"That's great, sis!" Cake ran by Fionna again, her arm still dragging behind her, the infection following up the limb.

Fionna glanced over at the birdcage. The bird had stopped its rampage, clinging onto the bars of its cage. It shook its wings on the bars, as if trying to break out. It finally head-butted one, and, as a result, landed wings-spread, legs-high on the bottom of the cage. "Cupcake, this bird is having brain diarrhea..."

Cake was quickly losing stamina. She was panting now, her leg lapped seven times around the floor like a watering hose. It was twitching and lurching like a stepped-on bug. She looked up and saw, to her relief, that Prince Gumball had a Decontamination Chamber inside the laboratory, the size of a walk-in closet, the walls and floors made of grates to allow decontaminating fumes inside. Cake ran inside, leaving most (if not all) of her infected leg outside. She hit the airlock at the last second and slammed the glass door. Her leg was squeezed to the point of snapping off between the glass and the top of the door, but she didn't feel an atom of pain.

Lord Monochromicorn flew up to the door of the Chamber and looked at his girlfriend with tragic, puppy-dog eyes. Cake was still panting, suddenly feeling very dizzy and sick. Lord Monochromicorn tapped and scratched a message on the glass of the door. "-... .- -... -.- -..- / .-. .-.. . .- ... . / - . .-.. .-.. / - . / -.- - ..- .-. .-. . / - -.- -..- / .-. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-"

"Yeah, I'm fine...I...I just need to stay in here for now...Whoo..." Cake took a deep breath, rubbing her two other legs in exhaustion. "I should not have skipped leg day..."

The infection was still rocketing up her leg. Now, it was inching towards the Chamber. It finally came to the part of her leg wedged in the door, and Cake prayed to Glob that it would stop there. It didn't. It spread through Cake's leg further, towards her torso now. Cake hurriedly stretched out more, as much as she could in the Chamber's small space. "FIFI, HURRY THAT CRUD UP!"

"I'M TRYING," Fionna screamed back. She hurriedly stirred three liquids and a powder together, shaking it and constantly looking back at the book. "Alright...Cupcake's probably going to die...but that's OK because I'll save her..."

In her panic, she slapped her hand on the button that triggered the decontamination fumes. The white gas filled the chamber, fogging the glass until Cake was completely blocked from sight.

"-.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / -.-. .- -.- . -..- / -... .- -... -.- -..- / ... - -. . -.- -..- / .- -. ... .- . .-. / - . .-.-.-"

Slowly, the fumes died away, the glass cleared, and the vision inside the chamber was clear.

Cake, her fur gray and dead-grass brown, her eyes green and as bright as lanterns, was growling at Lord Monochromicorn, clawing at him through the glass and snarling through her bony sharp teeth.

"-.-. .- -.- . .-.-.-" Lord Monochromicorn fumbled on his words in his shock.

"Don't worry, Mo-Chro," Fionna added a syrup into her formula, stirring it inside and making sure it settled before reaching for a powder next. "I'll fix her up, just don't go near her. She's not safe anymore."

Lord Monochromicorn looked at his girlfriend in desperation. She was Cake, but...she was different. She looked at him hungrily, and not in a good way. She was a hollow shell now. He didn't like it. Not at all.

"-.- - ..- .-. .-. . / -.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / -.- - ..- .-. .-. . / - -.- / -.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / .. .-. .-.. .-.. / -... . / .- .. - ... / -.- - ..- / -. - / - .- - - . .-. / .- ... .- - .-.-.-"

Lord Monochromicorn hit the airlock, and with a hiss of steam, the door swung open. The zombified Cake stumbled out, snarling through her bony teeth whilst staring at the black unicorn-like creature with her glowing green eyes. Cake paused, then, to her boyfriend's shock, wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her muzzle into his neck. He closed his eyes in content.

That was when Cake sunk her teeth into his neck.

"Alright, Lordy," said Fionna. She ran her finger under one of the passages in the book, nodding to herself as she added the last few sprinkles of powder to the formula. "I'm almost done with the serum. Just make sure that you don't open that chAAAAAAAHHH!"

Fionna shrieked as bony teeth sunk into the flesh of her neck. Pain shot up her head and shoulders, aching and burning like wasp stings. A horrible numbness in her hamstrings followed, and she felt her collarbone stiffen. Her hand flew to her neck, where it hit a different being's flesh. Fionna span around and saw that Lord Monochromicorn, with shriveled skin and glowing green eyes, had sunk his now-sharp teeth into her neck. Cake stood beside him, snarling and hissing.

Fionna felt the infection begin to spread. She heard that there were stages to an infection, stages of symptoms and signs. This was Stage 1: Numbness around her neck and shoulders, with a dull stinging and burning.

Nevertheless, she tossed her formula onto a nearby pushing cart, along with the rest of the powders, syrups, and liquids needed. She pushed the cart hurriedly away, then suddenly scraped her heels on the floor to slow down. She lifted the birdcage, as heavy as it was, onto the cart. She didn't know why she was taking the time to save a rabies-infected bird, but she was.

A loud clanging sound caught her attention. She looked up and saw that the door, made of several feet of carmelized candy steel, was beginning to bounce on its hinges, the indentations becoming deeper and deeper. Cake had made a mistake. That door probably only had a few more hours...Oh, nope, there it goes, blasting off its hinges.

A muscular, bat-winged, severely-clawed zombie cake crawled into the laboratory, snarling at Fionna. A chocolate truffle zombie poured in after it, then a zombified gumdrop. The candy cane zombie rose from the shut locker, hissing.

Fionna pushed the cart forward, setting her feet inside. She ducked as Lord Monochromicorn dived for her, and then did a full circle to avoid Cake and the zombie cake. She rolled all the way to the decontamination chamber, and pushed the cart inside. She hit the airlock right before she slammed the glass door close.

In a matter of seconds, zombiefied candy people, along with Cake and Lord Monochromicorn, were pressed against the glass. LSP and Prince Gumball had also climbed inside the room, and were joined inside the crowd. The zombies' breath left brown clouds on the glass, their white saliva dripping from their teeth. Their green eyes glowed menacingly. They growled and growled and _growled._

Stage 2 of the infection began. A headache broke into Fionna's skull, hard and fierce. Her temples throbbed in pain. Her lower stomach began to ache badly. The muscles in her legs were sore. Her throat felt thick and dry.

Fionna sank to sit down beside the cart. The bird inside the cage looked at her sadly. Fionna was about to tell it not to worry, that she was going to make a formula...right when she realized that, to her horror, she had left the book outside with the zombies. Fionna blanched in horror. "The book!" she rasped.

A zombie pounded its thick fist on the glass, leaving small, white, spider-web-like lines. Fionna felt a piece of her die. Nothing was going to save her now. Not the glass, not the prince, not herself.

Stage 3 began. Her stomach pains were horrible now, as if her intestines were on fire. Her throat was throbbing immensely, her throat burning raw. Her eyes were sore and her tonsils were swollen.

"I'm sorry, everybody," she rasped. "I couldn't save you...I tried and tried...but I couldn't...you all trusted me...LSP...PG...Cupcake...LM...PP...DooDoo...PooPoo..."

She sighed. She was speaking gibberish now. She turned her head, with a pang of pain in her neck, to look at the bird. She smiled. The bird was cute when it wasn't freaking out. At least she wouldn't die alone. "I'm sorry I got you into this...I'm so sorry...I don't even know your name..."

In answer, the bird flitted to the top of its cage and pointed its right wing at the top. Fionna looked up with bloodshot eyes and saw the inscription in fancy, swirly letters: CHEMISTRY.

"Ca-hem-ess-trai? Oh, _Chemistry_ is your name?" Fionna's eyes were so sore; she almost couldn't read the word. She hummed to herself. Then, a little spark went off in her brain as she remembered.

_"Just let chemistry do the work. Chemistry...is...my biiiiiaaaaaaaarrrrrrd..."_

Stage 4 began. Fionna's vision began to blur. Her muscles felt as if there was infection in between the layers of tissue. Her stomach was burning, and she thought in horror if the infection was causing her epithelial tissue to deteriorate. What if her stomach acid broke loose and burned away at her insides? Her heartbeat was slow and dull. Her skin was paling, gray at the knees and elbows. Her saliva tasted bitter and gluey, and she wondered if it was white. Her eyes were burning and burning and she wondered if they were green. Her hearing was off, too. The growls and snarls of the zombies were muffled, as if they were behind doors.

Fionna raised her arm (several times, as it dropped limp twice) and, with all her strength, opened the door to the birdcage.

Chemistry flitted out and dove to the notes on the cart. It read them, then nodded its little head and flew over to a small white porcelain box nearby. She flipped it open, causing a small ballerina to pop out, as chinking music began to play. Fionna would have raised an eyebrow, had she had the strength. Chemistry pushed an empty beaker to the middle of the cart with its small strength. It flitted over to a bottle labeled 'SHARP POWDER' and lifted the spoon with its tiny talons, pulling it over to the beaker and dropping its blue contents inside, going back for three more spoons. With its beak, it lifted a testing tube from a rack and dumped its thick, gelatin-like yellow substance inside the beaker with the powder. It pushed over a large bottle cyan liquid close to the beaker, then chirped at Fionna. Fionna raised her hand and, shaking it violently, dumped it inside, the beaker slipping from her hand and breaking on the floor. The last ingredient was bright blue syrup that Chemistry lifted with its talons and dumped inside the beaker.

The formula inside the beaker was bright yellow, fuming and bubbling. Chemistry picked up some kind of turkey-baster thing with its talons and dipped it into the beaker, squeezing it so liquid shot up into the glass. Chemistry flitted over to Fionna—who was panting through her mouth, barely able to breathe anymore—and dropped a single drop of the formula onto her tongue.

Immediately, the cure shot through Fionna's body. Her vision cleared like someone wiping fog off of glass. Her muscles, although a bit stiff, were not aching and felt relatively healthy. Her stomach burns ceased instantly. Her heartbeat shot up to a normal rate. Her skin was quickly coloring in, the gray spots vanishing. Her eyes stopped burning, and the muffled sounds of her hearing broke away clearly. She blinked, then stretched her muscles, humming in comfort as she felt them loosen. She smiled at Chemistry kindly.

"It works!" she cheered. She raised her fist. Chemistry bumped her wing on it.

Cracking noises got their attention. The zombies were pounding on the glass feverishly, creating even more, thicker spider web patterns. There were already holes appearing. It wouldn't be long before the glass broke and they all poured in, coming for Fionna and Chemistry.

"Chemistry, get inside!" Fionna took her thumb and lifted up her hat above her forehead. Chemistry flitted under her hat for safety. "I got a gross plan." Fionna took the large beaker of Decorpserum and, closing her eyes, dumped the whole thing over her body. The liquid was warm and fizzled like carbonated beverage. Her skin tickled and smelled like the stuff Cake used to clean the windows of the Treehouse.

The glass broke, pieces shattering all over the floor and burst in into the air. Fionna braced herself. The zombies poured inside the chamber. Fionna didn't even try to escape. In slow motion, it seemed, the zombies' incredibly sharp claws latched onto her arms and legs, one around her neck. Others pulled at her clothes. The zombies pulled her into the crowd, snarling at her. Fionna squeezed her eyes shut as she felt saliva dripping over her skin, the putrid smell of rotting flesh filling her nostrils. She felt their hot breaths over their skin; their bony teeth drawing close, and let out a long, high-pitched scream.

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful day. It was dawn, and the sky was ablaze in bright colors of pink and orange, the clouds like cotton candy. The air was cool and soothing. The Gumball Guardians on either side of the castle were blowing bubbles out of their gargantuan wands, shining pink in the sunlight.<p>

The Candy people were down in the courtyard, celebrating the end of the zombie epidemic. Peppermint Maid had a silver tray of ice cream punch on her arm, and was walking from person to person, offering them drinks. A small table of cheeses, crackers, and chips had been set up, and some people were munching on them. Most of the people, however, were apologizing to one another.

"I'm so sorry I bit you, I don't know what happened..."

"It wasn't me, I swear! It was something else..."

"I probably bit you on purpose, sorry..."

Cake turned to Lord Monochromicorn. They were both perfectly healthy now. Their eyes were normal, their skin was clear, and their teeth had filled out to their usual form. Cake stared at her paws sheepishly. "Sorry for biting you, baby. I couldn't feel my brain."

".. - .-. ... / .- .-.. .-. .. -. ... - .-.-.- / .. / .- .- -. - . -.. / -.- - ..- / - - / -... .. - . / - . .-.-.-"

Cake laughed nervously, a bright pink blush covering her fur.

Prince Gumball stood at the top of the entrance staircase. He was smiling happily, his pink skin flushed and his eyes bright with glee. He smiled down at his subjects in a way a father would to his children. "And so, my subjects, the Royal Day of Apologizing has come to an end!" He walked over to a nearby Banana Guard, smiling kindly. The Banana Guard held a red ribbon in her hand, with a gold coin hanging from it. Prince Gumball took the ribbon from the Banana Guard and turned to his friend.

Fionna smiled up at her crush. She was free of the zombie infection, not a bad cell in her blood. However, because of her tactic to cure the people, her body was covered in gashed and holes where the zombies had bitten her harshly. They had been treated and covered in bandages. Fionna brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at the prince.

"And now, I will present the Royal Medal of Honor for Heroic Bravery." Prince Gumball turned to Fionna, raising the ribbon. "Fionna the Human!"

"Yes?"

"Would you please move outta the way?"

"Sure."

Fionna stepped sideways, allowing view of the REAL hero.

Chemistry the bird stood proud and tall on a golden pedestal engraved with its name. It was chirping softly, quickly turning its head left to right to look kindly at the people. Prince Gumball smiled down at his bird.

"Chemistry the Bird! You have saved us from the epidemic, and for that, we are all eternally grateful." Prince Gumball draped the ribbon around the bird's small neck. Chemistry bowed to him in thanks.

Prince Gumball turned back to his crowd of people. He smiled at them all, and raised his arms high. "Citizens of the Candy Kingdom, rejoice!"

The people cheered madly, waving their hands and clapping. A few handfuls of confetti went into the air. Some people hugged one another.

"REJOICE!"

The people cheered harder, yelling and shouting.

_**"REJOICE!"**_


	67. Gorgeoria

**GORGEORIA**

"Hey, Fifi."

"Yeah?"

"What kinda flavor do you want for your cocoa?"

"Gingerbread." Fionna scooped up another handful of Parmesan-flavored crackers from the large blue plastic bowl in front of her. She was laying on her belly on the wooden floor of the living room, a heavy quilt draped over her back, covering her very toes. A carton of chocolate malt balls and some bags of onion-and-sour-cream chips were scattered on the floor around her. There were no lights on in the living room. All light was flashing from Beema's screen. Fionna and Cake had found this new drama whilst searching downloadable TV shows on Beema's television app. The show was about a girl enrolling at a magical academy and being sent out to slay monsters. Romance and drama to toss into, as well. They had Beema download every episode that came out each week.

Cake arrived a few minutes later with two white mugs of hot cocoa, one flavored double fudge and the other gingerbread. Fionna took hers from Cake's paw and took a long sip of the slightly spicy drink. The opening theme song of the show began to play, upbeat and snappy. As Fionna watched the credits roll, she gurgled as a laugh burst through her throat. She sputtered for a moment, then turned to Cake. "Hey, Cupcake."

"Wut?" Cake's eyes were glued to the screen, the fur around her mouth colored dark brown with the cocoa.

"What do you call bread with orange hair?"

"I dunno, rancid?" Cake guessed as she took another sip of her cocoa.

"GINGERBREAD!"

Cake dropped her mug harshly to the floor, giving her sister a harshly cold look. "Fifi, that ain't funny."

"Gingerbread~! Gingerbread~!"

"Shaddup!" Cake rolled over to lay atop her sister, sending them both rolling over the wooden floor with the quilts tangling them into a large cocoon. They both giggled, and Cake patted her sister's cheeks playfully. "Stop!"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

Cake immediately stopped hitting her sister, frowning as she turned her head in the direction of the front door of the Tree-house. "Did you hear that?"

"Mm-hm," Fionna said as she and Cake picked themselves up from the floor, undoing the quilts and carefully setting their mugs aside. Beema's screen went from playing the opening theme song to displaying the computer's own 'face'.

Fionna and Cake went to go open the door and greet their visitor. Just as they did so, however, the entire wall around the door burst open with a loud boom, sending shards of wood and splinters in every direction. A gust of cold night air whipped into the living room, making the girls shiver and scream at the same time.

There, illuminated by moonlight and lightning, was a large, hulking figure that the girls knew all too well.

"STEVEN STRONG?!"

Steven Strong, the supposedly human man that the two girls had met before, stooped down, allowing himself to escape the cold air outside and enter the living room/kitchen. He looked no different from the first time they had seen him. He was still dressed in a matted indigo garment made of scrappy fur, along with a hat shaped like a dog's head and a matted tail to match. His skin, stretched over his huge, bulking muscles, was not covered in the slightest goosebump. His luminous green eyes shined in the darkness, staring down at the two girls seriously.

"Fiohna...halp Steven."

Without a beat of hesitation, Fionna said, "Yeah, sure."

"'Scuse us for a moment, Strong." Cake pulled her sister away from the large man, pulling her all the way across the room before pulling her down to whisper in her ear. "Fifi, listen, I know you're convinced that this guy is the last male of your kind, but I am here to tell you that you CANNOT TRUST HIM."

"Why not? He's totally harmless!"

"He tried to eat all of our buddies! Plus, for all we know, he's a crazy water-person!"

"We never confirmed that!"

"Just imagine what would have happened if we never existed, Fifi! He and his people would have devoured all of our friends, and, if they found out that if practically everything on earth were edible, they would have eaten everything!"

"No, they wouldn't, because we never would have been there to get him out of that chamber. Listen, I get it if you don't want to help him, but I am, regardless of whether you want me to or not!"

"Alright, I'm coming, if only to be a complete deadweight."

Fionna walked back to her other friend, giving him a serious but kind look. "Steven, what do you need us to help you with?"

"I need ur hehoine hee-art and magic."

Fionna cocked her head to the side. "M-my magic?"

"Magic o' shine-ligh."

Steven pointed a finger in the direction of Beema, who instantly jumped, a small light flashing from her screen.

* * *

><p>About thirty minutes later saw the four companions inside the cavernous chamber that the Hyumans had been found in. There was no light in the cavern to speak of before they entered. The light emitting from Beema's screen filled the air like a lighthouse beacon. Almost nothing had changed. The twenty-foot-something buildings were still falling apart, one of them having split apart at the middle and crumbling to the ground. The piles of ash and garbage were still there, albeit increased. Their footsteps still boomed around the cavern, and they still shivered when the ice-cold water hit their skin.<p>

The Hyumans were there, too, but they lacked the hats and headgear that had concealed their fish-like features. Their fins, tentacles, gills and scales were in plain view, twitching and flapping. They hummed and whispered and clicked their tongues when they saw the newcomers, diving behind debris and rubble to escape from their sight.

Cake rolled her eyes, then scoffed when a Hyuman boy began to awe at her tail. "Fishies..."

"Lao ago, my people live in Gorgeoria," Steven began to say. His expression soured, his eyes lowering to his meaty feet. "...But driven out by Plip Plops. We come here. Too scared to fight back. This why we need your heroine heart." Steven placed his large, meaty underneath Fionna's collarbone. He stood up, and spread his arms out as he proclaimed, "HYUMANS!"

The Hyumans gasped, ducking further beneath the piles of rubble and debris that they had taken as protection.

"I be back!"

Steven turned on his heel, pulling Fionna with him as they walked between two pillars of garbage and soot. Fionna waved to the Hyumans as if they were relatives, smiling sweetly.

Cake lagged behind, turning to the people and calling out, "I BE A SQUID!" She morphed her head to grow eight furry tentacles, her eyes bulging from her head and her mouth in a slight beak. The Hyumans squealed and gasped, running far away in fear. Cake chuckled at the dark humor and strutted after the two others friends with style.

Steven led Fionna to the edge of a straight, 90-degree-angle incline that dropped thirty feet until reaching deep, dark waters that barely shined at all. Fionna craned her neck to see where the water led. The water filled a large tunnel that disappeared into darkness. There wasn't a shore to speak on on the other side of the water. It was pressed against the other side of the cavern.

"We go now," Steven told Fionna. Before she could protest, Steven picked her up like a small doll and tossed her over the side of the incline.

Fionna let out a shriek as she plummeted for the water. Steven hadn't look closely enough, and neither had she. At the very edge of the bottom of the incline, sharp rocks awaited her like razors.

Cake jumped, and shot out her arms to catch her sister. Her arms wrapped around Fionna's middle just as the human girl was about to get impaled on the razor rocks. Fionna's body curled into a 'C' shape as Cake's arms restricted around her stomach, and her forehead hit a dull rock sticking up from the dark water. A flash of white covered her vision, then dullness, then stinging, throbbing pain. She groaned as Cake lifted her back to the cliffside.

Fionna sat down heavily and pulled her white bunny ear hat from her head. Blonde locks of hair fell to her shoulders, growing out from the time in which she had shaved it all off. She brought her hand to her forehead, gingerly touching the bruised area. She hissed, sighing.

Steven lightly put his fingers to the bruise. Fionna flinched in pain, and Steven drew back. After a few seconds' silence, Steven hummed and said, "We take vroom-vroom."

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later-in which Cake carefully lowered the three of them down to a small shore at the bottom of the cavern, after which they padded over to the tunnel, waded through the water, and stepped down a wooden ladder-Fionna, Cake, and Steven were on a makeshift car-like vehicle that Steven had apparently constructed himself. The vehicle was both simple yet complex. The vehicle was a large piece of hammered wood, with a garbage can in the middle, a broken office chair for a seat, a fishing rod (where Fionna had set Beema on for a lantern), and four wheels that were surprisingly well-made. The vehicle had to be moved by a bicycle-like motor that Fionna had decided to man. Cake was standing at the front, her paws on her hips.<p>

_"I'm on this car with a couple of weirdos_

_Shakin' my tail, gotta fish and a hero_

_Down here in this water~! Down in this water~!_

_This place is getter hotter!_  
><em>It's so hot <em>It's weird.

Where are we heading, Steven?"

Steven raised one of his boxing-glove-like hands and pointed forward. "There."

Fionna and Cake looked forward...and instantly jumped.

About twenty feet ahead, a hole whose width was as wide as en eighteen wheeler's length was embedded inside the cavern wall, opening to a tunnel that sloped almost pin-straight down into darkness. Cake's tail immediately frizzed on end, and she jumped into Fionna's arms in fear.

"No, Steven, we're not supposed to-!"

Suddenly, Steven plucked Fionna like a weed from the motor and put one hand on the bicycle, pumping it up and down so that the vehicle now shot for the tunnel at full speed. The girls screamed as the tunnel came nearer and nearer, until finally, they were swaying over the edge...

...and fell.

Fionna and Cake shrieked instinctively as gravity took a hold of the vehicle and began to pull it down violently. The walls of the tunnel were relatively smooth, but the vehicle still bashed against it. Hot air blew their hair on end, and their nails harshly grabbed onto the boards for support. Their ears popped loudly. The tunnel took a sharp turn, and their stomachs lurched as the vehicle cracked loudly with the force of hitting the side of the tunnel. They sped out on a slightly more level surface, still shrieking as the vehicle eventually slowed to a stop.

Fionna and Cake were frozen for a moment, their hearts pounding against their ribs and their hair on end, but eventually, Fionna laughed nervously and began to mechanically move her legs to initiate the motor once more. Bags were under her eyes and the piece of hair poking out of her hat was pin-straight. "That was fun...Totally fun..."

Cake hopped into the air and fell into her sister lap. Her eyebrows arched over her eyes angrily, her muzzle set in a very deep frown. Her head morphed out into furry tentacles again, and she raised her arm to point at Steven angrily. "Feeeeeeesh..."

"Keeps look out fo' Plip Plops." Steven, who had remained absolutely calm throughout the trip, kept a stoic expression as he looked ahead. Suddenly, his face twisted in fear and he hissed, "NO MOVE!"

Fionna and Cake bit down on their tongues as they looked forward. There was a bouncing, squeaking sound approaching from the darkness ahead. Their hearts hammered in their chests. They could almost hear the suspenseful violins shrieking.

A red rubber ball bounced down to the vehicle.

As Steven held Fionna and Cake closer to his chest, said human and feline exchanged glances. The rubber ball bounced past the vehicle and into the darkness behind them, the squeaking becoming fainter and fainter until it disappeared entirely.

Steven let out a sigh so heavy his entire deflates out. He gasped for air desperately and shakily patted the girls' backs. "We safe now...clos call...be mohr cafil."

Steven stood, swayed, and stumbled back to the slightly crooked wheel of the vehicle once more. Cake turned to Fionna with a deep set frown and leaned into her face. Their noses touched each other at the closeness. "Fifi, I'm serious. This isn't a game anymore. We've crossed from pleasant eccentric to dangerous psychopath right now."*****

"He isn't a psychopath," huffs Fionna. "He's cool."

"Whatever you believe, Fifi," Cake smirked. "But we are on a psycho trip with a psycho driver." Cake leaned down to all four paws, growing out a flat tail, a bill over her muzzle and webs between her paws. "And I'm a psycho platypus!" Cake jumped onto Fionna, pinning her to her back. Fionna giggled as Cake patted her face with her webbed paws and poked her with her bill.

Steven hummed a chuckle in his throat. His gaze turned ahead and he frowned. "Ah. Plip Plop Smish'm Smooshes."

Cake frowned and turned around. She could hear a heavy - _too _heavy - smashing sound from ahead. Over and over. She morphed back into her normal self and turned to Fionna. "Do you hear that?"

The vehicle turns a corner, and Cake's blood ran cold.

Hammers. Two huge, car-sized, rusted steel, swinging hammers. They were attached to mechanical arms that moved up and down rhythmically. When the hammers came back to the ground, they made the ground tremble and sent chunks of rock flying. The girls could feel their bones rattle. Cake was on the verge of grabbing the vehicle and running for it at this point.

Steven just waved his hand at the hammers nonchalantly. "Smish'm Smoosh Smashers." He seemed to take notice of Cake's discomfort, because he began to scratch her ears gently. Despite her will, a purr emitted from Cake's throat. "S'okay. Steven kno wen ta go an' wen naht ta go."

Cake turned to Fionna. Her eyes were full of discomfort. "Fifi...can't we just leave...?"

"Cupcake, I need your trust, especially right at this moment." Fifi leaned into her sister's ear, whispering under her breath. "And I need your prayers, too." She turned back to the taller man with a reassuring smile. "Ready when you are, captain."

"Fifi...why can't I just stretch us over?" Cake asked worriedly.

Steven, however, took his place at the wheel. He paused, staring at the hammers intensely. He held his right hand high, then brought it down with a soft swish. "GO NOW!"

The vehicle shot forward with a sudden lurch. Cake instinctively jumped onto her older sister's shoulders, digging her claws into Fionna's blue shirt fabric. The first hammer rose mechanically, and the vehicle darted beneath it. Cake let out a small yelp of terror when the hammer smashed down behind them.

The next hammer was the worst one. With the rhythm if the hammers, the next came down more quickly, it seemed, and ended up clipping the tail of the vehicle harshly. Pieces of wood go flying as the head of the vehicle lurches up in the air. Cake shrieked this time.

When the vehicle slowed to a stop, Steven inspected the damage. Most of the tail was missing, but not enough so that the wheels would cease working correctly. He hummed, apparently impressed. "Still hav cah lef."

Cake turned to her younger human sister angrily. _"Are you blind? _He's nutter than Grandma's brownies!"

"Cupcake, take a chill pill," Fionna snapped. She was getting fed up with Cake's distrustful attitude to the last member of her kind. "And while you're at it, take a break on the Hater-ade."

Cake huffed and crossed her arms over her furry chest. As she did so, Fionna shook her head and stood to her feet. She approached Steven, who in turn knelt down to her level. "What now, Steven?"

"Hm..." Steven stroked his chin in thought. "Nevah made eet dis fah befo. Weh jus' got ta get pas' Plip-Plops."

"Hey, what are Plip-Plops, anyway?"

"Dey iz...beeg." Steven stood to his full towering height for example. Fionna nodded and gestured for him to go forward. "And...dey iz..._snarlee._" Steven hunched forward, raising his arms and bending his fingers to resemble claws. He flashed Fionna his carnivore teeth. "Dey iz fahst." Steven suddenly lifted Fionna from the floor of the vehicle without giving her time to move.

Cake hummed in thought. Fionna thought with a twinge of annoyance that she would, once again, insult Steven's quirky attitude, but instead, Cake clicked her tongue and said, "So...they're basically a bunch of Uncle Chancellers?" Cake quickly realized her words and angrily slapped a paw to her head. "Now _I'm _losing it!"

"Plip-Plops carazay scayare," Steven concludes. He bends down to Fionna's level once again. "Hyumans scayared fo ah lung tiem. Even Steven." Steven smiles and turns to Fionna. He raises his right hand and presses it to the area of her heart. "Thas' why I gla' I meet yew. Yew has great heroine-heart." He tries to gently squeeze her 'heart' gently, but ends up unintentionally crushing that area of flesh in between his fingers.

Fionna sucks in air through her teeth at the stinging sensation. She pushes Steven's hand away and rubs the tender area. "Thanks..."

* * *

><p>A half-hour passed quickly. The cavern changed considerably. The stalactites had turned from stony and sharp like teeth to warped as if it were melted. The ground was now asphalt-smooth and the water was crystal clear. Fionna felt like this fairytale Gorgeoria was close ahead. Cake had calmed down a bit. She was currently combing out the knots in her tail hairs.<p>

Steven's eyes raised forward and he audibly gasped. He grabbed Fionna from the bicycle engine and forced her gaze ahead. "Wee heer! Wee at Gorgeoria!"

Fionna's blue-green eyes landed on this magnificent structure. She gasped in awe. Gorgeoria _was _gorgeous, in a sad way. It was a large stone dome imbedded into the rock, with large parts fallen and crumbled away. The inside was open for all to see. Cubes and rectangular prisms made up the interior of Gorgeoria, littered with debris and garbage. On closer inspection, Fionna realized that they weren't shapes, but apartment complexes. A rusted white tower stood in the middle of it all, a large pit at its top. Fionna felt overcome with it.

"Wee will be oh-hay," Steven told the girls. He pointed a meaty finger up at the tower. "Once we get Shine-light up to towah." Fionna had completely forgotten about Beema. The little computer had buried itself into her backpack a long time ago, and was now poking its head out of the flap.

The ground trembled suddenly. Fionna frowned as she felt vibrations run through the vehicle and up her legs. Cake had heightened senses, and jumped a foot in the air when it happened. Steven, however, looked positively alarmed. He gasped aloud and jumped in the air. The trembling grew into shaking, and then into pounding. Cake latched onto Fionna's skirt so she wouldn't tip over. "What's with all of this?"

"Plip-Plops!" Steven squeaked. "Thay ar cahming!"

A sound droned out from behind Gorgeoria that made Fionna's skin crawl. The sound was warped and droning, a sound like a broken electric speaker. It was like three sounds at once. It grew louder and louder, closer to them. Cake's claws dug deeper in Fionna's skirt fabric. Fionna gripped onto her older sister's furry shoulder in response. Beema ducked back down into the bag.

And that's when several bouncy balls, a slinky, a girl's doll and a teddy bear basically flopped out from behind Gorgeoria.

Cake almost immediately burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. She cackled until her sides her, and continued to gasp for air afterwards. She wiped the tears from her eyes and hummed, "I-it's just a couple of kids' toys."

_Maybe so, _Fionna thought. But she _did _feel a bit...uneasy about these Plip-Plops. It didn't help that they seemed to be moving towards them. They slid across the ground in a jittering fit, as if they were glitched video game models. Fionna knew that toys didn't just move like that.

Steven was having a meltdown. His breathing was quick and ragged, his skillet-thick muscles rigged and tense. He backed away on the vehicle in fear. "T-Too manee Plip-Plops to figh'!"

Cake threw her furry arms up in exasperation. "Steven! Steven, ugh..." Cake stomped to the edge of the vehicle, where the teddy bear was approaching in the same jittery fashion as the others. Cake's paw morphed into a hook, and she turned to look at Steven with annoyance. "Steven, Plip-Plops are just normal children's' toys that your crazy mind turned into monsters. Look, I'll just use my sickle-paw, alright?" Cake raised her paw and brought it down on the teddy bear's muzzle. She chuckled when the toy's head mashed in from the force. "See, Steven, it's just-"

The teddy bear's face burst open where Cake had pierced its felt. Thick black cotton poured out of its head, dropping to the ground below. Just as Cake reeled back in discomfort, the felt of the teddy bear's head curled down it's body. It was peeling its own skin off, leaving a pile of black cotton in its wake. The cotton began to shift and inflate. When it began to shoot out, Cake jumped back in fright. The cotton rose, and things began to appear in it, small white dots. Fionna felt her stomach drop. It was _teeth. _The cotton stretched to ten feet high, forming a grotesque silhouette of a creature with dull teeth and pits for eyes.

The others began to shape as well. The bouncy balls split open wide, and black ooze pooled out of them. The ooze rose from the ground and formed blob-like creatures with warped mouths and no eyes that seemed to moan in pain. The slinky began to knot and twist until it made a skinny creature with long arms and short legs. The girl's doll's head, made of porcelain, shattered to pieces that formed a different creature. This one had eyes in its hand and its lips in its chest.

Cake's muzzle dropped open at what she had just commenced. She sucked air through her teeth. "Aye, basura!"**

The teddy bear Plip-Plop lunges forward and chomps his dull teeth. Steven reels back in fright, cowering away. Fionna jumps in quickly and brings her fist up to the Plip-Plop's mouth, uppercutting it. When it flew back, Fionna pounced on its fallen body and ripped off its snapping head easily. She tossed it away, but the rest of its body continued to kick and punch. Fionna disposed of its remaining limbs before it could attack once more.

Cake leap-frogged over her sister onto an incoming Plip-Plop, one of the bouncy-ball slime creatures. She forced herself through it, sending droplets of ooze everywhere. The ooze droplets withered and shrieked at Cake, who sneered in disgust and stomped them down until they were lifeless.

Fionna smashed and ground the doll Plip-Plop until it was a fine powder, and Cake disposed of another ooze Plip-Plop. But for every Plip-Plop fallen, three more appeared and took its place. Cake turned around to her sister and said, "Fifi, they got us outnumbered like two chocolates in a fruit basket!"

"We gotta use Beema," Fionna told her older sister. Her backpack shuffled in response. "That should get rid of them, like Steven said. Does _that _sound good to you?"

"Yes!" Cake punched away another Plip-Plop as it drew near. "I'll do whatever Steven says! Let's just do it!"

Fionna ran to the slinky Plip-Plop and outstretched her arm. She clotheslined it onto its back. She turned back to Steven, who continued to cower on the vehicle. "STEVEN! HELP US!"

"Steven scayard!" replied Steven. He cowered back a bit more. He bit down on his lip and put on a brave face, standing tall and proud. He patted over his heart with a thump. "But Steven brave, too." He leapt off of the vehicle between a swarm of Plip-Plops. As the creatures grew near, Steven threw his head back and let out a thunderous war cry. "STEVE-E-E-E-E-E-N!"

Shooting forward with sudden adrenaline, Steven held out his meaty arm as he approached a nearby doll Plip-Plop and harshly clothesline'd it. The thing hit the ground with a loud thump, spattering black goop everywhere. At the same time, a teddy Plip-Plop took Cake by the tail and raised her over its head. Cake screamed in fright as her body was smashed into the ground. Steven roared in fury and effortlessly plucks the Plip-Plop from his friend. Cake watched as Steven stuck his hands right into one of the Plip-Plop's many mouths, taking hold of its jaws and tearing it in half with a paper-esque rip. Black cotton-like substance littered the ground.

"Cake!" Steven tossed the Plip-Plop over his shoulder, turning to the feline female. "Tak tha shine-ligh to da Gorgeoria Heart."

Steven's meaty hand pointed above, and Cake followed it with her gaze. He was pointing at the white tower in the center of Gorgeoria, up at the pit at the top. With no ladders, no steps, nothing to elevate any person, Cake knew that she was really the only one who could take on this job.

Cake turned to Fionna, who was kicking off a ragdoll Plip-Plop with her feet. "YO, FOOFI, THROW ME DAT COMPUTE!"

Fionna delivered a harsh kick to the Plip-Plop's face, sending it stumbling back. Fionna pushed herself up to her feet and hurriedly pulled her backpack off her shoulders. Reaching inside, she took out the small computer/video game console and tossed it foot-ball style to her older adoptive sister. Cake caught it with one paw and shot her stretchy body through the air to the pit of the white tower.

Cake never saw it coming. So distracted by her focus on the tower's pit, she didn't see it rising from the pitch waters. It was a shapeless form of black cotton, goo, slinky wires and porcelain shards. Thousands of teeth, hundreds of ribs, dozens of pairs of jaws and other grotesque bones were imbedded in its body, creating an image of a million nightmares. Its roar was electric and static, a dying animal or a screaming banshee.

Cake finally reaches the pit of the tower, which wasn't really a pit at all but more or less a power-box. The box was a jumble of wires, buttons, switches and motherboards mixed together like a electric spaghetti. Cake's eyes landed on the USB-like entrance in the middle. She turned to Beema, who obediently removed the face of its body. Cake's eyes traveled to the wound chord in a small compartment and removed it, finding a USB end. She connected it to the entrance in the power box. Beema's screen turned into a blinking ellipses. Cake leaned against the box as she waited. She tapped her digits on the surface, whistled a tune, and then disappointingly stared down at her claws. "Ooh, mama's gotta get these trimmed."

The mutated Plip-Plop mass appeared suddenly, nearly sending Cake into a million cardiac arrests. It roars its inhumane roars again, and every being in a ten-mile radius flinches as a result.

Cake, meanwhile, just stares at the Plip-Plop with wide eyes and slack jaw. Then, in a Boston accent, she screams, "THAT LOOKS LIKE UNCLE LEO!"

Cake prepares herself for the worst beatdown in her life, but it never comes. Beema's screen flashes, its body beeps, and suddenly, there is light. Every fixture, every compartment, every surface and crook and cranny is suddenly filled with light so bright it's lightning to the companions.

The Plip-Plops shriek and scream their inhumane sounds. As the three companions watch, the black goo evaporates, the pitch cotton disintegrates and the dark porcelain shards crumble to dust. The bones themselves fade away from existence, leaving nothing of the Plip-Plops. Everyone sighs in relief at knowing this.

Cake stretches herself back down to the level of her friends. Fionna brushes the black soot from her shirt and skirt in puffs of dark color. Steven himself pushes himself back onto his feet and observes the twinkling lights of the city. Cake turns to examine the new sight of Gorgeoria as well. The whole city is a structure of starlight and shine. "It _is _gorgeous."

* * *

><p>Fionna would probably never know how, but Steven managed to make contact with the other Hyumans. They found the switches for the Smish'm Smooshes to assure a fairly safe passage for them. In about thirty minutes, vehicle after vehicle of Hyumans were traveling into the light of their city with luggage and children in tow. It warmed Fionna's heart to see them all together, her people, happy and at peace for once in their lives.<p>

As Cake assisted a Hyuman woman with her bags, Fionna turned to Steven. "This place is great for you guys. We'll come visit, alright?"

Steven frowned in either confusion or disappointment. He put a hand on Fionna's shoulder - at least gently so she wouldn't crumple at his touch - and said in a soft voice, "Fionna stah heer wit Steven. We liv togeter."

Fionna felt this like a punch in the gut. To stay with Hyumans sounded amazing, to live in Gorgeoria and never be afraid of the fears of the outside world. But she would miss her friends, the sensation of sunlight on her face and the grass beneath her feet, the fresh air and the adventures, off course. Gorgeoria was so small compared to Aaa. "No, Steven. I have to leave. I'm not like you."

Steven took Fionna's hand in his. Fionna squeezed it back, but slowly, Steven pulled her hand to his neck. Sliding it under his hat, he brushed her hand over the flesh beneath it.

Fionna felt her heart skip a beat. Could it be true? "Steven..."

Before Fionna could say another word, Cake cried out, "C'MON, FIFI, I GRABBED LIKE TEN POUNDS OF POPCORN." Fionna turned and saw, as expected, that Cake was sitting on the remains of the vehicle, a happy Beema at her side. Several bags of popcorn, orange, white, and yellow of all flavors were around them.

Fionna turned to look back at Steven, who smiled at her warmly and gestured with his meaty hand for her to continue. Fionna numbly walked to the vehicle and climbed aboard, sitting at the bicycle engine. Cake began to man the steering wheel, and Fionna span her legs in circles. As the vehicle turned down the tunnel, Fionna looked at Steven one last time. He smiled at her and waved. She waved back. At least she had Steven...

* * *

><p><strong>Alright...I know that I've neglected my rights as an author by making you guys wait for so long for this. But I want to write stories out of enjoyment. I've been feeling labored, not happy, writing this story as of yet. It seemed more like a job than a hobby. I promise now that I will continue this story and take it by the reigns. Also, I have promised that episodes fro here on out will have special flair to them. I've also added the idea of Cake speaking in movie or book references. <strong>

***Carlotta, **_**Penn & Teller Get Killed**_**. I do not own.**

****Rikochet**_**, ¡Mucha Lucha!**_** I do not own.**


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